Toni and Ryan - Questions About Australian Food
Episode Date: January 16, 2023Aussie food questions, and a DELICIOUS I told ya so - but who's it for?! Love ya! Toni xo Come say hey and get a selfie with us in front of our HOT FUN GARBAGE TRUCK! Saturday 21st January , St Kilda... Beach (look for our giant faces on a garbo truck) Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the podcast. This is Sarah. Hi, Sarah. I'm Tony. This is Ryan. We're calling a rare Victorian
Sarah. It's Tony and Ryan. Oh, so excited. Yay. Oh, how are you? Oh, great. Now it says you're
from, it says you're from Little River.
If you were the, like, head of tourism of Little River,
how would you, in a sentence, like, you know, sell it to us?
We've got a river.
How big is it?
It's not big.
It's massive.
It's ironically named. It's massive. It's ironically named.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
And will you approve the podcast?
Yeah, of course.
Yay!
This is Sarah from Little River and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
Yeah. Welcome to the podcast.
Welcome. Hello.
There's one thing we hate on this podcast.
Ants.
Ants and hypocrites.
Hippogriffs?
Hippogriffs. Hypocrites.
Oh, sorry.
People who say something that turns out not to be true.
And it's not that they were lying necessarily.
But maybe they didn't realise.
For example, or maybe hypocrites is a bit strong,
I never locked my scooter.
Yep.
Because I knew no one would ever steal it,
even though Tony told me all the time, someone will fucking steal it.
Yep.
And what happened?
Someone stole it.
Got stolen because you left it out.
That's what happens when you don't care for your things.
There's a I told you so coming up today.
From me?
And it's going to make me feel real good.
Hmm.
Okay.
All right.
I'm just so really wrong.
But first, a lot of people from overseas have a lot of questions about Australia
because it is this like faraway island.
For us, it's all we know.
It's normal.
But it is this faraway island way down south that has cool beaches
and it's a desert sort of, but it's cities, but it's beaches.
And it's an island, but also a country and also a thing.
Yeah, a continent.
Yeah, there's a lot fucking going on.
Do you think that every country is like that, though, a little bit?
How do you mean?
Like you kind of have one idea of what it's like.
Like someone talked to me the other day about, or I saw on Instagram,
someone went on holiday in Egypt.
And I just imagined that.
I was like, well, how do you eat?
It's just desert.
It's just pyramids and desert.
They're like, the pyramids are literally right here
and then next door is like a super mall.
Yeah.
Like, but when you think of it, it's like desolate
and there's nothing around.
Well, I've seen the mummy.
I know nothing's there.
Yeah, that's true.
I mean, times have changed, I think.
Yeah, slightly in a couple hundred years.
But Cairo is like a huge city.
Yeah, but when you think of it. You just don't think, yeah. No, so do you think it's. Do you just eat sand and walk think. Yeah, slightly in a couple hundred years. But Cairo is like a huge city. Yeah, but when you think of it.
You just don't think, yeah.
No.
Do you just eat sand and walk home?
Yeah.
So whenever you think of other places like in Australia we ride kangaroos to school
and in Egypt there's no shops.
You know how people just think that kind of stuff?
I nearly hit a kangaroo.
I think I did hit a kangaroo this morning.
I had to slam on the brakes.
You're not supposed to do that. Aren't you? No, that's like the worst thing that you can had to slam on the brakes. You're not supposed to do that.
Aren't you?
No, that's like the worst thing that you can do is slam on the brakes.
What should you do?
You should like squeeze the brakes on, but you're supposed to just keep going.
And just run over a kangaroo.
It's way more dangerous to like try and stop or swerve.
Yeah.
Oh, I'd say I'd slow down.
But basically, it jumped down in front of me and then ran in the same direction of the car.
So I was like catching up to it.
Yeah.
And I was, like, you know, like one eye closed being like, oh.
And I reckon I, like, didn't hit it but made, like,
would have clipped its tail.
Yeah.
Like gave it a little butt tap and then it just jumped off to the side.
It's so scary when it happens, yeah.
