Toni and Ryan - Rock Bottom Toni
Episode Date: July 31, 2024Normal or nah and OLYMPICS CHAT!!! Toni xoxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on... TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge.
And we are calling God's country.
Perth!
Yeah, it's Shauna and...
Shauna the sheep.
Shauna the sheep-er.
Shauna the sheep-er.
Sheep-er.
Shauna the sheep-er.
Shauna the sheep-er.
One of the most wholesome jobs in the world.
A sheep.
Hello.
Hello, Shauna!
Hi, how are you going we're good i just said you've got the most wholesome job in the world what do you do shauna i'm a children's librarian yep that's
wholesome as fuck yep sing and read to kids wow that sounds really fun do you love it i do do
it's a very it's a very good time.
What side of the river are you on, Shauna?
Yeah. Whereabouts do you live?
Oh, I'm on the best side. I'm on the
north side. Yeah, baby.
Okay, interesting.
Whereabouts? Did you grow up
south? I grew up south,
but moved north, like,
you know, as soon as I fucking turned
18. See you later oh excellent yeah
yeah i say i have like real pride of the north even though i lived in north fray of like five
meters from the water yeah so it doesn't yeah the most south you can get off the north yes
yeah oh it's true it's true yep and i understand by that you gotta take the music
shauna will you approve today's episode i will
hi it's shauna from per, will you approve today's episode? I will. Woohoo!
No jams.
Hi, it's Shauna from Perth and I approve today's podcast.
Welcome to the podcast.
Hello.
We've just stumbled across a new topic as we were chatting in the office
and I said, hit the fucking record button.
Hit the button, sweetheart.
What is the difference?
And this is global knowledge that the rest of the world can learn about Australia.
Yeah.
The differences between Perth and the east coast of Australia.
Because Perth is its own country on the other side of the mainland.
It's the most isolated capital city in the world.
Yeah.
Yeah. Crazy. It's also a dry heat. The heat is dry. It's the most. Isolated capital city in the world. Yeah. Yeah.
Crazy.
It's also a dry heat.
The heat is dry.
It's a dry heat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So what did you say you and your dad did?
Oh, so if we used to, like, we would go down for a surf or whatever.
Yeah.
And you'd, like, you'd drive down on the beach and he'd be like.
Jail.
Please continue.
Well, yeah, he'd be like, oh, like, fuck, jump in, you know,
and you'd have a bit of a burl down the thing.
Yeah.
I've just learnt that you can't drive on the beach in Victoria.
If you, so once in WA, Western Australia, dry heat.
Where I'm from.
We drove on the beach, lit a fire.
Yeah.
And had a beer, like pretty innocent stuff, you know,
sun's going down, watch the sunset, fire on, have a beer.
And that's like pretty, like what you're saying is normal to me.
You would be in jail for decades if you did that over here.
That's insane.
Driving on the beach, five to ten years.
A fire at the beach?
Fuck, are you serious?
An extra five or ten years.
Drinking, first of all, alcohol in a public place.
See you later, bro.
Oh, that's a bit different now.
Drinking in a glass bottle.
There's another ten. Yeah, I reckon you're looking at 30 years. Fuck. Oh, that's a bit different now. Drinking in a glass bottle. There's another tent.
Yeah, I reckon you're looking at 30 years.
Fuck.
Like no way.
And then, yeah, one day I was in WA.
We're driving, you know, like Australian hats,
that weird bit along the water.
Yeah, like where Preston is.
Yeah.
So this guy's driving, we're driving along the road
and there must have been surfers or campers or whatever.
And this guy's driving along kind of like looking at the beach,
looking, what do you call that bit of water?
Like the dunes?
Oh.
Yeah, the dunes and the water.
It's not quite the ocean because it's more of a bay.
Do you mean in Preston?
I think I know what you're talking about, yeah.
And so he's just looking out the window whilst driving
and at one stage he obviously went, yeah, this spot will do
and just drives off the road.
You know, it wasn't like take the next exit to the campsite.
No, it's like the track that's through
the sand dunes yeah he just like obviously saw something he liked it went yep yeah that's it
pulls off into the sand dunes towards the water and obviously went yeah we'll camp here and i was
like everything you're saying is like so normal to me yeah my brother once went to a beach bonfire
rave how much does that please put three of my favorite words together
in the same sentence?
