Toni and Ryan - The Big Magnet In The Sky
Episode Date: April 30, 2024Listen to me really fuck up a new relationship. Love ya!!! xoxoxxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge... and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge.
Hello.
We are calling Emily in Oklahoma.
Oh, the musical.
No, the state.
Oh, okay. It's good to check.
Hello.
Hello, Emily.
Emily, it's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing?
I'm good.
Now, what have we interrupted you doing today in Oklahoma?
I am just painting our computer room.
Oh, like house painting.
What color are you going for, Emily?
We're doing just white walls with like a really bright orange accent wall.
Oh, okay.
Is an accent wall what we would call a feature wall?
Yeah.
Is that the same thing?
Yeah.
Emily, would you approve today's episode?
Of course I would.
Thank you.
Hey, this is Emily from Oklahoma and I approve this podcast. Well, welcome to Humday, dudes.
Wow.
Yeah.
Cowabunga, y'all.
Yep.
Y'all.
That's the weird word.
Wow.
That's the weird word. We're off. We're off. The y'all. That's the weird word. That's the weird word.
We're off.
We're off.
The wheels are off.
Let it be known after yesterday's episode,
Tony went into a Gary Busey hole. Don't say Gary Busey's hole.
And started reading his poetry.
His agnostic poems.
Yeah.
And said, this sounds like something a five-year-old
or Ryan would write.
I did say that.
Which is.
You can't argue it.
Is it offensive to me or Gary Busey?
That's a great fucking question.
Is he alive, Gary Busey?
Yeah.
Okay.
Good for him.
Yeah, great.
Also, it's Busey-isms.
Busey-isms, not just poems. They're Busey-isms. Yeah. How could I forget a Busey-ism? Really rolls off the tongue. Yeah. Okay. Good for him. Yeah, great. Also, it's Busey-isms. Busey-isms, not just poems.
They're Busey-isms.
How could I forget a Busey-ism?
Really rolls off the tongue.
Yeah.
Busey-ism.
Anyway.
When someone describes someone and talks about their bussy,
is that like a Gary bussy?
I think you mean bussy.
Their bussy?
I've never felt so old in my life. Work at PTV. I've never felt so old in my life.
I've never felt so old in my life.
Oh, what a lovely bussy she's got.
How do you say it?
Bussy.
What's a...
A Gary bussy?
Gary bussy.
Let's talk about phobias.
Let's talk about phobias.
My phobia is Gary Bussies chasing me around the parking lot.
She's got such a nice Gary Bussie.
Man, would I like to tap that Bussie.
That Bussie.
This is all.
I don't know how the rest of this ends. Bussie the vampire slayer.
Gary Bufi.
I was going to say Phoebe Buffay.
Let's talk about phobias.
Tapa Caitlin posted in the Tony and Ryan podcast Facebook group.
Congratulations, Caitlin.
Welcome.
Any of y'all have some weird phobias?
Any of y'all?
I'm just reading what Caitlin wrote.
You got into character, though.
Admit that you got into character.
I admit it.
Any of y'all got weird phobias?
And don't come here and say, like, spiders or heights
or none of that boring shit, y'all.
I mean weird, weird shit.
Fuck, so Caitlin came in fucking looking for a fight?
Okay.
Did Caitlin have an example?
So not spiders and not heights, but did she have an example?
Do you remember what it was, Sophie?
Tumbleweeds.
Tumbleweeds.
Are they real?
I thought they were just in cartoons.
They were as real as Gary Bussies, mate.
She had a beautiful big bussy.
What, is a pussy a back pussy?
Like your bum?
It's a boy pussy.
It's the back pussy,
isn't it?
It's the back pussy.
It's like Big Bert.
Isn't it? Yeah.
Like fuck me in the bussy.
Correct. Don't actually do that but
like that's what it is right it's a mash-up of boy and pussy male anus synonym oh boy pussy gay slang
anus in general oh i thought it was like she got that, like, I thought it was like, phew, nice burn for a girl, though.
Boy pussy.
Boy pussy.
Oh, the pussy.
Nice.
Hot.
Okay.
Sorry, what the fuck are we doing?
Tumbleweeds.
Ah, real.
Keep that all in.
Oh, actually.
Yeah, leave that in.
That's taken.
All right.
I'd love a frappe.
Do you know what I mean?
Same. Actually same. Wouldn'd love a frappe. Do you know what I mean? Same.
Actually same.
Wouldn't that be so good?
I'd love a double cheeseburger and a frappe.
I need a really cold, sweet drink.
I'm going to get you one.
You know how Tony had Monday Artist yesterday on Tuesday?
