Toni and Ryan - Sex with listeners
Episode Date: December 5, 2021Ryan has been up to no good with listeners, and I tackle another round of Audio Queen! Love ya! T xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find ...#ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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Honey and Ryan, what's new?
What's going on?
Oh, hello.
How are you?
Good.
How are you?
Oh, we're fabulous.
Oh, we.
Hang on.
We.
Hi there.
Two people.
Oh, fuck.
Are they using the same account?
We've had people scam us before.
Absolutely.
We come as a package deal.
A package deal.
Oh, thank you so much.
Two for the price of one, guys.
Well, we have Megan and Anthony,
and I like that you didn't even answer the phone being like, hello.
You were just straight into it, ready to roll.
Yeah, I love that.
Always.
Yeah.
You've got to go straight in.
I always say that.
Love to see it, guys.
Now, there's rumours circulating that Megan and Anthony believe
they are a funnier duo than Tony and Ryan.
100%.
What's their podcast called?
We Are Awesome.
Yeah, they don't have a podcast.
Doesn't sound like it. Doesn't sound like they're funnier than us. No one they don't have a podcast. It doesn't sound like it.
It doesn't sound like they're funnier than us.
No one else can see this except me.
Tony is so disgusted.
She's rolled back on her chair.
She's got her arms crossed.
Nah, all good.
All right, lay us your best gear.
What have you got?
Oh, that's a great fucking podcast.
Oh, God.
Oh, Zip!
Oh, that's a great fucking podcast!
No, we're more like an acquired taste.
Okay.
All right, what's the funniest conversation you guys have had in the last 24 hours?
Like the time when you guys have gone, oh, that's good, give us a book.
Look, not going to lie, poo does come up regularly.
Oh, that's fine.
Yeah, yeah, poo chat.
Poo chat is quite regular.
Yep.
Got to be regular.
Yep.
Every time.
See, I'm making them laugh a lot more than they're making me laugh.
Yeah, that's because you're in a bad mood.
I'm not in a bad mood.
Yeah, she's really fucked up.
She's really fucked up.
No, I'm not. How bad mood. She's really fucked up. She's really fucked up. No, I'm not.
How's the hangover, Tony?
The hangover's fine.
It's fine.
I've got some water.
I've had some Panadol.
I'm all good.
How did you know that she was hungover?
I posted on my Instagram story.
Oh, did you?
Okay.
Yeah, someone had a work Christmas party last night
and has come in dusty and has refilled her drink bottle
about two or three times already today.
Yeah, need the HydroLite today. Is that in the, what
was it, the Frank Green water bottle? It is in the Frank
Green water bottle, actually. I got a message from someone the other day saying that this water bottle,
this Frank Green water bottle, is sold out. Influenced.
The internet has been influenced by one team. I know, I'm basically Kim Kardashian.
Hashtag influencer.
Well, Megan and Anthony, we'd love to get started on our podcast,
if that's fine with you guys, but do we have your approval?
For sure, absolutely.
And then when you guys start a podcast, we can approve yours.
Yeah.
Heads off the ranks.
Actually, it would be more like, hey, this is Tony Lodge
and I do not approve. I fucking hate these guys. Never, never, yeah. First heads off the race. Actually, it would be more like, hey, this is Tony Lodge and I do not approve.
I fucking hate these guys.
Never, never, ever.
It's like the Delta's approval, right?
Ryan's more important because he gives such good recommendations.
Hey, it's Megan.
And Anthony.
And we approve this podcast.
Woo-hoo. And we approve your podcast.
Welcome.
Oh, no, you go.
I just thought I'd join in.
Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.
Jinxed by me and Elephant.
Coming up in this episode, I need your help, Tony,
and the help of the Tarpers.
I think someone in my workplace is trying to sleep with me.
It's gone.
Go.
What are you doing?
You jinxed me. Oh, my God, you're talking.
You owe me an elephant.
No, I don't.
I don't.
Is it me trying to sleep with you?
Because I feel like everyone knows that.
There's multiple people.
More than one.
I just started wearing my wedding ring again.
Yeah, I noticed that you had that on this morning.
Very schmick.
Thank you.
Aren't you worried about it going up your bum?
You've mentioned that in the past.
It's on my left hand.
And just for context, if people feel that was a
strange comment, it was because if I was wiping my bottom, I would scared that...
Ring up your ring.
I'd go to wipe, come back out. Oh, my hand doesn't have what it had on when it went in there.