Yeah.
And it was this massive bonfire, massive party.
Yeah.
And he like-
And it was on the beach.
So it's like-
Fuck yeah.
Already you're like, that's pretty cool.
But also like people drinking near the water are like potentially dangerous.
Yeah.
Well, it was because he lost his glasses, his mobile phone,
and his keys-
Yeah, but I do that-
At this beach-
Three times a week.
Not a biting bottle. And we were at this beach. Yeah, but I do that three times a week, not abiding by those.
And we were in Broome and so his car was with us in Broome
and he's like, well, what am I going to do?
So his best friend had to break into mum and dad's house
and find the spare key and like next day express it to us in Broome.
I thought you were going to say drive it up.
No, no, no, no.
He next day expressed it like fucking DHL.
Probably cost him like $75 or something to get the car key up to Broome
so that he could like use his car while we were on holiday.
All right.
And it was probably parked somewhere that he was paying per hour
or something.
Doesn't that sound like a teen movie?
Yes.
Just like, hey, everyone's heading down the beach for a bonfire party.
Yeah.
It sounds very OC.
Yeah.
Like I think the first scene in the first episode of the OC where he's like,
welcome to the OC, bitch.
Bitch.
They're at like a bonfire on the beach.
Yeah, that's where it is.
Those vibes.
Yeah.
And Jamie went to this party and like got, yeah.
Fuck yeah.
I want to know what's more strange.
What we're discussing or like it'll be strange either way.
Like in your area, yeah.
Like you think it's strange that you can't do that here.
Whereas I'm like, oh, my God, I got to Western Australia.
I was like, this is fucking the place.
This is weird.
I love it.
It's sick, eh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's fucking good.
Yeah.
And that's why it is God's country.
It really truly is.
I once said, oh, yeah, laws haven't made it out there yet.
Because when I lived in Queensland, I said like, people go, where do you live? And once said, oh, yeah, laws haven't made it out there yet.
Because when I lived in Queensland, I said, like, people go,
where do you live?
And I said 1994.
Yeah.
Because they're just like, so far behind.
It's not that far behind.
But WA, it's different.
It's not a behind in a bad way.
It's just like, oh, yeah, laws, we do that sometimes.
It's chill.
All good.
It's chill.
Take care of yourself.
Yeah.
I don't need a law to tell me to just be careful.
And if I slip up, then I'll fall off the fucking beach wagon.
And that's my bad.
And that's on me.
Don't ruin everyone else's fun. Yeah.
If I can have fun respectfully and responsibly.
Don't ruin everyone else's fun because you fell over at a phone party
and broke your face.
Yeah.
It really is God's country.
It truly is a dry heap.
Welcome to the show.
It's a Thursday.
Let's do normal or nah.
Yay.
Oh, actually, I think I'm just on my high horse for a bit.
What do you want to talk about?
Maybe I'll turn this into a normal or nah.
We can do normal or nah after this if you want.
You need a little simmer down.
People who put a splash of cold water in a cup of tea can fuck right off.
Oh, Jesus fucking H, RMS Titanic crust.
There was a debacle, another debacle before.
It's been all happening in the office.
It's a big day.
Yeah.
The thing is, okay, let me set the scene for everybody.
I said out loud, I was like, I'm going to put on the cuppa.
Anybody want a cup of tea, darling, is what I said. And Ryan goes, oh,
I'd love a cup of tea. And I said, how would you like it? Because we've got a few
different types of tea. They all are prepared differently. I said, do you want an earl grey or
do you want a herbal one? And you gave me very, very specific instructions.
You said, I'd like an earl grey with a pfff of honey.
I'd say that's a bit even too
and then um of honey and then the squeezy thing that makes sense if you got a squeezy
and then how much honey and then and you specifically said not yeah yep uh which i
understood and then you said and a splash of milk a whisper of milk a suggestion of milk a rumor of
milk yeah and i even double checked what type of milk that you would like because we have oat
and we've got cow and we've got almond in the fridge and so after you had given me all of those
very specific instructions i prepared the tea as you had desired i then brought a cup over to the water cooler and you, I would say, screamed at me.
