Toni and Ryan - Tea For Your Tradie
Episode Date: May 7, 2024Venom in ya eye and something unthinkable tears Ryan and I apart. Love you so much!!!!!! Toni xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #Toni...AndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge.
G'day mate.
We are calling Sharon who is in Ballarat.
Shazza in Ballarazza.
Is that what they call it?
I'll ask her.
Hello.
G'day Shaz.
Hello. How are you guys?
We're very well, um, Sharon.
Tell Sharon what you just said.
Um, so I said we're calling Shazza from Ballarazza.
Yeah, well, I've been called worse.
Been called worse.
Me too, mate.
Yeah, I fucking know the feeling.
Yeah, Tony's been called worse today.
So, yeah.
Sharon, what are you up to today in B-Town?
In B-Town, I'm on a day off, actually, a day off work.
What do you do for a cross, Chas?
I work for the public railway system, regional railway system in Victoria.
The old V-Line, baby.
V-Line.
God, they're all the same price now.
They are all the same price now, Tony.
And they are.
Watch the news, it seems.
I have in the last 12 months.
When was the last time you travelled on?
I've actually never travelled on the B line.
The what line?
Excuse me?
Sorry, the Ballarat line is what I was referring to because like B town.
I actually called the train just the other day.
No.
Yes, I did.
From the city.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where did you go?
Well, I called it home. Well, I called it to an event. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where did you go? Well, I caught it home.
Well, I caught it to an event and then I caught it home to the F1.
The F1.
Oh, okay.
So you're on the Metro.
Yeah, I was on the Metro.
I've never been on the V line.
Should we pop out, Chas?
I used to live in Beauford, Sharon.
So I used to catch the V line into the city all the time.
No, you fucking.
Oh, of course.
You're on the Ararat service.
Yeah.
On the Ararat service.
Yep.
Sharon, as if you believe for even a second that he was catching the fucking train.
That he was catching the train to the fucking city.
No, I'll show you a video.
Call me gullible.
No, I'll show you a video.
He was in his bloody Volkswagen Golf.
I bet you $10,000.
Well, cash up, baby, because I'll show you the video.
But anyway, Sharon, will you approve today's episode?
Oh, my God.
I have waited so long to do this.
Hell yes.
Hell yes.
Woo!
Hi, this is Sharon from Ballarat, and I totally, totally,
totally approve this podcast. All right, coming up today, Tony versus tradies.
And I suggested something to Tony about how to deal with a tradesman
and the shock and the horror I heard in Tony's voice
after hearing the suggestion.
Offended, you might say.
I reckon most people would be cool with it.
We'll figure that out soon.
Ryan, I want you to think about this question very carefully,
you and everybody listening.
Yep.
If you were going to die, would you go home to your family
or would you go out for a beer?
Oh.
No, you shouldn't have to think about it i think this is the whole
thing oh you fucked yourself instantly what you know okay you know what okay oh fucking hell here
we go do you want to hear how my mind processed this sure i went oh well probably not beer because
i'm not good with gluten but then i went well if well, if I'm not going to die anyway, then fuck it.
But then I was like, do I want to spend my last hour shitting?
Yeah.
And then I thought.
In nice whiskey.
And then I thought, does this place do a bourbon?
Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
That's what you thought.
That was.
Are you implying I should have just said family?
Well, I would have probably thought that.
Am I family at the bar?
No, they're not there.
Can they come down?
No, I don't think so.
I think it's like one or the other kind of scenario. I guess I'll head down.
So this American guy, he.
Did I win a prize?
No, there's no prize.
What would you choose?
I'd pick family.
Well, you're not a beer guy either.
Yeah, exactly right.
Gin was on the table, I mean, or a mimosa.
I mean, fuck on anyone.
What if it was a peach pallini
pallini close you're about to die don't waste your last sentence on this morning though don't
fucking pick isn't it no what about a peach afternoon teeny espresso martini i'd pick that
over the family yeah see now who's judging fucking who. All right, please continue. There's this American guy. He's shooting a TV show in Coral Bay, Australia,
so like pretty remote area.
And he's filming this TV show and one of the things that he does
is like he makes anti-venom.
And you know how, do you know how they make anti-venom?
So like for spiders and snakes, they have to milk the venom out of.
Yeah, to get, like, a sample.
Yeah, and so they use the venom to make the anti-venom,
which sounds like, oh, punch yourself so you don't get punched.
