Toni and Ryan - Ryan's Real Estate Rant

Episode Date: November 2, 2021

Ryan HATES something he's seen in houses and he needs to get it off his chest! And I have to complain about something too. Shocker. Love you so much!!! Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hello, is that Evan? It is. It's Tony and Ryan. How are you? Oh, fantastic. Have we just woken you up? I was actually trying to stop my cats from fighting.

Sorry. Oh, well, sorry if we've interrupted that. So, Evan, where do we find you? Where in the world are you at the moment? Currently in Virginia. Like the ham. Is that? Oh, Tony.

Sorry. Hey, is Virginia and Virginia Beach, I know this might sound like a dumb question, are they like two different places or is it one and the same? Virginia Beach is in Virginia, probably about half an hour from where I currently am. Oh, okay. So it's not like Venice and Venice Beach. Totally different.

Yep. Good. Thank you. Because I've been to Virginia Beach. One of my good friends when I lived in the US was from there and I went and stayed with his family for a weekend and stuff. Oh, that's quite cute. I went to a college party there and I don't remember any of it.

Oh, man. It was fantastic. Lovely. How did you find the podcast, Evan? TikTok, actually. TikTok. Interesting. Nice.

Well, thank you so much for joining us and being part of the pod and, you know, jumping on with us today. And obviously we're calling you because we're about to start recording and we wanted to know if you wouldn't mind giving approval for today's episode. Oh, I would love to approve. Oh, my God. Amazing.

Thank you so, so much. And, I mean, Ryan actually was saying before we jumped on the phone that he had a great joke for you, Evan. So get ready. Are you ready for the joke? Are you joking? Are you? He's always ready.

Evan's ready for the joke. Evan's ready for the joke. Are you joking? Why are you? He's always ready. Evan's ready for the joke. Evan's ready for the joke. So here we go. My grandfather has the heart of a lion. Yeah. And a lifetime ban from the zoo. Are you sympathy laughing at me? I think that's quite funny. Actually? Yeah. Okay, I'm glad. I'm glad.

That was just for you, Evan. Prepared special. I appreciate it. No worries. Forever. Hey, this is Evan from Virginia, and I approve this podcast. Fucking touch me. And welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. You heard some aggressive language from Tony there to kick us right off,

so I apologise for that. But thank you so much for listening. We do really appreciate it. Someone posted in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group the other day, which you can find the link in our Instagram and TikTok bios, when Tony swears really early on in the episode it's going to be a dirty one. Oh, so is it going to be a dirty one today?

Well, if they're the Oracle, they know. I don't know. Well, the Oracle is right because I've got another funeral director goes on a date story and that is probably the different kind of dirty. Okay. But it's a date story, and that is probably the different kind of dirty. Okay. But it's a filthy story. Or filthy?

Filthy. Like dirty, like sexy filthy? Filthy. Yeah. Okay. Filthy. All right. And I need to talk about how good it feels when your partner

or your mate or someone you know gets on their high horse and then fucks up. Yeah. It's the best. It's so satisfying. Because I'm such an arsehole that I love it when other people are wrong. All right, so that's coming up shortly. But first of all, do you believe, Tony and you listening,

in love after love, in the concept of the forever home? Have we talked about this before? I think we have, yeah. So for me, my wife and my wife Bridget and I, we are looking for our forever home and I say that term in terms of we want to live in it for the rest of our lives. We want to have kids in it. We're not like looking for a, oh, that's what we just need at the moment. Like this is our forever home. And I love that concept because it's not a house, it's a home.

And some people are a bit like, oh, but, you know, life changes and you move around and it just is. No, no, no. I want this to be my forever home. No more moving. If the family grows bigger, we'll build another room or something. I don't know, but this is the forever home. Yep.

Do you like that concept or are you? It doesn't have to be about kids and family necessarily. It just means like this is this is it i do i like the idea and i understand why people have that thing of like oh this is our route like we're putting the roots down kind of thing but so for instance just then you said it's not a house it's a home and this sounds super cheesy but everywhere that i live with torbs is a home yeah yep and we aren't super crazy on buying a house. Obviously if our situation really changes,

then that would be different, i.e. if we earn a shit tonne more money, then we would think about buying something. But we're kind of just like, fuck, we just love being together wherever we are works for us. But I totally get wanting to be like, yeah, let's buy something and just it's ours. We can renovate it. You know, you look at the backyard, you go,

one day if we want to put in a pool, there's enough room. That kind of shit. Yeah, love it. Forever home. And whilst I'll put a little asterisk here, I love that concept of wherever I'm with. Like, so I don't feel like Bridge and I, where we are now, is like not a home.

