Toni and Ryan - Supermarket Crime Syndicate

Episode Date: May 1, 2024

Normal or Nah, and the best gift to get Ryan. Love ya!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan....jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, bestselling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge. And we are calling Greens Fork, Indiana. Hello. Hello, Missy.
Starting point is 00:00:24 Hi. Oh my God. is it Missy Elliot? No, it's Missy Higgins. Oh, Australia's songbird. Hi, Missy, how are you going? Oh, great. I don't know about songbird or Australia, but I'm good. But Missy, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell us about Greens Fork, Indiana. Yeah, what's it like where you are? Is it beautiful? Well, you're going to, yeah, yeah. Tell us about Greens Fork, Indiana. Yeah, what's it like where you are? Is it beautiful? Well, you're going to love this, Tony. I'm in the country.
Starting point is 00:00:50 Me too. You guys understand. Couple of country girls. Understand each other. Yeah. I know. Now, is your small country town also located within the inner suburbs of a major metropolitan city? No.
Starting point is 00:01:01 No, okay. So I don't really get it. It's just a different sort of country town. Oh, Missy, well, would you mind approving today's episode? Absolutely, I'd love to. Couple of country girls. Hi, it's Missy from Greens Fork, Indiana, and I approve this podcast. all right coming up today i've got a red hot recommendation as a gift to you know how it's hard to give a gift just cash is fine
Starting point is 00:01:41 no no no no this is a great gift to give. And sometimes thinking of a gift is hard, but this is a fucking bang on. Would you say that this is along the lines of that, like what to give a friend who has everything? Yes, actually yes. Do you know when people say that, but you're like, oh, but they don't need a trinket in the shape of a dolphin? Or they've had a baby or they've got a busy job or it's their birthday or Christmas.
Starting point is 00:02:05 I think everyone will go, that's a great fucking gift. I wonder if people listen to that and they're like, I've got all of those things. Like they've just had a baby. They've got a busy job. Like think of how the people that would have really come home for. Send them this episode and then they'll know what to get you. Or buy them the thing that we're going to talk about.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Instead of sending them the episode, buy them this thing. Oh, no. I meant like if you want it, send them the episode, then they buy it for you. Instead of sending them the episode, buy them this thing. Oh, no, I meant like if you want to send them the episode, then they buy it for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm 100%. Sorry. I've just had a baby. I've got a stressful job. Great. I'll buy the gift for my friend. I'll buy this for myself. Yeah, no, I see what you mean.
Starting point is 00:02:36 Sorry, sorry, sorry. Is it Monday? No. No, fuck. Fuck. Alright, Thursday, normal or nah, thanks for submitting these in the Tony and Ryan podcast Facebook group. It's an absolute pleasure to see your names pop up. Fuck. Sorry. All right, Thursday, normal or nah? Thanks for submitting these in the Tony and Ryan podcast Facebook group. It's an absolute pleasure to see your names pop up. Elliot has a normal or nah? Elliot.
Starting point is 00:02:51 What did I say? Elliot. Yep. Entering the grocery store through the checkouts, normal or nah? Asked Elliot. I always feel like I'm breaking the law. You are. I feel like I'm stealing in yeah like you know
Starting point is 00:03:06 when you walk through out that way have you ever been to it sorry this is a little bit fucking rogue but have you ever been to a supermarket and not bought something you feel like a criminal don't you feel like the biggest fucking crime syndicate this side of Melbourne? And you have to walk through. You have to walk through and you kind of go, oh, no. Nothing for me today. Oh, oh, oh, check my pockets.
Starting point is 00:03:32 And you kind of go like, who goes into a supermarket and doesn't buy something? Just looking, thanks. Yeah, just browsing. Don't need anything today. But it's normally because you're looking for something very specific. They don't have it.
Starting point is 00:03:44 You go, I've got to go to the Coles down the road but you walk out you're like but do you ever go for a glance i'll just see what the specials are today no what yeah do that online you fucking freak what are you talking about so when i put it so when i window shopping at the Coles. Yeah. So when I put a script in at Chemist Warehouse, they go, oh, that'll be 10 or 15 minutes. And I go, well, just grab it off the shelf for starters. Why don't you just get it? What are they doing back there?
