Toni and Ryan - Sexiest Name Ever

Episode Date: January 8, 2025

We reallllllly don't get over the name lol LOVE YOU Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. We are calling Aiden who's in Preston in England. Not the Preston that is just around the corner. Yeah. God, there's lots of things in Melbourne named after England.

Richmond, Preston. Was Richmond or Preston? Hello. Aiden! Hello. Hello. How are you Aiden? What are you up to? Oh, it's Tony and Ryan by the way. Oh, how are you Aiden? What are you up to?

Oh, it's Tony and Rhyme by the way. Oh, hi. I wondered who it was. I just started doing a jigsaw. Just started doing a jigsaw. Absolutely beautiful. I love that. Now, Aiden, I believe you're a big fan of Tovnii's movie raps.

Who's? Tovnii? Tovnii? No, it's just- Tovnii and Rhythen. When I start thinking about the movie raps. Who's? Tofni. Tofni. Tofni and Rhython. When I start thinking about the movie raps, it just takes me way, way back into the past. When I used to be called Tofni. I believe Tofni used to do those and they were scrapped two years ago.

Are you asking for a revival? Oh yeah, definitely. Maybe you don't even know that they get cut soon. Because if you're that far back, maybe you don't know. Yeah, there's some hectic changes. We got some bad news, babe. Has Tony had the twins yet? Spoiler alert.

I've actually just heard that Ryan's having a baby. That's the episode I'll be doing today. Oh. That actually, that really takes me back, actually. That really takes me back. Oh, well, Aiden, thank you for being part of our past, present, and will you be part of our future and approve today's episode? Definitely, 100% approved.

Nice one. Thank you. I approve that line from Tony Lodge. That's beautiful, isn't it? Thank you. Yeah, I decided to come into work today. Yeah, we can tell. Hey, it's Aidan from Creston in England and that approves this podcast. I should actually share what I just said with Tony, with everyone. Yeah.

We're about to do normal or nah and the name of this Tapa, when I say her name, we're all going to just like take a moment and imagine what our lives would be if we were married to this girl. Or were this person? Aurora Mendoza. Right? Like wouldn't your life just be so Oh, right. Like, wouldn't your life just be so much better? Not that it's bad, but it'd be so much better. Imagine if I had a name like Aurora Mendoza, like the song. Hmm. I kind of took away from a little bit, but, um, yeah. Well, just like, this is a roll off the tongue.

No. Cause when I think of a hip hop artist from Perth, I don't think Aurora Nendoza. Sorry. I just, not that you are incorrect. Yeah. I get it. But he's not from Perth. He's from Belmont.

And that is- Which is in Perth. No, no, no. And that's why I'm saying- Belmont is the Perth of Perth. But I'm not saying, that's why I'm said, stipulated very clearly. You're not wrong. Yeah. But he's from Belmont.

Yeah. And I need Perth people to comment on today's episode thread and let us know how hot that name is and how cool you would be if you were them. Aurora Mendoza. But also Eddie Perth people, show note that that Belmont thing is just a bit more, just closer. That's like how Bias B isn't from Melbourne, he's from the Hurst Bridge line. Hurstie. Barra de Hurstie.

Yeah. Aurora Mendoza. Aurora Mendoza says normal or nah. Sorry. Let's all just imagine we've had a very beautiful vegan lunch, which I think is what I would be doing if my name was Aurora Mendoza. Oh yeah. A light red, you know, a key auntie. What did you call me? Kathy Bates's key auntie.

No, we're not. We're leaving that yesterday where it belongs. Yeah. That's very funny from you. I was also though, imagining a light red. No. Yeah. I mean, Aurora Mendoza. What else is it going to be?

I feel like whilst it is potentially quite relatable and down to earth, Aurora's Mendoza's normal or Nasus is like kind of maybe takes away from what we've just built up in our mind. Okay. No, that's fine. Normal or not. Being super anxious around balloons. They could spontaneously pop at any moment and you just need to be ready. Normal. I hate it. Yeah. I feel like they're just there and you kind of like.

Are you going to go soon? You got to just always keep an eye on them. Yeah. I feel like they're just there and you kind of like. Are you going to go soon? You got to just always keep an eye on them. Yeah. And if you're in a room with a few, you can't, you can't keep track of that. Yeah. I just don't like it. Do you know what frightens the living fuck out of me? A balloon archway.

