Toni and Ryan - Ryan's Double Bagging
Episode Date: November 13, 2022I've got dating advice and Ryan's doing... what??? Love ya!! Toni xoxox Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-...order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hello, welcome to the podcast. We are calling Nicholas. Oh, has Nicholas already answered?
Yes, I have.
You answered so quickly. It's Tony and Ryan.
Oh, hi. Wait, is it today?
Oh, no, we've called it a wrong time.
Yeah, we called it the wrong time because Ryan's an idiot, but I'm sorry for talking about you not too early.
But will you approve the podcast, Nick?
Yeah, of course I will.
Great.
Well, that's fucking worked out well.
Hey, it's Nick from Melbourne and I approve this podcast.
All right, coming up today, the Tarpers have decided 21 Jump Street
is the movie for this week.
Oh, happy new week.
It's Monday.
Does that feel like something we should say?
No, especially when you say it like that.
Happy new week.
Happy new week.
Happy new week.
Oh, happy new week.
Happy new year.
Yeah, we got that.
That would get, could you imagine every Monday in like a really like toxic positivity office?
Oh, yeah, actually.
How great is everything?
Great new week.
Everyone ready for a big week?
And everyone's smiling, but their eyes are dead like a shark.
Ready to hit those goals?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Don't say KPIs.
Say like goals.
YAPIs.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
Hit the YAPIs, guys. That is going to go crazy. Yipee eyes, guys.
That is going to go crazy on LinkedIn.
Get ready, everyone.
Oh, I'm going to bomb it up.
Yeah.
Yeah, yipee eyes.
But 21 Jump Street coming up.
And I've – there's been an issue that's been raised on our podcast
that's been raised on TV and was also raised in 21 Jump Street,
which I actually think is the core debate that will split the tarpers
in half, including us.
Split the tarpers in half?
Not individually.
Like you versus me.
Not like I'm going to split you in half.
I was going to say normally when you split me in half,
it's got nothing to do with the podcast.
No.
We wait until that's over.
Well, speaking of being split in half, I've got some dating advice.
Really?
Yep.
And I'm not this guy.
You're not this guy at all.
I'm not.
I got very lucky.
Met someone at uni, begged him to date me and here we are.
He caved.
Yeah.
After a long year.
Yeah, of courting.
Of doing it.
Dating advice.
He finally decided to go out with me.
Yeah, I got some dating advice.
Someone called Dolly Doctor.
It's a new columnist in the house.
Because most people might give you a place to go and snag a date,
but I'm going to give you a time to go and snag a date.
Or maybe I'm not going to give you a place to snag a date.
Maybe I'm going to give you a space to snag a date.
Hear me out.
I hate this.
Okay.
So, you know, like last week or whatever,
there was that lunar blood eclipse moon thing.
Oh, my fucking God.
What?
Didn't you say it looked like slimy?
No, we all saw it and we all heard about it.
Oh, God.
Put the dating advice on pause.
Hang on.
Give me one second.
Sorry to interrupt.
Okay.
However, I've been borrowing my mum's car.
And she loves space.
You can't fit anything in the car because her telescope's in the back.
She's only got 3AW, which is like a talkback station, in her car.
And I don't want to mess with her settings.
I feel like someone else's car you don't mess with their settings.
No, you can't.
And all I've heard about for the last eight days is talk back,
oh, did you see the star?
Oh, it's a red dot.
We've got Jonathan from the Bureau.
Is it going to be cloudy?
Will we be able to see the lunar eclipse?
Thank you for calling it the Bureau and not the bomb.
Oh, of course.
Because you can't call it the bomb anymore.
But it's just like how much can we milk this?
And seriously, these events that happen once every 500 years
are starting to feel like they happen every three weeks.
How often does the lunar – like every 65,000 years?
So the thing that happened last week, this person goes, yeah,
never – like it's a once in 500 years.
And this talkback caller calls in and goes, didn't it happen in April?
Let me Google.
And she goes, the expert goes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's the only time it'll happen twice in the same calendar year
for 500 years.
Oh, fine print.
Yeah, I know.
It's bullshit.
And then their callers are calling.
And maybe I'm just stuck in the vortex of Talkback Radio
that I've never experienced.
However.
Oh, my God.
I've just looked at it.
Yeah.
Once every 65,000 years.
Yeah, that's what I thought it was.
Next one on Thursday.
Anywhere from four to seven times a year.
Thank you.
I wish I Googled this because I feel like every time it comes around,
oh, it's never going to happen again.
And then now this one says, okay, there's a lot of conflicting evidence.
Okay.
This one says, how often does a lunar eclipse occur?
About once a year, every year and a half.
