Toni and Ryan - Size Does Matter

Episode Date: June 8, 2023

DOES SIZE MATTER? And how do you measure it anyway!?!?! Love ya xx [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join... our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the podcast. I'm Ryan, this is Tony, who, what were you just saying? Huh? That's what I thought. Let's call Beck, who is a teacher in Sydney. Hi, Beck. Hello. Hi, Beck. Who's this? It's Tony and Ryan. How you doing?
Starting point is 00:00:19 Oh my God, hi. Oh, you're doing a bit, Beck. I was going to be like, whoa, who's this? Sorry to interrupt your day. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I thought it was next week. I think I'm shocked it's Orion. Oh, actually it is.
Starting point is 00:00:34 I've stuffed it up. Oh, fuck you. That's sad. I just looked it up. I fucked that up. So, Beck, will you approve this podcast? I will definitely approve this podcast. Hi, it's Bec from Liverpool in Sydney, and I approve this podcast.
Starting point is 00:01:02 All right, coming up today, Tony, is this a sad breakup story? What's going on? There's some news you need to share with us. Is it the fridge that sent you guys over the line? Can you imagine if that was actually the case? Reason for breakup after a 10-year relationship. We couldn't decide if the fridge or the freezer goes on top. Top or the bottom.
Starting point is 00:01:24 So we've called a quits. No. I want to think about if you've ever had to help someone through a breakup or, yeah, because I maybe need some advice. Oh, so this is you're the, okay. I'm the onlooker. You're not in the breakup. No.
Starting point is 00:01:39 Well, it felt like I was. Oh, well, if you're helping and you get invested. Yeah. And the emotions get tied into, you know when, like, someone has a breakup and you kind of, like, naturally, like, pick a side? Absolutely. Because you kind of go, oh, well,
Starting point is 00:01:52 I don't really agree with what, like, they did. But, oh, but what did they do? Oh, that's not great either, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Do you know what I fucking hate? When somebody is very, very vocal about their relationship, like, on Instagram or Facebook or whatever,
Starting point is 00:02:06 and then all of a sudden nothing. And I'm like, you've asked me to get invested in your relationship and now you've broken up and you're not giving me any closure. I need to know if he cheated on you or not. Yeah, that's what we really want to know. Or all of a sudden she doesn't post for a while and then she posts again and she doesn't have the engagement ring on. You're like, what's happened there?
Starting point is 00:02:24 What's going on there? And the initials are out of the Instagram bio and you don't really know what's happened. So I, you know the stuff with the Try Guys last year? Did you hear that big brouhaha? Oh, because they were quite religious, right, but then he cheated on his wife or something? Is that that thing?
Starting point is 00:02:39 Yeah, one guy, it's like his whole personality was that he loved his wife so much. And it turns out he did one of the production assistants in the workplace. Yeah, right. Yeah, so he doesn't work there anymore. Yeah. And I don't know how religious, but that was definitely a very clean, family-friendly look.
Starting point is 00:02:54 Sure, okay. And so obviously that did not align with their values and stuff. Didn't they have to like cut him out of heaps of videos and stuff? So that's why I was watching this thing and don't get any ideas because of us, our shambles of a production company. They were like months ahead. You know, they'd filmed some stuff in advance. They had these big brand deals that they needed.
Starting point is 00:03:17 Well, that's kind of how it works. You do work in advance and, yeah. But like if there was a big brouhaha with us, like tomorrow's ep, that would be it. All of a sudden it wouldn't make sense. And tomorrow's Saturday, so then it would be like, if there was a big brouhaha with us, like, tomorrow's ep, that would be it. All of a sudden it, like, wouldn't make sense. And tomorrow's Saturday, so then it would be like, why have they posted on a Saturday? Tony's got a wild weekend coming up, folks.
