Toni and Ryan - Stages of Friendship
Episode Date: December 21, 2021A question on a stage of friendship that Ryan and I don't even have yet!!!! Also we talk about our movie of the week - Home Alone! Love ya! Toni xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, a...nd make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hello, this is Alexis.
Alexis, it's Tony and Ryan.
How are you?
I'm well.
How are you?
We're well.
Hi, Alexis.
It's so nice to chat.
Yeah, it's nice to chat with you guys as well.
It's great that you've decided to answer your phone this week,
unlike prior attempts.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Why?
How many times have we tried to call, Alexis?
Well, you see here, I was asleep.
Sounds like a personal problem.
I'm a nurse.
Yeah, but you see, when you're a nurse, you sleep when you can.
Oh, Tony, don't you feel bad now?
Alexis has been out serving the community,
helping people on the front line, keeping people alive.
Sorry that that interrupted your podcast schedule, Toni Lodge.
Oh, egg on my face.
No, I'm just messing.
I work on a normal like 7 a.m. to 5.30, 6 p.m.
and I'm just tired.
You're allowed to be tired.
That's fine.
That's fine.
We won't judge you.
So are you in Salt Lake City?
Is that correct? I am, you're allowed to be tired. That's fine. That's fine. We won't judge you. So are you in Salt Lake City? Is that correct?
I am, yeah.
What is something about Salt Lake City that makes it so great?
You know, I ask myself that question every day.
It's obviously awesome.
Where is that?
Where is Salt Lake City?
Like in America, obviously, but like where?
I mean, you're going to have to really describe it because I don't know anything
about anything.
It's in Utah.
It's on the west coast, pretty close to Colorado,
not super close to California.
Oh, so near New York.
No, definitely not near New York.
Oh, no, sorry.
I meant far from New York.
So it's obviously, obviously it's near New Orleans.
It couldn't be further away from New Orleans.
No, definitely not.
I said far.
I said far from New Orleans.
Okay, so obviously it's close to Mexico.
Not super close to Mexico.
It's close to New Mexico.
In Tony's mind, and I think the mind of a-
New Mexico, Albuquerque, Breaking Bad.
Yes.
Getting closer.
I feel like Tony is representing a lot of Australians,
where we hear there's California and then there's New York
and then there's just some other stuff in between.
Yeah.
I couldn't tell you what side anything's on.
And so it's just one of those little places in between.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
One of those little places in between where it's like 300 days
of sunshine and the rest is snow.
That sounds great.
Alexis, we'd like to know if we have your approval to get started
with today's episode.
Yeah, 100%.
Thank you so much, Alexis.
We really, really appreciate you taking our call,
despite the very busy life you have.
To be fair, it was an off-the-cuff random call despite the very busy life you have.
To be fair, it was an off-the-cuff random call last week, so it was not.
Oh, no, we appreciate it, though, because you don't know how many times we call people and then they just don't answer.
And then we're like running down the list in like the calendly thing, trying to find
people in advance.
So thank you so much.
No, thanks for calling me back.
You should have seen it. I went into my fiance and I was like,
I just missed a phone call from Tony and Ryan.
What the fuck?
I even looked at my phone and I was so tired.
I was like, who the fuck is calling from a no caller ID?
Knowing exactly that it was you guys.
And I put my phone back down, woke up 20 minutes later,
and I was like, fuck!
Pleasure talking to you. And thanks so much for supporting us as well.
We really appreciate it.
Yeah, no problem.
I love you guys.
I cannot support you.
Oh, but we love you too.
Thanks, Alexis.
And when Tony figures out where Salt Lake City is,
we'll sure to be visiting to say hello in person.
Hi, this is Alexis from Salt Lake City, Utah,
and I approve this podcast.
Hey, you know what it's beginning to look like?
Christmas, everywhere you go.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
Take a look at the five and ten.
It's glistening once again with candy canes and silver lanes that glow.
Last week on the show. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
Toys in every store.
I regret bringing this up.
After you.
Are you finished?
Are you done?
Yeah.
Last week on the podcast.
Yes.
It's beginning.
Last week on the podcast.
Yes.
