Toni and Ryan - Ridiculous Lies People Got Away With

Episode Date: January 9, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] welcome to FRIIIIIIDAAAYYYYYYY very fun - new title for 'live googling' hahahaha love you! xooxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur bestselling Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. An absolute pleasure to be here. Thank you so much for having me. I always wanted to be on this podcast. Really excited. Let's call bunny who's in Illinois. It's not that bunny before you ask funny bunny. Hi, I'm a Google virtual assistant recording this call for the person you're trying to reach before I try to connect you can ask what you're calling about. Tony and Ryan approval. Hello. Bunny, you have to apologize.

You owe me an apology. I just had to talk to a robot. I had to talk to a Google assistant and I don't know what just happened. And they said, tell us what you are calling about. I was like, Tony and Ryan approval. Yeah. I don't know if Google knows what a Tony and Ryan approval is when they say, what is this call regarding? I don't think that if you hadn't have picked up, Bunny, that they would have patched us

through. I'll be honest. I think we might have been marked as spam. What's funny is the number came up with a bunch of one. So it was like, wait, hold on. Yeah, we are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. I think we might have been marked as spam. What's funny is the number came up with a bunch of ones.

So it was like, wait, hold on. Yeah, we are Morse code. But we're also number one. Does that make sense? Yeah, number one. Number one. Exactly. Exactly.

Bunny, you've written here, I may cry, but don't take it personally because I cried everything. But I just want to add that you're holding up quite well. Yeah, you're doing great. I am freaking out. I'm so excited. Hang on. Hang on. Are we still on with the Google assistant? Is he still here? Is that what's going on here? This isn't Bunny at all. I don't know the emotions. Will you approve this podcast? I absolutely will. Great. Great. Thank you, Google. Maybe Bunny, maybe Google, when I'm sure.

Who's to say? Hi, my name is Bunny. I'm from Plainfield, Illinois and I approve this podcast. I don't want any conspiracies, even though it'll probably do well for the YouTube numbers. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Toni has recently been immunized and is a bit wacky. She's a bit fun today. Now I'm not a doctor.

I am. So, legally, legally, I could obviously speak to this. I feel like it has made me a bit wacky. Is it kind of like the day I had a Barocca and a Hydro Light together? It is a bit like that. Is that what they put in? I think so. It was fizzy when she did it. I feel like, because I had one in both arms, like two, one, one.

Yeah. So it's how else would you get it in both arms? I didn't want it to sound like she went, I'll do half here, half here. And it will start working quicker. Like they'll meet in the middle. You know what I mean? How else would you get one in each arm? If not that combination.

You know what I mean? Yeah. And also when she said I'll do one at each time, I was like, so you're going to go no, no, I'm actually a doctor. So I thought I would ask. Uh, and, oh sorry. That's amazing reception that I've got here. 5G off the Richter.

I did say I'll do my own research first. Obviously I did ask when you said you were getting the jobs, if you done your own research, Ryan, I'm not doing any work right now because I'm at the camera. Anyway, getting some backseat. Yeah. All good though. And she goes, Oh, so where are you off to? Like, she is really excited.

She thought that I was getting that I could travel to Peru. Yeah. I recently watched Paddington and, um, and I was like, I was like, Oh, no, it's cause I have psoriasis and I could see the mental maths of mumps jab. Psoriasis. Like I could just see the two things really not adding up. And I was like, I don't have any immunity. I'm about to start immunosuppressants.

In the medical industry. Yeah. You should either know the answer to that or be no to not ask. Well, yeah, it was like, I guess maybe a strange combination. So it turned out I had no immunity to hepatitis B or measles, mumps rubella. And so I had to get those two, not at the same time, but yeah. Are they not into efficiency? Yeah, I know.

Well, measles, mumps through Bella, that's all one. So I was like, can you just throw the hepatitis in? And they said, that's not how it works. Surely. How good is that? Yeah. Do both sides. Anyway, no.

So this one feels like this is the measles side. Yep. This is hepatitis. So I mean, your side's really sore. My hepatitis has really given me some grief today. So is it more chance that you get hepatitis on the other side then? Yeah. Cause I'm not immunized on the other side, but this is the side where my heart is.

So I'm, I'm reckoning on be immunized to that sooner. Yeah. Cause it's, you know, it's popping around. You've got a heart of gold, Tony Lodge. I've got a heart of hep. Oh, is that what that is? I don't know. Today on the show.