No, I did not. I don't scream at anyone.
It was pretty aggressive.
And I went, what?
You didn't say any words, just grumbled at me. And I was like,
what? And you're like, what are you doing? I didn't say anything like that.
Yes, you did.
What are you doing?
You're making yourself sound really good here.
You were like, what are you doing?
And I was like, putting water in my tea, putting water in this tea.
And you're like, oh, no.
And I was like, yours is done.
This is mine.
You had given me very specific instructions as if I would then defer, detract, derail.
People who splash cold water in cups of tea can fuck right off.
No, I disagree.
What's the point of boiling the water in the first place if you're just going to cool it down with cold water?
It is a hot drink.
But it's still hot to then put a splash of cold water in it.
It just means I can drink it straight away.
Otherwise, if I set it down and go, I'll let that cool,
I don't drink any of it.
I don't drink any of it.
And then it's stone cold and I might as well just have a cup of cold water
and tell myself to fuck off.
Will you drink a cold cup of tea just to prove a point?
No.
I don't like it.
It gets a weird texture when it's cold.
So during the tarp-a-thon,
Lockie, who is like a friend of a friend who just said,
hey, I can be the guy who gets the Uber Eats bag
and runs downstairs and blah, blah, blah.
Lovely guy.
He made me a great cup of tea.
Did he?
Yep.
And I said, I'll sit that down there.
Oh.
Some time had passed.
And because Lockie was so pumped because he nailed it I had one sip and
I've gone you've nailed that and he goes oh great and was it the same as like the Earl Grey with a
it was a herbal but it still had a of honey and the ratios were all good perfect and I've gone
you've nailed that and he goes yeah thanks man and like he was a bit chuffed about it and so
then I sat it down and didn't drink another sip of it for like three
hours.
And then he comes back and goes,
Oh,
can I get,
can I take care of any mugs?
And I was like,
fuck.
And you're like,
Oh no.
He's going to see.
And think you didn't like it.
Yeah.
And I was like,
I,
I can't let Lockie down.
Cause I,
he,
he was so pumped.
He was so stoked.
So I can't.
And then also it actually was good.
It wasn't like I was just pumping him up.
But it happens.
You pop a tea down sometimes.
So I sculled it.
A two-hour old tea, and I was like.
An herbal one, though, at least.
It wasn't a cold, milky one.
You know what my sister does?
It gets like a.
Don't.
Like a.
Is it the sugar or the oil of the milk?
I don't know.
But it's like separates. Yeah. And then it's got this. Is it the sugar or the oil of the milk? I don't know, but it like separates.
Yeah.
It's fucking rank.
And then it's got this like thin layer of something across the cup.
Especially if you do an almond milk.
An almond milk or-
Really separates.
I don't know if it's pasteurized or unpasteurized,
but one of them separates weirder than the other one.
Yeah.
And so it can look real dank.
And you're right, that would have been harder.
But then so he wasn't looking, so I sculled it.
And then he came around and it was empty.
And he picked it up and he was like, how's that?
And I was like, that was, and like he knew that it was a killer cup.
That's good.
And I looked at him and I was like, man, haven't left a drop in that.
That was unreal.
And he goes, yeah.
Normal or nah?
Coffee and tea in the fucking microwave.
No.
Absolutely not.
My sister does this all the time because that's she'll do she'll have
a sip and then she'll go yeah i'll keep going with that and because she like just forgets or moves on
then she goes oh i'll just pop that in the microwave the the milk there's something about
the milk warming up in the microwave for me that just like sets my fucking soul on fire yeah not
in a good way yeah um set my soul on fire. Yeah. Not in a good way. Yeah.
Set my soul on fire could mean many things in many different ways.
Yeah, it's a bit Elvis.
Set my soul on fire.
Las Vegas.
It's like when I first saw her in that red dress, it set my soul on fire.
But instead it's like, oh, that's really boiled my kettle.
That's pissed me off.
And that's on.
Imagine if you'd done that instead of putting it in the microwave.
Yeah, that's on topic sayings. How was the tea I made you this morning?