You said, and a lot of people would go through this,
what do you take to Christmas Day when you're told not
to bring anything? Lots of people gave
their advice. We had a chat about it. Now
that we're a few days out, you're about to leave
up to Albury to spend Christmas
with Jane, who is the narc from the Jason
Lauren, Jason PJ days. Yes.
What did you actually decide to go with?
Okay, so we're going to do the tiramisu. You are?
Yeah, we are going to do the tiramisu.
But also, someone reached out to me on Instagram,
the happy hens eggs on Instagram, Cassie.
She, like, is the egg queen of Albury and she messaged me and goes,
oh, my God, I'm so starstruck to hear that you're coming to Albury.
Let me know if you need any eggs.
And then I got a message from.
Is there eggs in tiramisu?
Well, there is now.
Bring it over.
No, no, no.
But then Jane, the narc, she goes, I'm going to make this pavlova roulade.
And I go, well, I got the eggs sorted.
So that's my contribution to Christmas.
You've done really well.
Drop in and see.
Cassie grabs some eggs, pavlova sorted.
I always get my eggs from Cassie.
She's one of the greats.
Yep, the happy hens eggs.
No happier hens in Australia.
That's what I say. Tony and the narc, just a, the happy hens eggs. No happier hens in Australia. That's what I say.
Tony and the narc, just a couple of happy hens up on the border.
Well, speaking of friends, actually, I have a question for you
and for anybody listening.
Well, it's actually a bit of a double-barreller.
One is because I don't understand Instagram.
Okay.
And the other one is because I feel like this is quite a serious step
to taking a friendship.
Ooh.
Do you have, Ryan, a close friend's story on Instagram?
Do you see my close friend's stories?
I don't.
So either the answer is no or you have one and I'm not part of it.
No, I don't have close friends on Instagram.
Neither do I.
Okay.
Did you, honestly though, would you have guessed that I did?
No, no, no, no, too much admin.
I know, right?
And also because both of you and I are very open.
There's actually nothing that I would post that I would only want
some people to see.
Like if I'm posting it, I'm fucking posting it.
Yeah, if I'm posting it, I'm posting it.
If I'm not, I'm not.
They're close.
Yeah, I don't have time to sort out.
Me either.
I literally don't have the brainpower to decide whether I only want
some people to see it or everyone.
Like it's too much.
Also, the terror of posting something that was supposed to go
to your close friends but popping it on your bloody.
And look, you've got like 200,000 followers on Instagram.
Excruciating.
Imagine if it's supposed to be, you know, like a pic of like your little bum
or something that you're supposed to post for 20 friends.
Who am I sending bum pics to my 20 friends?
But like it's just like funny or it's like Bridget doing something stupid.
Imagine how angry she would be if instead of she'd be so mad.
Torbs would be exactly the same.
What do people actually use close friends for?
I'm just going to assume that it's like.
Dirty stuff.
Dirty stuff or you're like, yeah, you're at a nightclub
and you're doing bad things.
In the bathroom and you're like, oh, my friends will think this is funny,
but not for everyone.
Yeah.
Yeah, and then you're Nadia Bartel yourself and fucking put it on your story.
Anyway.
Just some context, Nadia Bartel is an Australian influencer
who got caught on Instagram just having a wild time in a bathroom
with some friends at a party.
And you probably would have heard us talking about it before
because Ryan went viral on Twitter for commenting about the whole situation
and saying all the people in the media are saying,
oh, my God, how dare she do cocaine?
You either do it or you do it, basically.
All I'm saying is I don't think anyone was shocked to find out
that these fancy models who...
Rich as fuck.
Yeah, and I'm like, are you shocked by that?
Yeah, no, absolutely not.
I mean, if we could afford it, we'd probably do it too.
Exactly.
I wouldn't do it off a $4 Kmart plate though, that's for sure.
Yeah, no, mate.
Actually, I would.
That's all I can afford, especially if I'm buying drugs.
Anyway, so I imagine that that's kind of the kind of gear people
are putting on their close friend story.
I think that depending on the content you're posting on there,
putting somebody in your close friend's story is quite a big deal
because you have to scroll through the people that follow you
or that you follow or whatever and add them.
Like you have to add it person by person.
So if someone hits your name and adds you to a close friend's story,
that's a conscious choice.
Yeah, it's not a mistake.