Have you ever told a straight up bold face lie and gotten away with it? No, I can't lie. I'm terrible at it. I've definitely told lies and then not gotten away with it. Cause people go, well, that's not true. And I go, you're right. So my question is for someone yourself, uh, a traditional people, please. What a diss that is such a day.

No, but like the thing of people, please. And like, I'll tell them what I want to hear, even if it, so is that, that's like a, it's a nice lie, but it's still not, it's kind of lying a little bit. Right. It's still lying. It's a good intention lie. Um, and I think that's when nice lie, but it's still not, it's kind of lying a little bit, right? It's still lying. It's a good intention lie. Um, and I think that's when I go, well, you know, um, that's probably because you are mostly an honest person, but there's times where you go, you

okay and go, yeah, I'm fine. And you go, well, you're not being honest now. Obviously not. Yeah. Cause I'm not good at being honest as in like speaking my truth. Yeah. Well, that's the definition of honesty. But like, so if someone said to me like, Oh, how did that go?

And I wanted to protect them. Yeah. I would try my best. Yeah, that's fine. If someone was like, how can I improve to make your life easier? I go, no, that's fine. I would never ever say anything. Yeah.

Cause you're a liar. But trying this year in for 2025, like, I can't remember what I said. It was only Monday. The vaccines. Oh my God. My brain's falling away like wet cake. Miranda, who listens to this show is a liar. Liar.

A Hartley Noah. That's what the episode's called. Did you already know? I failed an intro to chemistry class and I was too in... She's not heard you in my vaccines, was it? I hope not. I bloody hope not. And then I got a job at the local chemist in Preston and

jab-choneyed two at once. I failed an intro to chemistry class and I was too embarrassed to tell my parents, especially as they were paying for college and also they would need to pay for like the redo. And it was one of those like you need to take a few little intros off to, you know, get started. And also because you go, I really tried and I would still, you know. So the following semester I tried again, but I told my parents I was doing intermediate chemistry as I'd already passed the intro one, because you know, I get home with the chemistry books and, oh, okay.

And the beaker and they go, oh, beautiful. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Intermediate. Great. What are you brewing? Great. I failed again.

Miranda, we can't maybe do something else. Well, so in the US in the first year or or so there's like, you need to do a science and an English, it's not like she's doing a science degree, but you just kind of like need to tick a few boxes. So she was partying first few years of college. She was like giving it a, Oh yeah, that beaker had vodka in it. Yeah, absolutely.

So for a third time, or as her parents thought, advanced chemistry was done in semester three of her being there. And she finally passed chemistry. Congratulations. It took me six years to finish my four year degree. I told Miranda's parents a lot, sweetheart, you're very good at chemistry. Yeah. You've done advanced chemistry.

I don't mind. If you're doing a chemistry degree and she's like, oh no, I'm just a bit too good at it. So I might like leave it. But I really enjoyed it. So I thought I'd do three semesters. It took six years to finish my four year degree. And I told my parents, it was like, just cause of the timetable and schedules and stuff didn't quite work out. So

cause of the time difference. She's moved from the East coast to the West coast. She's like, Oh, you know, it's very scientific, which I would understand having done three years of fucking chemistry. If anyone wants to know, it's Miranda. And Miranda says my parents totally bought it. Turns out being a dumb runs in my family. Beat that. Cause you can say shit cup, not dumb.

Nice. Congratulations, Miranda. Proud of you. I think is that live? Would you consider that harmless? Well, it cost them tens of thousands of dollars and wasted the education systems time while she was drinking, as I believe a doctor said, vodka out of a beaker.

Yeah. But that's scientific. Yeah. Okay. Oh, well now I'm in split personality about that. Lail. Hi Lail. Lail, Lail.

What is it? It was actually, Sophie and I looked at this earlier. It was written in like not English scribe and we had to do a lot of translating and that's where I've got to. Okay. Or is that the Lyle? Maybe that's huge. When I was 13 years old, I wasn't allowed to wear makeup. Cool.

Except for Halloween, I did a grunge type costume and mom let me wear eyeliner. That is massive. I remember the first time I was allowed to wear eyeliner as well. It was a huge day and I bought it from the chemist in Armidale for 75 cents out of the bargain bin. Still probably got it. Still probably got that pencil somewhere. Every night for two weeks, I'd put more eyeliner on before bed and I'd wake up and

I'd be like, Oh mom, what's going on? I can't get it off. It's crazy. I'm going to just have to go to school. I this looks crazy out of you. I thought I was such a rebel. When I was in college, I was telling mom about this, finally revealing the truth. My mom just laughed and said, you were 13 feeling a lot of feelings.

