Toni and Ryan - Ryan: The People's Champion
Episode Date: July 28, 2022You heard it here first - Ryan is the people's champion. PLUS we're in a brand new studio!!! Yay! Love ya!!! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebo...ok Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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So Vanessa doesn't know we're about to call because when she booked in to approve she was drunk at the time.
Great.
So there's all these weird notes in the like approval thingy.
She's probably drunk now.
She's probably drunk now. I mean, who's to say?
So this is Vanessa or just a Ness.
Ness.
Hello?
Hello, I'm looking for Vanessa Clare who may have drunkenly signed up
to approve a podcast.
Am I speaking to the right person?
You are.
It's Tony and Ryan.
How are you?
Hi, Vanessa.
Really?
Yeah.
No, not really.
It's someone else.
Oh, my God.
No way.
I thought I was booked in at like the end of August.
Yeah, okay.
We just had about 16 people not answer the phone and you are the last person on the list.
Oh my god, I will definitely do it. Oh my god, my day.
Is it true that you had to amend your booking multiple times because you did sign
up whilst drunk? Is that a fact? It is a fact, a little bit. Are you drunk now?
I wish, I wish.
I wish. wish I wish
God
I've got to start
it's like not two o'clock yet
you know
I've got to work my way
into it
my husband will judge me
so
oh my god
as Tony just said
we literally
a whole bunch of people
didn't answer
and stuff stuffed up
and I was just looking
through the list
and I just see this like one that's been amended seven times from the stuffed up and I was just looking through the list and I just see this, like,
one that's been amended seven times from the Central Coast
and I was like, we're fucking on here, I reckon.
I was like, I got a vibe here.
When you first called, I had to, like, cancel the call
because I was, like, on the toilet.
I was like, oh, shit.
Literally.
Calling me.
Well, even though you signed up while you were drunk,
do you mind being sober and approving the podcast?
Would that be okay?
I will approve this podcast.
Yay.
Amazing news.
Oh, my God.
I approve.
Hey, it's Ness from the Central Coast in Australia,
and I approve this podcast. Hey, how you feeling?
Yeah, I feel good.
All right.
Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.
My name is Ryan, vice captain of the ship.
Tony, our queen, very excited because...
We're in a new studio!
We're in a brand new studio today.
It feels good?
It does feel really good.
I said this to you the other day, that like, so we've moved into like an office, we've
got an office, and you know, we're talking to people around the water cooler, learning
a new toaster, putting our stuff in the fridge, and I was like, don't you feel so grown up?
You had a moment when you sat at your new desk the other day, you were like, we're doing
it, we're doing it. And we got to go and buy like monitors and SD cards and stuff.
And it was just so fun. It was actually such a fucking thrill. I like that we got to do all
that stuff, but because you didn't have your bank card, I got to pay for it. Well, I think that
that's just chivalry.
I prefer it to be dead. Is chivalry dead?
It is.
I wish it was.
My bank account wishes it was.
Coming up in this episode, I'm not sure about you,
but I have a piece of clothing that my partner, Bridget, hates.
Only one.
Oh, okay.
Righto.
I don't like you confident in this new room.
I like less sassy Tony.
But surely other people would have that piece of clothing they've been hanging
onto for a while or trying to sneak out.
There's a few looks.
Yeah.
And coming up, a debate about something that's a new item in my life.
Yeah, sure.
Okay.
But before we get to that, so obviously we're talking about having moved
into a new office.
But before we moved into this office, obviously, and Zoom's a big thing still.
Absolutely.
People are like, oh, and I literally got an out of office email this morning from someone that was like, sorry, I won't get to you straight away.
I'm working off site in the US.
What?
Fuck off. Are we still doing that? Should we start doing that?
So was it a flex or was it trying to be convenient?
It was like, oh, won't get back to you straight away
because I'm working off site in the US.
So people are just like literally nomading wherever the fuck they want.
There is no fucking rules.
Do people expect you to email back immediately?
Or you might think that?
Because if someone emailed you and you didn't reply immediately,
you'd have a meltdown.
No, no, no.
But, like, I guess because the US, like, office hours, quote, unquote,
would be, like, the opposite.
I guess my question is, are they just mentioning the US bit at the end?
Like, obviously I'm not going to get back to you straight away because,
you know, life happens.
