Toni and Ryan - Sharing Lotto Winnings
Episode Date: December 13, 2023One of the most HOTLY DEBATED TOPICS EVER ON EARTH - to share lotto winnings? Or nah?! Love ya xCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #Toni...AndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the podcast. My name is Ryan. This is best-selling Dr. Author Tony Lodge.
And we're about to call Emily.
Hi, Emily.
And she's from a state that I don't think we expected to have as many tarpers as we did
because they traveled to Dallas for the meet and greet. Do you know which state I'm talking about?
You know that my geography is not great.
We had lots of people that made the drive from Oklahoma.
Oh, yeah yeah we did
Yeah a lot
And it's quite a big drive
Isn't it
Yeah
Well it depends
If we're in Oklahoma
But
I'm just making
Fucking small talk
I don't know
Let's call Emily
Who's in Tulsa
Tulsa
Hello
Emily
It's Tony and Ryan
How you doing Oh my god Oh my god I and Ryan. How are you doing?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I'm doing great.
How are you?
We're good.
We're sorry we're running a tiny little bit low.
We're just very busy trying to figure out.
No, you're totally fine.
We're very busy trying to figure out where Oklahoma is on the map.
Yeah.
I still don't really know where it is, but I did go to Dallas.
It's above Texas.
Yeah.
You did.
I saw you in Dallas. Yeah. You did. I saw you in Dallas.
I remember.
We're like, yes, I was super awkward.
It was great.
Well, I don't really know how we're going to go here, but will you approve this podcast?
I would be happy to.
Yay!
Hey, it's Emily from Oklahoma, and I approve this podcast.
All right, coming up today, did you say it was a moral dilemma?
Moral dilemma.
I think it's something... About gifting.
About gifting, yes yes and it is the
tis the season as they say i think it's something a situation where people would love to be in
but as soon as you got into it you'd wish it had never happened couldn't have said it better
myself do you think that's fair yeah absolutely. But first, normal or nah, people send these through to the Tony and Ryan Facebook group,
which is about 80,000, 90,000 people.
Yeah.
It's ticking along.
I am going to do a live stream in the Facebook group and it's a workshop.
What's it for?
You'll have to come and join us to find out.
Can I be in it?
I love live streaming. Yeah, but it's like a workshop. So, you're there to find out Can I be in it? I love live streaming
Yeah, but it's like a workshop
So you're there to work
Can I be presenting?
What is it?
Well, it's a
I don't want to say a brainstorm
But it's definitely a brainstorm
Brainstorm for what?
Well, you'll have to come and find out
When are we doing it?
I'm not sure
Maybe later today
Okay
But it's like I need your help
You'd be good in this.
That's why I'm saying I'd like to come to the workshop.
Sean asked, normal or nah?
Hi, Sean.
When you realise you've walked the wrong direction on a busy street,
you have to pretend to take a phone call or receive a text
and kind of stand there and, you know,
put a bit of a thinking face on for a minute or so
and only then can you walk back the way that you need to go.
You can't just do a 180 straight up like a psychopath.
Am I normal in thinking this is right?
Yes, normal.
Very normal.
1,000%.
Yeah.
Sometimes what I do is I get my phone out and I kind of, oh,
as if I've looked at the map and gone, I've missed it or something.
Like you've got to do something to like.
You can't just turn around.
Oh, no, I will go into this shop.
I've gone into a shop before.
Yep.
Gone, oh, I don't need to go to Bets and Bets.
Gone into Bets and Bets. Do you have this in size 12?
So that I can walk back out and go the other direction.
It's not good.
I like the shot.
So there's a long, long stretch of path near our house
and Bridget goes, oh, I want to go for like an hour's walk
with Mabel in the pram.
And I go, well, this thing goes for a million kilometres.
So I'm like, just go 30 minutes and turn around.
You can't.
You can't. You can't.
You're like, I think legally you can't.
She goes, so what do I do?
Just turn around.
And I go, yeah.
And she goes, well, I can't do that.
No.
She'll end up in Broome.
She'll walk all the way.
I refuse to turn.
So I think she like went somewhere, turned off the track,
like walked up a side street, down a little bit and then back
because she's like, I can't just do a 180.
Yeah.