Monday Artist is really setting in for Wednesday morning today.
It's like, we just need a break.
We need a holiday. we just need a break. We need a holiday.
You do need a break.
You're a hardworking, independent woman and you need a break.
Do you know I was Googling like holidays for like at Christmas time?
Fuck isn't that far away.
I found this beautiful place.
I think I'll show you later.
It's not related to the podcast.
Where is it?
It's in Bali.
Oh.
Because we were like, maybe we could do a little like.
Yeah, a little.
A villa or a hotel or a little private house.
It's like a little villa thing.
Like a little.
Yep.
Like one bedroom villa.
Yeah.
And you've got like a little pool.
It looks bloody nice.
Yeah.
But I was looking at it and I was like, fuck, that wouldn't be so bad.
Because we've got a wedding on Friday the 13th.
Spooky.
My friend Jane, it's her wedding.
I'm a bridesmaid.
So it's like very exciting. We're getting married on Friday the 13th. Yeah. Isn Jane, it's her wedding. I'm a bridesmaid. So it's like very exciting.
We're getting married on Friday the 13th?
Yeah.
Isn't that spooky?
I love it.
That is spooky and I hate it.
Oh, bad vibes.
Is this of December?
Yes.
Okay.
Is this of December?
That just was really funny wording.
Yeah.
It's of December.
And then you'll, when she says.
Yeah.
So that's going to be of December. And then she will say, I do. And you go, let's get to the airport. Yeah. And then. It's off December. And then she says. Yeah. So that's going to be off December.
And then she will say, I do.
And you go, let's get to the airport.
Yeah.
We got to find six hours.
We better go.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now I'm thinking maybe the next day have that week there.
And then we'll be back before Christmas.
Do you have to be back for Christmas?
Oh, I don't have to.
Is this year the year of a Tony Lodge family Christmas in a Tony Lodge's house?
Well, this is.
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You got? Well, this is. Yeah, okay.
Yeah.
You've got to be back for that.
Yeah.
And I'd say don't go on holidays because you'll spend the whole time
stressing and planning on what to cook.
Nah, I won't.
That's Tony Lodge's problem in Melbourne.
You are Tony Lodge in Melbourne.
No, not when I'm in Bali.
That is true.
Not when I'm in Bali of December.
Now, I'm going to read out Ashy's Phobia.
Oh, fuck.
We're on that.
Yeah, yeah. And no one's going to read out Ash's phobia. Oh, fuck. We're on that. Yeah.
Yeah.
And no one's going to mention Gary Busey.
Because.
What about the tumbleweeds?
Oh, are they real?
Yes, they are.
Why are they scary?
What's in them?
Well, that's because none of these phobias have to make sense.
No, no, no.
It's not about trying to make it make sense.
But what's a tumbleweed?
It's weeds that tumble.
It's weeds that tumble.
They can hurt you is that it's
just the right fuck i mean i'd be scared if it came towards me sorry hiccups yep go are you okay
man do we need to pause and get you a frappe no because we've done that what was that episode
oh like years ago that was when we would record everything in one day. Remember that?
On the Saturdays when we had a full-time job.
That fucking sucks.
We did deserve frappes.
Yeah, we did deserve a frappe.
Yeah.
I'm actually getting.
We don't do that anymore, so we don't even have the excuse.
We are professionals.
Ashy.
Ashy.
Hot ash from Perth.
No, this is ugly ashy from Belfast.
Okay.
Well, no, it's not.
Don't say that.
Ashy says.
They're all hot ashes to me.
Belfast, though.
I wonder if they built the high-arrow Miss Titanic.
The Christian name.
Sorry.
Hot Ashy from Belfast.
Ashy's phobia is when there's lots of holes really close to one another.
Oh, triple, triple, triple.
Trypophobia.
My phobia is saying that word.
Makes me have a physical reaction like I'm going to fall into it
or something is going to crawl out of it and get me.
For example, crumpets, honeycomb, cheese with holes freaks me the fuck out.
Yeah, it doesn't really bother me, but I fucking get it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because it does look fucking creepy.
Now, Tam has come on my poon phobia.
I don't have that.
As you know.
Hang on.
I'm going to text this to you, Tony.
Okay.
Can you pronounce this word?
Coon poon-a-phobia.
Compound-a-phobia.
Com-pound-a-phobia?
Compound my-phobia.
No.
What is the... Do you want to have a guess what it is?
You'll probably get it right.
Compound.
I actually have no idea.
All jokes aside, look at the coming and pounding and poons
and think what are they trying to say
and that's probably what you'll get.
