Toni and Ryan - Sexy Balconies & The Notebook
Episode Date: November 8, 2021Ryan has really thrown me under the bus here. We chat about sexy balconies, things you can say on a Plane and also in the Bedroom - and we talk about finishing up the podcast because of watching the N...otebook. Love ya! Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello?
Hello, Daniel.
Is it true that you once said you would be ready and waiting any time
to approve the Tony and Ryan podcast?
Yes, yes, I did.
Well, guess what?
Wait till next week because it's not now.
Daniel, it's Tony and Ryan.
How are you?
Yeah, good. Would you believe? I nearly didn't answer because it was Tony and Ryan. How are you? Yeah, good.
Would you believe?
I nearly didn't answer because it was no caller ID.
I was like, nah, I will.
Do you know what would have been funny?
If he had one of those, like, message banks that's like, hello?
Yeah, who's this?
And he's like, so close.
Oh, you get me all the time.
Me too, because I'm always like, hi, it's Tony.
How are you going?
We would have done this whole podcast episode and be like,
I don't think he's there.
Yeah.
Then write it in a beep.
Well, Daniel, thank you for coming to our rescue.
We have once again been stood up by people on the internet.
I swear people aren't as fucking dedicated as they reckon.
I've had a fuck enough.
Have you?
Yep. I've had it up enough. Have you? Yep.
I've had it up to here, Daniel.
Don't blame me.
I even was in there today just checking.
I was like, maybe January's opened up.
Oh, Daniel.
I'm so sorry.
It hasn't.
It hasn't.
But today has, so you're here.
You're on right now.
What are you up to, Danny Aniani?
What are you doing?
Oh, not a whole lot.
We're just about to make some Christmas biscuits.
Oh, that sounds wholesome as fuck.
Yeah.
Who's we?
I'm family.
Oh, how cute.
So my wife and son and mother-in-law.
Oh, beautiful family day and you're interrupted by us.
I'm swearing at you.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sincerely apologising.
Oh, no, no.
May the Lord be with you.
That's a perfect sign.
So, Daniel, with your permission, we would love to get into this podcast.
Do we have your approval?
Absolutely, I approve.
Well, Daniel, thank you so much for supporting us on Patreon
and being a part of the team because we actually can't do this stuff
without your support.
So thank you so much.
Oh, I love the podcast.
I listen to it all the time.
I wish it was seven days a week.
Well, we do too.
Hopefully soon.
Yeah, hopefully soon.
At least a fourth or fifth.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
Let's not bite off more Christmas cookies.
Yeah, exactly.
That was good from you, Jane.
Thank you.
Well, you have a glorious day.
Tell the family we said hi and have a great weekend, okay?
Will do.
You guys too.
Bye.
Alrighty.
Cheers.
See ya.
Hey, it's Daniel from the Sunshine Coast and I approve this podcast.
I apologise, Tony Lodge, in advance if I'm throwing you under the bus here.
Okay.
But in about five or six minutes, Tony told me about something
that turned her on that you are a little bit embarrassed
about the fact that you were turned on by.
Is that true?
You know that I was going to tell this story in a different way.
I know.
That's why I needed to get in first.
You're such an asshole.
And I want to know if you listening to this podcast,
if you also get turned on by what Tony got turned on by.
Fuck off.
We'll get to that soon.
We'll get to that soon.
Okay.
But first, thank you to everyone who contributed in the group.
Getting people to write your gear again, mate.
All good.
Hey, you say whatever you want about me because we're about to learn a lot about you in about five minutes.
Things you can say on a plane and also in the bedroom.
All right.
Do you want to go first?
Yeah, I'm going to start with the T-Lodge classic.
Are you going to start with an insurance joke?
Yeah, I am.
Luckily, we bought the insurance.
Travel insurance, health insurance.
Yeah, I get it.
I mean, every week you go to explain it.
I get it every time.
It's a classic.
It is a classic.
There's just nothing funnier than insurance.
How's your pilot voice, by the way?
How's your pilot voice, by the way?
Yeah, we're going to be travelling at about 45,000 kilometres per hour.
Pretty good.
Your mic technique's too good to be a pilot, though.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
You've actually nailed that.
Tony's just headbutted. The reason it sounded shit for you, Liz Ding, and sorry about that,
Tony just headbutted the microphone.
That was awful.
Ladies and gentlemen.
You just sounded like Elvis.
Remember when I did the accent?
I'm going to fly this plane.
Remember when I did the accent from Las Vegas and I did Elvis
because I was like everybody.
Things you can say on a plane and also in the bedroom.
Ladies and gentlemen, strap yourself in.
Things are about to get turbulent.
Oh.
Now, be careful opening that up because things have shifted.
They aren't always as you left them.
