Toni and Ryan - TARPers vs SWIFTIES
Episode Date: June 18, 2023Maybe the worst thing I've ever brought to the show... x 2 hahahaha love ya xCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagra...m @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the podcast. My name is Ryan John. I'm here with Dr. Author, Dr. Tony Lodge.
Oh, this is going to fuck you up, Tony.
We're calling Washington.
Washington, D.C.
No.
Washington State.
No.
Oh, if you fucking tell me that there's a Washington in Paris, I'm going to throw up.
I think there's a town in North Carolina called Washington.
And she works in I. IT. This is Stephanie.
Hi, Stephanie.
Oh, she hasn't answered yet.
Hello?
Stephanie, it's Tony and Ryan.
How are you doing?
Yes.
Good.
How are you?
We're good, Stephanie.
We have to ask, though, which Washington are you in?
It's a city, Washington in North Carolina,
so on the other side of the country.
It's not Washington State and it's not Washington, D.C.
Is that what you're saying?
Right.
So I know I've said this on the podcast before,
but when you get on a plane, is it just the ultimate gamble?
You're like, we might end up at home.
Who knows?
Well, it's a really small city.
So most of the time, I'm okay.
You're on the Greyhound bus to Washington instead.
Right.
Well, Steph from one of the Washingtons, are you able to approve this podcast?
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Yes.
Hey, it's Steph from one of the Washingtons, and I approve this podcast.
Yeah.
All right, coming up today, Tarpers versus Swifties,
and is Tony going to get us cancelled?
These are the questions we will be answering.
No.
And we will get to that shortly, but first, Tabitha Lodge.
I want you to think about a time when you were starting a new job,
and this is you, Ryan, everyone listening,
when they forced you to say like, oh, why don't you introduce yourself
and maybe do a little fun fact?
Is that not the worst part about starting a new job?
It really is.
It really is.
I remember my first day at Picture Partners, the accounting firm.
Oh, and that's fancy.
Yeah, I would say everyone's in a suit and looking sharp and stuff.
And they go, tell us a bit about yourself.
Everyone went to one of two universities and everyone studied accounting.
Can you imagine?
Hi, I'm Michael.
I went to Melbourne Uni and I studied accounting.
Hi, I'm Jenny.
I went to Melbourne Uni and I studied accounting.
Like how many times can you say the same thing?
Well, a lot.
Yeah.
Exactly.
But then the pressure's on the fun fact.
Or they go, tell us about yourself.
And you go, well, if I had have known, I would have prepared a type five.
But it's not even that.
It's also just like, what do you say?
Like, do you talk about a hobby or like, or if you go.
What would you say?
Oh.
Yeah.
That's what I mean.
Instantly.
Tony, tell me a fun fact about you.
I love doing craft. Oh, that's not fun fact about you. I love doing craft.
Oh, that's not really reflective of who I am though.
No, but it's a fun-
I have a French bulldog named Pippa.
Yeah.
But is the goal-
To seem really interesting?
Or is the goal just to like get an answer out and move on with your life?
When I think of-
Because some people take a bit of a liberty, don't they?
They go, oh, and I moved here to Melbourne four years ago and I love it.
I'm living in Collingwood at the moment.
Because if you go, I'm really into craft and it makes me feel great
and I enjoy doing it on a Sunday, who's next?
And you just go, great answer.
Yeah, you know, is that fine?
Because people don't actually then in the lunchroom go,
so the craft that you're into, what's that about?
Well, let me take it one step back.
People actually don't give a fuck. But that's what I mean. No, but they're not even listening to the craft that you're into, what's that about? Well, let me take it one step back. People actually don't give a fuck.
But that's what I mean.
No, but they're not even listening to the craft bit.
Because they're so stressed about what they're going to say.
What am I going to say?
He said craft.
He said that.
What am I going to do?
Oh, fuck it.
And that's when you realize you're a loser and you go, what do I do?
Well, you go, oh, yeah, craft.
Okay.
Fuck, it's a pretty good answer.
Okay.
Well, I like watching TV and ordering Uber Eats.
Yeah.