Whoa.
It's an irrational fear, but a fear nonetheless.
And a flying start to our week.
Yeah, welcome to the podcast.
If this is the first time you've ever listened, sorry about that
and sorry about all of this.
Tony, by trade, is a sound engineer and audio producer.
Usually you have what?
Are you a Pro Tools person?
Pro Tools, yeah.
But today, just you will be using your mouth.
Which is what I'm best at.
Yeah, that's a pro tool.
Wrap that around a few pro tools in our time.
I was in an Uber yesterday, actually.
So I went to my work Christmas party last night,
and I was in an Uber on the way to the pub,
and it was like only 15 minutes away, but traffic was really bad.
So I'm in this Uber for like half an hour.
And as I've said on the podcast before, I love making chat.
And the Uber driver that I had was actually quite mean.
Really?
And he goes, what do you do for a living?
And I was like, oh, I'm an audio engineer.
I work at an app, like at a tech startup.
And he goes, oh, so you design the app.
And I was like, no, no, no.
Like I cut all the audio that goes into the app.
And he was like, oh, so you're not on very good money then?
Did this guy realise he was driving an Uber?
And I was just like, so I lied.
Like I fully like blew it out and I was just like, oh,
I make $150,000 a year.
Not even close. Like that's not how oh, I make $150,000 a year. Not even close.
That's not how much money I make.
Oh, fuck off.
That is not how much money I make, mate.
And I was just like, I make $150,000 a year just because I was really offended
that he thought my job was shit because my job's awesome.
What a shit thing for him to say.
And also, it's not a job that people have ever heard of.
So if you said to someone like, oh, I'm a teacher, and they went, oh,
I can probably guesstimate how much money you make because I'm a teacher, and they went, oh, I can probably
guesstimate how much money you make because I know a teacher or my sister's a teacher
or something.
Yeah, if someone says audio at an app, that could be between 10 grand a year and a million.
Exactly.
Like an app, who knows in the tech industry, you know?
I know, but it's also just like not a very common job.
So most people wouldn't have any idea what that would mean.
Just preconceived assumption of, oh, you must be on shit money.
So as an Uber driver. But he looks in the rearview mirror, like right at preconceived assumption of, oh, you must be on shit money. So there's an Uber driver.
But he looks in the rearview mirror, like, right at me,
and he goes, oh, you mustn't make much money then.
And I was just like, oh, okay.
And so I lied and I left full hyperbole.
And then he was just like, oh, before or after tax?
And I was like, after.
So this Uber driver thinks I make like $300,000 a year,
which is not the case.
And also tax is not 50%.
We've had this conversation off air so many times
and it really annoys me.
Luckily you're an accountant.
Every time Tony gets $5, she's like,
well, I had to put $3 away for tax.
I'm like, no, you didn't.
You just did that.
I don't understand it.
Clearly.
It's fine though.
Is it fine?
We're dealing with it, yeah.
I just don't have much money because I put it all away.
Is it normal for people who are in Ubers
to just ask you what you earn
and assumption stuff?
It was really like he wasn't very polite and I always tip in an Uber.
I didn't tip him.
Yeah, no way.
Even though I can afford to make $300,000 a year.
Yeah, and that would have pissed him off even more.
Oh, yeah.
Or she can afford it.
I'm always so polite and I was being really nice to him
and then that really caught me off guard.
I didn't like that.
It's such a tradie thing, by the way, to be like before or after tax.
Oh, is it?
Oh, because you pay.
Like take home, what's your take home payment?
I don't know.
I don't take it home.
I've got my fucking PAYG like pay slip with me.
I don't take it home.
Yeah, it goes in my bank account.
Yeah, I don't know.
Anyway.
Anyway, the point we're trying to make is that Tony is a really wealthy,
very well-to-do audio queen.
So, Tony, can you please provide the audio for?
Okay.
Oh, did you say it was Thanksgiving last week?
Yeah.
And New Orleans, which is where a lot of my birth family is from,
they always play in the Thanksgiving Day game.
There's football on the day, which is really foreign for us here in Australia
because you would never like sport on a Christmas day.
Imagine if there was footy on Christmas.
No way.
But over there, massive.
But they have this thing called Turkey Cam where it's like there's this
really nice roast turkey just on the side of the field and there's like
a little camera that it's like.
What?
I don't know.
It's really strange.