I don't like that. I hate it. One B whole things thing's down. Yeah. And then how do we leave the room? There's no door anymore. Then what? You're so right. I guess we're all stuck here. You're so right. What happened to Ryan? He went into a room, a B came in and stung a balloon and we never saw him again. And that was it. And he died of starvation. Yeah. There was no pancakes in there. What a way to go though. If you had them.

I think that a balloon is just like, they have like a compounding effect. Yeah. Like one balloon is pretty bad. Two balloons isn't two balloons. It's like twice as many. They have their own algorithmic equation. So do you get what I mean? The fear of two balloons is four times greater than one balloon. You get me. That's exactly. I get it.

Completely right. I get it. And then so it's not then all of a sudden, oh, a few balloons at the party. I'm like, you're talking hundreds. The weight and stress of a few balloons all of a sudden is as if we're on fucking the sun. You get me? Yeah. Nah. I need a light red to calm down.

Same. My Aurora Mendoza is all over the place. Sophie, would you mind please writing down for tomorrow's Googling, is a Chianti a light red? Cause I'm really stressed. I said Chianti and it's not a light red, but I can't Google it. So, normal or nah, being scared of balloons, 100% normal. Love it Aurora.

Thank you so much. I'll tell you something that will add to the panic here. You know, when someone grabs a balloon and like makes the sound, like, like rubs it kind of pinches a little bit. Or when you do pinch the end and it goes like, yeah. Isn't that the worst thing you've ever heard? Or like cool boys at a party, like a birthday party as a kid, and they would like stamp on them to pop them on purpose. You'd roll your ankle.

Couldn't you do some damage? Yeah. Not that I'd know, because I would never do that. It feels like cruel in a way. To the balloon. Yeah. To just stamp on it and end its life like that. You know how-

Not that I'm advocating for balloons. I think they're shit cunts. Do you want- Actually, I stand by that. A balloon is a shit cunt. The decision was made earlier in the week that we beeped the C word, but if it's a shit cunt, then that's fine. Yeah.

Don't you agree? Yeah. Can I just say what is the most humbling thing ever? Yeah. You okay? More than shuffling down a booth, is trying to stomp, pop a balloon, but because it's not pumped up enough,

it just kind of like moves around your foot. Just plops out the side. And then you're trying to get it and it's just like, Yeah. And you're like, if I can't even pop it, like, what am I doing? What am I doing? Yeah. If a bee could bring down a whole archway, I can't step on one balloon.

Can I? Yes. And what you just said, please try. She's lost it. I'm going to close my eyes because this is probably the worst thing that could happen. going to close my eyes because this is probably the worst thing that could happen. When you step on a can to crush it and it doesn't go right down, but it goes all sharp.

Yeah. But the top of it just goes, and you just feel embarrassed. Can I tell you the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me? We need a can for me to describe. What can we use as a- I think there's a can of Diet Coke in the fridge. They're quite nice glasses. Don't actually step on them.

So you push down and that bit kind of bends down but over your foot and then it was stuck to my foot and I was walking around like this. What? Oh. Like it was just clinking. The aluminium was just clinking around on my shoe. Oh, that is terrible. And everyone's like, righto. It didn't really go right for you, but there's just,

you just think it's going to go right down like perfectly. But that is the worst. I hate that. Yeah. Aurora's brought a lot to our lives. Yeah. I just think that would give you the ick, wouldn't it? If you saw it I hate that. Yeah. Fuck that. Aurora's brought a lot to our lives. Yeah. I just think that would give you the ick, wouldn't it?

If you saw it crash doing that. If you were crashing on someone at a party and they did that, you would go, oh, no. No. Like, that's an instant no, surely. I think even the opposite. Like, if I was flirting with someone at a party and then I went to crush and I did that, I'd be like, well, no. I'm sorry.

Yeah. I don't want you to hook up with me anymore because I'm so embarrassed. Here's the worst thing ever. Imagine you're trying to crush a can and that happens in front of Aurora Mendoza. You'd hope the bee came and knocked the whole thing down and you did suffocate in there. That would be terrible. She would tell all of her cool friends about that.

