Toni and Ryan - Stubborn Partners and Coffee Snobs
Episode Date: September 7, 2021Okay so actually the correct term was coffee bitches, SORRY BRIGITTE! Hope you love this ep because we LOVED making it. Make sure you join our Facebook Group for this weeks' assignment!!!! Find #ToniA...ndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello?
Hi, is that Mary?
Yeah.
Oh, sorry to interrupt whatever...
The road rage that's happening.
What's going on?
It's Tony and Ryan.
I'm so sorry.
Are you going to turn into Russell Crowe and kill someone in the car?
I completely forgot about this call.
But I'm on Sydney Road and it's a nightmare
and I'm just going to hate to leave.
All right, well, I know how much of a nightmare Sydney Road is,
so let this just be quick.
We just wanted to get your approval before we started recording.
Are you OK with us doing this episode?
Oh, yes. Amazing.
That's great. Thank you so much.
Have a great day.
Thank you. I love you guys.
Love you too.
Bye.
Hi, my name's Mary and I'm stuck in traffic and I approve this podcast.
Welcome to episode six of Tony and Ryan and a shout out again to Mary who's in the traffic on Sydney Road in Brunswick or Coburg in Melbourne.
Oh, actually, I've got some feedback.
The beeping's killed me.
I can't believe that that happened.
I've got some.
I should have included this in Monday feedback.
Oh.
How many messages have we got along the lines of I would love to give the approval?
It would make my life.
So many.
Which is lovely, isn't it?
So lovely.
However, the last two times we've called people, they go,
oh, I totally forgot you guys were calling.
What do you want?
It's a privilege.
If I said something will change my life,
I'd probably remember it a day later.
Like if Bridget Corbyn goes, it's time the baby's here,
I'd be like, oh, are you pregnant?
I totally forgot about, like, I would be aware.
That thing's happening.
I'm actually at Subway at the moment.
Sorry, extra mayonnaise.
I'll be down there in a second.
Like, you're going to remember.
You're going to pop it in your calendar.
I love getting approval, but don't say it'll change my life
and then forget that we're calling.
Because it actually really hurts feelings.
Does it?
I just feel for Mary who was in traffic.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, she should have planned her day better.
Do you know what I mean?
I do know what you mean.
Get it together, Mary.
Hey, coming up, I've got a quiz for both you listening now and Tony.
People have poorly but honestly described what they do for a job
and you guys have to try and guess what that job is.
Do you know, I love games.
Do you?
So you know how as a kid you would listen to the radio or whatever
and you would hear them play like the dumb games
where they'd have to guess stuff or whatever.
You'd do the quiz and whatever.
Yeah.
I was always like, oh, that must be the funnest job ever
because they're literally playing a game for their job.
Well, that is your job now.
Oh, my God.
Tony's made it.
Ladies and gentlemen, you're hearing a lovely young lass achieve her dreams.
Yes.
I don't know why I said that.
I don't know why I said that. I don't know why I said that.
And I also need to talk to you about overrated TV shows and movies,
which is a hot button topic inside our Facebook group,
which you can join.
The link's in both of our bios on Instagram and TikTok.
We need a chat.
Okay.
Yeah, there's a lot going on there.
Yeah.
All right.
So, Tony, I want you to think, and also you listening now,
about who's the most stubborn person in your life.
Is it your partner?
Is it a parent?
Is it a sibling?
Is it someone you work with or your boss?
But I feel like most people in their life have that one person
that you're like, so stubborn.
Yeah, and you just like can't talk them around to anything.
No, no.
And that's the definition of the stubbornness,
that nothing you can say or do.
Is going to affect what they think?
Yeah.
And so for my wife, Bridget, that person is me.
Are you quite stubborn?
Well, not normally, but there's a few things that I've like dug my,
like specific examples where I've dug my heels in and then realised I was very wrong about it and refused to.
And it's too late.
Yeah.
You can't back out of that car park once you've said that you're going
into the car park.
Yeah.
So actually it was last week when we were recording,
Bridget said on the way home can you go to,
so where we record in Richmond there's this on Swan Street
like a bougie little independent supermarket.
You know those, like a deli that's got like the specific good stuff.
Yeah, you've got to take out a line to walk in.
Yep.
