Toni and Ryan - Ryan's Shaking & Toni's Cooking
Episode Date: September 19, 2021I don't think fish should go in a dishwasher but apparently people disagree. And Ryan does something with his butt in his house that other people might do too? Have your say in our Facebook Group! Lo...ve ya! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Question, Tony Lodge.
Yes.
Are we starting with the phone ringing or is there music or us first?
No, I'm doing the phone.
Okay.
I like it.
Okay.
Well, I mean, this one, maybe I'll leave this in.
There was strong feedback.
That's all I'm saying.
Well, they can suck my butt.
Hello?
Hi, how are you?
Hi, is it Tony?
Hi, yes, it's Tony and Ryan. How are you? Hi, hi, guys. I'm good. How are you? Hi, is it Tony? Hi, yes, it's Tony and Ryan.
How are you?
Hi, hi, guys.
I'm good.
How are you guys?
We're very well, Zoe.
It is great to have you on the phone.
Oh, my gosh, thank you for calling.
Oh, my gosh, of course.
It's such a pleasure.
What are you up to?
I'm just making breakfast.
Oh, my God, what are you having?
It's really boring, Just, like, bread.
Bread and butter.
Just bread?
On its own?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just quickly, Zoe.
Last week, someone described me as the bread to Tony's...
The butter to my bread.
What would you say is the better one from the bread and the butter?
It's too early for me to think of something.
Too early?
It's 11.30 in the morning.
Zoe, the way that you need to think about that is that if this was the only meal
you were going to eat all day, you're not going to eat a lump of butter,
are you?
You're going to have the bread because it's going to keep you full
of falonga.
Yeah, I guess.
And that's what I like to do.
I like to keep people full of falonga. Oh, I guess. And that's what I like to do. I like to keep people full of Volonga.
Oh, you know what you guys are? You guys are like rice
and egg. Because you can have egg itself and then rice itself as well.
But together, you guys are going to be like the best
combo. We're the fried rice of podcasts.
Zoe, we're wondering if we could just get your
approval before we get started today. Oh yes, I've been waiting
for the new episode since like Wednesday. So yes, please go
ahead. Yay, thank you so much. Thank you.
Thank you for calling. Bye. Bye.
Hey, it's Zoe from Sydney and I approve this podcast.
Did you print me anything?
Yeah, I put it in front of you.
Where is it?
Oh, sorry.
It's fucking basically in Antarctica. It was that far away from me. We live at in front of you. Where is it? Oh, sorry. It's fucking basically in Antarctica.
It was that far away from me.
We live at the south of Australia.
We're not that far from Antarctica.
I'd love to go to Antarctica.
We talked about this the other day.
Yeah, because my mum always really wanted to go to Antarctica.
Yeah.
It's fucking expensive.
Yeah.
I think you can do like a flight that leaves Sydney or Melbourne
and you fly over Antarctica.
Oh, so you just fly over, have a look and come back?
Yeah.
And wouldn't you be shit on off, shit on off,
if you got a middle seat?
You couldn't fucking say anything.
Yeah.
How long would that flight be, like 10 hours?
I don't know.
It's not for me.
It's not going to be there for much longer.
I hate to get political, but.
You want to start the show?
Sorry.
Hang on, I'm going to get a pen.
Sorry for the delay in today's episode.
Tony is literally crawling across the table to get a pen.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
Okay.
My headphones were plugged in.
I didn't want to unplug and then go over there.
It must be so hard being a famous person like you.
Well, I'm sorry, but our producer isn't here today.
She's clicking at someone who doesn't exist.
Yes.
Welcome to the show.
Hi.
Tony and Ryan here with you. Thank you very much for everyone who's listened and sent lovely messages
through. It is lovely. What's the loveliest message you've gotten?
Well, you know this because I told you before. Someone came up to me in the chemist,
a chemist's warehouse in Swan Street, Richmond. Oh, mate, you got papped in real life.
And said, hey, I really love the videos with you and Tony. I was having a
crap day, so I went through a bit of a rabbit hole
and watched you guys, and I was like, oh, that's really lovely.
Thank you.
Also, where's the hemorrhoid cream?
That's very funny.
It was very, very funny.
It was actually in a chemist, so it was kind of awkward
because I was like, oh, hey, I'm just here to take care
of some personal things.
It's funny that you bring up the hemorrhoid cream
because that was actually a joke that I said to you
via text yesterday.
Yeah.
So you said, oh, someone's just come up to me in the chemist
and I said, oh, how embarrassing.
Were you buying something really personal?
Ha, ha, hi, where's the hemorrhoid cream?
And it made me realise something that I thought,
God, why don't I know how to spell hemorrhoid?
Like I write it so much.
Do you?
And then I thought, that's not good.
Why am I thinking to myself, God, I write hemorrhoid so much,
I should know how to spell it.
