Toni and Ryan - Ready to get Bready
Episode Date: September 25, 2024NORMAL OR NAH and a BINGO THINGO! And an update about my living situation.... We go on about it for a while lol LOVE YOU!!!! Toni xoxooxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure ...you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.
My name is Ryan.
This is Mrs.
Doubtfire, apparently, sometimes referred to as Tony and Felicia Lodge.
Tony, if you had to guess where are the loosest approvers from in all the
time we've been doing this?
Oh, that's a really tough one.
I'll give you a clue.
I actually know.
Go for it.
I, we have had a few random ones from like Adelaide, but also Newcastle.
We're calling Newcastle Catherine Jones.
Hopefully she isn't was one.
I just was in a car crash.
Yeah, which was like quite heavy.
Well, I keep a lot of brought my heart.
Yeah. Hello.
Catherine, how are you doing?
I'm good. How are you?
We're very good. What are you up to, Catherine?
Where have we caught you? I'm on my How are you? Very good. What are you up to? Catherine? Where have we caught you? Um, I'm on my break at work
actually.
On your break. So early. What are you doing?
When did you start? Yesterday?
6.15.
6.15? Is that a time?
Yeah, I don't think so. Not in my world.
Catherine, you need to quit.
You did?
Yes, I did.
That is true.
I did. That is true.
I did.
That is true.
Catherine, historically Newcastle has been full
of loose units when it comes to approvers.
Is everything okay in Newy today?
Everything feels all right?
Yeah, it's pretty good.
I'd say my daughter's a menace.
Oh, what's her name?
Her name is Chloe and she is the artist of Apollo's portrait.
Oh my god, of the dog.
Yeah, 100%.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, tell Chloe more artwork, less being a menace to her mom.
Yeah.
That's where I think we need to be.
And you've always said that.
No, I have always said that.
I've always said that.
Oh, Catherine, will you approve today's podcast?
At so frequently.
Woohoo! I've always said that. Oh Catherine, will you approve today's podcast?
Absolutely.
Hi, this is Catherine from Newcastle and I approve this podcast. Coming up today.
Yeah, you are.
Sorry.
This might throw you.
Oh, nothing can throw me.
I'm in a great mood.
All year in Patreon, we've been doing Tony bingo and Tony doesn't know what's on the
bingo card, but as Tony does stuff and says stuff, we've been ticking it off and we have an update.
Oh, yep.
So cause the bingo is yet in Patreon and I live in Patreon quite a lot and I just
have to keep scrolling past it and I've actually, I knew that I wanted to stay away.
See something in there earlier this week?
No, no, no.
So honesty chat, I genuinely have no idea what's on there.
It is pretty easy if you want it to cheat and I respect and
commend that you haven't. Um, but yeah, some interesting news. So we'll get to that.
Oh yay.
Ah, but first this is normal or nah.
Oh, it's double no from the crew.
So.
Bingo on the no for that one. Normal or nah.
Nah, let's do normal or nah. Submit them into the Tony and nah. Nah. Let's do normal or nah.
Submit them into the Tony and Ryan Facebook group.
Let's start with Adam Gibbs.
Hi Adam.
A gibbo.
Gibsy.
Vegemite in mashed potatoes.
Adam asked normal or nah.
I've never tried that, but I would.
I love Vegemite flavored stuff.
Vegemite flavored shapes.
Uh, the fucking goat. I love Vegemite flavored stuff. Vegemite flavored shapes are the fucking goat.
I love them.
Well, I think Vegemite flavored stuff, like a Vegemite scroll.
No, no.
Yum.
Love scrolls, love Vegemite, Vegemite scrolls, no.
Now, cheesy might scroll, cheesy Vegemite from Baker's Delight can fuck me up.
Have you ever been to Baker's Delight just after they opened all the breads?
Oh, it's been warm. Yeah. I ever been to Baker's Delight just after they open all the breads? Oh, it's a bit warm.
Yeah.
I've been to Baker's Delight before and literally, like the cheese, like was oozing out still
because they'd just taken off the pan.
Can you look me in the eye again and say oozing?
Oozing.
No one oozes better than Baker's Delight.
And I've always said that.
Is that their tagline?
It will be.
Now let's send it to them.
What is Baker's that their tagline? It will be now. Let's send it to them. What is Pegasus the White tagline?
That's a song.
Sophie, do you know if Tony knows the difference between slogan and tagline?
Song!
That's their song.
What's their slogan?
Oh, there's a recent one.
This is from last year.
I don't know if you've seen it, but it's a tagline.
It's a tagline.
It's a tagline.
It's a tagline.
It's a tagline.
It's a tagline.
It's a tagline.
It's a tagline.
It's a tagline.
It's a tagline.
It's a tagline. It's a tagline. It's a tagline. It's a tag song. What's their slogan?
Oh, there's a recent one.
This is from last year. We're a bakery, not a fakery.
Surely that's not their main...
That's not the main one.
Hey, Baker's Delight, if you're listening, I can come up with a great slogan for you.
A baker day keeps the sadness away.
That's actually awesome.
That's really good. That's sick. Hello, Baker's Delight. So there's. That's actually good.
That's sick.
Hello, Baker's Delight.
