Toni and Ryan - Sugar TARPer
Episode Date: March 21, 2024WARNING: A LOT OF MEDICAL CHAT IN TODAY'S EP! BBLs (not the cricket tho) and tips. Love ya! xo [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/Toniand...Ryan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge.
Yeah, g'day.
We are calling Amy, who's from right here in Melbourne, Australia.
I didn't even know that before I did the Aussie g'day.
She works in a government department. Is that just like you just don't ask any further questions
if someone says that?
Yeah, because that's vague.
Hello.
Hello, Amy.
It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing?
I'm good. How are you guys?
We're good, Amy. But do you work for ACO?
Yeah, are you a government spy?
Oh, no, I'm a very boring government officer, unfortunately.
I'm not one of the fun ones.
Oh, okay.
That's a real shame.
We thought maybe you were like me in black.
Yeah.
Oh, my God, I wish.
But even if I was, would I be allowed to tell you?
Well, that's what I thought.
When it just said government department, I was like,
that's vague enough to be sort of, you know,
or would you say an accountant?
Amy, blink once
if you're lying about being
a spy. It's a podcast.
We can't see. Yeah, we're not on FaceTime
right now. So you're still not breaking
any laws because you still haven't told us
because we can't see. That is true. Or can we await
the spies? Do we have a little camera set up in
your office and we're watching you right now?
Oh, my God.
We're auditing Amy to see.
Stop watching porn at your desk.
It's on the taxpayer dollar, so I'm very well behaved, I promise.
Okay, well, you're taking this phone call during work time.
No, no, no, no.
Yeah, true.
I believe it's pre-9.30 and is 9.30 when?
No.
I don't know.
I'm trying on my Amy.
I appreciate it. I appreciate it.
I need all the help I can get.
Amy, will you approve today's episode?
Absolutely.
Oh, that's what a spy would say.
Yeah.
Hey, it's Amy from Melbourne and I approve this podcast.
Alright, today a tarpa needs your help
and we're talking about butts.
A sugar tarpa.
A sugar tarpa.
And today is also a video show.
You can watch it on the Spotify app on your phone or on your smart TV.
Merry Friday.
Merry Friday.
I like that.
Let me read this comment that the tarpa's submitted.
Anonymous sugar tarpa.
Anonymous sugar tarpa.
IS2.
I'm seeing a guy who's kind of like a sugar daddy
and recently he offered to pay for me to get a Brazilian butt lift
the suggestion caught me off guard
and I'm left with two main thoughts
one is that now I'm suddenly insecure
because he's like here's how you should like fix your body
yeah
but on the other hand he must really like me
if he's willing to invest all this money in me because the BBL isn't cheap
and there's a lot of BBL.
How much is it?
Do you know how much it is?
I actually don't.
Can someone Google it?
Oh, sorry.
But BBL is also in Australia the big bash league for cricket.
Yeah, which I don't like too, shall we?
Yeah, Tony doesn't like it.
So she turns around and they've got the light up wickets on her.
Yeah, but then the anonymous tarpa keeps going,
yeah, so the thing with the BBL and I'm like.
Big Bash League, okay.
The price is 12 grand roughly.
12 grand.
Is that Australian?
US.
US.
So about a million Australian.
$15 million, yeah.
So I feel like with the B bbl not the big bash like but um what do you
like what do you actually because you know how when they say like oh you've got a boob job we
make an incision here and it like it's not just like they like put stuff in and what like how
does it you just grabbed your boobs and lifted them but the thing about the butt lift is it
doesn't actually lift anything it's just like the. It doesn't refer to like it's not actually lifting anything.
Basically it takes because I've done a lot of research.
You're like I've got to Google this.
So it doesn't like raise your butt up.
So that's what I thought it was.
But they pump it up like an air mattress and it just fucking.
But it looks like that because they take fat from other parts
of your body, usually like your waist.
So it's a two for one.
Yes, they suck it out of there and they pump that fat back
into the top of your butt.
Trigger warning because this is kind of gross.
We're going to keep talking about this.
So if you don't, yeah, just letting you know.
They take fat from other places that you don't want it
and put it into your butt.
Have you ever?
Yeah, I have. Have you ever put it in my butt. Have you ever? Yeah, I have.
Have you ever put it in my butt?