Starting point is 00:03:32 We'll have to wait till Monday. But, yeah, so they're like, oh, we've cut this guy, but we've actually filmed a whole series with him in it. And especially branded stuff. They've probably already been paid for it. And he's like, will you owe me the money? Yeah. Fuck. That's gnarly the money? Yeah. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:03:47 That's gnarly, eh? Yeah. Anyway, why are we bringing it up? I have no idea how to answer that. Great. Actually, I don't know how it's related, but that's what he said to the girl. Atarpa sent us a message and said, I can no longer show my face at my local pizza store. That's a real shame. Pizza Me
Starting point is 00:04:04 in Brighton. Yeah, we will name it. Pizza Me. Oh. Yeah. Now, this actually, here's the, this is a true breakup story. Oh. Because, I mean, imagine having to break up with your own pizza place. I think especially when you know exactly what they do.
Starting point is 00:04:20 Like, you know, it's the consistency that you're after with like pizza or whatever. Well, here was the start of the brouhaha. Because you know what you're getting every time. Anyway. Pizza Me in Brighton prides themselves on their giant 18-inch pizzas. And I ordered one after getting home drunk one night, says this tarpa. As soon as it arrives, I look at it and I think, that's not 18 inches. Maybe a big 16, 17 at most, but that's not an 18-inch pizza.
Starting point is 00:04:46 A big 16. And I said, you know what you're getting when you go to your local. And he goes, that doesn't feel right. So in a drunken state, I drunkenly called the pizza place and they said they were sorry. And they said, hey, if you can just send us a photo so we know in fact that it's not 18 inches, you know, we'll fix it. We'll figure it out.
Starting point is 00:05:07 The tarpa who is telling us this story, did they measure it or they eyeballed it and were like? It seems that they get the 18 inch pretty regularly enough to when you. Look at it, you can tell. 18, 18, 18. Oh, nah, that one's not quite right. We recently got Domino's for dinner. This was a couple of weeks ago.
Starting point is 00:05:25 And that is like a Domino's pizza now is like a single serve pizza. It's tiny. They are so small. Yeah. Like I actually don't. We used to get Domino's like at birthdays and stuff sometimes as when I was a kid. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:38 And they were huge. The big family one. Yeah. And now if you order a family pizza, it's literally like a fucking pizza single. Family for broken homes. Oh. Fuck. It's not going to feed a full family is what I was getting at.
Starting point is 00:05:52 Fucking hell. A bit dramatic, but it's not. Did you just eat the leftovers the next day when you were a kid? Yeah. Yeah. I had a whole pizza left. Yeah. When the orphanage, they just threw a couple of pizzas in and it was like, oh, that's baby,
Starting point is 00:06:03 just four first hours. So he's eyeballing it. He hasn't measured it and doesn't know for sure. And they kind of, because you could imagine you could just eat the pizza and then message him and go, oh, it was a bit smaller, send me another one. You know, and fucking. Especially when you're drunk.
Starting point is 00:06:18 This reeks of the fucking chicken plucking fucking saga. So the place just goes, oh, look, if we've done wrong by, yeah, we'll fix it. Take a photo, send some proof, you know. Fair enough. Yeah. Yeah. So he's looking around for a tape measure.
Starting point is 00:06:32 Oh, right. So he's like, yeah, I'll get the measure out. I'll take a photo. I'll send it in and go, here you go, guys. Because you need something for scale. Something for scale. Yeah. So.
Starting point is 00:06:43 Oh, shit. Okay. So I couldn't find the tape measure, but I did remember that I have an 18-inch double-ended dildo. I put the dildo on top of the pizza and it clearly showed that the pizza was undersized. So I sent a picture of my dildo with the pizza to the pizza place and it wasn't until after I clicked send that I'd realised
Starting point is 00:07:08 I'd sent a picture of a dildo with a pizza to a pizza place. Yeah. There is no response from the pizza place because he sends the email off and you can only imagine what's going down at Pizza Me in Brighton. Forty minutes later, there's a knock at the door and this poor kid looks white as a ghost and he says, sorry, and hands over a replacement pizza. So this is all happening while this tarpa is, like, drunk and after a night out. Now, this is what he says.