It's not an algorithm.
You have decided that this person is close to you.
You want them to see your story.
Sidebar.
You might, because I'm a little bit older than you.
Yes.
A little bit, quite a bit.
Yeah.
Well, I'm 20.
I've just turned 28 and you're 37.
No, 34. 35, sorry. 34. 35 in 2023. Well, I'm 20. I've just turned 28 and you're 30 what, seven? No, 34.
35, sorry.
34.
35 in 2023.
Yep, sorry.
Were you around in the MySpace days?
Yes.
So you're aware of the like top eight, top four.
Was that the same sort of like, oh, I didn't realise at the time,
but could you imagine the stress and anxiety of managing not only who is
in the eight but the order of the eight?
Oh, yeah, because if you're going out with someone,
they were in your top eight and they were probably your first one,
but then if someone changed their top eight order,
you knew shit had gone down.
Yeah, what's gone down there?
Yeah, there's obviously drama in that circle of friends.
Oh, they bumped me down.
Well, let me just bump them right back down over here myself.
Yeah, exactly.
Like if I wasn't in yours anymore, I'd go, okay, well, fuck you.
I'll put Jennifer in my top eight.
That would end your life.
You would just be unable to function.
Yeah.
And so I've been thinking about close friend stories a bit
because I've been added to people's close friend stories
that I wouldn't necessarily consider.
Who?
No, it's not important.
It is to me.
It's actually so not important.
It's so important.
Who is a close?
How many people are you close friends with?
No, so they're not on my, I'm on theirs.
Yeah, yeah.
So I can see this.
How many people have added you to their close friends?
Oh, I don't even know how to tell,
but I'm probably on like 20 or 30 people's close friends story.
Yeah.
Who's got a close friend story that I know?
I actually don't know if you would know the people who's...
That's what I mean because I don't feel like I'm in any close friends groups.
Yeah, so I'm on quite a few.
Do you feel like this is privileged information
that you have to guard with your life?
Like what if you shared what they're saying?
But like...
Or is it all pretty boring?
I mean, none of it's that juicy.
It's just kind of like, but if you wouldn't post it on your main story,
why are you putting it on here?
And why are you tagging me in it?
Yeah.
But also, if I start a close friend's story,
do I have to add those people?
Because I don't, like,
they're maybe not people that I would want to add.
Oh, so you're saying is it transactional?
Is it two ways?
Is it like reciprocated?
Absolutely not.
Like they would then expect that I would add them,
but I wouldn't even post anything.
I don't even have one.
First of all, don't start one because look at you.
Oh, my God, I'm in pieces.
Yeah, I know.
You're a mess today.
I'm beside myself.
You're a mess today.
Yeah, I am a mess today.
You're a mess today.
A beautiful mess.
Thank you.
But a mess nonetheless.
But doesn't that feel like a real friendship marker?
That it's like, oh, yeah, you're like close enough to be on this.
It's the same with finsters.
You know how that's a thing now?
Like a fake Instagram or a private Instagram?
Oh, where like famous people have their personal one
where they can do dumb shit.
Yeah.
Oh, Nadia Bartel didn't know about that.
No, she didn't.
Probably got one now.
Here's a question.
Yeah, question.
If you, even though you didn't care much that you're
in these other people's close friends.
Oh, I'm, like, touched by it.
But what happens if you, let's just say Carl.
Yep.
You go, oh, Carl, good to see you around, mate.
I have a brewski.
Oh, you haven't been posting as many of the close friends' stories anymore.
And he goes, oh, yeah, I actually have still been posting those.
And you go, oh, because I haven't seen them pop up.
Would you feel like you've been dumped or demoted?
Yeah, because if you'd been added and then taken off, that's so awkward.
But, Carl, I hate it with the passion that you added me because I don't care.
But now I feel left out.
Now that you've taken me off, I mean.
I reckon it would cause chaos in friendship groups
because it would be like, oh, my God,
I saw that thing you posted on your close friend's story.
And then Molly goes, I didn't say that.
What close friend's story?
I'm not in your close friend's story.
One thing I love, there's this fictional cricket team
that's part of Sportsbet.
They're like all characters.
It's like a local cricket club.
Sure.
And they have an intervention with this guy.