Pretty good. Was it alright? Yeah, it was pretty good.
Okay, good. The thing about the, I love these big mugs.
These mugs set my soul on fire. These mugs set my soul on fire.
The mugs are probably the size of a tiny house. They're pretty big.
So, are you okay?
Like if a tiny house had a bowl.
Yeah.
Like this is like a Great Danes water bowl.
A German shepherd.
Yeah.
Great Danes bigger, obviously.
Is it? That's where I went.
I just thought we were listing large dogs.
I didn't know we were competing.
Nah.
Well, there's no competition because Great Dan's obviously bigger.
Oh, the dog from The Greatest Story of All Time.
No, the dog from Beethoven.
Beethoven.
What was his name?
Saint Bernard.
I think because the mug is so big.
It makes everything better.
Yeah, but it throws your ratios.
This little mug just makes me feel tiny.
You are just a tiny woman.
A tiny little girl. I think because it's so big that throws your ratios. It just makes me feel tiny. You are just a tiny woman, a tiny little girl.
I think because it's so big that it throws the ratios.
So instead of having a pfft of honey, I could have actually in hindsight gone a pfft.
Because by the time you put all that water in, I see what you mean.
Well, I can adjust that for next time.
Do you want to hear something disgusting?
Literally always.
Jackie O, radio host here in Australia, does a morning show,
Kyle and Jackie O, so up very early in the morning.
Now, Jackie is from the Gold Coast and they'll be the first to tell you
they're like bogans and whatever.
They know.
They know.
She used to make her coffee the night before and then heat it up in the morning
because you know when you wake up at 4 a.m there's not you don't have time to you know
okay mate i have something to say tony lodge when i just remember what you said about the
microwave yep so sans microwave but i would make my coffee at night time.
When I worked in breakfast radio, I'd make my coffee at night time.
So I don't need to go to the mechanic.
I got my car service 10 years ago in advance.
I'd make it at night and then I would just leave it in the fridge
and then I'd just drink it in the morning.
So I didn't even make it like an iced latte.
It was like a hot coffee that then I would just have in the morning.
It's a hot coffee that you just had cold. Yeah, which is not an iced latte. It was like a hot coffee that then I would just have in the morning. Which is like.
It's a hot coffee that you just had cold.
Yeah.
Which is not an iced latte.
How come it's not?
That's a great point. You know when like if you order a cold coffee.
Yeah.
And that's an iced latte.
Yeah.
Right.
And delicious.
If you order a hot coffee and then it goes stone cold or you pop it in the fridge for the next morning,
maybe if someone was doing that, it's not the same.
Why isn't it the same?
Great.
It's the reverse bell curve.
Very iced, delicious.
Very hot, delicious.
But in the middle, ooh, dang, not good at all.
Because, okay, what's grosser, a cold coffee or a warm iced coffee?
Yeah.
Yeah, doesn't that just fucking.
But how come the same temperature doesn't work both ways?
Yeah, it's the mystery of.
Because if you left a coffee out, it would, and then you took a sip,
you'd go, fuck, that's cold.
You wouldn't go, oh, that's tepid.
You'd go, that is cold.
So how come that's not the same?
Like, I just, I think that there's magic and science at play
because it's not, it could go down to the same temperature.
Is it real or is it not? Art and science don't mix.
Have you seen Harry Potter?
Alright, I have a theory. It's the same as a
question. I think an iced coffee and a coffee
aren't the same thing.
They have a similar name because they have a similar taste.
But maybe iced coffees are from a different world,
coffees from a different world, hence what you're saying.
You can't cool a coffee down to an iced coffee.
It grows.
You heat.
Imagine getting an iced latte and going, oh,
I can feel like a hot coffee.
Is it the textured milk?
No, they're separate things. But is it the textured milk? No, they're separate things.
But is it the textured milk?
You've been lied to by Big Coffee.
They want you to believe it's the same thing, but it's not.
No, because when you make an iced coffee, you just pour milk in,
whereas a hot coffee, you texturise the milk.
I wonder if it's the textured milk that goes fucked when it's cold.