Starting point is 00:07:48 This is no editorial. I'm just reading the fucking lot. Okay. The look on his face was saying, where does it all go? And I don't know if he was referring to the dildo or the pizza. I mean, I was actually thinking the same. Like, an 18-inch dildo, that's a lot, isn't it? With a double ender. I mean, I was actually thinking the same. Like an 18-inch dildo, that's a lot, isn't it? With a double ender.
Starting point is 00:08:08 Oh, so you go on half-half. I see. Well, it depends how you divide it up. Oh, yeah, yeah, I get it. Could go 3 and 15. Who's to say? Yeah, 3 and 15. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:08:17 Oh, my God. So this kid then tries to deliver the replacement pizza, and you just imagine him going, hang on, you, you wait there, because I'm going to measure this pizza, and you just imagine him going, hang on, you wait there because I'm going to measure this pizza and you just wait there. Can you hold the other end of my dildo? You hold that and straighten her out. Like, no, don't you worry. No, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:08:35 Run under the tap first. Don't worry. Don't worry. I run under the tap. Don't worry. It's fine. Tap being the other bloke's name. Now, this was sent through the-
Starting point is 00:08:50 This is making me really want a pizza. I'll be honest. Is it? Yeah, it is. Yeah. Is that embarrassing? I'm always down for pizza. I feel like I'm slightly less down for pizza after this.
Starting point is 00:08:57 Yeah, but are you hornier or hungrier? I feel like you need to pick one. If you're implying I ate pizza with a flaccid cock, you're right. Is that how you measure yours? That's how I knew the Domino's was so small. I went, look, this is the same size as Ryan's cock. It's tiny. That's not going to feed me.
Starting point is 00:09:16 I'm looking for a main course, not an entree. An order. An order. So this story came through the confession line, right? Oh, beepity beep. Yeah, and the guy said, I still have the picture if you want me to send proof. And I can't reply.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Oh, we can't reply because it's fully anonymous. It's anonymous. Oh, well, if you're listening. This is me saying, please send that picture. Hello at TonyandRyan.com.au. Please send that photo. Is he in it? Is it like a selfie?
Starting point is 00:09:46 Is it like a... Is it in here? It's probably blurry as fuck because he was wasted. Yeah, because he's drunk as fuck, yeah. That is... I just... That was the only proof. Like, that was... Okay, so let's just go like...
Starting point is 00:10:03 But now it's making me understand how he was able to eyeball 18 inches because he's seen it a few times. I know what 18 inches looks like. Yeah, because I've had it up my arsehole. Okay? That pizza would just fit in my arsehole with ease. That's so small. What do you reckon the manager's reaction?
Starting point is 00:10:25 They get this email saying it's undersized. They go, send the photo through. Then it's like, da-da-ding. Yeah. And they go, oh, there's an attachment here. No, see, I think it would be a bit like, da-da-ling. What is that? I feel like you might not know what that is straight away,
Starting point is 00:10:43 depending on how much you can see. His chorizo looks a little different to our chorizo. They're like, did I have all those olives down the middle when we sent it? What's going on? Like, I actually just, I feel like you would look at that and not believe what you were saying. But the fact that the manager hasn't called or delivered,
Starting point is 00:11:00 they've sent the kid, they've gone, oh, I don't really want to know much about this. Oh, kid, you've seen some shit, right? Yeah, go take this down to fucking old man's house. Oh, I don't know. And he woke up the next day and he's like, well, I can obviously never order from there again. Yes.
Starting point is 00:11:16 And that's why he can't go back to Pizza Me in Brighton. And I bet you Pizza Me in Brighton are very happy that he won't go back. They're like, you know what, we don't want to open another one of his in-house. Yeah, fuck no. He can go to jail for that shit. Hey, it's Bec from Liverpool in Sydney,
Starting point is 00:11:32 and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tarpers over at our Patreon. Jordan Conway. Love to see it. Thanks, Jords. No relation to Jonathan... Oh, no, I'm thinking of Jonathan Galloway. Galloway. Who am I thinking of?