Like, that just sounds crazy.
There's a bit of COVID in vaccines and stuff.
Yeah, because it, like, gets your body used to it
and, like, it knows what to search for or whatever.
I don't know.
I mean, like, don't take that to the bank, but this is how it goes.
Well, I heard Dr.
Tony say that they just milk a spider and all good.
Yeah.
And then you have a coffee with the milk you got from the spider.
But they milk the sea snakes and spiders and stuff,
like on a little cup.
Like it kind of looks like a shot glass.
And they like pop it onto the side and the venom like dribbles out of the
fangs.
But as they're doing that, they kind of like.
Wiggle around.
Yeah, and you can kind of get a little bit on your hands.
And if it just goes on your skin, I think it's okay.
You just like give your hands a wash.
Yeah.
But this guy, someone, he's like doing it and someone is talking
to him and he's on this boat.
They're making this TV show, this fucking sea snake's there
and he's like gone, I don't know.
And he rubs his eye.
And he's got like venom on his fingers.
And that's the way into the body.
Well, it goes right into your tear ducts.
And apparently you can't use anti-venom on that because it's not going
into a localized, because like I think when you get bitten by a snake,
it like clots you up so it doesn't, it like travels,
but it like if you put the anti-venom in that first spot,
that's how it gets around.
But if you put it into like a pore, it doesn't work.
Anyway, this guy calls his mate who's like a venom expert
and he goes, oh, fuck, yeah.
Hypothetically, if I got venom in my tear duct, what would happen?
The guy goes, oh, you'd be dead in six hours.
Like you cannot fix this.
So the guy there on this boat, he doesn't tell anybody on the boat.
Fuck, yeah.
They got a two-hour trip back into the port or whatever.
They go to their hotel and this guy's starting to get like really fatigued
and he's like, fuck, like is this it?
And he goes, fuck, I've already spent two hours on this boat.
I've got four hours left to go.
His wife and kids are all back in America.
And he goes, fuck, like, I don't know.
Like, don't really want to call her on that warrior.
And then all the guys go, do you want to go out for a beer?
And he goes, yeah.
And so he goes.
Well, he's in Coral Bay.
Like, there's no other. When you asked me before i did have the
option to go home to the family but i feel like he doesn't have the option to go home and so he
goes out for this beer and they all whatever and he gets home like back to the the house whatever
doesn't call his wife writes a little note next to his bed goes to sleep just thinking that's it
and he goes oh like i'll leave the note out and like if i'm dead when they
come to find me in the morning like i've died and if and if not like i'll wake up and whatever
all good and so then the next morning he wakes up and obviously he didn't have the venom on his
fingers or whatever and he crumples up the note throws it out like doesn't tell anybody
now how do we find out have we got an exclusive't tell anybody. Now how do we find out?
Have we got an exclusive?
Have we got an exclusive?
How do we find out?
No, no, no.
But like he hasn't told anyone on his crew.
So does he go out into the fucking shared kitchen and go, fuck, guys.
So I didn't tell you this yesterday.
So got a bit of gear from yesterday, guys.
Yeah.
Fuck, that's crazy.
That is crazy.
Surely you would be ringing your wife and doing some final goodbye or something?
No, I do get the, like, one of my biggest things,
fucking not to get all deep, is not wanting to be a burden on people.
And I just think that would be a massive burden.
But like.
Because if you imagine them stressing for the whole thing
and then you wake up the next day and go, oh, all good.
I do get what you mean.
But at the same time, like, say that was my partner
and then the next morning I just get a call being like,
he's passed away.
You'd be like, oh, my God, like, I didn't get to say goodbye.
You know, you'd be thinking all those things,
like at least you've got to say goodbye.
But you're right, it's pretty stressful.
But he'd also be dead anyway. Like like it's not going to change anything but i guess if you'd had the chance to be like well i love you like we've had a wonderful i don't know like do you
do that like big sad goodbye just in case that happens mabel get daddy's laptop and delete
browser history yeah like yeah um don't look in the top side drawer and whatever.
Don't you think like.
I understand why people would, but I would do exactly what that guy did.
I'd probably tell the people there, I was like, guys, I think this is it.
I actually will get another drink.
Yeah.
There's something kind of nice about, well, if this is it,
I may as well enjoy the last few hours instead of like,
oh, I'm going to spend my last few hours worrying and stressing.
But I reckon you would still be worried,
but you would just be pretending you weren't.