Oh, I can see a landing strip down there.
It looks pretty wet, but we're coming in to land.
Oh, my gosh.
Fuck, is that all?
That was quick, wasn't it?
If you need some help breathing, just pull on this and wrap your mouth around it.
That's what it'll sound like.
That's not going to help you breathe, mate.
Quite the opposite.
I'm not going to get any sleep.
Thanks.
It's the hair.
It's the hair.
Yeah.
Thanks.
It's the hair.
It's the hair. It's the hair, yeah.
Do you think it's pretty sexy if, say, someone was picking you up in a bar
and they said, like, just when you said you're not going to get any sleep,
if they go, oh, I hope you don't have too much on tomorrow
because you're going to be tired.
Yeah, that is sexy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Considering how long this is going to take, do you reckon we'll eat once or twice
oh well i actually brought some snacks with me
how do you just lay in there having some snacks
i love it when they give you the bag of nuts
assume your position and brace for impact.
Hold on to your ankles.
Don't pretend like you haven't.
Do you mind if I take my shoes off?
I'd hope so.
Yeah, you would hope so.
Oh, no.
Sorry, you haven't paid enough to go in that area.
You can turn right, but you cannot turn left.
Not with those shoes.
Oh.
Bit of a bumpy ending.
What was your face then?
That was me figuring it out.
Yeah, fingering it out.
Sorry.
Tony.
Sorry.
Tony Louise.
Before we get going, I'll need you to watch this safety video.
Luckily he got that insurance, isn't it?
God, it didn't feel like he was going to get it up
in the beginning, did it?
False start.
It is surprising I can get something so big airborne.
So big.
Mate, it's a Cessna.
You're all good.
It's a bit too big to manoeuvre on the ground,
so I'm going to need some help guiding it in.
Oh. Business or pleasure? it's a bit too big to manoeuvre on the ground, so I'm going to need some help guiding it in.
Business or pleasure?
If you have to ask.
I don't know if this needs context.
As if, like, I'm speaking to someone who's going to get me from the airport.
Okay.
Once I've come, I'll grab a bag.
Sorry, no more context.
This is, if I have to explain it, it's not right,
but this is when you've crashed in the ocean.
Fucking hell.
Yeah, have you watched that show Lost?
If we go down and you need some attention, just blow on this.
Oh, God. If we go down and you need some attention, just blow on this. You can get off here, here or here.
I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I've got more.
That's also one of them.
It's incredible that those small flaps can make this whole thing
change direction.
Boom!
North!
That one's very good.
That's very funny.
Sorry, Tony.
Don't stand up until we've come to a complete stop.
Are we standing up anyway?
Wait.
God, there is such a long line for the toilet.
Oh, great.
I'm in the middle of two strangers again.
That's really funny.
And so relatable.
How fucking awkward is it when you're on a plane?
I hate being in the plane.
And you're in the...
Do you know, do you, every time you fly, seat selection?
Yep.
Obviously.
Yep.
A girl I used to work with, PJ, I talked about her last week.
Yeah.
She books it.
She just takes whatever seat she can get when she gets there.
So she gets to the airport.
She just gets to the airport and they go, do you want to sit here?
No, not for me.
No, thank you, bitch.
No.
I have to prepare.
Same.
I can see it in my mind.
I know where I'm going to sit.
Yep.
I actually sit in the same seat every time.
Oh, where?
Where's your fave?
Aisle, obviously.
And I have it like four or five rows from the back.
Yeah, we sit the last row if we can.
Yeah, I'll try and do that.
I like being able to pee. I like being close to there. You pee a lot as well. Yeah, and that's last row if we can. Yeah, I'll try and do that. I like being able to pee.
I like being close to there.
You pee a lot as well.
Yeah, and that's why I don't want to get up and annoy anyone else.
And fuck everyone off.
Yeah, no, back corner, out of the way.
Yeah.
And then I like to see everyone in front of me.
Is that one as well?
Well, when there's too many people behind you,
you don't know what's going on.
I tell you what, we won't be flying Virgin when we're done.
Do you think they'll sponsor us?
Oh, I didn't have that written down.
That was funny, though.
I'm proud of that.
This show is sponsored by Virgin, the thing that you're not.
After this trip. Oi! So
I want to know if you are turned on by what
turns Tony on. Okay, no. That makes it sound like this is something that happens a lot.
And it isn't. It's happened. It's happened recently
and you didn't hate it.
True?
True.
Oh, my God.
This makes me sound so bad.
Mate, I actually also, I told you this fucking story in confidence in the car and you were like, oh, you should tell that.
And I said, it's a bit weird.
And you said, no, all good.
And I said, well, I'm going to leave a certain part out.
And you went, all good.
That's the most important part.