Actually, I'm pretty professional during the week,
but on the weekends I actually like doing hard drugs.
Yeah, I go to rapes and, like, yeah, and you know what?
And that's a fine hobby if that's what you want to do,
but that's not work-friendly.
I'm married to Bridget during the week,
but on the weekend I go to dingy underground gay clubs.
You go, well, that's fine. But did you go to uni?
Yeah.
And also accounting at Melbourne.
Yeah.
Great.
Yeah.
Well, I love craft.
And so it's the worst, right?
When I started uni at WAPA.
Yeah.
So it's like I did sound, but you're under the umbrella of like production and design.
And so there's 10 to 12 kids doing sound, 10 to 12 doing lighting,
10 to 12 doing costume, stage management.
Like there's like six kind of groups of 10 to 12 kids.
Similar but different.
All doing different kind of stuff.
But we all kind of got grouped together in this big circle.
You had to say your name and your birthday.
And then from memory, you had to like line up in like birthday order.
Why are they so funny about birthdays?
Oh, I think it's just like.
And your address and your bank details.
Yeah, and the number on the back.
Your mum's maiden name, the first pet you had at school.
You know those questions that you have to answer at the bank.
And then we lined up like in order in a big circle and it was like,
oh, you kind of get to know people that have a similar birthday to you.
So me, Sean Pratt and Isabella Strata, we all had the same birthday,
28th of November.
Shout out.
Shout out.
And actually all 1993 as well.
The three of us had the exact same birthday.
Oh, the same day.
What a coincidence.
But that's kind of what's going on, right, this coincidence chat,
but amongst 65 people.
And then one person, they go, oh, does anyone reckon
that they could remember everyone's name?
And then one girl stands in the middle and she goes, John, Fred, Ali, Alex.
But you're just standing there going,
is she going to remember everyone's name but mine?
Am I the least important person here?
And she's like, I remember everyone's name but Sonia?
Like, I don't know.
I'm like, Tony.
You know, like it's just actually awful.
As stressful as it is for you being like, oh, my God,
what if I'm so forgettable?
Can you imagine the stress for her?
She fucking put her hand up.
What a dumb bitch.
If someone said to me, Ryan, stand up here and name all these people.
I don't think you could name all the people in this room,
and it's only Cam and I.
Yeah.
Ben.
Producer Ben.
I'm not good with names.
I know.
That's what I'm saying.
But that's why we're a great team because I'm great with names,
but you're good at details.
Thank you.
So I go, yep, I remember your name's Mary.
And you go, oh, Mary, have you finished your YouTube course?
Yeah.
Like we are actually a great team.
That is true.
But anyway.
That's why we called the show Tony and Ryan.
Yeah.
Because I'm like, if that's written on the wall a few places.
Yeah.
Surely it'll sink in.
You go, what was her name again?
Tony.
Yep, that's right.
Anyone some quirky name in the podcast?
Yeah.
Because we can't remember another thing.
Anyway, so another place that I worked in Bunbury,
at SCA in Bunbury, one of the GMs or a manager
or like a HR head of something, you know how they call it,
people and culture or whatever, like big businesses,
got like obsessed with this management book called Think One Team.
Right.
Okay.
And everyone in the company was given a copy of the book and you had to read the book.
And then we did like a group challenges day where you do activities like based on this
management book.
I couldn't think of anything worse.
And it was like, so then you're meeting all these new people and you go, oh, like if you're
in content and you're in marketing and you're in sales, I we'll put you in a team because you don't normally cross paths.
And I agree that that stuff is good.
But icebreakers just as a general rule are awful.
Anyway, so one of the girls that I went to, she did work experience at my work and we got along really well.
Anyway, and she posted this thing the other day.
She's like, I've just started a new job and I'm the only extrovert there.
Like she's working with like software developers and people that are into like cryptocurrency and finance and stuff.
Oh, she's a psychic.
Perth crypto.
Anyway, and so she's like, I'm the only extroverted person.
Everybody else is quite like data driven and not you know like very outgoing um so i'd love
some fun ideas for icebreakers to do with the team at our next like team meeting if they're
all introverts they don't want ice broken they like their eyes set yep and left alone you know
like i'm happy to come in do my work and some people just are like that like i come in i do
my job like i'm not here to make friends i'm here for a job. And that's totally fine.