Starting point is 00:12:00 John Galloway. Yeah. Yeah, obviously no relation. So Jordan Conway. Probably not A. Probably not A. Kat Killshaw. Love ya. Thank you. Jordan Savage Yeah, obviously no release. So Jordan Conway. Probably not A. So not the same. Probably not A. Kat Killshaw. Love ya.
Starting point is 00:12:07 Thank you. Jordan Savage, not Savoge. Caitlin Barker and Tori James. Absolutely love to see it. And all tapas have their names scrolling across the bottom of the video show. So if you're watching or casting to your TV or whatever, that's all of our Patreons just ticking along at the bottom. Oh, I forgot to mention yesterday, but I'll say it now.
Starting point is 00:12:25 On Monday. Yeah. Big day. Shareholders meeting. Shareholders meeting. An update. An update. Business update.
Starting point is 00:12:33 Business update. Because we do have a business. We used to not have a business, obviously. We were actually accused of having a business before we had a business. And we would not have dreamed of having a business at that point. No, we would never. And the other thing, while we're doing this housekeeping of letting you know about our Patreon,
Starting point is 00:12:49 letting you know about what's happening on Monday, if you're listening on Spotify, which everybody is because you have to, hit the follow button and all of our stuff will come up because then you won't miss a day and you won't miss that meeting on Monday. Yep. So I said before I want you to think about a time when you've maybe had to help someone through a breakup or have you ever had, I know that you've broken up with a lot,
Starting point is 00:13:11 broken a lot of hearts in your time. Why would you say that? But have you been through like a really rough breakup, like a breakup where like you were like just beside yourself? No. Really? Yep. So when you broke up with Kez, what happened then?
Starting point is 00:13:29 Because you were together for a long time, eh? Yeah, I think she was going travelling, I moved overseas. Oh, so it was kind of like a natural end. It wasn't like there wasn't a drama. Here's the thing, and I guess because I haven't had a drama or any like fuckhead do anything bad, I haven't experienced it it but I always get strange when there's these real nasty breakups because I go well if you've got this so much venom about this person why is it that you liked him in the first place but you don't ever start a relationship to break up with someone no but suddenly they're
Starting point is 00:13:59 like the worst person that ever lived and I don't know how you can get to know someone and love them so much and then they're the worst person that ever lived like I don't know how you can get to know someone and love them so much and then they're the worst person that ever lived. Like, surely, like, how are you seeing the same person right now? And again, this is someone who's never dated a fucking psychopath or a fuckhead. But also, like... But, like, the reason you fall in love with someone is because, like, you have the
Starting point is 00:14:18 same values, you like the same things, you're into like... And I always think, like, oh, and maybe and maybe because we just see influencers who, like, are with someone for two months and then they have these big toxic breakups. But I think like, oh, and maybe because we just see influencers who are with someone for two months and then they have these big toxic breakups. But I'm like, how can you be someone with two years and have all these similar values and want the same things and then suddenly like who the fuck is this person?
Starting point is 00:14:38 They're all a fucking asshole. Everything they believe in is bullshit. And you go, well, didn't you live with this person? I don't know. But like have you ever had, a friendship or any other relationship where you think someone's great until all of a sudden you're like, oh, I missed a lot of red flags? Yep.
Starting point is 00:14:51 Yeah. So, like, I feel like that could happen with a romantic relationship as well. Or, like, you know, if someone cheated, like, you got cheated on or, like, sometimes things are fine until things get tough. Yeah. Like, I feel like there'd probably be people that have been in relationships when all of a sudden one of you is going travelling and you go, oh, well, we can't do long distance or whatever,
Starting point is 00:15:13 and then you go, oh, well, I thought I'm, you know, you'd probably be really hurt by, like, I thought I meant so much to you and they're like, yeah, but I need to go and find myself. You'd be really heartbroken over that, I guess. One of my good mates. I guess. I don't know. No one loves me.