And then now it's in it.
It's the most important part. And then now it's in it. It's the most important part.
So my boyfriend Torbs and I have been doing it for eight,
together for seven.
Yep.
We live in an apartment complex.
Yes.
And we live on the ground floor.
So we've got like where our living room doors open goes
out into a courtyard and it kind of is where, like, everybody's balcony is.
So it's a bit of like an echo chamber.
You can kind of hear everything.
Yeah, you can't really see other people's courtyards,
but it's definitely, it's the same space.
You can hear everyone else.
Yeah, like if people are playing music or chatting,
like you can hear them.
It's not like listening in, but you can hear what people are up to.
And Torbs and I, like last week, we were sitting on the couch eating dinner
and we're watching TV.
And I heard this sound.
And I heard this sound.
And I was like, oh, fuck, what was that?
Because I thought I heard a woman yelling.
And I was like, oh, my God, what's going on?
We need a helper.
Yeah, there's something wrong.
So I paused the TV.
Cleared out all other sounds so I could concentrate on what was happening.
Because I was like, what's going on?
I paused the TV.
Charles was like, what's wrong?
And I was like, did you hear that?
And then a couple of seconds passed and we hear it again.
What did it sound like?
Well, it didn't sound like she was in pain.
It sounded like she was fine, more than fine.
If you were to, like, replicate the sound, what would you,
how did it sound?
Well, it was a sexy noise.
Like what?
She was kind of, she was enjoying herself.
How did that sound?
I wouldn't know.
That's why I'm asking.
I genuinely need to know.
I wouldn't know.
That's why I'm asking.
I genuinely need to know.
So I heard, like it was intense.
Like she was having a good time.
Yeah.
And I was like, oh, okay, all good.
And then.
How loud?
Was it prominent? It was like it sounded like somebody was right next to their bedroom window
and their bedroom window was open or maybe they were on their couch
in their lounge room.
And like you said, because all the apartments open the same direction
and the echo chamber, it's just.
You can hear everything.
Was there someone else with her?
Yes.
So then you heard a male kind of echoing her enjoyment.
What did he sound like?
It was grunty and it was, like, powerful.
Grunty and powerful.
Yeah.
Anyway, so we hear that and we're like,
hee-hee, how funny, like, we're hearing people have sex,
it's so funny.
Yeah.
So then you turned the TV back on and carried on with your day?
We didn't turn the TV back on.
What do you mean?
Well.
What did you do instead?
That's not why you would just sit there and listen.
What is it?
What?
What did you do?
Well, so at first it was just like funny.
It was like, hee-hee-hee, you can hear people having sex.
And it's like childish and funny.
And it is funny.
Well, it's...
It's just something different.
It's just...
Not expected.
Yeah, and it's like, and sex is so normal.
It's like such a normal part of life.
But we just heard it and we were like, hee-hee, how funny.
Yeah, good on them.
It was a fucking public holiday.
You can tell they were having a great time.
Melbourne's open.
So was she.
And anyway, so we did not unpause the TV.
We listened.
And we were like, gosh, this is going to be over soon.
It actually went on for about 45 minutes.
What?
Yep.
Poor girl.
Poor fucking girl.
Did she sound like she was in pain or she was enjoying it? Oh, no, she was all good. So there Yep. Poor girl. Poor fucking girl. Did she sound like in pain or she was enjoying it?
Oh, no. She was all good. So there
would be points where... Impressive. Are you impressed by them?
I can't think of anything worse.
That just sounds like so much work, isn't it?
So... Who knows how long they'd been going
for before we joined as well.
So for 45
whole minutes, you sat there with no
sound, no TV, no radio podcast, Spotify, in your house yeah you sat there with no sound no tv no radio podcast spotify in
your house and just sat there listening but not in a sex pest kind of way it's contrary to the story
we'd pause the tv we listened to that and then we kind of just started chat like torbs and i just
started chatting like a fucking idle chit chat we were talking about like what we'd had for dinner and then I was like fuck isn't it crazy that you
actually can hear everything in our thing and I was like oh sometimes we have our tv on really
loud or play music really loud I'm like fuck you can actually hear everything what were you looking
at whilst you were listening well we were talking to each other. Yeah. And then, like, she'd be quiet for a little bit and then she'd arc up again and we'd go like.
Arc up.
Anyway, so it was fucking, it was very cool, I guess, for them.
And it was just funny.
And we were just chatting and, like, fucking.
What kind of mood did that put you in?
I don't want to do this.
This is the redacted part of the story.
So, well, so it was a, like I said, it was a public holiday.
Yep.
Nothing else to do.
Day off.
Well, Torps and I, like he had a beer.
I had.
So you settled in like you're a gold class.
No.
For the audio edition.