Wow.
Yeah.
You pick your choices in life and you've got a few issues
to take care of this afternoon.
Yes.
Coming up later, every Monday we go through feedback
from the Tony and Ryan group on Facebook.
Go and join it.
We'd love to hear your thoughts.
A lot of fun happening there, but there is, again,
a little bit of aggression, a little bit of backhandedness.
Yeah.
See, I got ripped out, I think, last week.
Yeah, it's definitely been my turn.
And it's you now.
Yeah.
All right, so that's coming up soon.
And I've got something that's going to divide a lot of people
because I found this thing online that is apparently quite common in America
and it terrifies me.
Really?
Yeah.
I don't like it.
All right.
Well, when you say it could divide people,
it looks like it's going to be your week to be the bad one in the group.
I'm happy about that.
All right.
Here's a question.
If you live with your boyfriend, fiance, husband,
maybe you're the boyfriend, fiance, husband.
Who do you live with, Toni?
I live with my boyfriend, Torbs.
Okay.
So you're listening to the podcast.
Toni Lodge, who lives with your boyfriend, Torbs.
I want to know, do I do this thing and I'm the only one
or is this normal boy behaviour?
So Bridget, my wife, is reading a magazine the other day.
What?
And she's laughing.
Who's got?
What?
Who's reading magazines?
Well, she starts work early.
So she has like these leisurely afternoons where she's reading a magazine
and having a wine.
But anyway, she starts giggling and pointing at me.
And so I quickly like got my phone out to record her.
So it sounds a bit weird because it was a bit like just in the moment.
Okay, okay.
But have a listen to Bridget reading this magazine article.
We're saying how guys shower, they go to the bedroom,
they take off all their clothes, they leave them on the floor,
and they walk in the nude to the bathroom.
Yeah.
And if they see their girlfriend on the way,
they do a little dance and wiggle their booty
and make a little woo-hoo sound.
I was like, this is Ryan.
This has been written about Ryan.
Now, it turns out this is called the shower shimmy.
Oh, I like that.
So, you know my house, Tony.
Yes. The bedroom and the bathroom, opposite ends of the house. Opposite ends, yeah So you know my house, Tony. Yes.
The bedroom and the bathroom, opposite ends of the house.
Opposite ends, yeah, and you like walk through the kitchen
and like the lounge room to get to either side.
And if I'm walking through in a towel, you know I'm losing that towel
and giving a little booty wiggle and a bit of a woo.
Look at him go.
Yeah.
Well, you do it to me at work.
Because even though I'm a man in my 30s, I'm still.
Late 30s.
I'm 33, mate.
Just pump the brakes.
Maybe 34.
I'm still a five.
I feel like we've all got a little five-year-old boy in us
who thinks that's really funny.
Yeah.
So my question is, does Torbs do this?
And my question to you listening to this podcast,
does your partner do this or am I just a fuckwit?
They're two different questions.
Yes to both.
Torbs does do this.
He does?
Yeah.
He's a shower shimmier.
Yeah, he does.
And he doesn't do the like clothes leaving on the floor thing.
He's actually quite good with that.
I always leave my clothes on the floor.
I'm that arsehole.
You are awful.
But, yeah, he always walks past and he does this thing.
I don't know how to describe it, but I'm going to do it for you.
Please.
And he kind of, like, stands, like, in a twerk position
and then he goes like...
And he, like, shakes his willy.
And, like, shakes his bum.
He shakes his dick at you. Yeah. And, I mean, I think that's. And, like, shakes his bum. He shakes his dick at you.
Yeah.
And, I mean, I think that's quite funny.
I think that's funny.
And quite wholesome.
I'm glad that that's been caught on video.
Poor Torbs.
At night, the dog BJ needs to, you know, do a whittle before we go to bed.
Yeah.
And so I would say to Bridget, oh, me and BJ are just going out to get our dicks out.
Like, that's just common language.
What are you doing? Oh, we might as well go get our dicks out. Like that's just common language. What are you doing?
Oh, we might as well go get our dicks out.
So we just go to the park and pee together.
Do you do a wee as well?
I'm about to go to bed.
Do a wee inside?
Must be nice.
What?
You wee in the park with your dog?
Yeah.
Oh, that's fucking weird.
Is it?
When we used to live on the farm, we'd just like, you know, just go out the back.
Yeah, but you live in the city.
Well, now I do.
You live in the city.
But old us country folk have it die hard.
Mate, that's so weird.
Back to the shower, Shimmy, if I may.
No, I don't think that you can get away with this.
Yeah, I want to get away with this.
That's so weird, mate.
Okay, I'll stop getting my dick out with my dog.
I don't think you should be doing that.
Why is Bridget letting you do that?
I don't know if she's letting me.
She's just maybe tolerating.