Starting point is 00:15:26 He proposed to this girl and she goes, oh, no, no, no. Like, you're not the guy I'm going to marry. What? And they'd been living together for years. And in her mind, that was just like, oh, yeah, he's like my 20s boyfriend, but he's like not the one. What does that even mean? And I always thought, like, if you move in, basically it's like my 20s boyfriend, but he's like not the one. What does that even mean? And I always thought like if you move in, basically it's like obviously things can change,
Starting point is 00:15:50 but in that moment you believe that that's going to be the way it is for a while. 100%. And if you're not ready for like the wedding specifically or the whatever, like I get that, but she was just like, oh, no, like that's not what this is. But also. He's like, I live here. What the fuck do you mean? But also.
Starting point is 00:16:07 And then expected him to accept that as an answer and just keep living with her. Oh, so it wasn't like she wanted to break up. No. She was just like, oh, but we're obviously not going to get married. No, like, we're not our, like, forever relationship. And he's like, well, why the fuck am I here then? Well, yeah, so that's what I was going to ask. Like, he didn't know that?
Starting point is 00:16:25 No, he was like, well, he proposed to her thinking that they were. He moved in with her going, oh, we're moving in and then probably eventually we'll get married and eventually we'll. And she's like, oh, no, no, no. Oh, my God. That's fucking heartbreaking. I thought you wanted to get married and have kids. And she's like, yeah, I do.
Starting point is 00:16:41 Just like, not with you. Oh. Yellza. So, anyway, what's been going on with you? Well, so given that you've never really been through like a hectic breakup i've had friends that have so i've been there so you've been in the war i've been in the trenches and i think that like my favorite thing to do when i've been dumped i've never dumped anyone i've only been dumped you're the dumpy um i've always been the dumpy when you get dumped you torture yourself you look at what they are posting on Facebook or MySpace or whatever
Starting point is 00:17:08 And you like eat shit food because you want to feel shit And you stay in bed I don't think that like by any producer cam is nodding quite large And I'm checking with him later But the thing is I think that you just naturally want to like make yourself feel shit Because you just want to, like, wallow in your sadness. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:27 But I haven't been through a breakup in, yeah, over 10 years of, like, a romantic relationship. Would you say you do for one? Oh. Yeah, Torbs is just my 20s boyfriend. I'm about to turn 30. So you're ready for an upgrade, baby. You're going to get a new man and a new freezer on the fucking bottom
Starting point is 00:17:44 of the fridge and all things are coming up, Tony. I can't deal with this. I can't do this. My freezer needs to be on the bottom. Yeah. No. So what happened was the other day I was heading into the city for like a meeting.
Starting point is 00:17:58 So it was like me. Is this something we should know about? This is my 20s podcast. This is my 20s podcast. This is my 20s business. Yeah, sorry. So we do have a business or we don't have a business? Well, you'll have to ask one of the people we referred to earlier. So I was heading into the city and being the anxious parker that I am,
Starting point is 00:18:20 I was like middle of the day, middle of the city, lots of traffic, no parking, I'll get an Uber. And so I like ordered this Uber. I hopped in the car and he's like, hi, how are you? Like, yeah, Uber for Tony. And I was like, yeah, I'm great. How are you? And he goes, yeah, I'm okay.
Starting point is 00:18:37 And I was like, okay, cool. And I didn't really think much of it and I think that, you know, when you kind of like jump in the car and you're like, oh, do I have any shit that I need to organise like when I'm on my way there? Yeah. And so I was- Double check the venue. What do I need to know?
Starting point is 00:18:50 Yeah, so I'm like- Is there someone at the door I need to say then? Yeah. Exactly. So I'm like kind of looking through my phone. I didn't really think much of it. Is my new co-host going to be there as well? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:56 Yeah. Like how am I going to tell Ryan? I'm like brainstorming all those ideas. No, it was nothing salacious. But anyway, like five or ten minutes go by. We're like sitting in traffic and I'd kind of finished all the shit that I needed to check on my phone and I put my phone like face down in my lap and I was just sitting there and I realised that like,
Starting point is 00:19:17 fuck, the music in this Uber was so depressing, like so fucking depressing. He was also an Adele fan. And I realised that Vance Joy, like that fucking depressing. He was also an Adele fan. And I realised that Vance Joy, like that song Georgia was playing. Oh. Like, you know that song, like if anybody doesn't know that song, listen to it unless you're going through a breakup.