And they're like, you're full of shit. No one likes you local cricket club. Sure. And they have an intervention with this guy and they're like,
you're full of shit.
No one likes you.
Your jokes are crap.
Pull your head in.
Like just stop being a wanker.
Yeah.
And then someone goes, this is why you're not in the group chat.
And he goes, there's a group chat?
That's bullying.
That's awful.
Is this the same sort of thing?
Yes.
Or if you're in a group chat, so it's you and like five of your girlfriends,
but there's a side group chat.
You know how sometimes there's a side group chat?
Oh, yeah.
Like three people break off.
Branch out, yeah.
Well, at work yesterday.
Is there a subgroup chat in the group chat of your work? Well, someone goes, oh, I like went to Blah's party last week.
Really?
And I was like, oh, and I really didn't want to be that guy being like,
I didn't know Blah had a party because I'm not a hot,
I'm trying like to just be like cool, cucumber, all good.
How's that going for you?
Awesome, as you can tell.
I've really let it go.
And I was just like, great.
And they were like, oh, you know how Blah had a party last week?
And I was like, sure.
Like I didn't buy in and I was fine about it,
but I haven't stopped thinking about it.
So someone at work had a party that other people at work knew about?
I don't know how many of the people at work went or were invited.
You just know that you weren't invited.
I know I wasn't invited.
And you didn't go.
And I obviously didn't go because I was invited.
Do you feel left out?
Who is the person that had the party?
It's not important.
Can I make a deal?
No.
If I have to call the barber.
No, this is not the same thing.
If we get 10 million patrons.
I'll add you to my close friends story.
So are you on the Tony and Ryan group chat?
Oh, my God, don't.
Is it?
What?
No, it's me and you.
We chat.
But you're not in the group.
I'm in the group chat.
Do you mean like our texts to each other or is there a different group chat?
There's a different group chat.
With who in it?
Me, Franco who does the videos, Bridget with her comedy,
Torbs with all the gold content.
But someone was a bit annoying so it's not worth that.
Don't you dare.
You know that I've got social anxiety.
That's so mean.
I started a group chat with you and my friend Tim the other day
and my wife got really pissed off that she wasn't included.
Yeah, so you added her and then she left and she went,
if I wasn't included in the beginning, don't want to be in it at all.
She's got the energy that I should think about.
I don't care about Blah's party from work.
Don't you?
No.
Doesn't seem like it.
It does.
I've let this go and you're making me sound crazy.
I don't care about Blah's party and I handled it really well.
I heard everyone had lots of fun there.
Good.
I'm glad that they did.
And you know what they said there?
You know who they said that they would love to have seen at the party?
Who?
No one because everyone they liked was there.
Oh, they probably posted about it on their close friend's story.
I'm like, what did you guys do on the weekend?
Oh, didn't you say on Blast Close Friend's Story?
Hi, it's Alexis from Salt Lake City,
and you're listening to Tony and Rain.
Tomorrow on the podcast...
Excuse us, we just paused and ate chicken wings.
Yeah, there's still a bit of chicken in my teeth.
Yeah, I can see fingering it, trying to get it out.
That's not the chicken.
Oh, God.
Things you can say in a restaurant and also in the bedroom.
Stop fingering my chicken.
Someone suggested we do things you can say in a podcast studio
and also in the bedroom.
It's basically the same thing.
Yeah.
Hey, Tony, can I stick it in your head?
Yeah.
Anything goes.
Pass me the lube.
You know, it all works.
Tomorrow.
Yes.
The Tony and Ryan show team members.
Team members.
Have done a Kris Kringle.
Don't tell me who you've done.
Don't tell me who you've done.
But we drew names last week.
I had to do a redraw because I drew my own name. So then I picked up the other piece of paper. Yeah. And I won't tell you who you've got. Don't tell me who you've got. But we drew names last week. I had to do a redraw because I drew my own name,
so then I picked up the other piece of paper.
Yeah.
And I won't tell you who I got.
Don't tell me who you got.
But we'll be exchanging gifts tomorrow, and I think,
I don't know if you'll cry, but I've gone all in on a throwaway comment
you had a few weeks ago.
Mate, that is never a good idea.
You said something and I went, oh, yep,
I'm going to dedicate the entire present to that comment.