Yeah.
Because I'm in the US.
I see.
It's like when someone invites you to an event on Facebook and then you go, sorry, I can't make it.
I'll be in Europe.
I'm going to be in Europe that day.
A simple no would have been fine, asshole.
I actually don't need your fucking travel itinerary.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Anyway, so like people are doing the Nomad thing.
We're still on Zoom.
We're still on Google Me and like the 15 billion other versions of it.
What's the Microsoft one?
Teams.
I do a lot of Teams.
Do you?
Muni is on Teams, yeah.
Oh, Torb's my partner.
His work is on Teams.
He's a Teams guy.
I'm a Google Meet girl.
Really?
Yeah.
Do you know why I like it?
Why?
Because when you join the call, it tells you if people are in it already
and I never want to be the first person,
so I just keep hitting refresh until it says, like,
Ryan, John is also in this call.
Imagine if everyone was like you.
And everyone was waiting for the first person.
Yeah.
I mean, imagine everyone was like me.
What a great world that would be.
I know that that's not the point you're trying to make.
But you're taking it.
You're taking it.
You're taking it.
Anyway, but the other day, so we've just announced
that we're teaming up with our mates at Spotify.
Tony and Ryan will be exclusive with Spotify from August 8th, which is very exciting.
And we had to jump on a little call with the sales team at Spotify.
So we've been talking with, you know, the creative side for a few months now.
But this is like the first like real biz meeting that we had to do.
And I was a bit nervous.
I was doing the Google Meet refresh, like making sure I wasn't the first person in the meeting. Was I the first one real biz meeting that we had to do yeah and i was a bit nervous i was doing the google meet refresh like making sure i wasn't the first person in the meeting was that the first one
there no you were late so it was just you guys were all a bit earlier no i was the last one in
after the time that we had decided as a universe that that was the time we were meeting anyway so
our like the person that we do all of our business with, she was there. So it was like comfy and cozy. And then there were three salespeople
on the call as well. And they all jumped on and I went, oh, I'll text Ryan. Sorry, he's running
late. Anyway, you ended up joining just after I said I was going to text you. So I didn't need
to text you. But you jump on the call with a plate and like three bits of toast on it.
The reason I was running late.
No, I just would like for you to see it in how shitty
of a thing that is to do.
The fact I was late or the fact I had the toast?
Both.
It's like when someone walks in late to a meeting with a coffee
and you go, oh, so the coffee was obviously more important
than what, like the commitment that you had to meet with me.
Were you embarrassed?
Yeah, I was actually.
I was like, fucking hell, dude.
Like you fucking walked in with, you know, you've gone,
oh, sorry, I'm late, but yeah, don't worry.
Oh, did anybody else want, you know?
Well, first of all, I did offer if anyone else wanted a slice.
That went down well, I think.
And then I explained that because we don't have a toaster,
I have to use the griller and it takes a lot longer than I thought.
Did your toaster just break that morning?
I don't own one.
Oh, so you've made toaster in the grill before.
So you know how long it takes.
Because if your toaster just broke that morning and you had no idea,
then maybe we could fucking let it slip past to the goalkeeper.
I'm a sport girl now.
I don't know if you missed that.
You're a sport girl.
That was good.
I like that.
Yeah.
Tony's met a few AFL players this morning at the new studio
and she's a sports girl now.
Look at just dropping stories like this.
They're all so tall.
Would it make you feel better if I bought,
when I bought a toaster this morning and just smashed it?
But the thing is, is that you roll in and we're all kind of chatting beers
and they were people we hadn't met before.
Hadn't met before.
And then you're fucking like munching on your toast like a fucking six-year-old.
Okay.
In my defence, I thought the fact that I was eating made it like more casual
and like, yep, just a couple of new colleagues hanging out,
getting to know each other over lunch.
Like you're going, you know, we've got to meet the sales guys.
Let's take them out for lunch.
But you didn't.
Similar sort of vibe.
No, not similar at all.
Also, I want to know if people will at least respect this.
Every time I took a bite, I muted myself.
Wow, you're the fucking people's champion.
Well, I didn't want to like the you out of out of all people, like, you hate the eating sound.
So I muted myself and took a big bite,
and then when I had to talk, I quickly unmuted myself.
So, yeah, I agree, as you were.