They are a bit spendy, so usually the main shop will be at Coles or Woolies,
but if there's like a couple of specific ingredients, she'll be like,
oh, can you just get that nice stuff and we'll have a bit of a treat
on Saturday night.
Like what kind of thing?
Well, here's the issue.
Oh.
She told me before we recorded and she said,
Ryan, should you write this down?
Yes, you should.
You, you, Ryan John Dunn, yes, you should write it down.
Do I have to write it down, Tony Louise Lodge?
No.
Ryan, yes.
Oh, I'm not going to ask what side Tony's on because it seems.
No, because I just know where this is going.
And I, of course, am on your wife's side.
Bridget said, maybe I'll text you.
So then it's in your phone.
I said, hey, it's actually fine.
You said, dull, don't underestimate me.
I got it.
I know what I'm getting.
All over it.
I know what special sausage you want me to bring home.
And how. Oh, God. I know what special sausage you want me to bring home. And how.
Oh, God.
So we finished recording last week.
I go down to the bougie supermarket.
I have no idea what I have to get.
Uh-huh.
No idea at all.
Now, would I call Bridget and say, can you remind me?
Or have I already picked the hill I will die on and go, wow,
I made such a big deal this morning about the fact I wouldn't forget.
I can't possibly go back.
You know, tail between my legs and ask her.
So I thought this is what I'll do.
I'll walk up and down every aisle of this supermarket
and look at every shelf and I'll probably see it
and then that will remind me.
Oh, like hope it jogs your memory.
Terrible idea.
So I would rather walk up and down and look and then that'll remind me. Oh, like hope it jogs your memory. Terrible idea.
I would rather walk up and down and look and I'm hoping like I'll see the jar of sauce and go, oh, it was a jar of sauce.
Yeah.
So do you know the one I'm talking about, by the way?
I don't.
No, I haven't been there.
I can't afford it, mate.
So the guy that works there, he's so great.
But in this account. You know the guy that works there, he's so great. But in this account.
You know the guy that owns the special grocer.
No, like if you had the service that he provided,
you would be aware of it because he's very forward and very,
like I don't want to say overly helpful because that sounds mean,
but he is very committed.
Attentive.
Yep.
All over it.
As soon as you walk in, mate, what can we get you?
How can I help or show you where it is? You're like, well, I don't know.
So, well, here's the thing. And I didn't want to admit that to him because I feel like an idiot.
So he's watching me go down every aisle and look at literally every product in the shop. I eyeballed
every product and went, no, nope. He probably thought you were on drugs.
So he comes up to me and goes, oh, you're obviously looking for something specific.
How can I help?
And I went, I am looking for something specific.
And he goes, oh, what is it?
And I said, I don't know.
Oh, how embarrassing.
And then he says, what do you mean?
And I said, well, my wife told me exactly what she wanted
and I can't remember what it was.
And he goes, oh, did you write it down?
Called out by the guy from the grocery store.
And I went, no, I didn't.
And he goes, oh, maybe she should text you and then it's in your phone.
And I was like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
And I was sort of a bit like if I wanted to get lectured
about writing stuff down, I would have just stayed home.
Or I would have just called her out the front
when I was parallel parking on Swan Street
and asked her what I needed.
You know what you should have done?
You should have gotten the guy that owns the grocer
to call your wife and say,
oh, we're just doing some field research
and we want to know what...
If you happen to need something from the store,
what do you reckon it would have been?
Gun to your head, you need something from the supermarket.
What would that be?
What do you feel like tonight?
And then maybe you would have had the answer.
So I get home.
Did you buy anything?
I did.
Oh, and what did you do?
Did you say, you know what, I saw this and thought it was more perfect
than what you wanted?
No.
That would have been better than whatever you thought.
Nothing I did on this day would be considered better than anything.
No good options were taken.
I bought a packet of salt and vinegar chips
and then ate half of them in the car trip on the way home
and then walked in and Bridget goes,
did you get the Adobro sauce?
Is that how you say it?
I don't even know what you're saying.
Neither do I.
Adobo?
Adobo. Adobro. Well, obviously we all know the answer to it? I don't even know what you're saying. Neither do I. Adobo? Adobo.
Adobro.
Well, obviously we all know the answer to that.
I hadn't.
And I said, oh, no, I didn't.
But I got these salt and vinegar chips.
Would you like some?