Yeah. But I just know I'm not going to be there forever. No, I get you, mate. And I know my mate Dave, his house, three kids, mum, like it's been in their family for 30 years. Everyone's been over there. I would have stayed there like 100 times, you know, and it really is like, oh, everyone's been over to the Parsons.

Oh, Dave's, yeah. Oh, God. I love that, yeah. And every time I drive past, I'm like, oh, that's, you know, that's the Parsons' house, you know. So I want that for us. So because we've come out of lockdown, inspections are back on, you can view places because I guess the property market didn't stop,

but when you're in lockdown, you're not going to buy a house off the- You're not going to buy a house you've only seen online. Just put your credit card in here, use the code. Literally. First time buyer for 10% discount. But going back and inspecting a few houses, I've made a decision. I've formed an opinion. You found a house you want to buy?

Not yet. Oh. But I've got beef. Oh, okay. So the inspections have been open for a week again and you've already got a problem. Love that. Yeah, what is it?

Two-way bathrooms. It's a massive no from me. What's that? No, what is it? Two-way bathrooms. It's a massive no from me. What's that? No, thank you. The bathroom where it's like it's the family bathroom, but there's also a door to the master. Oh, fuck off. Thank you.

Fuck right off. Thank you. I'm so glad you're with me on this. No, fuck off. Huge no from me. Absolutely no. I'm already anxious enough when I have to go to the toilet and sit down there and guard the door.

So what's going to hurt that anxiety? What's going to make it even worse? Two fucking doors. We'll put another fucking door on the other side. So I'm concentrating on this door. I'm going to make sure no one's coming through that door. That door. With all this going on, how am I supposed to do what I'm in there

for the first place? Yeah, it's like you expect someone to come through the roof next. It's fucked. A three-way bathroom. I'm glad you're with me on this. But I want to know, who are they trying to fool? This is what I think that they expect happens. Walking along in the inspection.

Yeah. Oh, there's a bathroom in here. Bathroom, great. Looks pretty nice. Yeah, nice. Oh, shower. Carl, I'm going to check out the master. Walks around into the master.

Carl, you're not going to believe it. Another bathroom. There's another fucking bathroom. Yeah, nice. Oh, shower. Carl, I'm going to check out the master. Walks around for the master. Carl, you're not going to believe it. Another bathroom. There's another fucking bathroom. For this price, it's got a bathroom and an en suite. Yeah. Is that what they think we're doing? I think so. Do they think that's what we think?

I think they think we're idiots. Well, first of all, they could be right. But not on this one. Not this one. You have not got me fooled. Putting an extra door in a bathroom doesn't mean you've got two bathrooms. It just means you've got more things to keep your eye on when you're trying to take a shit.

Yeah, more access points. I don't like it either. I'm so glad you brought this up. I didn't know it was called a two-way bathroom though. Does it make sense? It's named as it is on the tin, you know what I'm saying? It totally, totally does. Yeah, oh, it just so.

Can I go a step further or are you ready to get wound up as well? Oh, well, I was just going to say that when I was younger, my friends from school, Lauren and Alex, who I then worked with at Coles after I went to school. In the deli? Yes, in the deli, yes. Their family home, so their mum and dad's bedroom was like up in the end and they had like an en suite and stuff.

Yep. And then the shared bathroom, so like the bathroom if they had company over or whatever, the toilet was separate but then the bathroom which had like the sink where you would wash your hands and stuff had like a main door. But then Alex's bedroom had a door to the bathroom as well, like a sliding door. Yeah, right.

No. So weird. So it's not even like an en suite for the parents or whatever. It was just like a random extra door to the bathroom from his room. How weird is that? That is so weird. And there's a new thing, and very specific, not many people from Australia actually listen to our podcast.