Starting point is 00:04:15 They're fucking jacking it. Same. I reckon that they take your script and they have a little mask and they go, right here. And I go, I can actually see it on the shelf behind you. And I can see you jerking off and they go, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. So then I wander out of the mask and they go, right. Yeah. And I go, I can actually see it on the shelf behind you. And I can see you jerking off. And they go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So then I wander out of the chemist and go,
Starting point is 00:04:30 I'll see what's going on at Coles for 10 minutes. No, you're doing it all wrong. How should I be doing it? You don't go to Coles for 10 minutes. You stay in the chemist warehouse, spend all your money on fancy face things. Oh, my mistake. That's what you got to do.
Starting point is 00:04:43 You walk out of there with a fancy face things oh my mistake that's what you gotta do you walk out of there with a fancy face thing a foot scrubber uh you know some supplements you're never gonna take that cost you 40 dollars can i that's what you gotta do can i fucking send you on another spin the other day i went to the bakery and got some bread and a couple of croissants yeah i might have even already been to the chemist and got some stuff like like just some like Panadol or whatever. You were just doing your rounds. Yeah, but then I went to Coles and had to take that stuff in. I got this from the chemist's warehouse.
Starting point is 00:05:14 This bread's not available here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is artisan. I bought this from Kmart yesterday. It's our day. Do you remember when I went into Kmart and I had my book in my bag? And I was like, I didn't steal this book. It's mine.
Starting point is 00:05:29 Well, it's mine, but it's not mine. I bought this from home. I bought this book from home. It's got my face on it. I didn't steal it from here. And the security guard was like, is she just looking for an excuse to mention she's got a book? There's actually no security guard there.
Starting point is 00:05:42 I'm just yelling into the void. At the scanner? Yes. Where the greeter's supposed to be. There's actually no security guard there. I'm just yelling into the void. At the scanner? Yes. Where the greet is supposed to be, they're on lunch. I'm like, just letting everyone know. Elliot said he's a stickler for the rules. Yeah. Which I thought you would be like 100%,
Starting point is 00:06:00 but it seems like you've walked in and out. Well, when you have to walk through the checkouts, it's normally because like, you know, when sometimes they're refilling the trolleys. Oh, just get out of the way. And they're in the way and you kind of go, oh, just like wander up here. But you do, I always feel like, oh, like this is the only way in. And they're like, I don't give a fuck.
Starting point is 00:06:18 They just never care. Yeah, they're 16. They're just working. Yeah, they're just doing their bit. Elliot said it terrifies me. There's entries for a reason. Yeah, no, I do agree with that. Why isn't there exits, though, for the people that aren't buying anything?
Starting point is 00:06:33 Because the thing is, you just have to keep walking in a circle until you're bankrupt. It's a shakedown. Maybe you just next time, you buy a little Kinder Surprise. Yeah. Because that's probably one of the cheaper things in the shops. Definitely not. Kinder Surprises are really expensive.
Starting point is 00:06:47 Now, fucking inflation. You know, the prices have gone up. The egg size, down. Shrinkflation. Yeah. Speaking of shrinkflation, you can buy a packet of chips and you open it and there's like a chip. Do you know what's good value for money though? Pringles.
Starting point is 00:07:02 Always full to the top. Blasphemous. No. Fake news. What? No. I haven't bought Pringles, always full to the top. Blasphemous. No, fake news. What? No. I haven't bought Pringles in a while. And it shows. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:07:16 You're looking good. Have you not bought Pringles in a while? Someone's not had Pringles in a bit. Yeah, my fucking hand fits all the way in now. My hand fits in a Pringles container. It just can't get back out. Remember that time I was trying to drive my car with a Pringles container on it and slide in all over the place?
