Toni and Ryan - Sexy Hospitals

Episode Date: October 4, 2021

We need to chat about Kath and Kim, and also things you can say in a Hospital, and also in the Bedroom. Also we started a Patreon!!! You can find it at patreon.com/ToniandRyan. And don't forget to joi...n our Facebook Group! Love you x Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, Annabelle speaking. Hi, Annabelle. It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? Good, thank you. How are you? We are well. Well, I'm well, but I just need to give you a warning.
Starting point is 00:00:13 Tony's actually in a bad mood. Oh, dear. What the? No, I'm not. I'm not in a bad mood. Sorry, Annabelle. Don't tell people that I'm in a bad mood because then they think I'm a bitch and I'm not. See what I'm talking about, Annabelle?
Starting point is 00:00:27 I'm not even in a bad mood. I'm in a great mood. I just thought about eating a cracker. I've got some water in front of me. I'm good to go. Very assertive. Oh, fuck off. Sorry, Annabelle, about him.
Starting point is 00:00:39 That is quite all right. Annabelle, we were just wondering if we could get your approval to get started with the podcast today. Of course you can. I would love to. Maybe you need to ask my permission, mate, because you've really pissed me off. I actually, Annabelle, you can do the podcast with Ryan
Starting point is 00:00:55 because I don't approve. See, I was right. The Annabelle and Ryan podcast. Wow, she had that ready to go. Yeah, it's like she had this prepared earlier. Wow, okay. Didn't even need to think about it. Have you guys been, you know, talking behind my back?
Starting point is 00:01:08 Hi, it's Annabelle from Melbourne and I approve this podcast. Tony, I think this episode is going to get graphic. Oh, I love that. Coming up, because yesterday we spoke about the fact I ended up in a medical centre for some embarrassing reasons and lots of other people did as well. So coming up this episode, things you can say in the hospital and things you can say in the bedroom.
Starting point is 00:01:43 I... This one took a lot of turns for me when I was thinking about it, to be honest. All good or...? Oh, no. Absolutely not. Yeah, right. Well, that's coming up.
Starting point is 00:01:57 Okay. And it's usually this episode is when we get the messages of, I've hurt myself, I had to stop listening at the gym because I dropped a weight. My apologies in advance. Now, last week, I'm going to say it was the throwaway comment that really got you upset. Well, you said that you don't really like Carthage and Kim.
Starting point is 00:02:21 You said, nah, I don't get it. Never got it. Not for me. I did say that. I've actually prepared a statement. Oh, okay. Because I've called upon the media outlets of Melbourne. Okay, yeah, all the media that we're going to get, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:37 Oh! Mate, that's very funny. Mate, that's very funny. Last week, I joked about not understanding what the deal is with Kath and Kim. I joked about not thinking the show was funny. I joked about the people who like the show, and I judged them. But after some reflection, and after watching some episodes last night, I can confirm that the Joker
Starting point is 00:03:07 is me. The Joker is me. The Joker is me. The Joker is me. Beautiful, mate. I accept your apology.
Starting point is 00:03:40 Okay, so I was- Did you know that that's Kim singing? It's Gina Riley that sings the intro. What? What? What? Okay, here was my plan. Oh, sorry. I was going to come in.
Starting point is 00:03:54 I was going to admit to I made a mistake because I've watched it and I enjoyed it last night when I watched it. Good, yeah. So I actually called you last night and you said, I've got to call you back, I'm watching Kevin Kim, which I've never wanted to hear more in my life. Yeah, I know. As soon as I said that, I heard you go, okay.
Starting point is 00:04:08 I was like, okay, see ya. And I thought, not only will I come in and say how much I liked it, but then I'm going to come and drop some knowledge. Some facts. And blow Tony's mind and tell her that the person who sings this is the actress who plays Kim. Yeah, mate, you're going to have to work a lot harder if you want
Starting point is 00:04:29 to confound me with Kath and Kim knowledge. I've been to the house. Really? So last year, oh, no, not last year, the year before, the owners of the house were selling it and they were like, we're going to do a big tour through the house. Hang on, we're going to do a big tour. There's an open home because it's for sale.
Starting point is 00:04:51 No, no, no, no, no. So the woman actually, very sadly, who owned it, her husband passed away to brain cancer. That's sad. And so she was like, we own the Kath and Kim house. There's billions of people that would love to sticky beak through the house. So before we sell it. So before we sell it.