She would have cool friends. Yeah, she would. She wouldn't be friends with us. I was really upset by a lot of this. I'm really sorry. Belmont though. I was really upset by a lot of this. I'm really sorry. Belmont, though. And then Aurora goes, what are you trying to do?

And I go, I don't know. She doesn't even say that much. She goes, oh, no, you know what? Like, she doesn't even give you that much. Hmm. You do it. It makes the noise. The king goes, and then she goes, Oh,

Oh, that is traumatic. That is so traumatic. I actually can't think of anything more embarrassing than that. That is maybe the worst thing that could happen. That's not good. Can anyone name anything worse that happening than that? And she's drinking a light red while you're having a sprite. Do you know what I mean?

No, I don't. I curks. It's a cola beer. You're having a sarsaparilla at a party. You're having a sarsaparilla at a party. You're having a Paciona. And she's having a light red. She's like, I'm having a deconti. And what are you having? A traditional lemonade by Swifts.

Grow up. Grow up. A traditional lemonade by Swifts. That is the funniest thing you have ever said! Get off! No! No! Oh!

Are you having a pasciono? She goes, no! My mum only parts a pasito! We're still in the night, Brad! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I've got such a headache from that. I actually was about to pass out. I'm so upset.

It looks like I've been crying. I am crying. The traditional lemonade. That was top fucking gear from you. I'm going to think about that on my deathbed. That was so funny. Did they put like a bit of salt in traditional lemonade? Do you reckon?

For something so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so I'm going to think about that on my deathbed. That was so funny. Did they put like a bit of salt in traditional lemonade? Do you reckon? For something so supposedly thirst quenching, it dries you out. Is that the sugar?

Yeah, but it's like, it's not sweet though. I don't know. I'm really into ginger ale at the moment. Yeah, I've heard that. I'm into that. I'm into you being into ginger ale. It makes me feel like a hot slap. Mate, you didn't need the ginger ale for that.

I really appreciate that. A ginger ale, a quarter of lime, fucking carcass in. Fuck me up. Should we get a couple of ginger ale after this? Should I get some carcass? Yeah. Yeah. That's badass.

Is this still a podcast? I don't know at this stage. It'll be up to Aurora. And she goes, Hey guys, I just actually have this like semi-rural property that has like a pool that looks over the land and we just drink wine. Do you want to just like hang out there for the next 80 years until we all die? And I go, yeah, that's actually fine with me. You don't have to explain that to a few tarpas that might be disappointed,

but you know what? I'll tell them about you and they'll understand stands. Yeah. Cause the tarpas are beautiful understanding people and they would get it. And so would Aurora. Sorry, just the Schweppes traditional lemonade that has just done things to my body. You sang that. He's having a ke- ke-ante.

He's having a traditional......kitty auntie. She's having a traditional lemonade by Schwest. By choice. By Schwest! By choice. Do you know, any other day, everything else that we'd said would be the funniest, but with that, that is just...

Alright, play the middle thing. I think we're done. It's over. No more normal. Enjoy a traditional lemonade from Schwartz. Whether you're in your running era, Pilates era or yoga era, dive into Peloton workouts that work with you. From meditating at your kid's game to mastering a strength program, they've got everything you need to keep knocking down your goals. No pressure to be who you're not. Just workouts and classes to strengthen who you are.

So no matter your era, make it your best with Peloton. Find your push. Find your power. Peloton. Visit Peloton at OnePeloton.ca. I'm about to shout out to a few of our Jami and Tabitha. Zoe Cross, good on you. Helena Eveline Collison. Helena, save some fucking letters to a few of our jammy and Thomas. Zoe cross good on you. Helena and Evelyn Collison. Helena save some fucking letters for the rest of us. Bailey Broda.

You take that back about Helena. She has less letters than Aurora Mendoza. No one does. No one has less and no one has more. Bailey Broda. Good on you Bailey. Joseph Edwards and Pikachu Bay. Oh, S R S.

Just a reminder. It's the year of winning. If you see a thing that's like tagged two people and win this prize, tag me and Tony, we're into it. We don't care. Or if you only have to tag one friend, use one comment to tag me, use one comment to tag, you know what I mean? Like be smart.