Anyway, so she's asking about all these icebreakers
and people are doing the classic, like, do your birthday and line up
or, yeah, tell us a fun fact or whatever.
And she goes, I just want something really unique.
All right, everyone get in order of how many people you've fucked.
See, you can't do anything like that.
Get in order of how, of how you think salary ranges.
Who gets paid the most in the room?
Who gets paid the least?
I think that that would be a really good thing,
but it would probably lead to further conversations on the back end.
Great at the time, but that company wouldn't exist in three weeks.
The management would hate that because then everyone goes,
yeah, can we book a one-on-one after this?
Because why was I left of Stephanie?
I've been working here for longer than her.
Stephanie gets more than me.
She's a dumb one.
Yeah, but I've been working here for three months longer than her
and I think, you know, whatever.
Anyway, and there was one posted on there that I thought was really fun
that I thought we could do together.
Oh, my God.
Here we are.
We've been bagging out these ideas.
But I think this one's really fun.
Do you think we need the ice broken?
No.
There's a tension in the room.
So I knew that this would fucking come up.
No, I don't think we need the ice broken,
but I think it's an interesting exercise.
Who said that?
Oh, Tony, fuck.
Yeah.
Who's that?
So Ben, so this idea for an icebreaker is that you describe your ideal tea towel.
Isn't that good?
Thanks, Ben.
Yes.
So basically.
What's there to describe about a tea towel?
What makes a tea towel ideal or not ideal?
Well, that's.
All right, you can go first.
So, no, I.
I'm Mr. Craft.
I do drugs on the weekend.
Gang clubs don't want to know their name.
What?
Nothing.
Okay.
No.
So I'm not going to go first because I feel like I've been thinking about this for like
a couple of days because I was like, I really want to do this with Ryan.
But if you would like me to go first, I would take the pressure off you.
I wouldn't say there's pressure.
I'm just, I'm already bored about what I'm going to say.
So, but the thing is, it's not about being entertained.
Well, the thing about our business is people want to listen.
No, but see, you're lashing out.
You're immediately, you're on the defensive instead of just enjoying this exercise.
Yep.
The cloak falling down your back.
Push feet into the ground. Yes. Okay. No, the cloak falling down your back. Push feet into the ground.
Yes.
Okay, no, I'll give it a go.
So it's just about having an open mind and it's just about listening
and going, oh, I've never thought about that in a tea towel.
Yeah, I think maybe if you go first it might open my mind
to what's possible in the realm of tea towels.
Thank you.
So, you know, when you get like a souvenir tea towel
and they're always that really thin, plasticky,
like it's like polyester.
It's not soft.
No, and it's like.
I'd say it's coarse.
It's like flat as well.
Like there's no texture.
Yeah.
And it doesn't soak any water in.
You just move the water around.
See, you're already interested you
go to soak up the water but really you're not soaking it off the bench you're just pushing it
off the bench into the floor right on the ground and you're trying to like dry a bowl and you got
like you can't because but you might what you aren't able to because it's like pushing the water
out so like i think that like the average tea towel
is probably what like an a4 piece of paper i reckon you need a3 i think it needs to be bigger
um and i think that i really like the cross hatchy ones that are like you know that red
checkered tea towel that classic tea towel and it's like the it's kind of not woolly because
woolly's not right but it's like natural fibers because woolly is not right, but it's like natural fibers.
I think that is what a tea towel should be because it actually soaks.
So it's good for wiping a bench.
It's good for like mopping something up off the floor if you like spill something at the fridge or whatever.
But it is also good on like your plates, your cups, et cetera.
But you can't have it too fibrous that if you're cleaning a glass, you get all the little bitties on it.
Okay.
So is that your answer?
I think so, but then also like, you know,
when you clean a car window with a chamois and it gives, yeah,
that's nice, isn't it?
I was just about to say my ideal tea towel is a chamois.
Oh.
Yeah.
Why?
Well, the opposite of what you just said.
You don't want a dry thing that doesn't bring stuff up.