Oh, okay.
So if you were being sarcastic that day, you're going to have a rough time.
Well, I've gone in blind.
I've gotten you something you've never mentioned
and don't know how it's going to go.
But it is a serious gift because I was going to get you garbage
and then I went serious. Mine is serious, but the presentation of it's going to go. But it is a serious gift because I was going to get you garbage and then I went serious.
Mine is serious, but the presentation of it might draw a tear,
but the application of it might draw a question mark.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Place your bets, folks.
That's tomorrow.
Okay.
Okay, you just take a deep breath.
Don't swallow the chicken hull.
Sorry, I also had a Coke with no sugar,
which is my second favourite beverage.
I'm feeling a bit burpy.
A big thank you to our champion tapas.
As we have mentioned this week,
if we get to 1,000 people in our Patreon before December 31,
yep, by the end of the year,
December 31.
December 31, yep, by the end of the year.
We will call Ryan's hairdresser and apologise and maybe answer some of her questions.
I'll buy a new towel.
Talk about some towels with maybe some of the money
that people contribute.
I actually don't want that to come out.
That's our joint income.
I'm not contributing to your towel shitting.
You've got to pay for that out of your own pocket, I feel.
All right, it'll come out of my share.
But, yeah, so if you join our Patreon.
This is not why I, when I chose to support Tony and Ryan,
I didn't want my money going to the shit towel either.
They probably wanted to go to us doing our job.
Yeah, but, no, apparently we've got to make some apologies.
I'll do it out of my own money that I earned from my radio job.
Good.
I mean, you've got so much of it, mate.
It can come from wherever you want.
But we want to say a massive thank you to our champion tapas.
Just a few, just a handful.
Jen Zinger, Cain Veenstra, Kiralee McLennan, Lane and Leah Fode.
Thank you so much.
So this week for our movie, it was going well, it is Ryan's favourite Christmas movie.
Yes.
We did your favourite Christmas movies last week.
The four options, Elf.
Classic.
Home Alone.
Also a classic but getting, it's like a way back classic.
Yeah.
Came out in like 1990.
I didn't realise it was that old.
When I was four or five, oh, obsessed because, you know,
you're that age and whatever.
What else do we have?
Die Hard.
Die Hard, yep.
Classic.
And Love Actually.
Love Actually.
I thought that would win.
Which is, it's obviously a Christmas movie,
but I guess it's not always put in the category of Christmas movie.
But it's the same with Die Hard.
Well, it's just based on Christmas Day.
There's many blogs and debates about whether it's a Christmas movie.
It's based on Christmas Eve.
It's a fucking Christmas movie.
Get the fuck over it. Yeah, so same with The Holiday. I love that as a Christmas movie. It's based on Christmas Eve. It's a fucking Christmas movie. Get the fuck over it.
Yeah, so same with The Holiday.
I love that as a Christmas movie.
Really?
It's such a great film, yeah.
Surprisingly Home and Away.
No, that's an Australian soap opera.
That's an Australian soap opera.
Okay.
Surprisingly Home Alone one.
Home Alone, yeah.
And you hadn't watched it before?
No, I hadn't seen it.
What do you think now that you've seen it?
I actually quite liked it.
Yeah? I understand why liked it. Yeah?
I understand why.
Like classics are classics for a reason.
Yep.
And I liked it.
I was a bit tricked when the police officer was the bad guy.
That throw you a little bit.
That tricked me.
But you know who I didn't like?
Who?
The uncle.
He was a fucking Merry Christmas.
John Candy?
Sure.
Was he the uncle?
I don't know.
Because when Macaulay Culkin, like, spills the drink everywhere
and he's like, look what you did, you little jerk.
Oh, no, yeah, that, yeah.
Like, fuck off.
Yeah.
What an asshole.
What an asshole.
And he just kept saying things that I thought were really mean.
And then when Macaulay Culkin's mum is like, oh,
you're the only one in this house acting out,
he doesn't even do anything.
He's not bad at all.
He's not a problem child.
Like, talk to Buzz.
Talk to the fucking arsehole older brother that's like,
oh, you're a little puke worm.
Fuck off.
Buzz is an arsehole.
And second of all, why aren't we talking more about Fuller,
the guy that keeps pissing himself?