I'm not a psychopath. I totally agree little bit and then back because I can't just do a 180. Yeah. I'm not a psychopath.
I totally agree.
You can't.
You actually can't.
I fucking hate with all of my being that I agree.
Yeah.
Because my area is usually like.
Don't be silly.
Don't be silly.
Just turn around.
Just fucking turn around.
But I actually get it.
It's the same as like, yeah, when you go for a walk like on a track,
if you're on the street like and you're in your active wear and you go,
oh, I know that like if I don't turn now, now i'm gonna end up like an hour away from home or whatever
and you got you got to swing around yep totally normal chloe asks have i been watching too much
true crime normal or nah chloe says whenever i'm driving i think about places i could hide a body
so i'm driving along going oh i could hide a body. So I'm driving along going, oh, I could put a body over there.
Oh, yeah, I could probably dig behind that train, put something there.
And that's just how she drives along.
Does anyone do this or am I just fucked?
I'm going to say nah because who would hide a body right off the road?
Yeah.
You've got to go way into the depths of the wilderness.
Yeah.
That track where Bridget's going.
Perfect.
Perfect.
Get in there.
Get in there.
You can't just hide a body right off the road.
That's how you get caught.
Yeah.
Yeah, and I've always said that.
Do you remember, I won't say his last name,
but remember that guy who used to work with Billy who made cars disappear?
Oh, yeah.
Have I talked about that?
At the hotel, yeah.
So I was going to sell my car and he goes,
how much did you insure it for? And I go, a bit more than i could get on the street he goes yeah i can make
that car disappear and that guy is the king of when you say deep in the wilderness i think he's
got a spot because you can't just park the car on the side of the road and then claim it was stolen
i bet you know what i don't want to hear anymore actually i can, I can't. I would like to not know.
Keep me not incriminated in that.
Billy who?
Billy McFarlane from Fyre Festival?
He's the only Billy I know.
So when you said that, I thought Seth McFarlane.
I was like, was he the Fyre Festival guy?
How much is your Audi insured for?
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
Have you told the Audi people that you've got a new house?
I have, yeah
Okay
Of course
Yeah
Like, of course I have
Like, of course I have
Of course you have
You know what I mean?
Like, of course I haven't not told them that I've moved
And my premium's probably way more expensive now Oh yeah, because you're not like, of course I haven't not told them that I've moved and my premium is probably way more expensive now.
Oh, yeah, because you're not, like, underground of an apartment.
Yeah, but I was like, well, I'm obviously not going to not say, you know.
Okay, I'll let Billy know.
You get the fuck away from my car.
Well, you get the payout, not me.
I don't want a payout.
I just want to drive my car.
You know how long it would take to get any car replaced right now?
Because you know how there's still, like.
Oh, yeah, it's a back lot.
Yeah, the money wouldn't even be worth it.
Cam let Billy know, don't worry about it.
Also, if anyone knows Billy, tell him to reach out
because I haven't seen him in ages.
He's actually a really nice guy.
If anyone knows Billy, then we know exactly who we're dealing with.
Hang on, I'm going to Google his name.
I'm not going to say his full name, but let me just...
Oh, God. Make sure you Google on the. No. I'm not going to say his full name, but let me just. Oh, God.
Make sure you Google on the dark web.
I don't think anything will come up in street Google, street legal Google.
I think I found him on LinkedIn.
Poor form, Billy.
Yeah.
Steal cars.
Sell stolen cars.
Like, that's his fucking...
At least you know that you could...
What's the...
Endorse him.
You'd be like, yeah, great at selling a stolen car.
Great at making my car disappear.
Oh, my...
You know that people get a notification when you look at them on LinkedIn?
It says, like, blah, looked at your profile.
Okay, what were you doing?
Fuck, are we on a podcast?
Shit.
Yeah, that was all you.
Yeah, that was my fault.
Aaron Vaughan asked, normal or not?
Hi, Aaron.
Trimming your big toenail, then using it as a toothpick.
It just seems to be the only way to get a truly good clean pick
Is this normal for anyone else or am I just a weirdo?
Was that not anonymous?