Starting point is 00:19:36 Don't because you'll cry all your tears away. But, like, it is like the saddest song probably ever. And then the next song kind of comes on and it's Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi. Oh, and hang on, if I were to hazard a guess, who's that Australian guy that's got a really incredible voice? I know you like Rule. No. Similar body shape though.
Starting point is 00:20:00 Dean Lewis. Dean Lewis. Dean Lewis. Dean Lewis is queued up right now. Dean Lewis, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well,. Dean Lewis. Dean Lewis. Dean Lewis. Dean Lewis. Dean Lewis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the next song was Stay With Me by Sam Smith. So hang on.
Starting point is 00:20:12 How's the, is he going all right? And so instantly I'm like putting all of this, it was like that math meme. I'm putting all of these clues together and I'm like, this guy's going through a breakup. Is he looking for a rebound? Oh, my God. Sorry. He's getting through a breakup. Is he looking for a rebound? Oh, my God. Sorry. He's getting choked up.
Starting point is 00:20:30 Oh, my God. You okay, mate? Yeah, I'm okay. Sorry. I'm just sad. You're so emotionally invested. I'm invested. Did you ask?
Starting point is 00:20:42 Well, so by this point, we've been in the car for like 15, 20 minutes. Yeah. But we haven't spoken for like since I got in the car. But I'm realising all these songs. I'm like, this is a fucking breakup mix, a top 40 breakup mix. It's like hot songs from now. Maybe we should have done it when we worked in radio. We should have pitched that harder. Because it's always like an upbeat Friday.
Starting point is 00:21:00 What about I just got fucking dumped and cheated on Tuesday? Where's that playlist? Yeah, or maybe like a digital station that is like, we break your heart every five minutes. Like, you know, that would be a good idea. What's the sound of the secret song? Oh, that's the sound of my heart breaking into a thousand pieces. It's the sound of him fucking leaving me.
Starting point is 00:21:16 Maybe that is a good idea for a digital station. I think it is. Let's put it down on British Cam. Anyway, so I'm like, oh, this guy needs me. Oh, God, thank you. But because it's been like 20 minutes since we've spoken, I don't really know how to like break the ice because like. What do you say?
Starting point is 00:21:34 What do you say? And because normally you're like, oh, isn't the weather great? And he's like. So. You know. Busy day, mate. Yeah. Heading home to your wife.
Starting point is 00:21:44 Children. Anyway. Did she get the kids in the breakup? So I'm, like, agonising over how I'm going to, like, bring this up. And then we're getting closer and closer to where I was going. And I ended up, like, getting out of the Uber. Oh, and then you're going to fucking lob a grenade in before you walk off. Thanks for dropping me off, mate.
Starting point is 00:22:02 I hope that fucking arsehole stops cheating on you with that guy. Close the door. Walk into the meeting. Is that what you did? I got out of the Uber. And I was like. So it's like busy street. Busy street.
Starting point is 00:22:16 Fucking like bike messengers going past and fucking, hey, get your popcorn here. You know, like it's a fucking 20s scene in New York. Did he drop you off in 90s voice? Extra, extra. read all about it. Someone's shoveling snow. Yeah. There's a dirty water hot dog stand right there.
Starting point is 00:22:34 Anyway, there's all this shit going on and I was like, thank you so much. Like, oh, five stars. And he goes, thank you. And I was like, and I really hope that. And I was like, and I really hope that your week gets better from here. What day of the week was it? Early in the week.
Starting point is 00:22:55 Okay, that's good. Maybe midweek. Okay. I really, really hope that your week gets better. And he goes, okay. And then I realised he was wearing a wedding ring and I was like, oh, yep, just like, yep, just thank you so much. Oh, tippy in the app, ha, like whatever.