And she said, well, you've already eaten half of them.
Why didn't you just say they didn't have it?
Nothing I did on that day was smart.
Why didn't you just say, oh, my God, so I'm talking to the guy
from the grocer and they've sold out of the Adobro sauce?
You know what she said?
What?
And I could smell that something was cooking.
She's like, I've already got it.
I knew you wouldn't get it.
That's not good.
So last Saturday night we had a delicious curry with Adobro.
Again, I don't know what it's called.
I don't know why Adobro or Adobo sauce in my mind but whatever she wanted she just knew so confident that i
wouldn't get it just went and got it herself while we were doing the podcast we ate the curry it was
delicious and that's well i'm glad that someone's in charge over there to be honest
all right tony what do you got you got some beef with TV shows. Okay, so in our Facebook group, again, you can join at the link
in our buyers on Instagram and TikTok.
When we first started this podcast, we said,
what's a TV show that you hate that everybody else seems to love?
Yeah.
We last week, again, we're really running low on things to do in lockdown.
People had been talking about, you know that movie A Quiet Place?
No.
What?
I haven't heard of it.
So it's like this massive movie.
It was, I think it won awards and stuff.
It's got John Krasinski in it from The Office and his wife,
Emily Blunt, and basically.
Oh, yeah.
I've seen all the ads and the promo and they're doing the interviews.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So basically it's just this quiet world.
You can't make any noise or something's going to eat you.
Sounds like a thriller.
Yeah.
Same in my kitchen.
Something makes noise, I just eat it.
And we'd heard amazing things about this movie that apparently
is groundbreaking and just incredible.
It was shocking.
Really?
It was shit.
It wasn't good.
Just not interesting, boring.
Like I actually just don't even have anything to say about it.
Were their performances good?
I mean, John Krasinski, he's a bit of all right, isn't he?
But I tell you what I'm getting over, a bit of like, oh,
the story wasn't great and there was plot holes and it wasn't well filmed,
but great performances by the actor.
I'm like, mate, if I don't like the show,
the performance of the actor is irrelevant.
If I don't like the show, they're not good.
Because there's a lot of, oh, but he was great in it.
Oh, but she's always great.
Well, was she?
Because I felt the show was crap.
It's either a good show or it's not.
No, but someone can be good at what they do,
but the show can be bad.
Yeah, but it's like a reviewer going, oh, well, it's terrible,
but still watch it for their performance.
Oh, yeah.
And I'm like, no, it's not a good show.
It doesn't bring it back around.
I'm not going to waste my time watching it if the show is bad,
but just, oh, their acting was good.
Oh, it was a murder mystery.
They didn't actually tell us who killed the guy, but, oh.
She was fantastic.
The detective was great.
Yeah.
But then it got me thinking about all these things that people go like,
you know when you give someone a recommendation, i.e. you do it got me thinking about all these things that people go like,
you know when you give someone a recommendation,
i.e. you do this a lot, give a recommendation and the thing is not good.
Yes.
And then you think about all these overrated TV shows
that people have been talking about and then you're the one
that has the unpopular opinion or you're in a group of people
and they're all like, oh, did you watch A Quiet Place?
And then someone goes, oh, wasn't it phenomenal?
And then you have to sit there and disagree.
And you're the arsehole that's like, I actually really didn't like that.
And then you have to defend your hatred of it.
Yes, and then you are the arsehole that then has to go, you know what,
actually I really didn't like it.
And then people are like, oh, sorry, I didn't realise you were
Steven Spielberg.
No, I'm not.
But I know a bad movie when I see one because all I do is watch TV.
So as someone who has recommended many shows to you and then you have not liked them,
do you feel like you, Tony Felicia Lodge, are in this situation a lot where you're the hater and the judger?
So I'm getting to this point where I'm thinking that I'm the problem.
Maybe the TV that I'm watching.
It's fine.
Maybe it's not the recommendations.
Maybe John Krasinski is great.
Krasinski?
What's his name?
Krasinski.
Maybe he's fantastic.
Yeah.
Oh, do you know what's bloody good?
A Kranski, like a sausage food with cheese.
Yeah.
Should we get one of those on the way home?
Yeah, I know a place.
Oh, the guy.
Keith's Pies.
Oh.
Okay, Keith's Pies is this really dank pie shop near Tony's house.