Yeah, yeah.
So when you talk about like taking the fat out,
it's like liposuction.
This is hell grim but like have you ever seen that done?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, we both know what we're talking about.
Let's not talk about it anymore.
But isn't it so different to what you imagined?
It's very aggressive.
And rough.
Yeah.
Rough.
Yeah.
Have you ever gone through like.
I watched like that show Botched or whatever.
No, I love that.
Is that those two guys who were in LA who were like fixing.
Well, yeah.
Like people get nasty plastic.
Nasty as in like it gets infected or it needs to be fixed up.
And they have to fix it or redo it and stuff.
Yeah, and like those kinds of shows and then they show the procedure.
What channel was that on?
Is it like on Seven, mate, or something?
It used to be like on really late on Channel 9, I think.
Yeah.
So it would be like if you got home from dinner but you'd left the TV
on for the dog, like that would be playing and you'd go,
fuck, sorry, mate.
Sorry you've been watching this.
Yeah, and if you're a good boy, that won't happen to you.
Oh, God.
Remember how Channel 7 didn't have the rights to the cricket?
So I'd settle in to watch the cricket and they would just do repeats
of Border Security.
Border Security, yeah.
I think something similar was the TV channel didn't have
the online rights.
So whenever I went to watch something else,
I ended up just having a botched.
Yeah, it was like two episodes back to back or something.
For two weeks, it feels like all Bridget and I did was watch botched
or Nip Tuck or any different variation of that.
Yeah, all those ones.
And you're right, it's fucking all over the place.
It's actually quite rough.
I think my thing with plastic surgery is like if you want it, go hard.
Like it's your body and you get to pick like what you want to do with it.
Like power to you, whoever fucking wants to get it.
But my immediate red flag of the question is that this person offered,
like if I said to you, Ryan, like I'm thinking
about getting my boobs done and then like it was a conversation
and then you went, oh, well, like I could give you the money for that.
Like if that's something that would make you feel more confident
or better about your body or whatever, like, oh, you know.
But like just out of nowhere being like, I could pay for a beer bill
if you want.
Like what a dick.
Yeah.
That's like a shitty fucking thing to say to someone.
Imagine if you rocked up and were like, hey, Ryan,
I'll pay for your dick enlargement.
Yeah. And you went, oh. were like, hey, Ryan, I'll pay for your dick enlargement. Yeah.
And you went, oh.
Is it?
Oh, okay.
And, like, didn't the tarpa say, I'm now feeling a bit insecure?
Absolutely you would.
Yeah.
And you're right.
She didn't ask for it.
Yeah.
Like, and so that's my, like, how did this conversation come up
and why did it end with this person unsolicited offer?
And, like, it's a surgery.
I'm guessing it's like pretty intense. Well, let me read a few of these comments because the tapas have come to the rescue. Summer says it's a really risky surgery with some pros, but lots of
cons. If it's not something you wanted to do beforehand, like if you were always thinking
about it and you're like, oh, what a good opportunity to not pay. Sure. Because if you
were never thinking about it beforehand, don't, don, what a good opportunity to not pay. Yeah. Sure, because if you were never thinking about it beforehand, don't.
Don't feel like you need to accept this for his happiness.
Exactly.
That's a great comment.
Who wrote that?
Summer.
Summer, thank you.
Sarah, unless it's something you really want, then absolutely no.
It's one of the highest risk surgeries and the recovery is awful.
The high, well, I guess you can't, wouldn't be able to sit down or anything.
I didn't even think about that.
Hannah said this is – I don't know if laughing is acceptable,
but I think of the realities of what I'm about to say.
Hannah, the recovery is long.
You're actually not allowed to sit on your butt for ten weeks.
Ten weeks?
Like what the fuck do you do for ten weeks?
What are you supposed to do?
What do you lay down front down?
So you're planking.
Remember that? Remember when planking was a big thing? Oh, to do? What do you lay down front down? So you're planking.
Remember that?
And when planking was a big thing.
Oh, what a great time for you, isn't it?
Yeah, I loved 2011.
Yeah.
But not sitting on your, I haven't gone.
So you couldn't go in a car?
You couldn't sit on a couch?
But you couldn't go in the car.
How would you get anywhere?
Skateboard?
You know how there's pros and cons with everything in life?