How rare is it?
Every one and a half years.
Okay.
So it's evening out for an average to be one and a half years or so.
But the next total lunar eclipse isn't taking place until March 14, 2025.
But the next total lunar eclipse isn't taking place until March 14, 2025.
So it's like two more years until there will be one of the calibre that was like last week.
And so what's this got to do with picking up and dating?
Oh, I just have a quick question.
You're borrowing your mum's car.
Yeah.
You're filling it up with fuel and stuff, eh?
Like you haven't dropped it back to her empty.
I've got to – I plead the fifth.
Okay.
So you want to talk about space or you not filling up your mug
skull with fuel? Space me up, dog. I love
space. Tell me all about it.
Okay, well, I'm sorry to
turn into fucking Neil Mitchell from 3AW,
but we're talking about the lunar eclipse.
So we never do anything,
Torbs and I. No. We like very comfortably
stay at home.
Yep.
Probably come up with pretty good excuses to not do things on the regular.
Yep.
Especially on a school night.
Oh.
So this happened like Tuesday night.
Yeah.
And I kind of as a throwaway comment was like, we should, oh,
have you seen about this thing?
Because I'd seen it on fucking, it was everywhere. Yeah, it was everywhere.
I was like, we should duck outside and go and see this thing.
And Torbs goes, oh, yeah.
And I was like, yeah, that's not going to happen.
The response it deserved.
Right.
The enthusiasm it deserved.
But because he was so lacklustre in his enthusiasm, I was like, oh,
well, it starts at 8 o'clock and it's going to be at its peak at fucking 9.
Like we should go down there.
Someone's been listening to D.D. Dunleavy on 3AW.
And Torbs goes, great.
Like it was like challenge mode.
He was like, yeah, cool.
You've set the date now so now we have to go.
Anyway, so we're like, okay, cool.
And we had dinner and we were like playing with Pip
and watching TV or whatever. And so we didn't really think about it. And then all of a sudden it's like 8.30 and we're like, okay, cool. And we had dinner and we were like playing with Pip and watching TV
or whatever and so we didn't really think about it.
And then all of a sudden it's like 8.30 and I'm like, oh, the moon.
It's happening.
Ah, we missed it.
And I was like, we should go down and quickly put your shoes on
and Tulsa's like, oh, no, we've almost missed the moon.
Damn it.
I've been watching the clock and not mentioning it all this time.
I nearly got away with it.
It happens every 65,000 years.
Did you take a tip off?
A year and a half.
She was asleep.
So I was like, let's just duck into the courtyard and see if we can see it.
And we couldn't see the moon from our courtyard.
Yeah, because it was like out west or whatever.
Well, yeah, there was like all these, there's obviously buildings all around us,
so we couldn't see anything.
And I was like, oh, fuck, what a bummer.
And Torbs was like, how about we go downstairs?
Torbs, what are you?
And I'm like, oh, my God, how sweet.
He's into this.
He like wants to do this thing with me.
Yeah, that is sweet.
Yeah.
And so I was like, oh, I didn't think he was going to go for it.
I was pretty happy inside.
Had an early start the next day.
I was like, you know, maybe not.
And he goes, yep, let's put our shoes on, let's go downstairs.
And I was like, great.
Anyway, so we.
This was your idea.
I know.
This was your idea.
How dare my boyfriend show enthusiasm in something that I brought up,
that I claimed I wanted to do.
He just loves me too much sometimes.
Imagine if he gets home and he goes, hey, Tony,
I'd love to watch this movie.
And you go, yeah, right.
And he goes, fuck you.
Why do I want to watch that shit?
And then I go, great, and now I don't have to watch it.
The tables are really turned to you.
I can just keep playing on my phone.
Anyway, so we put our shoes on.
We go downstairs.
We walk out the front door.
And you can't see the moon from there either.
We walk to the right, like up the street, can't see the moon. There's a lot of buildings in your area. We walk down to the left, can't see the moon from there either. We walk to the right, like up the street, can't see the moon.
Well, there's a lot of buildings in your area.
We walk down to the left, can't see the moon.
We walk all the way to the back of the block because I was like, oh, my God, sorry.
Sorry, she's punched a Frank Greenwater.
We walk all the way to like around the block to end up on the other side, can't see the
moon.
Far out.
It's not looking good.
What time is it by now?
It's probably about 8.45, 8.50.
So the peak's 10 minutes away.
Yeah.
Yep.
Yep.
Is there a buzz in the streets or are people scrambling to find a position?
No.
Okay.
Not that we could see, no.
Okay.
And anyway, so we walk around the block.
We can't fucking find it.
And literally, I'm wearing like a t-shirt dress and slides.