So I thought I'd just let you have that one. That's a nice thing from mom, I think. Yeah. She's lucky it didn't end with like an eye infection. I thought, look, especially before bed feels like if you sleep in makeup and stuff, it just can like, fuck you right up. Oh, good on you, Layel. I think that's harmless.

Okay. I think that's good. Tony's going to love and hate this. I love it. And I hate it. But. This is from Bella Sava. Bella Sava. Oh, you got Bella Smonen or Bella Sava? That's a really Australian joke.

No one else has guessed. Did you, have you watched La Palma on Netflix? No. No one else had to get up. Did you, have you watched the Palmer on Netflix? No, but I watched the trailer and I'm like, that looks good. I reckon the trailer is probably the highlight. Okay. Yeah, I have seen it. And it's awesome. Yeah.

The trailer looked really good. Yeah. But it was, um, Like a lot of shit happens when you're like, Oh, I don't know if I like anyone in that show. There's probably two people I like. They make some decisions and you go, well, if you were being swallowed by a volcano, this is a long fucking drink for a short time.

You guys going to the UMP? All good. If you're being chased from the volcano from the, with ballast lava, um, you wouldn't make the decisions. Some of those characters made like you just wouldn't. So did you Bella's hate the show? Did you Bella's love? I was Bella impartial.

Bella's lava. My boss was lying to me. I was given a promotion, but they kept delaying it and delaying the pay rise for months. So one day I just made up a lie. I've been offered another job with a pay rise and I'm going to take it. Would you believe they were able to formalize the new role, the new new salary that day? That. the pay rise and I'm going to take it. Would you believe they were able to formalize the new role, the new salary that day? That is a bit tricky because imagine if it didn't work.

And they go, Oh, congratulations. They go, Oh, it's so sad to see you go. Yeah. And you go, Oh no, but I love it here though. And they go, okay. It's a dangerous little game. But imagine, fuck. Congratulations though, on them formalizing it straight away. What do you think of the move?

You nervous about it? I wouldn't do it. Not too much of a risk. Cause yeah, what if they go, oh, well here's a full scat box for all your things. It's been wonderful having you here. Yeah. This guy will walk you out. Yeah.

Like Johnny from downstairs from reception will fucking help you with that. And, um, your keys to the car park don't work all right. Like we've already deactivated your file, but you can't get in the lift. We actually can't even leave. So you live here now. Congrats on the new job. Hope it's remote. You work from their boardroom. Using their internet still. Finally, Ashani.

Hi, Ashani. Hi, Ashani. In my Australian primary school year, I like the whole year of class and stuff, there are only five Indian students, so Ashani and four others. And we were for all different parts of India. But one day a teacher asks, oh, do you all know each other from India? Oh my God. Despite there literally being 1.4 billion people in India. Now these, these kids are in primary school, right?

So I don't know where they've got the nous of this from. They kind of looked at each other and went, yeah. That is so funny. We explained that we all lived in the same street. Our parents were all friends and we all hung out all the time back in India. And like we decided as a community, we were all going to move to this random suburb, suburb primary school in Australia. And the teachers and the rest of the class were just like fascinated by this.

So we just had to just like stick at it. That is so fucking funny. I reckon that's the best lie of all of them. That's great. Well done, Shani. You're allowed to say it. India? Oh, I know it.

But they did know each other. But they actually. But they didn't. That was a lie. I've done it. I'm gonna wait a minute. Hey, it's Bunny from Plainfield, Illinois, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.

You can check it out anytime. All the information's in the show notes and in the YouTube description. Nida Kleboskita Simke, thanks Nida. Nida anything? Yeah Nida. Aaron Gonya, Katie, love you so much Katie. Thank you. Slesley or S Leslie? Slesley. Slesley. And Chelsea Harris. Good on you, Chelsea. Absolutely love to see it. And if you're watching this episode on YouTube, all of the names scrolling along the bottom are like all levels of Patreon. So if you would like to see your name there, you should join the

Patreon and then wait about three months. Cause it takes a while to get through them all. No, I think I do for a refresh. Yeah. I did refresh them at the end of the year. Okay. Yeah. And it's, you know, it's like first day back.

Yeah. And so I'd get through, you know, although, cause we did five episodes in a week that really like got through some names. Yeah. Um, also speaking of Patreon on Monday, there is a live stream with Tony and my wife and what are you, I don't really know what it is that you guys are doing. Okay.