She just thinks it's cute that, you know, the boys with dicks get their dicks out and have a winnowing.
Okay, I regret all of this.
I regret bringing it up.
Sorry I pee in a park.
It's weird.
You're 37 years old.
I'm 33 and I'm weird.
So here's my issue.
We're not an issue.
Your old house, the layout, the floor plan was designed better
for a shower shimmy because Torb's had to go from the bathroom
at one end to the bedroom at the other.
But now, hey, and just listen to how well Tony's doing, everyone.
Tony, she has two bathrooms in her apartment.
One is the en suite, but even the bathroom itself is kind of near the en suite.
So he, in theory, doesn't have a need to go through the living area.
No.
But does he do it anyway?
So.
Yes.
Jump on top.
Okay.
So the way that he does it now is that so the master bedroom.
Jeez, look at her go.
Has an out, like a door to the outside into the courtyard. A courtyard off the master bedroom. Jeez, look at her go. Has an out, like a door to the outside into the courtyard.
A courtyard off the master bedroom.
And it's the same door that comes like off the lounge room
that goes into the courtyard.
So now he goes from the bedroom through the courtyard
into the lounge room where I will be or in the kitchen or whatever
and then walks back through to the bathroom.
So it goes the long way around. What does John the Cat think of this?
Oh, John the Cat hasn't seen, thank God.
Well, last night we were watching a movie and Toots was like,
oh, my God, oh, my God, like jumps off the couch, like flips out.
I was like, what's wrong?
And he like slides the door open and he goes outside and does a big fart.
He was like, I knew it was going to be really, really stinky,
so I went outside and I was like, John knew it was going to be really, really stinky,
so I went outside and I was like, John's probably dead.
You killed John the cat.
Yeah, good.
Well, John the cat deserves that.
That's rubbish.
But please let me know in the group.
There'll be a post that says, does your partner also do the shower shimmy?
And let me, let Torbs know that we're not alone.
I think that's quite cute.
You would, though.
I just think it's fun.
It is fun.
It is real fun.
But I was just scared that maybe it made me seem like immature and silly.
But, I mean, it's nice, isn't it, though?
I like the shower shimmy.
I mean, I don't think I'd like it if, like, a stranger did it to me.
No, that's very different. But, you know, my partner who I...
Especially in your house.
He comes through the courtyard.
I'm like, you're not the normal guy that comes around and does this.
You're not my boyfriend or that cat.
You're just a stranger flopping his dick at me.
I don't know if I like that.
Please don't pee outside.
I've mentioned before that I've seen this thing online
that really shocked me.
Do I need my phone for this?
No, you don't.
Okay.
I think that it's going to divide a lot of people in our group
because if you're part of our group,
which you can join at the links in our bios on Instagram and TikTok,
there's a lot of Americans that listen to this podcast,
which is so cool and we weren't really expecting that
because we're so ochre.
Oh, just Aussie blokes, you know.
Yeah, pissing in the park.
Yeah, drinking Fosters.
I don't know.
Did you see over the last week that everybody said,
how would you spell so the way that Tony and Ryan say it?
How do we say so?
I know.
You just say so.
I know.
Except I think that it might be S-O-H-R.
Like so.
How would the US people say it?
Well, they were all going like so.
That's not what we sound like.
Sorry, what was that?
So.
Dear the 32% of people who listen to us from the US,
I'm sorry that Tony has made fun of your accent.
They were antagonising us about our accent.
But I think so.
You say so and it's S-O.
S-O.
So.
Except I think that S-O-H-R is probably the closest.
So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
How would you say it without the R at the end? So. So. So. So. So. So. How would you say it without the R at the end?
So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
So.
It's still got the R.
Anyway, this is so hideous.
The headline of this article, and this is a broadsheet article,
so it's an Australian thing.
I regret to inform you that dishwasher salmon is a thing.
No.
I know.
Hang on.
Are you going to tell me that someone puts the salmon
in like a plastic bag, puts it in the dish?
No.
They're putting their salmon in alfoil with some herb
and some butter and then putting their dishwasher on and cooking food
that they then eat in their fucking dishwashers.
No.
Isn't that the most repulsive thing you've ever heard in your life?
No, no, no.
So I'm going to go through this article because it's actually shocking
and I could not believe it.
Do they not have a kettle and a pot?
Do they not have a pan, an oven?
Yeah.
What do you not have in your kitchen that makes you think?
That means you need to cook with a dishwasher.
Yeah, no.
So, okay, apparently dishwasher salmon is an American fish dish
made with the heat from a dishwasher, particularly from its drying phase.
Like, I'm not okay with this.
So, like.
We should do it with a clothes dryer.
I don't have a clothes dryer.
And it just spins around.
I don't have a clothes dryer.
I can't afford it.