You want something that absorbs.
But have you ever tried to dry a dish with a ShamWow?
No, but I have watched the guy on TV.
Would it be squeaky?
Yeah, but then everyone in the house would know I'm actually cleaning.
Oh, so in your tea towel for you, your ideal tea towel offers you clout as well.
Well, it's not clout, but it's more the opposite of like,
it's not having clout.
It's just like not having clout.
Yep.
Because everyone in my house assumes I do fuck all.
So when I do something even small, I need a song and dance.
So you're kind of hoping that the ee-r-ee-r-ee-r lets people know like,
oh, Ryan's doing something.
Yeah.
And you go, what was my wife's name again?
And I think as well that it's important that it can dry
because, you know, when you have a really thick tea towel,
like a high pile tea towel, that's more like a towel
and you can't dry them out.
You can't like, you know, when you leave them on like the oven handle
or whatever.
I actually, and so how did this go for that lady?
I don't know.
I just saw it.
I thought that'd be fun. Let's do it. How do you for that lady? I don't know. I just saw it. I thought that'd be fun.
Let's do it.
How do you feel about it?
I really like it.
I feel like I've gotten to know a lot about you
and write down Shamwell for Christmas present for Ryan.
Thank you, Shamwell.
Yeah, well, knowing how much you spend on me at Christmas,
that feels about right.
Wow.
Six months that took you.
Have you used the Christmas present I got for Pippa?
I actually have the tab open, which I can prove
to you. By opening it? No.
What did I get Pippa? I mean, what did BJ get Pippa?
BJ got Pippa a photo,
a mum and daughter photo shoot.
I have it open because I need
to book it. So thank you.
The thing is
about the, and I can't believe you're bringing this
up, the thing is about the Christmas present is that believe you're bringing this up the thing is about the
christmas present is that we had a limit yeah and you chose to exceed it both of us actually did
it's just because i love and care for you and want to treat you like the queen that you are
yeah i want to apologize for that my love isn't quantified by money it is by a trip to brisbane
to have a whole theater dedicated to your favorite movie with a hundred of your best friends dressing
up yeah i was supposed to be able to just go and do that with my partner that's okay it was lovely to meet
all those people so you didn't like the present no i loved it okay great glad we agree see how
you're lashing out because i asked you about the tea yeah i've opened up and vulnerable i feel
small i asked you to be vulnerable about the tea towel and now you're lashing out about other
things that's really that's actually very interesting I'm vulnerable about my contributions in the kitchen.
Okay.
Well, what would you like to be vulnerable about then?
Do you want to talk about that?
Do you want to talk about that?
Do you think that you don't do much because you don't enjoy being in the kitchen?
Like as in you don't feel confident?
No, I just don't care.
You don't care about eating?
I clearly don't care about eating.
No, no, no.
But like.
The cleaning up.
So you're happy to cook, but you don't want to clean up?
No, just the eating part is my area.
So would it be better if you did like you food?
So there's no cooking, not really any cleaning, and you just have to eat?
Yeah.
Would you like me to get you some you foods?
That would be great.
I'll get you some you foods.
Thank you.
All right, write that down.
Cajun chicken.
Cajun chicken.
Oh, the jerk chicken, the one that you like.
And the nonnas bolognese.
The nonnas bolognese. And the nonnas bolognese.
Do you know what you're not going to get?
What?
No lasagna.
Yeah, no lasagna.
Not enough room.
Yeah, no, no, no, that's fine.
I remember that.
Hey, it's Steph from Washington, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
Jess Gross, Charlotte Ray, Crystal Castell, English Sal, English Sal, sorry.
Sorry, my eyes just like fucking stopped working.
Kimberly Samuels and Libby Forpo.
Love to see it.
Thank you so much.
Thanks, Forpo.
All of those people will be watching our 50-hour live stream if we get there.
We may be doing it.
If we get to 3,000 Patreons by the end of June, we'll be 50 hours.
We haven't tipped over yet.
That's one minute per Patreon.
If we get over the 3,000 minimum, it just continues.
One minute per Patreon. We could be there all month. I will stay over the 3,000 minimum, it just continues. One minute per Patreon.