My phone disconnected because it, like, flew forward.
My backpack was in the back seat and ended up, like, on the floor floor and stuff like, yeah, I totally forgot about it until just now.
So that's what it's like living in Australia. That does actually, yeah.
Yeah, I've been in a really bad car accident because of a kangaroo actually.
Well, Tony wouldn't know anymore because she's a city girl. Yeah, I am. But now I've moved out into the
outback. This is just daily occurrence. The country.
But there's a few questions that have come through about Australian food.
Oh.
And if I know one thing about Toni Lodge is that she's an expert in cuisine
and fine dining and she will be the representative of our continent,
island, country and land when it comes to fine dining.
That was beautiful.
Put that on my LinkedIn.
Thank you.
Question.
Question.
Why do Australians get excited by the prospect of a boring sausage
in boring white bread?
It's our culture.
It's our national food.
I don't know what it is.
There's something beautiful about the simplicity of a sausage sizzle.
Yeah.
And we're not talking about a hot dog.
No.
We're not talking about a bun.
We're not talking about like a Frankfurt or like a Wiener
or a Kransky or anything like that.
A barbecue.
Do they have like normal barbecue sausages like elsewhere?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So like just a barbecue sausage, white bread.
It's not trying to be a hot dog.
I think the most important thing is that it's not a Pov hot dog.
It's a separate thing.
It's a sausage.
It's bread.
Do you have a tomato sauce, gal?
I do tomato sauce and mustard.
I'm a mustard girl.
Barbecue sauce and mustard, yeah.
But you know what I like on an actual hot dog?
I wouldn't do this on a sausage sizzle, but on an actual hot dog,
like long pickle, yeah, and a bit of raw onion,
a bit of cooked onion.
Cooked onion on a sausage sizzle? Yep. Are you a fan of onion on a bit of cooked onion. Cooked onion on a sausage sizzle.
Yep.
Are you a fan of onion on a sausage sizzle?
Don't like onion at all.
Oh, you're not an onion guy.
Yeah, of course.
Makes your tummy upset.
No, I don't like the texture.
There's a lot of things that make my tummy upset,
but strangely that's not one of them.
Or it might be.
I've just never had it.
The bite into it is like, what?
When it's cooked or raw?
Both.
Really?
Yeah, the texture of it.
What if it's in like a bolognese or something? Oh, even if it's like, what? When it's cooked or raw? Both. Really? Yeah, the texture of it. What if it's in like a bolognese or something?
Or even if it's like cooked down?
So Bridget has confessed that she might hide it.
Right.
In some stuff.
But I think it's just the biting into it.
So when it's like cooked down and is for flavour.
Yeah.
And then that's the running joke in the house because I'll see her like cutting onions,
putting them in the pan.
I'll be like, oh, what's that?
Considering we don't have that. Onions in our house, yeah. the pan. I'll be like, oh, what's that? Considering we don't have that.
Onions in our house, yeah.
What is that?
And she goes, oh, it's just flavour.
She's not wrong.
No, no.
But it's like flavour is now like a type of food.
It's like, yep, two tomatoes, three flavours and a pickle, thank you.
Why do Australians put beetroot on everything?
Fuck, beetroot is so good.
It is risky though.
Yeah, in terms of dropping it on yourself.
Yeah, yep.
So I've been banned from eating beetroot on our couch and our rug at the house.
And if I was wearing this white T-shirt, I would be strongly advised to change.
Out of these, actually, I'll get you to put these in order, these four,
from best to worst.
Beetroot on a burger, beetroot in a salad, a beetroot cured salmon,
you know, when you put it in the form.
Oh, yeah.
And then a beetroot hummus.
And I don't want to sway the jury, but with summer.
No, I love a beetroot hummus.
I'm in a phase.
I'm in a phase.
All right.
From, I'm not going to say worst to best because I think they're all pretty good.
Yep.
I'm probably going to go the beetroot salmon, then the beetroot, what was the second one?
Just in a salad.
Oh, yeah.
Salmon, salad, hummus, then burger.