Like I'm not dressed to, to you know go fucking orienteering
and uh slides huh who got you those slides you did thank you thank you so much for those i actually
yeah i actually wear them all i was literally about to buy them and you read my mind yeah
anyway do you want to go look at the moonlight so we walk around the block we can't fucking find
anything right and i was like let's just go home because I'm a quitter.
You are a quitter.
I like, I'm happy to admit defeat very early in the piece.
Torbs goes, nah, it's okay.
He downloads this moon tracker app.
Of course he does.
Yeah, because that's Torbs, right?
But this story is like very, Tony's quit.
Yes, on brand.
Torbs has found an app.
Tick, on brand.
Torbs is on his phone like trying to research
how to figure it out anyway
so he downloads his moon tracker app
2022 by the way didn't want to get the out of date
one and he goes
oh it's over here and I was like well we already
looked over there and turns out where
we looked there's like a new building
right there so it was like just to the
side of that and we couldn't see it
but it was kind of like towards the Yarra River.
And there's like a trail by our house where you can kind of walk down
and walk along the Yarra.
Does that mean you can work the angles around the building
or find a crevice in the building?
So I was like, it seems a bit creepy.
I don't really want to go down because it's like late at night.
And Torbz is like, oh, it'll be fine.
It's like it's the two of us. We're all good. Torbz is there. He's 6'4". He's buff. Yeah, late at night. And Torbz is like, oh, it'll be fine. It's like it's the two of us.
We're all good.
Torbz is there.
He's six foot four.
He's buff.
Yeah, he's huge.
Like it's fine.
Anyway, so I'm like, oh, I don't feel good about this.
Just wanted to go back inside.
Yeah.
And anyway, so we walk down to the Yarra and there is like this bridge there.
Perfect spot.
Great.
Like we actually walk down there.
We see the moon.
Like it was stunning.
Was it great?
It was stunning.
It really was.
I tell you what was more stunning?
Yeah.
Seeing a selfie of you being like me and Torbs out looking at the stars.
Yeah.
Well, because we never do anything else.
No.
So we have to document the occasion.
What's the point of leaving the house?
Otherwise I'd just stay inside.
And we get down there and people are standing on this bridge.
Yeah.
And there's probably like four sets of people there.
Right.
So there is.
So there was a bus on the streets.
Well, yeah.
It just happened to be the streets where you could actually see the thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not in the front of our bins.
So there's like a mum and dad with two kids and they're like all in their jammies.
Oh, that's cute.
So they've obviously said, oh, like little Timmy, little Annie,
we can go down there and watch it after bedtime.
Maybe they'll get a 50 cent cone from Maccas on the way home, whatever.
There is a guy on his own just enjoying it and having a beer.
Awesome.
Turns out maybe he wasn't there for the eclipse.
Maybe he just hangs out down there.
He was just walking past having a beer.
I'm like, what are we all looking at?
There's one couple taking it all in, standing there, kind of, you know,
looking and they've got their arms around each other
and they're just enjoying the ambiance.
Oh, beautiful.
And there's the last couple, aside from us, the last couple,
there's the lady is taking photos on this really big juicy camera.
Like, so she's obviously like fucking right into it.
Got the big lens out and whatever, yep.
And he is taking pics of her taking photos like on his phone.
So she's like lined up with the camera and he's like snapping
like action shots of her taking, you know what I mean?
So I'm kind of like, oh, that's really nice.
This is obviously like something they do together.
And was it at this point that you decided to take your selfie and kind go, hey, you're not the only one with a camera, dog?
We actually took our selfie away from everybody because I thought we'd look like fuckers.
Yeah, and you did. Yeah, and you were right. You were right.
And, you know, our face is lit with a street light, not like the moon, which is what we were
supposed to. Yeah. Anyway, so we finally get down there and because I'm thinking this is actually
going to be really quite romantic. But by the time we get down there, I'm thinking this is actually going to be really quite romantic.
But by the time we get down there, I'm flustered because I'm like, well, we missed the actual eclipse.
So we saw like the red moon, which was like sick.
But we missed the actual movement, which is what obviously the lady and her boyfriend were taking like juicy photos of.
Anyway, we get there.
I calm down. And I'm like, this actually is lovely and quite romantic because it's like juicy photos of. Anyway, we get there, I calm down and I'm like,
this actually is lovely and quite romantic because it's like it's dark,
there's like you can hear the Yarra River.
Like it was actually quite nice.
And the couple with the like juicy camera, the photography couple,
they're like chatting and giggling and kind of like she's like moving
and he's taking a photo.
And, you know, like they were really like,
hate to continue the space chat,
but like they were really in each other's orbit.