Yeah, got a charcuterie board, nice drinks turn the volume up reclined the chair
okay mate right so we'd had a drink and we were just like fucking sitting there chatting which we
often do we sit and chat a lot anyway and then she'd arc up and we'd go like we've had a drink
and then i, is it weird that listening to them have sex has kind of, you know?
What?
You know.
No.
Yeah.
It's kind of.
And then.
Kind of what?
Well, it's kind of like, they're doing it.
What if we did it?
That kind of thing.
In a cute way?
I just want to say something. I know that I'm really fucking dirty and really overtly like out there. they're doing it, what if we did it kind of thing. In a cute way or like a music?
I just want to say something.
I know that I'm really fucking dirty and really overtly like out there.
I'm such a prude when it comes to sex stuff.
No, I really am.
Are you sure about that?
Have you listened to the Tony and Ryan podcast?
Talking about my own sex life, I am like very confronted by that.
It's actually something I'm trying to like overcome.
So you're listening to these other people.
Yep.
And you're thinking.
I'm like, well, they're having a great time.
Good for them.
Maybe.
We could do that.
What did Topps think of this?
Well.
Did he need to be persuaded or was he already there?
No, he wasn't already there.
That would be.
But then I was like, maybe, you know, and he was like, yeah.
And then.
Was he just waiting for you to say it?
I don't know.
It's kind of like, like they were having a good time.
Yeah.
It wasn't like comical, like blah, blah, blah.
I should hope not. You know. It wasn't like comical, like blah, blah, blah. I should hope not.
You know, it wasn't like funny.
Like they were having a good fucking time and I was just like, oh,
you know, a little bit of and then we, you know.
Did you try and match your neighbours for?
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
And the reason is because I started telling you this story as well.
We have been the neighbours before.
Oh.
What do you mean?
I've told this story on the Jason PJ podcast before.
Okay.
R-I-D-P.
It doesn't exist anymore.
Why don't you tell the story on the podcast that does still exist?
Yeah.
Well, I'm about to, mate.
Fucking calm down.
All right.
Anyway, so this is at the old house we used to live at.
Okay.
We, oh, my God.
It was like a Sunday afternoon, which is our normal kind of time,
every Sunday afternoon.
Oh, afternoon delight.
Yep.
Lovely.
Before we have dinner.
Yep.
Yep. Before you eat. Yeah, afternoon delight. Yep. Lovely. Before we have dinner. Yep. Yep. Before you eat.
Yeah, exactly right. And we, you know, all good. It was like summer, we had the balcony door open
and you've been to our old house. Got to let some air in. Yeah, you do have to let some air in.
We had the balcony door open. You've been to our old house. It was kind of like all in one spot,
like the bedrooms were there
and then the living room and then the doors,
whereas our house now is like a bit more spread out.
Yeah, you're doing all right.
Thanks, mate.
Anyway, we were in our room.
Yep.
And you know how sometimes when you watch a film or like a concert,
a concert maybe is better, I think, you might clap like in the middle
of the, you might clap and cheer.
Like they do a musical number and you're like, oh, bravo.
Oh, amazing.
And then there might be like a little bit of time
and then you might clap again.
Like an encore.
Yep, maybe. time. Yep. And then you might clap again. Like an encore. Yep.
Maybe.
Yep.
Yep.
So the first musical number had happened.
Okay.
Sorry.
I've only just figured out what's going on.
Yep.
So that had happened.
And applause?
Yep.
There was an applause.
And then.
Who was the applauding?
Just us.
We were just applauding.
Okay.
Right.
Gotcha.
Yep.
And then after the next musical number.
Yep.
We were applauding.
Yep.
Together because we love each other.
Yep.
And then there was actual applauding outside.
From other people in the apartment complex.
Yep, the apartment across from us.
We were.
They started cheering and then something landed on our balcony.
What do you mean something landed on your balcony?
We then afterwards, so we like, I don't know,
went and had a shower or whatever.
Did you?
Yeah.
It was like fucking Wembley Arena.
whatever yeah it was like fucking wembley arena um and i went outside like went to shut the balcony door open it or whatever and there was a packet of the contraceptive pill on our balcony that
someone had thrown someone had thrown onto our balcony How did you feel about that?
I was really embarrassed.
Like, really fucking embarrassed.
Do you think the people at your current place would be embarrassed
or were they more like exhibitionists?
No, I think that they were just lost in the moment.
They were enjoying themselves and good for them.
It worked out great for us.
So it seems.
Yeah.
So I've been on both sides of the coin, if you will.
But, yeah, I wasn't planning on telling that story.
So my question to people in the Tony and Ryan podcast community,
the Tarpers, would you also be turned on by listening in, strangely,
to your neighbours go at it, or do you think that's a bit weird or would you be turned on by it?