Well, Bridget got some craft stuff too. So we're making something for Ryan's daughter, Mabel. Yeah. A little craft book and we've bought a laminator. We've got two pairs of scissors. It's all popping off. Bridget's on first name basis at office works and loving it. Yeah.

Uh, Bridget and I had a production meeting, uh, over last weekend over FaceTime, which is very good news. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so we're popping right off. It was riveting to be in the room and that was going on. Oh, I thought that out for the year was shit cunts. Fucked out was cold as ice. That was good. Anyway, though. Yeah. Join us on Monday. If you're a champion, Tapa. Um, see you then. See you then. It's going to be great. 2025 is the year of winning.

So we've been saying this all week, but we've got some questions and some updates. But if you knew, or you're just joining us on YouTube today, this year, we as a collective group of fucking legends are going to win 1000 things. So all the tapas we're going to win. We're going to win. So basically often it's embarrassing and you don't want to tag your friends when a brand's like tag two friends and you could win a thing. In like an Instagram competition. Tag me and Tony. We love it. We'll be your two friends.

You don't have to annoy people that you have to see down the street and you can still win the stuff. Yeah. That's the thing. You get the stuff. I reckon cause otherwise, you know, Oh, well I helped you. I did, you know, did they get some? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no's something that came up. So someone was like, Oh, I did this great thing at work. What a win. I was like, you're right. That is a win, but that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking prize. Cause we did also say on Monday when we started talking about this, that like, does the, is a win considered like if you want a running race or something,

does that count? I kind of, but does it? Well, I think it's not all you love to see it. No. And if you win the running race, surely you'll get a certificate or a medal or something. Yeah. I feel like maybe like live brain song is a prize. The thing that needs to be a prize.

It's not when people go, oh, what a win. That's not what we want. We want like the- A win stuff. We want the prize. Yeah. So there's a lot. We want the prize. We want to hear about the price. So there's a link on our website, upload whatever it is that you want. Tell us how you want it. And by the end of the year, a thousand wins. Yes. Um, now Lucas Coombe who is a no Lucas Coombe. Sorry. But I also, when I saw, I just might eyes lit up. And I was like, he probably gets that a lot.

So I'll let that one slide. Who's Luke Coombs? Country singer. Yep. And country's the style. I had some hair, it ain't like, is that him? No. That's Morgan Wallen and Post Malone.

Go again though with the country. Um, body like a back road, driving with my, is that him? Luke Coombs? I can't Google it till later in the episode. Oh yeah, that's good. We'll get to love Googling soon. Um, but Lucas Coombs, who listens, he's a frequent commenter in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group. Tony and Ryan podcast. He goes, I know old wins don't count. So thanks for clarifying that.

Thanks for understanding that. Yeah. We want shit from this year. Yeah. But Lucas says it would be remiss of me not to share the weirdest fucking prize because of what a cracking tale. Amazing. I used to watch this gaming show on channel seven called screenplay. Must've been like late night on seven mate or something. And they're like, Oh, this week in gaming, blah, blah, blah.

And during an episode, we should actually do this. This is kind of fun. During an episode, like something in the background would like change and they wouldn't mention it. But if you noticed what it was, you would like message in and go, oh, they've moved that to over there and you like win the prize. Isn't that fun? That is such a fun idea.

Yeah. Um, and if you guessed it right, you won a strand of hair from the hosts. Love it still. Really? Yeah. I'll do that. We can only have a few. We actually, we can have heaps of winners. I've got heaps of hair. And once we get through the one on my head, I mean, still plenty to go. We could be here all year. The year of winning. Okay, hang on. It's a thousand wins. Ours is a thousand wins. Will there be a thousand pieces of air in my back?

Not now. Not now. Cause you've had a wax. You're like a slutty dolphin. I can barely sit on this chair with that. Slide right into my pussy. Can, sorry. My back first.

Slide in, slide in. It's the. Um, I've just seen you look on your phone, this is a snippet from Screenplay, the gaming show. We changed the set, we altered something slightly and we asked you to find out what it was. That's very true and Luke Coom spotted it. Was it Rabid Mario? Yes it was and as per the terms and conditions of that competition, here is the bag of hair trimmings that you will receive that we no longer talk about

Because it nearly ruined a friendship. Mm-hmm. But what a piece of history what a piece of history You know own Luke punch in on one And now punch in on this face, which is just so scared of Steph And I can confirm that the hair made it to Lucas's house. Do not clone us. Um, Lucas says I kept it for a few years until my wife made me throw it out justified. Well, he worked hard for that.