We could be there all month.
I will stay until the time is done.
Well, we both have to.
Yeah.
Patreon.com slash Tony and Ryan.
What situation do you think we could like forfeit?
Like what's the thing?
What's something that could happen?
Failure is not an option.
We've got an Airbnb plan.
So if that house burns.
No, we'll just continue.
Just keep going.
As long as the internet still works.
Which it will because I'm going to make sure it will.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Actually, off air chat, on air.
Yeah.
We're thinking about buying one of these little portable modem things.
So as long as we've got that, we can just fucking run.
Yeah.
We can just keep going.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, we'll just wait.
The question is how will it end?
It won't.
We'll get in an Uber and we'll just drive around.
Sorry.
We can do that. Everyone's fucking blowing me out. As get in an Uber and we'll just drive around. Sorry. You don't have to do that.
Everyone's fucking blowing me up.
As long as it's within like the 5G range.
Yeah.
I mean, it would probably drop in and out because like, you know, when you get into an area
that's really busy, it's like whatever.
Anyway, thank you so much.
All those people that are going to be sticking around for a riveting chat like that for 50
fucking hours.
Well, Becky's got a question.
Oh, hi, Becky.
She said, are you going to live react to Speak Now, Taylor's version,
which is Taylor Swift's re-recorded one of her albums,
coming out the very same day?
Now, I replied and said I can't believe Taylor is ruining our day
and raining on our parade, but apparently.
Yeah, stealing our thunder.
Apparently she locked in the day first.
Okay.
Which one's Speak Now?
Is that a new?
Oh, so if it's a Taylor's version, that's a re-recorded. It's a third in like, I wouldn't call it a trilogy. Which ones speak now? Is that a new, oh, so that, if it's a Taylor's version. Yep. That's a re-recorded.
It's a re-recorded.
It's the third in like, I wouldn't call it a trilogy.
What was the trilogy?
But yeah, it was like, yeah, a group of albums.
Yeah.
Back in the day.
So it's a re-record.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't think.
And here's where I'm nervous because when Tony gets fired up about Taylor Swift, this
whole show could come crumbling down.
Okay.
Well, just before that, I will say.
We could be in new jobs next week telling people about tea towels.
Unfortunately, I don't think that we can broadcast any music.
Says who?
No, this is a question.
No.
Are we allowed to?
Who are you going to ask?
No, because you can't-
Like, you know how on TV and stuff, it's like you can't-
But that's TV rules and radio has radio rules.
No, can you fucking let me talk?
It's a wild,
wild West baby.
We've just got a motor in a fucking cab,
but you know how you can't like,
um,
screen things.
It's like,
Oh,
not for not to be screened and shared with people.
So does that mean that we can't like,
well,
here's the thing.
So there's rules for TV.
There's rules for radio.
There's rules for YouTube in terms of copyright.
Yeah.
But we're not going to be on any of those.
That's why I'm like.
Because you can only watch it inside Patreon.
So.
That's why.
Who's governing this?
And then.
Okay.
Also, if you're.
So it's for us to use our best slack.
Yeah.
It's weird.
Like say you're walking down the street, filming a YouTube vlog.
Yeah.
And someone like crosses the street in the background.
It's like, did they give you permission? It's like,'s like yeah but does it matter are they going to catch it like it's sort of this gray murky area so what I'm saying is yes but if they but
if you were doing like a YouTube vlog and you were watching The Office you can't record yourself
watching The Office because I think you can record yourself but maybe not put bits of The Office
yeah so when the boys do live streams watching the footy,
you don't see the football.
You just see them on the –
Who's the boys?
Who we work with.
Oh, sorry.
I was like, is that like a group that you follow?
There's some footy podcasters in the building here.
So they have themselves sitting on the couch watching the game.
Yeah, but you can't show the game.
Yeah, right.
Okay.
But again, because it's live.
But could we play music on there and it's fine?
We're not profiting off Taylor Swift, so surely that would be okay.
But also because it's live, because obviously YouTube,
the AI kind of recognizes the song.
But because it's live, they can't shut you down in real time.