I was going to say let's go to the fancy bougie deli
that I was talking about before.
Okay.
I'd love to walk into that place and know what I was after.
He goes, oh, come in for the adobro sauce.
I listen to the podcast.
Keith's Pies, they do a Kransky.
Yeah, they're good.
With pastry around it.
When I've been to your house previous.
Yeah, the only time I've got it is walking from your house back to my house.
Because I have to walk past it.
Did you get the Kransky?
If you think I'm walking past Keith's Pies and not getting the Kransky,
you're wrong, bro.
How good is it?
It's real good.
It's so good.
But you can just feel your life shortening when you eat it.
Oh, days.
Gone.
So you're a hater.
I'm worried that I am.
What I like here is the self-awareness because you are a hater.
And what I am disliking in the Tony and Ryan group is because you've started
this whole thing that I give recommendations and they're bad.
And then someone said the other day, I watched something, it was so bad it was as if Ryan recommended it.
Oh, that is so funny.
I was like, what have you started?
What have you started?
So I'm sort of glad this has happened to you.
Well, I'm really.
What's another one you've been recommended and haven't liked?
Okay, well, you've recommended.
The White Lotus?
Oh, I haven't watched that.
Okay, so you just don't watch it.
I'm writing it down right now. I'm writing it down right now. Clickbait? The White Lotus? Oh, I haven't watched that. Okay, so you just don't watch it. I'm writing it down right now.
I'm writing it down right now.
Clickbait?
White Lotus.
Oh, see, I just didn't think that that looked that good.
Filmed in Melbourne?
Is it?
Mm-hmm.
We at the moment are watching this show called Utopia,
which is also filmed in Melbourne.
Don't know if you've ever watched it.
It was like an ABC show.
It's an Australian show.
It's so funny.
That's a recommendation.
Okay.
But then, because I'm such an arsehole about recommendations,
I never recommend anything to anybody because I'm too scared.
Because you've put yourself on a pedestal.
Yes.
But now I'm this self-realised film wanker that actually maybe I'm the problem.
I don't know if you were looking to me for support,
but after the hosing down you gave me from the stubborn adobo soil story, I'm just going to have to agree that you are an arsehole.
Do you know what actually we did watch the other week? The new
Space Jam? I thought you were about to go, the news.
The new Space Jam. Was that good?
Shocking. Have you watched He's All That?
No. Okay.
The chick, the one with the chick from TikTok.
Addison Rae.
Okay.
Everyone listening.
Okay.
Yes.
Let's all watch this together because apparently it is atrocious.
So, okay.
There's a scene going around that's going viral where she's dancing
and they've green screened her arm out and just forgot to put it back in.
And it's like.
No.
Yeah. Have you's like, yeah.
Have you not seen it?
Yeah, like, so when I say it's bad, it's not just like,
oh, a bit of a crappy plot.
It's like, did they finish editing it before they published it?
So, because it's a remake of She's All That, right,
which is that, like, 90s movie about, yeah.
Yeah, and now it's He's All That,
and she is playing the role of a TikTok star.
I mean, how you can't do a good performance of a character based on you?
You don't even need to act.
You just need to be yourself.
And she still can't nail that role?
I reckon I could do that.
I reckon I could act.
Could you?
I reckon.
Well, can you act like someone who enjoys a film recommendation
because that would be a great performance from you?
Well, apparently I'm incapable of liking things that people recommend to me.
Yeah, so maybe you're not a great actor.
But let's all watch that together.
I like that.
Everyone listening, and then we'll start a little thread in the group,
and then on Monday's episode we'll discuss our findings.
We'll reconvene and talk about the film.
And also that feels a break on Monday as well.
Great.
Less work for us to do.
Yeah, great. i'm all about this
hey you're listening to tony and ryan
minute made zero sugar tastes so great it sells itself so we didn't bother to write this ad Minute Maid Zero Sugar.
Great taste.
Zero sugar.
Sells itself.
All right, so we're just about to get into the quiz that is people have poorly yet honestly described what their job is
and you and Tony are going to guess what it is.
Yeah.
However, during the break there,
Tony just dropped a bombshell and described my wife as a bitch.
Okay, no, I didn't.
That's what I heard.
I didn't say she's a bitch.