Starting point is 00:07:33 Yeah, it was in 1997. Zara asks, normal or nah? Hi, Zara, nah. Normal or Zara, nah? Carpet in the bathroom. A lady I work with, says Z Zara just got her whole bathroom carpeted so she wouldn't need a bath mat and wouldn't ever get cold feet. Mold?
Starting point is 00:07:59 Absolutely. Mold? Yeah. Some people with more dollars than cents say, you can afford to renovate your bathroom, but not to Google whether you should have a carpet in your bathroom. Also, hang on. What self-respecting tradie or carpet layer has gone,
Starting point is 00:08:15 I will do this for you? Any self-respecting tradie will take the cash. And I actually believe we've got tradie chat coming up on the podcast in the next few days. Tony doesn't get tradie chat. I don't. I don't get it. Because a tradie, you tell them what to do and they go, done.
Starting point is 00:08:31 They don't give editorials or opinions. You say lay the carpet. They say, fuck yeah. They go, okay. They say, how high? They'll get home that night and go, hey, love, you'll never guess what this fuckhead asked me to do today. Yeah, but we're getting a new flat screen TV.
Starting point is 00:08:46 Exactly. Yeah, so the thing about a bath mat is that after a while you wash it. Yeah, because they get nankies underneath. Also. Imagine walking into a room that's got wet carpet. I also like kind of like the refreshing nature of stepping onto a cold bathroom in the shower, a cold floor, like when you get out of the shower or whatever. It's quite nice.
Starting point is 00:09:10 What about when you need to pee in the middle of the night on a cold winter's night and you walk with your bare feet on the tiles? That doesn't really bother me. Really? No. I mean, we've got floorboards in our room. It is nice. Thanks for asking.
Starting point is 00:09:25 So they're not like that warm anyway. But I stayed in an Airbnb once. Let me tell you, we went halves with another couple. It like was not just us. It was fucking ritzy. And they had underfloor bathroom heating. Hated it. Made me feel like I was walking on a hair straightener.
Starting point is 00:09:43 Yeah, and that's not recommended. But also, yeah, I think just for a second, if you will, imagine actually walking on a hair straightener. That would hurt so much. Yeah. Yeah, so it wasn't like that, was it? No, it wasn't like that. Although I will give you.
Starting point is 00:09:59 It was uncomfortable. I didn't like it. When I was at the snow, there was like these like courtesy cars that took you from like one place to the other. I've just said that I've got floorboards in my room and then Ryan gets to drop casually when I was at the snow. Well, it snows in some places. When I was at the snow.
Starting point is 00:10:15 And someone had heated seats. In their car. In their car. Yeah. That just feels like you've pissed yourself. When it's really cold, though, it isn't. I have heated seats in my house. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Well, it's not in the snow, okay? But, yeah. It could be in four hours. Actually, I took Producer Sophie and I together in my car the other day, and it was really, really cold outside, and we did crank those, and that was a bit all right. Did it feel like you pissed yourself, though? Yeah, but we were together. So it was okay.
Starting point is 00:10:45 Okay, no mistake. Finally today, the little woot, he just has three words for his normal or nah. Oh. Stringless tea bags. Stringless tea bags? So it doesn't have a jingle or string. It's just the bag. So it's just a ravioli.
Starting point is 00:11:03 A ravioli of tea. Some people have that. Then how do you get it out well you that they don't they just put it in and then they just like sip it nah nah you can't leave the bag in because then it gets bitter isn't it well i guess it depends what kind of tea usually when it's a stringless one it's's like a flavor or a light herbal. Oh. Have you seen those real fancy teabags? Stringed, unfortunately. I'm so sorry. Well, it's obviously not fancy then.
Starting point is 00:11:32 Two strings. Oh, and they. And the tag rips in half and you pull it apart and it squeezes the teabag out. That's fucking 3024 shit. Yeah. You're living in the future. That's literally the future. I will. No. You're living in the future. That's literally the future. I will.