Tony's giving me shit because she knows I just bought a real expensive dryer.
And a new washing machine as well, wasn't it?
Yeah, it's got a double.
A combo.
A combo.
They fit together.
Yeah.
Yeah, it must have been pretty expensive.
It was.
It was.
Well, we didn't go on a honeymoon, so we...
Have you thrown the box out yet?
That was a point of contention in your relationship for a while?
It's definitely been folded down.
You bought that months ago.
Yeah, I know.
It's at the front still, maybe.
Oh, my God.
Near that table that you were going to collect for your house.
It's probably covered in your piss.
No, I don't piss in my own front yard.
Oh, yeah, not in your own area.
Excuse me.
Okay, so there's a quote in this article that says,
truly, what could be more efficient than washing dishes
and cooking dinner simultaneously at the push of a button?
I want to know.
Are you putting dishes in at the same time?
Yeah.
No, two birds with one stone.
I think the whole idea is we're being efficient.
Efficient?
Tony's so pumped with her joke, she can't even breathe.
She's so impressed with herself.
Efficient.
That's very funny.
Okay.
So apparently that means that you would have to coordinate
your cooking, your dinner, needing to wash a heap of dishes.
Well, the irony is that you haven't made them dirty yet
because you get to eat dinner.
So they've been sitting in there for a whole day.
Their last night's plates.
But then you can pull them out and then put the salmon straight on.
Okay.
Question number one.
Not only do you have to coordinate the time,
I guess that's question number one.
Question number two.
Are you putting a dishwasher tablet in as well?
Yeah, because that's why the salmon's in a plastic bag.
No, so it's in alfoil.
But that's still protected from the outside elements.
But you've still got.
That's what keeps the herbs in.
You've still got detergent flying around.
Yeah, but it's just the heat and the steam.
You were off this a minute ago and I feel like you've flipped.
Yeah, no, I'm curious.
Okay, anyway, so.
Even purely to piss you off, I might try just to find out.
I just think it would be disgusting.
I think you have to be really confident in your ability
to use the alfoil and the plastic to secure it because, A,
you don't want your herbs and spices getting out and, like you said,
you don't want the detergent getting in.
It needs to be a toit, toit effort.
That's how we say tight in Australia, by the way.
It's not.
That's not news.
Anyway, so this person has squeezed fresh lime juice over the fillets
and then popped it in and hit the light soiling 55 degrees setting.
I would mind if it heavily soiled.
I'm not going to put it on the heavy setting, are you?
No.
The other thing is you can cook salmon in a pan.
It's really easy to cook salmon.
In like five minutes.
Yeah, salmon is the easiest thing to cook.
Like you said, a minute or so each side.
How long is the cycle on your dishwasher?
The cycle on the dishwasher is what, like 45 minutes? What are or so each side. You've got to do a whole, how long is the cycle on your dishwasher?
The cycle on the dishwasher is what, like 45 minutes?
What are you going to do the rest of the time?
I would have finished it by then.
Yeah.
By the time you finish the cycle, I would have cooked the salmon,
eaten it, and then been ready to put that plate into the dishwasher. Yeah, put the dishwasher on.
Yeah.
Okay, so then while the salmon cooked and the dishes got washed,
he created his sides.
I guess he had heaps of time.
He probably could have grown potatoes in the time it takes
to put the dishwasher on.
And then he opens up the dishwasher, pulls out the thing,
and the little packet of salmon is still sitting there
and it's covered in like murky dishwasher water.
Like when a Tupperware flips over in the middle of a cycle
and you pull it out and it's covered in the...
It's like bin juice.
Yeah, it's fucking disgusting.
And apparently it wasn't too bad.
His wife didn't let him feed it to his child.
Correct.
But it was okay.
His wife has standards for their children.
Yeah, which is lovely for them.
Good her.
Good from her.
Good her.
I think that sounds absolutely atrocious.
Again, apparently it's quite popular in America.
Would you be prepared purely on the theory of don't knock it
until you've tried it?
Would you be prepared to try it at least so then you can come back next week
and go, you know what?
I was against it and I can confirm that it's no good.
Because until you try it yourself, are you just being one of those haters online?
Because haters are going to hate because Tony Felicia Lodge,
she don't like it.
She hate it.
I didn't want this podcast to turn into a cooking show.
No.
It's a chef and a cook.
15-minute meals with Jamie Oliver that clearly take four hours.
Welcome to 15-minute meals.
On today's movie-length marathon of 15-minute meals.
Two-ingredient meals plus the 1,200 things you've already got
in your pantry, right?
Yeah, it's just two ingredients.
So obviously you just go to your freezer and get an old slip
of salmon in there, throw it on top.
An old slip of salmon.
Yeah.
Oh, mate, you've slipped some salmon around.
Don't pretend like you've never heard that before.