I just, it shows that you are just an unorganised person,
which you know that I hate.
I do know that.
You've made it very clear.
Oh, you haven't mentioned it. That's weird. Let me know on the episode thread if you think it's fine that I was. I do know that. You've made it very clear. Oh, you haven't mentioned it.
That's weird.
Let me know on the episode thread if you think it's fine
that I was eating on the Zoom call or if you're Team Tony
and want to nitpick my breakfast.
It's the most important meal of the day.
But because I made Ryan feel so bad about it,
he did ask people in the Facebook group for some stories to –
Make me feel better.
Have they made you feel better or –
They have.
Do you think they make you look good because you're like, my crime is so insignificant compared to theirs.
No, it really does, yeah.
Because when you kind of brought that up, I was like, oh, maybe I'm in a –
You're like, I need some fucking backup.
Yeah, I need someone worse than I.
And thank you to Anastasia, Ashton, and Megan.
Oh.
My story – you won't even remember my story at the end of the podcast.
Anastasia. So she's in a work chat. She messages end of the podcast. Anastasia.
So she's in a work chat.
She messages through in the TARP Facebook group.
You can join us, Tony and Ryan.
I fell off my chair in a work meeting on Zoom.
What?
What was she doing?
That's actually not a significant part of the story.
But, yeah, you're right.
Who does fall off their chair?
You know it's a good story when her falling off her chair is not even part of it.
So she falls off their chair? You know it's a good story when her falling off her chair is not even part of it. So she falls off the chair and what was behind her
was her cat licking its own arse.
So she's fallen out and then the rest of her colleagues are like,
is your cat?
Pussy licking a pussy.
Yeah.
She sounds like my friend, I know.
Is this the sales call or has someone gone out with Tony?
Do you remember when we were on that other sales call
and that guy was like giving this big up speech
and then he kind of moved to the side a bit
and his toddler was running around in the background
like had obviously just hopped out of the bath
and the mum was kind of like trying to wrangle the child
and the child's like, put your pants on, Stephen!
And the stage, I fell off my chair and behind me,
my cat was licking his own ass.
When I popped back up onto the chair,
I realised that everyone was laughing
and then that's when I noticed the cat was doing what it was doing.
I was horrified and in my horrified moment,
the screen froze with my face pulling the scariest,
most horrified face ever.
My boss screenshotted it and sent it in the company Yammer,
like the internal thing.
Oh, my.
Like company Facebook?
Company Facebook.
I mean, that's the first time I've heard anyone actually use Yammer.
We worked at a company that had Yammer.
Yeah, and I was one of the leaders on launching Yammer,
and I was a Yam-bassador.
We should get Yammer. No,bassador. We should get Yammer.
No, fuck no.
Let's get Yammer.
Okay.
Is there like an internal chat here at our new studio at Producee?
A Slack or anything?
There is.
Oh, God.
Work Slack.
I could be a Slack-bassador.
M-slacks-a-da.
No, we'll work on the name.
We'll work on the name.
Well, anyway, the only reason Anastasia's office has it
is to laugh at her horrified face.
Oh, my God.
And so it's just like her in the bottom corner like,
but then the cat like.
Maybe that should be the next audio.
All right, Ashton.
Ashton.
Ashton Kutcher?
Just the first name Ashton.
Oh, okay.
Maybe. Maybe.
Okay.
I was on a video call with my boss.
Oh.
And as I'm explaining something, she walks into the bathroom and just starts peeing.
Fuck off.
Video?
Yeah.
Nah.
So Ashton says, I'm not sure if A, she didn't know the video was on,
or B, maybe she thought it wasn't through the phone
or through the laptop and she'd left the room and couldn't see,
or maybe the boss just thought, oh, we're close enough,
two girls, not a big deal.
So what would you, Tony, Felicia Lodge, do in this situation?
You're explaining something for work.
Yeah, so obviously in the next sales quarter we want to hit the...
Melanie, yeah. So what would you do?
I'd be like, oh, did you
want me to call you back, is probably what I
would say, and put it back on them.
And then if
they were like, oh, what, because
I'm guessing that this person
didn't know, because
you would hope so. I mean, you would hope so, but
Ashton's still like, in the moment,
I don't know what the call is here.
I'd probably be like, oh, sorry, did you want me to call you back?