Or is the helicopter going to come over the top and go...
Well, no, they're not going to do that.
They'll probably just take it offline.
But it's already happened.
No, no, no.
But you know what I mean?
They're not going to come with a fucking helicopter.
They'll just like...
They'll just like shut the or close the link or fucking whatever.
So what's your vibe on Taylor Swift fans though?
I just...
I like Taylor Swift, right?
Like I think that her music is good and I think it's really cool
that she's going back and re-recording all this stuff
and like getting the power back of all that shit that happened to her.
That's really fucked.
But the thing is, is that Becky, who's asked this question, right?
Becky McKay.
Who said, oh my God, it's that date.
Surely you'll be live reacting to that.
I think that that doesn't just tell you about the Swifties.
I just feel like I like her music.
Yep.
And I think that she's fucking great.
And obviously, like, stood the test of time.
She's been around for fucking years.
She's gone through that many like vibe changes,
nailed all of them, evolved, gotten older.
Like she's fucking had her heart broken in front of us many times.
She's still fucking going.
But like I feel really excluded from the Taylor Swift community.
It's like you either have to be all in or fuck off.
What, so you're just not allowed to just enjoy her music
from time to time?
That's kind of how it feels.
Like, because it's like, oh, I like Taylor Swift.
And people go, oh, what's her blood type?
Oh, well, I actually don't know.
But I thought that.
You're not a real fan.
Don't listen to her.
Yeah.
Oh, but I really think that this song is really good.
And they go, yeah, but, you know, like what top was she wearing
in that video that she did on fucking Good Morning America the other day?
I'm like, oh, okay, I've got an idea.
I saw Worthless Twink, who I absolutely love, Tim Abbott.
He did this bit on the Is It Just Me podcast with Mitch Turi and Mitch Coombs.
And he said Swifties are fucking insane because they'll go, oh,
she was wearing a blouse today with five buttons and track five
on this album is called Buttons
and it must – like she's giving us the signal.
Like she's trying to tell us something.
Like I actually – you know that meme and it's like English teachers
put more thought into a book than the fucking author did?
Yeah.
And it's like, oh, the symbolism of the window being open is that,
you know, their soul was open to being loved but, you know,
they weren't ready or fucking whatever.
And you go, I actually think that maybe the fucking window was open
because it was hot.
I've never heard that saying before about the English teacher
putting more thought.
I think that because it's the same with movies.
And you read these, oh, the blue in the background of the truck
was to symbolize.
It was a blue fucking truck.
Get over it.
Like, soz about it. i think that taylor swift she know it does she lean into it do you reckon i actually don't know but even like taking the pier she goes if i just put one black
like fingernail throwing them a bit of a bone a throwing a bone just lobbing something flammable
into the fire yeah and lobbing a lint roll into the fucking, yeah.
Oh, no, that's too much, mate.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
That shit burns fast.
We've joked about that in the past.
Firefighters have messaged in.
We did an official apology about that.
But it's a bit like, you know, when you kind of like,
this used to happen a lot back in the day.
I don't know if it's still true, but when I was younger,
I was very, very into like hardcore music
and the hardcore scene in perth was like very protected and all of the boys were really nasty
it was like a loving community at times but a lot of people were like i like it more than you and
you don't even know how to two-step and fucking just whatever anyway and so any melbourne shuffle
going on it would be like
that's dumb that's so dumb how do you want your community to grow and thrive if you won't let
anyone in that's how do i become an expert without starting as a beginner and like so you'd go in
there and they'd go um oh well what's your favorite song from this album and you'd go oh like don't
know if i've listened to that one yet and they go so i thought you liked him and then it's the same
with like courtney kardashian? She's married to Travis Barker.
Every single post she puts up has comments on it.
And it's like, ew, you don't even like Blink-182.
And it's like, she's married to him, not the fucking band.
And who cares?
Who cares if she's wearing a fucking black flag t-shirt and she doesn't know anything about it?
Like it actually doesn't fucking matter.
I'm guessing he wasn't keeping up with the Kardashians for the first 10 seasons.
Yeah.