This might be magic and science converging yeah um if you had said to me
the night before i like pull a shot through get the coffee ready and in the morning
because you know how you have that like overnight cold brew kind of stuff yeah
but that's different and that's it yeah that that's, yeah. Because that sits in the beans and it like makes it stronger.
Whereas just making a coffee and then, yeah.
So I did, so I'm so sorry, but yeah, I used to do that.
It's just brekkie radio, man.
It's hard work.
It does.
Sometimes you just get to drink a coffee that's been in the fridge overnight.
And I've always.
Looking back on that.
Yeah. I was always said that. Looking back on that. Yeah.
I was also really poor.
Like, I was getting paid like shit, hated my fucking life.
Like, I couldn't afford to go and get a coffee in the morning
and I didn't have the time.
Looking back.
Yeah.
Does that just feel like sometimes you look back and you go,
oh, that crappy old house and, oh, you know, we had a good time.
But I just hear that coffee stew.
Nah, that's fucking rock bottom.
Yeah.
I hear that and I go, nah.
Let's just quickly do a normal or nah just so we can.
What do you mean we've been doing normal or nahs all that time?
Normal or nah?
Nah, the coffee in the microwave.
Jordan Lane has a normal or nah.
Hi, Jordan.
When I meet people with a foreign accent
I start using the accent without realising
That's called echolalia
What do you call me?
Echolalia
Echolalia?
I hardly know it
I'm not mocking them
It's like I'm subconsciously trying to get on their level
Yeah, that's a real thing.
Yeah, I would hate to go to France with Tony
if she knew Echo Shalia or whatever her name is.
Who?
Echo Lalia.
Yeah.
So that is real.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a real thing.
I'm never going to France with Tony Lodge.
It would be the fucking end.
It would be the end of France.
The Olympics would close down.
Oh, don't say that.
Chelsea Rivet.
What's it like hanging out with her?
Like a frog, Chelsea Rivet.
I thought you were going to say it's riveting time.
The frog also a good gift.
It's the French that's getting to you.
Yeah, it is.
Normal or nah?
Feeling secondhand embarrassment every time someone's phone rings
and they have a song as their ringtone.
You know, that was a real big thing when we were little,
like text 48478 to get this song sent to you for $7 a month.
Yeah, but I haven't heard someone's phone make noise in quite some time.
I always think they must be embarrassed,
but older colleagues at work and boomers at family functions
have no tact or shame.
Well, you know when you pop your phone on loud because you're expecting a call and then you forget about it and then later on like your phone makes a noise and you're like i'm so sorry like
you just haven't flicked it back over yet well during the live stream when i told people to call
me because i was practicing being an emergency contact you put your phone on loud so you could
hear it yeah and didn't then it rang and we all kind of looked at each other and went.
What does that mean?
Why is it yelling at us?
Why is it?
Shut the fuck up.
Hi, it's Shauna from Perth and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A huge, gigantic, massive shout-out to all of our Patreons over at our Patreon.
Wow, when they're called the same thing, I mean,
what are you supposed to do?
You're one groovy baby.
Baby.
Too many babies.
A few of our champion tier Patreons. Baby. Baby. Too many babies.
A few of our champion tier Patreons that joined us for our tarpathon last week.
Sorry, trying to get through.
Jam, good on you, Jam.
James Eden, Natalie Ainsworth, Rose Aurora, hardly know her.
Cassidy Simmons and Joe Evelyn, good on you guys.
Thank you so much for being part of our Patreon
and hopefully you joined us for the Tarpathon.
Over the weekend we did a live stream inside of our Patreon
until Australia won gold at the Olympics.
Yep.
Happened a lot sooner than maybe we anticipated.
I think, yeah.
But it was good.
Yeah, we didn't get tired drunk.
21 hours isn't like delirious.
No, but we'd started at four in the morning.
So it was like such a long day, but then it was like, oh,
you just finished at midnight, who cares?
I was still a little bit fucked.
Yeah, I feel like jet lagged.
I think I'm still, I said to James, I think I'm still like one big sleep off.
I think.
Like coming right back.
Like normally in the morning, I don't really have trouble like waking up.
Yeah.
But the last few days, like all this week, I'm like bleary eyed in the morning.
Yeah.