So there's a Baker's Delight.
Let us bake you a smile today.
I'm writing it all down.
Can we use the word delight somehow as well?
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
We wake up every night to give you a Baker's Delight.
That sounds a bit sexy.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Am I sleeping with baker's delight?
You know how the bakers wake up at like 2 AM?
Yeah.
I'll give you a baker's delight.
Yeah, that sounds like I'm sleeping with a baker.
Yeah.
When the guy goes, oh, I've got to get up early and leave in the middle of the night
to go to the bakery.
And the wife goes, but you're an accountant.
Yeah.
Why?
Um, what are, something about a baker's dozen, cause it's like 13, the extra one.
Yeah.
Um, as an accountant, that does fuck me off. I'll give you a cream bun.
Oh no, we're going sexy now.
We're going sexy now.
This is a family bakery.
All right.
Um, always ready to get you breadie.
Yeah. Um, it's an absolute delight.
Bakers reunite.
Smiles for all, baking this fall.
Do you want to hear something real sad about Baker's delight?
No, it's actually pro-Baker's delight.
So at the Alfa market, Baker's Delight is like across the street.
And there's this guy that does breads at the market, but he doesn't bake it there.
He just like bakes it like at home.
Obviously he doesn't bake it at the market.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Well, yeah, like, who do you think I am?
So, and the guy in front of me in the line goes, smelling good today.
And he's using the smells from the Baker's Delight.
The guy in the line said that and Bill who has the bake shop, he goes, Oh, that's,
that's not me.
That's Baker's Delight across the street.
I've just got the bread.
I'm not bacon.
They're bacon.
Oh, bacon fresh to...
From Steven Naresh. And Steven Naresh does great work.
Yeah.
Should we do normal or not?
Yeah.
I love it.
You might have flavored stuff though.
So I would put that in mashed potatoes.
It would be good if you did some cheese in there as well.
Cheese, section of butter.
Stop it.
Nick DeRoz has normal or not. Hi Nick DeRoz. Stop it. Nick DeRoz has a normal enough.
Hi Nick DeRoz.
Nick DeRoz has been doing a lot of stuff in the group recently.
Has he?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
DeRoz.
We have a communal sauna in our apartment building.
Someone's doing all right.
Someone's doing very well.
And recently there have been toenails in there.
What?
Like someone's been sitting in the sauna and just like, like, you know, picking
and just like leaving nails in the sauna, a communal sauna.
Camspunal.
That's disgusting.
You wouldn't find that at Baker's Delight.
That's for sure.
Facts.
Yeah.
Nick says, I've posted in the Complex Facebook group, which we know apartment complex Facebook
groups.
They fucking pop off.
Pop off apartment groups, sis.
I posted an honest, no, no.
We all know what he's saying.
Yeah, it's all good.
But I want to try.
Cause I was born to try because I am Delta Goodrum. She wouldn't go to Baker's Delata, I think.
I think she'd be a Brumbies girl.
Or a communal.
She'd be a Brumbies girl, don't you reckon?
She also wouldn't be a girl who goes to the communal sauna in an apartment building.
She's got her own sauna, 100%.
She's doing fine.
Nick says, I've posted in our Complex Facebook group anonymously, and now there's raging
debates and people are making wild accusations.
Just someone jumping in going, I think it was the guy from 4B.
But I just reckon it was him.
Oh yeah, I get bad vibes from 4B.
Yeah.
He sounds like a toenail kind of guy.
Oh, a toenail.
Also being in the sauna, why would you want to clip your toenails?
That just doesn't sound like the nice, relaxing vibes that you would like.
And if you had a metal clipper, that would get hot.
That's such a great point.
It'd like brand you.
Go whoever's got the burnt fingertips.
They're the culprit.
Only toenails in the building.
Who's recently been to Hawaii?
That's how you'll figure it out.
Because you get some toenail clippers from Hawaii.
And that's how you work backwards.
That's Tony Lodge.
Oh, random.
Hey, a complex Facebook group.
Anyone been to Hawaii recently?
Has anyone got any YKK recommendations?
And the guy goes, yeah, I just got back into your really.
Did you get any nail cutters in the gift shop on the way out?
Show me your feet.
Finally.
How much, sorry, how would you know the difference between a fingernail and a
toenail clipping, um, with no context though?
Size.
Well, not necessarily.
New quiz.
New quiz.
How closely are you like assessing them?
Oh, you get right in there.
Oh, I wouldn't.
Okay.
If I saw a stray fingernail or toenail, if I saw a stray nail.
A nail in the wild.
A nail in the wild.
Thank you very much.
I wouldn't get close enough to assess ever.
Okay.
Here's what we're going to do on a YouTube show.
Do you know how last week we had the different lip balms?
No fucking way.
Yeah.
No fucking way.
So next week.
No.
I will clip from a thumb, from a middle finger.
No.
From a big toe and a regular toe.
No.
And you like a...
No, I'm saying no.
Like a suspect lineup at the police station.
I don't want to see your... The big toe at the police station. I don't want to see you.
The big toke that number four.
I do not want to see.
So I'm just picturing them being human sized and actually lined up like the usual suspects.
But the thing is, is that like, how come a nail, like if I was like, oh, nice nails, not weird, stray nail, weird.