Cause if you're embarrassed about, cause it is sometimes a bit embarrassing. Cause you just don't want people to know that you're trying to win a cool cabana and a whiskey. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like be smart. Cause if you're embarrassed about, cause it is sometimes it'd be embarrassing. Cause you just don't want people to know that you're trying to win a cool cabana and an esky. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, I get it. So then tag us and it's all good. And by the end, that's a very specific, but isn't that just like the most Instagram competition you've ever heard of? Like we're in a cool cabana and an esky for you and your friends this summer. Like that.

Okay. Imagine this. Imagine you're in a room. There's a whole bunch of people. I could barbecue say, yeah. And, um, if I was at a barbecue, wouldn't be in a room though. We would be outside. Oh, I can have to all room. Hmm.

Is there a potato salad? Oh my God. I had the best potato salad over the break. You are in a, a fresh go kind of area. What kind of chair am I sitting on? Uh, the one we both have cause we have the same outdoor chairs. We do. What am I wearing? Am I wearing this spot with no denim jacket? Kind of a summary. Area. What kind of chair am I sitting on? The one we both have because we have the same outdoor chairs. We do. What am I wearing?

Am I wearing this but with no denim jacket? Yep. Kind of a summary. Yep. Have I been swimming? You're about, you're thinking about it, but you've just got there and you're having some Tayo salad and a spritz. Is my bathers on under my dress?

No, you'll have to get changed. Oh. That seems like a poor plan. So you've got your phone out. Have I got sunscreen on? Because I'll be worried about the UV checks otherwise. You've got your phone out. Have I got sunscreen on? Cause I've been worried about the UV index. You've got your phone out. Have I got a tradition of wearing sunscreen? Well, it's, you've got your phone out and Aurora Mendoza comes and sits next to you.

And she thinks, I wonder what Tony's looking at on her phone. Is it like a beautiful recipe? Is he checking the weather for a swim? The UV index. The UV index or like, you know, I don't know. I wonder what Tony's looking at on her phone. Is it like a beautiful recipe? Is he checking the weather for a swim? And then, um, you have the UV index or like, you know, all this is potato salad. Where's the recipe? It's Maggie's and you go and Aurora Mendoza goes, Oh, Tony, what are you looking

at in your phone and you go, I'm trying to win an Esky. Can I tag you? You're not allowed to neg competition because this is what we're here for. But we're going to win a thousand things this year. So go to the Tony and Ryan dot com dot au website. Tell us what you want to upload a photo. And we by the end of this year, as a group, we'll have won a thousand things. Aurora Mendoza would never tag a friend in an Instagram competition.

No, but I'll tag her. I'll tag her. I'm sorry, Aurora, if you didn't like all the attention, but thanks for your normal honor. We just loved your normal honor and your great name. I've been a victim of technology. Let's move on from Aurora. Please. I am not sure. I'm going to start this with like a blanket, pretty blanket statement,

but I will say I'm not sure about other phones. So before it becomes like, oh, you don't get that on a galaxy. I don't know. But I have an iPhone and the iPhone photos app has like 8 million features. It really does. And they recently updated it and they're getting fucking rinsed online because it is so hard to use now and you can't find anything on the app. Like you open it up and you're like, I just want to see the last photo I took. And they're like, here's a recipe you screenshot it eight years ago from when

you're a vegetarian, you go, well, I don't need that. Here's a collection of every time you were in it with a tree. Yeah. Or here is a map of all the places you took a vegetarian. You go, well, I don't need that. Here's a collection of every time you were in it with a tree. Yeah. Or here is a map of all the places you took a photo, fuck and whatever. And you go, whilst that is awesome, that is obviously not what I need. Like in a pinch, like when I'm quickly checking something anyway. Um, one of the many features though, is that they use like AI to compile

like albums of people. So it'll be like, here's all the photos you have of Ryan and here's all the photos you have of Sophie woods and whatever. Um, and it's actually quite good because you can like label the album. So I have called my Ryan, Sophie, whatever. Yeah. And like ask like, who's this woman? Yeah. And I'm like, don't accuse me of that, that's my wife.

Yeah, how do you? Yeah. And so sometimes they just give you like odd alerts that like a new collection is available. Like, here's all the photos of you with a fucking tree. And you go, okay. Great. So I mentioned to the other day that Torbz and I spent a week in Fiji. It was really lovely, but it did mean that it was a whole week away from our baby girl, Pippa.