I can call you back if this isn't a good time is probably what I would say.
The two of us both have had different times when we were chatting to each other.
We go, hey, mate, just going to go to the bathroom.
I'll call you back in a few minutes.
And it's like really not a big deal.
Yeah, or even just like do you know what I have done on a call before?
Being like, hey, my internet's going shit.
Let me go out and come back in if I've had a coffee and I'm about to shit myself.
And I'm like, I just need to buy myself like three or four minutes.
I go, oh my God, guys, I'm so sorry.
My internet's playing up.
I'm just going to leave and rejoin.
I've done that before.
And then you go power poo.
Quickly shit myself and then come back.
Oh, connection's feeling good now. And I'm like, oh my god.
Yeah, the NBN's back up.
Yeah, that's good.
Ashton
just pretended nothing happened.
She didn't have the
minerals to
ask the question. It's pretty awkward.
And she goes, I still don't know to this
day whether it was intentional. It's a awkward. And she goes, I still don't know to this day. Whether it was intentional.
It's a fucking power move though, isn't it?
Or the boss just went, whatever.
I'm going to piss while we're on the phone.
Maybe it's a, I mean, it's obviously different because they're sitting there,
but it's not strange for two blokes to be chatting and then wander into the bathroom.
And then if you're just standing next to each other at the trough to like continue your conversation.
Yeah.
Or like if I was, went to the toilet with her,
say we went to the movies or something and we were like,
oh, we'll just quickly go to the bathroom afterwards,
we would keep chatting like between cubicles if there was
like no one else in there.
Yeah, so maybe they were a bit.
Yeah.
I don't know about that.
Ashton, can you please ask?
Yeah.
We'll ask for you.
Yeah, we'll call her and ask.
Hey, remember that time a year ago when you'd be talking to Ashton? Can you please ask? Yeah. We'll ask for you. Yeah, we'll call her and ask.
Hey, remember that time a year ago when you'd be talking to Ashton?
And finally, Megan, a colleague of mine is a really annoying and a bit of a bitch.
And I mean isn't, let's be honest, most workplaces.
Every family, every workplace, every friend group has got one.
Who's the bitch in your family?
We won't say which sister.
I don't have one.
Every family except mine.
Mine.
If you don't know who it is, it's probably you.
You know what?
I'll cop that.
I'm the bitch.
Tony would rather say that than out her family.
And I'm good call.
A colleague of mine is really annoying and a bit of a bitch.
And during a Zoom call, I was bitching about her to another colleague.
Oh, fuck off.
You were going to die.
I totally forgot that I was sharing my screen on the Zoom call
and everyone.
Oh, fuck off.
Oh, so they were bitching on Slack.
On Slack, yeah, but obviously they've got their computer.
Oh, you're fucking kidding me.
I'd throw up and die.
I totally forgot I was sharing my screen and everyone on the call,
including the girl I was bitching about,
could read every single word that I said about her.
Oh, you know what?
You probably fucking deserve that.
You know what, Megan?
Yeah.
Sorry, Megan.
I'm not on the bitch's side.
No, me either.
But she's still a bitch.
Yeah, you lay down with dogs, you get fleas,
and she sounds like a bitch.
All right, so can we all agree me eating toast not a big deal?
Yeah.
All right, thank you.
Thank you very much.
It's better than you bitching about me on Skype.
Tony, what a...
LAUGHTER
Hey, it's Ness from the Central Coast in Australia
and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
MUSIC PLAYS Hey, it's Ness from the Central Coast in Australia and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
Massive thank you to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
You can check it out at any time you wish.
The link is in our show notes. Dan the Celebrant
Man is number
one. Maybe I could get some tips because
I obviously have to become a celebrant. Is he cutting
in on your turf? Maybe. Maybe he's
going to private message other people in Patreon and be
like, hey, if you want a wedding, I can do it cheap.
Yeah, those guys are charging
$1,000 a month. I'll do it for $9.80.
One off. One off.
Maddie Robson, thank you so much.
Robbie Texey, Kira Totland, Winifred Say, Chris Colbo,
thank you so much.
Michelle Firth, James, Zachary Aaron, Mark Halamacek,
and Zach Tyler.
Thank you so, so much.
Legends.
Now, on Monday, we're going to be reviewing and Tony's going
to be rapping about the first Indiana Jones Raiders
of the Lost Ark.