Hair attached to someone, fine. A stray hair, not good.
So what we're saying is if you're attached to a human, all good.
All good.
Yeah, actually, that's the blanket rule.
Penis attached to a man, fine.
Random penis in the street, not cool.
Pfft.
What else?
Am I wrong?
Oh, no, you are right.
Yes.
But...
Someone hasn't paid their bills. What? You are right.
Someone hasn't paid their bills.
That sounds like loan shark energy.
Can't someone's pain us off.
Hey, we've had a deal.
Darren.
Hi Darren. Everyone's going to picture this in their mind as I read it out.
And I just think this is the funniest thing.
And thank you so much Darren for bringing it to my attention.
I'll be honest, my brain's pretty preoccupied with the penis in the street right now.
So I don't know if I'm available to picture other things.
Like I'm buffering still.
I know where your mind likes to go.
So I want you to imagine you driving through the country in your beautiful car
with me in the passenger seat and just how beautiful that Audi is.
You're asleep. Yep.
Like a hundred percent.
Yeah. I'm not a good companion on long drives.
No.
Does anyone else get really offended when passengers in your car hold onto the
little handle above the side window.
It's as if they're saying you're a crap driver.
I don't trust you.
I don't like you.
It is so offensive.
Or when they do the foot on the fake brake, I'm always breaking.
Why am I doing that?
I don't know.
I don't think you've ever done that in the car with me.
Maybe I haven't seen it.
Yeah.
But now the Jesus handle.
Yeah. That's what someone I went to uni with used to it. But nah, the Jesus handle. I thought, let's go home.
Yeah, that's what, someone I went to uni with used to go,
like hang on to the Jesus bar,
cause you go, oh Jesus.
But do you think when someone gets in and they go,
like pop it up, is that different to like,
when you go around the corner and they go.
A hundred percent.
Okay.
Cause just popping it up, cause that's where you're
comfortable or you know, thinking about bicep curl
or something. But Darren says, is it normal to get offended or nah? Normal, 100%. Okay. Cause just popping it up cause that's where you're comfortable or you know, thinking about bicep curl or something.
But Darren says, is it normal to get offended or not?
Normal 100%.
You're good on your dad's.
Hi, this is Catherine from Newcastle and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Over at our Patreon, if you've ever thought about maybe wanting to approve the podcast,
being part of Tony Bingo that we're about to get into, you can head over and join all
exclusive content, lots of fun stuff.
Live from DCI.
Live from DCI, a little video series we do over there, some live streams.
Check it out. It's lots of fun, but we can't do it without you. Thanks to Charlie Collins.
Good on you, Charlie. Cass McLeod. Thanks, Cass. Yeah. Good on you, Cass. Ethan Haley,
Nikki Sadler and Jack Schuster. Thank you so much for being part of the Patreon. Absolutely
love to see it. Like I said, can't do it without you. Also, we are asking for a little very
shameless favor at the moment.
If you would like to pod long over and vote for us in the listeners
choice awards for the Australian podcast awards.
Apparently you have to like, when you vote, they send you an email.
And you just hit confirm button.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So like check your junk folder because what a pain in the ass that is.
So when I was voting for myself, it goes to inbox, like for me.
So I'm hoping that doesn't go to people's spam, but it might do.
But you don't have to be Australian to vote.
I've got a couple of inboxes about that.
You can do it from anywhere in the world, but yeah, make sure that you confirm your subscription.
Confirm your vote.
Yep. Absolutely.
Now, Tony Bingo has been happening since, it was January or February, right?
At the start of the year we'd started Tony Bingo. So basically there it was January, February, the start of the year. We'd started Tony.
So basically there is on a system. I have not looked.
There is 16 things that myself and other people in Patreon decided that Tony would
probably do this year.
And we thought we'll just tick them off as we go and see how good we are.
Cause it's basically a test of did we do a good job?
Do we know Tony?
Yeah.
Do we know Tony?
And we got off to a flying start.
It was like by the other March, everyone was like, what are we going to do?
The rest of it?
Yeah.
It's over.
So I haven't actually told you I've, I've hinted at a few or kind of gone bingo,
but I've never actually sat down and gone, here's what we've ticked off.
And I'm going to do that right now.
Can I ask one question?
Yep.
I'm sure there'll be more.
And it's a controversy, but sure.
Before I even know anything, is a bingo ticking off all of them or
ticking off a line like in bingo?
So there is four lines of four.
So that's 16 and we want all 16.
Oh, you're ticking off all 16.
Oh, okay.
So I thought that a bingo, you know how you standard bingo is just a lie. We want them all.
You don't just want a line.
No, we've got three, five lines.
Nice.
Thank you.
Let's just run through them.
Doing well.
Tony will claim that Taylor Swift's ears tour changed her life.
That did happen.
Yeah, that did happen.
Someone said Torb's got his license.
I reckon she'll become a passenger princess.
No way!
Word for word! And you said it like the day after. Yeah. That did happen. Yeah. Yeah. That did happen. Someone said, Torb's got his license. I reckon she'll become a passenger princess.
No way. Word for word.
And you said it like the day after and the Patreon just popped off.