Beetroot in a burger, the crunch you get as you bite into a burger. Beetroot in a burger, the crunch you get as you bite into a burger. So
it's a thing in Australia, like an Aussie burger
and it will have like beetroot and an egg.
Wow, let me get to the next question.
Oh, sorry, mum. Why the fuck
do Australians put eggs on their
burgers and everything? Is this a
myth or is everything I hear true?
What?
Why do Australians have eggs on burgers?
Do other places not do that?
No.
Is eggs on burgers not a thing in not Australia?
When you have an egg on a pizza, what kind of pizza is it normally?
Breakfast pizza.
Where are you going?
No, traditionally it's like an Aussie pizza.
Is it?
Yeah, because it's an Australian thing.
Or when you get the Australian burger at a burger place,
that's the one with the egg in it.
But I just assumed that we just called it that.
I didn't know that other places didn't put egg on stuff.
I love egg in a burger.
Same.
It's elite.
No one else is doing it.
I actually didn't know that.
What would you say to Big Burger, you know, the industry in the US,
and America claims to be like, you know, Burger Kings,
not the Burger King, but Kings of Burgers.
What would you say to them about their lack of eggs?
Put an egg on it.
Yeah, yeah.
That's what I would say.
There's your jingle.
Yeah, that's what I would say.
There's your jingle.
Australians have sushi with chicken and not seafood.
Do Australians understand that sushi means seafood?
We do both.
And I don't think that sushi means seafood, does it?
Well, if someone goes, what is sushi?
I'd go, oh, you know, like rice with seafood.
Oh, yeah, because most people would assume fish, I guess.
Yeah, that's true.
Apparently we're rolling with chicken and the rest of the world's like, nah,
it's for like or if not seafood, you have like, you know,
the California, like the carrot and the avocado.
Yeah, and California has like crab stick in it normally. Oh, there you go, yeah.
Yeah, or like seafood salad or something.
So what's going on with Australians having a spicy chicken?
Well, I just would have assumed that was normal because normally in sushi
it's like katsu chicken, like the crumbed chicken,
which like you get on like a Donbury or like when you get –
if you order like a Japanese curry and it's got like the katsu schnitzel on top.
I know it's not quite right, but can you just write down katsu chicken for adulting porn and we'll just say that to each other
and know the next time we do that segment?
Yeah, I'm writing it down now.
Actually, though, because katsu chicken.
Torbs makes it.
But that's not sushi, though, is it?
Are we confusing sushi with just like Japanese fucking awesome things?
No, no, no.
But it's normally the katsu chicken that they put into it
because it's different to a schnitzel, you know. So that's normally the katsu chicken that they put into it because it's different to a schnitzel, you know.
So that's normally the chicken.
So I'm like, well, it's Japanese, like, prepared chicken.
So it's not as if we're putting fucking a chicken breast
with Vegemite on it into sushi.
Put some rice on that parma, mate.
We'll call it Japanese.
Exactly.
Who feels like Japanese tonight, guys?
Fusion.
Fusion's a lie.
Fusion, you know, like fusion's a lie.
I like chicken in sushi, but I'm realising that might make me just sound like super white.
But I also, I love like I'm a big fan of like fresh seafood,
as in like raw fish, like when you get the thing, it's so funny.
You're not a racist white guy, mate, we get it.
Oh, no, no.
I love the fish as well. No, but normally I'll get a chicken and I you get the thing. You're not a racist white guy, mate. We get it. Oh, no, no. I love the fish as well.
No, but normally I'll get a chicken and I'll get a fish.
Yeah.
Remember that time I came around with like one of everything to your house?
Yeah, that was very good.
Why do Australians put chicken salt on everything?
Because it's delicious.
Easy question, easy answer.
Is chicken salt a thing elsewhere?
It mustn't be because whenever we mention it, people are like,
what the fuck's that?
Why are you putting it on everything?
And we're here going, because it's fucking delicious.
What is the conspiracy here?
What is chicken salt?