Starting point is 00:05:05 So before we sell it, they opened it up. They had a big sausage sizzle. They had like merch for sale. And yeah, you like walked through the house. There's like all these photos. I'll post one in the group. That's so good. There's all these photos of me and my friend Sash
Starting point is 00:05:17 and my friend Cam going through the house. How long do you reckon we lined up for? Three hours. Yep. Guess a life. Yep. Get a life. Yep. And there was, so it's in a cul-de-sac and literally the line went. Sorry, you live in Victoria now.
Starting point is 00:05:31 It's called a, what are they called in Australia? No, in Victoria. It's cul-de-sac, isn't it? No, no. Oh, is it not? Not a roundabout. That's a roundabout. That's a roundabout.
Starting point is 00:05:40 A dead ass. I don't think we use the word cul-de-sac. Oh, okay. Let me, no, you go. roundabout. A dead air house. I don't think we use the word cul-de-sac. Oh, okay. In Kath and Kim, at one point, Kim says, can we live in a cul-de-sac? I've always wanted to live in a cul-de-sac. Anyway, so they live in a cul-de-sac and the line, no joke, went all the way down the cul-de-sac, all the way back around up the other side and down the road. It was impossible to get parking. I'm not good with lines. That would make me anxious.
Starting point is 00:06:06 I'd feel claustrophobic. We were there for ages. We were like standing in the sun. And it's a pretty stock house. I don't mean that in an offensive way, but the whole joke of it is it's like very suburban and normal. So it's actually not. So they put up a big fake fence at the back of the house. It backs on to the quay and all of the houses around them,
Starting point is 00:06:24 it backs on to the water and all the houses around them have boats at their back doors. What? Yeah. So when they do those big aerial shots, it's just all CGI or? Well, I actually don't think those aerial shots are of their actual house. Right.
Starting point is 00:06:37 But, yeah, they're right on the water. Oh, so they live in the Lux lot. Yeah. So the house is, like, gorgeous. Yeah, good on them. But, yeah, when obviously, like, it's made to look a bit, like, very Aussie kind of battler. So I remember a few weeks ago that someone said,
Starting point is 00:06:54 I couldn't wait to listen to the next episode just so I could hear Ryan say he was wrong because I said something about being wrong. Yeah, good girl. So I've got some, I don't want to just sit here and make excuses for my comments last week. That's okay. Heaven forbid I have to call the media again. Yes.
Starting point is 00:07:07 I mean, it took them that long to get here. COVID passes, et cetera. Yeah, I know. It's a nightmare. But here's some interesting, because then I kind of went, oh, why didn't I like this? You know, I kind of had that chat with myself. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:20 Back in the day, you had to watch it when it was on. Yeah, it was on the ABC. I mean, the very final season was on Channel 7, but before that watch it when it was on. Yeah, it was on the ABC. I mean, the very final season was on Channel 7, but before that, yeah, it was on ABC. Who's watching ABC? But I remember thinking, like, when I was in high school, like, I used to play volleyball, right, and say, for instance, Tuesday nights was, like, when we had training.
Starting point is 00:07:39 And I remember just you'd miss whole shows because you're like, oh, but Survivor's on Tuesdays and I'm not home on Tuesdays. So the best show of my life I could never have seen just because it's not on the schedule. Yes. And so because I. What an unlocked memory. It's crazy, right? Of being like, oh, yeah, that was on on a Tuesday night.
Starting point is 00:07:54 So we just never watched it because on Channel 10, Something Better was on Tuesday night. So you just never saw that on Channel 9. Yeah, and maybe we lived in times where your two favourite shows ever run at the same time, so you missed your second favourite show. Exactly, yeah. You'll never know how much you loved it. Or you had to flick over during the ads. Like you'd be like, oh, my God, it's the ad break, and then you'd flick over.
Starting point is 00:08:14 Yeah. Where are they up to? Oh, no, but they're about to release The Kitchen on the Block. Flick back to them. Yeah. And because anybody in America is probably thinking, don't you have cable TV and like TiVo and stuff? That's like Foxtel is what it's called here.
Starting point is 00:08:26 And that's not really that common. But I think still when you have cable, you still have that, you can only watch one thing at a time and it might not be on loop. But TiVo is a thing that's like recording TV. We don't have that here. Come on, yeah. Sorry, anyway. No, but I actually find that fascinating because I didn't hate the show,
Starting point is 00:08:47 but it just occurred to me the reason I wasn't fully into it is because I never had a chance to watch it, which seems so like the lamest excuse, but I was like, oh, there's nothing that I didn't love. I just didn't. See it. Yeah. Yeah, that's okay. Is that an okay excuse?