Let us know.
Let us know.
I think, but how would you feel?
Like if you were living in an apartment or whatever
and you're just like, it's just a fucking, you know,
it's a nice night outside.
That's my answer.
But it's like a nice night outside.
You're just like, you know, sitting there with your wife.
Public holiday afternoon.
Exactly.
Delicious, yeah.
You know, and you're hearing that.
You're like, fuck, like, what if we, you know, become a statistic
and then you go and do it.
Become a statistic.
Yeah, be part of that community.
You would do it, right?
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, okay, good.
Because I felt like maybe it was a bit sex-pesty,
but it wasn't as if we fucking got a ladder out and were like,
what fucking building, what apartment are they in?
What apartment are they in?
I don't know.
About two levels above yours, one level?
Actually, I really don't because it's like an echo chamber,
that little part of our apartment.
So it could have been coming from anywhere.
It could have been fucking, yeah, it was coming somewhere.
Would other people in other apartments,
would they have also been aware?
Yeah, definitely.
It was loud, yeah.
But it made me think like, like fuck we do stuff in our
apartment all the time like and i'm not talking about sex stuff but like listen to music like
play guitar hero like you know all that stuff and i was like fuck you really can hear a lot in the
thing um but i think that most people would agree with that and they i reckon there would have been
other people in our apartment building that heard them fucking and went, we're on air.
Who's the lady that owns the cat?
Oh, well, I'm not going to say her name.
But you know who I'm talking about.
Yes, I do.
Who lives a few apartments down.
She does, yeah.
Can you just DM her and be like, did you hear?
And ask if they heard it.
And here's the thing, they'll assume that it was you
because you'll be like, did you hear some,
in inverted commas, random couple?
Someone in our building.
In inverted commas, random couple.
Someone in our building.
Find out and we'll give an update in the Facebook group.
All right, up next, Tony has seen the notebook for the first time.
People would have heard the noises I was making during that as well,
I reckon.
Wasn't the only one howling in her building.
Yeah.
That'll do.
Hey, it's Daniel from the Sunny Coast and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
Last week on the podcast, Tony mentioned that she'd never seen The Notebook.
Yeah.
And there were gasps.
People didn't like it.
They don't like anything I say.
Quickly though, Melanie Crabtree,
thank you for being an exclusive tarper,
a champion tarper as it were.
Chloe Smith and Cam Litchmore, call the Litchmob.
Nice.
Thank you.
Zachary Rankin and Travis Ledoux, welcome to the Patreonich Mob. Nice. Thank you. Zachary Rankin and Travis Ledoux.
Welcome to the Patreon team now.
Tony.
Should we start at the movie or start of what happened to the two of us last night?
Maybe what happened to the two of us.
Okay.
So after Tony said she'd never seen The Notebook,
gasps from all around.
Because it's like an old classic, right? People are like, of course you've seen The Notebook. Yep. Gasps from all around. Because it's like an old classic, right?
People are like, of course you've seen The Notebook.
It's like a staple.
Yeah, and it's not even that it's like the greatest or the worst
or whatever.
It's just one of those things that everyone's seen it.
And I'm pretty sure the meme or the scene of tell me what you want
and they go back and forth, that in itself has become a bit
of a cultural staple, if you will.
And also that like scene where they're in the rain, he picks her up,
she jumps into his arms and they're kissing.
It's one of those things.
And they've both gone on to have massive careers, like Ryan Gosling.
They're both really well known, obviously.
How good is the movie Love and Other Drugs?
Have you?
No.
No, not Love and Other Drugs.
Sorry.
Crazy Stupid Love.
Haven't seen it.
Oh, that movie's really good.
It's got Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling in it.
It's really good.
You do love Emma Stone, haven't you?
I do really like her, yeah.
Well, she's great.
So Tony and I are in our own houses.
Yes, separately.
We both watched it last night.
Yes.
I get a message from Tony saying,
why have you made me watch this, dot, dot, dot,
and that's all I knew.
So I tried to call you back. Yeah. So you made me watch this, dot, dot, dot, and that's all I knew. So I tried to call you back.
Yeah.
So you called me.
I rejected your call and then you called me again
and the reason I rejected your call is because I was bawling my eyes out.
Inconsolable.
Like I could, I still feel the same way.
I actually couldn't talk. I've watched this what was
about it that made you so sad um oh well the thing that I cried about is that I said I work
all the time and we've talked about this before that you and I we have day jobs like we work like
nine to five Monday to Friday jobs and then we do our podcast on the weekend and anything else that
we do like film videos and all that stuff we do that on the weekend and I bawled my eyes out and said this movie has made
everything feel so insignificant and what if one day I wake up and regret how much I've worked and
wasted time not wasted time but spent time not with Torbs. And I was like, what am I doing with my life?