Like, I know that that sounds like a dumb question,
but, like, because it's not salt, is it flavoured salt?
I'm guessing it's not chickens.
No.
See, when you say it sounds like a dumb question, it does,
but then I don't know the answer.
I actually don't know, like, what it's made of.
You know how you get that?
Is it just MSG?
I mean, yeah.
Maybe it's like, do we want to know the answer?
Yeah, yeah.
I really don't know what it is, but it's yum.
All right, I'm looking down the barrel of the camera.
If you know the answer and it's a good answer, tell me.
If you know the answer and it's a good answer, tell me. If you know the answer and it's a bad answer, just leave an emoji.
Yeah, we don't want to know how the sausage is made.
Finally, this is from Jackie, who's a bit fucking, how are you going?
Oh.
Jackie, why the fuck do Australians insist on toasting every sandwich?
Sometimes I just want a cold sandwich.
Is Australian bread poisonous unless toasted?
I've never been to a place in Australia and had something with bread in it
without being like, oh, we'll toast it.
They do always, when you go to a cafe or something, they always offer.
I don't understand the obsession because I love melted cheese,
but I hate crumbs.
What a predicament we find ourselves in.
It's really tough because I would love to have a toasted sandwich
because, you know, the cheese melts or the chicken gets hot
or, you know, it all kind of mushes together.
But then I'm not into, like, you know, at Subway.
Well, when they toast it, it gets crunchy, you bite in.
Yeah.
I don't like that.
Okay.
So remember that time I thought of the thing that you would hate the most
and it was going up to someone in the supermarket who clearly didn't work there
and being like, excuse me, do you work here?
Yes.
I'm going to add to that category.
After we do this episode, let's go downstairs to Jethro's, the cafe,
and be like, hey, I fucking hate crumbs, but I'm all about melted cheese.
Can I get, like, the stuff inside the sandwich melted?
I would never.
Can I get that stuff melted but on fresh bread?
Challenge not accepted.
I have to go there every day.
With a Diet Coke.
Yeah.
From McDonald's.
This is Shara from Little River and I approve this podcast.
A big shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
All of the information is in our show notes if you want to check it out.
Big thank you to Deborah Mackey, Kaya Schmichter.
Thank you so much.
Kayla Sloth.
Meryl Schmichter.
Sand Walsh.
And Brooke Guy.
Good on you.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
Fucking love to see it.
You know, this is almost that you love to see it come early.
I don't like this, that it's a fucking I told you so thing.
We here at the Tony and Ryan podcasts know that people saying I told you so is very satisfying.
I'm just always trying my best.
That's what I'd just like to say.
I'm just always trying my best.
I'm a flawed woman, but I try my best. That's what I'd just like to say. I'm just always trying my best. I'm a flawed woman,
but I try my best. That's sort of beautiful. Thank you. I know that I have flaws. I know
I'm not perfect, but I just always try my best. I disagree. No, I agree that you try your best,
but I disagree that you are perfect to me. I fucking hate this because you're buttering me up for something.
I don't like it.
Can't a colleague express his gratitude for-
Not when you're mean to me during the break.
You're nice on air, but you're mean personally.
Fake news.
What am I fucking-
Can you actually just put me out of my fucking misery and just shoot me?
Like, I actually hate this.
When Tony bought little Pippa into her life, beautiful little bulldog.
French bulldog.
Only a French bulldog owner would get it.
I said, oh, she'll end up sleeping in the bed.
And you said, no, no, no, she's not allowed to come on the bed.
Well, she's not. She's not allowed to come up onto the bed. She's to come on the bed. Well, she's not.
She's not allowed to come up onto the bed.
She's not allowed on the bed.
She's not allowed to arrive at the bed.
And that's it.
Two questions.
One, does Pippa now sleep on the bed?
And the second question, is it true someone purchased Pippa
her own doggy stairs so she can walk up her own stairs onto said bed
on her own without help?
All right.
Well, okay.
So the answers to both of those questions is yes,
she is sleeping in the bed.
Yes, we did buy a product called Pet Steps.
Use the code Tony.