Is that the same?
Oh, no.
Well, I think it's almost like acceptance.
You go, fuck, it's in my eye.
I'm going to die.
Like it's happening.
Yeah.
I've often thought, and this is weird. No, no, it's in my eye. I'm going to die. Like it's happening. Yeah. I've often thought, and this is weird.
No, no, no, nothing weird here.
Is that if you fell out of a plane.
Okay.
Sorry.
I spoke to Sue.
But do you spend the few minutes, minutes,
which sounds like a fucking so long.
But yeah, that would be fucking torture.
Well, are you just well are you
stressing about like this is gonna hurt or you go well i'm clearly gonna die i'm gonna like oh my
god i'm flying through the sky how amazing i don't think that you would have an option to choose
like i don't think that you're you wouldn't be able to be rational enough in that moment
you reckon no if you fell out of i mean like and mean fell out as, not like were skydiving and something went wrong.
No, literally like when I'm in a plane.
I've accidentally fallen out.
There's that door handle and you go, if I just twisted that,
what would happen?
Yeah.
I don't think that you could actually have the capacity to go,
I won't stress right now.
I think that the adrenaline would just be.
Oh, I'd say there'd be 10 seconds of fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
and then you go, well, I guess that's it. So think of the good times. No, I don't think that you adrenaline would just be. Oh, I'd say there'd be 10 seconds of fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, and then you go, well, I guess that's it.
So think of the good times.
No, I don't think that you could decide that.
Relax and go, hey, I'm flying through the sky.
How beautiful.
What a great view.
To be honest, you'd probably just black out because you'd start screaming
or the air would be out of your lungs and you'd probably just black out.
You'd hope so.
That'd be better than that.
That's what I reckon would happen.
But I think even if you were lucid the whole way down,
I don't think you'd be able to go, well, you know what?
I've had a great run.
Like I don't think you would have that opportunity,
but I think if this were me, I would want to ring Torbs
and be like, look.
Do you want to call him right now?
No fucking way.
No, you don't fuck with that shit.
Oh, just tell him that you love him.
No, because he knows.
Just told him just before.
If he knows, then all good.
Oh, that tell him that you love him. No, because he knows. Just told him just before. If he knows, then all good. Oh, that's good.
It's like you just want that last like, oh,
I just want to fucking just talk to you one last time.
Do you believe in like the afterlife?
Yeah, I do.
Yeah.
So I think a part of my like not giving a fuck is going, well,
when I'm dead, it doesn't matter anyway because I'm dead.
Yeah.
Yeah. No, I get you.
I think I'm more considerate and I think more about how it would affect
the people that I'm leaving behind.
Yeah.
It's not really for my benefit.
It's more like to give them a bit of closure of like, I love you.
I'm actually okay, but I think this is it.
Yeah.
Say thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, to the dog.
Yeah.
That's the Torb.
Say thank you.
Say thank you.
What does Torb think of this?
Well, we were talking about it and I was like,
I would want you to ring me.
Oh, you would?
Because I would want to talk to him one last time.
Yeah.
Would you be real fucked off if he woke up the next day and was like oh good after you spend the night like i'd be i'd
be like oh my god i was so worried but i'd just be actually no you wouldn't be pissed because
he would be alive yeah i'd be like fuck i was so worried i'm so glad you're still here
imagine getting off the phone then what do you do well he calls you and goes i'm gonna die and
you go fuck okay anyway i'm gonna get grilled um i'd probably stay on the phone. Then what do you do? He calls you and goes, I'm going to die. And you go, fuck, okay. Anyway, I'm going to get grilled.
I'd probably stay on the phone.
What?
He has to spend his last hours on the phone.
I mean, you're already paying the international call, aren't you?
So you might as well make your money, you swear.
So how was your day?
Tell me a story.
And you're like, oh, my God, fuck.
You go, oh, so you know that bitch from Coles?
Hi, this is Sharon from Ballarat,
and you're listening to the best Tony and Ryan.
A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas on this hump day.
That's a bit of fun.
A little bit.
No?
It's because you've had a near-death experience.
I'm feeling like rejuvenated.
Do you know what?
Like, sorry, when I use the word rejuvenated,
I always think of like a day spa because you know how they always say,
leave relaxed and rejuvenated.
Wouldn't it be nice to go and have a little massage
and then like a little double quarter pounder?
Yeah, rejuvenate me with McDonald's.