Like why isn't anyone commenting on his thing? Like, oh, what's Kendall's middle name? You know, like I don't fucking matter. I'm guessing he wasn't keeping up with the Kardashians for the first 10 seasons. Yeah. Like, why isn't anyone commenting on his thing like, oh, what's Kendall's middle name?
You know, like, I don't think, like.
I didn't listen to all episodes of One Trick Tony.
That's fine.
I'm sorry.
I had to say it.
I've been burning up inside.
The other day when I said that your adoption story is really beautiful, I've never watched
any of the videos.
Yeah, I was going to say, what was your favorite part?
I've never watched any of them. Yeah, no. what was your favourite part? I've never watched anything.
Yeah, no.
What was your favourite part?
I actually don't even know if it's one.
Don't know if it's ten.
I couldn't tell you.
Actually.
I tell people all the time that it's beautiful.
And I know that it is.
Well, how do you know?
You don't know that it is.
No, I just, I know that it is.
I think you know that it, you hope that it would be.
And I know that by proxy it is because people are like, it's so beautiful.
I'm like, isn't it?
But I haven't seen it.
So in the last minute of the video, I actually go,
actually, no, not really.
And the fact that you thought I was adopted.
The fact that you thought I was adopted this whole time.
I already knew you hadn't watched it.
You're Chrissy Teigen's twin.
I actually am Chrissy Teigen.
That was the twist at the end.
Fucking shame on you.
All right, we will not be gatekept.
We will enjoy Taylor Swift at an appropriate amount.
I just want to be allowed to be a casual Taylor Swift fan.
I think that's fair.
You know, I think that I should be allowed to do that.
I think that the Swifties, like, really, yeah, they gatekeep her.
And I'm like, well, do you want, like, she wouldn't be as famous as she is
if you don't let anyone fucking listen.
Do you think you gatekeep Mashies?
No, I told everyone about them apparently.
I don't remember telling everyone about them, but apparently I did.
Is there something we can gatekeep?
I want to gatekeep something.
It's like if I really like a TV show, I want people to like it
so that they make more seasons of it.
If I really like a band, I want everyone to know about them so that they tour
and so that they make another album.
Like what interest of mine is it to gatekeep absolutely anything?
Preach.
Because otherwise how will it continue?
Imagine if we gatekept this podcast and it was still just the two of us
listening to it and making it.
Yeah.
Just the two of us.
Just the two of us.
Oh, I hope that you know the blood type of whoever sings that song.
Well said.
Thank you.
I just want to be a casual fan of Taylor Swift.
Is that too much to ask?
Speaking of not gatekeeping, I've got a You Love To See It here from Lisa Young from our Facebook group.
And Lisa says, my husband has always maintained that he doesn't like podcasts.
Fair enough.
I'm also not a podcast guy.
And our unspoken rule about car trips is that the driver decides what we listen to.
I think that's fair.
Me too.
It's great in my house because I'm the only one that can drive.
I'm a latecomer.
You're gatekeeping driving.
I am not.
Sorry, I've just gone to fucking 15 out of 10 there.
Yeah.
I'm not gatekeeping driving from Torbs.
Is Torbs gatekeeping the passenger seat?
Torbs is gatekeeping being fuckhead and not getting his license.
Anyway, he doesn't listen, so it's okay.
I'm a latecomer to the Tony and Ryan podcast,
but when I started listening, I was certain my husband would enjoy it too.
So I figured I would give him a bit of a graded exposure
to see if he'd become a podcast listener.
So if he'd get in the car while I was driving,
I'd kind of leave it on for 10 minutes and then go,
oh, sorry, let me turn this off.
Try and like give him like little windows of Tony and Ryan.
Hopefully one of the samples wasn't that chat about the tea towels.
You're so cut up about the tea towels.
I just try and bring my all to the podcast.
Is it not good enough for you?
Sorry, I've just got Chrissy Teigen and my husband.
Your brother-in-law, yeah.
Yeah, sorry.
On Friday night, we had a four and a half hour car trip.
I was perched up in the passenger seat preparing to hear my husband's music
the whole way home.
Because, you know, fuck, well, he's driving and I've got to listen to bloody John Wayne or something.