On the block at the moment, there is one of the houses has, like say it's the two kids' rooms or whatever, they both have a door straight into the bathroom and there's no main entrance. So it's a two-way bathroom. But if you are a guest and you want to go to the bathroom, you have to go through their bedroom. You can go through either bedroom, but you still have to go through a bedroom. That's fucking weird. No way. No way. What if you're asleep? What if both of the children were asleep? Well, this is the thing with the two-way bathroom, right? Say you've got a two-way bathroom at your house and I'm, like, staying in the spare room for whatever reason.

Yeah. And then in the middle of the night. You'd be in the master with me. Hey, Torb's getting the counts, champion. See ya. This room's full of my dick. Ooh. So then in the night.

Yeah. I go from the spare room to the bathroom. Are you asleep, like, a metre from me? And I'm, like, pissing. Is the sound of my piss going to wake you up? Or, you know when you wake up, you really need a wee and you're like trying to keep as much asleep as you can. I don't want to wake myself up.

You don't want to wake all the way up. So you're just like, you know, sauntering to the bedroom, into the bathroom. You're in there peeing because you're a guest. All good. That's totally fine. And I'm like fucking half asleep and I've got my nightie on but one of my boobs are out or something, then what?

I fucking walk in there, see your penis, I've got one boob out. So awkward. Like, eh! Do I? Yeah, that's a no from me. I also just can't imagine living in a house, like sharing a bathroom with my parents. Really?

Like, you know, like a one-bedroom house. Yeah. As you get a bit older. One-bathroom house. Sorry, excuse me. Yes like a one-bedroom house. Yeah. As you get a bit older. One-bathroom house. Sorry, excuse me. Yes, one-bathroom house. As you get a bit older, I can't imagine that the old mum and dad would want to share the bathroom with their children.

Why is that? I don't know. It just is weird to me. Really? I feel like there's something you're not saying. No, I just feel like it's all like the mum and dad have a bathroom, maybe they have a bath together or something. Like that's not my thing.

Torbs is too long. I've heard. Yeah, so it's not my thing. Are you implying you can't be doing it in the bath if other people are using the bath? I think so. There's been horror stories about that. Sorry?

At your house? No, no, no. Just, you know, it's something you'd read on the Daily Mail or something for Florida where someone has finished up in the bathroom and then someone else has had a bath later and become pregnant with their cousins, brothers. Is that a thing? There's been some stories, that sounds made up that's fucked okay i don't like that at all i was gonna put another thing out there yes oh another one

in general yes en suites yay or nay yay fucking love an en suite makes me feel like a grown-up i agree with the theory and i love the idea of mum and dad having their own bathroom. For me, I would love that we just had our own bathroom at that end of the house. And sure, it might be next to the bedroom. But it doesn't have to be connected. It doesn't have to be connected. And I'd actually prefer it not to be. And Bridget just said I don't want you to poop in our bedroom. I'd rather there be a wall in between and you just have to do an extra couple of steps.

And I'm happy to take an extra couple of steps because I'm the same. Like, I don't want to be in there being like, I also sleep right there. Yeah. This is harrowing what I'm doing in here. And when I use the toilet. Yeah. I like an en suite. But, like, so our house at the moment,

there's quite a long hallway. Yours is a perfect because there's still enough room between. And there's a door as well. Like there's some en suites that don't have a door, which is a bit random. I think it was before we started the podcast, Bridget and I went to Phillip Island and stayed in an Airbnb. Yeah, it was.

And it was this, I get what they're trying to do. It was stunning. Stunning. Absolutely gorgeous. The en suite had this beautiful bath, a glorious big shower, and it had a toilet there obviously as well. And I think the appeal of having a big sexy bathroom. Big open plan thing. It didn't have a wall. So, you know, when you're in the bath, you can just waltz over from the bath into the bedroom and vice versa. Fuck. Sorry. I've never been that aggressive about sex in my life.

Well, first of all, anyone who's watched you on Instagram knows that's not correct. Sorry. But I appreciate the apology. Yep. I get the sexy bath. But that's the thing, right? And it looks beautiful and it was a stunning look. But then there was a toilet there and I'm like,

you can't use that toilet because it's like sitting in the middle of a room and Bridget's just sitting in bed having a cup of tea. You're like, oh, sorry, mate. You're just taking a shit. What are you doing? Yeah, I know. It's so strange. Yeah.