No, no, no, not sponsored.
Paid full price.
Though we're not true, actually.
How much?
Text me.
I think they're about $160.
For fucking three pieces of wood.
It's high-density foam so that when she runs up them,
it's not hard on her little legs.
She stands on the ground all day.
And it's covered in, like, carpet so that it's really soft.
We're in the wrong business.
And they've got, like, rubber footing so that they don't slip as she runs up.
So when we – so I've wanted a dog forever, right?
Torbs, my partner, was not really fussed on the dog before we had it.
He's more of a cat guy, but I'm –
That's actually fucking so Torbs.
Isn't it?
But like I am super allergic to cats, so I was like,
we can't risk getting one.
So when we talked about it, I was like, I really want a dog.
I'm, like, really ready for it.
I think that we should do it.
He was like, oh, you know, like, if you want.
But now, who is Pippa's best friend?
Torbs.
Torbs.
And I said, wouldn't it be great if, like, you know,
we had a little dog and, like, she slept, like,
she was on the couch with us and, you know,
she slept in the bed and Torbs went, well, she's not sleeping in the bed.
She won't be sleeping in the bed.
Like, no dogs in the bed.
And I went, oh, well, it would be pretty cute though.
And he was like, no, no dogs.
Like, I just, I don't think it's worth risking our sleep for a dog.
We got about three, I think we've had people for about four months.
We got three months in and she started like asking
to come into the bed in the morning.
Yeah, so she'd wake up early.
She'd wake up at like five o'clock and we would get up and get up with her
when we didn't need to wake up yet and we'd end up going out
and sleeping on the couch.
So like see you later, spine.
Our couch is fucking shit and one of us would be in bed
but one of us would be on the couch with Pippa.
Yeah.
And I was like this is not working.
Wouldn't she just accept no for an answer? No, she would just like jump up on the bed and Pippa. Yeah. And I was like, this is not working. Wouldn't she just accept no for an answer?
No, she would just like jump up on the bed and she would be like,
what are you guys doing?
And we'd be sleeping, go back to fucking bed.
So she was really at night, she's happy to go to her own bed,
but in the morning she's like, cool, want to come up with you guys
or I want to get up and play.
I was like, this is fucking ridiculous.
What if in the morning we pulled her into the bed just
for an hour before our alarms go off?
So we can just, she's stealing an hour's sleep from us every morning.
Yeah.
See, this is a big decision because you know once that line is crossed.
Yeah.
So we started doing that.
Who knows where it could end up?
You could end up buying stairs.
Pet steps.
So we started doing that and it was really good because it meant that we could just,
because she, as soon as she's in the bed, she calms down.
As soon as she was out in the lounge room, she fell asleep on the couch.
It wasn't that she was ready to get up.
It was just that she was like, I want attention now.
So we were pulling her into the bed.
We were sleeping great.
And I was like, that's awesome.
She was still going to her own bed happily at nighttime, but coming in the morning and
being like, cool, I'm ready to come in.
Then Torbs goes, maybe tonight, it's the weekend,
maybe tonight she could sleep with us.
And I went, mate, the boundary that you put in place was
that Pippa will not be sleeping in the bed with us because, you know,
like boundaries, like she needs to learn and, you know,
what if Ryan and Bridget have Pippa for the weekend
and then she's asking to sleep in their bed with BJ and fucking two of them
and daughter McDaughterface?
Jump in, sweetheart.
Yeah, you're welcome to.
I'd love her to, yeah.
What would happen?
Oh, he'd love it.
Yeah, everyone would love it.
Ryan will sleep in the spare room.
Bridget's got daughter McDaughterface and BJ.
Ryan's with Pippa.
Yeah.
And I was like, you know, if she has to stay with someone,
like it's easier to kind of have a good routine.
He was like, but it's the weekend.
So we pulled her up onto the bed.
How'd she go?
She fucking loved it.
She fell asleep straight away.
She fell asleep.
She knew that I was the one she had to get over the line.
Really?
So she snuggled right into me, looking all cute like this.