But I mean, the other thing that's probably not helping is that I'm fucking staying up
late and watching The Limp every day.
Isn't The Limp and The Time Zone really just designed to fuck us at the moment?
So, we were, Torbs and I were talking about this, right?
That last limp in 2021 in Tokyo.
Yeah, it's the same as us.
It's only an hour or two off.
Yeah.
So, it was actually awesome because you woke up in the morning
and it started at 10 and then it went till 7.
Fuck yeah.
And it was fucking perfect.
And I was like, this hasn't been a problem for ages until it was like,
well, yeah, like, fuck it.
It's like basically Perth's time zone.
Yeah.
And then this one is like flipped over and it doesn't feel as exciting
to watch the replays in the morning.
No, there's a strict.
I've already seen on the Daily Oz that the medalist is lost.
So Bridget's setting timers.
She's blocking stuff.
Yes, nice.
And so she's waking up at six and going,
do you want to watch the replay of the 200 backstroke?
Yeah.
And you go, yeah.
Yeah, before anybody sees who won it.
I actually think Bridget and I will be in the advertisement for,
you know, like if a telephone provider or Apple or something did an ad
and there's like a couple that wakes up early to watch sport
on an iPad in bed together, isn't that just like the pinnacle
of like selling an iPad?
Yes.
Like wake up and goes, oh, and like we're cheering it like,
yeah, good on you, Kayleigh McEwan.
And it's just beautiful.
But where like if I come home, she'll be like, boop, boop, boop.
Don't say anything.
I haven't seen the final of the rowing 400 skulls double chin yet,
so shut the fuck up.
Okay.
Well, yeah, so we've been watching it at night time and, like,
staying up late.
Like, the other night watching the tennis was, like,
Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic, and they fucking went for, like,
it ended up going for, like, two hours, and we're in bed like this.
Yeah.
Like, watching the fucking tennis.
But I'll tell you what has really gotten us yeah this yeah this time around
the archery really we i've never watched in my life couldn't even tell you like any of their
names any of the people that do it any fucking of the favorites or anything we watched every single
heat every round, every swim,
whatever it's fucking called.
And Arrow has not been shot from a bow without Tony and Torb's eyes locked on.
And we watched one and Torb goes, it's pretty heavy, you know, the bow.
And I went, how heavy is it?
And then like the women's is a different weight to the men's.
Yeah.
So it's like all this shit about archery, but we like never watched it before.
So are there different categories and stuff?
So, there's just the men's and the women's, I believe.
And then there's, like, there was the heats and the metal.
Yeah, gotcha, yeah.
And so, you've gone the journey?
We did the whole.
Like, it was honestly, and aren't the Hong Kong fans,
the fans from Hong Kong are incredible.
Hong Kong, one of the great countries in the world.
But they are fucking turning out.
Every single time I've watched anything with an athlete
from Hong Kong, their fans in the crowd are fucking
Gingham up, holding flags, just really good sports. Can I drop some knowledge?
Please. So there's been a lot of articles doing the rounds that
if an Australian wins a gold medal, they get like a $25,000 bonus.
Silver is $15, bronze $. Yeah. Silver is 15, bronze 10 or whatever, blah, blah.
I think America is like 40 grand for a gold medal.
Have you seen what I'm about to say?
Yeah.
Hong Kong for a gold medal is what, $800,000?
USD.
US fucking D, which is about-
Azerbaijan.
There's this 300,000 USD for a gold.
Ours is?
Azerbaijan. Oh, Azerbaijan. Yeah. Are they winning any gold there? Yeah, they won for a gold. Ours is?
Azerbaijan.
Oh, Azerbaijan.
Yeah.
Are they winning any gold there?
Yeah, they won a gold yesterday in the, you know,
it might have been archery.
But, yeah, no, no, it fucking wasn't.
It was the judo.
Right.
Azerbaijan won the men's judo, 65 kilo.
Oh, because what I.
Fuck, I'm good.
All right.
I want in the episode three today everyone to tell us,
besides cups of teas and microwaves and Perth being of dry heat. Very important, but-
Also, what random sport have you just latched onto?
What have you grabbed with two fucking hands?