Starting point is 00:11:46 No. What? Okay. What I will say is they're worth getting excited about because they're great. What a great invention. But don't get too excited because often you can like pull them apart with too much enthusiasm and you just pull the bag and it just like, and then all the grimy. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:05 Yeah. So there's a middle ground. Oh. Get excited. But not too excited. Thank you. Hi, it's Missy from Greenspork, Indiana, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Heaps of exclusive stuff in there. We're actually doing a live stream on Monday morning for champion tapas. Yep, coming over. A few of the people that I hope will be there. Becca Kavanagh, thank you so much, Becca. Thanks, Bec. Crystal Elliott, Bridget Thank you so much, Becca. Thanks, Beck. Crystal Elliott, Bridget Brebner, Chelsea White, and Victoria Burrow. Thanks, Burrow.
Starting point is 00:12:51 For those of you that can't see, Tony is digging away, burrowing, if you will. Burrowing like a little marsupial. Don't bring that word back. Marsupial? Yeah, it triggered a few people a few weeks ago. Why? Because I don't really know what that means.
Starting point is 00:13:06 When did you say marsupial? I've told you specifically not to. Marsupial, marsupial, marsupial. I've got a recommendation if you want to give someone a gift. Mate, I just, I think that we know each other well. Sometimes your recommendations. You apparently don't know me that well. Sometimes your recommendations are poo-poos.
Starting point is 00:13:25 AKA Tomcats. I'll put my hand up when I've done it. That's too fresh. If I can't say marsupial, you can't bring up Tomcats. You got yourself a deal. If you know someone who's had a baby, 100%. If they've got a busy job, this is a great gift. And if someone got this for me for my birthday or my Christmas gift
Starting point is 00:13:45 Is it fucking speech pathology? My Christmas gift. I would appreciate it. It's a robot. I know some people I know some people might not like that as a birthday present. I would love it as a birthday present. I feel like you would appreciate
Starting point is 00:14:02 this. What is it? Get someone a house cleaner to do a one-off big top-to-bottom juicy clean. That is, I mean, yes, it's a good idea. It's a great gift to give. But that's a very expensive gift, isn't it? Usually, like, maybe a couple hundred bucks. Maybe go in halves. Like, say if someone has a kid, go like maybe a couple hundred bucks maybe going halves with this like
Starting point is 00:14:25 if say if someone has a kid yeah go on with a couple of friends all chip in oh yeah because it's just one of those things that you just never quite get around to and you know when when i say a proper juicy one yeah i'm like get into the oven get into the lights dust all that shit that you never dust the bathroom but really get in there the exhaust fan and like the range hood and stuff. What does the range hood do? It costs you money. Yeah. Okay. Big range. Yeah. Range of costs. I had a, in my
Starting point is 00:14:53 dodgy apartment in Bunbury, we had a range hood and I once broke it and I looked to where the exhaust went and it didn't, it just went into the cupboard above it where I kept the cutlery. Not the cutlery, the cups. Why are you keeping the cutlery the cups fucking cupboard you fucking serial killer cups not cutlery also this apartment was very small and it was sort of like when it came to storage it was like just do your best yeah yeah all for one but it like just went up into the cupboard above it it didn't go
Starting point is 00:15:21 into like an exhaust and out it It just went up into the thing. Great. It's like they've gone, oh, we're supposed to put an exhaust on. He goes, just stick like a photo of a fan on the front of that cupboard. And I reckon he won't notice for a while. And he didn't. And to be fair. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:35 They got away with it for a while. I've never had a cleaner come to our house. Like the only time we've ever had a cleaner is like when we've moved out of a rental and you do like the big bond clean. This is like my thing. It's like, why do we wait till we move out? Because it costs you money to not do that. Yeah, but like, why don't we clean it and appreciate how good it is? Okay, here's a question for you.
Starting point is 00:15:55 Okay, question. Do you, when like there's heaps of stuff on the kitchen bench and there's stuff everywhere, does that kind of add to a bit of anxiousness? It does. Cluttered bench, cluttered mind. So Bridget has never said those words because that's very poetic and beautiful. But if she's like going to go to bed and she looks at the bench and she goes, oh, do you mind tidying up?