Yeah, and then just like fill me with salt and put me to bed.
Yeah.
That's actually, if I had an hour to live, that's what I'd do.
Wait, most massages are 60 minutes.
Do a 30.
Yeah.
Just do a 30 and then go through the drive-thru.
What would your final meal be?
That's a great question.
So imagine that guy goes to the pub and they go,
what did you want?
Can you imagine if that's when you ordered a parma,
a chicken parma, and the eggplant parma came out
and you went, I'm literally about to die.
And this disgusting snail's been served to me.
If I was at a pub, I would definitely get a Parma.
Okay.
And I'd also get some salt and pepper squid.
Yep.
And I'd also probably get like, you know how sometimes at the pub,
and I don't think I've ever done it, but you know how at the pub
they often have like a sticky date pudding on the menu?
Get the dessert at a pub.
I never do.
You never do it.
Pub desserts are fucking, because you don't,
because you ate all the fucking calamari and all the chips
and the parma and then they go, do you want the sticky day?
It's always a sticky day.
It is.
Or on the kids' menu there's like a banana split.
Oh, a banana split?
Fucks.
Honestly, that is, it's the best of every world cream ice cream banana and little sprinkles and
like little fudgy bits shove it in me like it's such a well-balanced dish
like i actually i pictured when you said that on those old timey scales
yeah yeah and like they had a banana on one side and on the other side
was like the cream and the sprinkles.
You're like, it's so well-balanced.
A well-balanced dish.
I imagine me with a big cravat on, like Matt's cravat,
on MasterChef being like, that is disgusting, disgustingly good.
And he smashes the plate on the ground.
If anybody hasn't watched that fucking video, you need to find it.
We'll put the link in today's episode thread on Facebook.
That video is fucking criminal.
Have you seen the Key and Peele version of it?
No.
They sent up the Australian MasterChef.
Oh, I think Gordon Ramsay's done something similar.
Oh, right.
I was like, fuck it, we're intercontinental.
It goes back and forth 15 times and the guy, did you like it or not?
We'll put both things in the episode today.
Emma Coop, good on you, Emma.
Chantel, fucking love you, Chantel.
Thank you so much.
Matilda DiGiandomenico, all of them.
Sarah Krell and Kerry Gollidge, thank you very much for being part of our Patreon.
We absolutely love to see it. Thank um tradie chat tradie chat i've got tradie dramas um my
house is a bit like a revolving door of tradies at the moment and all kind of unrelated to each
other like it's not like i've got one big project on the go and like lots of stuff's happening it's
just like lots of shit i don't speak tradie no i
don't understand when they want stuff yep i don't really know where i stand yep i don't really know
what you're allowed to tell them you don't understand when and when not to apply a nickname
to a builder yeah yep yep yep we know this we know know this. So what are you doing tomorrow?
Well, I told a tradie that I was, he goes, oh,
when can I come round to have a look at this thing?
And I was like, oh, I'm free till 1pm.
And he goes, sick, I'll be there before 1pm.
And I'm like, well, no. Tony doesn't like this.
That whole morning isn't yours apparently it is i've
got other things to do but i'm saying like that's a window one so you shouldn't talk like that i
don't think like i was i spoke too generally yeah and i don't think that i knew you couldn't do that
i've like given him too much of a liberty.
So what you've said is I'm here to won.
What you thought you've said is you can choose between 8, 8.30, 9, 9.30, 10, 10.30.
Oh, so you get it.
Yeah, but he.
So you get it.
Because I can interpret both languages.
Oh, you could be my interpreter.
Yeah.
So other things, other times.
So trading times don't include numbers. For instance. No. my interpreter. Yeah. So other things, other times. Trading times don't include numbers.
For instance.
No.
Arvo, morning.
First thing.
Okay.
I'm going to count to three.
After lunch.
I'm going to count to three and you and I are both going to name
what time we think that first thing is.
No.
First thing is the time.
See, the fact you're asking this question is showing
that you don't understand.
Okay, well, I'm going to tell you what time.
If I hear first thing, I'm like, oh, you're coming at seven.
Well, it depends what time he starts his day.
But you hear first thing and you go, well, that's seven.
So then I've set my alarm for quarter to seven.
For five?
Yeah, just to make sure everything's ready.
But like first thing, that's early.
That's like break of dawn.
Tony and I used to have, well, I didn't know it was a fight,
but Tony thought we were fighting at the time.
No, I didn't think we were fighting.