So Bridget's always been into the gymnastics.
Oh, that's my highlight, yeah.
As I said last week, I love the road race.
He did really well on the men's gymnastics.
But one thing we really got into was the diving
and the synchronised diving in particular because I don't know
what it is about like they're all so jacked.
Yeah.
And I think it's the-
That's still so elegant.
But yeah, the other sports, it's like adrenaline and power,
but it's this like poise and patience and deep breaths.
But there's like a little bit of twink energy in the spa
when you watch the boys, you know what I mean?
Like it's just these specimens.
How can someone be that short and jacked and hairless
and five foot five and beat anyone in a fight? also, it's the connection to the other person.
Yeah.
They're not looking at each other.
They're not talking to each other, but there's just implicit trust.
And you know how the whole, like, similar to like golf when they're about to take a
shot, it's like the whole thing goes silent.
Dead silent.
And you just see this.
And two, one, jump and go.
And then they kind of like do that.
Yeah, and then there's like the splash and then they get out of pool.
I think it's also the thrill of the fact that it's over so quickly.
Yeah, it's bang, bang, bang.
Like it's a split second and it's done.
And then I think what is great about diving is that we can know nothing
about diving but we can judge a splash.
Oh, yeah.
Because there's no splash in your go.
Oh, too big, too big, too big.
Yeah, you've now.
Yeah.
How much splash would we get if we synchronizedly jumped
off the 10-meter platform?
I don't think I'd get up there.
There's a lot of stairs.
Is there a lift?
Yeah.
Is that fun?
Can someone, like, get me in a crane and fucking
flick me up there?
Of all the technology in sports, why is there not an elevator
up to the stairs?
Why are they still walking up the stairs?
Like, fucking, that's why they're jacked. Yeah. It's not the training. Why are they still walking up the stairs? That's why they're jacked.
Yeah.
It's not the training.
Yeah, it's walking up the stairs.
If we-
You get to the bottom, you're like, fuck, I've got to do that again.
If we did a synchronized pin drop from a 10-meter board,
A, how synchronized would we be?
And B, how big would the wedgie be?
Because think of the pressure of us-
Hitting the floor.
I'd just be split in half.
It would just cut me in half.
Yeah, like a wire going through cheese.
That's really sweet of you.
Thank you so much.
Why, you little bowl of cheese?
I'm just a tiny girl of cheese.
But just the diving is just.
Yeah.
All right.
Here's a challenge for us.
Yeah. Would we, Tony Lodge, Ryan Dunn, between now and the 2028 games
in Los Angeles.
Could we, like, get on the games?
Well, obviously not.
Okay.
Dream a little bigger.
Would you, like, try and get this momentum,
like continue this momentum?
Yeah.
And would you go to, like, the 2025 Australian Archery National Champs?
To compete?
I think I could.
No, to what?
Oh.
To compete?
Yes, I mean, yes.
Yes, I think I could.
Yeah, is this the invitation to the-
No, like, if you're an archery fan, let's go.
Well, I'd actually like to go and do it.
You want to do archery?
I think I'd be really good at it.
Are we going to have to cancel the annual tennis membership?
No, well, we didn't get the annual tennis membership, thank God,
because we could go to archery instead.
Oh, there's archery in Berlin.
Oh, they took it down because of that freeway.
Who's Berlin?
Berlin.
down because of that freeway.
Who's Bulleen?
But you know that big highway that's joining the ring road to the eastern freeway?
That thing that's fucked Manningham Road.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, so first it's fucked my traffic to go see my sister
and now the archery.
What's next?
It's taken out the Bulleen Archery Club.
Oh, my God.
Maybe they shoot over the freeway now.
Boo!
They could do it.
I've seen it.
Yeah.
One thing I did appreciate was the Japanese winning gold in the gymnastics.
The gymnastics is great.
The men's or the women's?
The men's.
I don't know if the Japanese women won, but specifically I saw the Japanese guys win
because they were the underdogs.
The Chinese guy slipped and it was a heartbreak in Japan with the underdogs.
I've just sent you a picture.
Yeah.
The top comment is expecting some magic out of this lad.
It's the Japanese gymnast and what's his name?