Have a separate toilet bit or something. Yeah. No, so I like an en suite, but, yeah, the open plan thing for a weekend away, like I get it, but still it's. Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot. Anyway, to conclude my property inspection chat, I can't afford any of the things I've talked about because I live in Melbourne

because they're like, oh, you want two bathrooms? That'll be $5 billion. Yeah, this is all purely hype. So Melbourne's open. We're back, baby. Shops are open. We're back. This is just the most ridiculous thing I've ever complained about.

But I think... We'll see. We've got a few to choose from. Mate. Yesterday I said to Torbs, hey, how about I go and organise us some lunch? Lovely. It must be nice to have free time on a weekday, Tony. It fucking was.

It fucking was. Lovely. It must be nice to have free time on a weekday, Tony. It fucking was. It fucking was. So whenever Torbs goes to the shop, he'll ask me for a detailed list beforehand. Really? He'll go, what do you want? What do you want me to get?

And I'll be like, oh, mate, we just need dinner for two nights this week because we're doing HelloFresh next week. Oh, look at you go. Credit. And he'll go, well, what do you want to have? And I'll go, oh, fuck like the weather's going to be cold so do you want to do like a curry and like you know like something warm and hearty the warmest and he's like so those two things and i'm like oh mate like i don't mind since we've started the podcast yep i when we first started it ended up up being that we would take up a full Saturday

doing this, which is great. But then on a Sunday, I'd be like, fuck, then I've got to do the food shopping and do all the other shit that you've got to do on the weekend. I had a bit of a fucking meltdown and I said, please, can you do the shopping while I'm recording just so that I don't have to worry about it the next day? Yeah. Just kind of a side note, Tony and I both have full-time jobs and we record and do all this stuff on the weekends and stuff.

So as fun as it is, shit gets busy and not a lot of spare time. It's like two full-time jobs basically. So like as soon as we finish our day jobs, we are like on the phone together talking about the podcast, cutting videos. I cut all the episodes of the pod. Like it's fucking busy. It's great but it's fucking busy it's great but it's fucking busy yeah anyway so i said can you please just go and do the food shopping just like please

just take that off my plate yeah he said oh yeah great can you write the list out i was like mate can you please just take this out of my brain i I just don't want to fucking think about it. The reason I've asked you to do this is because I don't want to do it. Question. Question. What's more annoying, writing and thinking about the list or actually going to the shops with the list? Okay, I'm going to fucking raise you. Putting the shopping away.

Oh, please. It didn't even need to be on the list because clearly the fucking worst part of the whole journey. The best part, obviously, is putting it away in your face. Yeah. But putting it away in the cupboards, that's a big no. Yeah, it's like doing the washing and hanging it out is fine, but folding it up and putting it away can get absolutely fucked.

Okay, anyway. I'm with you on that. Yeah, thank you. So, anyway, he needs his fucking detailed list. It really fucked me off. Anyway, so yesterday it's lunchtime and I was like, hey, mate, like I'll walk over to Coles and grab some shit for lunch. What do you want?

He goes, surprise me. Oh, no, no. And I was like, bro, like what do you want? There's a fucking billion things at Coles. And then I was like, oh, there's like a sushi place. Do you want me to get? Where you live has anything you want within walking. It's so great. It's great. I was like, oh, there's like a sushi place. Do you want me to get? Where you live has anything you want within walking. It's so great.

It's great. I was like, do you want sushi? I think there's like a road there. So they've got like cold Vietnamese rolls and shit. There's a subway. Like there's all this shit. And he's like, surprise me. Did you guys do the scene from The Notebook?

I haven't seen The Notebook. Do you want the trolls to come for you? Are you joking? You surely have seen the meme of the famous scene. The kissing in the rain thing? Yeah, but just before that when he's like, tell me what you want. Oh, no, I don't know what that is.

Sorry. Rest in peace, Tony's DMs this week. Please continue. Right. I can't wait till Wednesday. Anyway, he goes, surprise me. And I was like, mate, do you understand that when you go to the shops, you need a fucking detailed fucking floor plan, list, game plan.

Blueprints of the sewerage system in the place. I've just gotten so angry I've coughed. Yeah, now you take a sip. I just have a sip from my Frank Green water bottle. Yeah, just have a sip from your Frank Green. He needs all this information, right? Yep. It's mission impossible.