Oh, mate, that's efficient.
Will you?
If you do, I will.
That sounds like a lot of hard work.
It really bothers me.
The idea of the salmon being in there with the dishes just, like,
really freaks me out.
All right, how about if just I do it and I'll report back?
Because, again, I'm just curious and apparently have a lot of spare time.
You can afford salmon?
I can afford a dishwasher.
Oh, far out.
Okay. Ask Ryan for a loan. You can afford salmon? I can afford a dishwasher. Oh, far out. Okay.
Ask Ryan for a loan.
You're welcome.
Well, interest is high.
Oh, yeah.
Yes, it is.
But do you need some money?
No.
Okay.
I'm all good.
That's what I thought.
You've got two bathrooms in your house.
Oh, mate.
I don't want to try this.
Okay.
But for the beauty of this content, if that's what we should do,
then we should do it.
And actually this is a good week for me to do it because next week
we're starting HelloFresh.
So that would work for me.
Before we get to the feedback and before we get to a break.
Yeah.
You know what I'm going to ask, don't you?
Yeah, I do. So this week, Tony started a 12-week cleanse.
Yeah.
12-week cleanse where it was only going to be like the smoothies
and this and the juices.
Yeah.
12 weeks it was going to last for.
12 weeks is how long it can last.
12 weeks.
Tony said for the next 12 weeks, this is what I'm doing.
How many hours did you last into. 12 weeks. Tony said for the next 12 weeks, this is what I'm doing. How many hours
did you last into
the 12 weeks?
Actually,
let me tell you. 4 o'clock
on the first day, I messaged
Tony and I said, how are you? Tony replies,
I'm really sad.
I haven't eaten for 10 hours
and I hate this already. The next 12 weeks is
going to be painful. Then at 8pm I get a text message going,
it was just a screenshot of you ordering Huxta Burger on Uber Eats.
You didn't even last 12 hours.
You're like, we're into the burgers, shakes and fries and onion rings.
Mate, it was really hard.
I don't doubt that.
It was so hard and I just called you crying.
Like, I really can't do this.
I'm just so hungry.
I was so hungry.
And then I was like, I need to eat. I can't do this. Torbs was like, well, I really can't do this. I'm just so hungry. I was so hungry. And then I was like, I need to eat.
I can't do this.
Torbs was like, well, I'm powering through.
And then not ten minutes later he was like,
we've got to order some food.
And Hux the Burger came to the rescue.
Yeah, it did.
And now HelloFresh starts next week.
HelloFresh next week.
And how do we fill the time in between?
We put salmon in our dishwasher.
Yeah, and I think that just means it's a great time for me,
a gift from God, if you will, and this is what we should do.
And you know what?
Then we can talk about the salmon next week.
It fills a little break.
We can talk about that.
Perfect.
Hey, did I mention that Bridget was in a coma during the week?
What?
Did I not tell you that?
I just talked to her the other day.
Well, obviously not the time she was in a coma.
I'll explain that up next, okay?
Hey, it's Zoe from Sydney and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. I just talked to her the other day. Well, obviously not the time she was in a coma. I'll explain that up next, okay?
Hey, it's Zoe from Sydney and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
Okay, hang on.
Just before that break, there wouldn't have been an ad in there because no one wants to sponsor this.
But you said that Bridget was in a coma and I'm really freaking out
because Bridget and I are quite good friends.
We used to work together and...
Okay, I'm going to give you some advice.
Yeah.
Don't take this too literally.
Oh.
So Bridget was in a coma, right?
Yeah.
And the doctor said to me, she's still breathing
but obviously not conscious at the moment.
What happened?
And I've got a somewhat controversial thing that I have recommended
to patients but it's not sort of in the manual.
It's a bit off centre but I've had some success if you'd like to consider it.
And I was like, well, I'm willing to try anything.
Yeah, of course.
And he said oral sex, performing oral sex will probably bring her back.
And I said, okay.
I mean, I'm willing to try anything.
She's in a coma.
So the doctor's like, okay, off you go.
And I was like, well, I mean, I'm not going to do it while you watch.
So he goes, okay, I'll leave the room.
I'll come back.
I'm really confused.
So the doctor comes back in, knocks on the door, and he goes,
how's it going?
Is it working so far?
And I was like, doc, I don't think it's working.
And he said, why not?
I'm like, doctor, she's choking.
We cannot leave that in.
we cannot leave that in what the fuck all right let me give you what are you doing all right so let me
this comedian called norm mcdonald uh-huh he told that story on the tonight show on NBC like the delivery was better than yours
uh anyway that was like one of his he sorry to like make this really down he actually just passed
away he's like one of my favorite comedians and every time someone mentions his name I just
remember him telling that story straight faced to Conan or one of those guys just on NBC and the
guy's like oh my god like is your wife okay the guy's like, oh, my God, like, is your wife okay?