Starting point is 00:16:13 And I go, yeah. And she goes, can you do it now? Because if I go to bed and just know this. I'll just be thinking about it. Yeah. And so I think the gift of the cleaner is a great gift. So anyway, a few weeks ago when I was doing my exam, I was doing lots of study and you know this,
Starting point is 00:16:31 to like take some days off work to like just like hit the books. And so she was doing even more of the parenting and even more of the household than normal, which is like already heaps. Yeah, huge house. And so I was like let's. Such a big house. It takes a lot.
Starting point is 00:16:45 And the butler was on holidays. Just because he has a pantry doesn't mean he exists. So I was like, let's get it clean and just do one big top to bottom. And what a, just another thing we don't need to worry about. Off your mind. Yeah, totally. I think as well, when you've got a baby, you're studying for an exam. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:00 And then the opposite of like, we got home and there's a clean house and it's just that oh it's just like it's the mental load it's like fresh sheets it's thinking about it i think more than anything so i speak i you know literally google a house cleaner suburb blah blah blah find this place call up and the guy goes oh yep sounds like about three or four hours we charge by the hour all good and i went yeah and he goes yeah on the day we'll figure it out because you know it's because it's hard to know exactly until we've been to the house how long it's going to take yeah and you go the fourth wing is huge they only did the central wing um by the time the guy that runs the cleaning company has told
Starting point is 00:17:39 the area manager and the area managers told the actual people who clean it because i assumed it was just like the guy was the cleaner but it's like a company and they you know they farm it out and like everyone's getting a kickback and stuff subcontractor yeah but anyway as the whispers go from top to bottom basically what i think has happened is they've said they charge by the hour so the longer you can drag this out, the richer you'll be. Oh, well, I'm not, we'll not be doing that. But that's what I, like that's by the time it got there,
Starting point is 00:18:10 they were like, how can we drag this out as long as possible? And keep in mind, and this is advice for all businesses. I get on my high horse. If you had done a great job, I probably would have got you back every third weekend for the next 10 years. So fuck you. Yeah. You fucked yourself. I've got a head here. So fuck you. Yeah. You fucked yourself.
Starting point is 00:18:26 I've got a head here. No, that's okay. Spoiler alert. That's all right. It took a while. Now, I've told you this before, Tony, and you just, does it annoy you or does it make you laugh because it's not you or like? A bit of both.
Starting point is 00:18:38 I think annoyed because I would be fucking angry if it were me, but I'd also be in a position where I'd be like, oh, that's so fun. You like overreact and your voice just goes really high. So they rock up at 1pm and they said three or four hours. So what's that? Four or five o'clock. Yeah. Wrapped up.
Starting point is 00:18:56 And that's the end of, you know. That's the afternoon. Yep. And that's business for the day. Yeah. So you're like, great. I'll be getting home from work when they're done. Three of them rock up in a new BMW.
Starting point is 00:19:06 They've seen you coming, mate. They have seen me coming. They looked up your address on domain or something. Oh, Beyonce used to own this. Oh, yeah, Beyonce. So three of them, which apparently charge each per hour. Per person per hour. As it would turn out.
Starting point is 00:19:25 And so one of them. Did you specifically ask for three people? No, I said, here's the size of my house. Can you do a top to bottom? And the guy goes, yep, three or four hours. Do you just tell them how many bedrooms you've got? And that's how they figure it out. It's a four bedroom suburban house, single story. And they go, yep, three or four hours, probably about this much.
Starting point is 00:19:41 Great. And you go, yeah, all good. Sweet. So if you're paying $50 an hour, all of a sudden that's $150 an hour. Per hour times four or five or seven. Foreshadowing. Seven. So the one thing I wanted.
Starting point is 00:19:59 Oh, my God. Do you know how many Pringles you can buy with that? At least three tins. So the one thing I wanted was just like the windows because we've got lots of big windows. But over time, like, you know, there's bird crap and dust and like spider webs and stuff. And I'm like, I really just want someone to go around with the hose
Starting point is 00:20:15 and just wipe them all down top to bottom, inside and out. Yeah. So this one lady. Also, you can't reach it yourself. So you're like, if someone's already on the ladder. Exactly. Yeah. Oh, they've got like the mop kind of with the longer handle.