I said we were talking about
Bad recommendations
And you said
It's similar to when
A coffee snob
Recommends a coffee
Or you recommend a coffee
To a coffee snob
And you go
Oh my god
I hope they like it
Makes you really anxious
I said
That this is ages ago
Like between lockdowns
Lockdowns, yep
And
I came over to your place
For a coffee
Your partner Torbs
Made me a coffee Yeah And we Torbs made me a coffee.
Yeah.
And we've got like a lovely coffee machine that we love
and we're really proud of it.
We buy really nice beans from St Ali in South Melbourne
and I said that I was really anxious about that coffee
because your wife is a bit of a coffee snob.
Did you say snob?
I said coffee bitch.
My wife is a coffee bitch.
Apparently.
And you only drank half of the coffee and you tipped
the other half out. Was it because you needed to poo?
It wasn't, which is surprising for me because I can go on command.
You wee a lot too. Yeah, I go to the bathroom all the time.
You go to the bathroom all the time. Yeah, and I drink a lot of water.
I get anxious that if we go someplace that there's no bathroom,
like, well, I better go before I leave.
Yeah.
It's very endearing.
Endearing?
No, it's called anxiousness and it ruins my life.
Bridget's like, you should have more.
Bridget said, you should have more faith in your bladder.
I'm like, this is the most 80-year-old conversation.
I'm a sipper at coffee, though.
Okay. So it was great coffee. So put a sipper at coffee, though. Okay.
So it was great coffee.
So put your mind at ease.
Okay, thank you.
But I am someone.
See, that was months ago and I've held on to that.
I'm, like, stressing about the coffee that you didn't drink.
I'm sorry about that.
So Bridget will make a coffee and then, like.
Because she does it in the French press.
Well, we just got a new coffee machine as well.
Because I think she was impressed by your home coffee setup
that we now have a home coffee setup.
Oh, nice. And because we were spending too much like it was one of those
let's invest in a good machine and not have to buy a takeaway every day it'll pay for itself over
time and it really has already but she'll within six minutes have consumed it because she loves it
and she loves it hot and stuff but for me I'm happy to I love having coffee while I'm doing
emails I'll sit there and just sip at it for an hour. And she'll come back six minutes later and go, oh, did you hate it?
You've only had a sip.
You didn't like it.
I'm like, no, I'm just sipping at it.
Like I'll be here for an hour.
It's actually delicious.
So you can judge me on drinking cold coffee like a freak.
No, see, that doesn't really bother me because if I've got a coffee sitting
there, I'll just keep drinking it too.
Yeah.
But the way that you just said that after six minutes, Bridget will go,
oh, did you hate it?
I am that person.
You are that person.
I hate it about myself because I'm so self-conscious.
So because we're working from home at the moment,
Torbs has been listening to our podcast while he's working.
He's like tapping away, doing stuff.
He's listening to the podcast.
Any laughs coming from Torbs?
No. It's all tapping away, doing stuff. He's listening to the podcast. Any laughs coming from Torbz? No.
It's all Alex Torbz.
So.
What's his name?
It's not Torbz.
He's not a paint dealership.
That's where I got that from.
Alex Torbz.
Torbz.
No laughs.
So I didn't even know that he was listening, right?
And then he turns around and he goes, oh, great episode, sweetie.
And I was like, what?
And he was like, that was so funny.
And I was like, were you listening to the podcast just now?
The Tony and Ryan podcast.
I couldn't hear any belly laughs.
Sorry, I couldn't see you on the floor laughing your ass off,
trying not to shit yourself because it's so funny.
And he was like, yeah, I was just listening.
I was like, oh, I didn't hear you laughing at all.
Yeah.
Like full on crazy.
Like instantly jumped into defensive mode and was like, oh, sorry,
well, I didn't hear you laughing so you must have been listening to my podcast.
And he was like, oh, this is why I don't like listening to things
while you're here because I don't really, he's not a laugher, he's a.
He can appreciate it without laughing out loud.
Person.
He doesn't laugh a lot.her. He's a. He can appreciate it without laughing out loud. Person. He doesn't laugh a lot.
Okay.
Which is fine.
But I flipped out and I was like, oh, we obviously weren't listening.
So it wasn't good enough.
I knew it wasn't good enough.
We shouldn't have posted that.
So like the coffee.
Don't doubt yourself.
Oh, thank you, mate.