So if you want a little throwback viewing for the weekend.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Pop it on this weekend.
Grab yourself some fucking pepitas and settle in.
A lot of people like that recommendation, by the way.
And it's a good one.
An underrated seed.
I'll give you an underrated seed.
Pepitas, the underrated seed.
Any Pepita companies want us to come on board, we absolutely can.
We're open for business.
Ryan is happy to spread his seed.
When I once looked into...
Sorry, where's this guy?
Yeah, I know.
I already regret it.
I once considered donating sperm.
Because you're adopted, do you think?
Well, strangely, I had this sense of like I understand
that some couples can't get pregnant, a lot of same-sex couples.
So I was like, oh, what a nice thing for me to like help someone else
on their journey.
How generous of you to offer to jerk off.
Thanks so much.
I've been working for a lifetime.
Again, the people's champion. Again, the people's champion.
Yeah, the people's champion.
Thank you.
And when I was in Perth and I read on this website
and there was a bunch of couples.
I just imagine, because I'm from Perth,
imagine if I did it and I had a sperm donor or something.
Like I'd gone through that process.
But imagine if.
I just watched you think back and go, fuck, have I had right?
Like as if.
You just let me just check the roll.
Did I do it?
No.
I mean, imagine if I had.
Yeah.
And then I found out that you were the father of my child.
I mean, we can find out that way.
I'd love to find out.
Yeah.
Anyway.
You've been offering. I can find out you're the I'd love to find out. Anyway. You've been offering.
I can find out you're the father of my child in nine months if you like.
What are you doing later?
Back of my head looks good today.
So I'm reading through.
There's a lot of couples.
There's sort of a bit of a blog and they're like, hi, we're a couple.
We've been together for five years.
We're looking for someone to help us out.
Often it was two females obviously looking for the sperm
to complete the transaction.
And then at the bottom of the thing, and I cannot believe,
I'm still shook.
I'm flapped since I read this because I would have thought it was obvious.
And the fact they had to put in this disclaimer makes me think
a lot of people have inquired about
this.
Yeah.
Do you know where I'm going?
No, I don't.
At the bottom of the thing, it goes, just as a disclaimer, it will be done via, you
know, semen insertion and you actually do not-
Insemination.
Insemination.
Yep.
You will not, in fact, sleep with the girls.
Plural.
Because as it like, you will not sleep with the girls.
As if someone goes, oh.
What a hot threesome.
I'd love to have a threesome, but none of the girls say yes.
I know.
I'll be a sperm donor and then they'll have to get around it.
I want to laugh, but I'm also just so devastated that that has to be on the thing.
I read that and I chuckled and went, the fact of like how many times has someone asked that before they go, oh, we'll just put it in the FAQs?
Yes.
A good fact?
No fact.
There's a video, Franco, thanks.
All right, is there a piece of clothing that you like
but your partner hates?
And also, is there a piece of clothing that you might have bought online,
you're feeling yourself, you're feeling confident,
you're online going, yeah, I'm the kind of person that wears that.
I'm feeling real good.
But then when it arrives and the reality of like,
am I doing this?
Have I brave enough to pull this off?
Maybe I was in a better mood when I bought it
and now I'm a bit sheepish.
Yeah, or you buy the clothes thinking
that's the kind of person I want to be
but it's not actually the person you are.
I do that a lot.
That, yeah.
Yeah.
The person I want to be.
Yep.
Well, the person I want to be.
Oh my God, you've got an example.
Is this sweater, which I've worn around you a few times
and you do bring it up.
Can you explain it for everyone?
I don't think I can.
People might have seen it online a few times. If anyone wants to throw up, that's
basically about what it looks like.
Rude. This is the person I want to be, remember?
Okay, so is it?
I like the person you are.
Please.
Okay, so it's like an
oversized slouch fit
light brown knitted jumper
with like dark brown, blue and pink shapes that make flowers.
Although it is flowers, it's kind of just random shapes though, right?
It's kind of random.
You can only tell it's flowers if you look at the whole thing.
Yeah.
It's not like floral or anything.
It's just like kind of, yeah. So there's like a teal, a pink, a brown,
a dark brown, and the whole thing's light brown.
Like it's like an odd palette.