So you'll have your guess in three, two, one.
Plants.
It's a fear of buttons.
How would I have gotten that?
Buttons.
Buttons, fear of buttons.
Like doing them up or having them on their clothes?
Just buttons. In general. Oh, sorry, buttons like on your clothes or having them on their clothes in general
oh sorry, buttons like on your clothes or buttons like
on a remote
clothes
wow, I get it
I'd be more scared of a zip though
they get your cock in them don't they
not mine
Clinton
hi Clint
I need to step out of the bath before pulling the plug for fear i'll get
sucked down the drain with the water yep actually flat stanley that happened to him flat stanley
the book yeah did you ever read that no you can't read um yeah no that's a real one i i agree with
that it's a childhood fear and I've never grown out of it.
I feel the same when you're on the plane and you flush the thing. The toilet?
Yeah, and you've got to like stand right back just in case it gets you.
Flat Stanley would never piss in a 747.
Not right out.
Flat Stanley.
Yeah.
What's Flat Stanley up to?
You know how we all grow up and, like, fill out a little?
Yeah.
You don't have the hair.
I have.
Is he just Stanley now?
He's Fat Stanley.
Anyway, yeah.
I was going to say he's now Stanley.
No, you weren't going to say it.
You said it and mine was better.
Tony Lodge logicisms.
Colleen said.
Hi, Colleen.
And there's multiple reasons for this.
And Colleen's is not for the reason that we will agree with.
Oh, no, we agree.
It's open space.
Colleen has a phobia of cruise ships.
Oh, yeah.
Yep.
So mine is and yours is because I don't want to ship myself.
And just the claustrophobia and the ugh.
But Colleen just looks at them and goes, how is that floating?
Um, great fucking point.
Yeah.
They're made of metal.
Sometimes they don't.
Isn't it?
I mean, have you seen the movie about the RMS Titanic?
Came out in 1997.
It's quite famous.
You know, they float until they don't.
I'm about to chip off.
They float into the...
That should have been the name of the movie.
It's the slogan underneath it.
Titanic, they float until they don't.
Haven't killed someone until they do.
Fuck.
But I actually think that with planes
Like what about
How are they up there?
You can't think about it too much
This is made of metal
And I'm in the sky over the Pacific Ocean
And because they don't really know right?
No
Like they don't really know why it works
And we've said this before
And people go oh no there's fucking engineers
Fuck off
But they don't really know
No one knows
Maybe it's a big magnet
And they're like repelling each other Oh, no, there's fucking engineers. Fuck off. They don't know. No one knows. Maybe it's a big magnet.
And they're like repelling each other and that's it.
Oh, I think you meant the big magnet in the sky.
That's God.
So it pulls up.
That's God.
Fuck.
God's super religious.
Sorry.
Does he not draw in love?
Is love magnetic?
It is with you.
Makes me want to stick you to a fridge.
Katie.
Hey, Katie.
Velvet gives me panic attacks. Oh, yes.
It does.
And it should for everyone.
It's horrific and I can't explain it, but it sets me the fuck off.
It's not even just touching it for me.
It's like seeing it because the texture looks all funny.
It like gives me, it's like my depth perception.
I can't see where it is big and small.
Like, because you know how it like some of it's flat and some of it's shiny?
Yeah.
Which is it?
And I don't know if it's coming at me or not.
It really freaks me out, Velvet.
Yeah, I play that.
Katie?
Kate?
Katie?
Yeah.
Sorry, everyone, for today.
Today's a fucking mess.
Are you sure in the break you don't need a cheeseburger and a frappe?
I'm not.
I'm not sure.
Can we?
Yeah.
Hey, this is Emily from Oklahoma, and I approve this podcast. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
I really hope you've made it this far and you're still listening.
I hope you're not.
I hope you took today off and didn't listen and tomorrow is a new day.
Or maybe if you are listening, you started here and didn't hear that part.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Jamie Renfray.
Thank you so much, Jamie.
Why are you implying the rest is going to be great?
Fuck, don't.
Dylan Spring.
Good on you, Dil.
Just Jamie.
Oh, no.
No, you're more than that.
No, but I think they're saying like it's not my partner and Jamie.
Oh, yeah.
It's just me.
It's just Jamie.
Paying for my own Patreon.
It's just Jamie. Morgz my own Patreon. It's just Jamie.
Morgz and Canute.
Canute what?
Canute come over later and watch TV with me.
Yes, as long as it's not Tomcats.
Yeah.
No, we'll be watching that again.
That's for sure.
So I mentioned before I've gotten into some hot water,
maybe yesterday I've gotten into some hot water over a nickname.