Starting point is 00:08:59 But then maybe you shouldn't have come out and said, no, I don't get it. You should have just said, I haven't seen it. Well, maybe I didn't get the hype because I wasn't in the hype. Yeah, your story's changing, mate. Okay, okay. Here's my next excuse. Okay. Or maybe not an excuse because I remember people in the group being like,
Starting point is 00:09:13 how do I watch this from overseas? Yeah. I don't know the answer to that question. I'm pretty sure it's on Netflix. Is it? But you know how Netflix is sometimes slightly different in other places? I do know that, yeah. Here's my flag.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Okay. Would some of the humour be lost if you're not from australia because there's a lot of australian even them saying i'm going to fountain gate like i know that shopping center so i know that's actually funny to say they actually film it at southland really yep so they don't actually go to fountain gate which is a real shopping center in melbourne um they go they it's all filmed at Southgate. Southland. That is blowing my mind. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:48 See, mate, my facts are better than yours. So I guess if you don't know the funny locations, maybe like they always have jokes about Shane Warne. If you're in the US, you might not know that Shane Warne is the Prime Minister of Australia. He's not. He's a cricket player. He's not. He's a cricket player.
Starting point is 00:10:01 By the way. And loves to text. But I would say, and I think we said this last week, I feel like years later it's still really funny. Yeah, because you watch it and pick up new things. So there's heaps of references that I under, so I've been watching Captain Kim since it was coming out weekly on the ABC.
Starting point is 00:10:18 So I've been watching it for years. There's still things now that I pick up that now that I live in Victoria, so I've lived in Victoria now for almost four years, that are so much funnier than they were because in WA, like, stuff's called different things or I don't get the references to pubs around, like, there's a part in DeKath & Kim Code, which is the first movie that they released, and they're all drunk after their Christmas party and they're like,
Starting point is 00:10:42 where should we go? Oh, Mount View, Mount Spew, that pub. Like people call it Mount Spew instead of Mount View. That's just down the road here. Yeah, it's just down the road. And they talk about going there and now I'm like, oh, I get that and that's funny, which is why last week in our Facebook group, which you can join on our Instagram and TikTok bio, sorry,
Starting point is 00:10:59 my brain's not working then, I put in the group a Kath and Kim thread for all questions to come through because if people had questions for Kath and Kim needed, you know. Oh, you would have been in your element answering these questions. A translation. Well, actually, no one asked any questions. People were just posting quotes. Really?
Starting point is 00:11:14 I've made myself redundant. Enough people watched the show and liked it and got it that they didn't need me. No questions required. I know. I was really heartbroken. I thought I was going to be able to answer all these questions. Rubbing your hands together.
Starting point is 00:11:26 Oh, now. Oh. What? You know Hard Quiz by Tom Gleeson? Yeah. If you went on Hard Quiz, would your topic be Kath and Kim? Oh, my God, maybe. The Joker is me.
Starting point is 00:11:42 The expert is me. The expert is me Well, so you know how you just said, how do you actually watch Kath and Kim? Yeah. In Australia, it's on Netflix. So it's having this big revival because it got added to Netflix like two years ago and it was very exciting because before then I had all the Kath and Kim episodes on DVD,
Starting point is 00:12:04 do-ee-doo-ee-doo dooly, and they were all scratched and fucked because I had them for years. Yeah, and you carried them around. Yeah, moved house and, yeah. And who's got a DVD player now? Do you know what I mean? Yeah. You know how sometimes the-
Starting point is 00:12:17 My laptop doesn't even have a DVD hole in it anymore. There was an era where TVs had the DVD player built in. Oh, when DVDs were new and you could get a VCR with a DVD player in it, like it was the combo. Which option do you want, guys? Because I've got multiple choices for you. Yeah, you can pop it in the VHS or the DVD. Anyway, I have been using something on Netflix,
Starting point is 00:12:41 which I found out is quite controversial, and I would like to get your thoughts on it and find out if other people listening are using it as well. What is it? The shuffle option on Netflix. What do you mean shuffle option? What? What do you mean? So, you know how...
Starting point is 00:12:58 It's not an iPod choosing Britney Spears songs for you. Just pop her on shuffle. They're all good. It's all good. Don't worry about picking one. On the left-hand side, you know how when you are on the Netflix screen and it's got, like, the home button, the search button, and there's, like, a film button or a TV button or, like, all?