We're like, what? Fucking here we go.
That actually, that is insane.
That's a great one.
Complains about fucked facts. Correct.
Yeah. I mean, that was a fucking gimme.
Tony will talk about the
espresso from dome, the cafe, the coffee chain in Perth. That doesn't count. That's like saying,
Oh, Tony won't say how she is. Like it's as I live and breathe. It's a specific drink from one
chain of restaurants that I talk about once a week. That's not on the same side of the country
that you're in. What you got me?
I don't think that should count because that's like, oh, Tony will breathe this year.
Tony will.
Tony will claim she'll start doing home renovations or improvements. She didn't just claim it.
She did it. And the dining table looks sick.
Oh, does that count?
Yeah.
Buying furniture?
No home renovations or improvements.
It's not buying furniture.
I bought furniture.
That was built in by Benny, who we got to know and love on the show.
Yeah, we did.
Yeah.
He's a good guy.
Now, the reason why I brought this up this week.
I don't know if that counts.
Besides.
Though I did just do the blinds.
Yeah.
Would that count?
Well, yeah, but you've done, you've. I don't know if the bench seat counts, though I did just do the blinds, would that count?
Well, yeah, but you've done... I don't know if the bench seat counts, does it?
Building in a booth is the definition of home improvements.
Your house is improved.
If there's builders in your house.
Yeah. Yeah.
And Tony says you'll talk about doing a new hobby.
I mean,
Oh, another one that is like the Dome of Spresky.
Um,
is the Pope.
Find out more lies her mother told her.
And after the, the Nesquik strawberry milk saga, until then, it like Liz was
going strong and truthful, but the Nesquik really.
God, imagine though, the whole time you're waiting for that last bingo.
And it was just that one.
It was like, well, she's dead.
So no more lies can happen.
I can find out, but like no more can happen.
And God, wouldn't you have felt like an asshole?
Yeah.
Like luckily that one has been ticked off.
Claims an Olympic sport isn't that hard and that she could probably do it.
I do that all the time.
God, I'm really quite a fucking yeah.
And this was recent, uh, says ding dong and you have done such a good job.
And I quote last week, you said ding dong. Oh, I'm not supposed to say that.
Oh, I'm having a tough week.
Well, and she actually felt that was the anniversary of my mom's death.
And people felt the, I think a few comments on YouTube were like, Oh, how
cute, cause you was like straight away.
You're like, Oh, it's just like, I deserve one.
Like all good.
Well, I mean, of all the ones to appeal that feels like the one, cause I
was having a really tough day.
Oh, but this isn't saying like, like this just, yeah, just said the word.
No, but I'm saying I'd like to appeal it.
I should get a second chance at Ding Dong.
OK.
And that doesn't count.
Ryan compliments her and she cries.
Well that doesn't happen.
That did earlier in the year, but I think it's been a while.
Probably should have another crack at that.
She wore jeans again after saying she's not wearing jeans again. Tick talks about getting a dog. Shout out to Pierre. Um, a second
dog talks about getting another dog. You remember Pierre?
Oh, I didn't talk about that on the show though.
Livestream.
Oh, did I?
Yeah.
Oh, I didn't get, I didn't get a dog though.
Talk, it specifically says talks about getting a second dog.
I often think about Pierre.
I have thought about him as well. How is he doing?
I don't know.
I like, I don't know.
I thought we were getting another dog in our lives.
We?
Torpe said no.
That's cute.
Pipa's an only child and she likes it.
She actually is an only dog.
Like.
Yeah.
Now there are two, there's two, there's only two left.
Oh, what?
So there's only two more ticks of the box to complete bingo. And I need to ask you
about one of them. There's one last thing on the thing that isn't going to
accidentally happen. And I'm going to lead you to it against your will. I want
you to take the power back of bingo and say, yeah, I'm going to fucking do that.
No, I don't want to cause then you have bingo.
What does getting bingo mean?
It just, it doesn't mean anything.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's not like me versus you.
No, no, no.
I know that, but it's more like, what do it like?
Yeah.
Am I fighting a losing battle here?
You're like, oh, we want you to turn the power back.
Then I do it and you go, ah, you're going to give me a car or something.
I know I thought there wasn't anything involved, but do you want to know the one in contention
or the powerful final moment?
And the one in contention is not really contention.
I just can't remember if it's happened or not.
I think it has, but I just can't remember.
I don't know.
I don't.
Okay.
So one of the, remember when we worked at the other place, we, we together went
through a bit of a phase where we were just like fucking breaking chairs every second day.
Do you remember that?
Like together, like they were just shit chairs and every time we got up and sat
down a fucking wheel had pop and has a chair broken in 2024.
Ooh, I don't, yeah, I don't, I didn't, cause if someone's like, I think it did,
but I'm like, I don't know.
I don't think it ha, well it would definitely hasn't happened here.
We bought very good quality chairs.
Yeah.
Um, I actually, I don't think it has any fact, I built a whole chair in my home to improve
it.
So negative.
So I win the, I win the bingo.
So, um, yeah, like I said, I wasn't sure.
I actually don't think, and that's not me being a dick about like, I don't want to
lose the bingo. I actually don't think we have.
I don't think so either.
We've got such good quality furniture.