It's fucking, it is fucking impossible. And then I said to him, like, mate, like, just tell me what you want. And he was like, like, I'm not really that needy when I go to shops. And I was like, fuck off. Mate, off. You are so needy. You are taking the piss. Anyway, so I was like, oh, look, it's really cold and rainy.

What about I get like a hot chicken or like one of those little porks from Coles? You know how they've got them in like the warmer? I was like, I'll get some rolls. We can make some gravy. We'll just have like roast pork and gravy rolls. It's a bit naughty. A little mustard in there.

Oh, delicious. It's a bit naughty, but like it's fucking raining. The weather's shit. Yeah. He goes, oh, that sounds amazing. And I was like, yeah, no fucking thanks from you, mate. No help from you. It is amazing because I thought of it and put some hard work in.

Exactly. And I contribute to this household. Exactly. And he was like, I'm not that needy at the shops. I was like, mate, not only do you need me to do all of the groundwork before you go, he would text me. So once he went and got ham and salad and rolls for lunch. Great. I was like, just get some white rolls, all good. So once he went and got ham and salad and rolls for lunch.

Great. I was like, just get some white rolls, all good. And he messages me while he's there and he goes, hey, they've got like the small ones or the big ones, which ones do you want? And I was like, just get the small ones. Did you want the grains or the seeds? Mate, doesn't matter.

Brown bread or white bread? Yeah, white bread's all good. What sort of ham did you want? And then so he hangs up, like he texts me and I'm like, yeah, all good. Then a minute later I get a fucking phone call. Hey, I'm at the deli. Which ham did you want? Oh, and then so he hangs up, like he texts me and I'm like, yeah, all good. Then a minute later I get a fucking phone call. Hey, I'm at the deli. Which ham did you want? And I'm like, fucking hell.

You're a pogan. Get the champagne ham for Christ's sake. Champagne ham's like $22 a kilo. Calm down, mate. How many? Do you get a thin slice or a thick cut? Thin, shaved. I like a shaved ham.

I've heard. Anyway, and then he walks down the thing and he goes, oh, hey, mate, I'm at the milk now. What milk did you want to get? If I wanted to make these fucking decisions, I would have fucking gone by myself. Exactly. I'm with you, bro. This sounds harrowing.

So I'm telling you. We watch scary movies for Halloween, but this is by far scarier or more terrifying. Anyway, so I'm like, he was like, I'm not that bad. And I told him that story. I was like, when you're at the shops, you call me like three or four times to double check what I want you to get. I go to the shops. I get all the shit.

I come home and I was like, oh, like got all this lunch. He's like, see, it's like annoying going to the shops. I was like, it wasn't. I just needed to know what you wanted me to get because you saying surprise me is actually so fucking unhelpful. me is actually so fucking unhelpful. Two hours later, he had a click and collect at JB

Hi-Fi. A click and fucking collect. He's just gotten a new phone. He messages me when he's at JB Hi-Fi and goes, oh, the shops have just opened up. So because yesterday at 6 p.m.

Retail back open, baby. Retail came back open in Melbourne. We've been closed all this time. We have. And he goes, I'm here to pick up the click. So he talks to me about picking up the click and collect before he goes. He walks over to pick up the click and collect. Yep.

He calls me. What is there to ask? What's there to fucking ask me? What do you do? You've already clicked. Now you collect. It's a two-step process and you've already done one of them. What's my last name again?

I need to tell them to pick up the thing. Do I spell Torbs T-O-R-B-S or T-A-U-B-S? And then I was like, what? I was tinting my eyebrows. I was waxing my moustache. I didn't want to fucking deal with it. You had a busy day, obviously. You didn't need this

What do you want? And he goes Do you think I should go and buy a new phone case while I'm here? And I was like Bro, yeah, if you want to Do you need one? Do you want one? If the answer to those questions was yes

Then fucking do it And if they were no Then maybe no is your fucking answer I know And I was like Oh, bro, if you want to And he goes Oh, what do you reckon? I was like Well And I was like, oh, bro, if you want to. And he goes, oh, what do you reckon?