So that's the kind of depraved shit we're after. Those kinds of wins. That's pretty depraved. That's setting the bar pretty high. It's a shame we can't count that. Yeah. I wonder if somebody else could win some hair and put that is I think. I do respect him saying, but the tarpers need to know about this time. Absolutely. Thank you for sharing that.

You know how when you got your injections, they're like, where are you going? Yeah. When I get like the, my back waxed, they often like, you assume you're off to Bali. Oh, they're like, Oh, getting ready for a holiday. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, no, I'm trying to get late.

So yeah, no, I just want my shirt to slide on as easy as possible. Yeah. So, um, it's always awkward. They go, so where are you off to? And you go home. Do you know what I hate when you go somewhere and the small talk is like, Oh, so what else are you, what are you doing today? I'm like this.

This is it, mate. I've left the house for this. I do one thing a day. I will be returning to my home. Yeah. Yeah, it's fine. And then you just feel like you should make something up. Like something really exciting.

Yeah. Like you feel like you should be like, Oh, well I'm not doing anything today, but yes, I fucking fought a house fire. Like you like, Oh, well I'm going to take it today, but yes, I fucking fought a house fire. Like you like, Oh, I'm going to take it easy today. Cause yes, that's a big one. You know, for the house fire. Yeah.

And I want, what injections did you get? And can I have some, if you're off on holiday? Yes. I'm like, how embarrassing that I had to be like, no, I'm not going to Peru. I'm fucking, I got bad skin. embarrassing that I had to be like, I'm not going to Peru. I'm fucking, I've got bad skin. Sorry. Oh no, you go, man.

Well, so this week we talked about, um, out ins and outs for the year on Monday. And, um, I said that in for 2025 for me was writing down things I wanted to Google and Googling them later and not like ruining the moment. This started. Yeah. Oh, in for me. We'll be listening to what you say. Yeah, that would be good.

I've been trying that for a few years. It's still not get great at it. Yeah. I know. I know. You know, what's a bold face like thought you got away with. I love that story you told today. Okay.

Um, no. So I said that I thought that that would like help me stay in the moment a little bit better and take information in better after the fact, because I could sit down and go like, yeah, I did want to Google that. And as an offhanded comment, Ryan said, should we try that on the show to pitch in a pitch a segment that is not normal on our to say on a Friday, we'll Google everything from that week. And nothing has ever made me more excited than this. Nothing's made me more mad because I want to find out straight away. It's like edging all week.

Yeah. Like you've been like, oh, I want to come for that Google. Yeah. But now we're about to jizz all over this place. Yeah. But I also promised that I would come up with some potential names for this segment. Well, Emily McMahon, who's a tarpa has pitched an idea. I'll hear yours first, but all I'm going to say is she's going to be tough to beat. Okay. Yep. Would you, are you sure you want to hear? Yes. Emily got,

Emily says, you know, like googly eyes. Yes. Well, she goes because you're doing the Googles on Friday, it should be googly fries. That's good. That's good. Not the best though, is it? It is good though. Googly fries. I do like that.

Okay. So it does make me hungry. Like little chippies is the only thing. Um, well, okay. I thought that a classic suggestion that everybody would have suggested suggested suggested would be Googler. I hardly know of. So I did write that down. That is pretty good. Um, I also had a play on TGIF. So like, you know, thank God it's Friday. Thank Google. It's Friday. Or thank Google. It's Friday. Time to Google. It's Friday time to Google. It's Friday and time to Google it.

Fuckers. So any of those, any of those, I think. Thank Google. It's Friday. Strangely, my favorite. Yeah. What was the last one? Time to Google it.

Fuckers. There's TGIF still, but time too is just one favorite. Yeah. What was the last one? Time to Google it fuckers. There's TGIF still, but time two is just one word. Yeah. Cause I'm like, I'm counting letters and I'm like, somethings are missing. Okay. No, I like, this is great. Like, for example, we were like, oh, and it's TGIF time to Google it fuckers. And then we did it.

That's pretty fun. It's aggressive. Yeah. Yeah. I did think that DJI have thank goog it's Friday. I thought it was really. I don't like using the word goog because it sounds so similar to gooch. Yeah, I do get that.

I, but when we talk about it in real life, I mean, we say that anyway, we just all pray down to your gooch and we go go thank you so much for another wonderful way? Thank you. Good. What day is it? Friday? Yeah. Lovely.