And he's, like, telling this story.
And I'm like, this is live on NBC.
Oh, my God.
Well, now it's a tribute to your favourite comedian,
so we can't cut it out.
It is actually really sad that he passed away.
I remember watching him as a kid, like, in Billy Madison and stuff.
And, yeah, it's really, really sad to see that he passed away.
He was really young as well.
Yeah, in his 50s, I think.
And like a real comedic purist, like one of those real old school stand-up,
didn't let, like, because you imagine being on the big networks,
they're like, can't mention this, avoid these topics.
And he, like, lost a lot of jobs or didn't go for jobs because he was like,
no, I'm just going to do what I believe is funny
and if you don't want to hire me, then that's okay.
But he kind of like, I don't know,
had a bit of anti-the-establishment about him that I kind of like.
Yeah, and also I guess it's sticking to your guns a bit and going,
actually, no, I'm not willing to change the content
that I want to create for the sake of.
I mean, maybe the joke about the wife in the coma,
maybe you could have just sharpened that up a little.
Yeah, and you can imagine why that would have landed better 15 years ago
than now.
No, it's an hour.
Oh, 15 years, 40 years ago, perhaps 100.
Hey, a little bit of feedback's come through.
First, did you have a backhanded compliment you wanted to share?
Yes, I've got a backhanded compliment.
So last week you mentioned a backhanded compliment
that you had received.
Yep.
Is it the buttered bread?
No, when the guy said about my recommendations being shit.
That's right.
Okay, so I'm not really sure how to take this.
This was a DM that I got on Instagram from Amanda.
Oh, my God, your podcast is the best thing I've heard in a long time.
Thanks, Amanda.
Lovely.
Thanks, Amanda.
For a while I was thinking, is everyone extremely boring
or do I have no sense of humour?
And then I found you guys.
Does that mean she's answered her question
or maybe she does have a terrible taste in humour?
She's got terrible taste in humour and she's realised, yes,
it's definitely terrible because I love this podcast now.
I love real shit podcasts and I love your show.
And yours is no exception.
Charlie Allen left a review on Apple Podcasts
and I actually need to apologise for something.
We had, for some reason, two different accounts running on Apple.
So someone got stuck into me for not reading out their review.
There was a bit of a glitch.
There was a glitch and it turns out we had two separate podcast feeds
and people left reviews on the other one and I didn't read them.
The other thing that I would like to point out is that we actually
only can see the Australian reviews.
Really?
Yeah, I think so.
Ah.
Yeah, so there's probably some that we're missing.
Oh, that's a shame.
I think that that's the case.
Don't quote me on that. but I'm pretty sure we can publicly
only see the Australian ones.
We'll have to get someone to send some screenshots
of what everyone else is saying.
Yeah, it's five stars here, but it's one in the US.
Yeah, and you should see what Tanzania's saying.
Charlie Allen says, I really love the Tony and Brian podcast.
Can't wait to KFC what you guys do next.
Okay.
So that's very funny
because Tony and Brian, obviously
that's your real name.
I had this
young lady who
posted that review
in my DMs
and she said, let's brainstorm
something to post.
And that's what you two came up with together.
That's not the best we could come up with.
I'm glad you've been scheming with my haters.
She said.
Never tell me you're busy again, please.
What are you doing, Tony?
I've got a lot on.
I've got a lot on.
Me and Ellen are brainstorming.
Me and Charlie, sorry.
Me and Ellen.
Charlie, Ellen.
Ellen DeGeneres.
Yeah.
And because I think that you made some wild assumption, no, wild.
Doesn't sound like me.
That you made some wild claim in the very beginning,
maybe in the first week, that you said, oh,
if you put a pun in the reviews, we'll read it out or send you a prize
or something.
And that never happened.
And so that was weeks ago that we did that.
So just then when you said Tony and Brian, I was like, what the fuck?
And now I remember that.
A week later.
Yeah, I actually wrote that.
Oh, great work, Tony.
Thanks, Charlie.
Well, speaking of Tony giving feedback about Tony and Ryan,
Tony, you gave me some off-air feedback during the week.
You said, Ryan, your replies in the group are getting a little dry.
Tony and dry-in. said, Ryan, your replies in the group are getting a little dry.
Tony and dry-in.
Standing by.
Good. Not planned.
Thanks.
Not planned.
Yeah, well, because you would just, there was someone commented,
like posted in the group, right?
And it was like, oh, my God, love you guys.
You've changed my life.
I can get a name, my firstborn, after you.
And you just commented, thanks.
Thanks, Suzanne.
Or woo, like W-O-O-O with no exclamation marks or anything.
How many O's in a woo before it gets exciting?
Because in my mind I'm writing woo.
Thanks, Suzanne.
But it's much like woo.