Yeah.
Imagine the steps. What? Well what well like you're always but you i don't think you'd be able to walk very much would
you because that's all your butt but if you can't sit and you can't stand then what are you doing
you're planking planking yeah you jacked yeah forearms or whatever the fuck planking does so
like i think if it was something that you really wanted to do
and you'd talk to somebody about it and you're like, nope,
like this, I understand the risks and this is what I want to do.
But someone else forcing that on you, that's fucking, that's not on.
That's fucked up.
That's not okay.
Kate has a great idea.
Oh, yep.
I would never condone this, but I think it's a great idea.
Okay.
It sounds like the same thing.
Kate says, tell the guy it's a great idea, I'd love to,
and ask for the money and then just fucking leg it.
Smart, Kate.
Very smart.
So, yeah, because you end up with 15 grand and you fuck off this dick
who wants you to get a surgery you've never talked about in your life.
Let me.
Can you imagine?
It's like if somebody said to you, like,
have you ever thought about getting your teeth done?
And you go, no.
So James is a fucking spat couple.
But you know what I mean?
Everyone's challenge for the weekend is to offer surgery to a friend.
No, no, no.
Before everyone comes, no, we're not doing that.
But like what a power move.
You have to be a specific kind of cockhead to say that to someone.
Like, oh, yeah, like if you.
I'd say the opposite.
Or if you said I'm going in for surgery, like to get, I don't know,
an ingrown toenail fucking taken care of or something.
They go, oh, to get your teeth done?
And you go, oh, no, it's actually like a medical procedure.
It's not selective or whatever the thing is.
What if someone you went to high school with, you run into them now
and they go, I just love that you've decided to age naturally
and you've kept those teeth.
I would go, how did you get in here?
In where?
Wherever they are.
They don't deserve to be.
They don't deserve to be anywhere near me. How did you get in here? I where? Wherever they are. They don't deserve to be. They don't deserve to be anywhere near me.
How did you get in here?
I'm in an Aldi.
Yeah.
Well, you wouldn't say Tony in an Aldi though.
She's better than that.
No, I'm not better than an Aldi.
I just don't trust it, I believe is what I said.
They're not the same.
No, I think like I just don't really.
But I actually also like fucking if you want to do it, do it.
But I don't think anyone should ever like force you to do it.
Let me read, or paraphrase rather, there's a lady named Angela Babsits.
Is that how we'd pronounce her last name?
Fuck, sorry, Angela.
Yeah, sorry, Angela, if that's not right.
She's on YouTube.
She's hot as.
She's on YouTube.
She's a YouTuber on YouTube.
Great place to do it.
She's a YouTuber on YouTube. Great place to do it. Yeah.
She's a YouTuber at Aldi. Hot girl, had a lot of work done in terms of like, this is what I do.
I'm fucking living my best life. Love it. And she goes, I've got a butt lift and just let me give you some insight. Yeah. Oh, so she's had it done. She's had it done. Right. Um, recovery brutal.
But then after a few months, it was going all well
and she was like, whacking her new butt.
Love it.
That was great.
Four months after surgery, she felt her butt cheek was bruised.
Like it felt like a bruise.
You know, that's that feeling of like you've been hit or something.
Yeah.
A few days later, that bruise had turned into a lump.
She says it looked and felt really painful
and it was like a golf ball was trying to poke through my skin.
Oh, my God.
A doctor said if she didn't go into ER right away,
the infection would poke through her skin like cauliflower,
like sort of like pushing through, and then she needed
to get it drained.
They put in a loop drain in her butt, which is like a piece of string that goes in one
hole and out of the other. And you have to like shuffle along. And apparently when they drain
the fluid, it's stank. Okay. All right. Yep. That's enough. Okay. It fucking stank. Stop her.
She had to do this a few times a day until her body rejected the loop drain
and pushed it out, creating a giant hole in the butt
where the loop string thing used to go.
So she goes back to the original place and she's like in extreme pain.
Take this out.
She's like, I don't know what's going on.
So she made a YouTube of like her experience with it.
She's just like to camera being like, here's what happened.
Wow.
Two years after seeing the wound specialist,
she still has to get regular steroid injections
and the scar looks like a dog has recently bitten her,
but it's like just always recently bitten, like two years.