So at the end of the game, the players will come over for like,
you know, the post-game interview and they're like eating turkey and stuff.
It's like the dumbest, weirdest concept ever.
Anyway, Tony the Audio Queen, I need you to be a professional footballer.
Okay.
You know, full of adrenaline and bravado.
You know, talk a big game.
Okay.
But you're also eating a turkey.
Okay.
Yep.
All right.
I got it.
Do you want me to be the reporter? Yes. Yeah, I do. But I need you to wait and read my signal when I'm ready for
you to ask me the question. Tony Lodge, great game today. How'd you see it play out? Yeah. Yeah.
Thanks, mate. Yeah. Me and the boys, we gave it all we had. I just want to remind you that this
game is in the US and it's New Orleans. Oh, okay. Let me go again.
All right, hang on.
Tony Lodge, how did you see the game today?
Yeah, it was so great.
Yeah, the boys really, really, oh, thanks.
Do you have any cranberry sauce?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, me and the guys, we really pulled it out.
And the Tar Heroes, they really came in,
and the Bay City Rollers, the Green Bay Packers,
they played a game.
Yeah, and is that a turkey leg?
Oh, yes.
Hey to my mom.
Thank you, God.
Yeah, well done, well done. I'll pay that. Thank you, God. Yeah, well done, well done.
I'll pay that.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm puffed from pretending to be so puffed.
It's hard to eat and talk and be puffed at the same time.
But, yeah, you do it every day.
I do, actually.
Sorry about that.
I work through the pain.
Machine Gun Kelly.
Stabbed.
Yeah.
What an idiot.
What the fuck?
What's the actual story?
All right, so he's trying to impress his partner, Megan Fox, right?
Oh, who wouldn't be?
True.
Like, I'd fucking stab myself for Megan Fox as well.
But he's, like, the weirdest guy and is always, like,
trying to show off.
Like, he must, like.
It's real kooky. Yeah, he's a weird guy. So, basically, he's like the weirdest guy and he's always like trying to show off. Like he must like. It's real kooky.
Yeah, he's a weird guy.
So basically he's trying to impress her and he's like,
I'll throw and catch this knife for you.
And she's like, it's fine.
Like I know that you love me.
You told me.
No, no, no.
Just to prove it.
I'll throw and I'll catch this knife.
So he throws a knife and stabs himself.
Where?
On his person?
I don't actually know the answer to that question.
Okay, all right.
But I'm thinking, I thought he was trying to catch it.
So I just assumed it was like his hand or something.
A hand or arm or something.
Yeah, something like that.
Yeah, okay.
All right, so I need, this is what I need to hear.
Okay.
Him being the kind of pop rock whingy singer that he is.
Yeah.
Megan being so totally head over heels in love with him.
And then the actual audio of the throwing of the knife
and stabbing himself in the head.
Okay.
All right. And for the purposes of this, it stabbing himself in the head. Okay. All right.
And for the purposes of this, it's a stab in the hand.
Okay.
Okay.
You know that I would do anything for you.
I already know that you love me.
Can we not do the accents just because I'm so bad at them?
No, I think you should stay.
Okay.
All right.
You know that I would do anything for you.
No, you don't have to do anything for me.
I will throw this knife in the air and I will catch anything for you. No, you don't have to do anything for me. I will throw this knife
in the air and I will
catch it for you.
And like in the background they're listening to
My Chemical Romance.
I will
throw this knife and I love you so much.
No, no, no, no.
I'm bleeding for you.
That's how much I love you.
I'm bleeding for you.
You've got to call ambulance.
Do they get an ambulance?
A what?
Ambulance.
Say it in Megan Fox's accent.
Do we need an ambulance?
I don't know.
Is that what she sounds like?
No, because she doesn't talk like a fucking moron and she knows how to pronounce ambulance. Does she sound like
Paris Hilton back in the day?
Do you need a...
Have you finished that word yet? I'm stressed. How was that?
Your pronunciation of ambulance has really thrown me.
Do we need to call a paramedic?
Is that better?
I don't even know what she sounds like now that I think about it.
She doesn't sound that stupid.
I think she's better than that.
Yeah, I hope so, for her sake.
All right, final one.
I don't know if you heard this story.
In New Zealand, one of the politicians went into Labor
and didn't know how she could get herself to hospital.
So whilst in labour, she rode her bike down to the hospital.
Like a push bike?
A push bike.
And she's a politician in New Zealand.
What a boss.
I'll just ride myself.