So Torbz and I, yeah, we've been together for like 12 years, but our pride and joy is our French bulldog, Pippa. And we love her so much. We don't want children at this point in our lives. We're very happy. And she is like our little, just our best mate. And she stays with this amazing lady. She has like a home stay. So she's not like in a kennel. She like gets to sleep inside on the couch. She gets so spoiled.

She gets to run around their yard all day and she comes back and sleeps for three days because she's so fucked. Yeah. And they just have a bunch of little, they just only have Frenchies and they all have, it's like the cutest fucking thing you'll ever say. And at the time that Pip was there this time, they had like 20 dogs. Fuck. Cause Chris, everyone's away.

And yeah. And so like I got a few videos of like Pip running around and stuff. And there's, it's like heaven. There's just all these cute little butts running around, like wiggling in front of whatever. Um, but so like, she really loves it. She's very safe there. I'm not worried about her, but it really sucks dropping her off.

Like we're being the same. We have to drop BJ off when you guys went away. It just really sucks. Yeah. And like, you feel, and you feel guilty. I feel really guilty that we're going off and she's like staying home. Even though she's going to have a great time. Yeah.

It's just like, it's really shit. So is she, is she having a better time? I think it's different. No, because I think she loves it. Like she loves the other dogs, but she loves attention. She wants to be the dog. She likes being an only dog. So I think that when she comes home, she likes knowing she's the boss, but cause she's very little, she's not the boss at the dog place. So she like kind of tries to like boss other people around and they're like,

babe, they just like put their paw on her head and she just lays down. She's like, okay, I'm so sorry. Your mom drinks swabs. Shut the fuck up. Not even a sharp asito. Um, so we drop her off like in the afternoon, you have to say goodbye and we go home. And it was like, it was emotional and talks to her in calm. We're like, Oh, and then we go home and we stay the night at home without her. Like she's not sleeping in the bed with us. And isn't that just the saddest thing?

Yeah. You can't drop too soon. I know you like, you have to, but like, you know. I know. And then so the next morning we wake up at six to like kind of go get ready for our flight. And we wake up, she's not in the house. And it's a bit sad. And we're like, oh, but we're pumped for a holiday, feeling really good. And we board the flight, we're sitting there like waiting to take off and I got my phone in my hand and I get this notification on my phone and it's the Apple photo app. Oh no, no. Pick your fucking time. New collection available. I click on it and it says photos or video and I was like, what's this?

I was all video and I was like, what's this? And I click video and it is a slideshow of bitches with Pippa. And the music. Set to really sad guitar music. The music just fucking hits you right in the feels, doesn't it? It was like she died and I was watching like a funeral slideshow. And I am sitting on the plane, like on the tarmac, like they're doing the overhead lockers and we're about to take off. Torb's looks over at me.

I am bawling. Yeah. Like I am just beside myself and I'm watching this thing as if how beautiful baby has. No wonder you left the phone in the plane. I just wanted to get rid of it. Yeah. And I'm literally sitting there and these things and top side, why are you

watching it? Like, don't do that to yourself. Come on. Like we're on holiday. Like so good. And I was like, Oh, but the phone. Do you reckon they knew? Did that? How did you know?

That's never come up for me before. I think they've made their technology better because they're like now for me, knowing Mabel and knowing, it's getting so good at recognizing people. They're really specific. Yeah. And then I feel like I've been getting a few more collections lately, but I reckon, is there like, you know how in, no spoilers, you know how in squids games, like there's someone like watching everything and they're like moving the chess pieces.

Yes. Do you reckon there's someone up there at Apple going, she's on the tarmac. She's nervous. She's anxious. We can see the dog's not with them. Hit it now. Hit it now. It was honestly- Hit them right in the fucking fields.

It was like big anti-holiday. It was like, don't go. Yeah. Like it felt like a sign. And as someone who's kind of into that stuff and I, you know, when things happen, I go, I might look into what that might mean or the symbolism of that thing. And so I'm like, we can't go. Like something's gone.