It just always looks like she was just bitten by a dog.
So I guess what we're saying is, Tapa, proceed with court.
Just don't do it.
Take the money, though, for sure.
Yeah.
Yeah, wring that guy dry.
But, like, yeah, no, that just sounds, I mean,
if it's something that you really want to do, like, I guess, yeah,
do it with the knowledge of, like, what it could be.
But anything could go wrong.
Like.
Listen to you.
No, I'm just trying to, like, because I don't want it to also be like
shamey for people that want to do it because I think like live your best life.
But if you've never thought about doing it,
don't just do it because someone offered to pay for it.
Should we not sit on our butts for 10 weeks just like as a challenge?
No.
That sounds awful.
How about 10 minutes?
Still no.
Still no. Yeah yeah try six months
because i had that what of course your asshole story yeah do you want to tell your asshole story
well yeah i mean i had a do we want j James to tell his arsehole story? Give us the two sentence version
because it's fucking more grim than that.
Well, I had a Brazilian butt lift.
I can tell you haven't because you...
We can tell you haven't.
Flat arse, okay.
No, I had an issue
and then basically they had to put a seat in
which is kind of like what you described of a rubber band,
basically.
Also James told us this in his job interview.
Yeah.
And we still hired him.
We were eating as well.
We were eating chocolate with Charlie.
And so,
yeah,
it takes a long time.
So when you say you can't sit,
what does that like,
literally it hurts to sit.
So I was lucky that it actually happened during lockdown.
So I was one of the few people like this kind of worked for me because I.
Just walk it off.
So did you just lay on your front?
You just lay on your front the whole time?
I positioned a couch so that I could lay on it and I could work because
of using computer.
Yeah.
So yeah, I kind of got lucky and because no one else could do anything
because of lockdown. So. You didn't miss out on anything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, I kind of got lucky and because no one else could do anything because of lockdown.
So you didn't miss out on anything.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Shit.
Cost to be cool.
I guess.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's not for me.
It's not for me.
Hey, it's Amy from Melbourne and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
All the names are scrolling across the bottom of the thing
and it takes about 900 years to get through them all.
So if you haven't seen yours yet, it's coming.
For every tier of Patreon, our nine-year-old tapas,
exclusive and champions, all there. Taylor Lunsford, thank you so. For every tier of Patreon, our nine-year-old top is exclusive and champions all there.
Taylor Lunsford, thank you so much for being part of our Patreon.
Mick, love you, Mick.
Rebecca Soach, Jonathan Funk, and Remy Rivera,
thank you very much, guys, for being part of our Patreon.
Absolutely love to see it.
Love to see it.
Tony, how's your new life as a Hawks fan?
It's good.
I feel very proud.
Did you watch the boys last week?
Yep.
No, I didn't. Yeah. No, I didn't.
No, I didn't.
But I feel very loyal to the Hawks.
I've got a little Hawks jibber on my Crocs.
Yep.
Next week you're seeing them at the MCG from your box.
Seeing them at the MCG, which I'm very, very excited about.
I'll wear my Crocs in the box, I guess.
Crocs in the box.
You like Crocs in the box? Crocs in the box. Or is. Crocs in the box. You like Crocs in the box?
Crocs in the box.
Or is it like a not in those shoes kind of?
No, it says on the.
Or is it our box, our rules?
Yeah, it says on the thing like address code at like guest's discretion.
So you could have it as whatever.
What would you like?
Oh, we'll get to that, I guess.
Anyway, but so I'm feeling very loyal to my new team.
Yep.
And I think it's coming at a price.
So I've never done footy tipping before.
Have you not worked in an Australian business?
I have.
I feel like it's scandalous.
Every workplace has footy tipping.
No workplace has ever done it where I've worked where it's been like.
We worked together at kiss and huggy
yeah very enthusiastic about it so maybe I think I'm still in it maybe maybe it's just that like
they send the email and I go oh I don't really know what that is and I just didn't do it but
I've so I've never done it before never done it in a workplace is it big in other countries
I don't know but like isn't in America like fantasy football's a thing?
Yeah. So maybe they wouldn't tip on actual
games. Oh, there's that here as well,
but tipping's just like everyone can get involved because it's easy.