I started to question everything.
I'm quite a dramatic person.
I was bawling my eyes out.
Torbs was crying.
Like, he got the tissue fucking box.
Like, we were messes.
And I can't overstate, I couldn't understand a word you were saying.
It was as if someone had broken into your house
and, like, killed your pet.
Yeah.
Like, howling inconsolable.
You were yelling at Torbz for something he didn't understand.
Torbz was yelling at me because he was like,
Ryan, we need a code word that I can text you
that then you have to text Tony and tell her not to watch movies
because this is affecting our relationship.
Yep.
What was his vibe on it? you that then you have to text Tony and tell her not to watch movies because this is affecting our relationship. Yep.
And because.
What was his vibe on it?
Well, he was just sad because it's like a sad fucking movie.
Yeah.
No, but the fact that he was there crying and then I don't want to say dealing with you, but he was, would have been consoling you and trying to help you through the moment.
So I said exactly what I just said then about like, oh, I work so much, you know, like,
am I going to regret that one day?
And he was like, no matter how much you work in your life, you're going to get to the end
of it and go, I wish I did more of this.
I wish I didn't have to work all the time.
So logical.
He is very pragmatic.
That would annoy you, wouldn't it?
Well, actually, no, because whenever I'm upset, he says, are we feelings or strategy based
right now? Really? Yeah. So he says, and I'll go, I'm upset, he says, are we feelings or strategy-based right now?
Really?
So he says, and I'll go, I'm feelings.
I just need to feel this.
And he'll go, okay, mate, all good.
Cry it out and we'll complain.
And then I get it out and he goes, okay, strategy time?
And I'm like, yeah.
And he's like, all right, mate, well, all you need to do is think about that
when you get to the end of your life.
Strategy or feelings.
This is amazing work. So that's how we get through any issue
i wish torbs had have taught me that years ago it would have saved so much stress and he's such he
would be a really good like marriage counselor i reckon because he's just really straightforward
but he's also super sensitive like he is very understanding and very loving
but also is like just so, yeah, I don't know.
I think he'd be a good boss or manager because I,
how do I say this without throwing the people under the bus?
A former person I worked with used to go to the boss like
in a huff and a puff.
Oh.
And sort of similar now that I think about it,
the boss would be like, oh, are you looking for me to help
or a solution or do you just need to complain to someone?
Yeah.
And they'll be like, oh, I think I just need to complain.
I'm like, okay, what's wrong?
Cool, I'll listen.
Yeah, and just listen.
And it was just that, do you need me to help
or do you just need to get this out?
Yeah.
Which is strategy or emotion, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, like do you need to just bitch about this thing
and feel irrational right now?
And just feel heard? Or do you need me to bitch about this thing and feel irrational right now? And just feel heard?
Or do you need me to actually help you fix it, basically?
And I always want to feel first and then when I've gotten that out
and I'll be like, okay, now I feel normal,
I need to talk about how we can fix this.
Anyway, so we did our feelings based first and then he was like, mate,
like you are-
Are you quitting the podcast?
No, I'm not.
Is this over?
But when I said that to you on the phone, I could hear you go.
Well, it wasn't about you quitting the podcast.
I felt guilty for what was happening.
Because I was just beside myself.
No, but you were like, I'm working Saturdays.
And I was like, oh, that Saturday is like time you spend with me.
Am I the cause of this?
Yeah, no, absolutely not.
And Torb's kind of said, you are building something so great with Ryan
and all the hard work that you guys are putting in at the moment
is going to pay dividends in the future and make our future better.
He was frosty to me this morning.
No, he wasn't.
No, he wasn't.
There was a frost in the air.
No, he wasn't.
But anyway, so I think it just was one of those movies,
put my life into perspective.
I, to be honest. It's been great working with you. No, this is not the end. No one has those movies, put my life into perspective. I, to be honest.
It's been great working with you.
No, this is not the end.
No one has to stress.
It's fine.
Lauren Phillips will be replacing you.
I wish I will.
But I think I went into watching this movie with a very closed mind.
I was like, I'm not going to like this.
It's a dumb fucking girls movie.
But it's actually fucking really beautiful and sad.
Yeah.
And I think, so no fucking spoilers because it came
out literally like 60 years ago.
Yeah.
At the end, it's an old couple retelling the story
of their love.
It turns out that it's actually them.
She, as an old woman, has dementia and actually can't remember
and kind of has fleeting moments of like lucid like memories and recognises him
and then at the end of the movie they hop into bed together
and she says, do you think that?
Oh, God.
What happened to the end?
And she just says like, do you think that our love is strong enough
to take us away together?