And Bridget, don't doubt your coffee.
Don't doubt your coffee.
You're not a coffee bitch.
I know people who are the opposite of that.
What?
They can watch a comedy movie, laugh for two hours straight and go,
oh, that was pretty shit, and that riles me up.
That riles me up.
I'm like, a comedy's job is to make you smile and laugh,
and if you smile and laugh, don't tell me you didn't like it.
You've made your money back.
If you've had one laugh, if you laugh once during this podcast,
that's enough.
There's someone on TV who Bridget hates.
I'm not going to say who it is.
Okay, yeah.
Like a very common face in Australian television.
Yeah.
Bridget and I went to see him do stand-up.
She laughed the whole time.
And then like a few weeks later, she's like,
oh, I've never really liked that guy.
I'm like, we saw him live.
And she's like, no.
And because we met a guy who writes jokes for him
and then she went, oh, so he doesn't write his own stuff
and now she's just off him.
See, I told you she's a coffee bitch.
She's a comedy bitch as well.
Well, maybe I'm learning more about my wife on this podcast
than I have in the seven years that we've known each other.
Hi, Bridget, she listens every day.
All right, here we go.
Career quiz.
Okay.
People have poorly yet honestly described what they do
and you listening to this podcast and Tony,
your job is to guess what that job is.
So I'm playing on behalf of our friends that are listening.
Oh, just with everyone.
Yeah.
I help interrupt people's feelings and deal with their bodily fluids.
What job is this?
Well, when you said interrupt their feelings...
Oh, sorry.
I interpret people's feelings and deal with their bodily fluids.
Interpret and interrupt look similar.
They don't.
Nurse.
No.
I interpret people's feelings and deal with their bodily fluids.
Although some people could argue a nurse and this role has a lot of crossover
when you really think about it.
Okay, so a nurse or a doctor or a bartender.
Because if they listened to what I was saying and then I threw up,
they would have to deal with it.
Yep, I see that.
Kim, she, is a kindergarten teacher.
I interpret people's feelings
and deal with their bodily fluids.
I am not paying that. That is
not the main part of their job.
Are you telling Kim what her job is?
No. That's why I didn't think so. Okay, here we go.
No, well, she is
educating a nation
and a generation.
She's more than that.
Okay, I'll let Kim know.
Poorly explained job descriptions.
I deal with late arrivals and early departures.
Flight attendant.
Captain.
Flight pilot captain.
Renee is a receptionist.
And I don't know why, but when I read late arrivals and early departures, it made me think...
Babies.
A midwife.
Of a sex worker or something to do with the reproduction of things.
Oh.
Receptionist.
Nah, well, if it was the sex worker, it'd be the comings and goings.
And not the early departures.
Shit.
I just really rate my own gear.
You do.
I need to stop.
Maybe you should listen to this podcast when Torbs is working and just laugh in the background.
And just laugh in the background.
Paulie explained job descriptions.
Strangers call me and I come around and load them into a truck.
I then tire them down, poke them with things and drop them off at some place. Ambulance. Correct. You got it. Ambulance.
Correct.
You got it.
Ambulance.
Paramedic.
Yep.
That's a good one.
The Bible.
English teacher.
But there's a little crossover there. Yeah. Oh, fiction. English teacher. But there's a lot of crossover there.
Yeah.
Oh, but fiction.
So different.
See, we're spicy on this podcast.
You'll feel that tomorrow.
Should I edit that out?
High level of spice.
Well, it's too late now, obviously.
Yeah, this podcast goes out live.
This is my favourite one.
I think it's easy, but it's my favourite.
Okay.
I ask dogs to find people, then chauffeur those dogs around town.
Oh, my God.
A canine police officer.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
That's so good.
And it's so true.
They chauffeur dogs around town.
Where do you want to go today, Ralph?
You tell me.
Ralph the dog?
Yeah.
Ralph.
What do you call your dog?
Anything but Ralph? Ralph the dog? Yeah. Ralph. What do you call your dog? Anything but Ralph.
Ralph the dog.
You know the cat that keeps bothering me from next door that I'm allergic to?
Yeah.
I call it John.
Why?
Because I think it's just like a really funny name for a cat.
You know my name's Brian John, right?
Yeah, no, no, no.
But like it's, I actually didn't think about that, but...