If there's one thing we excel at here at Top Tower is the purchasing of quality chairs.
Quality materials, quality.
Yeah. When you buy a chair from Tony and Ryan.
You buy a guarantee and that guarantee is quality.
So if push comes to shove, we could like pretend we're in WWE and just like go
smack some chairs around smash a chair.
Yeah.
But he is the last one.
So this is the powerful one.
This is the powerful one.
And I feel like, like we want to do this.
We together.
The last bingo is you buy me Nando's.
The last one is actually goes stand up paddle boarding and stands up on the paddle board.
And I think it's time and for no other reason, maybe, than just to shut me the fuck up.
Wouldn't it be great if you and I together went out there and fucking got up on the SUP?
I would, yeah, I would definitely do it.
I live really far from the water now, was one of the things that-
That's what I mean.
So we're going to have like, let's book it in, let's commit.
Um, and it's also quite cold at the moment.
Yeah.
So it-
Oh, we're coming into spring, we're coming into summer.
But like I'm just saying-
We've got the rest of the year?
I'm just saying, yeah, we've like, I would love, but it's not about not wanting to
do it as in not wanting to achieve it.
Yeah.
It's more, it was the admin remember.
Well that's what I'm saying.
Yeah, like if we actually-
Can I take some admin off?
Yeah.
Can we book, like if this, if we decide-
Yeah. Cause you go, if I get around to it, you know, but if we decide,
I only have one stand up paddle board. So we'd have to share. What do you mean?
Didn't Torbz have one? No. Oh, I'm thinking of the treadmill.
Yeah. No, I've got two treadmills. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. To keep up. Um,
I thought he had to, Oh no. We bought Melissa. We bought Melissa. Yeah. To keep up. Um, I thought he had to, Oh no.
We bought Melissa. We bought Melissa. Yeah. I stand up paddle boarding. Yeah. I knew that was the second one. I wonder if she's used it.
No, it's something you buy and you don't use.
Yeah. What am I not getting about this?
The trend is to buy it and not use it.
Tony, should we go stand up paddle boarding together?
I just feel severely ated by this.
And I don't think that you actually do want what's best for me.
I think that you're just being, it's just like a way of you bringing this up.
Don't bring Carla into this.
Don't beat that.
Sophie, if you beat that, you're deducted.
You're adapting the beep that hasn't happened.
No, if you, if you beat that, you're fired, reducted.
I didn't threaten you. Tell me with 100% sincerity that you want the best for me. Well, remember before I'm like, if for no other reason, you can just shut me the fuck up.
But I don't care about shutting you up. I want to be shut up sometimes.
But I don't care about shutting you up. I do things that I want to do.
I want to do it because I want to do it. Not because you're literally leading this horse to water.
Um, you think I'm a horse?
So what I'd spoken to Sophie about was one of many options.
Yeah.
Uh, one was maybe we go away and spend a night down the coast.
That sounds really fun.
Yes, let's do that.
Oh no, that sounds so fun.
Oh, that actually does sound really fun.
We're doing that.
Yeah, yeah.
So I was like, why don't we make it
like a cute thing out of it?
That's so fun.
Yeah, she fucking changed her tune, haven't ya? Yeah. She's, she fucking changes, you know? Yeah. Yeah.
Try to do something nice.
There's a holiday lock.
Try to do something nice around here.
Getting accused of shit.
Horses are involved somehow.
Wait till you see the mood board.
There's a mood board.
There's a mood board?
You know how, okay.
This is a test.
This is a test of our friendship.
Okay.
Sorry, I'm back on board.
Love you.
Thank you. Love you. We're holding hands. Ooh, your hands feel smooth. They're a test of our friendship. Okay. Sorry, I'm back on board. Love you.
Thank you.
Love you.
We're holding hands.
Ooh, your hands feel smooth.
Yours, they're a bit clammy.
Hair products.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I thought that's good.
Yeah, and I jizzed in them.
Pfft.
Yeah, and I just was jerking off before.
All right.
Sorry.
This is a test for Tony and I's friendship,
but I reckon you'll actually probably nail it.
I will.
If I've got like five minutes of downtime
or I just want like a mental reset, what website will I go to? Realestate.com.au or Airbnb.
You've, I was about, Realestate.com would be first. Second would be Airbnb. I know. And I'm
going to preempt the next question. What is that place that you want to go? That the tower with
the big bridge, that house with the big fucking?
Yeah, areas in that I love that place what I have done
Is create because Sophie and I've been working on this and I actually don't like working on stuff without you
It's annoying because I want to like show you stuff. I don't look outside
Yeah, I've created it
I don't know when you save it or your heart it at, or you create a wish list or whatever. Oh, and you like on Airbnb, you know how you call it, like our trip.
Yeah.
And you, it just feels so fun.
So I've got, where could we stand up paddleboard?
And I've found beach houses.
I found little cabins by lakes.
I found a houseboat in lakes entrance where we could step.
A houseboat?
Yeah.
It's amazing. It's amazing. So I want to move into a houseboat. Yeah. It's amazing.
It's amazing.
So I want to move into the houseboat.
What is the logistics of stepping off a boat onto a stand up paddleboard?