And he says, our love can do anything.
And then they just, like, die together and it's really special.
Because they don't want to live without each other.
And she's in pain and she can't remember anything.
Like, oh, my gosh.
It's, yeah.
It's a movie that just, like, put everything into perspective
and I was like, am I concentrating on the right things right now?
And I think I am.
Are you?
I think I am, yeah.
But you know those times when you're like, fuck,
I'm putting so much love into something or it's like an unrequited,
not unrequited love, but you know a situation
where you're putting heaps of effort into something
and getting nothing fucking back and you're like, hang on, why am I?
This is bullshit.
Yeah.
Yep.
And I was like, fuck, am I spending my love and time
on the right things right now?
And I think that I am, but it made me just like think like, fuck.
Just ask the question.
Yeah.
No, I feel that.
Yeah.
I feel that.
I have that every day.
Do you really?
When I get up in the morning, like especially when I used
to do breakfast radio and it was really early,
when your alarm goes off at 3.30, 4 o'clock,
you question everything.
You're like, should I quit today?
Oh, you're like, you're so tired, your alarm's going off
and you just go, is this what I, am I doing this?
Are we doing this?
By the time I've had a shower, I've probably like answered
the question like, yes, you are today.
But you're just like, yeah, I used to ask myself that all the time.
Yeah.
I still kind of do.
One thing about them dying together, which is just like the most beautiful thing.
It's very poetic, yeah.
I always say to Bridget, I shotgun dying first.
Oh, same.
Because I couldn't live without her.
I don't want to live without her.
Oh, my God.
I'm so glad Torbs is older than me.
Bridget's older than me too.
Yeah, thank God.
But do you think they're both healthier than us?
I mean, Bridget's been going to yoga, so maybe.
Yeah, she's really.
How much are you guys exercising?
Well, yeah, like normal amount.
Which is?
Well, like three times a week.
Yeah.
We do the ring fit, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But the thing is, you just, like,
Torbs has no fucking medical history in his family.
Like, his family's, like, never had cancer.
Like, they're all good.
My family's fucked.
It must be nice to have medical history.
Yeah, that's actually a good point.
I often go to the doctor.
Have you got a history of, maybe, don't I?
Like, I actually have no idea.
So Bridget and I go to watch the movie last night,
and different to you, Bridget's seen it a million times.
Yeah.
So she knows what's coming.
Yeah.
She knows what she's in for.
Yeah.
She also knows that later on today we're going out for dinner
with some friends and stuff and she's put a tan on.
She's doing a tan.
So within, and should I mention the other part that she mentioned to you?
That she's got her period.
Okay.
So she knows that her emotions are heightened.
We're literally in the first scene and I look over and she is gone.
Already.
Gone for all money, crying, and then she's like,
I don't know if I'm in.
She doesn't sound like it, but she's like,
I don't know if this is the right time for me to watch this movie.
Fucking fair enough.
It's an emotional ride.
I'm in an emotional state.
It just, there's a lot happening.
It was a Friday as well.
She was tired after a long week.
You're at the end of the week.
Yeah, we'd had a few drinks and she was like, it was all happening.
Yeah.
So then I glance over and it's not just like a few tears.
It's fucking happening.
Her face is happening.
There's a downpour of tear on her face.
And because she's just done the tan.
The fake tan, yep.
Do you know how these new rapper kids,
at the risk of me sounding like the oldest white dad ever,
the Island Boys, would have like the teardrops marked,
like the tattoos of teardrops or whatever?
Yeah, I don't think that's rapper boys.
Isn't that if you've killed someone in prison?
Whatever your backstory.
Yeah.
Cool for you, bro.
Yeah, okay.
Bridget's teared away the fake tan, so it's like the reverse.
So there's white patches of like her normal untanned skin
of the tear lines
and then like the bronzer around it
but like you could see it a mile away
and so then she had to go
and like take off all the fake tan
and reapply
whilst crying to herself in the mirror
so if you walked in
similar to your story
but a little bit different
the neighbours would have heard this girl in the bathroom like.
Well, the neighbours would have heard me howling as well.
You were howling.
I was bawling.
Inconsolable.
And I'm not just talking like, oh, my God.
I was like.
Like I was fucking off.
I think when I called you, I said, please don't yell at me.
Yeah.
So anyway, so Bridget's gone and
reapplied her tan. Did you keep watching the movie? No. You called it off. No, she called it
off. I spent time in the bathroom consoling her. Then you, so I literally just like calmed Bridget
down and helped her reapply the makeup. And I'm like, oh, that was a bit of an ordeal. Maybe I'll
get back to it. Then you call me back and I'm like, oh, Tony, you'll never guess this what
happened because the movie is so emotional. And're like yeah so not only was i dealing with
how emotional the movie is then you're like well we actually couldn't watch it because it was so
fucking emotional and bridget was like i'm not in a good place and i was like don't watch it do
yourself a favor and don't fucking watch the movie um So it was a bit of an ordeal but.