What can't they do there?
I can't ride a bike when I'm not in labour, let alone if I was,
though I would love an e-bike.
Yeah, I know.
We've been looking at e-bikes.
Yeah, we have. It turns out the place we wanted to get an e-bike. Yeah, I know. We've been looking at e-bikes. Yeah, we have.
It turns out the place we wanted to get an e-bike for, Tony and I,
we wanted a tandem one and they don't sell them.
We wanted to get a tandem one, yeah.
That would be really fun though, wouldn't it?
It would.
Would you be on the front or the back?
I do like having you behind me.
I know.
I was going to say, I'll sit in the back of your head a fair bit.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Now we're giving birth.
We'll make the baby later. All right. All right, now we're given birth. We'll make the baby later.
All right.
All right, so for the final audio queen,
we need the sound of someone riding their bike,
so they'll probably be out of breath and, like,
maybe the bike moving as well.
Yeah, okay.
They're trying to avoid the noisy traffic on the road.
Yeah.
And then finally arriving at the hospital,
the baby arriving into the world,
and then the new mother announcing in her Kiwi accent the birth of the child.
Okay.
Ding, ding.
Ding, ding.
Ding, ding.
Ding, ding.
I'm about to have a baby.
Welcoming to our whanau is another little baby.
And whanau is Maldi for family.
Another little baby.
We've never been happier.
That was very impressive.
Thank you.
That was very impressive.
Do you need to take a breather?
No, I'm all right, but I don't know how to get back onto this chair.
I don't know if you saw me struggling earlier.
I didn't realise it was chair-related.
You sit down.
No, I actually, I can't.
Oh.
I hope we weren't filming because I've definitely just shown my vagina to the camera.
Wearing underwear today?
Yes, I am actually.
That's a nice thing for you to do.
Yeah, but it's like.
To do it more regularly.
Yeah, I wear underwear most of the time.
No, actually all the time except for that one time I forgot.
Yeah.
So my day job is working at KISS, the radio station.
Thank you.
I just saw on Twitter the other day, back for another year.
Congratulations.
So I'm done again.
Thank you very much.
Very cool.
Very cool.
So I wouldn't even call it a show.
We've said it before.
I'm just like there's music during the day.
I'm just like doing some prizes, playing some songs.
It's not like what we do or like a breakfast radio show.
It's just like, hey, I'm trying.
Do you want some tickets to the cricket?
See you later.
Yeah, exactly.
So I want you to tell me if this girl is trying to have sex with me.
Oh, my God.
Is it footage of me?
Yeah, it's my TikTok with you trying to pick me up
with your disgusting, gross humour.
You told me that I was eating an ice cream and then that video is...
That's what I call it.
Yeah.
Oh!
Double scoop.
So Leanne calls through, right?
Yeah.
And we're giving away, I think it's like these little boat cruises
down the Yarra or whatever.
And just a really like throwaway question,
I'd probably say something like, how much would you love that
or what would you do to win this prize?
Just hoping they'll be like, oh, I'd do anything.
It'd be so much fun.
I'm like, well, you've got, you know.
What would she say?
Because I can think about what I would say.
Well, let's just have a listen to what Leanne said
and you tell me what's going on here.
People are absolutely loving these cruises down the Yarra River.
Leanne, what would you do to get yourself and seven friends
on one of these cruises?
Oh, how much?
What would you like me to do for you?
Where should I start?
Look, I know it's public, so I'd better just keep it clean.
Oh, God.
What is she implying there?
She really wanted to go on that boat and then go down the arrow.
You want to head down this stream?
Just one more time here.
What would you like me to do for you?
Where should I start?
Look, I know it's public, so I better just keep it clean.
Oh, God. No, make it as dirty as you want, Leanne. My gosh. I I better just keep it clean. Oh, God.
No, make it as dirty as you want, Leanne.
My gosh.
I'll tell you what I want.
Yeah, what I really, really want.
I feel like, yeah, I'm talking about motorboats.
I think maybe she was after a bit of that.
Hi, this is Anthony.
And Megan.
And you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Shout out to the new Tarpers who have joined us on Patreon.
Patreon.com slash Tony and Ryan.
The new champion Tarpers.
New champion Tarpers.
Rebecca Karen Filovski.
Filovski.
Yeah.
Filov.
To ski.
She loves to ski.
I assume.
Emily Strachan, thank you so much.
Lane Binkley and Jess Batty.