So this is what we've chatted about because when you step off,
it's way easier to get on, but it's also way easier to fall back and crack your skull.
And so frozen concrete.
The standing up, I'm actually not scared about.
It's getting up.
No, because I surfed and I've got amazing core strength from Pilates.
When you're in the water.
Like I actually, I don't think that standing up would be a problem at all.
So what's the pro, what's the hard bit?
Cause I've tried it.
It's not as easy as it looks.
No, I reckon I'd be really good at it.
If it was an Olympic sport, I'd absolutely smash it.
Bingo again.
Cause when I tried it, it was, it was a bit choppy and wavy and that made it a lot
harder because, but a houseboat, cause it's in like a bit of a Harbor thing.
Yeah.
It's flat and smooth.
I mean that you need for stand up paddle boarding.
It's a cove activity.
It's not really an ocean.
That's what I'm talking about.
So what we want or what about if it's like a dam or lake cause it had no ocean
a bit covered.
Cause you remember that when I did go that time, there'd just been that oil spill Or what about if it's like a dam? Oh, dam would be good. Because you get no ocean, a bit covered.
Because you remember that when I did go that time, there'd just been that oil spill.
Oh no, fuck yeah.
And that was why I didn't want to stand up because I was like, I'm definitely going to fall in and the water's fucking disgusting.
And there was all the boats around. So I was like, there's like diesel.
Like it was fucking rank. So I'm like, this isn't the time to try this.
But I paddled around and my fucking legs were so sore from being on my knees that long.
Yeah, right on man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're like, oh doctor, I'm not used to it.
She paddles to fucking Tasmania.
It's not the longest thing I've had on my knees this year.
So is now when we go to Tasmania.
We go to Tasmania to stand up paddle board.
We're not going to stand up paddle board to Tasmania,
but we could go to Tasmania with the paddle
and then do it again.
But we're not like baby step.
Different trip.
I've never done it before.
What's our first trip?
We're going across the ocean.
Yeah, we're traveling across the ocean.
So here's what I'm picturing.
Okay.
This is just the ultimate, the tarpas know Tony and Tony knows the tarpas
with no other instruction.
They've been able to say, this is what I believe our girl's going to get up to.
And then finally on out of, we step out of a beautiful houseboat slash
cabins slash apartments slash fucking beach house.
Yacht.
Can we get a yacht?
No, that feels treacherous.
I don't think I want a yacht.
Could we be pirates?
You're so far up out of the water, which is so creepy to me.
Not if you're below deck.
I'll be...
Don't, don't, don't.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then you come gliding across the body of water on your stand up paddleboard
and proudly pronounce to the world.
I'm a super suck girl.
Bingo.
I'm like, what's my slogan going to be?
I haven't thought about it.
Baker's Delight.
Baker's Delight.
And I suck across and go, can I have a Vegemite scroll?
And I go, wake up at night for another delight, which I believe was one of the
things that we came up with.
Yep.
Wake up for a delight at Baker's delight with Airbnb.
Go for a sup.
Um, can I bring my pup?
Pippa and I could stand up paddleboard together.
Huge.
And Pierre?
Pierre's a cute as fuck French bulldog that looked like he was born to be a little brother
to Pippa.
And he was like three years, he was a bit older and needed to be rehomed and he was
a real sweetheart.
And he said, I'm just looking for a lovely lady to take care of me.
He gives good cuddles.
I think it was like just before we were going away or something and I was like, oh, we wouldn't
be able to, anyway, Pierre chat is separate pop logistics chat.
However, do you obviously details and logistics?
Love the idea.
Absolutely love it.
And I'm wet for life.
Imagine how much swimming we could get done.
How long are you going to go for?
Should we take a week off and go down?
Just just be wet for a whole week.
Can I show you that sounds so fun?
You know how normally when we talk about a brand tapes, I'm like, oh, this is not sponsored.
Airbnb on board because they could climb aboard my SUP.
Do you know what I would do?
If Airbnb interested in getting onto my SUP, you know how pro surfers have like the brand
stickers on their, on the nose of their surfboard?
I will, with a Sharpie,
write Airbnb on the end of my standup paddleboard. Does Airbnb being on board
on the sub standup paddleboard affect how long we get to go for?
Cause maybe. Yeah. Okay. Cause they go, Oh, we'll put you up for a night and you go, cool. So I'll
be there for three weeks and they go, I'd love to stay. Let me show you this houseboat.
So I'll be there for three weeks and then go well. Yes, I'd love to stay.
Let me show you this houseboat.
What on earth?
But not earth on sea?
I don't know if it's available or we can do it or whatever,
but is that just not the most fucked thing you've ever seen?
Is that a real place?
Oh, look at that bathroom.
Look at that bath.
It's an amber bath at see-through.
What?
And you've got your own little dark like on the edge.
Oh my Lanta.
Is that not designed for us,
the modern standup paddle boarder?
I'm buying a boat.
That's not what I thought you were just going.
I'm buying a boat.
No, stay with me.
What better way is there for me to be wet for life
if I live on a houseboat.
Yes. Yes.
I'm buying a fucking houseboat.
Can I bring some off air chat onto the show? I'm buying a fucking boat.
Can I bring some off air chat onto the show? Yes.