Ordeal is the best word.
Yeah, I think it was just when you called me
and I rejected your call and you called me again,
I was just like.
It is a good movie but I.
Never watch it again.
It was fucking... It was...
It was...
Oh.
I don't know why anyone would watch that more than once.
No, neither do I.
Like, why would you re-watch that fucking movie?
Yeah, no.
And you know how it's one of those movies that people are like,
oh, I'll watch that during a breakup.
No fucking way.
That's the worst time to watch it.
No fucking way.
It's a love story.
It's a beautiful love story.
Because you'll be watching that in a recent breakup going,
oh, so I'm just going to die alone and not have this glorious thing.
At least we've got partners to console each other and go,
oh, hey, isn't this beautiful?
We have a beautiful life like they do.
Yeah.
Yeah, I really, yeah, I don't think there's any love to see it
that can follow that because I just.
We can't end on this sad note though.
Oh, I do have something though.
Oh, okay.
Actually, maybe I'll do it.
Should we just try and like
You know
Slowly
Slowly
Just
Bring ourselves back up
Yeah
I hope that if anybody else watched it
That they did okay
We can
Maybe we should set up like a
The notebook helpline or something
If you need emotional support
After watching the notebook
Reach out
Notebook is anonymous
Yeah
We'll put a post in the group on the episode thread today.
To counteract the sad, sad movie and the emotional state
that Tony, Torbs, Ryan and Bridget went through last night.
Yeah, wow.
It was a real fucking...
Next week, and we'll get the Tarpers and Patreons
to vote on which one.
Yes.
What is the opposite in terms of what movie will put us
in the happiest, most glorious, sunny mood?
So what's a movie that you always watch to pick yourself up?
Yep.
Love that.
And then we'll all watch that together.
Like I said, everyone put your comments in.
We'll pick a top five.
We'll vote on it.
We'll all watch it together.
But what makes you feel really great and guarantees,
and here's the line, what will guarantee to leave you smiling?
Okay.
Yeah, I like that.
I actually do have a You'll Love To See It.
Go on.
Last night, Torbs was going over to Coles.
This is before we watched The Notebook.
He was going over to Coles and his phone was flat.
Oh, great news.
And I was like, take my phone.
Yeah, great news.
He couldn't fucking call me.
I was like, take my phone so that you can check in and stuff.
Anyway, so I was sitting at
home, no phone. He comes back. And then I went to post something on Instagram, post one of our
videos. And there's all this, so Torbs is like the tech head in our house. He's the software
developer. There's all these photos of the QR code. And it just made me laugh so much. Like,
instead of doing the thing, he was like, I just couldn't fucking figure out how to work your phone.
I was like, all right, granddad.
It was so funny.
Is your fucking phone full of...
It made me laugh so long.
Tony, what have I just showed you?
You've just shown me a photo in your photo album
of you taking a picture of a QR code.
I've got heaps of them.
How?
It's so easy.
You're just scared.
But the thing doesn't line up.
You just press the button and you're like, oh, shit, I've taken a photo.
Fucking hell.
I've got a whole folder of them.
I saw this amazing story and it was this young girl whose mum called her
and was like, hey, Gabby.
And she's like, hey, mum.
And she's like, oh, so now that I've taken the photos of the QR codes everywhere, what do I
do with the photos? And she was like
no mum, like that's not how it works
it's fucking very sweet. Except
she hasn't checked it anywhere.
And then she got COVID and died so
real tough break. But yeah, I thought
that was just quite funny and cute.
Speaking of mums just, you know,
being great. Must be nice. I saw a
Sorry mate. Thanks mate. First in my book nowadays. Speaking of mums just, you know, being great. Must be nice. I saw a...
Sorry, mate.
Thanks, mate.
First in my book nowadays.
Rub it in.
I've destroyed your weekend.
Weekend.
Not...
Vagina.
Vagina.
There was this video of a young African-American man,
like early 20s, and he's at his laptop hitting refresh,
waiting for the results of his law exam to come through.
It's his last ever subject,
and he's the first generation to even go to college.
And his mum walks in and goes,
oh, have you got the results?
Are you a lawyer yet?
And he goes, no, not yet.
I'm a lawyer.
And she just bawls her eyes out.
She's so proud of her son.
And I cried when I watched that.
That hit me harder than the notebook.
Okay, Tony's are gone, folks.
Stop their meowing, though.
See ya.
Bye-bye.
Oh.
Meow.
Leave the meowing to me, mate. Meow. I'll say myself.