Our friend Tom Wood said,
it looks like you had a fight with Bubba Lo Bill.
That is the, yeah, if you're familiar with the colour palette
of a Bubba Lo Bill, yes.
Can you imagine going into Bunnings and be like, so what are you looking for today?
Like, I'm looking after
the colour palette of like a Bubba
Lo Bill. They're like, yeah, it's actually
in the clearance section.
No one else has ever bought brown, pink and teal
together before. Well, I wore that last
week and a lady in Eltham at the cafe
commented on it. What was the cafe called?
Fuck off. It was called
Zen Den. Yeah, so that gives you an idea of what maybe the girl was into.
Is it true, Tony Lodge, that a mutual friend of ours commented
on the sweater and said it looked great and it was a compliment
and then you said a fashion compliment from that person might not
be a fashion compliment oh yes yeah oh they said it looked good that's not what you want to hear
no it's like if voldemort said they're pretty nice you'd go well the standard is low. I don't hate the jumper. I've usually been a very plain, staples, uniform kind of guy.
You and I both dress fairly similarly.
Like it is, yeah, it's basics, it's staples, denim, grey, black, white,
pretty chill.
To be honest, when we bought the ugly Christmas sweater.
Yeah, they had a sale for three.
So you bought three ugly jumpers.
Yeah, and then I was for three. So you bought three ugly jumpers.
Yeah, and then I was like, I'm feeling it.
So yesterday Bridget and I go to this fancy restaurant for lunch in Flinders Lane.
We thought we'd treat ourselves.
So like right in the CBD, fashion capital of Australia.
Yeah, I've been studying on the weekend.
She's been working during the week.
So we haven't actually had a day both off.
So we're like, let's go treat ourselves and have a nice lunch.
She puts on some nice clothes.
We're like, let's have a little drink and a fun little snack and then i'm like you know what i'm
feeling fun i'm gonna put my fun why are you pulling that face i i didn't realize that you
bought this jumper for fun i thought it was like oh like you know how everyone's got those jumpers
in their cupboard that's like oh, oh. On the couch.
Yeah, or this is like a last resort jumper.
Everything else is in the wash.
I didn't realise this was a first tier.
This is a first pick for a fancy restaurant.
In your cupboard you've got like tiers.
So your first tier clothes that whenever they're clean,
of course you're going to go for those.
I thought this was bottom tier.
Okay, I'm now learning that you consider this jumper a high tier.
That's good.
Okay, now we're on the same page.
Awesome.
Awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome.
Yeah, okay.
Bridget was not for this at the restaurant because she,
as is normal for my wife, Bridget, a few outfit choices.
Does this work?
Is this okay?
How fancy is it?
What's it going to be like?
Do I need a heel?
Yeah.
The tricky thing for us was because it was a weekday,
there was a lot of business lunches, so a lot of guys in suits,
a lot of ladies in power suits.
So she was like, oh, obviously we don't have to dress in a suit for work,
but that's who's going to be in the room.
Yeah.
Is that, are you sure that's what you want to go with?
She goes, people are going to be in suits.
They might judge you.
No good can come from this.
Oh, fuck.
That's pretty brutal from Bridget, actually.
Oh, she said it in a nice way, but the words, I mean,
now that I hear them out loud, repeated, it's pretty clear.
It's pretty brutal, yeah.
So I went with it.
I did it.
Oh, okay, great.
I did it.
Went for lunch.
Sort of forgot about it.
On the way home, we're getting an Uber because I may have had a few
little brewskies.
No, but that's okay.
And you're in the CBD, so it's like easier than fucking.
The parking's a nightmare. Oh, my God, yeah. So I'm trying to get. You don't even haveskis. No, but that's okay. And you're in the CBD, so it's like easier than fucking... The parking's a nightmare.
Oh, my God, yeah.
So I'm trying to get...
You don't even have a car.
No.
So I'm trying to get an Uber's a nightmare in the city
because there's cars everywhere, there's people everywhere,
it's lunch hour.
And so the guy from Uber in the car is like,
oh, hey, mate, I'm at the corner of the...
Where did you say you were going to be?
It was actually hard to find each other,
whereas when you're out in the middle of nowhere,
you're like, oh, there it is.
But the car's everywhere, people everywhere.
And then he goes, oh, hang on.