Yeah.
He's way more of a liability.
Yes.
Socially, physically.
And then he's got that big pep.
He's like this.
Yeah, I know.
With the Pepsi.
I know.
For anyone that can't see me, which is everyone except for Ryan,
I just held up a can of drink to my mouth and went, whoa.
Also, you putting up a can of Coke and being like,
it's a Pepsi is like triggering to a lot of people.
Oh, no, but I don't have a Pepsi.
But I don't have a Pepsi.
I don't have a Pepsi to do the joke with.
I'm just saying Coke and Pepsi people who are like really competitive
about the two, they'll be triggered that you just interchanged one
so flippantly.
It was more about the can than it was about the type of drink
in that exact situation.
No.
Are we fighting?
It sounds like we're fighting.
No.
We've had chicken and we're aggressive.
We're full of hormones.
We've been injected.
Okay.
I didn't realise, and I guess, does this make sense?
When you realise something, you kind of go,
oh, I feel like I knew that the whole time.
Yeah.
But Fuller is Macaulay Culkin's little brother in real life.
Oh, really?
Who is now in succession one of the main characters,
and he's my favourite character.
He's Roman.
Yeah, I haven't watched Succession,
but I do know the guy that looks like Macaulay Culkin, yes.
Yeah, and so I didn't realise that Fuller, that's the same guy.
And obviously they're like,
oh, you've got to play Macaulay Culkin's little brother.
Well, he's actually got a little brother.
Let's just bring him in.
He has like two scenes and a funny smile.
Yeah, and his mum had already filled in the form,
so it's like fucking way easier. Photocopy that one. Let's has like two scenes and a funny smile. Yeah, and his mum had already filled in the form. So it's like fucking way easier.
Photocopy that one.
Let's fax it through to Bloody Warner Brothers.
Yeah, exactly.
And it wasn't until I rewatched it, I'm like, oh, of course it was.
Of course, yeah. Actually, like it looks like the same guy as Trains, that is to say.
But I actually love Succession.
I love his character in Succession.
So when that popped up, I was like, oh, what a treat.
It's such like a cute little like Worlds Collide thing.
Yeah, I know, right.
So here's the issue I've got.
With Home Alone?
Yeah.
Well, not too, just questions, I guess.
Okay.
When I watched it as a kid, I mean, it's obviously not overly believable,
but I feel like the older you get, you go,
how dumb can these robbers actually be?
Yeah, yeah.
You're like, you would just give up.
Like you'd go to another house.
Or you'd just take a sidestep and miss all the stuff. Yeah. Because I think as a kid you're like, you would just give up. Like, you'd go to another house. Or you'd just take a sidestep and miss all the stuff.
Yeah.
Because I think as a kid you're like, yeah, and I got you.
And then you watch it as an adult, you're like,
these guys are idiots.
Yeah.
There's a red hot smoking door handle.
I reckon probably don't grab that with your pants, you know.
Or when the one that's from Bushwhacked, like, grabs his pants.
Yeah.
Grabs his pants and then he drops the tarantula on his face. Yeah. Like grabs his pants. Yeah. Grabs his pants and then he drops the tarantula on his face.
Yeah.
If an adult man grabbed an eight-year-old by the ankle.
He's got him.
Like that kid is hitting the deck.
Like there's just no, I could probably do that to you and pull you down.
Like it's, you know, it's a pretty vulnerable part of the body.
Yeah, I know, right?
But here's my issue and because a lot of my friends are starting
to have children.
Yes. Bridget and I are starting to have children. Yes.
Bridget and I are hoping to have children.
Yeah.
And the other day, we were talking about twins for some reason.
Larry and Gary, your twin children.
Larry and Gary, my twin future boys.
Yes.
Larry and Gary, Laz and Gaz the Bash Brothers.
Yes.
Bridget and I were like, oh, twins would be way too much hard work.
And so then I'm like, who is this family?
How rich are they to have 57 children in the family?
And the house?
But they're taking them to Paris.
Taking them to Paris on a plane.
Parents are all in first class.
I want to know, what kind of drugs is this dad dealing?
Because he just.
Or the mum.
Or the mum.