Thank you.
Welcome to the team.
What was that?
That was batting.
Oh, it sounded like you were going fishing and I was like, why is... No, that would be...
You really are the audio queen.
Yeah, thanks.
You're so talented with that mouth.
Yeah, what this mouth can do.
Can't talk.
Don't worry, man.
I'm a radio host and a podcaster and I apparently can't even speak English.
No, me either.
Welcome.
Welcome.
Good to have you here.
Hey, people send through their feedback in the Tony and Ryan podcast
Facebook group or in the DMs.
Tony's shaking her head at me.
Why are you concerned?
What's wrong?
Are you okay?
Well, last week I opened up to all of our friends on the podcast.
Yep.
For anybody that didn't hear it, I have had a bit of a dry
and cracked nipple of late.
Well, you said dry at some stage, but then you mentioned oozing.
Well, yeah, just that like.
Which is the opposite of dry.
No, like so it was like dry and getting cracked
and then it would just like weep a little bit.
So speaking of feedback, how many comments
or messages have you received about your weepy nips?
My DMs are like overflowing.
I've probably received about 100 or 200 nips? My DMs are like overflowing. I've probably received
about 100 or 200 messages
about like so many.
And in the episode thread, as funny as we try
to be, everyone's like, hey girl,
we need to talk about you. It's actually not okay.
So I thought that I would get messages
from like maybe breastfeeding mums
that had like a great hack of like
how to look after your nipple. Because it's only
one and I'm obviously not currently breastfeeding.
So it's weird that it's one then, right?
There's no reason for it to be one and not the other?
Well, I don't know.
I don't really know.
But like I'm obviously not breastfeeding,
but I thought of anybody whose nipples have been
through a tumultuous time, it's a breastfeeding mother.
100%.
And so I was expecting a few mums to kind of jump in and go,
oh my God, this is what I did when I was breastfeeding and my nipples were going through
hell. And I did get that. What I was really surprised about is the amount of people that
said to me that is actually, and this might be a bit triggering for some people, so just trigger
warning. It actually might be cancer and you need to go to a doctor.
How many people said you need to go to a doctor, just really bluntly?
Oh, at least half of the people that have messaged me.
Yeah, so it wasn't like, oh, that doesn't sound great.
It was like, Tony.
It was like, go make a doctor's appointment right now.
Wait.
What did I say?
You said, show me your boobs.
And I was like, no, no.
What did I say after that?
After that.
You said you need to go to a doctor.
Yeah.
And you said, I don't want a doctor to fill up my boobies.
I said, I don't want to show a doctor my boobies.
Also, someone wrote in and said,
I don't think you should be asking Ryan for advice.
You should ask his doctor.
Then you showed me a screenshot of that one.
So what do I do?
I'm like, did you not read the screenshot?
Talk to a doctor.
This is the exact opposite of what they recommended.
Yeah, so I had all these people saying, like,
any changes in your breasts you should go and check that you, you know,
just get everything checked out.
But I got, like, some really severe and quite alarming messages
of people being like, I had that and then I got breast cancer
and things like that,
which really freaked me out, of course.
And I know that everybody was like they had my best interest,
but it was super freaky.
But so just so that everybody knows, I've got a doctor's appointment
on the 14th of December, so not this week, the week after.
That was as soon as I could get in with my GP.
I love him, trust him.
Yeah, he's great.
So I'm going to go to the doctor.
I will come back with a full report.
My best friend Aiton's mum, Pauline, reckons that it's probably just thrush
and that I just need some antifungal cream because apparently
that's quite common.
A lot of big words in there.
Yeah.
Pauline, that's just a name.
But apparently like nipple thrush is a real thing because you can get
oral thrush as well.
Like if you don't, what's the thing with oral thrush?
If you don't do something.
Brush the teeth?
No.
Like if you use an asthma puffer and don't brush your teeth afterwards
and stuff, you can get like oral thrush.
And I think reusing the same plastic drink,
like apparently reusing the same bottles without cleaning it properly,
yeah, the bacteria builds up and that kind of thing.
Yeah, if it's like a Mount Franklin bottle or Evian bottle
but like a PET plastic or whatever,
not like Frank Green's beautiful water bottles, they're fine.
If I exclude a few details,
can I tell a story that you told me off air about your doctor
and what they may or may not do in their spare time?
Yeah, no names.
No names or no professions, but just top line?
Yes.
Okay.