Like this feels like a sign that we shouldn't leave. So are all the photos like loving. And then they're like, clear for takeoff. And I'm like. And they're all loving photos, I'm guessing. And she looks cute. And she's in the sun and her butt's out. And you know what? And it's, and then pictures of like me toms and people like,

and I'm like, oh my God, like so cute. What would you prefer? Because this sounds pretty fucking harrowing. It was. And it was, the timing was perfectly unperfect. So where I dropped BJ off at this farm, similar energy. That doesn't sound good, does it? Yeah, it doesn't, but it's actually a farm. Perfectly unperfect. So where I drop BJ off at this farm, similar energy. That doesn't sound good, does it?

Yeah, it doesn't, but it's actually a farm. And so in the morning they run through like the orchards and they go to the river. They have like such a sick time. And it's all like sort of bigger outdoor dogs that haven't run around. And so I get the guilt and I'm dropping my little boy off. It's hard, yeah.

And then the place that has him, every day they post a photo album and he's having the best time. Yeah. So would you prefer to be like, oh, I miss her. Or do you prefer to see a photo of her like, oh, finally fucked off, mom, and now I can have a good time and start a party. I know. And Alex was like, you know that she's safe.

She's going to have a great time. There's all those dogs there. Like she loves it. You don't want to have a too great a time. Yeah, no, I don't want to have too much fun. Cause when I picked up Beige, he was like, they had a plunge pool. So when, now I understand your question.

I wanted her, no, I don't want her to miss me. I want her to have such a great time. I'm not talking about her, I'm talking about you. But I like, oh, no, no, no, no. I'd rather her have too good a time and have to come back and be like, oh, and take a while to adjust back to us, but know that the whole time she's away, she's having a great time. And that when, so we got home, we went and picked her up and it was so great to see her. And she wasn't interested in us for a couple of days.

But I would prefer that. And knowing that she was great when she was there. So Brom was similar and I went on the website and I think we got this email and it's like, thanks for your stay. Here was his health checks, blah, blah, blah. And it goes on. Give him a bath and stuff before they bring him home. Yep.

Oh, they do that with Pip and she smells so good. But it said like, it's actually very normal for them to lay low for a few days, cause they're just so fucking exhausted. Yeah. So tired and they're just like. All tuck it out. Yeah. They, yeah.

And, and she was, and she just wasn't really interested in us. And she just slept for, yeah, two days, I reckon. So did any of the flight attendants like console you on the death of your dog? No one said anything, but probably for the bet. Because how would I have explained that? Oh no, she's alive. You know how they just did that update and they're like, it's fine. Yeah. I'm sorry for asking. Sorry, man. I actually don't give a fuck.

I'm like, do you have a light red wine that I could have? I actually don't give a fuck. Do you have a light red wine that I would have? But yeah, so I was a real victim of that. And I just don't click it. Like if you get the notification, don't fucking click them. It's too risky. Is that when you watch the- I don't know if I can still see it.

Is there a Ryan and Tony collection? Oh, well, I know that I have a Ryan one. Look at my top group. Oh my God, I know that I have a Ryan one. Look at my top group. Oh my God, that is so cute. Oh, yeah, actually, people and pets. Me and you comes up. Who's the other guy? That's all you.

But anyway, yeah, so, oh, yeah, look at this. See memories. Pippa over the years. This is the fucking. Yeah. Look at that. Pippa over the years. This is the fucking. Yeah. Look at that. That's the music. Look at you guys.

Oh, there's a Christmas one. Oh, look at her. It was horrible. I do have you love to see it though. That'll bring us back. Actually, I should start this thing. I don't know if it's your love to see it, but this is something I overheard and it has tickled my brain in a really funny way.

And I really wanted to share it. Please. The other day I was at a cafe and I overheard someone at the table next to us say, excuse me. Do you guys have Baileys? And the waiter goes, no, sorry, we don't. And she went, all right, I'll just have a water. And it just, like the slingshot from one end of the spectrum to the other threw me for fucking six.

You know what's in between water and Bailey's? Everything. Every other liquid on the planet. I just couldn't believe the YouTube person out of cafe. Out of cafe pre mid day, might I add pre mid day. You guys got Bailey's note? Oh, I guess I'll just lick the fuck in Ashville. What's Ashville? the concrete, the ground asphalt. Um, that's close.

So what would you call it? Ash? No, I don't know. It's not ash. Oh, I'll find out tomorrow. Fuck. Yes. Well, I put that on the list, Sophie.