We just, again, we didn't speak each other's language yet.
I said to Tony, I'll pick you up before 10,
and so she would be out the front of the apartment at nine just waiting.
Well, because I'd be like, that's before 10 technically.
You're not wrong.
Yeah, yeah.
No one's wrong.
You don't have to be standing out here for an hour waiting for me.
Oh, sorry.
Fucking side note.
Do you offer them a cup of tea?
Yeah.
Like, okay, so the cup of tea, I think, is like, oh,
do you want a drink or anything?
Like, all good.
You have to offer.
They have to decline.
What?
Oh. They're not allowed to say yes. There was a guy the other day that came to my house who I think he's like, oh, do you want a drink or anything? Like, all good. You have to offer. They have to decline. What? Oh.
They're not allowed to say yes.
There was a guy the other day that came to my house who I think he thinks
I'm Nick Cody.
That's hilarious.
And he was there.
He is funny.
You're not.
Yeah.
Nick Cody is very funny.
I'm not.
Yeah, correct.
Yeah.
And so he rocks up.
No, I know.
I see.
And he goes, you're that guy from the breakfast show.
And I went, yep.
And he goes, I can't believe it right
yeah and then i said do you want a coffee guys i'd love one and he's telling all of his mates on
site yeah nick cody made me a coffee yeah yeah i'm fixing nick cody's pool i'm fixing nick cody's
pool um what if it's maybe nick cody can pay him the invoice for the fixing of the bed. Yeah, make that out to Nick Cody, Fox FM.
Yeah.
If you're making lunch, like if it's your lunchtime,
do you have to make them lunch?
I don't think so.
Like if I'm like, oh, I'm just heating up my leftover pasta for lunch,
do I then have to offer him like a bit of my garlic bread?
I think offering a cup of tea or coffee is nice.
I think if they're there for the day, like going, by the way,
the bathroom's through there, come in, all good.
Oh, yup.
Just to, you know, ease the tension.
Yeah.
And I think if you want to really like treat them right
and they're there for a while, as in like they might be there
for a few weeks.
Yeah.
If you offer like bring a few bickies out on the plate
when you bring a coffee or a cup of tea, that'll really,
because keep in mind they're working on your house.
You want to get them on site.
But this is the thing.
I'm more than happy to do whatever it takes.
I just don't really know.
But throwing your leftovers at them is a bit –
Well, no.
That's not – it's good pasta.
There's a $8 sourdough garlic bread as well.
I'm not doubting the pasta or the garlic bread.
I'm just saying.
I think it's just I overdo it, as you you know and so i don't really know where i stand
because i think i'm doing too much but here's the thing you listening are about to learn the
fundamental difference between ryan and i and see if while i'm telling this story you can pick up on
it's quite small see if you can figure it. Last week we got this trading in the house.
Our fucking roof collapsed.
It started leaking.
It's a whole thing.
Emergency plumber was required.
Yep.
They say we'll be there before 12.
And I go, great.
It hits 1 o'clock.
They ring, which I thought was a nice touch.
That's a nice touch.
And they go, fuck, sorry.
With the rain, we've actually got a lot of people.
A lot of roofs cracking. Do you know what i mean and like fucking fair enough um they're like we'll be there before four though no later than four and i go great i'm doing the
maths in my head i'm like okay you're gonna be here at four i've got pilates at five
if you don't come till four i don't know how long it's gonna take for you to like fix the thing
and you called me because we were it was like a work day and you're like,
hey, cool, so like what's up with this and whatever.
I'm like, I'm actually, I'm still waiting for this tradie.
They're still not here.
They reckon they're going to be here before four.
And you go, great.
And I was like, oh, well, I'm actually like a bit agitated
because I think I'm going to have to cancel Pilates.
And you go, what time's Pilates?
And I said, at five.
And you said, no, they come before four, so that's fine.
You'll be able to let them in and then go to Pilates.
And I said, but I don't know how long it'll take.
And you go, no, they're already in.
When I suggested this, I felt the vibration of Tony's sphincter
slamming shut from nine suburbs over.
The very thought of leaving a tradie in the house.
He goes, just leave the door for them open.
They're already in there.
That'll be fine.
They can let themselves out when they're done.
This will take about an hour and you go, great,
I'm off to Pilates down the road.
I'll be back at six if you're still here.
If not, thanks for your help, bud.
Do you not trust tradies? Do you hate them?