I was like, well, they're probably going to get cheaper if you want to wait. He was like, great point. I won't do it. Fine. And then he goes, oh, and I'll just grab some stuff from Coles as well while I'm here. We realised that we didn't have some of the stuff that we needed for dinner.

Like we needed some eggs for our dinner. So cool. He goes to the shops. This story isn't for you, Randy. Calls me again. No. Mate, I've got the eggs, but do you want some ice cream or something? I was like, yeah, mate.

Sounds good. Sounds great, actually. Thanks for thinking of me. What kind of ice cream should I get? Are you fucking kidding me? So then, right, I text, I can fucking show you the message. I can see it on your face. Who would you say is in charge in your relationship?

Who's the boss? Who's the CEO of Tony and Torbs Incorporated? I am probably more decisive. You reckon after this story? He needs the board to sign off? Here's the, should I grab the phone case now too? Yeah, if you want, unless you want to wait to get it cheaper. He said, yeah, good point.

Pointless. And then I said, see, lots of check-ins while you're at the shop. And then he said, sorry for sharing my life with you. I'll never do it again. Classic move. Who hasn't said that line at some stage in their life though? You said that to me earlier though? You said that to me earlier today. You said that to me. You are this person. But then, so he gets home and I was

like, mate, you asked me so many questions. Do you see now what I meant that when you go, just surprise me, it's actually impossible because you asked me 20 questions while you were three minutes away. Like it's all good. And he was just like, oh, well, sorry. Like just wanted to make sure I got all the right stuff. No, mate. Make a fucking choice. There's three things going through people's minds right now. That I'm a bitch?

No. Oh, thank you. I mean, not a bitch, but first of all. Yeah. How are you? Are you okay? I'm fine. Second of all, Torbs listens to this podcast.

He's an important part of my life, your life, Bridget's life. We're all a big family here. We are, yeah. What's he going to be like when he hears this episode? What is he going to be like? He'll be fine, I think. He'll say, I don't care if you say things as long as they're funny, as long as people get a laugh out of it.

This is not funny. I was going to say, we're waiting for a punchline, bro. Yeah, there's no fucking punchline. This is my life. The third thing that people are going to think, thank you, Tony Lodge, for saying what we've all been living through and what we've all been going through this whole time. I'm glad to know I'm not alone because my boyfriend's also a fucking idiot. But just, like, saying so. My wife is listening to you now being like, what? I know this guy.

This sounds so familiar. But, like, I think people think it's so cute to be like, just surprise me. But it's actually fucking not. I'm going to the shops not to fucking, like, going on a holiday and, like, oh, I'll bring you back something cute. Like, I'm going to the shops not to fucking like going on a holiday and like, oh, I'll bring you back something cute. Like I'm going to the shops. I want to be there for as little time as possible.

I want to go up the aisle that I need to go up. I'm not fucking wandering around. No. Yeah, no, I feel you, bro. I think I sound like a massive bitch right now, but I just like I called him out and I was like, mate, that's not easy. And then literally not two hours later, he did the same thing. He did the same thing that I told him he was going to do.

No, we feel you. We feel you. All right, here's what we're going to do. Okay. We're going to hear from the improver again real quick. We're going to play a little bit of music. Yeah. I'm going to get you a peppermint tea.

We're just going to. Maybe do a bit of a spot of yoga. A bit of a spot of yoga. We're going to downward dog each other. Oh, fuck. Then do some yoga. Yeah. Then I've got a story to tell you that will make you think that maybe

Torbs isn't the worst partner in the world, maybe just top two. All right, that's up next. Hey, this is Evan from Virginia. You're listening to Tony and Ryan. A quick shout out to everyone who signed up to our Patreon in October. When we recorded this, we still weren't finalised of October. It takes a few days extra to see how many. But basically, for every one person that signed up,

we're going to eat one nugget in a sitting. It's over $6.50, getting close to $700. Anyone can watch this happen. It's going to be a live stream. So in the next few weeks, we'll let you know when it's on, if it's in the Facebook group or YouTube. It'll be someplace that's really easy and accessible, but that's on the way.

Thank you to everyone who supported us in the Patreon. We text each other every day and go, can you believe this? Can you believe this? Yeah. Can you believe people are watching the YouTube? Can you believe how many people are watching, listening to the podcast? We really appreciate it. And a few people have said, hey, I really love you guys. I'm not really in a position to support it.