Because of the time of the year, it's time that in Australia,
everyone goes and chats with their accountant.
And I said to Tony, is there like a finance plan for the next year?
And he goes, I'm not sure yet.
Do we know our, our,
we've just found it.
Cause what's the only thing better than having a boat.
I'm mate with a boat.
And I could be that mate.
I could be that mate.
Look at these guys having a part.
Look at these hot people on the thing.
These are hot people getting married on a houseboat.
They're getting married on the boat.
Look at that.
Oh my, they are getting married on a houseboat? They're getting married on the boat, look at that. Oh my, they are getting married on a boat.
I'm never going on land again.
Is this what the mirror of Erised from Harry Potter
and I'm actually seeing my future?
What if-
Am I about to get married on a houseboat?
If you have a houseboat and you and Torb's-
It's just the best day of my life.
If you and Torb's don't get married on a houseboat,
where would you, like why? Don't your uncle and auntie on a houseboat, where would you, like, why?
Don't your uncle and auntie have a houseboat?
Give me their number.
I'll fucking hit them up for some info.
Yeah.
They would love to, they would actually love nothing more in their lives than to talk houseboats
with you.
Ryan told me this story about one day that they, yeah, because they're on the lake and
they go, oh, we're going over for dinner at like bloody ding and dongs over
the road.
And I'm allowed to say that because the bingo is done.
Yeah.
That they go over to ding and dongs and they stand up paddle
board to ding and dongs with a salad in their hand.
Yeah.
Cause auntie Sally's that confident on a stand up paddle
board.
She goes, yeah, I'll fucking board over there.
Like six slar with a fucking slat in it.
Nah, she's six slat.
Yeah.
In a good way.
That's my auntie.
Not derogatory.
Okay.
Like a hot slat.
I tell you what I've seen.
On a stand up paddleboard.
I tell you what I've-
Sup slat.
That's what our boat's gonna be called.
Dad's naming boats.
This is the greatest day of our lives.
Yeah it is.
How come everything from the podcast is all intertwining in this one conversation?
Because we all live on the same planet.
It's because we are meant to be on a fucking houseboat.
I've seen Sally from two houseboats down, go did any of you girls want a coffee?
And then have a tray of flat whites.
One hand with the tray.
The other thing of the thing.
And she's got the dog on there as well.
Cruising around.
Is she fully clothed?
Yeah.
So she's just that.
Cause I thought it was what, cause I'm not that's don't have to say links.
And, uh, but that's just practice.
Yeah.
And Bridget and I move on to the houseboat.
Yeah.
You'll get so confident cause you'll be there all the time.
We could record the podcast on my houseboat.
Is our new studio a houseboat?
My other houseboat.
The more we talk about them, I love it.
The more we talk about the more I hate that we haven't done it already.
Why are we not doing that?
Why are we on land?
This is the unprecedented third option is living on the sea.
Living at sea.
Sea dogs.
We'll be sea dogs.
You, me, Bron and Pip, just dogs on the sea.
What a great day.
Hang on.
Sorry.
Can I come?
No.
Who said that?
Your dump slut.
No, you are welcome. Nah, no. Who said that? Your dump slut. No, you are welcome.
Nah, so just make sure your son Otis has a life jacket.
Cause I'll get one for Mabel and I've actually already got one.
He's getting his boat license.
Oh, I actually have had my skipper's ticket in the past.
So it'd be easy for me to get it.
And you brought the Darian.
Why have I had my skipper's ticket?
It's not important.
Why do you have a boat license?
But yeah, back in the day.
Do you actually? Yeah, that's. important. Why have you, why do you have a boat license? But yeah, back in the day.
Yeah, that's yeah.
Cause my family, boat family.
I think I have a boat license because of Sally and Peter.
Yeah.
And I think when you-
It's quite easy to get your skipper's ticket to be fair.
Yeah.
Cause in W.A. it is anyway.
Oh no, I think you sit the test and you kind of go, I don't know the answer.
Hey mate, what's number four?
And the guy goes, I'll just make sure you're right.
And then you just have to like pull the boat into the dock and they go, sweet.
But that's all you have to be able to do.
I don't think we had to do that.
He just feel like you have to be able to fucking like zing it around.
And then anyway, I've got to love to say, but do we need to love to say,
I actually might.
You'll have to say it pales in comparison to what we're talking about.
It can be I've discovered who I am.
Well, that is my love to say it is that like my ultimate fantasy is living on a houseboat.
And I didn't know that that existed until about six minutes ago.
Question. Question.
Would you like to be like at Lake's entrance or somewhere like that?
Or some people live like at the docklands on the water, like in the city.
Oh, wow. I didn't even think about that.
Like people do this like they're and they live a regular normal city life,
but they live on the water.
Is that crazy? Yeah.
Can you get internet on the lifeboat?
Uh, houseboat.
It was Titanic.
Oh no.
You guys, the ultimate homage to the RMS Titanic.
Will your houseboat have a maiden name?
Christian name you mean?
Yeah.
The RMS Titanic.
The RMS.
The maiden name.
RMS.
RMS dad's boat.
Before my boat gets married.
It used to be a dinghy, but now he's a full grown married boy.