Thanks, Suzanne.
Well, maybe not everyone, Tony Fleece Lodge,
has a negative tone on their words.
Oh, my God.
Is this another thing that's my problem, not someone else's?
Oh, my God.
So many things are coming to fruition for me.
Well, it seems the people have turned on you this week.
Danny Watson, Sean Miller and Caitlin Hoare have all teamed up
and this is their group synopsis.
Oh.
With Tony liking the movie He's All That and hating Brooklyn Nine-Nine,
maybe she's not the snob she claims she is
and maybe Ryan's not bad at recommendations.
Maybe Tony's just a basic bitch with a bad taste of film and television.
I got destroyed in the group over not liking Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
The season finale was like this week.
Yeah, well, it should have been fucking five years ago.
It's a shit show I'm actually just sick of it now
Because it's shocking
It's not good
I'm glad it's over
Why don't you like it?
And didn't it get cancelled three years ago?
Should have fucking stayed cancelled
Wish Netflix never picked it up
I hate that show
Why?
It's just not good
I've tried to watch it so many times
I really, really tried
Are you against diversity that they promote?
No, not at all.
Don't put fucking words in my mouth.
It sounds like it.
I just don't like the show.
Everyone called me out and said, you just need to watch it.
I have tried to watch it many times.
Literally not two, three weeks ago,
I actually put on the first season again to watch it.
It's about season three.
First season again to watch it.
It's about season three.
Emily studies audio at De Montfort University in Leicestershire.
Studies audio?
That's what I studied.
I was about to say, so she would know a quality audio production when she hears one and she's a big fan of some podcasts.
Oh.
The pina colada discussion in which you said it's pronounced.
Piña colada.
And I was saying.
Pina.
Pina colada.
Now, a lot of, speaking of basic white folk,
a lot of basic white folk like me have been saying piña colada for years,
but it turns out it's actually piña.
It's not the E-E-E isn't the problem.
It's the nya.
Piña colada.
Yeah.
The piña colada discussion drove me insane.
I literally joined the Facebook group just to tell Ryan he was wrong.
A great choice.
Fernanda.
Hi, Fernanda.
She's first language Spanish.
So she said, I was also screaming in my car agreeing with Tony
about the pronunciation of piña colada.
Well, they're going to be pissed off again
because you're still massacring it.
I'm just so happy.
Hang on.
Oh, I see what I've done there.
Oh, do you?
What's wrong?
What have you done?
I thought I was reading Fernanda's comment,
but I wrote myself a little joke.
Do you write jokes on there?
Well, I just, I made a little note.
Do you write jokes on there?
Well, I made a little note.
Do you write jokes now?
I don't normally, and that's why I got confused.
Do you want me to tell you my funny, hilarious joke?
Why are you writing jokes now? I don't normally and that's why I got confused but I wrote, do you want me to tell you my funny hilarious joke? Why are you writing jokes down?
I don't know.
Why are you so, like you're freaking
out? No, because I was typing, because I'm
embarrassed because I'm about to tell you the joke is not that
good.
So when I was writing down her,
because I like copied and pasted the
comments and stuff and then as I
copied and pasted it, I like said the joke to myself
and I was like, oh, how funny am I?
That was great.
I'm going to write that down.
Are you ready for the – can you give me like a slow clap or something?
Okay.
So Fernanda said, I was screaming in my car about Tony being right
and he's my joke.
Well, I'm just happy I made a girl scream, if I'm being honest.
Start the clap again.
You wrote that down.
Start the clap again.
You wrote that down.
Start the clapping.
Why aren't you clapping?
You wrote that down.
Why aren't you clapping?
Oh.
To be honest, I think you should just go straight to your love to say it.
This is not good.
Stacey Nansen.
Have you got another joke that you've written down?
No, this is her own joke.
Okay.
Sorry, you're really embarrassed about your joke.
I am so embarrassed.
Sorry.
Stacey Nansen was on my side.
She said, I'm with Ryan all the way on his pronunciation.
I've always said Pina Colada and I thought that's how everyone else said it.
However, and can I please just be really clear that this is not a joke.
Okay, yeah.
This is what she wrote.
Okay.
However, says Stacey, pronunciations aren't my specialty as I'm deaf.
My one teammate.
Has an actual medical reason why she might not have known
the pronunciation.
Stacey, regardless of what is or what is not your specialty, thank you.
She was Team Ryan and the two of us versus the other thousands of you.
Except she's got a great excuse to not know.
You don't have an excuse to not know.
What?
Can I have an excuse?
Isn't just being an idiot.
Is that a medical condition?
I love it.
All right, we're about to head out of here.
Like I said earlier, if you do the shower shimmy,
go and let me know in the Facebook group.
Tony and Ryan podcast.
Search for that on Facebook.