Someone put their name to that
Aaron Vaughn
Use those little floss picks
Like the you know those little like
They shape like a Y and they've got like a bit of floss on them
And like a sharp bit
Use a toothpick
Brush your teeth
Cut your teeth out of your face and throw them away
Any other option
We need to get Billy to take care of that guy
That's right off
Finally Annie says When I'm brushing my teeth and I need to get Pilly to take care of that guy. That's right off. Finally, Annie says, when I'm brushing my teeth and I need to wee,
I'll just sit and wee and keep brushing my teeth.
My dad thinks I'm a grot and says nah, but I say normal.
I only, this gets a bit fucking graphic, sorry.
I only use one hand to wipe, so I wash that hand after
and the other hand continues to brush my pearly whites.
Can tarpers back me up on this um nah for me but i think people would do that personally i brush my teeth in the shower
um so i don't go to the toilet at the same time um but if i was ever
i'm not gonna lie and say that i don't wee in the shower because like i'm an adult but have you peed
in the shower whilst brushing your teeth no because if i wee in the shower it's when i like first get
in like you get in and you kind of like wee and then you do your shower bits and bobs yeah like
you don't wee in the shower while you're washing your hair.
No.
You know what I mean?
It's like not how-
Heaven forbid you'd multitask.
But you don't.
You're already multitasking.
Well, you've got to do three things.
That's what multi means.
No, no, no.
But, like, if you're weeing in the shower, you're already multitasking.
I don't need to do another thing.
Yeah.
I'm already saving time.
I don't need to be hypervigilant about how productive I am.
I don't do that and I probably wouldn't do that.
What if you needed to spit?
Would you just open your legs and go straight through?
Like, that's disgusting.
It's a shame that no one else got to see you do that
because being a podcast and all, but that was fucking great work.
Do you remember the other day we were on a flight
and that annoying as fuck lady was on her phone?
This bitch.
Actually, we can talk about her separate,
but I remember basically the second that she was talking on her phone
right up until we took off and the second we left,
she was back on her phone.
And she was still on the phone.
And Tony says to me after, no one's that busy.
I did say that.
Yeah.
I think that also applies to this.
Yeah, that's a great point.
Who the fuck is Annie?
Heaven forbid she could spend a separate minute brushing her teeth
and a separate minute paying.
How much time don't you have?
That's a great point.
I don't think.
No one, to quote the great dick whisperer Tony Lodge, is that busy.
I agree, and I've always said that.
Always said that.
Hey, it's Emily from Oklahoma, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
Kyron Bainbridge.
Good on you, Kyron.
Thank you.
Thanks, Kyron.
Shelly Perron, which could be Shelly Craft and Tony Perron's love child.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, because they were both on Australia's funniest home videos.
Yeah.
Did they one take over the other?
Yeah, Shelley Craft took over Tony Perron.
Are you sure it wasn't the other way around?
Yes.
Yes.
Same, yeah.
Tony Perron did it back in the day.
Tony Perron is forever 29 years old in my mind.
Yeah.
Well, she was probably 24 when she was doing.
Wasn't she Australia's sweetheart?
Oh, she was great.
Great.
Tony took over from Kim Kilby.
Oh.
Where's Kim Kilby now?
Good question.
Yeah.
Unfortunately, she's with Billy.
Yeah.
Billy and Kim.
Yeah, good on you, Shelley.
Thank you. Let us know how your mums are going.
Kelsey Roush.
Yep.
Sorry. I'll get to that name next.
Can someone laugh about my mum's gag?
Like, obviously, like, Shelley and Tony.
Yeah, okay.
Could you imagine, is there a better combo of mums, besides our own, obviously,
is there a better combo of mums than Shelley?
Thanks for bringing my mum up.
So close to Christmas.
Yep.
Okay, now you go.
Get on to the rash girl.
Kelsey Roush.
Oh, sorry.
Amanda Marston and Lee Sanford.
Go back to the, what were you saying about mums?
Is there a better combo of like great?
Shelley and Tones.
Yeah.
Absolutely not.
Thank you.
Imagine the tales I would tell you from being on the Funniest Home Videos
and then Shelly did the great outdoors, you know.
And now she like kind of does the block but doesn't?
She is.
She's got the best job in TV.
Gravy train.