Yeah, well, so basically, if you don't know what
it is, it's like
every week, they've got
all the games lined up and who's versing who,
and you pick who you think's going to win,
and like, that's it. Every week
there's a winner who got the most tips right
and it all accumulates at the end of the year.
It's like just the – it's almost like a staff morale
because you come in on Monday, oh, bloody tones.
It's something to chat about.
You've got seven on the weekend, yeah.
Yeah, like it's a – you know, it's quite cool.
Have you found yourself – I don't know if you watch much
but whoever I tip, suddenly I barrack for them
because you're barracking for your tips.
Well, yeah, because you like want to – it's the pride of wanting to win yeah exactly and so we have the the footy on since starting so
hang on the tipping competition i've been roped into is with the mckinley's so a family tipping
yes i'm part of the mckinley family tipping so my friend jane her family um and like they're great
we've spent christmas with them and we've been to the footy
with them and stuff and it's really good.
We're in like a big group chat.
There's 10 of us in this tipping family group chat.
Yep.
And in the competition.
But like I'm kind of just like making it up and because in the way you go
to put your tips in, it has like down the middle and it's like blah
versus blah and then it's got like tipsters choice,
like who have most people picked.
And so you can kind of like make like a bit of like an educated guess.
But I'm just kind of like making it up.
Well, there's like this stereotype that it's always like in the final round it's down to two and it's the guy that's really into footy
and then there's the girl who's like never watched a game and just goes,
oh, I don't know, I like their colours.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they're also killing it.
Yeah.
But so whenever I like start something,
I just expect that I'm going to be like a prodigy at it.
Yes.
Like I literally, I'm just like I've never tried that before.
Imagine if I'm the next big thing in that thing.
Which events are you competing in at the Olympics this year?
Swimming.
Swimming?
Yeah.
You reckon you could do swimming in the Olympics?
I've said this before and I back it in.
Back in the day, maybe not today.
What stroke and distance?
I'm a swimming mastermind.
Anyway, no, so I'm in this tipping thing with Jane's family.
And like I said, we've spent Christmas with them
and like we're in this group chat already.
Yeah.
And Jane's brother, AB, he's super into footy.
Well, their whole family is that real sporty family.
And he goes, I'm setting up a footy tipping for our group chat
and everyone send me $10 and at the end of the year we'll like.
Is that winner takes all?
Yeah, winner takes all.
Is there a queue whoever comes last gets their $10 back?
Sometimes that's nice.
There might be, yeah.
But anyway, so there's $10 each.
What's that?
$100.
Mate, you are an economist.
Supply and demand, baby.
Anyway, so I get along with her family awesome.
And like Torbs
and I joined the footy tipping.
And anyway, AB's girlfriend, Georgia, is fucking smashing us.
Really?
She is.
She hasn't gotten one wrong yet.
Like she's got a perfect game so far.
Fuck righto.
And a very close second is Torbs.
Really?
So two ring-ins because I consider myself in this situation.
You're in someone else's family tiffing and you're saying
you're not a ring-in.
But like in this situation, I'm more of a McKinlay than Torbs.
I think that's fair.
Neither of you are McKinlays.
No, no, no.
But I think it's fair to say I'm more of a McKinlay than Torbs. I think that's fair. Neither of you are McKinlays. No, no, no. But I think it's fair to say I'm more of a McKinlay.
So out of every couple, if there's one ring in,
Torbs is like my plus one.
Do you know what I mean?
And that's okay.
That's okay to say.
But Georgia.
Has there ever been an instance where you've been Torbs' plus one
or the main character's not?
With his family.
With his family, I'm the plus one.
Okay.
That's okay.
That's surprising for you to admit that.
Oh, I don't mind being the plus one for his family.
But anyway, so we got Georgia and Torbs smashing the rest of us.
And I messaged a group chat the other day and I said,
elephant in the room, guys, Georgia's obviously cheating.
Something's amiss here.
Well, she's called Daya Fowl and said,
I've actually took Brisbane to lose, so if you can do the rest.
So if you can make that happen.
Anyway, but, like, there's something that's killing me
because, like, after I found out that I wasn't a tipping prodigy,
like, I followed.
Does this happen most times when you decide you're going to be a prodigy
and then you do it once and realise you're not?
Except I'm still doing the tipping because it's quite easy,
but I'm just, like, not that good at it.