Starting point is 00:13:16 You don't use the app? No, it's on the app. Sure. Okay, yeah. No, so, you know, if you search for something on Netflix. Oh, sorry, I don't use the app on my phone. I use the app on our TV. You've got an app on your TV?
Starting point is 00:13:30 Yeah, I've got a smart TV. You've got a smart TV? Who doesn't have a smart TV? If you come in here one more time. Your TV is literally one inch big, so. I will not be accused of what of mine is one inch big. And if you ever come in here again claiming, oh, Rich Ryan and his money must be nice. And you've got a smart TV. Who doesn't
Starting point is 00:13:52 have, everybody's got a smart TV. I don't have a smart TV. Yeah, because your TV is so small. They don't even make smart TVs that small. Sorry, that's aggressive. Just talking down to a regular person. You've changed, mate. Your podcast is going well. You've got a few social followers. Now you're talking down to people who don't even own a smart TV. We actually have two smart TVs. Oh, Jesus Christ. One for each bathroom. Nice.
Starting point is 00:14:17 Think how different your life is at the moment. Two TVs, two bathrooms. Mate. Big courtyard. Two bedrooms as well. You've only got one. Who's counting? You apparently.
Starting point is 00:14:27 Okay. It doesn't come up on the app. I'm so... Okay. I think I can show you on my computer. Well, I don't understand because I use a Chromecast and an app, but please, for everyone else, all the rich people that listen to our podcast with smart TVs,
Starting point is 00:14:40 please tell me your story. All right. Unplug your headphones and come over here. I love it when you get this real. Like, you tell me what story. All right. Unplug your headphones and come over here. I love it when you get this real. Like, you tell me what to do. Mate. All right. So Ryan's not near a microphone right now,
Starting point is 00:14:52 but I'm about to show him something. Oh, my God. It doesn't come up on. This is the worst story you've ever told. Oh, my God. Oh, fuck. I'm so upset. He's looking on a laptop and it's not even there.
Starting point is 00:15:04 It's not an option on your computer. This is a great story. Well, I'm just going to head back to my microphone. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. For anybody that's listening and knows what I'm talking about,
Starting point is 00:15:17 it's a real, real thing. Okay. So when you go onto the Netflix app on your smart TV, there's a shuffle button on the side and you hit shuffle on Netflix and it just spits out like a few different things that you can watch, so stuff that you wouldn't necessarily normally click on. Now, is these a truly random shuffle or is it one of those algorithm, like I know you watch a lot of thrillers, here's a thriller you might not have thought,
Starting point is 00:15:43 like is it kind of geared towards you? It does a a bit of both so it throws in a couple of wild cards what wild card have you been thrown um so I've gotten thrown a few scary things um and I don't really watch a lot of no well I like scary stuff but I really have to be in the mood yeah like if I'm having an anxious day I can't watch something scary otherwise I like won't walk down to the bin room or like to my car because I'm scared that I'm going to get murdered in my car park. However, there has been a few bangers, a few clangers, but a few bangers. That's not a saying.
Starting point is 00:16:15 I just made that up. It should be. We'll call it clangers or bangers and every week we'll decide which it is. I love that. I love that too. That's a really good idea. I'm going to write it down.
Starting point is 00:16:23 All right. Anyway, so, well, now the story doesn't make sense. It never has. Oh, okay. Go to the ad. I'll just go fuck myself. Good idea, though, the bangers and clangers. I like that.
Starting point is 00:16:37 Hey, Ryan, I've got this really great story about this search thing. Fuck off! Fuck off! I came up with a great idea, the bangers and clangers. We'll do my idea before hospital and bedroom because it's so good. Everyone will love this story and really relate to it. Turns out only rich people know. Hey, it's Annabelle and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
Starting point is 00:17:12 So we mentioned yesterday we have officially launched a Tony and Ryan podcast, Patreon. So in Australia, I feel like we know what Patreon is, but it's actually not that common here and we felt a bit weird about it. But so many people said, we're loving the podcast. How can we support you? We'd love to contribute. We'd love to contribute. We'd love we're loving the podcast. How can we support you? We'd love to contribute. We'd love to contribute. We'd love you to do more episodes.
Starting point is 00:17:28 How can we make this possible? So we've got different tiers of ways you can support. The lowest tier is four Australian dollars a month, and from that, we will get people who approve the podcast. You can vote on the movies and TV shows we talk about, and we will love you forever because you're supporting us do this thing that we actually really love. Can I say something embarrassing, Toni?