And, you know, the other thing that she does is like whenever the MS Home Lottery
or the RMH Home Lottery is on, she's always like does the ads for that.
I'm like, well, there's your salary for the year, sweetheart.
So she's the host of The Block.
Now, granted, The Block's like a renovation show.
I only watch the Sunday episodes.
I don't watch the midweek stuff.
What does that mean?
So the Sundays when they're like-
Is that the room reveal?
Reveal the room and who wins the week.
And during the week, it's like the building and the staff and whatever.
I don't care about them going to a cafe.
No, neither do I.
I don't want to watch them crying in the car. So I just watch the room reveals. Yeah, no. Because I don't care about them going to a cafe. No, neither do I. I don't want to watch them crying in the car.
So I just watch the room reveals.
Yeah, no.
Because I don't like the drama.
I like the houses.
Sunday at 7 o'clock.
Hang on, question.
Yeah.
How is Shelley Craft the host of that?
Because isn't that Scotty Cam?
So very Australian chap.
No, no.
This is what I'm getting at.
Okay.
So they're like, in inverted commas, co-hosts.
And I don't know what she does during the week,
but I only watch the Sunday episodes.
That's where I would be.
But I never fucking see her.
Oh, you don't see her on the Sunday.
No, and because I only watch the Sunday,
that means I never see her.
And then at the end of the season.
Are you sure she's still in it?
Maybe.
No, but this is the thing.
She rolls out in the finale and they go,
thanks for a great year, everyone.
Thanks, Scotty Cam.
Thanks, Shelley.
It's been such hard work.
And she goes, oh, thank you.
And I go, you haven't done anything.
You haven't even been on this show.
And she probably gets paid a fuck ton.
And good for her.
Yeah.
I wish that that was.
She's on the gravy train just like in the stream.
Imagine hosting a show that you don't have to host.
And you know what as well about being on the block?
Think of the discounts.
Oh, you wouldn't pay full price at Bunnings for the rest of your life?
You're never buying a throw for full price at Adair's, that's for sure.
And linen is expensive.
Oh, mate.
Yeah.
Honestly, I might apply for a job on the block just to get the discounts.
We know.
I do.
Jane?
Yeah.
Yeah, she works at the block. Has she paid full price for linen this year? I don We know. I do. Jane. Yeah. Yeah, she works at the block.
Has she paid full price for linen this year?
I don't know.
I might have to ask her.
Jane actually never pays full price for anything.
She's a real bargain hunter.
Same as Bridge.
Yeah, she wears, like, a lot of, like, branded clothes
but never, like, pays full.
And I'm like, oh, my God, like, your wardrobe.
She's like, yep, but I never.
She's like, I always wait for a sale or I always find a code or whatever.
But anyway, I reckon.
Use the code Shellycraft.
Shellycraft at Adair's.
Adair's, I think, is a place that if I, like,
could have stuff for free for life or, like, a 50% lifetime discount
or something like that, I think I would actually pick Adairs.
So Adairs is towels, pillowcases.
Beautiful linen.
Linen.
Pillows, throws, as we mentioned, throw pillows.
They've got little chairs and tables sometimes.
Sheets.
Honestly.
I'm not disagreeing with Adairs dares but let's take a moment right now
yeah and just think if we could have a 50 discount for life at anywhere and like let's not be
about this should i pick like coals because like food is really expensive right now petrol
so that's like a boring answer it is a boring one um okay it has to be fun it has to be fun all right well now um what if you picked like
costco because then you can buy everything it's already half price everyone gets half price for
it already exists i'm picking adele's i'm actually like rewind i'm obviously picking adele's
this is controversial yeah And very specific in niche. Mm-hmm.
I think I'm going homey.
You know that brand, Homey?
Oh, the robes.
They do robes.
Interesting cross-up.
We've kind of both gone for the same area.
They do robes.
They do, like, fluffy slippers.
That is a good point. They do, like, an outdoor rug.
Their stuff is stunning.
Yeah.
I've looked at their bathrobes.
Because wouldn't you just like and then just be that guy
who's just living laughing robes?
And do you know what?
Like you invite people over and you go, take your clothes off,
pop a robe on, dog.
I've said half of that many times.
Settle right in.
Yeah.