Starting point is 00:23:17 Because I started to panic. You had to pay money to get out of your own awkwardness. Yeah, because I was like, oh. And then I was like, but, yeah, like just hang in there. I hope everything's okay. And he's like. What but yeah, like, just hang in there. I hope everything's okay. And he's like. What the fuck, bitch? What?
Starting point is 00:23:30 Like, he just had no idea what I was talking about. But then I got out of the car and I was like, I don't know what I've done. Because I don't know. You freaked him the fuck out now. Well, yeah, because he probably is like, oh, my God, does she know my partner? Is she sleeping with my partner? Like, I just felt like I'd just begun all of these crazy scenarios in his head. In fact, you say I hope your week gets better. I think his week got infinitely worse.
Starting point is 00:23:52 Worse. Because now he's started this panic and spiral. I know. And so I guess I just wanted to open up the floor and ask what I should have done. Got out of the cab and shut the fuck up? Just not say anything. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:03 Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, because when I was like. So imagine if someone, if you say we were hanging out a few days in a row like we do. Yeah. And you come in and I go, feeling better than yesterday? And you go, what the fuck happened yesterday?
Starting point is 00:24:18 Was I in a bad mood? You know what I mean? Yeah, because you get really angry when I say, oh, you're in a bad mood then. You do get that. It does make you upset. What was I saying in oh, you're in a bad mood then. You do get that. It does make you upset. Oops, I hit the face. But that's what you've done.
Starting point is 00:24:30 That is actually a really good point. Because it's what the statement implies. When you say I hope it gets better, it implies that it's been real bad. Maybe he just loves Sam Smith. Maybe. And, like, who doesn't? Songbird of a generation. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:24:42 Like, that's fine. But, like, when my sister Libby moved away, so I was probably like 10, and she moved away, she was like. Stay with me. Vance, do I go to work now when she moved away? She moved away and she was like six hours away by car and we were like inseparable at the time. And she moved away and she lived at home with us still. She just finished her first teaching job.
Starting point is 00:25:08 And we used to have that song Sway by Bik Rung. You know that song? Sway my way. I am well aware of the Dawson's Creek soundtrack. Thank you. Yeah. It is also in American Pie soundtrack. Anyway, and so we used to listen to that song all the time in the car.
Starting point is 00:25:23 And the day that she moved away, she drove out with her bloody u-haul in the back of her little ford car and she left and mum walked in to my room like five hours later and i was laying in the dark listening to that song on repeat and that kind of was the same energy that the uber driver had when he was listening to and i could easily lose my mind. The same energy according to who? Because I have a few questions. When he was driving the Uber, was he laying in the Uber in the dark? He's like, you're going to have to drive.
Starting point is 00:25:57 Yeah, which seat do you want? Do you want the one at the front and the right? Yeah. No, he was like doing his job perfectly. At work? Well, he was at work, yeah. Okay. Sometimes you have to work when you're going through a breakup.
Starting point is 00:26:08 Well, yeah, I mean, yeah. You know, like sometimes you can't call in sick. You have to just go in. Is there a breakup leave? Does that count as sick leave? I mean, I guess you could. Is that personal leave? You'd be like, I can't go to work today.
Starting point is 00:26:19 Like if you're really struggling, you can't go to work. If BJ died, I'd need a year off. Oh, my God. If BJ. Yep. Anyway, I just thought that I was doing the right thing. It's good
Starting point is 00:26:31 to know that you don't think that I did. What should I have done? Just said nothing? Well, obviously. See, saying nothing is never obvious to me. We know. I always pick to say something. We know. If there's an option between talking and not talking, you're talking. Have you seen that meme?
Starting point is 00:26:48 It's like, yes, I have a right to remain solid but not the ability. For me, it's waiting till you get out of the car. Because there's no right of reply because then you just shut the door. You can say whatever the fuck you wanted and then just go because there's no rebuttal. It's like, and I reckon this. Yeah, right. Yeah, I did do that.
Starting point is 00:27:10 And then he's just sitting there in traffic. Extra, extra, you know, the bike messengers and everything. Maybe when you, you know, the songs are playing, maybe that you go, oh, is this a playlist? Or you go, you know what I mean, oh, is this a playlist? Oh. Or you go, you know what I mean? Oh, is this on shuffle? You reckon it's like? Oh, I love Dean Lewis.