Oh, yeah.
Looking all fucking cute.
Slept with me the whole night.
Didn't stir, didn't move, didn't fucking move,
didn't interrupt us at all.
She knew.
She knew that it was a test.
It was an audition, yes.
And then, so in the morning, she would like, if I got up first,
she'd jump off the bed with me but then go, oh, well,
Dad's still in bed.
I'm going to go back to bed.
But then have to jump on the side of the bed for him to like put her up
because she can't jump onto the bed.
Yeah, she's got little legs.
Because she's only got tiny little legs.
She's got little legs.
Little wingettes.
Little tiny legs.
And so that was waking us up.
So then Torbs goes, well, now if she gets down because she needs to do a wee,
she jumps off the bed, which she's not supposed to do,
but she can't get back on.
In comes the pet steps.
Torbz ordered them on Amazon.
He ordered them.
This is all him.
He goes, we'll get some.
When I first confronted you about this, and confront was probably the right word,
and also when I say confront, we were both deep in the pool all drinking beers.
So it was a very non-confrontational.
It was casual, yeah.
Confronting.
Yeah, a casual confrontation.
So you were very quick because you were like, you guys were kind of blaming each other
because it's like, oh, you got him up in the morning.
Yeah, but then once we started, you were the one who said it at night.
So it was a bit of like who is the one responsible
for this line crossing?
Pippa.
Pippa was.
Well, it's funny.
Yeah, no one tried to blame her at first, but now that I think about it,
she is the one to blame.
You said something about stairs and I was like, stairs,
are you joking, Tony?
And you go, it was Torbs.
He bought it.
He went on Amazon.
And he did.
I fucking object.
That is what happened.
Yeah, so then I looked from you and I peered across at Torbz,
who had also heard this accusation, and he goes, yeah, I did buy them
because I was sick of fucking hearing about it.
There's fucking GST on that from him.
It was not.
But even his just delivery.
Fuck, that just killed me.
I'm sick of fucking hearing about it.
Fuck, he's a little bitch, isn't he?
Give me the credit card.
Whose side is he on?
He begs for Pippa to stay the night, and then when she does,
I'm sick of hearing about it.
Oh, the stairs, her jumping off the bed.
I just. Have the stairs been her jumping off the bed. I just.
Have the stairs been a good purchase?
The stairs actually have.
So we spent about 15 minutes training Pippa how to use her stairs.
Yep.
So at first we obviously put a little treat on them so she would walk up,
and now she gets up and down with her stairs every, like,
she hasn't jumped off the bed since,
which is really good for her tiny little legs.
Tiny little legs.
And so does she now-
Fuck, she has the best life.
Like she honestly is living la vida loca.
So does she take herself to bed now that she's got stairs?
She can take herself-
Or she wait for you guys or-
So she always comes to bed with us, but normally I go to bed first.
So she'll come and she'll snuggle with me until I fall asleep.
Oh my God, it's adorable.
Then she takes herself off the bed.
Yep.
Goes and sits with Torbs in the office while he's like soldering
or playing games or whatever.
And then she'll either, if she gets sick of him,
she'll come back into me or she'll come to bed with him.
And then all three of you.
Yep.
And Pippa sleeps in between you guys?
Yep.
Or just wherever?
In the middle.
Like straight up or across.
They're her two favourite positions.
Yeah.
And then in the morning, I've had to start using a silent alarm
because she doesn't like it when my alarm goes off.
She doesn't like it?
She doesn't like it.
So I've started using like my Apple Watch and it like vibrates on my –
which is actually a way nicer way to wake up anyway.
Yeah, it is.
And then you sneak out.
And I sneak out so that the two of them can fucking snuggle in the morning.
So yesterday morning, it was like 5 a.m., 5.30 or so,
my alarm went off to go to the gym and I got up and she went –
rolled over.
She was snuggling into me.
I got up. She went – rolled over. She was snuggling into me. I got up.
Good luck with that job, mate.
Snuggled into Torbs and then she was still in bed when I got home
from the gym like an hour later.
Yep.