But like you come over.
Say I pop my Birkenstocks off at your front door,
pop some homey fluffy slippers on.
Have we both gone for the same area, though?
Like, are we wasting our lifetime 50?
I think in the Venn diagram there is a little bit in the middle.
Okay.
But I still think there's areas.
It's enough?
Because homey's not going to, like, cover your pillows and mattresses
with linen.
And also Adair's isn't full robe lush outdoorsy.
No, that's true.
Let us know in the episode thread today.
If you had a lifetime 50% off discount, what would it be?
We've got fucking shit to talk about.
Basically, we need to talk about buying someone else a lotto ticket.
Yeah.
The other day when we drew our secret Santa,
we talked about our $69 limit and I said,
imagine though if you'd only spent $65
and you needed to make up the last, you know, $5 or whatever.
Stocking filler.
Just, yeah, go and grab a scratchy or five $1 scratchies or something.
And you and I actually had a small conversation about like,
oh, if you win, if you won money, you have to give me half.
You said I'll give you 10%.
And we had a bit of a conversation about it.
I saw this story and the headline is newlyweds gifted their guests
scratch-offs and one bridesmaid won $6,500.
Holy shit.
And the bridesmaid is refusing to share the money.
So this was an am I the asshole on Reddit and it went va-va-va viral
and it kind of doesn't go the way that you think.
I know you probably don't have the answer to this,
but for me this piece of information is vital.
Yep.
Did the bridesmaid have to pay for her own dress at the wedding?
I don't, but listen to the thing. Yep. Did the bridesmaid have to pay for her own dress at the wedding? I don't, but listen to the thing.
Please.
Because I'm about to say two words that make a bride and groom very happy,
but make guests very unhappy.
Anal sex?
Destination wedding.
Go fuck yourself.
I'm keeping the money.
You know what I mean?
Go and fuck yourself right off.
Destination wedding.
I paid $65,000 to fly to this fucking tropical island.
My husband's wearing khaki pants that he fucking hates.
Yeah.
You made us all wear white linen.
Yeah, and you think I'm giving you money?
Yeah.
Go fuck yourself.
I don't actually care if the bridesmaid paid for the own dress.
You flew me to fucking Thailand.
Fuck off.
And that's coming from a guy who's literally a poster child for Thai weddings,
as you've seen me and Umi on the posters.
Oh, yeah, you're on the poster for the Thai wedding.
Yeah, if you want to marry a young Thai girl, go on.
You can find Ryan on the brochure.
The thing about a destination wedding, like I was saying,
great for a bride and groom because you go,
not that many people are going to come.
Great way to cull a guest list, I feel.
But for people that you actually want to be there, probably can't afford it.
And that really sucks.
Anyway.
Imagine if the people you really wanted there couldn't afford it, but the people you fucking
hate can.
But that's what I mean.
Like, it's a bit of a gamble.
Then it's like, that sounds like a reality show.
Like, stuck on an island with an annoying auntie.
Yeah, I think that's the White Lotus, isn't it?
I think that's the clarity, isn't it?
I thought I had a great idea and Matt Wyatt's beaten me to it.
So we all sat down to eat.
This is the story from Reddit.
We all sat down to eat and while we were waiting,
one of our friends, let's call her Sarah,
starts jumping up and down shouting that she'd won 5,000 pounds,
which is about six and a half grand, on the scratch card
that the bridal party had gifted in like a little pouch goodie bag.
Yep.
You know how they do that?
Like, thanks for coming or thanks for being part of our special day
and the bridal party will get a little gift.
Thanks for flying to a destination's wedding.
Have a scratchy.
Yep.
Go fuck yourself.
Right.
The whole room erupted in applause.
The bride and groom run over to congratulate them.
It was a really happy day and it just made it even better
because people were like, oh, it's been a great day.
We're loving celebrating whatever.
Notice this is not coming from the perspective of the person that won the money.
The next day we all sat down for breakfast in the villa and we were chatting about Sarah
and her partner's win.
They were saying what they were planning to do with the winnings and everyone was asking
questions and I casually asked how much they were going to give
to the bride and groom.
Fucking wait a second.
See, it doesn't go the way that you think.
Why even ask that?