I don't know.
Is he a singer?
He's an actor.
The radio play.
When he suggested, why don't you put a podcast on?
Luckily, I had my seatbelt on or I would have fallen out of the car.
Lisa says, he said, you should put on our podcast,
the one we like to listen to together.
And he was talking about Tony and Ryan.
Fuck yeah.
And Lisa says, guys, you did it.
You converted my podcast opposed husband into a listener.
You fucking love to see it.
We're a gateway, listen.
We love that, Lisa.
We love that.
And if more people could, you know, if we had more people doing that,
we would definitely be able to do a live stream marathon.
True story.
True story.
Get separate accounts though.
So you absolutely, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You can gatekeep that.
You can gatekeep that.
How do you feel,
and maybe we need to talk about the executives about this
next time we fucking ask for some cashola.
Yeah.
If two people are listening at the same time
when we only get one download.
Because did you know, and here's a fun fact.
So imagine if we doubled all of our numbers to a,
some people listen with their kids in the car.
That could be times four.
So newspapers, when they come out and say,
this is a media chat, you want to know media?
Old media chat.
Expose.
Yeah.
When the newspaper sells ads,
the number they say
readers they have
is four times
the amount of papers
they sell.
So they assume that
dad, mum and the two kids
are all having a
rifle through.
Yep.
Or if it's at the cafe
or whatever.
You both read the newspaper
at the cafe this morning.
Yeah, but like
we glanced at the front page.
Yeah, but hey,
that's fucking
four sets of eyes.
But imagine selling
100 newspapers and then telling
an advertiser, yep, 400 readers.
That is interesting.
I'd say two. I think
you could go two. Well, I'm pretty sure 67
people at a time listen to each and every download
of the Tony and Ryan podcast. In a bus.
Like, it's people on a bus.
They're playing it on loudspeaker.
But you love to see that. Yeah, what have you got? You know how it's only champagne if it's people on a bus. They're playing it on loudspeaker. Bus exclusive. But you love to see that.
Love to see that.
Yeah.
What have you got?
You know how it's only champagne if it's from the French town of Champagne?
Yeah.
And otherwise it's sparkling wine.
Remember the other day I said to you that's the same with port.
Yeah.
Fortified wine can only be from Portugal, which I didn't know.
So nothing.
If you're like, oh, that was my love to see.
Well, no, nothing gets me going than like jokes based on this premise.
Oh, me too. I. Well, no, nothing gets me going than jokes based on this premise. Oh, me too.
I love these.
For example, he's not a wanker unless he's from the French town of Wanker.
Otherwise, he's just a sparkling fuckwit.
And I've got a few more.
They're only a narcissist if they come from the Narsay region of France.
Oh, I know someone from there.
Yeah, so do I.
Otherwise, they're just a sparkling sociopath.
I thought you were going to say sparkling ****.
Yeah.
Nah, we left that place.
And here's my favourite one.
He's not your fiancé
unless he's from the...
Unless he's from the French town
of Fiance.
Otherwise, he's just
a sparkling future husband.
Or as I prefer to call it,
a br future husband. Or as I prefer to call it, a brosecco.
I just love to see that one.
That is great.
What a great fucking play on words.
Some people are so smart.
They are.
And they're not us.
I like reading them.
Oh, yeah.
Should we?
Light brain storm.
Put your tea towels away.
You just fucking hung me out to dry
No pun intended about the tea towels
If only I had a ShamWow
I'd be fucking dry by now
On Thursday
Put a ShamWow on my pussy
Sorry
What the fuck
Sorry
Are you okay?
Yeah
It's all wet
Sorry
It's Monday
It's Monday.
It's Monday.
Not the start of week on that note.
Fuck.
Tuesday, fine.
Fine.
Hit me with that on a Friday, sweetheart.
It's only a pussy if it's from the Poussey region.
Otherwise, just sparkling. F*** it.
Ryan's on the ground and you've always said that I've always said that i've never seen a sparkle like yours
all right um what was your idea sorry about it okay great all right see you tomorrow because
we've learned it is monday
it's a sparkling see you next tuesday
happy party