His last name is Tada.
Tada.
And we love it.
You know, I know Richard can swim, but can Richard funk?
Yeah.
I fucking love these.
So, you know, when in the gymnastics, they kind of like stick the landing
and they kind of do that, like salute the judge.
They do that.
Yeah.
Isn't that the ultimate like?
Tada.
Tada.
The perfect sport for it as well.
Yeah.
Because you couldn't do a ta-da at the end of archery
because your heart rate actually has to be so low.
Same with the shooting.
Do they keep, is there a monitor on their heart rate?
They've got a heart rate monitor and you can see how low it is.
Of course they do.
Do you reckon when we go to the archery championships next year,
they'll have that available to us?
On me, because I'll be so excited.
Popping right off.
What's your love to see? I've got a love to see
here from Michaela, who actually it's
type-a-thon related and it's very good. You'll
like this, Ryan.
Michaela says I've been dating this guy
since March. I do like this. Good on you, Michaela.
Get around him. He was super
sweet to start off with and also like
a bit of a hottie. But lately he's been
a bit off and like started to get a bit controlling and making like weird comments and like
being judgy about who she was going out with and stuff. And she was like, is this the thing I'm
supposed to, that I would like? No, no, no, no. It comes back around. So
it got a bit random and Mikhail was like, this is really fucked and I don't like this and I think
I want to break up with him. Thanks to the amazing power of the Tony
and Ryan podcast, I finally did it.
When I told him last weekend that I was settling down to do nothing but watch the tarp-a-thon,
he got really mad.
According to him, and honestly, he's not wrong, she says, I care more about the pod than I
do our relationship.
And who doesn't?
Michaela's now ex-boyfriend asked her to choose between him
and watching the tarp-a-thon.
And I quote from Michaela here,
you better fucking believe I didn't choose him.
Fuck that guy.
Michaela, you made the right decision.
That's what I said.
And I replied to Michaela and I said, oh, well, you're a bit upset that I only went for 21 hours.
Yeah.
Well, he only went for about one minute each time.
Yeah, less than that.
What have I got doing it three times?
Fucking cockhead.
50 seconds to get your belt off.
Yeah.
Anyway, you love to see it.
Michaela, huge.
Look at us changing lives.
You know who hates us for the rest of his life, though?
That c**t.
Yeah.
Oh, thank God.
Sorry.
Anytime one of our reels pops up, he's going to go, I dated a chick that chose these ****
heads over me.
And then their friends are going to look him up and down and go, what?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, Michaela, like, **** rate it.
Yeah.
Good on you, girlfriend.
Yeah.
I hope we were worth it.
Yeah.
I hope we were worth it.
No, good call.
Great call.
I think we've got a few spare Tarpathon hats.
Let's write, great choice, Michaela. Yeah. And sign it. Yeah, good call. Great call. I think we've got a few spare Tarpathon hats. Let's write great choice, Michaela, and sign it.
Or we'll send her something.
I'll be in touch, Michaela.
We've been chatting via Patreon, so I'll be able to get in touch with Michaela.
Yeah, we'll hook you up.
That's your fucking...
Love to see it, eh?
Fucking love to see that.
So good.
I knew you'd like that.
Didn't I do good?
You did really well.
Yay!
Tomorrow on the show, I'm actually not going to tell you what it is.
I know we don't do pranks.
It's not a prank, but there's something that you're like not going to love right away.
Okay.
It comes around.
Is it Michaela's boyfriend?
Yeah, he'll be hosting the show tomorrow.
No, he hates the show.
We're hoping that he's coming around.
He's coming around.
All right.
And video show tomorrow. Yeah, so it's not like a, we're doing, it's just around he's coming around um all right and video show tomorrow
yeah so it's not like a we're doing it's just like a a warning for you tony lodge for me
specifically yeah that you you know it's yeah no i'm fine i'm all good oh um but you luckily it's
no no danger of cold water and a hot tea god we'd all be going down maybe there will be
um just like just be warned that like there'll be some discomfort
but i think we sometimes we need to push through the discomfort oh it's a fucking pap smear
oh spoilers spoiler alert james got my gloves um all right we'll chat to you tomorrow all right