That's on them.
What?
They can also go fuck themselves.
And they say there was no agenda behind my question.
I didn't ask because I was trying to hint that they should do this.
Yes, you fucking were.
Yes, you are.
Yes, you are.
Because then when the bride says to you, like, they didn't give me any money,
you can be like, well, I asked them.
I would have if it was me.
It just never occurred to me as a possibility that they wouldn't give some
of it as a belated wedding gift to the bride and groom,
given that they wouldn't have the ticket without them.
Yeah, but that's just like luck that's just how life works um the bride and groom both um went really quiet
they were really awkward the people that won the money went quiet she walked out and then when they
saw them later started crying so hang on she asked the question she just lobs this little grenade in
and then goes anyway thanks for brunch see you later yeah literally and then so the girl who won
the money sarah she runs out her boyfriend follows the girl who won the money, Sarah, she runs out.
Her boyfriend follows her.
They've won the money.
Don't know what they're crying about.
But then she's crying and then her boyfriend, like,
has a go at the poster from Reddit who is like,
oh, I can't believe you'd be so nasty.
You've made us feel really cheap and you've, like, made,
like, you fucked the weekend.
Yeah, you put this guilt trip on us.
And so then the person who's posting says, am I the arsehole?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes, you are.
In what world would that not be, like, even if you're thinking it,
it's a nasty thing because, like, it is a bit awkward,
but, like, you have no.
That's their money.
There's just no.
If I gifted somebody a scratchy,
I wouldn't be like, they should give me some of the money,
but I'd be like, fuck, wish I kept that for myself,
is what I would be thinking.
That's what everyone would be thinking.
Who couldn't do with an extra six grand?
Like, are you joking?
We're talking about lifetime discounts.
We need the money.
We need the money.
But if you want it tony lodge tony
lodge please it you gifted it to me yep yep would you because i know this is like from the the the
people pleasing guide is like you wouldn't expect any of it back if you won sorry if you won if i
won you wouldn't expect any back but if you won you'd go oh i don't want to do the wrong thing
and i want to do the wrong thing.
Do you know what I would probably do? You'd probably give me double.
You'd give me $12,000.
Help, seven.
I'm going to have to see if I can get cash out of my credit card, though.
I'll redraw back from my mortgage.
Yeah.
So what would you?
I think I would be like, let's go out for dinner.
Yes, love that.
Like, I don't think I would ever., let's go out for dinner. Yes, love that. Like I don't think I would ever because giving people cash is weird
and like it feels like then like a.
Very transactional.
Yeah, whereas like if I said to you like, oh, my God,
I wouldn't have this ticket without you.
Let's go out for a nice dinner.
We'll grab a bottle of champers or, you know, something like that.
And, you know, that dinner's probably going to cost you like...
A couple hundred bucks.
Say you go all out.
Maybe $500 if you get a nice bottle.
Jesus Christ.
If you get a nice bottle and you go somewhere nice, you know,
$500 like at the most,
then you've still got six fucking five and a half grand
to spend on yourself.
But then it's like there's no bad juge because it's all done.
So when I won big in the casino in Macau.
Oh, yeah, when you bought the lobster seafood dinner.
Well, I didn't know I did that until the next day.
Until after.
But that same night I, like, shouted my friends in the bar drinks
because that was my way of, like, instead of, does that feel about right?
Yeah, it sounds lovely, yeah.
When you won big in Vegas, we got nothing, Cam and I, producer Cam and I.
Well, I didn't win big in Vegas.
Oh.
Like, I won okay.
Oh.
But when you were-
Well, I didn't get an okay drink out of it.
Well, first of all, you did because you were sucking on that-
Oh, that big slushie.
Yeah.
Did you buy that?
Yeah.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But when you were discussing divvying up the winnings,
it reminded me of, you know how, and Cam,
you might need to fill in some blanks here.
I'm pretty sure- Of all the people I could fill in a blank,
I don't think it's producer Cam.
I'm pretty sure you befriended like a 65-year-old lady on the slots.
I did.
And you won $16 together and it was this big, like, how do we split it?
Yeah, Ruth and I.
So I had been putting money into a machine and I was like,
she was sitting next to me.
Yeah.