Also totally fine. The podcast is always going to be free, easy to watch, easy to listen to. We just love that you're listening. It really helps us and it's actually changing our lives. So the fact that people do it is mind-blowing. So a few people to say thanks to. And also we don't bring it up to make people feel guilty.

We just want to say thanks to the people that are contributing. Rainus Beardsons, thank you so much. Rebecca Hojnowski, thank you. Hojnowski. Ryan Nielsen. Sounds a bit like Ryan Nielsen. John. No, it doesn't.

No. Even Galampos Christensen. Thank you so much. Victoria Harseba. Do you want to go now, mate? Do you want to read some? David Wilson. Shout out to David Wilson.

Peter Montez. Andrew Gray. And someone who we've mentioned before, but we've obviously talked about The Big Deal a few times. The Big Deal. Have you seen The Big Deal in the supermarket, that video? No. So big deal's partner, she's filming and she goes, oh, look out guys, we're about to see something pretty crazy. And she's filming the big deal go into the deal aisle

and pick up a big deal. So it's the big deal holding a big deal. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. What? So it's a video that the Big Deal posted. The Big Deal's partner? Yeah. She filmed The Big Deal picking up a big deal. Where's that? Did you not get sent that?

No. Oh, maybe I did. They tagged me on Instagram. Did they tag you? I don't know. I'm just looking now. That's awkward. Sorry, Jade Dillingham from the US.

That's a real shame for them. I love The Big Deal. We chat. Come on, Tony, youham from the US. That's a real shame for them. I love the big deal. We chat. Come on, Tony, you're better than that. Hey, an unofficial theme of this podcast has been horrific first dates. Is that fair? I mean, have you just heard the story that I told about my boyfriend? That's not a first date.

It's just horrific. Any dating stories. So a while ago we heard about a funeral director who didn't tell the girl he was taking out on a first date. He rocks up with a hearse. And he said, I'll pick you up in the work car. She didn't know what he did. It was a first date, Tinder.

Oh, yeah, you know, a bit of vibe. Yeah, let's go out and have dinner. Yeah. The work car rocks up with a hearse with a body in it. Says, I need to drop something off at the office. Drops the body off and then proceeds to go on a first date. We set up the time and I stand by it. Funeral director, very important job, very important part of life.

But. Give him a heads up. Heads up. It's like a. Especially if Aunty Norma's going to be in the back. You've got to say something. So, Anthea messages through. Hi, Anthea.

She goes, just catching up on the podcast, I'm a funeral director myself and when I heard the funeral story, you know, my ears pricked up and I thought I'd share something with you. Now, one thing I know about Anthea that no one can ever. Is that she's a funeral director? Yep. Well, a few things I know about her, but she's a hard worker. She's earned where she is in this world because she isn't afraid

of a little bit of hard work. Give them hell. At one stage, she was a funeral director by day and an undertaker by night. Digging graves is what an undertaker is, isn't it? I thought that was the person that, like, if they passed away, they would physically come and collect the body from. Let's Google it.

Let's make sure. Okay. Surely you wouldn't be digging the grave in the night. Wouldn't that be a grave digger? I thought that they were called an undertaker. Oh, no, it's just come up with the... The picture of the guy with the cape and the fork. The guy from WFC or whatever.

What is and... The wrestler. Yeah. What did you think I meant? Who's the guy in the cape who just represents death in cartoons? Okay. I don't... Oh, the Grim Reaper.

Yeah, that's right. What the fuck? Undertaker, a person whose business is preparing dead bodies for burial or cremation and making arrangements for funerals. I thought that an Undertaker was someone that dug up graves, but also isn't what I just described then, isn't that a mortician? Yeah. I mean, a lot of crossover.

The one thing we're learning about Anthea is that she's comfortable with that area. Yes. She's working hard. She's doing two jobs. She's trying to get involved. And like we said, such a big part of your story. Like these jobs aren't, you know, weird or odd.

It's like such an important thing for people to be part of. Because I was working two jobs, because I was working hard, I was running off barely any sleep. And I rarely had time for myself, rarely had time to go on dates because your whole life is just working and sleeping, I guess. I finally agreed to go on a date just for a quick coffee, but I said to the guy, hey, it's sort of between work, I'm going to be in my work clothes, it'll just be a quick coffee, then I have to race off back to, it's sort of between work. I'm going to be in my work clothes.