Thank you. Just Friday. Um, but when I in real life, when I go to say, but like, oh, fair chat, when I say like, I need to Google that. Yeah. Like, Oh, give it a go. I say that all the time. I've never heard you say that.

I say that all the time. But I've never heard you say that. I say that all the time. I don't recall you ever saying that. Yeah. So that's not the same. I say that to Chobbs all the time. I'll give it a go. Okay.

Then he's just out rubbing his gooch along the floor. I'm sorry. I'm lost. Yeah. Is it Friday? Okay. What else? Okay.

So they're the options. So we've got googly fries from Emily McMahon, which is great. Googler, hardly Noah and any of the options from the play on words of TGIF. I think that I personally like the thank Google it's Friday. Thank Google it's Friday. Yeah. And I think it's like that. What are you like?

It's time for TGIF. Thank Google it's Friday. But you've written them. What are you, what feels right for you? I also really like thank Google it's Friday. And can I just say that I rolled over in the night and was like, I've got it. And that's what I wrote down. I like woke up and looked in my notes and I was like, I've got it. And that's what I wrote down. I like woke up and looked in my notes and I was like, that was good.

You know, when sometimes you're out down in the middle of the night, then you look over it and you go. Rabbits, great wall of China. I was about to say rabbits. I was about to say rabbits and cheese. That's crazy. That is crazy. Let's go through the week's things that we need to Google.

Thank Google. It's Friday. That's your 5G at work. The connection. Instead of putting 5G in me, can I just have chat GPT? Can you get that? Can we get chat GPT on days that aren't Friday? If we're thank Google, it's Friday, but what's the, what's the limit on chat

GPT Saturday to Thursday? Every other day is fine. The first thing we need to Google is the word desist because on Tuesday's episode, we received a cease and desist from police. Scotland. I said, is it deceased? I thought it's when you had a system, they cut it out. And I said, is it when they kill your sister and your day sis?

Yeah. So because cease and desist, we know what it means. I mean, but in my mind, we're just thinking of C's. Yeah. Is it a bit like resist? Like cease and just like resist doing what you're doing? What did, uh, this is fucking dumb. So desist says stop doing something like ceasing.

But maybe it's just got a better ring to it. Cause if you just said cease, that's, it could be lost in translation. Yeah. It sounds like cease and desist. You go, Oh, I know what they've said. But if desist means cease, that's, it could be lost in translation. Yeah. It sounds like cease and desist. You go, Oh, I know what they've said. But if desist means cease, you basically are saying cease and cease. Yeah.

But it's a bit like mind your P's and Q's or like, I want some peace and quiet. Is that what mind your P's and Q's means? No, I don't think so. So is that just a coincidence that you just said peace and quiet? That's just a coincidence, but like peace and quiet, they mean the same thing. Or drunk and disorderly. Why don't they just say drunk and drunk? You can be disorderly and sober. I can be, yeah.

The next thing we need to Google is Carver. And this is going to be crazy considering Tony's current state. Yes. Uh, but on Tony, on Tuesday, we learned Tony, we learned Tony was chill as fuck in Fiji and maybe it's cause she got loose on the Fijian Carver. Yeah. And I said, I didn't have any Carver, but I don't even know what it is. So Carver, I was like, no.

But I was like, is it like weed? Like, I didn't know if it was like a. Cause I think it is. So Carver, I don't really know. But I was like, is it like weed? Like I didn't know if it was like a- Cause I think it is herbal. Oh, it's, it says am I searching for Canva? No. And I think you're spelling it wrong cause it's K-A-V-A I believe. What is Carver? A Pacific islands drink made from the crushed roots of a plant of the pepper family, having a mildly intoxicating or sedative effect. Oh, sedative, anesthetic, pro psychoactive and euphoria properties.

So is Carver the same as CBD? No. But when it says sedative, we're on the right track there with chill Tony. Yeah. Carver contains Carver lactones that react with certain receptors in the brain to create feelings of relaxation, which is different because CBD is like the cannabinoids is what affects you. Right.

I also just Googled that really fast. I didn't know that. Um, it says here, we have to Google how to penis have as P standing up and keep their pants up because on Wednesday's episode, Tony was confused and I tried to show how boys take their pants off and pee. Well, I don't understand how, if you have a penis, how just flopping it out works. Cause when you just piss love your pants, is this Googleable? I don't know what to Google. How do I'm gonna type. I'm glad this is going into your thing and not mine. Okay. How do penis have as P is what I've written. And then it has done the AI overview of Google and

it said boys. So just know that I didn't do that. Boys typically start by learning to urinate while sitting down and then progress to standing up when they're ready. That doesn't actually tell me what I need to know. How do you get your penis out of your pants? Oh, oh, OK. No, that's not what we wanted to pay to pay to pay or not to pay to. That is the question. To pee. To pee or not to pee? To pee.