Don't do that. Do you not love them?
Don't fucking do that. Do you not trust them?
Don't fucking do that. It sounds like you don't trust them.
It feels like irresponsible
or something.
I would never.
Because what if they need a cup of tea?
What if they need some garlic bread?
Do they know what a fucking kettle looks like?
Well, surely if I was a bear, they would.
Do they know how to preheat the oven to 180?
You've got to perfect for that garlic bread.
I get home and cook dinner, but not for me.
He's on the couch in FIFA eating garlic bread,
and the water's just pouring through the roof.
The roof's open.
He's made it worse before he's fucking.
Oh, no, but you kind of, oh, hey, mate, I've got to duck out.
Bathroom's down there.
If you need a drink, just help yourself.
And thanks so much for your help.
Really appreciate you coming around short notice.
No fucking hell way.
No fucking way.
Do you want your roof fixed or not?
It sounds like you hate Pilates.
And tradies.
I do both.
I'm trying to get out of it. I was i was actually you gobsmacked at the suggestion i was i was like i can't believe that people do that
i'm sure they would we have tradies all over the time but like and are you there to let them in but
then maybe you duck out but come back yeah sometimes there's that other times after they've been once or twice and you know we'll say for instance so i'd never maybe this
is important this roof plumber it was like an emergency plumber never met the guy before like
i had no idea who was coming like never met them i've i've on the day i've met them left
because they're they're doing their job.
Yeah.
Oh, no, it's not that I – it's definitely not that I'm like, oh, they're going to fucking roll me.
It's not that.
It's more like I would be stressed that they were going to leave the door open
and people would get out.
We've got a really tricky front door.
You do have a tricky – leave when you're finished.
They can't get out.
Good luck.
Yeah, yeah. They've just crawled through the hole in the roof. Imagine if they tried to steal you and then couldn't get out the front door. You do have a trick. Leave when you're finished. They can't get out. Good luck.
They've just crawled through the hole in the roof.
Imagine if they tried to steal you and then couldn't get out the front door.
That's actually probably what would happen.
They're holding the TV at the front door and you get back and you go,
what are you doing? He goes, what?
You've got to jiggle it.
Just twist it to the right a bit.
Sorry, I'm thinking about my way. You go the other side.
So it's not the getting rolled thing. It's just the whole like, there's a guest in my house and I'm not there my way. You go the other side. You know, it's like a whole thing. So it's not the getting rolled thing.
It's just the whole like there's a guest in my house
and I'm not there to host.
It's the logistics chat of having someone in your home.
But this is the thing.
If you hate logistics, you just leave.
No, because then.
They can figure out the logistics.
The whole time, though, that I'm out of the house, I'm like, fuck,
like have they let Pippa out?
Is that like are they done and they're waiting for me to get back?
It seems like Pippa's an issue here.
Does Pippa need to go to Pilates?
It's because Pippa is like my prized possession.
And if anything happened to her, I'd be absolutely beside myself.
But you know who speaks.
So I wouldn't put her in like, do you know,
I wouldn't like put her in danger.
If you understood tradie and tradie language,
that's what this whole chat's about,
you would understand that no one loves dogs more than tradies.
More than tradies, yeah.
They do love Pippa because she's so little.
They like pick her up and like rough her up.
Yeah.
The same that you do when you come home.
This isn't a blight on you.
Yeah.
But Pippa would get treated like a fucking queen when you're out of the house
and the tradie was there.
And she wouldn't be like, oh, this sucks, I've been left behind.
She'd be like, this is this sucks. I've been left behind.
She'd be like, this is sick.
These guys are rad.
So when there's tradies around, Bede is the fucking king because they all love him.
Like you said, they razz him up.
He gets stuff.
He brings the ball.
And then the other guy, the guy fixing the pool,
Bede's just sitting next to him keeping him company.
That's cute.
And then another time some guy came around and he goes,
oh, where's the dog?
And I said, oh, he's off, blah, blah, blah.
And they went. He's off. He's out the day off oh he's sick today so he's actually he was at mom's place or he was out for a walk somewhere and the tradie goes oh i was like oh
sorry that is adorable so i think like pippa is gonna have be left in the most capable hands
with the tradie.
Mechanic, obviously not.
Yeah, not a mechanic, no.
Fuck those guys.
No, no, no. They're right off.
But a tradie.
The people would be inside and the mechanic would be out the front.
Yeah.
So that would be safe.