But I'd put so much money in and it was, like, getting closer.
According to who?
No, because, like, the way that it filled.
The firecrackers fill up.
The firecrackers fill up is the whole thing.
Anyway.
And so Ruth was sitting on the machine next to me.
Snake Ruth.
No.
See, this is the thing is that I was like, look, I was like,
how are you going?
And she went, oh, got nothing.
Oh, I got nothing, Daryl.
Like she was really like American.
She's wearing the bum bag and the visor and everything.
And I was like, look.
Says Tony who was wearing a tuxedo t-shirt at the time.
Let me tell you about what this bitch is wearing.
Fashion police are in doubt.
Anyway, and then I was like, look, I've sunk like,
because I'd won 60 bucks.
I sunk the 60 back into the same machine.
I was like, look, I've sunk 60 bucks into this bad boy.
Ruth, I'm closer than you are.
Why don't you jump on my machine?
And she goes, are you sure? And I was like, yeah, I don't really, like, I'm just having a bit of fun. Like. Why don't you jump on my machine? And she goes, are you sure?
And I was like, yeah, I don't really, like, I'm just having a bit of fun.
Like, I don't really mind.
And she was like, oh, amazing.
Because I started with $20, turned into $60, had nothing.
I was like, who cares?
Like, I'm out anyway.
And then the machine ended up paying out $120.
What?
And we were still standing there chatting or whatever.
And then she walks off and I was like, oh, fair enough, all good.
And then she walks back and she gave me the half of the money she won
so I won my $60 back.
So she wasn't Snake Ruth, actually.
She was Lovely Ruth.
And the craziest thing about all of this is that you just like straight
up clean broke even.
Yeah.
Like I just like literally then I went to bed and I had a burger,
which in Vegas costs $80. So I was actually, I did end up down. Like, I just, like, literally, then I went to bed and I had a burger, which in Vegas costs $80.
So, I was actually, I did end up down.
The house always wins, baby.
The house always wins.
Yeah, but I don't fuck you in the casino.
They fuck you on room service, that's for sure.
I don't know why, because I've never done this,
did a Twitter poll the other night.
Oh, okay.
And said, if you win money on a gift, like, what do you do?
Oh.
62% said, nah, keep it all.
30% of people said, maybe give them 10%.
And only 7% of people said, give half.
I think it depends on the amount.
I'm so emotional.
Are you okay?
I've just bloody had a ciggy while you were saying that apparently.
I think it depends on the amount.
If you gave me a lotto ticket and I won $40 million,
like am I going to sling you a meal?
I think so.
Really?
That much money.
I don't need that much money in my life.
Like that's more money than anybody makes in like eight lifetimes.
If it was one meal?
If it was a million, I think I'd do the nice dinner.
Because I think I'd go.
A very nice dinner.
Yeah, but I'd go like, let's do a really nice dinner.
We'll stay in fucking a hotel for the night or something.
Or a weekend away or something.
Okay, now.
That's what I think I would do.
Because a million.
For a million, wouldn't it go 10 grand?
The thing is, is that a million, whilst it is like life changing,
it's not life changing the way that like 40 million is
because a million for most people they'd go,
oh, should I put that straight onto my mortgage or like, you know,
like do we go, do we get a new car because we need to replace that
or whatever.
I think a million is like that would get a lot of people
to like a really great head start.
Yeah, absolutely.
But 40 million, you're talking like never working again.
Yeah.
Like it's a completely different ballgame,
especially because he lives.
A million is not going to get you as far as it did
in the fucking 90s.
Yeah, absolutely.
So, okay.
Do you think that's fair?
Yes, but here's the issue, right?
It depends on, say if it's like a work secret Santa.
Yep.
All right.
I don't know who anyone's got.
Yeah.
I guess what I'm getting at is what if you don't know
or maybe even like the person that much?
So maybe you're in a big office and it's like some girl
from another department that you don't even know,
she gets a meal and she goes, I'll take us out for dinner.
And you go, can you just give me the cash?
Could I have 10 grand?
She's like, how much do you reckon you'll spend on dinner?
Do you want to just give me that?
Yeah, that's fair.
I don't know you, sweetheart.
And the last thing I want to do.
Is spend a Saturday night having dinner.