Like it seems.
That's a great space chat reference.
Thank you.
I feel like.
Are you an author?
That's beautiful.
Well, I have actually written a book that is available to pre-order now.
The link's in our bio.
Thanks for bringing it up.
But they're like chatting and giggling and, like,
you know when you're in a new relationship and you really, like,
move together?
Like, when you kind of move, the other person moves.
Hang on, when you're in the honeymoon phase?
Yo!
That's exactly right.
Everything's just perfect.
It was really lovely and cute.
And Torb's and I were staying there.
We got our arms around each other.
This other couple, they're, like, but this but this couple is like really vibing each other and the moon's going and
they're like, it was just lovely. Anyway, they continue chatting and giggling. We were probably
down there for like 15 or 20 minutes. They keep chatting and giggling and like, it's all fucking
lovely. And you know, you haven't had a fight yet. And, um, and I was kind of like, oh, maybe
should we head like pips at home? Like maybe we should head back. And I was kind of like, oh, should we head, like, Pips at home,
like maybe we should head back.
And then all of a sudden the guy in the photography couple goes,
so how should I get these photos to you?
What?
And the girl goes, oh, like maybe like via email or something like that.
And he goes, maybe Facebook Messenger.
And she goes, maybe I could give you my number and you could text them to me.
Hang on.
What?
They weren't a couple.
They weren't in the honeymoon phase.
They weren't.
Or maybe it was day one of the honeymoon phase.
Well, I think it might have been the honey night. Honey moon night.
Honey moon.
Honey red moon.
Wedding night.
I don't know.
Whatever.
Where'd you meet?
65,000 years ago.
Yeah.
So.
Maybe we could celebrate our anniversary with the next lunar eclipse.
I was having next week, so it doesn't matter.
Yeah, it would be fine.
Call 3AW, let them know.
So, like, Torbz and I witnessed.
Witnessed history.
The beginning of their, because I was like, okay, and I looked looked at Torbs and I'm like, they are definitely going to fuck.
Yeah, right.
So you could feel it.
Oh, my God.
It was electric.
And so it turns out, like, they didn't even know each other.
So he's got this big camera and she's probably like.
No, so she's got the big camera.
And he's like, oh, do you want me to take a couple of pics of you,
like, taking photos?
So you're saying it's a pick-up spot.
Yeah, they're, like, really vibing with each other.
Mooner Eclipses.
Mooner.
What are they called?
Lunar.
The Mooner Eclipse.
The Mooner Eclipse is the new dog park, which is the new place to pick up.
The new bar.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Bars, that's four phases ago.
Loon Bar.
There is a bar called Lunar in town.
Oh, is there?
Yeah.
Okay. But anyway, and this. Oh, is there? Yeah. Okay.
But anyway, and this guy's like tuning her.
She's tuning him right back.
Yeah.
They're like really violent.
I thought there were a couple.
Have you ever been in a situation where it's like that,
they haven't done it yet, but everyone, you just know.
And like you're at a house party and it's kind of cute,
but then it kind of gets to that point where you're like.
Just fuck.
Just fuck it, Maria.
Yeah.
We know what's going to happen.
You know.
She knows.
They all, everyone knows.
We all know.
We're all part of it.
And I want to see it.
And to be honest, part of the pun.
Not to say it.
But I'm here for it.
I'm rooting for you.
And I don't mean.
Yeah, when I get home tonight, I'll be thinking of you too. Because I'm rooting for it. I'm rooting for you. And I don't mean. Yeah, when I get home tonight, I'll be thinking of you too.
Because I'm rooting for you.
But, like, so we watched this thing happen.
That's beautiful.
It's incredible.
And they end up, like, exchanging numbers.
And she, like, is packing up her gear.
And he, like, picks up one of her bags for her.
And, like, he wasn't robbing her.
Don't worry.
But I'm pretty sure we saw, like, the bit.
And because I'm going down there and I'm like, this is so romantic.
How nice to spend this time with Torbs.
We ended up spending the whole time like watching them,
being like how sweet.
And then at the end we were like, oh, my God,
so do you think that they're going to call each other?
Like what's going to happen?
It was fucking lovely.
It was like such a special moment.
You know who would love to hear this story?
Who?
Dee Dee Dan Levy on 3AW.
Okay.
No, I'm not saying that I'm known, but, like, they're milking this.
Every day they've got a new angle.
So should I call them on?
Honestly, this is the shit I've been.
I might be able to get the podcast to plug.
Do you know what?
I should call up and go, hi, Dee Dee,
I was listening to this podcast called Tony and Ryan.
It's exclusive on Spotify.