That is the question. Okay. On Quora, this is the top thing that's come up. When using a urinal- Quora. Huge asterisk. Yeah. Cause they'll say fucking anything.

Well, it's just people, isn't it? When using a urinal, how do you piss through the fly pants down, etc. Back when you could smoke in the men's room, I would unzip and pull it all the way out, skin back my foreskin a few times just to clear the pee hole. Then I would light a cigarette, put both hands on my hips and let it flow. If the men's room was outside and it was cold, I never retracted my foreskin. What? Why would it happen? There's never an outdoor men's room unless you're literally just pissing in the bushes. Um, but can I say-

I don't understand that. And I wish I could take back reading that. They're okay. He's already a win for TGIF. Thank Google. It's Friday. Do you, someone just walk over your grave? Yeah. Tell him to fuck off.

I'll piss on him. I don't know how, um, that doing TGIF has prolonged the time. I didn't know that for. So there's already a win for TGIF. Thank Google time I didn't know that for. So there's already a win for TGIF and Google it's Friday. Yep. Because I had to know that for less time and hopefully I die soon. And it's not long that I have to know that for. I'll have read Scott Fields answer to this question.

I can hear your disdain and disgust for Scott Fields. Quar-a-zone. Scott Fields. Quarazone. That sounds like Quarazone. My third jab of the day. You're just, everything's jab chat. So there is something to be said for peeing and not needing either hand to pee. Oh, okay. Would that be if you had a...

stalk on? No, it's more like... Didn't we ban that term a very long time ago? I'm sorry, everyone. I don't know how long ago it was, but it was definitely last year. It's not about having a stalk. I hate it here. It's more about like a store. I hate it here. It's more about like other people being around, maybe not needing to hold your pants because you just like, I dunno, not wearing any or just wearing swimmers and

you just flop it out the front. And the fact that he having a smoke and just being a hand having a hands free piss with the dart is just, that does sound pretty elite. He's living. He's living. I don't think that, um, it would have the same effect if you sat down for a way and had a ciggy, cause that's just like sitting down and having a ciggy. Yeah.

But standing up, I guess is pretty fun. Yeah. Okay. Also having a cigarette with your dick out is just like a great feeling. A dariener dick. Yeah. Tony, you're perfect where you can. Um, the next.

Oh, I know we named the episode earlier in the episode, but that's very good. A Dick and a Dari Dunn right. Um, the next thing we need- A Dick and a Dari with Ryan Dunn. Dari Dunn right. Um, the next thing we need- A dick and a dari with Ryan Dunn. Ryan Dunn's dick and dari. Ryan Dunn gives you a dick and a dari.

Um, yesterday we all fell in love with Aurora Mendoza. Yes. And we assumed that someone with a name like that would spend her days eating vegan lunches and drinking a light red wine. A light red, yeah. Now we both agreed on the light red and then you said, um, Chianti. Having a Chianti.

And we both didn't know if that is in fact a light red. Okay. I'm Googling. Is a Chianti a light red? Question mark. Chianti is the right light red one. Yes. Oh, Bridget's going to be so impressed with that. I'll tell her that when I see her on Monday. Um, finally our final live Google and we'll, I wonder, thank Google. It's Friday and please let us know in the comments of the episodes ready.

If you want this to be a regular, please say yes. I think it's so fun. And I worked really hard on the name. Um, Tony, this was yesterday, I believe. And I almost can't believe it was yesterday. Thank God it was, can't thank God you're here. Tony thought the opposite of Bailey's was water. And I thought the opposite of Bailey's is asphalt. I did not thought the opposite of Baileys is asphalt.

I did not say the opposite of water was Baileys. I said, I overheard someone ordering a Baileys they didn't have. And they said, I'll just have water instead. Yeah. Like, like if I can't have this, I'll have that. Yeah. I said the opposite of Baileys is asphalt and we should Google how to pronounce asphalt. Okay. And I think I said, I think it's asphalt.