Hearing you talk about your million bucks.
Rubbing it in my face.
We're all forgetting the key factor.
If you won Lottoto you wouldn't tell
anyone a hundred percent i've actually won lotto twice like i wouldn't tell anybody because i'd
worry about the pressure and the expectation that people were going like oh are you gonna give me
money or why didn't you give me money or cousins turning up with their hand yeah like all of a
sudden these family members that you don't talk to are interested in like what you do for work
and then you go well you don't care about what I'm doing for work.
You want my cash.
Yeah.
So I think that we're forgetting that key point that like you wouldn't tell anybody.
So are you saying the asshole is the bridesmaid who mentioned the winnings?
Yeah.
She should have kept that fucking quiet.
Kept her mouth shut.
Yeah.
Gone home with her six grand.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Speaking of going to the islands um tarpa ruby
has nominated herself for residence on dci oh great is this how you love to see it this is
my love to say oh wow that's a that's an interesting you love to see it okay um was it last week that
you were saying that titanic should be the it was this week yeah on um on monday monday the time we
everyone should watch tit Titanic with a love interest
because that's where you find out about someone.
Yeah.
If you're not sure about someone, watch Titanic together
and whatever they say, that's how you make the judgment.
Tap a Ruby's message through.
And this is my love to see it.
I pissed when I read this.
Yeah.
I'd like to nominate myself for residence on DCI
because today I learnt that Titanic is not just a movie.
It happens.
Ruby also says, I regret not making this comment anonymous.
Ruby. Ruby.
Ruby. Ruby.
Ruby. There. Ruby.
There's not, I actually contest the truth of this.
No way.
Oh, Ruby, you stupid girl.
That's ridiculous.
A beautiful idiot she is. A beautiful idiot who now lives on DCI.
Enjoy DCI.
I hear it's beautiful this time of year.
No one's eaten in a while.
None of you can figure it out.
That's okay.
How do we turn the oven on?
Is there someone here that knows?
No.
If you knew, you wouldn't be here.
Oh, my God.
Well, I'm glad that you went first because I've got to lift our spirits back up.
Please, please.
That is, oh, Ruby.
Oh, I want to laugh, but I also want to cry.
Yeah.
Someone sent this to me in an Instagram DM and said,
can you do reviews of a review? And I said, what I also want to cry. Yeah. Someone sent this to me in an Instagram DM and said, can you do reviews of a review?
And I said, what is it?
Yes.
And it is my love to see it.
This is the greatest Amazon review I have ever seen.
This person is reviewing a pair of athleisure tights.
Nice.
Five stars.
Order them now.
Can I just say that I will be reordering them in every colour?
They must look good. You're wrong. Can I just say that I will be reordering them in every colour? They must look good.
You're wrong.
They must look like a lotto.
Here is me rolling and sliding down a mountain because I was too scared to get up.
My leggings did not rip, not even a little bit, and I got stuck on rocks and trees.
And this person has added photos to their review of them sliding down a hill
because it was too steep to walk down. Because she was
a bit too scared to get up and walk down.
No rips, not even a one.
And you know what? Send us a link, girlfriend.
This is just a screenshot
so I can't actually give anyone a link. Well, she's doing a public service
to the, I mean, what a review.
Isn't that amazing?
And I just absolutely, I pissed myself
when I saw this.
It was so funny. So, so great.
Well done.
Well done.
Thanks for sending that through.
Tomorrow we are doing a video show.
Video show.
Some tarpers have said, I think we asked,
how far did you travel for food?
Yeah.
And what?
Tarpers are a psychopath, man.
I love it, though.
Love the enthusiasm.
Some wild shit in here.
Uh-huh.
So if you're this weekend,
I know you have a big Friday night
and you wake up and you're like,
fuck, I'm a bit dusty.
I'm just really craving this.
Would it be silly if we...
No, because you're going to hear these stories
and you go, it's not silly.
It's actually quite easy
when you hear this other stuff.
Except I do worry that listening to this makes people think that, like,
this is what they should slash could do.
You know what I mean?
No, it's a recommendation.
Yeah.
No, it is.
So that's coming up tomorrow.
We'll chat to you then.
Love you.
Bye.