Starting point is 00:17:46 No. What? Yeah. Pick a reaction, any reaction. Toni and I text each other the day before we record and say, guess what day it is tomorrow? We do. And we go, oh, it's recording day.
Starting point is 00:18:02 It's the best day of the week. Yeah, because we really love it. We love it. So if you want to support oh, it's recording day. It's the best day of the week. Yeah. Yeah. Because we really love it. We love it. So if you want to support us, we'd love that. And if you can't, don't, it doesn't feel right, like as in it's a podcast, it's free and it always will be. Yeah. There is no pressure because, like I said, in Australia,
Starting point is 00:18:14 it's actually not a thing, which is why we feel really uncomfortable about it. Yeah. And the podcast will never change. No. It's always going to be exactly what it is. We're not going to go, oh, there's going to be shorter episodes or we're going to do less episodes.
Starting point is 00:18:27 If anything, we could probably do more if people can support us. So no matter what tier it is, whether it's $4 or $1,000. There's a $1,000 a month option where Tony will actually learn how to be a marriage celebrant just for you to officiate your wedding and there's a bunch of different options. So if you can get around us, we would love you. And the final thing I'll say about it is that for every one person who joins us in October, we will eat one nugget.
Starting point is 00:18:55 So if 10 people sign up. 10 nuggets. If 1,000 people sign up. 1,000 nuggets. I actually don't think it'll be 1,000 because we'll probably die at 800, but at least you can contribute to our death. But whatever the amount of patrons that we have on the 31st of October, that's how many nuggets we're going to eat.
Starting point is 00:19:11 And we kind of talked about maybe doing like a live stream. Well, if it's a thousand, it might take a while to do that live stream. Yeah. Or we'll sit down and we'll eat them all together and we'll video it. But you will see the evidence and of, you know, Ryan holding my hair back while I vomit at the end as well. Yeah. Because I haven't done that for a while. Make sure you wear some comfy pants, I reckon, that day.
Starting point is 00:19:30 And some long gloves. Yeah. All right. So thank you very much for even asking about it. And like I said, patreon.com slash Tony and Ryan, and it'll be in the Facebook group and stuff as well. And the show notes. And the show notes.
Starting point is 00:19:43 I can pop it in there. Oh, thanks, man. Yeah, no worries. And also put it in the show notes and stuff as well. And the show notes. And the show notes. I can pop it in there. Oh, thanks, man. Yeah, no worries. And also put it in the show notes. All right. Yesterday I talked about the fact that I ended up in hospital for a really embarrassing reason. I got excited about my exam results.
Starting point is 00:19:53 I'm doing an MBA. Congratulations, though. Thank you. I went to put my arms up to give Bridget a big hug and accidentally punched the lights out of this low-hanging light over the kitchen bench. Yeah. Then walked through it in my bare feet.
Starting point is 00:20:05 I'm an idiot. Very stupid. Luckily it wasn't the dog. I would have never lived that down. You would never forgive yourself if your puppy, like, did that. BJ, oh, I love that guy. Bridget too, I guess. That's me, obviously.
Starting point is 00:20:19 This is things you can say in hospital and also in the bedroom. One of my better ideas, can I just say. Great idea from you. Yeah, I mean, we did have bangers and clangers earlier, but this one's pretty good. This one's ready to go. Who's going first? You go first.
Starting point is 00:20:35 Okay, Tony, you're about to feel a little prick. Oh! That's very funny. Thank you. That's very funny. One for the ladies. When was your last period? They always ask you that when you have an X-ray.
Starting point is 00:21:01 But would they ask you that in the bedroom? No, but that's like, imagine saying to someone, like, when was your last period? Like, we're about to bone. Are you ovulating? Are we? Yeah. Ooh, I'll have to sterilise this first. Are you going to stick that in?
Starting point is 00:21:18 Righto, turn around. Are you on the pill? Did they ask that? I guess they always have to check medication and stuff, don't they? You really fucking mind? You know, you're right. I am. I'm getting too technical.
Starting point is 00:21:30 You fucking mind? Well, that's not what I meant. When is the right time in the bedroom to ask if they're on the pill? Beforehand, I think. Oh. No, because how presumptuous, isn't it? Let me change the question. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:50 Are you on birth control? No, but more like not when should you, but, like, in reality, when do you think that happens? Is it, like, five seconds before, like, it's about, and you go, oh, by the way, am I allowed to? Oh, fuck me. What? Oh, no, that's not one. no, that's not what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:22:06 At what point do you have, because it's always a bit awkward when you're like, oh, are we? I mean, if it's a one-night stand, you should always use a condom because it will protect you from STIs, et cetera, not just pregnancy. Yep. I feel like when you're about to blast off. Why did you say that? Like a rocket ship.