But the kind of stereotype is like, yep, he's like a business dad
who's probably an accountant at the local fucking business.
Yeah.
And then you kind of, like I said, you watch it through these like planning.
A business dad at the local business.
Now I'm watching it through this like planning a family eyeballs.
The lens of like, hang on.
And I'm like, how many millions of dollars does this guy earn?
And he's your local business business hiring. Because I'm like, how many millions of dollars is this guy? And he's your local business business hiring because I'm interested
in a business job.
I'm ready as a business job as a businessman in your business business.
And I want to have 57 kids in a grand old mansion.
Three fucking stories.
Hello.
And again, you watch it go, well, they've got 57 kids.
Of course the house is big.
And now you look at it and you go, could you imagine cleaning the thing?
Yeah.
What a nightmare.
Or even when Macaulay Culkin goes down into the basement and they've got like the industrial size like washer and dryer
and one of those like in a hotel how they've got the like soiled laundry
bins on wheels.
There was one of those.
I was like, what the fuck are they doing?
Poor Mrs Macaulay Culkin.
She's fucking washing all that shit.
Yeah, I know.
Fuck that.
Doing laundry for 57 kids.
So, again, watching it now, I'm just like, no, I can't handle it.
There's too many children.
Yeah, but also the main thing, how do you leave a child behind?
I understand they set it up and stuff, but because I hadn't seen the movie,
I thought what happened was that they get to Paris
realize he's at home call him go fuck we've left you at home he's like oh good stay and have fun
and they stay I didn't realize that she was like I've got to get home so that's why I haven't
watched it for so many years because I was like that's not what would happen because the mum
doesn't call Macaulay have a great time mate great time, mate. Yeah. Oh, bro, sorry we've left you at home.
Your dad's business business has sent us on this business trip,
business and business business.
I thought that they didn't even attempt to come home.
So I was like, well, she's a witch.
I'm not going to watch that movie.
But then I watched it, obviously, last night and I was like,
she does try and get home.
And then when she's like, Merry Christmas and he runs into her arms,
oh, I was gone.
I was boring.
You were gone?
You were done?
I'd love to see my mum on Christmas.
Not going to happen, obviously. May she rest in gone. I was boring. You were gone? You were done? I'd love to see my mum on Christmas. It's not going to happen, obviously.
May she rest in peace.
That was quite hard for me to watch.
Sorry that I...
Was it triggering for you for being a boy left behind?
I didn't even think...
Well, my movie's not called Home Alone.
It's called My Whole Life Alone.
Yeah, your mum didn't come back.
Sorry, mate. She's still in Paris. She's on business trip. Yeah, it's called My Whole Life Alone. Yeah. Yeah, your mum didn't come back. Sorry, mate.
She's still in Paris.
She's on business trip.
Yeah, she can't find the business business.
She goes, hey, it's nothing personal, it's just business.
I don't know if you saw this, the actual house is on Airbnb.
Pretty cool.
And I think it's like a promotional thing.
I don't think it's like a forever Airbnb because I looked it up.
I'm like, what's the details about this house?
Yeah, how much is it worth?
Yeah.
It's actually hosted by Buzz.
He's like there when you go in.
Let me read this from the Airbnb website.
Acting dried up for him, obviously.
He's got plenty of time for a side project.
We all may be older and wiser now, but we're never too old for family hijinks,
says Buzz. So this year, spend the holidays not so home alone at my parents' house. Okay,
he's doing press releases in character. You're right. He's not getting a lot of work. You may
not remember me as being particularly accommodating. That's fucking generous, Buzz. You're an arsehole.
But I've grown up and I'm happy to share my home, my pizza,
and my holiday season with you, not to mention my tarantula, Axel.
Just don't let him out of the cage.
Oh, a little callback to the film, yeah.
Great work.
So that's his parents' house.
No, I think he's referring to his character.
Oh.
So he's in character as Buzz.
Sorry, I thought it was like. But I think that's weirder. Yeah. Because he's in character as Buzz. Sorry, I thought it was like.
But I think that's weirder.
Yeah.
Because he's fucking 50 years old now.
Say you, me, Torbs, Bridget, we go, hey, let's go over, have a look.
We rock up and he's in character and we're like, hey, just be cool, bro.