Just it was a referral.
Yes.
Yeah.
So Tony's doctor once referred Tony to a specialist.
Yep.
And you liked the specialist?
Loved both of them.
And you like your doctor?
Yeah, I get along with both of them like a fucking house on fire, yep.
And because they recommended each other,
they knew each other in a professional sense,
you're like, oh, they obviously know each other.
Yeah.
But you now reckon, after snooping around,
that the two specialists, well, the doctor and the specialist,
that they're fucking.
They're fucking.
Yeah.
And then you, so are you on the record as saying you think that?
Yeah, and I talked to both of them about it.
And they both denied it.
And they both were like, no, we just went for breakfast.
We're just friends.
We went out and celebrated my birthday for brunch and he bought me a book.
Okay.
So then Tony says, I reckon when they're fucking,
they're probably thinking about me being like,
how great is Tony doing with her health while they're fucking each other?
Well, that's what I'd be thinking about.
I'd be like, wow, I'm so glad that Tony has brought us together.
I'm a matchmaker.
They're not in the moment.
They're not thinking about the feelings going through their body.
They're thinking about, oh, we've got a mutual client.
Let's discuss them while I'm inside you.
Or like over breakfast, they're just like, did you want a coffee? Oh, have you seen Tony lately? She's going great. I think that's a
really interesting thing to think about. And that's what I'd be thinking about.
So which of your clients are you thinking about why you're having-
I'm not a medical professional, so it wouldn't be perfect.
But I said to them, is something going on here? And they're like, no.
They played very coy.
Both of them were like, no, no, it's fine.
They're both guys?
Yep.
And they're both hot too.
They're both like good-looking doctors.
Yeah.
They're both great.
They both love Kath and Kim.
Both good-looking.
Both love Kath and Kim.
Yeah.
Both doctors.
Yeah.
Like if they were straight, I'd want to take them on.
Like, you know what I mean?
Oh, but could they be any more perfect?
Oh, literally, yeah.
Josh from Myrtle Beach in South Carolina's messaged through. Hi, Josh. He said,
Ryan, when you were talking about not knowing your wife's phone number last week, you said
that you just used Siri instead. And then you said, for example, I would just say, and then I said,
I was listening in the car, Siri heard you say that, and then it
started calling whatever it thought was the closest name to Bridget in my phone directory,
which was this girl I hadn't spoken to for years.
And the phone just starts ringing and it's calling her.
Oh, my God.
How embarrassing.
That is so embarrassing.
I've done it before and said like, hey, G-O-O-G-L-E, play this on a podcast.
And then got heaps of messages, people being like, oh, like they hate that.
Yeah, well, Josh in South Carolina panicked.
He was in the car.
He almost had to rekindle with this girl he's trying to avoid
for the last few years.
Sorry about that, mate.
Oh, my God.
Sorry, Josh.
Hey, imagine if it called and Josh goes, oh, Bridget, I'm so sorry.
He calls my wife.
Accidentally.
No, but it's this girl and they got back together.
Imagine that.
That would be great.
Dr. Love. You know what, Josh? I was about to apologise, but no. Yeah girl and they got back together. Imagine that. That would be great.
Dr. Love.
You know what, Josh?
I was about to apologise, but no.
Yeah.
You're welcome, mate. Yeah, I reckon that's going to start something.
Josh, keep us in the loop on that.
And finally, yeah, please do.
Maybe every week we should just say, hey, Siri.
Play the Pornhub podcast.
Hey, Siri, call this person and hope that someone, it match makes someone.
Oh, that's a great idea.
That's fun.
That is fun.
That's a great idea.
That's a great idea.
On tomorrow's episode.
We're going to come up with a name.
A name will be matched.
A couple will be made.
Babies will be had.
Yes.
Finally, final piece of feedback.
In the Patreon bonus episode last week, Tony,
we talked about Mari Schmidt.
Do you remember Mari Schmidt?
I can remind you.
She got angry that we called hundreds and thousands.
Oh, get fucked.
Yep.
Hundreds and thousands.
Instead, Mari thought they're just sprinkles.
We just call them sprinkles.
But here in Australia, we call them hundreds and thousands.
But they're different things.
Sprinkles here are the long candy ones.
So after you told Mari to go fuck herself and you've again said.
To get fucked, yeah.
She's responded.
Sorry.
How do you think someone likes being told that, Tony?
I'd be fine with it.