Starting point is 00:22:29 That's not a good time to ask. Too late. I think so. Well, because did you know that the pre-cum is actually more potent in terms of semen? Really? Yep. Because there's no seminal fluid.
Starting point is 00:22:42 It's all sperm. Is it all legit? Yeah. I didn't know that. It might actually be the reverse. seminal fluid. It's all sperm. It's all legit? Yeah. I didn't know that. It might actually be the reverse. It might be. It's either. Have you researched this?
Starting point is 00:22:50 Have you done your research on Google? It's either that it's worse or it's better. It's one or the other. You know that in life they're always the two options. It's like one's always worse and one's always better. Maybe they're the same. Yeah. We've covered all the possible answers.
Starting point is 00:23:15 But it's definitely better or maybe worse. Things you can say in the hospital and also in the bedroom. Ooh, nurse outfit. Nice. That one turned me on a little bit. Did it? Yeah. I wouldn't do that, though, because I'm not confident enough.
Starting point is 00:23:30 To? Like walk in and be like. Sexy nurse? Yeah, nah. It's the same with like real sexy, like lingerie or something. I would never walk in and be that, like. It's weird because I'm obviously quite a confident person, but I don't think I could ever do that.
Starting point is 00:23:49 I'm similar. If I'm wearing a suit, I don't feel fancy. I feel like I'm playing a character who wears a suit. I like, I don't feel like I'm me. Oh my God. I completely agree. Like when you're really dressed up, you feel like a dickhead. Like I'm parodying a businessman.
Starting point is 00:24:03 Yeah. Because you're like, this is not me. I'm a t-shirt person. Yeah. I'm a t-shirt guy. Yeah. Like I'm parodying a businessman. Yeah, because you're like, this is not me. I'm a T-shirt person. Yeah, I'm a T-shirt guy. Yeah. Like I don't want to wear sexy lingerie. I want to put on the nightie that I've worn for four nights and it's like covered in gravy and other food.
Starting point is 00:24:14 Like baby gravy. Hey. I didn't know what I was winking at until I thought about it and I'd already winked. Hey, Tony. Hey, Ryan. If you just want to wear a four-day-old nightie with gravy
Starting point is 00:24:30 on it, if that's who you are, just know that I love you for who you are as a person. You don't need to pretend to be anyone else to be the best Tony Lodge you can be. That's really sweet. Should we get back to trying to fuck each other in a hospital? Good call. Cool. Is there any chance you're pregnant? Things you can say in the hospital and also in the bedroom.
Starting point is 00:24:58 Tony, do you mind if I just go and get a friend and get him to have a look to get a second opinion? You're right. She is hot. I really like that. That's very funny. Thank you. I was just thinking about a situation.
Starting point is 00:25:22 Oh, my God. Did you hear that? I did. Oh, my God. Something terrible has happened. I don't know about a situation. Oh, my God. Did you hear that? I did. Oh, my God. Something terrible's happened. I don't know what it was. I just, can you imagine how confronting that situation, and I'm not talking about the bedroom, I'm talking about in a hospital.
Starting point is 00:25:34 Say you're, like, killed over, you've got your arsehole open or something, and then they say, oh, let me go grab another doctor, or this is actually a teaching hospital, we're going to have 10 people viewing today, and they're, you know, young, beautiful, smart people. Can I tell an interesting story? Please. It's probably a bit dark.
Starting point is 00:25:51 Oh. But when I wasn't feeling very well, I. On Thursday? No, like a few years ago. Oh, yeah. Having a bit of a rough time and I went to see like professional help and spoke to a doctor about what I was going through. I was really struggling to sleep.
Starting point is 00:26:08 Yeah. Wasn't having a good time. Never be ashamed of that, mate. That's really powerful. I'm glad that you sought help. So I went and sought help and I sought help. They were great. And then I was chatting to, I actually got along really well with the doctor.
Starting point is 00:26:20 Oh, there's nothing better, right? Yeah. When you just really trust him, you think, oh, I feel like I could look at your penis and you'd be fine. You could look at my penis. Yeah. Don't look at a doctor's penis. Both of our dicks are out. We are really comfortable with each other.