What's a good name for an annoying pussy that fucks me off?
I'll call it John.
Poorly explained job descriptions.
Next question.
Midwife.
I ask people where it hurts and then send them to a photography session.
Then I look at the photos and tell them I don't know and wish them well.
A GP.
Yep.
Steve just said, I'm a doctor.
Yeah, general practitioner.
Yeah, GP.
That's exactly what a GP is.
He's like, no, you said GP.
And I'm like, it's actually a general practitioner.
Like, oh, that's what that stands for.
All right, last one.
And this is my favourite.
I think I said that earlier, but this is a really good one.
You said that about the dog one.
I put mildly dehydrated people into their underwear.
Then I put them in an enclosure with other mildly dehydrated people
also in their underwear.
Let me go again.
I put mildly dehydrated people in their underwear into enclosures with other mildly dehydrated people in their underwear into enclosures
with other mildly dehydrated people in their underwear.
Zookeeper.
No.
Mildly dehydrated in their underwear.
Into an enclosure with other mildly dehydrated only underwear.
Okay, why would you be dehydrated?
You've been in the sun.
You've been drinking?
A police officer running a drunk tank. A drunk tank?
Like overnight prison for drunk people.
Put that down in next week's podcast. I've got a story about the time I was arrested.
Oh, hooking you through? You got arrested? Yeah, you didn't know that?
No, you're so basic. I can't believe you got arrested.
How you can find a way to insult me
on one of the most vulnerable times of my life?
What were you arrested for?
Next Monday, guys.
Tune in.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
And we've got to talk about he's all that.
God, it's all happening.
Yeah, Monday show's full.
Woo.
Oh, my God.
Moderately dehydrated, thirsty, in the sun, in an enclosure.
Public swimming pool attendant.
No.
No.
You're dehydrated when you enter like a bodybuilding competition.
You're getting closer.
Oh, models.
Oh, a nightclub.
A bouncer.
No.
I'm going to tell you and you're going to hate yourself
because you're so there.
Bodybuilding was probably the closest.
Australian Idol.
I'm going to tell you.
What is it?
Carl, I put mildly dehydrated people into their underwear,
into enclosures with other mildly dehydrated people in their underwear.
Carl is a professional boxing administrator.
He creates boxing fights and boxing events.
Are you joking?
No, that's shit.
Why?
That's shit.
That's not that.
No, I don't like that one.
What?
That's not what that is.
That's not what that is.
Explain what is wrong with that one.
If you're an athlete, you're not dehydrated.
They have to make the weight.
That's, nah, I don't like that.
I got confused and I don't like it.
Okay.
What was worse, that job description or the T-Pain episode of This Is Pop on Netflix?
Well, I wouldn't know about that because I wouldn't watch it
because you've recommended it to me.
And we're back.
Thanks for listening to the show today.
Is that it?
Oh, we could do a You Love To See It.
Oh, yes.
But this has been quite long, so what do you reckon?
You know what I'm going to love to see?
What?
The back of Tony Lodge today.
Give me the shits.
Oh, mine's nice.
Go on.
It's not about you.
Go on.
My love to see it is that Aero is back.
How so?
So for ages, you've only been able to get mint Aero.
Yep.
And I don't like mint.
You don't like, yeah.
No, I don't like any mint.
Oh, now I'm self-conscious because I was.
Had a chewy in the car when we were together this morning.
I'm sorry.
That's all right.
I'm sorry.
That's all right.
Anyway, and you've only been able to get mint aero.
And now you can get.
The original's back.
The chocolate on the outside.
And it's like caramel on the inside.
I do love to see that.
You love to see that.
And it's very good.
I've got one similar at the local like Servo near my place.
Yeah.
They're probably everywhere.
You can get cherry.
Yeah, Servo, they're only near your house.
Yeah, they only sell them here.
Cherry ripe ice creams.
Ooh.
Because cherry ripe's like a little luxe because, you know,
that cherry rich flavour.
Yeah, but the dark
chocolate as well.
So it's a dark chocolate
on the outside
and then the inside's
like the red, dark.
Have you had the version
of that that's a crunchy
ice cream?
Oh, stop it.
Yeah, it's delicious.
Oh, touch me.
Stop it.
I'm just like,
close me down.
I'm drenched
from thinking about that.
Bye.
Bye. Bye.