Starting point is 00:20:27 Have you seen the window cleaners? It's like a window vacuum. The Karcher thing. It's like a. Doesn't that get you going? It's like a high pressure hose, but then it sucks it all off as well. Suck me off. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:20:39 Sorry. So this one lady cleans a mirror. Oh, great. For 20 minutes. Oh. And this is like a standalone little mirror Oh, great. For 20 minutes. Oh. And this is like a standalone little mirror that just like sits on a bench. Like if you had like a little makeup area. Not even a full length.
Starting point is 00:20:52 Not even a full length. Then she goes and cleans the sink. And then she goes, I'll steal some time here. I'm going to go do that mirror again. And then she goes and does the mirror again. And I go, okay. So were you home? I'd come and gone 18 times. they were there for so fucking long but because i had it was just me and mabel at home and i was kind of like oh i'll get out of your way i'll just hide in mabel's room
Starting point is 00:21:13 we'll play in here for a bit so you guys can just do your thing and i'll get out of your hair yep so we'd played for a bit mabel had a nap she'd woken up we played some more and i'm like so then i walk out and she's still like on the mirror. And I go, have you been doing that mirror the whole time? She goes, no, I've done this other stuff. I'm like, then why are you back at the mirror? And then. She was there so long it got dirty again.
Starting point is 00:21:33 The dust had begun to fall. Bridget gets home at six o'clock, five hours after they arrived. That's dinner time. And said, why are they still here? We're about to have dinner. And also. Are you popping a pot on the stove while they're in there? You guys need something?
Starting point is 00:21:50 Yeah. Because I think they'd stopped for a snack. Still on the clock, right? Oh, do they raid your pantry? They go in, they steal your little snacks? Yeah, nah. Have a muesli bath? Keep your hands off of my snacks, you little bitches.
Starting point is 00:22:02 So Bridget kind of goes, they gotta go because also we like bath mabel and there's a nude baby running in it's like so like a pretty fun time because they're like oh nudie on the loose um and also it's like and it's dark it's not business hours anymore yeah stop doing business one of them business is closed close the business one of them was i think she thinks she was cleaning the fence outside, like by the pool, and she's just hosing down the fence. And after 10 minutes I was like, what are you doing? Feel free to not.
Starting point is 00:22:33 Can you finish cleaning? And so. Was the house clean though? No, so they'd done half the windows. The mirror's looking great. Mirror, unbelievable. It's still clean. Yeah, but they hadn't done half the windows and not the outside yet.
Starting point is 00:22:49 And then I go, guys, we're about to have dinner. I'm going to give my kid a bath. Like, oh, yeah, almost there. Almost done. And then it gets to, it was quarter to seven, and I don't like confrontation. So I go, oh, how long? And they go, not long.
Starting point is 00:23:03 And I go, oh, okay, okay. Oh, yeah, I would have done the same. I would have actually been like, we'll just go out for dinner. It was 6.45 p.m. And Bridget goes, get them out. And I go, yeah. I love that Bridget's the tough one, but she's like, but you have to do it.
Starting point is 00:23:19 But you have to do it. And so then I said, guys, you got to go. You need to leave. You need to leave. You need to go. You've been here for several hours. Six hours times three of them. And I was like, you need to go. And she goes, we haven't finished the windows.
Starting point is 00:23:33 And I go, I know. She goes, we'll come back tomorrow and finish off. It'll only take a few more hours. You said if you come back here, I'll slash the tires and your brand new BMW. So they left. And the next day I called the place. And I go, mate, you've sent us an invoice for fucking $10 million.
Starting point is 00:23:54 Those aren't done. You said three or four hours. I want the windows clean. What's up? You also have kind of lied because you said it was X amount per hour, not per person as well. I don't even think he knew that because, again, by the time he'd re-farmed it out and, like, they're all, everyone's getting a kickback.