Yeah, but just to put it on the record.
I just don't, I just can't imagine, like I just,
it wasn't even like, oh, if only I could leave him alone.
Like the thought had genuinely not crossed my mind because I was like,
well, that's just not even an option.
And I don't know why, but like I would love to know
in today's episode thread whether people do this
or whether you're a tradie and whether you like it or not.
Because I wonder if tradies are like, fuck,
I hate it when you leave me there because I've got to worry
about the dog.
I've got to fucking.
Can I make a guess on that?
Yeah.
I reckon they just like to be left alone.
Because they're like, I can just do my fucking job.
And don't have to.
Because I reckon that, not that you would be this,
but I reckon there'd be some high moment.
Oh, what are you doing there?
Kind of.
Like looking over the shoulder.
Are you sure about that?
Oh, no.
And then just go, hey, mate, I don't tell you how to do your job.
Yep.
Yep.
And I reckon that'd go. Jump on your zoom call and fuck off yeah yeah if i were to hazard a guess
i reckon that'd be more than fine but i'd love to know how people because i wonder if they're like
i don't want to deal with your fucking dog and your front door and you know like i don't know
or like when mabel's old enough and you go i'm actually just heading to the shop. BJ's out the back.
Mabel's got some water.
Yeah.
She's all good.
They're actually fine.
Do you mind just being my eyes for 10 minutes?
Yeah.
All good, bro.
All good.
She's happy.
I would have left before she got up.
Mabel will let you in when you get here.
Yep.
She'll take care of you.
She knows how to do the tricky door.
Oh, she's good at it.
It's right at her eye height.
So next time, I think where we've come to here is that the next time
I've got a tradie coming, send Mabel over.
She can be the foreman for the day.
100%.
And she can look after everything.
100%.
100%.
All right.
I've got a love to see it here from Ethan.
Hi, Ethan.
Now, Ethan, his daughter has Rett syndrome, which is a neurological disability and looks pretty tough. Oh, Ethan. Now, Ethan, his daughter has Rett Syndrome,
which is a neurological disability and looks pretty tough.
Oh, wow.
Looks pretty tough.
So they've been looking to buy, like, the perfect play set
for the backyard that kind of, like, suits the kids' abilities.
Oh, wow.
And because most of them aren't very, like, special neat.
Like, every cubby has, like, a little ladder to climb up into it and stuff
and it's just, like, a bit hard.
And I can imagine that, like, the play sets are really expensive as well.
Yeah.
So they finally figured out how to like make this one that's going to be suitable.
They need a tradie.
They need a tradie.
They need a tradie.
Well, actually they don't because he did it himself.
Oh, Ethan!
They had to spend the whole day with his dad driving around
to like four different hardware stores to like get all the different
bits and pieces because heaven forbid the one place has everything you need.
Oh, nothing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eleven hours with my dad putting it together.
My daughter, Eleanor, absolutely loves it.
She's the most happy I've ever seen her and she's loving it
and she deserves it.
Now, this is where Ethan's really missed the mark.
Now, he sounds like a good guy that can do no wrong.
I'm on Ethan's side right now.
He's really missed the mark here.
P.S. Isn't Eleanor just the most beautiful name?
It is a gorgeous name.
Like just Eleanor, it's just beautiful.
Carefree.
Proud dad moment, says Ethan.
Eve, good on you, mate.
Ryan, you'd understand when you build something for your kid
just how satisfying it is.
No, I wouldn't, Ethan.
You wouldn't.
I would not.
Ryan's got the tradie.
Ryan's left the tradie out the back by himself.
Ethan, I wouldn't understand.
You wouldn't, no.
No, but that's okay.
I love the sentiment.
Your strengths lie in other areas.
I love the sentiment, but I do not understand.
Maybe one day you'll build something.
Maybe.
Like what?
I don't know.
Probably not.
I was just trying to be nice.
I know.
I know my areas.
I know what aren't my areas.
You're allowed to be strong in places where other people aren't.
That's how the world goes around.
Not everyone's good at the same thing.
But I think if we can agree on something is that Eleanor does have the best dad
in the world and building that.
And Ethan's got the best dad too because Ethan's dad helped him build it.
Everyone's getting it done.
It's just like a big dad town.
Yeah.
I'll put.
I don't know.
Sorry.
Dad.
A big dad town.
This is a big mask energy today on the show.
Tradies and dad town.
Tradie chat.