It's hot, fun garbage.
And they were talking about the lunar blood eclipse.
But they did talk back about where did you watch it,
who did you watch it with.
Three days later they're like, let's talk about our memories of it.
And now a new twist.
That's quite beautiful.
You could call up and be like, no, imagine actually, even better,
imagine if you're listening and you hear this woman go,
well, I was taking beautiful photos of the lunar eclipse
down by the Yarra River.
Yeah.
And this guy never called me if he's listening.
He did run out.
And he stole my camera.
He stole my camera.
He's ghosted me and just like that moon, I won't see him for 65,000 years.
Hey, it's Nick from Melbourne and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
You can check it out at any time in the link in our bio.
There is also links to buy pre-order my book.
One of the great books.
I don't need therapy and other lies I've told myself.
Written by author Tony Lodge.
Author Tony Lodge.
Now available for pre-sale.
And also in our Patreon a little while ago,
for Australian tapas only, unfortunately,
we did a call out for people that wanted a sticker,
a sticker of the Tony and Ryan podcast, and we would love to see photos.
And there's also a couple of billboards floating around
in various parts of Australia at the moment.
Yeah, so we don't know where they are.
So if you see one, take a photo and put it in the group.
And let us know where it is because we would love to see them all
and we'd love to see your, like, I've seen a few, like,
selfies of people being like, like, I've seen a few, like, selfies of you. Yeah, I respect that.
With the poster, lunar eclipse, whatever, whatever you got,
send it through.
Yeah.
A big thank you, Kimberly Hiralal, Samantha Lord, what a lord,
Cole Moe, Paul Latimer, Sky Skipko and Sarah Hopkins.
Oh, Hoppy.
Anthony Hopkins' daughter.
Yeah, he's a big fan as well, I believe.
Yeah. He Hopkins' daughter. Yeah, he's a big fan as well, I believe. Yeah.
He loves the podcast.
Is that that movie?
It was something.
You know, like Silence of the Lambs and he goes like,
hello, Clarice.
And he's got the face on his face.
Is that where he's got the face on his face?
Yeah, he cuts the face off of the skin.
Oh, spoilers if you haven't seen it.
Yeah, mate, you've ruined that film.
Sorry.
It's a really good movie, though.
Is it?
I'm surprised you've watched it.
Yeah, it's spooky.
You're not a spooky movie person.
And it's spooky because she gets abducted,
which I'm not into because it's too realistic.
Yeah, yep.
Too realistic.
Yep, yeah.
I agree.
No, we're not doing scary movies. Even at Halloween I said I'd only do Coraline. Too realistic. Yeah. I agree. That's a good movie. No, we're not doing scary movies.
Even at Halloween I said I'd only do Coraline and that's pretty scary.
Well, speaking of movies, last week we go, hey,
next week's going to be unreal.
We're going to do movies about Paris and France.
Yeah.
And it was beautiful.
And it was actually movies.
Oh.
Yeah, but instead.
Well, I said to you what theme should we we do? And you said, just pick one.
Just pick one, whatever.
So Tony's done movies based on TV shows and everyone in the comments
has said, I thought we were doing Paris movies this week.
Yeah.
But what Tony meant was next week.
Yeah.
I'm really, that's my bad.
Well, it's no one else's bad.
But I did, I will say, while I'm copying saying that is my bad,
it was actually your bad because you said, well, I don't care.
Well, movies based on TV shows.
Charlie's Angels, Get Smart.
I love the original Get Smart when I was little.
The show.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My dad always used to, whenever he heard a phone ringing in the shop,
he would always take his shoe off.
That's fucking good gear.
Yeah, it's dad gear.
That is comedy. It's dad's dad gear. That is comedy.
It's dad's.
Dad's do that.
That is comedy.
Yeah, you can see where I got my genius from.
Simpsons movie, Miami Vice.
But the winner, 21 Jump Street.
Yeah.
One of my favourite movies.
I watch this more often than a Lunar Eclipse.
Really?
Yeah.
I feel like those two are in heaps of movies together.
Or are they in similar movies?
Similar kinds of movies.
Because they're so great together.
They are.
Even though they're like slapstick comedies,
you kind of forget like, oh, you guys are really good at this.
Like they're so funny.
Because you forget.
Yeah.
It's like when you hate a character in a movie,
you're like, oh, the actor's obviously really good.
Really good.
Yep.
Nailed it.
But the one big issue I think of the whole movie was.
What?
Is I feel like there was a reoccurring theme that was like maybe subtle but it's really
what the whole movie is about double strapping the backpack yeah yeah there was a lot of chat
about cool kids only single strap it yeah i believe channing tatum one stage said i'd zero
strap it if i could yeah but then it turns out that it is actually cool to double strap your backpack.