Starting point is 00:24:10 And he goes, all right, I'll send them to finish the windows for free. And I went, yep, I've paid for a job. You haven't done it. Come and do it. Yeah. Had they done that? Sorry. Have they done the rest of the house?
Starting point is 00:24:21 Yeah. Like, was it only the windows that they hadn't done? Like, it wasn't something Bridge and I couldn't have done, the two of us, in an hour and a half. Yeah. Pop on a playlist and go, let's see what we can get done. Like if you get professional cleaners for six hours and three of them, you expect fucking results, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:24:35 I'd expect a new house to be built down the back. Yeah. Yeah. Build me a tiny house in the backyard. Yeah. Set up my printer. So then. You know, things that take time.
Starting point is 00:24:43 So the next. Oh, don't fucking. You know my stance on printers. Well, that's why I said get them so they're on the clock. I could have bought a new printer seven times. That's easier. They rock up the BMW, rocks up the next day, rocks up. And she goes, oh, the guy said finish the windows.
Starting point is 00:25:02 And I go, yeah. And she goes, how much? This isn't a shakedown. You would be wrong because it is. And then I said, oh, the guy said it was for free. And she goes, yeah, but like I've got to pay my staff. What about the money you hustled me for yesterday, sweetheart? Sorry, don't say sweetheart.
Starting point is 00:25:23 That's very condescending. No, I think I dropped a few sweethearts. Yeah. Fucking tensions are high. So, and I kind of went, can you just do the windows and I'll sort it out later. We'll sort it out after. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:34 And by that I mean, sue you. You kind of. Because I was like. You're not hearing from me again. I don't want to fire these people while they're in the house. They literally know where I live. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:44 This is my, yes. Yeah. And so I send them on their way and I said to the guy, they've asked me for money. And he goes, well, I've told you it was for free. And I was like, I know this. Do they know that? Do they know that?
Starting point is 00:25:55 And I was like, take whatever money you need and never come back. You said that to them? And I said, if you had done a good job, I would have got you once a month for the next 10 years. That's the thing, isn't it? Like who's losing? Or are they just off to the next scam though? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:09 When does this shit catch up with them? Because there's a lot of people in Melbourne that they could do that to once that, you know, would never. But there's always someone that you can. I just, oh, it sounds like maybe you just really got a crook one because I don't think most people, because I think most people are playing the long game. Yeah, return, repeat business.
Starting point is 00:26:31 Yeah, like it's more valuable for me to do a great job and then people keep getting me back. People always need their house to be clean. Random question. Random question. You know how there's this weird assumption in real estate that the real estate agent has to have a good car because that means he's selling lots of houses and he must be good at his job. It's like this intrinsic, like, oh, he's got a Porsche.
Starting point is 00:26:52 He must be good. If I see you in a Porsche, I go, I'm paying you too much. Fuck you. If I go to a lawyer's office and the foyer is gold, I don't go, great lawyers. I go, well, you're overcharging. Fuck you. is gold i don't go great lawyers i go well you're overcharging fuck you so when the cleaners roll up in a brand new bmw x5 i just go who are you fucking over and they go you yeah it's me today yeah how much is the repayment this week on that car yeah grand here you go well we'll ask them for
Starting point is 00:27:20 that i'm out um so just to circle back um the beginning of this, you said that buying someone a cleaner is like a really good idea. Asterisk, a good one. Yeah. I've got to love to see it. And it's another small business. And this is a good business, a positive business. It's a shout out. This is a recommendation.
Starting point is 00:27:41 This is something we can get behind. Unlike those fucking scammers. I saw this ad on AirTasker. Yeah. Or one of those things. An ad? Like a, you know how it's like, oh, we'll wash you. Looking for work or whatever.
Starting point is 00:27:56 And some of it's like, we'll take your trash away for 50 bucks. We'll come and put those flight packs together for 25 bucks. Obviously, you know what we're searching for on AirTasker. For $20, I'll do a burnout in your ex's driveway. Hashtag support small business. Now that is a business I can get behind. And that's risky as well because if they get caught, that's their business over.