I'll put a photo of the play, and it does look great.
Oh, yeah, I really want to see it.
I'll pop that in the thread today.
Beautiful.
I've got a recommendation, actually.
Ooh, mimosas.
I watched the movie The Drive with Eric Banner in it.
And?
Absolutely great. Really? Such Banner in it. And? Absolutely great.
Really?
Such a fucking good movie.
Really?
Oh, my giddy god aunt.
Have you read the book?
No, I haven't, but I've just bought it on my Kindle
because I went, that movie was amazing, going to read the book.
Wow.
It's so good.
Because sometimes Australian movies just, like, don't kind of hit it.
It's fucking high budge.
Right.
Like, it's not like a fucking, you know what I mean?
It's not the castle.
No.
Didn't they shoot that in a fucking weekend or something?
11 days, yeah.
A bit close.
Close for me, obviously.
A long weekend.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was Easter and Anzac Day all fell together.
Such a good movie.
And the second one, actually, which is called The Dry 2,
The Dryening or fucking something, that's also very good.
The Dryening.
I don't know what it's called.
That one's also very good.
That one, so we watched the first one, available on Netflix.
The second one has only come out this year.
And we go, fuck, we're on a roll-out.
We want to watch the second one.
$29 on Apple.
Paid it.
Worth it.
Very good.
$29? Not as good as the first one. It's it. Worth it. Very good. $29?
Not as good as the first one.
That's more expensive than the cinema.
Yes.
Or for one person, but all three of us got to enjoy it.
People wouldn't have to pay at the cinema.
Yeah, no, she wouldn't because she's so cute.
I'd put her in a little popcorn box.
You don't have to pay for people at the drive-in.
Like, so when we drove through, they go, two of you,
and I go, three of us, and he goes and he goes two yeah he doesn't give a fuck yeah he like didn't like that that's the
18th time i've heard that joke yeah hour except i can't ingest shit to my belly so he maybe thought
i was pregnant because i was holding i was holding people on my lap and he goes, oh, the two of you.
And I go, three.
So he might have looked like I was like with child.
The only way this would be more embarrassing is that if instead
of being the entry to the movies, it was at the candy bar.
And you're like eating for three.
Fuck.
Anyway, no, no, no.
Both movies very good.
Eric Banner.
Eating for three.
Eating for three. Eric Banner is Two, Eating for Three. Eating for Three.
Eric Banner, if you don't fucking mind.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Really?
Really.
Have you seen him as, I think, is he the Dr. John or Dr. Evil or Dirty Doctor?
Oh, Dirty John.
Dr. Evil.
Dr. John.
Dirty John.
Dirty John.
Stop saying Dr. John.
He's. But that's a bit spooky that one isn't it yeah that's good though yeah i did like that one have you seen the hulk
that eric vander's in eric vander's a hulk i don't think we talk about that because i
yeah it got critically panned do you know didn't they make another hulk two months later because
they're like that's with the other hulk with the one with Edward Norton in it.
That's very good.
Edward Norton, if you don't fucking mind as well, actually.
If you don't fucking mind, Marco Ruffalo, who's also the Hulk.
Oh, Marco Ruffalo.
Yeah.
He's good as a Hulk.
He's a great Hulk.
He's really good in Suddenly 30.
Isn't he?
He's a good love interest and he's like a photographer in it
and it's like quite good.
What's the one where his wife can't remember him?
No, you're thinking of Dear John.
No, you're thinking of Dear John.
Is it?
Dr. John?
Where the wife's in a coma and they don't believe him.
Spoiler alert.
Oh, I don't know.
That sounds really good.
If Mark Garofalo's in a movie go fucking watch it
do you know what i thought great when he's doing the oil company lawyering great is that that
emma stone movie great emma stone isn't she amazing yeah she's so good in what's the film
i'm thinking of single shot it's like two shots edward norton's also in it actually coincidence
chat birdman really great fucking movie that doesn't have mark Norton's also in it, actually. Coincidence chat. Birdman. Really?
Great fucking movie. That doesn't have
Mark Raffaello in it. That's just Emma Stone.
Alright. There's a bunch of recommendations.
There's a bunch of great recommendations.
Let us know how you go with those.
Fucking love ya. Fucking love ya.
Back tomorrow for Normal or Nah. Best day of the week.
Best day of the week. See you later. Love ya. Bye.
Sorry, that was a bit evil. Love you, bye.
That's better. Love you, bye.