And then I went to jump in the shower and she looked at,
I saw like I could see the side of Torbs.
Yeah.
All I saw was her ears poke up.
Like she went, what's going on?
Who's in my house?
And I went, it's just me.
It's just mum, Pippa.
And she went, rolls over, goes back to sleep.
Didn't see them both for another hour until Torbz's alarm went off.
You've lost that dog.
She's had it too good for too long.
To be honest, I think she favours whoever's in the bed.
Oh, absolutely.
She's got it all sewn up.
She's like, who's going to feed me and who's in the bed?
All right, I've got one final question.
Oh.
And there's no follow-up questions.
Okay.
There's no detail.
It's just a, yep, nah, maybe, like whatever the answer is.
And then you'll have to see it, music will play,
and there'll be no follow-up.
There's no follow-up questions.
Okay.
Is Pippa sleeping between you two a bit of a cock block?
Nah, because we don't have sex at night.
Because we never go to bed together.
Okay.
What about the other?
Okay.
So.
As I said, we don't need.
So you don't want me to explain?
I didn't want to put you in a position where you.
Well, so on the weekend.
No, I want to tell you.
Stop the music.
On the weekend, we just pulled the steps away.
Is that like adulting foreplay?
You know, it's like.
I've moved the steps, sweetheart.
You know, like the classic, I've moved the steps, sweetheart.
You know, like the classic, like, let me just go slip into something more comfortable.
It's like, let me just go and move those steps.
How about I go and move Pippa's stairs?
Well, Torbs gets home from a busy day at work and he goes, hey, what are you doing in the backyard?
And you go, I just want to put the stairs out there.
Yeah, I just thought I'd move those old stairs.
And he goes, fuck, we're on here.
Yeah, maybe.
I don't know.
Try it out.
Yeah, I'll try it out.
I'll report back.
Just go, hey, I've moved the stairs.
Yeah.
Guess what I'm doing this afternoon?
Moving those stairs.
See you later, poop.
Is it a cock block for you?
BJ sleeps with you guys in the bed.
I wouldn't say it's not like a hard and fast.
I wouldn't say hard and fast in this rule, but it's like another thing to factor in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you either have to shut the door or.
Plan ahead or just.
Plan ahead.
Well, that's when you kind of go, oh, maybe I'll just take him
out the back for a walk and maybe just leave him out there.
Oh.
So you walk out and then when he's turned the other way,
you go run back inside.
Go, go, go, go, go.
Slam the door shut.
That might be my love to see it.
That might be my love to see it.
My love to see it for the day, actually,
is a comment from Rachel Hecker-Warren.
Oh, Hecker-Warren.
In our Facebook group.
Hi, Rachel.
She shared this on our You Love to See It thread in our Facebook group, which you can join at any time.
The internet is finally available in my neighbourhood.
I saw this.
And we're getting it set up tomorrow.
Do you want to reply?
Maybe you replied after I saw it.
I hadn't seen your reply when I saw this.
I didn't know there was anywhere in the world that was, like,
still waiting to be hooked up.
And then Rachel says, been waiting since 2019 for this.
Girlfriend, are you sure you haven't been waiting since 93?
When did the internet start?
This isn't a new thing.
No, it's not.
And so obviously it's either like a remote area or you know how some,
you know how like in your area you can't get NBN or whatever it is?
So maybe it's just one of those spots where it's just a bit tricky
and it's like hard to do or whatever.
We just got 5G.
That is good.
Yeah.
That is very good.
I looked at my phone and I was like, oh, I got 5G.
Oh, is that just because you got a new phone?
I don't know if it was a coincidence.
I think it's your new phone.
Really?
Because they normally give you like a month of 5G for free or something.
Oh, to fucking suck me in.
And then I go, that is good, and then I'll buy it.
Yeah, exactly right.
Oh, and they've tricked you into thinking that was your own idea.
Yeah, they've incepted me.
Yeah, so I don't get phone reception at my house, as you know.
So our internet needs to be good.
And when our internet drops off, I can't even hotspot from my phone.