It'll just be a quick coffee. Then I have to race off back to work. Is that okay? He goes, yep. And she said her work clothes were just like a bit of a lady suit. It wasn't like an overtly like funeral thing. She just looked like, in inverted commas, a professional. Yeah. So on the date, we're having a coffee and we're chatting and I noticed that he gets a bit, and I notice that he gets a bit standoffish, a bit unsure, and she's like, you know, if I said something wrong. Not getting a good vibe. Are we just not clicking?

Yeah. Have I set a red flag and he's just decided no? And then he finally says. Oh, my God, she had a dead body with her. At the cafe, just in her handbag. His mouth opens wide in shock horror. And finally she just goes, What is it?

Mate, what's going on? And he said, there's a maggot in your hair and I can't stop looking at it. And he kind of points to it and she goes, oh, sorry, and kind of tries to brush it away. It was from a body she had collected earlier in the day that maggots had engulfed. And then one of the maggots didn't make it into the bag or the whatever and it got into her hair and just sat there. And she said, I'm so sorry. didn't make it into the bag or the whatever, and it got into her hair and just sat there. Yeah.

And she said, I'm so sorry. You know, she left. She's like, oh, you know, I'm going to go back to work. I'll have a shower. I'm sorry that you had to see that. He never called back for a second date. Fucking fair enough. Yeah.

Surely. Yeah. Anthea, you cannot hold that against him. That's pretty fucking gross. I understand that it's just like the line of work that she's in, so she's like, that's normal, happens all the time, she brushed out of her hair. Yeah.

Fuck no. Fuck no. Because in any other job, would that be okay? Say you and I went on a date, you're like, oh, I'm a radio announcer, and I'm like, hey, bro, there's a fucking maggot in your hair. Not okay. I can confirm that Anthea is now in a happy, healthy relationship. She met someone else and it all ends well.

And they had maggots in their hair as well, so I had something to check that out. Something in common. Imagine that. Thanks for sharing your story, though. Yeah, thank you, Anthea, but that's fucked. This is my favourite you love to see that we've ever had. Oh, what is that?

Or that I've ever brought to the table. Okay. And it's just a random fact that I never knew, and I just love it. A flock of flamingos is called a flamboyance. Love that. How good's that? I loved it when I saw that. Now, I want you to pretend, Tony,

that you're Freddie, the head of the flamboyance, your head of the group. This is what you sound like. Caw-caw. Caw-caw. Would have also accepted you speaking in English just for the sake of it. But no, no, it's fine.

You love to say that. Oh, sorry. I just assumed you wanted a bird noise. I was more expecting a, Hi, I'm Flamboyant Freddy and I'm the head of the Flamboyants. I went, caw-caw. It was a sassy caw-caw. Hey, it went something looser.

Okay. Ages ago, during a You Love To See It, I gave a recommendation of following the hashtag dog grooming on Instagram. Yes, yep. Heaps of great feedback about that. People love the dog grooming hashtag. Yeah, it's great. I've got another one.

Hashtag satisfying. Follow it. It's amazing. Is that like when they use like a high-pressure water thing to... Yep. I love that shit. Yeah, that kind of thing. Like heaps of balloons like blown up together

and then cutting through them. Like just amazing. And it's so relaxing. Like ASMR shit. Yeah, yeah. You know how when they do all the scores in the soap? Go on. And then pull it like and then you know the thing that I'm talking about?

So you get like the cake of soap. Say cake again. Cake. Cake of soap. And they put like the lines in it with their razor and then they peel it all off. Oh, my God. It's amazing.

All that kind of stuff. Hashtag satisfying. Satisfying. I do love to see that too. It's very good. You're going to love it. You're not going to be disappointed with what you see. Thank you so much for listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast.

It's been a great week. It's been a great week. Yeah. Except for when you accused me of not liking you earlier. You win some, you lose some. If you are listening on a podcast app, they're all a bit different. Some say subscribe, some say follow. Hitting that button actually makes a huge difference for us. thank you and leaving reviews stuff like that thank you so much for

listening we'll chat to you next time love you bye