Starting point is 00:26:30 He said, Ryan, no pressure because obviously this is a really big ask. Yeah. But I'm also a lecturer for people doing their Masters in Psychology at Melbourne University. Oh, wow. And they have to do like practical hours with real patients as a part of their exam. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:47 Can they come in and ask you some questions and I observe it and that will be their exam for this certain subject. Wow. Yeah. So you're unpacking your whole life's suitcase. For an exam. For these students. And that one by one.
Starting point is 00:27:02 So I reckon there was two or three and they would come in and ask questions and even the doctor would be like, oh, do you think it might be important to ask Ryan about this? And they're like, oh, yeah, of course. So and, you know, like it was sort of part of. How did you feel about that? Well. Because you're obviously quite a confident person.
Starting point is 00:27:19 Well, not in that moment though, obviously, yeah. Well, that's what I was going to say. Yeah, like you're obviously happy to share your life with me and everybody listening, but that's a really personal time. You know what's really strange? And who would have guessed that this segment would have got so deep? Yes. Oh.
Starting point is 00:27:34 At the time, I was feeling, how would you describe it, pretty useless, which, I mean, that's kind of a pretty good description of when you end up in a bad way. And I just felt like if I could do this, that would be useful to someone. That's actually probably a really healthy way of looking at it. You're like, you know what? I can help these people because how hard would it be? I just want to contribute something to the world.
Starting point is 00:27:57 Because there wouldn't be a lot of people that would be willing to share that. They did say that. And I was like, mate, happy to help send them in. Send them in. That was another one. Send them in. I would another one. Send them in. I would share that to the team there at Melbourne Uni. Hope they graduated.
Starting point is 00:28:08 Oh, yeah. I mean, one of them didn't and we all knew in the room which one that was. Oh, you. Yes. Because you went to Melbourne Uni. Everyone passed the exam. Ryan, terrible patient. You're out of the program.
Starting point is 00:28:19 I never signed up. They're like, you're actually now a psychologist. Oh, this is how you do it. Great. All right. Here's things you say.. Oh, this is how you do it. Great. All right. Here's things you say. I'm just trying to segue back into it.
Starting point is 00:28:33 Things you can say in the hospital and also in the bedroom. Hey, Tony, can I just put this in to check your temperature? The penis. No, it's a thermometer. Thermometer. What is it called? Thermometer. That's what I said, thermometer. You's a thermometer. Thermometer. What is it called? Thermometer. That's what I said, thermometer.
Starting point is 00:28:47 You're saying thermometer. You're saying the same word back to me. Say it. Thermometer. Th-er-mom-meter. Yeah, cool, we're on the same page. You go. What do you need to do?
Starting point is 00:29:00 What do you check my temperature? How are you going to do that? With a thermometer. Thermometer. I would just like to let you know, ma'am, this will be invasive. Is this a free service or will there be an out-of-pocket expense? Don't worry, I've actually got health insurance. Oh, great. Don't worry, this great joke from last week will be used this week again.
Starting point is 00:29:28 Well, it works. It did. Thank you. I'm a big believer in the healthcare system. Medibank Private, if you're listening, love your services. Thank you very much. Hope you enjoy my $200 a week. It's very expensive.
Starting point is 00:29:40 Can you just open your mouth and say, ah? Can you just open your mouth and say, ah? Sorry. Was that too much? That was a lot. Sorry, I just. Yeah, I know. It felt really natural coming.
Starting point is 00:29:56 Like you looked like you. Was that too graphic? Should I cut that out? Can I ask a favour? Yeah. I reckon that was really funny. But, like, don't look at me in the eye when you make that sound. Is that a fair ask?
Starting point is 00:30:13 Yeah, that actually is. You can look anywhere in this room. Just for the sound. Just not in my eyes. So do you want me to try it again? Sure. Look away! Why are you looking at me?
Starting point is 00:30:27 Stop looking at me. We just had this Sure. Look away. Why are you looking at me? Stop looking. We just had this chat. Go on, you go. Open your mouth. No, I can't look over there. Why not? Because it's weird. Okay, I'm going to put this cup of tea on the bench.
Starting point is 00:30:37 Yeah. You just look at the tea. Open your mouth and say, oh, that felt really unnatural. It's because it's an Earl Grey. Yeah, it would have, darjeeling, would have set me right off. Some people prefer to take some pain medication before this procedure. Would you like that? Procedure?