Um, but isn't that just like the craziest-turn you've ever heard in your life? And just the disappointment of like, cool, just have water. I'm like, have a coffee? Like you're asking for like a coffee liqueur anyway. Yeah. And then you just go, oh, well, nothing for me then. It's like if I was like, do you guys have Baileys? And they said, no, I'm like, well, I'll just get some heroin.

But to me, that is the same extreme. I thought the other way around, where you go to a drug deal and you go, do you got any heroin? They go, no, but we've got all these other drugs. You go, oh, I'll just get water. Yeah, don't worry about it. OK, let's all take a minute and let's think of an extreme example. OK.

OK, hey, do you guys have any hot dogs? No. Oh, I'll just take a beach ball. So are you meant? Yeah, but that was fucking funny and random. I thought that you were angry. Like, I thought that you were like, oh, that wasn't that good. So I walked into the Porsche dealership and said, if you got the new Kanye G7 and they go, Oh no, we don't have that one.

I go, cool. Can I get a lime scooter? Guess I'll get a fucking scooter then. I'll get the cool Kibana in the SQS. So have you, do you have one? Oh, I had a prepared one. We took a minute. Oh,

um, Can I order the Aurora Mendoza? Oh, we're out of those. Oh, I guess I'll just sleep. Just have a Tony. I'm the water to Aurora Mendoza's Bailey's. And she's always said that. Oh, okay.

I went to pick up Pippa from the dog place and I said, oh, she's already been picked up and I said, oh, great. I'll just have a crab claw. said, Oh great. I'll just have a crab claw. I'll just have a gyalchi. Thanks for going to pick her up by the way. I really appreciate it. Mix up between us.

My love to see it. So we're still going. My love to see it is when Tony and I were about to board the flight to London when we went to our party last year, is that I poured myself a Bailey's and Tony wasn't judgy or didn't make any comments about it. Okay. Let's just quickly explain the situation. Have you ever thought about a wine glass? And then like a really big one, like that a mom would be like, Oh, just big enough. You know, maybe Sophie.

Yeah. Um, it was like a giant wine glass and she filled it to the top. Like, so it was probably like, if you were thinking about in terms of glasses of wine, it was probably three pours of a glass of wine. But Bailey's. Bailey's with like four ice cubes in the bottom. How much Bailey's are you, not to yuck anyone's yum, supposed to have it like a shot? I assume you'd have a shot.

Well, you might have a like 50, 60 mil on the rocks, maybe. Yeah, like a... Or a mix in your coffee. For me, in coffee, it's just like heaven. Sure. But the sleep from Melbourne to London was deep. Yeah, he slept through our connection at Kale. I had to carry Ryan to the next flight.

You didn't even wake up for satay. I don't think. Oh no. The satay guy woke up me. Cause he's a good folks in Malaysian airlines. We are, we ended up landing in London. Ryan's like, Hey, have you ever drunk heaps of Baileys and then eating satay on a plane? Because my guts knows all about it. Yeah.

In fact, if someone said, Ryan, you're stuck on a small, worst combination, small confined thing like a plane. What are two things you could eat to not do well? Yeah. Great. I'll get the satay and Bailey's place. Yeah, that is a deadly weapon for you. Oh, that's good. But yeah, I didn't know if it was you love to say it,

but when I heard that, I thought, okay, we're on here. Did you get a good look at the person? I need to know. I'm going to say three things and none of them are going to surprise you. Older. Yep. English woman. It's not surprising.

And she was a little bit hoity. Nah, she was like, you don't have any Bailey's do you? It was kind of the vibe. No, no, just have a water then. So like thought she was fancy, but wasn't, you know, she was at a cafe in fucking Reservoir. Did I tell you about that? Like, you know, the good side, still.

Did I tell you about that? It's above Belle Strait. Like, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Yes, it's the wrong side of Belle Strait, say. Aren't they all? Um, so on the, when we flew home from Bali, on the menu of drinks, it's like, here's a few beers, here's a few wines.

Um, like, you know how they try to make it like feel fancy, but you're still just like sitting on a fucking plane. Yeah. And it says like Campari and soda. And I just, and it was like gin and tonic, Campari and soda. What? And I was just like. Of all the things that they would offer on a cocktail list.