But it's still fun and I like watching the footy after I've tipped
and you feel like, yeah, you're kind of in it.
But anyway, I followed the tipster's choice last week because I was like,
look, I can't afford to like keep sucking dick.
Like I really need to like win some points back.
And I go down and I pick the tipster's choice for all of them.
Like 89% reckon that blah will win.
You know,
I feel like that's sort of cheating.
I think it's just like the data of like who everyone's.
I mean,
yeah,
but it still feels like it's cheating,
but if you know nothing and then someone goes,
well,
98% of people said this,
then that's like,
well,
yeah,
that's a good point because that's what I'm doing.
But so last week I'm going down the list and I'm going like, yep,
I'm going with the one who's like the larger percentage.
And I scroll down to the Hawthorne game.
Our Hawks.
Our Hawks, the family club.
Yep.
And they weren't the choice.
No.
And they won't be any week all year because we suck.
Okay.
Well, so here's the thing.
Yeah. I felt compelled to tip all year because we suck. Okay. Well, so here's the thing. Yeah.
I felt compelled to tip for them because they're my club.
They are.
And so I go, okay, well, of course I'm going to pick the Hawks.
Like, it doesn't matter that our Hawkeys aren't bloody tipped to win.
I'm going to, of course, like, solidarity.
Like, that's my family out there.
Luke Bruce, he's going to fucking smash it for me.
Yeah.
And I've got to back him 100%.
Yeah.
So then I picked them, then they didn't win.
Well, if Luke Bruce had kicked a bit straighter,
we probably would have just saying.
Well, Luke's a good friend of mine, mate,
so I won't actually take you saying that.
Yeah.
But I just feel like with the footy tipping, I'm new to this.
You might have some insight.
Do you have to tip your team if they're not going to win?
Can you say that out loud for the record?
Do you have to tip your team if they're not going to win?
Like is it, you know, is it the love and the support
or is it wanting to win $100, you know?
$100.
Well, $100 is $100.
That's pretty good.
Never forget that.
Do you know what I mean?
But here's the things you've got to keep in mind.
Okay, because I'm new to this, so I need to hear from an OG.
When you say if you know they're going to lose,
like the thing about tipping is you're not playing the game.
Like there's other – when you say she's a prodigy, I'm no good at it.
Like sometimes teams lose and they're not supposed to win
and like sometimes you can get things wrong.
We need to allow for this.
Second of all, if you're a true fan, you'll know that they're going to win.
Well, see, this is the, I was like, they're going to,
this is where the prodigy part comes in,
that I tip against what everyone else says and then they come through.
But then what I did last week was I just tipped with the majority
and I still fucking sucked ass yeah so i don't think that the fucking percentages mean anything really
however there's a few upsets on the weekend just then when you just said oh not everyone knows
who's gonna win if we rewind to about five minutes ago you said they're never gonna win
well that's just hawthorn shit but oh they're never going to win. Well, that's just Hawthorne shit. But they're never going to be the most predicted,
like to win on this thing.
Yeah, right.
So they're unpredictable because you never know when they're going
to like come from behind and fucking take it.
But here's the thing about being a biased, one-eyed, stupid supporter.
Ah.
Is that even though we suck and we're coming up the best team.
Thanks for saying we because I feel included.
Because of our passion passion i sit there going
oh but you can win by a point yeah oh but if if he gets going and that other guy from the other
team he doesn't have a great day and i reckon we you know and you start kind of trying to convince
yourself i think that's called gaslighting yeah so you gaslight yourself but even in a shit team
you the players in the team will go
out thinking they're going to win.
Oh, totally.
I think I'm going to win every day.
And then about five minutes into the first quarter you go,
oh, maybe that's not going to work.
No, no, no, no, no.
But you've still got to stay to the end.
It's like when we said about the pipe and punches.
Yeah, you've got to stay there.
You've got to stay there.
You can't get out because the car park's going to get busy.
You've got to stay the whole time.
Let me propose a situation to you.
You tip against the Hawks and they win.
Oh, and wouldn't I be devastated that I didn't trust them?
There is no worse feeling in the world.
I would rather tip Hawthorne every week and then lose every week.
I'll cop that.
Yeah.
But if I tip against them and they win.
Because I don't want to tip against them just to look cool
and win $100.