Now, can you think of, do you know a double strapper in your life?
Yeah, I do.
And it's Ryan Jonathan Dunn.
And have you ever questioned my double strapping?
No.
I questioned your shit backpack.
Oh.
The boss at Spotify, he was the one that said you shouldn't to strap your backpack.
And then Larry Ember on the TV.
Okay, so you got some pretty big wigs fucking calling you out here.
Larry Ember on national television, the head of Spotify.
Everyone's getting stuck into my double strapping.
But, I mean, obviously the head of Spotify is the one
who makes this happen.
Like we couldn't do this podcast if it wasn't for that.
Well, we couldn't do it without Larry Ember either.
Exactly right.
But what are they, both over 60?
No, just kidding.
I know that they're not.
Sheetburn.
I know that they're not.
Oh, no.
Jeez, mate.
You're going to take advice from me.
Hope you enjoy this year.
No.
Shout out to our new home.
We're moving from Spotify to Blockbuster.
No, we're moving from Spotify to the Yarra with the guy drinking the beer.
With the couple using his camera.
It was her camera.
Oh, it was her camera.
Well, it is now because he rolled it.
He's taken it.
But I just felt very vindicated.
Nice.
Because when it turns out Double Strappin's back, I was like, look at me.
Suck on that Ben from Spotify.
Cop that Larry Emder from Channel 7.
Cop that Tony Lodge.
Is that, you know, that movie came out in 2012.
Yeah.
So like 10 years ago.
So it's probably come back around that Two Straffons are not cool anymore.
Mate.
These things are cyclical.
It's like the lunar eclipse.
Every year or so things change.
Yes.
If you're not double strapped and stay at home.
Well, I too strap on my scooter.
Yeah.
I mean, you have to.
You're stupid not to.
And I don't like wearing only one strap because it makes me feel off kilter.
You're not symmetrical.
No.
And it's not good for your spine.
Do you remember at school, well, we were quite different graduating years.
Oh, yeah.
This is going to, yeah, go on.
Do you remember like satchel, like shoulder bags?
Are you ready to be fucked off?
What?
I never had a bag for school.
I just went.
Where was all your stuff?
I just left it in a classroom.
Did you have like a year 12 common room?
Oh, no, we didn't.
We had lockers at my high school.
Yeah.
So it was like you would go to school with your backpack,
then you'd put everything in your locker,
and then through the day you would only carry your books,
like you wouldn't carry them.
So there was this communal room where like all the year 12s would hang out.
What do they call that?
The common room. The common room.
Common room.
Yeah, well, so it kind of explains itself.
Yeah, it's very well named.
It's very well named.
Yeah.
Oh, so common room.
Yeah.
What's that for?
Only one person is in there.
Who's the one person?
So I just left my books just on a table in there.
And if I needed them, I'd go and grab them.
But I rarely did that.
I just had a pen in my pocket.
I'm pretty sure actually you've said about leaving books in the class.
Yeah.
Because I'm pretty sure that I said something along the lines of, textbooks are expensive.
And you're like, eh.
Yeah. And then people were like, oh, but then how do you take them home to read them? I
was like, well, you cut out a lot of that story. Everything you just said does not happen.
Yeah.
There is no reading of them.
There is no checking them.
There is no taking them home.
But so like what did you do like for lunch and stuff?
You didn't take lunch to school or like water bottle?
Like I'm actually not being a dick but like did you take lunch,
water bottle or like if you had homework that you had to do,
didn't you have to like bring it in with you or whatever?
I never did homework.
I think with water from the tap.
Into what? Just like into your mouth?
Yeah, you know those things you just push the thing down
in the schoolyard.
I can't believe I just had to explain a tap.
Or felt like I needed it. That's like a water
fountain or like a bubbler or whatever.
I bubbled. I was a bubbler.
And for food,
I don't know, I don't think I really ate much.
Maybe I walked home, got some food at lunchtime
oh were you allowed to leave school
no
I only got caught twice
in like five years so
you know
or one time they're like
where are you going
I was like oh home for lunch
I just lived just down the road
I'll be back
and they go okay
make sure you are
yeah
so there we go
double strapping.
But what about like was there ever anything else that you needed
or wished that you like?
Sometimes I would take runners and a spare shirt if I was doing volleyball.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
But then why not just put that in a bag?
What are you going to do with a bag?
Carry it around all day like a schmuck?
But like I just don't understand. I have changed my ways now because I'm now a backpack guy. Yeah, but you have to do with the bag? Carry it around all day like a schmuck? But, like, I just don't understand.