And I would have, like, whilst I read this on the page and was like,
this seems like a lot of fun.
Yeah.
It's kind of weird.
Now that, when I think of it realistically, that is awful.
That's not great.
I couldn't think of a worse way to spend my Christmas.
In a cold place in Illinois, some character who's the least likable
character in a cast of, imagine being the worst of thousands.
Worse than the robbers.
Worse than the robbers.
I'd hang out with Joe Pers Percy and Bushwhacked any time.
Buzz, no.
And then we'd rock up and we're like, oh, hey, Buzz,
the two of us, we're, you know, on a bit of a trip.
We're all mates from Australia.
We're on a sexy trip.
So what are you up to today?
He goes, oh, I thought I'd just hang out and, like,
show you around.
Yeah, ordered some pizza from Nero's Family Pizzaria.
Hey, Buzz.
Fuck off.
Take a fucking hike, pal.
But, like, does he stay there the whole time?
I think so.
Oh, I thought he was just there to, like, show you where the key is
and, like, show you how to turn on the air con or something.
Apparently he's there the whole time.
Oh, no, I'd pay more for him to leave, I think.
How much for Buzz to be there?
Oh, this much.
And how much for him not to be?
That's, like, how, this much. And how much for him not to be? That's like how they get you.
My love to see it today is a message that I got on Instagram from a guy called Jay.
He is a doctor.
Yesterday morning I was driving into work
listening to the podcast as always and laughing
my ass off. Suddenly a man
runs across the road to attend to a man
who had collapsed. Whoa.
I pulled the car over and went over to
the man who was not breathing and
had to start CPR. Obviously being a doctor
he's like okay. We got a defib
from the local school, gave him a shock,
and the paramedics took over.
Team effort to revive the man got him to hospital.
The police cordoned off the area and diverted traffic,
and during all of this, the car was still running
and the podcast was playing.
Our podcast?
Tony and Ryan, the podcast.
Oh, my God.
You can only imagine the sounds blaring out of my car.
Unsure if anyone else heard, but in all that turmoil and Ryan, the podcast. Oh, my God. You can only imagine the sounds blaring out of my car. Unsure if anyone else heard, but in all that turmoil and stress,
it made me smile to think Tony was telling another hilarious joke
or Ryan was making another shit recommendation and giving us a laugh.
Oh, well, fuck you.
Here I was feeling heartfelt and you still need to put an insult in that.
What's his name?
Jay.
Really glad you guys are able to live your dream of having a top podcast
that cheers up the whole world. I love to see it. I don't love to see it, Jay. Really glad you guys are able to live your dream of having a top podcast that cheers up the whole world.
I love to see it.
I don't love to see it, Jay.
Oh, fuck off.
That's really nice.
You're just upset that you give shitty recommendations.
I recommend you go listen to someone else.
No, we love everybody that listens.
All three people.
Hey, I saw this meme the other day.
No one uses Netflix less than the person who actually pays for the account.
You know what I mean?
It's always the other people.
Yep.
Well, I've got something you love to see.
Okay.
Earlier this year, I had to review Mayor of East Town.
Oh, yes.
I remember.
Yep.
Here's a two-week.
How much did you make for that?
I can't remember.
It wasn't much, but they're like, here's a two-week subscription so you can watch the
show before you review it.
Oh, great.
They haven't turned the subscription off.
I've still got Binge for free, which is all HBO shows and stuff like that.
Absolutely awesome.
And I did a review for Amazon.
Yeah.
And Stan, different things a few years ago.
Yep.
I realised this week that I've got Stan, Amazon and Binge
and I'm not paying for any of them.
You'll have to see that.
They gave me a free two weeks and a few years later, look at him go.
Enjoying shows for free.
Enjoying them for free.
So anyone who's a friend of a friend on our Patreon,
I'm fucking back on you.
All about it.
Or you could send your login because you're not paying for it anyway.
Give it to everyone.
Everyone can enjoy it.
Who's given bad recommendations now?
Terrible idea.
Don't mess with my algorithm.
You don't want to share with the people.
I shared my shit towel story.
Is that not enough?
Actually, you didn't have to.
No one asked you to do it.
Meow, meow, meow.
Meow, meow, meow.
Meow.
Meow, Tally-Cop.