I just, I thought the same. And I got. Do they have bad knees? I don't know if they did. I probably would have ordered that. But I I saw that and I went. I've never had that before. I've just been in Bali and I'm a bit like,

you're loose. You're not feeling crazy. Yeah. And so I go to the guy. Does anyone ever order Campari and soda? And he goes, no. Oh. And I go. Inside goss. And I go, can I order one? He goes, you sure?

They had to crack a whole fresh bottle probably. Yeah, and I go, and then he kind of goes, to be honest, I've never served one ever, but he goes, but if it's on the list, like they, every month they kind of order it. So like, if it's on the list. Oh, of course. It means, but he goes, but if it's on the list, like they, every month they kind of order it. So like if it's on the list, it means, but he goes, I've never. Cause they wouldn't just be flying with an old bottle of Absinthe. Just sitting in the back corner.

It's all dusty, like at the back of a bar. Yeah. Like no one's touched it for five years. They've just been cut. Like that Absinthe's have done some fly miles, you know? And so he goes, oh yeah. He goes, oh, it's like, I go, who drinks that? And he goes, oh, he goes, I've literally never served one, but I think it's like,

this is my first day. Yeah. He goes, I think it's like an old, like, you know, I probably would have had a Campari soda. Have you ever had Campari before? Well, I love Negroni. Yeah. So I just went, oh, I love Negroni. It must be great on its own.

It just tastes like dirt and smoke. Wow. So I don't like. Dirt, smoke, fizz. I don't like dirt, smoke, fizz. I don't like Campari or Aperol. So I don't like Negronis. I don't like Aperol Sprite. It's just too tart for me.

Yeah. So even you saying like a Campari and soda, I'm like, soda water is disgusting. Campari also dry and tart and weird. Yeah. I just hate that soda water makes you drier than when you were before. I love soda water. When I have it, it makes me... The aftertaste I get from soda water is like how my mouth tastes

if I've had a sip of beer. Right. Like really dry. But you need a bit of lemon or lime or a little grapefruit or something. Nah, I just, I just. You can't just raw dog soda water. I wanna like it. Like believe me, I really wanna like it and I just can't.

And so the guy says, did you want me to get you something else just in case? As a backup. Well, cause he goes, we're going up and down the aisle. Like here's your chance. Like if you don't like it, I've still got to serve the rest of this fucking plane. Yeah. So like, do you want me to get your back up? Yeah, no, that's smart. Because otherwise, what do you got to wait for the other 30 rows to fucking...

Yeah. And so I go on and he goes, I'll just hold. So he whips up the J&T and just sits it there. An emergency J&T. Because he just goes, I'm not going to not give you what you asked for. He's like, you're not going to like it. Did you drink the whole thing? I was so determined to like it, just to like. And also to not be a bother.

Kind of. Because you're like, oh, I made you make this for me. I want to. Yeah. So it was shit. Sorry. But he was right. I drank the whole thing. But we were on the same team. It was funny. He wasn't like judging. I wasn't like proven a point. But it was just like, you sure, bro? And I was like, yeah. Does anyone get it? He goes, no.

And I go, well, might as well try it. Totally. Now I know. And then I came back and he goes, oh, finished it. How was it? And I said, not good. And he goes, don't want another one. And I went, no. And he goes, didn't think so. He's telling everybody that story, except he's the hero. Like in his version, he's like,

so this asshole gets on the plane. Yeah. Yeah. We're the kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We didn't have any Bailey, so it was already off to a rough start. Yeah.

Mabel's drinking juice, dad's drinking Campari soda. Mom's asleep, she's been on the bing tangs all afternoon. All afternoon. Yeah. All right. Tomorrow on the show, we'll bes all afternoon. All afternoon. Yeah. All right. Tomorrow on the show, we'll be Googling things. Oh yes, we're Googling. I'm actually so fucking excited about this.

All right. A Week in Review. I promise what I'm going to bring to the function tomorrow is a really snappy couple of options for names of this segment. Great. And we can pick one. Okay, love it. Look at me. Love it. really snappy couple of options for names of this segment. Great. And we can pick one.

Okay. Love it. Oh, look at me. Love it. Working in for 2025. That's not normally. I really just. That's good resolution. See how long it lasts.

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