I have changed my ways now because I'm now a backpack guy.
Yeah, but you have to carry lots of things to and from the office.
I've got my laptop in bits and pieces and stuff, yeah.
I just don't have much stuff.
But I just can't imagine, and this isn't like, I don't know,
well, maybe actually this is a sexism issue
because women's clothes don't have facilities to carry things around.
I also went to high school during a cargo pant era.
Excessive pockets.
Oh, my God.
So what did you have?
Your fucking scientific calculator in one pocket and your protractor in the other?
You got one of those like graphics calculators in your back pocket.
Yeah, yeah.
No, the pockets were well used.
Right.
But you're right though, there is a gender issue when it comes to pockets.
Thank you.
So like when someone has to carry a handbag, it's out of necessity
because you can't put anything in your pockets.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I agree.
But also another point that I will say is that who's fucking always begging
for an antihistamine or a tissue when we're on the plane?
And who's got it?
Tony Lodge because it's in my handbag.
Do you know what I mean?
Okay.
Allergies are real bad in Melbourne at the moment.
Yeah, and I'll give you that because I suffer too.
I suffer.
We suffer.
And did we both
have an antihistamine this morning yes and where did that antihistamine come from it came from you
because mine were in my bag wow very accessible
i was like i use my antihistamine because you didn't want to walk seven steps
well you already had your thing yeah okay but where did you get your anti-Sweens from?
Don't.
Yeah, from my bag.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay, right.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
There's a thing emerging here.
Okay, we are from Big Bag.
We are pro-bag.
We are pushing Big Bag.
You've busted us.
We've got an agenda.
Yeah.
And that was the crux of 21 Jump Street.
Yeah.
What movie would you be watching?
Yeah, movies about Paris. I actually totally forgot we were supposed to do that. We'll of 21 Jump Street. Yeah. What movie would you be watching? Yeah, movies about Paris.
I actually totally forgot we were supposed to do that.
We'll do that next week.
Okay.
Unfortunately, the rap doesn't mention any bags.
Did you want to do a quick rewrite?
So do you want me to rewrite the rap?
Actually, I'll sneak it in with my like hype man.
Okay.
Because do you remember at Sesame Street there was that song like,
bags, bags, bags, they're very useful things.
If we didn't have bags, what would we use to put a lot of things in?
We should have just had that song instead of that whole previous chat.
That would have just summed it up perfectly.
Well, I just have.
Yeah.
Podcast over.
See you.
See you next Tuesday.
No, we've still got to wrap.
No, I can't do next Tuesday because I want to see the lunar eclipse.
It's on again.
I can't get enough.
It's been 74 years since last Tuesday.
All right, here she is, T-Lodge.
Here we go.
Movie about bags.
It's not about bags.
Bag lady.
One of my favourite movies this week.
The theme was movies based on TV.
Channing Tatum is streaming, as you know.
Doing drugs at school.
That's not cool.
Jonah and Channing help each other to thrive.
Love it when they get the cool car to drive.
They end up saving the day.
Jonah plays Peter Pan in the play.
I got something in my hands.
Back it up, dog.
Back, back, back, back, back, back, back.
I'll tell you one of the great plot twists is when they get the wrong classes.
Oh, yeah.
That's fantastic, isn't it?
It really is.
And when the phases of the drug taking and it's like the overconfidence phase.
And it comes up.
Yeah.
That was a great sequence.
Do you know who my favourite author is except for me?
Roald Dahl.
Bag of the Christie. I can't think of anything.
Do you want to have sex?
You can put your penis in my bag.
No.
More What's Your Favourite Movie is a bag to the future. The...
More, what's your favourite movie is a bag to the future.
Alright, do you have something that you love to see?
I do.
I mean, could you be any of that?
No, no.
Probably not.
My love to see it in my new hood is that my dog BJ's made a new friend.
Because, you know, when you move to a new town.
You just did the dog voice, which I love.
Yep.
Friend.
Got a new friend.
Because when you move to a new town, similar to when you're the new kid,
it's tough out there.
It's tough out there.
But he met a staffie named Terry.
Terry?
Yeah.
That's cute.
Yeah, and then you know how staffies, it's sort of almost like a bluey grey.
Yep.
Beautiful. So gorgeous. Unbelievable. It's like velvet. Yeah. Yeah, and then you know how stuffies, it's sort of almost like a bluey grey. Yeah. Beautiful.
So gorgeous.
It's like velvet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I was like, can I touch Terry?
Because it was that, like.
That's sweet.
So are the owners your neighbours or did you see them at the dog park?
Well, I don't know if it's like a dog park per se, but it happens.
It's a park with dogs.