This is what Mari Schmidt had to say in the DMs of Patreon.
Hi, Ryan.
I heard you and Tony telling me to get fucked about my stance on sprinkles.
This is literally the biggest honour and privilege in my entire life
to be told to get fucked by you two.
I have never been so happy.
I'd say that's beautiful, Mari, but I still fucking hate you.
I knew that one
day, me being rude
and abrasive would become good
and it finally
has. And you know what, Mari?
Fully get fucked. Thank you.
Love that. You love to see it.
You do love to see it.
You do love to see it. You do love to see it.
Sorry to the 15 other people in HR that have had to deal
with Tony's behaviour over the previous years.
She's like, trust me, one day it'll be worth it.
It'll be worth it.
My You Love To See It this week, this week, today,
there's four fucking episodes this week, Tony, keep up.
My You Love To See It today has been over the past week,
everybody's sharing their Spotify wrapped with us on it.
It has been mind-blowing.
Did you cry?
Yeah, I did.
And I messaged you, Ryan, and said, I just want to cry.
And our manager is in the group chat with us and he said,
just do it, enjoy it.
And this is really like, this is a bit lame, but
our dreams are actually coming true, getting to make this podcast. And the fact that we've
been doing this for, you know, just over two months and that we get to come in here every
week, do this, but that people actually like it, relate to it, respond, want to get involved,
want to support us. I, yeah, I just, I could never express how grateful I am.
And seeing that the last few days has just been...
You love to say it.
I'm really lost for words.
And that doesn't happen.
It actually doesn't.
In fact, I wish it happened more.
So that you could get a word in.
So that it wasn't just Tony and Tony.
I'm just a buttered-tea bread man.
I'm just hanging out over here doing my thing.
But it's been really, like, so special, and I'm not even taking the piss.
Like, it's just been so incredible and just such a massive thank you
to everybody.
That was too beautiful.
I feel like mine is now just so not even worth it.
No, no, no, no, no, it's good.
She just rolled her eyes at everyone else.
She thought you'd get away with that, didn't you?
No, I didn't. I knew you would call me out. You piece of shit. What is it? Ah, it's good. She just rolled her eyes at everyone else. She thought you'd get away with that, didn't you? No, I didn't.
I knew you would call me out.
You piece of shit.
What is it?
It's so crap.
All right.
So, House of Gucci, the movie, is out.
Oh, my God.
I can't wait to see it.
I love Lady Gaga.
So, it's out in some countries, but in Australia, it's not out until New Year's Day, I'm pretty sure.
Oh, good fuck.
Or Boxing Day.
Yeah, it's ages away.
So, I love Adam Driver.
I love Lady Gaga.
House of Gucci looks like fun.
How many times do you reckon I've been tagged in the meme
where Stanley Tucky's face has been pasted on all the different characters
and instead of saying House of Gucci, it says House of Tucky,
which makes no fucking sense at all because it doesn't even rhyme.
It'd be funny if you pronounced his name like Tucci, wouldn't it?
That'd be funny.
What do you mean?
I don't understand.
No, I'm saying in a hypothetical world,
it'd be funny if instead of like House of Gucci,
it was House of Tucci.
But people have missed the mark there.
Well, they have.
And I was like, if it rhymed, it would make sense.
Yeah, but it doesn't rhyme.
You're just stuck tucking it on a Gucci film.
Just because they're spelt the same doesn't mean they sound the same.
Exactly.
Yeah, I don't love to see that.
Yeah, I don't love to see that either. Yeah. And what I don't love to see that. Yeah, I don't love to see that either.
Yeah.
And what I don't love to see is all those messages you got about your nips,
I got about Taki.
Because I don't love to see that.
No.
Hey, we've both got different sort of issues.
Both as serious as one another.
Both dealing with some health problems.
All right, we'll see you meow tomorrow.
Are you? Did you just say we'll see you meow tomorrow. Are you?
Did you just say we'll see you meow tomorrow?
No.
What did you say?
See you all tomorrow.
You said see you meow tomorrow.
See you all tomorrow.
And I can tell from the look on your face how embarrassed you are.
You said see you meow tomorrow.
Say, why wouldn't you say see you to meow-o?
What would you like me to do for you?
Where should I start?
Look, I know it's public, so I'd better just keep it clean.
Meow.
I can tell how embarrassed you are.
See you tomorrow.
To meow-o.
See you tomorrow.
Stop it.
Turn this episode off already, please.
No.