Well, it sounds like that's what you want to do.
No, no, no.
It sounds like you're asking permission to do that.
No, I'm saying I'm at a-
To quote Tony Lodge, $100 is $100.
I'm saying I'm at a crossroads and I don't know the etiquette
of following, you know, true blood style of a football club,
which I am now doing.
Sorry, I've been distracted.
Is Crossroads the movie with Britney Spears?
It is, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a really good movie. Is she a Hawks girl? Yeah, I reckon now doing. Sorry, I've been distracted. Is Crossroads the movie with Britney Spears? It is. Yeah. Yeah.
It's a really good movie. Is she a Hawks girl?
Yeah, I reckon.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But the thing is, is that I'm at a crossroads of like, what's the right thing to do?
And does everybody tip their team because you go, oh, well, they're my team.
They're going to win.
All right.
Imagine this.
You tip against Hawthorne and then you're watching the game,
who are you barracking for?
Oh, I'm barracking for Hawthorne 100%.
So you're barracking against your tip.
See how then you're like, you're Natalie Imbruglia all of a sudden.
Yeah.
Gets close at the end and then you go, oh, but if we lose,
at least I've got my tip right.
Because you go, I'm a winner either way.
Yeah, and that feels dirty.
Well, you're also a loser either way.
It feels dirty, doesn't it?
I just said dirty.
You dirty, doughty dog.
Dirty dog.
You doughty dog. Dirty dog.
You doughty dog.
Yeah, okay.
All right.
I actually just got to go because I got to change my tips.
To Hawthorne.
We're playing Melbourne tomorrow who are pretty good.
I'll leave it.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
They're my team.
They're my hookies and I'll bloody tip them, back them. Well, next Thursday or right before the Easter round,
before we go to the football, we'll revisit this.
I can't wait to go to the football concert.
I'm so excited.
Don't say football concert.
Don't say football concert.
I'm very excited.
Are you going to embarrass me in front of Hawks people?
No.
She's nodding.
For those listening, she's nodding.
Guys, I got to go love to see it amazing uh thanks to daniel and also keisha for bringing this to my attention multiple people have tagged
me in this oh great i love it when heaps people tag you in something that you like and you go
you know me this is a you know me energy yep mcdonald's in the UK have brought out something. Have you seen this?
I think I have, yeah.
We all know that hot cross buns fucking rule.
They rule.
Hot cross buns rule.
Tony?
Oh.
That can fuck me in the ass.
Hot cross bun pie.
So you know how McDonald's do the apple pie, the deep fried pie? This is a hot cross bun pie. So you know how McDonald's do the apple pie, the deep fried pie.
This is a hot cross bun pie.
Let me read out the, fuck, them putting the calories on it fucking is a bit of a fucking
That really takes it away from me, doesn't it?
The description, sorry, I forgot the fucking word.
Crispy cinnamon, hang on, let me.
Crispy cinnamon pastry filled with a spiced fruit mix
and butter flavour cream filling.
Fuck me.
Doesn't that get you horned up?
I've got something else for you, Lodge.
Oh.
Hang on.
Spoiler me, two things.
They're also doing a hot.
Hang on, did you say this is only in the UK?
Yeah, but we.
So we won't get this?
Business trip.
Would we fly to the UK for this?
I'm thinking about it.
That's insane.
Actually, would McCafe send us to the UK to have this?
Tag them.
Come on, everyone.
That... We know, but... to the UK to have this. Tag them. Come on, everyone. That.
We know McCafe.
No.
Very well.
Daily, in fact.
Yeah.
We never drink coffee anywhere else.
Yeah, we're fans, big fans.
I asked them to put my water in this.
You went to the McCafe to ask them to fill your drink bottle with water.
With water.
First of all.
That's amazing.
Yes.
Yeah, the Hot Cross Bun Latte.
It's a complimentary product.
Free?
No, like it compliments the other.
Oh.
You go there and they go.
I realise how I said that will make it sound like it's free.
Like when you go to a hotel and like the toothbrush is complimentary,
you don't walk in there and the toothbrush goes, hey, good looking.
Like it doesn't feel like that.
Also, sorry, I've spent the last two minutes trying to copy
and paste this picture.
Yeah, I don't know what's going on.