Dogs go there.
Yeah.
At the end of the street. And so usually it's a park with dogs. Dogs go there? Yeah, at the end of the street.
And so usually at sunset there's a few little pups stretching their legs,
a few golden retrievers in the air.
That's cute. But Bron and Terry froze for laugh.
You do love to see that.
You do love to see it.
And I imagine people with children when they see their kid make a friend
on their first day at school.
And you kind of go, oh, oh.
That is so lovely.
It's Terry.
Oh, Terry.
You're welcome anytime.
We've got to come over for a plate.
I'll make cucumber sandwiches and play out the back, kids.
You'll be home by five.
Five o'clock was the standard time to be picked up.
Yeah, well, it can't be any later.
I'm putting dinner up. Yeah, oh, my God. Something with a calamari. Make your afternoon, but don standard time to be picked up. Yeah, well, it can't be any later. I've been putting dinner up.
Yeah, oh, my God.
Something with a calamari.
Make your afternoon, but don't want to ruin that dinner.
Shout out to Terry.
Shout out to Terry.
Good on you, Tez.
If you're listening.
T-Dog, literally.
My love to see it for today is this post that went a bit crazy, a bit viral on Facebook.
And it says, this is the caption,
not all heroes wear capes.
A woman was stripping the wallpaper in her home
and she found this note from the previous owner hidden behind it.
So they've pulled the wallpaper down and there's a note written on the wall.
Is it a treasure map?
Unfortunately, no.
But it might be even better than that.
I've never renovated a house, but I only imagine this would be helpful.
Okay.
If you ever need to wallpaper this room again,
it will take eight rolls of wallpaper.
I bought only six rolls at £17 per roll on 5th of the 12th, 1997,
and I didn't have enough.
It really fucked me off.
And it's signed off John, J-O-N.
My brother.
From the 21st of November, 1997.
Someone else's parents can't spell either.
How good is that?
And look at this.
It's like written in lead pencil.
It's eight rolls.
I only bought six.
That is fucking so good.
How sweet is that?
But also, I mean, the subtle undertones of this story is inflation's gone mad.
Oh, my God.
The fact he's plastered that up for, was it 17 bucks a roll?
17 pounds per roll.
Good luck getting that for under 50 now.
Oh, mate, you're telling me.
The inflation's gone mad and that's all to do with the economics in there.
I'm going to call Dede Dunleavy at 3 at Arby's and complain about the economy.
Fucking tell us about the economy and the lunar eclipse and the... Do you know what, though?
Food in schools.
You know, shit like that.
Shit like that.
How's the weather?
Yeah.
You wouldn't fucking believe it.
Call in with the traffic.
Well, is it the bum or the bureau?
I need to know.
The person who wrote that gets nothing out of it.
No, it is a purely selfless act and goes, you know what, that tip's going to help someone
because they're going to rip it off and go to try and do it again.
And they didn't need to do it.
If they didn't have time, they could have gone, oh, I could get away without it.
But no, they went, I'm going to write this down because five seconds from me now
is going to save someone else hours of hassle later.
And that's a good investment.
The only thing that I did think of, though, is that if you're at the point
of pulling the wallpaper down, you've probably already picked
and purchased new wallpaper.
Okay, next time write it on the outside.
Yeah, leave a post-it note maybe on the front and that would be better.
Have you also considered the fact that they've pulled down the wallpaper?
Yeah.
And it said, if you're getting more wallpaper, and they're like, I'm obviously not.
Wallpaper's fucking ugly.
But thanks for the hot tip.
But I mean, like the lunar eclipse, things are cyclical.
Maybe it's coming back. Wallpaper is fucking ugly. But thanks for the hot tip. But, I mean, like the lunar eclipse, things are cyclical. Maybe it's coming back.
Wallpaper is coming back. And literally just the other day when I was at your new Beyonce Airbnb,
you were like, oh, maybe we'll do a fun wallpaper in this room.
That is what you said.
I did say that.
You did say that.
Came out of your mouth.
Oh, I tell DB Dunlap, oh, fucking wallpaper's coming back.
Breaking news.
All right, we're getting out of here.
We've had enough.
My other you love to It is Talkback Radio.
It's who I am now.
Oh, save it.
Five episodes a week, mate.
Save You Love To See It.
Coming up tomorrow, what's my You Love To See It?
It rhymes with Schmorkback Radio and place your bets.
Tomorrow on the show, things you can say at Starbucks
and also in the bedroom.
You love to see that.
You do fucking love to see that.
I'd love a coffee, actually.
Maybe we should go get some bucks now and spend some bucks on some bucks.
Buck it up, dog.
Love you, bye.