And then I think that Sophie, producer Sophie said asphalt. Do you want to put it into the, and they'll say it, right? So I've just typed in the way you spell it, like the way you spell it, which is A-S-P-H-A-L-T. Asphalt. I'm just going to do the definition. I'm turning my laptop to loud. Ready?

Asphalt. Thank you. So it's what I said. You're welcome. There you go. Asphalt. Cause you said Ash felt. Like ash from fire and felt like feeling.

Like Ash from Fire and Felt like feeling. For everybody not watching the video show, Ryan said felt and just did like a boob squeezing. Yeah, I've had sex before. I get it. I know how to do it. I've seen it in the films. Great. I really love to see it. Amazing. Great. I really love to see it.

Amazing. We learned earlier this week that the most Googled food of 2024 was the Olympic Village chocolate muffins. Yeah. And how elated they look as well. Yeah. And Tapa Dasher said, I actually made the Olympic Village muffins and they are, and I quote Dasher, dangerously good.

What? Like what? In the Olympic Village? And I quote Dasher, dangerously good. What? Like worked in the Olympic Village. Oh, Tony. So you know how I was like the most Googled recipe. I was like, that's not that shocking. I was like, a dapper worked in the Olympic Kitchen.

Gold medal gear. But just made him. Still amazing, still awesome. I'm really happy that we have a tarpard that is such an amazing baker. I'm buying shares in Chemist Warehouse. Cause after today's episode, the line out the door for whatever the fuck got stuck in your arm is gonna be huge.

And I'm gonna be one of them. I'm gonna be two of them. I'm going to be two of them. I'm going to double drop. Two arms. Double drop. I have not heard that term in a very long time. Fuck that has unlocked something deep within me. Now we did say that- You ever done a train track? That's called docking I believe. You ever done that? One in the ass and one in your mouth and see which one let them meet in the middle like a train? Sorry, can we cut that out? What is happening? What is happening? That's not how, I don't think that's how biology works.

Nah, but that's like what you would say. Who's they? Sophie knows. Sophie nodded. Sophie's a mother! And Sophie knows. My love, S Sophie's a mother! And Sophie knows. My love said I've just sent it to you on Instagram. This is really, really cute.

So this little boy drew his dream Nikes on a piece of paper. And they went and got custom sneakers made to his specifications. So it's like a waffle cone with ice cream and sprinkles is like what he's drawn. Yeah. And they've gotten them made and there's a little video there you can watch like without the sound on. We'll pop it up on the screen if you're watching on YouTube of him unwrapping the

present and seeing like his creation come to life. That is sick. Um, and I just love that because creativity is so fucking important. And to see that come to life would just be, he's probably, we're going to be buying his shoe designs one day. I'm here. You had me at Waffles on shoes. Yeah, true.

But you're right. I love that. And how supportive of that kid's parents to go like, no, we're going to make those. I just fucking love it. So I just read this book called What to Do with an Idea. It's like a kid's book. Oh cool. And it's sort of like a little bit gently aimed at the parent reading it to the kid. That's like, if your kid has a dumb idea, like just get around it.

Yeah, love it. Like, how fun, you know, because as soon as we start poo-pooing them, they'll go, oh, okay. Well, then you just have no confidence to offer suggestions and options. So in the spirit of not poo-pooing things, I have one extra thing to add before we leave today. Okay. So on Monday, you and my wife are doing a live stream. Yes.

And so Torb's messaged me and goes, oh, well, since the girls are doing a live stream, should the boys do a live stream? That's fun. Yeah, we actually did it this morning. And you can watch here to have a click on watch that Tony. What? That's not.

I don't like that. We haven't clicked yet. I have. You what? You're listening? Yeah, I'm watching it. I don't have the sound on. You need the sound on.

Nah. You need the sound on. I'm going to protect everybody from that. It's an audio gag. Whoa, Black Betty, bam, blah, whoa, Black Betty, bam, blah, we've got a lot of music. You need the sound. I'm going to protect everybody from that. It's an audio gag. Whoa, black Betty. Bam. Bla. Whoa, black Betty.

Bam. Bla. No, it's got it up. Bam. Bla. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, bam, now! I wouldn't. Did you like that? Yep. You like that? Yeah.

Yeah, good. Well, I think that our Bridget and I's live stream is gonna be a bit different to that. So if anybody joined your guys' live stream this morning, it's gonna be a little bit different. Oh boy. Have a good weekend. Love you. Big first wake back. Big wake. Big wake. Big wake.

Hey, happy new year guys. Happy new year. Happy new year. Happy new year. Love you. Love you. Love you. Bye.