Used to be a tug, now he's a yacht.
Used to be a tuggy bird, now he's a yacht.
Everywhere he goes he knows where he came from.
I'm going to have to say it from Sue.
Hi Sue.
If you can't think of a word, just say, I forgot the English word for that.
That way people will think you're smart and bilingual
instead of just being a fucking idiot.
You could do that.
I love that.
I love to say that.
I forgot the English word.
How pretentious though.
Yeah, I know.
Like you know when a friend of yours goes to France
for two weeks and they come back and they go,
oh, how many euros is it?
And you're like, and they're like,
oh, sorry, I'm still on French time.
Yeah, I could be like that.
I have been like that.
Yeah, you would. 100%. Cause everything's my personality. As you know, I'm now living French time. Yeah. I could be like that. I have been like that. Yeah. 100%.
Yeah.
Because everything's my personality.
As you know, I'm now living on a houseboat.
It doesn't take me long to to cross over.
Anyway.
Oh my God.
What a great day.
We're going to be on a houseboat.
Melbourne.
I love our house.
I live on a boat in the dark lands.
Ask me anything.
Things are really just all coming together. I love our house. Maybe I'll grab a- I live on a boat in the dark lands. Ask me anything. Oh, oh.
Things are really just all coming together. Do you think that Torbz would live on a houseboat?
I haven't really considered him.
I thought about me and I thought about Pippa,
but I haven't really thought about Torbz.
Can you get the internet on a houseboat?
100%.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, cause that would be the biggest concern obviously. It would be getting internet. Wi-Fi. Yeah. Well. Yeah. Cause that would be the biggest concern. Obviously it's
good. It would be getting. Yeah. Well, you're not like, you don't have to be like at sea the whole
time. You mean like docked and like, you know, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But imagine on Sunday going,
should we just fucking take her out? But also imagine though, like I live at the docklands on
a houseboat. Right. Yeah. And then I just like cycle into town because I've got my bike, obviously.
The best possible version of Tony Lodge is just like flowering in front of us.
Isn't it actually? Because I get to be outside, I get fresh air all the time.
All right, crazy question. And I forgot that we're still on a podcast because we're just
talking shit about houseboats. I'm sorry that if this is not what you signed up for.
Do any tarpas live on the sea?
Oh, yeah.
There's so many tarpas.
Surely one lives on a houseboat, lives on a yacht, has done something because we have questions.
Do you know what I've just realised?
All this time.
Give me your hand.
We've been leading to this moment.
And you know why?
Why?
Because for three years, you've been calling me the captain of the ship.
And it's coming to fruition.
I have to do something really awful today.
I have to tell something really awful today.
I have to tell the landlord of our office that we're breaking the lease.
Unless he can put this on the water. On the water?
We're water dogs now.
The captain of the ship.
Fuck me right up.
Why?
You know what I mean?
If I never see dry land again.
I know that I'm free.
I'm fucking crazy, but I am free.
I actually think I need to go and have a little cry.
Same, this is amazing.
Because this is the best travel.
This is how-
I'm gonna live on this too.
I haven't felt like this since the day I met Bridget.
Oh, that's really sweet. Yeah.
You'd leave her behind for the ocean.
Yeah, I don't think she would be up for this.
And that's fine.
That's her call.
That's her call.
We had a great 10 years.
Oh my God.
Okay, I don't know.
Do we lay down?
Do we kiss? I don't know. I really lay down? Do we kiss?
I don't know.
I really don't know, but we've got to finish the podcast because I think it's been going
for quite some time.
Um, love you so much.
Fuck.
From Baker's Delight to Houseboats, we've got it all.
Love ya.
Maybe that's their slogan.
We've got to roll.
We're on a roll.
Fuck.
Yeah. Love you so much. Roll could work. I could make sour We're on a roll. Fuck. Yeah. Love you so much.
A roll could work.
I could make sourdough on a boat.
Like, you just do like your own day to day things every day,
but you're on a fucking boat.
On a scale, like how's your life going on a scale from terrible to making sourdough on a boat?
Like, and what isn't made better by being at sea?
Oh, fuck, I've got to do my taxes.
But I'm doing it on my computer on a boat.
I don't have to do my taxes
because I live in international waters.
I might ask the accountant about that.
Yeah. Yeah.
The legalities around that.
I just dock out a bit further that week.
You can't touch me.
You can't get me.
It's like when they do it in voice.
That sounds like land people shit.
On your tax thing, it has to include like your longitude and latitude.
So it changes all the time every time.
And when people ask for my address, I just write boat.
And if it's meant to find me, it will.
Yeah.
I live at number two, the ocean. Good luck to Australian posts with that one.
They already suck.
More likely to fucking come through that
than the other way.
Imagine if it did.
It can't get to your place down the road
from the post office, but it can find you.
It can find me at the sea.
Probably because they throw all the parcels
into the ocean. They just start flowing into my little dock.
And I go, oh my God.
There's that thing I ordered five years ago.
Also in international waters,
there's no such thing as defamation.
So, all good.
All right. Love you. Bye.
Love you.
Ahoy!
Where could we find you from tomorrow?
You will never know.
I'll be wearing swimmers.
Swimmers.
Love you, bye.
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