Starting point is 00:31:01 Would you like that? Imagine telling a girl to have some Panadol beforehand. Doll, you're going to want to have some ibuprofen. It's best to be ahead of the pain once you're playing catch up. Don't worry, we will put a bit of lube on that. Yeah, cough twice. Yeah. I'm just going to check your prostate. That one's not even written down.
Starting point is 00:31:40 Excuse me, when was the last time you had your prostate checked? It's right now. Just in the case of an emergency, who is your emergency contact? It's my wife. Better than your mum, I guess. If something goes wrong, who should I call? Yeah, Mandy Dunn. D-U-N-N. Tony, don't be concerned.
Starting point is 00:32:09 Having a prolapsed rectum is actually not as uncommon as you may think. Oh, luckily you took the hyperprofen before. Are you going to mention the meows in your Things You Love To See? Oh, I actually love to see that the amount of people in our Facebook group, which you can join, Tony and Ryan podcast on Facebook, the links are in our Instagrams and TikToks, that a lot of people said that they meow with songs also. So last week you said, every time I sing along,
Starting point is 00:32:41 I change every single word out for a meow. Yep. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Everybody now. Meow. Oh, it's a bit where there's nothing happening. Everybody meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Starting point is 00:32:55 That's very funny. Oh, that wasn't going to be my you'll have to see it, but it works. Lazy. Guess we'll hear one from today tomorrow. Oh, mate, no. I'll use yours. I'm low. My You Love to See It was actually the media conference, Meowdeer
Starting point is 00:33:11 conference that we had just before for you to say that you love Kath and Kim now. Okay. I love to see that. Thank you to all the people of the press gallery for coming through. Something I love to see is... Yeah, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me. One of my favourite, I wouldn't even call it a show. It's a channel, like a TV station.
Starting point is 00:33:28 And I don't know what it's called. You call it something different in every country, but I reckon everyone will know what it is. It's basically the channel that just does house flippers, house hunters international. Nine Life. Nine Life. It's Nine Life in Australia.
Starting point is 00:33:41 Yeah. But it's always. It's like the lifestyle channel. Chip and Joanna. Yeah. Flipping houses in Waco, Texas. Is there a house in Waco? Waco is tiny. Is there a house in Waco that Chip and Joanna ain't flipped?
Starting point is 00:33:53 Oh, that's very funny. No, like actually, though. There's like 40 houses in the town and they've done 15 seasons. Like, how are there still more houses? So, apparently there was an Australian house hunters, right? Yeah. And basically the show is they say, oh, we're a family and we're looking for this kind of And we're moving to a new country and. And they go, cool, here's three options and they decide which one.
Starting point is 00:34:14 I was literally about to say, you know that show House Hunters? So it's, I love this show. Yeah. So Katrina Roundtree is an Australian TV host who I didn't know was also hosting House Hunters. Is that Dr. Katrina from Uncle Harry? No, you're House Hunters. Is that Dr. Katrina from Uncle Harry? No, you're thinking of Dr. Katrina. This is Katrina Roundtree. Okay, sorry. This is a tweet
Starting point is 00:34:31 from Triana, who I love, by the way. Dr. Katrina. Triana said about Katrina. Katrina Roundtree is terrible on Escape to the Country House Hunters. This family said their budget was $800,000 and she's like, no worries. Here's one that's $950,000, here's one that's $1.25,000
Starting point is 00:34:49 and here's another one that's $980,000. And then she has the gall to be really disappointed when they didn't choose any of the three houses because they were all too expensive. Oh, that's rude. That is so rude. It's so rude, but I love to see her getting called out because I was watching going,
Starting point is 00:35:03 why is she showing them these houses that they clearly can't afford? Oh, and she could have chipped in. She's worth a few bucks. She's doing all right. Yeah. And then I went on, because often I'll go on Twitter and go, is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking? So I searched for it and the first tweet that came up
Starting point is 00:35:15 and I was like, you love to see that? You are so lame. Someone else agrees with me. Who searches on Twitter when they're watching TV? What are you, early MTV? I do it all the time. Hashtag Jersey Shore, like, Jersey Day. Like early MTV? I do it all the time. Hashtag Jersey Shore, like, Jersey Day. Like, what?
Starting point is 00:35:28 I do it all the time. Obviously, Tony doesn't. I don't love to see that. Apparently not. Chat to you tomorrow on the show. We will be hearing Tony in a different light to she's ever been heard before. That's tomorrow on the pod.
Starting point is 00:35:42 See you guys later.

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