And so I'm like, oh, actually, I live in the middle of Melbourne
and our reception and phone isn't great. And internet I'm like, oh, actually, I live in the middle of Melbourne and our reception and
phone isn't great.
And internet fucking drops off from time to time.
So I'm thinking that maybe Rachel isn't in a remote area at all.
Maybe she lives in my building.
Maybe she does.
Where do you live?
Oh, level three?
Yeah.
Right above me.
Yeah, cool.
Yeah.
And you're rollerblading it out a lot because I'm hearing that quite often.
I love to see that you've been waiting for it and it's here.
Yeah, that's the thing.
Wait till she hears about fucking Netflix and stuff.
Fuck, wait till she hears about Myspace.
How does she listen to this podcast?
In Myspace.
How does she listen to the pod?
Maybe 5G?
Well, she just comes into the studio and sits in the corner.
Yeah, she listens on live.
Hey, Rach, cheers for that.
Go sweat it out.
Yeah, hope you got all your love to see it run.
I do.
Because when I was collating questions about Australian food,
there were a couple of non-food Australian questions.
Oh.
Dear Australians, who is Noah Fence?
Hear you all talking about him, but no one else has heard of him.
N-O-A-H, Noah Fence.
F-E-N-C-E.
Tony.
Yeah.
Who's Noah Fence?
That is really a weird question I've never thought about before.
Oh, that shirt is shit, Noah Fence.
So it's actually no offense.
N-O space O-F-F-E-N-C-E. No offense. Right. N-O space O-F-F-E-N-C-E.
No offense.
So it's like you then it's like, oh, in America they say with all due respect.
Or I ain't going to lie.
Like if you go like with all due respect, like that shirt is shit.
Just because you say with all due respect doesn't mean that you can say something that's really horrible.
Or when people say like nothing personal.
Yeah, exactly.
that you can say something that's really horrible.
Or when people say, like, nothing personal.
Yeah, exactly.
So if you were to say to someone named Noah Fence,
Noah Fence, how would that sound?
Well, that shirt's shit, Noah Fence, Noah Fence.
You can say that. That's how you say that.
Yeah.
But why I love to say it is that someone for years
thought that was some guy.
Well, last week I talked about free-to-air TV.
Yeah.
I don't know if you saw this.
Lots of comments online that people thought we were saying
free-to-air TV.
Like that free-to-air.
Oh, free-to.
Free-to-air was like a streaming service in Australia.
And then I've said free-to-air TV is back and they're going,
oh, okay.
I'll have to Google that one.
Yeah, free-to-air.
There's the AirAsia airline and there's free to air.
Free to air.
TV streaming.
You fucking love to see that.
I love to see that.
Tomorrow on the show.
This is actually pretty fucking heavy.
I don't know if I should tell you this now because you might not be able to sleep.
I reckon it was like two in the morning.
Yeah.
And I kind of rolled over and I see Bridget just laying on her back staring at the roof.
Oh.
And I go, yeah.
Everything okay?
That's what I said.
And she goes, I haven't slept at all tonight or last night because I've done something
and I need to tell you and it's eating me up.
But like, I just want you to, even if you don't like it, just at least try and understand
where I'm coming from.
What?
Because I need to tell you this because I just can't.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, we'll get to that tomorrow.
So tomorrow on the show.
And is it called like...
I always thought a cold sweat was, like, just like a saying.
No, yeah, it's a real thing.
Yeah.
When she told me, I was like, fucking nearly died.
Oh, my God.
Mm.
OK.
Tomorrow on the show.
I'll tell you what happened.
I've got anxiety.
It's not even about me.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
You, like Bridget, will be staring at the roof tonight.
Aww. Sorry, I shouldn't have told you. And then there was a unicorn. I'm sorry. You, like Bridget, will be staring at the roof tonight. Aww.
Sorry, I shouldn't have told you.
And then there was a unicorn.
It was fun.
Yeah.
But then Pippa ran up the steps and it was fine.
Yep, yep.
All fun and games.
Love you, bye.