Starting point is 00:27:32 Yeah, Songbird of Our Generation. Yeah. Yeah, maybe that's a subtle way of saying, like, if you want to talk, I'm listening because I'm asking some questions. Instead of just you lobbing an accusation into the car on the way out. And I just, because as I realised, I was like, how am I going to break the ice and, like, say something else? And I just wish that I'd noticed straight away because then,
Starting point is 00:27:58 but then how would I have known that all those songs were going to play? Do you remember when that Uber driver told me all about his wedding and, like and pulled over and showed me all those photos? That would drive me mad. Obviously, it wasn't the same guy. I really... It was the same guy, but that was a year ago.
Starting point is 00:28:13 Well, hopefully next week, it's a Friday today. Yeah. Next week on the pod, you'll come with a better attitude. So coming up next... See, that's what it's like. Fuck. Just dropping the hammer and pushing on. Hope the rest of the podcast gets better.
Starting point is 00:28:28 Fuck, yeah, that is gnarly. Oh, my God, I ruined that guy's day even more. I don't know. I rated him highly because I felt he needed it. Like I felt like he needed the boost of his self-esteem. You know how you can pick like the- Yeah, I did. How many times have you paid your way out of embarrassment?
Starting point is 00:28:46 You go, oh, I've done something bad there. I'm just going to give them money. Yeah, I do that a lot. Yeah. Yeah. And I know how fucked off you are with the people dropping off the fridge, but I know that they're going to get a huge tip. We'll fucking see.
Starting point is 00:28:59 If the fridge ever comes. I don't have an update from Torbs yet, which is interesting. I've got to love to see it here. Please. On Monday we talked about some of the all-time Snoop Dogg merch and collaborations. Yep. There's a photo in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group from Tapa
Starting point is 00:29:15 and Nikki Cecilia who said, whilst listening to the Snoop Dogg segment, I was wearing the Snoop Dogg merch you guys were talking about and she's got a photo of herself with the headphones in and the Snoop Dogg merch you guys were talking about and she's got a photo of herself with the headphones in and the Snoop Dogg t-shirt and stuff and she was like, it was like all my worlds were combining. That is amazing because remember I said, do you think I'm cool enough
Starting point is 00:29:34 to wear that? And you guys said no. Check out Nikki Cecilia. She's hot as fuck and... Did you just send it to me? No, no. Oh, it's in the Facebook group. Oh, like is it a post? Or just a comment? I think it's in the thread. Oh, I'm not going to be able to find a comment. I'll put it on the screen here so everyone else can see it. Okay, great.
Starting point is 00:29:49 But, Tony, you will see how hot and cool Nikki is and you'll go, yeah, nah, she gets it. Fuck yeah. Oh, good on you, Nikki. You can wear that. I can't. Yeah. My Love To See It is from James Thompson, also in our Facebook group.
Starting point is 00:30:02 After being on a secondment since October last year, I've been offered a permanent role within my company. You fucking love to see that. Putting in the hard work. And you know what, James? Hopefully your week gets better from here. Hopefully you won't do as poorly at this place as you did last. Watch the fucking door on the way out.
Starting point is 00:30:24 Just hit stop on the podcast. Sorry. Guys, there's a shareholders meeting on Monday. Yeah, we already know. We already talked about it. And the episode is not going to be called Flapped Tony. But fuck if you thought Tony was a mess
Starting point is 00:30:46 Getting out of that Uber So yeah Yep Monday Good show Oh god I'm glad That we stuck around for that Hopefully this podcast
Starting point is 00:30:58 Is better Do you need a hug? Thanks so much And a hollandaise pizza Oh yum It's a weekend Treat yourself True True true true Love you Thanks for listening And watching Bye And a Hollandaise pizza. Oh, yum. It's a way you can treat yourself.
Starting point is 00:31:05 True. True, true, true. Love you. Thanks for listening and watching. Bye.

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