So in that group, actually, this morning I was scrolling through
looking for some stuff.
I thought maybe I'll be able to reply to some comments
and, you know, be part of the community.
And a lovely woman, Cindy, who we chatted to last week.
From Illinois.
She posted in the group this morning,
wouldn't it be great if we could do an international snack swap?
I saw that.
I have an idea.
And, well, hang on.
Yeah, go, go, go.
Because this is why you love to see it.
Oh, sorry, my mistake.
That's all right, mate.
No, no, you go.
Your name's first.
I'm just the vice captain.
I'm just the butter to your bread.
If you wanted to chat, I could just jump off and go fuck myself.
No, you go.
All right.
So I was scrolling through my phone with my AirPods in this morning.
I came across that post and then Yellow by Coldplay started playing
and I was reading all of the comments that were like,
I'd love to do an international snack swap.
I'm in Australia.
I could send someone a beautiful box of goodies.
Yeah.
I'm reading all of these beautiful comments and in the background,
all I'm hearing is this beautiful Coldplay song.
And you can imagine what happened next.
You were so emotional.
It was really beautiful.
I just thought that was...
We're all sending each other gifts.
She's crying again.
Tony, no.
I just thought that was...
Anyway, you have to cut the cold play because we'll get so...
Anyway.
We haven't got to the lyrics yet.
I know.
We'll leave it in.
Anyway, I thought that was really, really nice
and it's so amazing to see all those people in the community
making friends.
Yeah, it's great.
It's really, really cool.
There were two people from the same small town in Sweden
that found each other in the group.
What?
Like, you're from Sweden, I'm from Sweden.
What town?
Oh, my God, I'm from that town.
Which part of that town?
Oh, the little thing.
Oh, that's so cute.
But I thought that you and I could participate
in that snack swap as well.
Maybe we could do a...
Oh, you've got an idea.
What's the idea?
Do you want me to share my idea?
Yeah, please.
I don't want to steal your thunder.
I don't want you to go fuck yourself.
I don't want it just to be me and Stacey Nansen hanging out.
Don't want me to fuck myself because you want to do it.
My idea is that everyone who wants to join
and will make it like a $10 or $20 limit
all kind of puts their name in the hat
and then you get someone else's name to send an international Christmas present.
So if 100 of us say, yeah, I'm in, then it's like a Kris Kringle.
So you might get someone from Sweden, someone from Spain.
So nothing to do with the snacks, what we're talking about now.
So that's the snacks.
No, it's September, mate. We're doing this now.
It's Christmas. See you
soon. Later. Okay.
I guess I will just go fuck myself. Yeah, okay.
What's your you love to see it?
I love to see you being wrong again.
That actually reminded me.
Andrew
Narocki is his name?
Ryan getting schooled on how to say piña colada.
You love to see it.
You do love to see it.
You're right, Andrew.
Thank you very much.
Now, this might seem catty of me.
Uh-huh.
A bit bitchy.
Bitchy?
That's not who I am.
You're not like that, no.
But there was a bitchy headline during the week,
and I did love to see it.
Yeah.
You know, sometimes it just gets you.
Oh, yeah.
Like pedestrian.
This is from pedestrian TV. I knew it. Knew it. Okay. So the, sometimes it just gets you. Oh, yeah. Like Pedestrian. This is from Pedestrian TV.
I knew it.
Knew it.
Okay.
So the Met Gala was last week.
Uh-huh.
And this is the headline on Pedestrian.TV,
which is a website here in Australia.
It's like an Australian pop culture.
Yeah, but it's always got a bit of edge.
Yeah.
The headline.
Apparently Khloe Kardashian was barred from the Met Gala
because, in inverted commas, she's too C-list.
And that just didn't make sense.
I don't get it.
Okay, so the Met Gala is like really like A-list?
Yeah.
Like A players only.
Yeah.
So she said, hey, guys, I'd love to come.
And the Met Gala said, sorry, we only do A-list.
You're not famous enough.
You're a bit too C-list for us.
And like I said, that's a bit catty.
Do you need some ice for that?
It's a bit catty.
It's a bit bitchy.
But I saw that.
Do you reckon we could go next year?
And it just did.
We could go next year.
If she's C-list.
Then we're A. That's what I say. No, she's not C-list. She it just didn't. We could go next year. If she's C-list. Then we're A.
That's what I say.
No, she's not C-list.
She's K-list.
Because she's K.
Khloe with a K.
Yeah.
Kardashian.
No, I got it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because they all start with K.
All start with a K.
Fuck.
Thanks for listening. You really stuffed that up at the end, haven't you, Tony? Yeah. I for listening.
You really stuffed that up at the end, haven't you, Tony?
Yeah.
I was on such a high.
Were you?
Love you, everyone.
Thanks for listening.
Bye.
Bye. Thank you.