So I've got a picture of the hot cross bun and a picture of the coffee and then I'm like
every time I press paste it's
keep pasting the hot cross bun.
Well, you know what?
That looks amazing. It's on the screen if you're watching.
And I think that we need to get in touch with
McCafe about this. When's Easter?
Oh no. It's only a week away.
What are you doing next week?
I've got an exam on Monday.
I've got to do my tips, that's for sure.
That'll take me a bit of time.
You can do them in the lounge.
Do them in the lounge?
After my exam, if we went straight away.
A bit of a brainstorm, I think, is required on this
because that is amazing.
Okay.
I've got to your love to see it, though, to wrap us up for the week.
And this is a good one for you, Ryan.
It's a hot cross bun related.
It isn't, unfortunately, but I think you'll really,
really like this for you, Ryan,
and all the parents that are listening and watching.
Okay.
This one's from Bronwyn Hunter.
Bronwyn says,
I've seen this.
After almost three years.
Sorry, I'll wait for her to say the thing.
Yeah.
And I'll also think of another you'll have to see it for me for Monday.
After almost three years, my son has officially finally slept
through the night.
Oh, you don't like that?
I'm fucking talking.
Shut up.
Has finally slept through the night, 8pm till 5am, no wake-ups,
in his own bed the last three nights.
You bloody love to see it and now you can clap.
Thank you.
That's amazing.
Thank you.
Oh, we've got all of our team here except for me have kids.
So I'm like watching everyone's face like, oh, that'd be good, wouldn't it?
But, yeah, I thought Bronwyn, you love to see that.
And thank you for sharing that with us.
That's a real parenting win.
I fucking love that.
It's a huge parenting win.
Good on you.
Enjoy them sleeps. And do you reckon that bronwyn's just feeling like
a billion dollars at the moment like three full nights of sleep but god that's like worth its
weight in gold i don't know if other parents are going through this but like i think back to pre
kids when i was getting a full night's sleep and like why was I not running multiple marathons every day?
And like, how was I just so, like life was so easy back then.
How many marathons do you run today?
Cool.
Okay.
Well, good areas.
But good on you for not fixing those teeth.
Well, we're back on Monday.
How is your running going?
I don't know.
Actually, though.
No, I don't feel like I want to talk about anything now
because I did have a full night's sleep.
Yeah, but you're the muscles of this podcast.
So you get a full night's sleep and you carry this show.
You carry this community.
You're a doctor and a best-selling doctor-author.
Yeah, I've got too much on.
Yeah.
We'll be back on Monday.
Have a great weekend.
Thank you for watching, for listening, wherever you are,
but we'll see you Monday.
We'll chat to you Monday live from the UK.
No, no. Love you Monday live from the UK. No, no.
Live from the UK.
Or do you reckon they could fly?
Where's halfway?
A hot cross run over.
They could meet them in Dubai.
No, could they just ship one over?
I'll eat it cold, pop it in the microwave.
I was going to say it'd probably be cold.
Air fryer?
Yeah, that'd be good.
In the air fryer would be good.
Hang on.
Let's skip the middleman.
Can a tarpon just go and get one and send it
to us? Pop it in the FedEx.
What's the fastest
you could post something from the UK to Melbourne?
Two or three days?
Maybe. I think you can do overnight.
Overnight? Well,
24 hours, like the full flight time.
With the latte, would you
be able to put it in a cup
or would you have to just pour it into an envelope?
That's a good point.
What about a bag, a Ziploc bag?
Yes.
And then we poke a straw in the bag like a Capri Sun.
If you're listening from the UK.
Yeah, this is a live brainstorm.
Maybe we can have a further brainstorming today's episode thread.
Yeah.
We'll figure something out. Take your ideas.
Maybe there's a flight attendant that's doing
a London to Melbourne that could
pop it in her handbag or in her
backpack or something. Can we make our own?
Because I'm assuming if we put a
hot cross bun and some warm
milk into a blender.
Into my Nutribullet.
Is that not what they're doing?
Do you know what we could do?
Just eat a hot cross bun.
Yeah, none of this? Yeah.
I mean, it's a live brainstorm.
We could do all that. Yeah, but we wouldn't get the points.
Yeah, the point is it is a good
point.
Alright, goodbye. See you later. Love you, bye.