Starting point is 00:28:19 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I don't really have like an ex that I like dislike. I've never had like a bad breakup. Yeah. But I'm considering it just to use this guy. Just to do that. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't really have like an ex that I like dislike. I've never had like a bad breakup. Yeah. But I'm considering it just to use this guy. Just to do that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:28 If I fucking wake up in the middle of the night and there's someone doing a burnout in my driveway. Yeah. I'm going to dump you as a podcast host for a day. Just for a day. Then I'll ask you back out tomorrow. You need me back. Yeah. But I'll send a Commodore around this evening.
Starting point is 00:28:40 The Commodore. The picture is of a Commodore. Of course it is. Fully tinted and the number plates have been blacked out in the ad. And I was like, these guys know what they're doing. Oh, yeah, they're thinking about business. And I know you're not supposed to love to see that, but I fucking love to see that.
Starting point is 00:28:54 It's very funny. I don't know if we should endorse it, but it is very funny. I'm just talking to Burnham. Also $25. $25? Oh, sorry. Take it easy, mate. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:29:04 Yo, what am I, a cleaner? No. The top comment said, was awesome, would have paid $80. Oh. That's so funny. My love to see it is, I know that you're not a big fan, Ryan, of the Office US. I'm not a fan.
Starting point is 00:29:24 I'm just not like a crazy. You just haven't really done it. But this has been during the rounds recently and that many people have sent it to me that I was like, fuck, I've got to share this on the pod. Rainn Wilson, who plays Dwight on The Office, he posted on Facebook and across Instagram and everything and said, this is what happens when I ordered room service
Starting point is 00:29:43 at my hotel in Florence. And he's got all of his, um, I've just sent you a photo of it. He's got like one of those classic, like rolling tables with all of his, um, room service on it.
Starting point is 00:29:52 And then his cutleries in jelly, like one of the biggest things, um, the phone and like the staplers in the jelly and stuff, um, as like a prank. And, um,
Starting point is 00:30:03 and someone commented on maybe on Instagram, and they were like, oh, they obviously knew you were coming because jelly takes like ages to set. Yeah, that's a quick prank. Yeah, you haven't like quickly done that. And someone replied and said, oh, my husband is the head chef at the restaurant of the hotel. And they knew like he was coming
Starting point is 00:30:25 on the things they said and they were like, I really hope he orders room service. Wow. And they were like. And he did and they were ready and I just fucking love to see that and the fact that he posted it I think is just so fun. That's so good. Like he would be very, it would be really,
Starting point is 00:30:42 you imagine if you did that to a celeb that was like, oh, I actually don't appreciate that. Like, you know, you've got to really play your cards right, don't you? How do you react? Because I'm guessing you went, but how do I eat it? It looks like there's some more cutlery next to it. There's a knife and a spoon, but sans fork. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:01 So maybe, I mean, the jelly was intended to be a um a dessert you eat through that eat through it eat your way there yeah i like that but i just love to see that i feel like what a good sport as well i've seen him on podcasts and doing stuff and i saw him he's very good he was on a plane and the guy next to him was like watching the office and he had a master in code and he was like oh like yeah uh what a legend. But yeah, you'll love to see. I just thought it was really fun. Tomorrow could be a dark day on the Tony and Ryan podcast. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:31:31 We've got a show on Patreon called Live from DCI. And after a bit of back and forth, it turns out I have asked people to apply to be my arch enemy. And I believe, I haven't seen them, but I believe there's a raft of applications a raft what does that mean does that mean a lot i felt right when i said i don't think i've ever heard that oh it seems tony's applying to be the enemy for yeah sorry you know what yeah i'm on your side and a raft of something yeah it is a large number of things thank you james a large number or amount
Starting point is 00:32:04 of something. A whole raft of new proposals. Great. According to the Oxford Dictionary. That's where I do most of my wording. Let that one through to the keeper, I guess. We'll see you tomorrow. See you tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:32:16 See you tomorrow. Love you. Bye.

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