Is that you in the colourful sweater?
He sees me from across the corner of Collins and Russell,
which is right in the middle.
And there's always like 80 people on each corner trying to cross the road.
And I go, yeah, yeah, that's me.
He goes, oh, stay right where you are.
I'll be right over.
And then he goes, lucky you're wearing that sweater.
No good can come from this, says Richard Roddell.
Thank you very much.
Again, like the mutual friend saying I like that jumper.
Not a good thing.
I could still be in the city if I was wearing a plain jacket.
I could have driven and come and get you, mate.
I know that you love to see that that jumper worked,
but I hope it never works again.
It'd be a shame to see that get unravelled, wouldn't it?
Bridget, if you're listening.
You're saying it's a love to see it, not a I would love to keep seeing it.
I like that, actually.
We should work that in.
What do you love to see, Tonya?
My love to see it is a recommendation.
I backed in for Peter's last week and I'm backing something else in.
A blast from the past.
A fucking banana split.
Fuck me up.
So at the moment.
Bro, of course.
Please.
So last night, Torbs and I, we're watching Wentworth at the moment.
We're fucking super into it.
We've got some bananas.
It's the end of the week.
So, you know, when you kind of like buy fruit on a Saturday because, like the sweater, you want to be a fit person and then you just throw all the fruit out at the end of the week.
Yep, I know this.
Or put it in the freezer and say, I'll make smoothies with that.
We've got some bananas.
I was like, fuck, they're going to go off.
I really don't want to throw anything out.
We'd eaten all of the other fruit.
We just had like three bananas left.
And I was like, I know exactly what we're doing.
Split it open, dog. I cut down the middle,
put like a couple of little scoops of ice cream,
some ice magic. You know
the one that goes hard? Yeah.
And I was fucking going hard. And then I put
some sprinkles on and it was so fucking
delicious. Torbs and I had a fucking banana
split and I felt like a kid.
It was amazing. A kid
or a king? Both. Thank you.
King kid. That is a great
recommendation. Isn't it? Do you have little nuts on there?
We don't have any nuts because actually
we did have some crushed peanuts but
they were on top of the shelf the other day and they actually smashed
and went everywhere. The crushed
peanuts? Yes. Smashed and crushed?
Yeah, but the glass just went fucking
everywhere. Yeah, no, keep that in your mouth.
Sorry, I'm a bit dirty about that because the reason that they fell on Yeah, but the glass just went fucking everywhere. Yeah, no, keep that out of your mouth.
Sorry, I'm a bit dirty about that because the reason that they fell on Smash is because Torbs put bread on top of them and then it toppled over,
like a fucking closet that happened.
Do you know what I mean?
Why did he put bread on top of them?
Like, it's fucking physics, dickhead.
And then you still made him a banana split.
Yeah, I didn't want to.
I gave him less ice cream.
That's teaching him bad things.
But this weekend, if you're going to fucking watch,
I'm about to say Invader Sim, Indiana Jones, Banana Split Dog, do it.
You'll never fucking.
That's a great call.
Yeah, you'll love it.
That's a great call.
Things I love to see.
Let me read this headline from the Daily Mail.
Please.
Office worker reveals her five-step plan to escape debt
after becoming addicted to afterpay.
And we've heard a lot of these stories about these, you know, buy now, pay later.
And now she is set on building an enviable investment portfolio.
She's turning her finances around.
So I'm like, good on her.
How does this?
What's the tips?
I click on the article.
It was Schmanabell.
Tarpa Schmanabell.
Schmanabell, Schmally Schmannard.
Yeah.
Loose Cannon Annabell.
Loose Cannon Annabell, who came to us to the Karen Steiner,
who is one of the great Tarpas, who loves commenting.
She was the woman.
She's escaping debt.
She's moving on.
And she's like, here's my tips and I'm getting financially ahead
and getting my shit together.
Fucking how good do you love to see that?
Schmanabel.
Are you impressed and proud?
Yes.
We know a celebrity.
I love to see that.
A daily male celebrity. My God, we should make Schmanabel love to see that. Daily Mail celebrity.
My God, we should make Shmanabelle a banana split.
To say thank you.
To say thank you here is a congratulations.
Here's a banana split.
Shmownabelle.
All right, we'll chat to you on Monday.
Bye.
Love you, bye.