Yep.
I'm not good with nicknames.
Having one, calling people them? the above okay do you remember when i accidentally called you rye and i backed rye in and that was just however have you blocked that from your
memory yeah i don't recall that at all that's been well pushed down yeah um where the fuck
was that oh it's ages ago yeah i know anyway and i'm not really good at them and I feel like I'm overly,
even when someone tells me that their name is a nickname,
I'm like I feel like it's too familiar.
I don't like when people introduce themselves as their nickname.
Yeah.
Like if we get to that stage, great, but tell me your formal proper name.
But then it's a
bit of a problem because like i always introduce my boyfriend torbs as alex yes but then i feel
bad like they are missing out on knowing who that person is you know because then if i know because
then if i refer to them as torbs they go well who's that who are you talking about yeah like
so you kind of feel like you want to explain it but it doesn't really make sense. Anyway, at the moment at our house, we're going through the process
of having a table and chairs built for our dining room.
Yeah.
And I did like a little bit of a call out on Instagram
because I was trying to find someone that we liked the look of
because I'd sent a few inquiries out.
Yeah, and we had a specific request because you've got this specific
little corner that needs a specific little thing and it's been tricky, right?
Yeah, because it's like against a wall.
You can't do like table and chairs because the chairs are just going
to like bang into the wall all the time.
Yeah.
So we're getting like a little booth made and like a little table
to go with it.
And I didn't think it would like be that difficult to find someone.
Would you describe it as an ordeal?
It has been a little bit of an ordeal.
And that's why I posted a desperate plea on Instagram being like,
does anyone know anyone or have you had this built?
What was the process?
I just kind of needed to know.
I got heaps of lovely people reaching out and I sent out inspo pics
to a few people.
And they're like, oh, I could probably do that part, but not this part.
Or, oh, I don't think that would really work.
Or I can build it, but you need the plans first.
And I was like, I just kind of need someone that can do the whole thing.
I'm not very good with admins.
I was like, if I only have to talk to one person, that would really be a lot better.
Anyway, I ended up talking to this guy.
He fully got the vision and like loved the
pics and was like oh i've made something similar let me show you the he had like ones that he'd
made in the past and torps and i looking at the photos like oh my god this looks great um he goes
look i've kind of got a busy time coming up but i could come and look at your space tomorrow. And so I'm like, oh, shit.
Like it's happening already.
Let me tidy up.
Kind of.
And I was like, oh, well, I've got work during the day
and then I'm going to Pilates so I probably won't be home
until like around seven.
He goes, great, my parents actually don't live far from you
so I'll hang out with them after work and then I'll come
to you guys after.
Anyway, so he's messaged from his work Instagram,
like his business page, and introduced himself as Benjamin.
Benjamin.
And I, in our conversations, I said, hey, Ben, yep, no worries.
Okay.
And then he like signs off another message, Benjamin.
And I went, cool, Ben.
And I didn't really think about it, but I was like, fuck.
He's used Benjamin twice.
Twice.
And he's typed out each individual letter twice.
Big name as well, like Benjamin.
Like it's a long one.
It's not Tony.
It's not Ryan.
Benjamin.
Anyway.
Okay, we'll see whose side you're on.
And I'm kind of like, oh, you know, he's being obviously very professional and whatever. But so I'm looking through his work. And I'm kind of like, oh, you know, he's being obviously very professional
and whatever.
So I'm looking through his work Instagram and I'm kind of like,
oh, this guy's coming to our house tomorrow.
And I don't know anything about him.
Well, you do.
You know his name's Benjamin and he builds stables.
No, his name's Benjamin and I know that he builds stables.
What else did he need to know?
Anyway.
Is he wearing a tux?
Is he coming for dinner?
What do you mean I don't know anything about him?
Well, like he's coming to my personal home.
Everyone's home is their personal home. Yeah, and I don't know anything about him? Well, like, he's coming to my personal home. Everyone's home is their personal home.
Yeah, and I don't have a lot of people at home.
But anyway, and I'm looking through his work,
instrument, Instagram.
Fuck me, I'm off.
Just for the record, we didn't get the frappes.
We did not get the frappes, and now I'm flappé.
Yeah.
Send that to fucking McDonald's, obviously.
Put that on a T-shirt.
See you later.
Yeah, get a frappe so you're no flappe.
Anyway, I'm looking through his work Instagram
and I see this account, always liking the post,
and it's like Benjamin Blah.
And I'm like, oh, that's his.
That's his personal one.
So I decide to do a little bit of a deep dive.
I click on his thing and I see that it's him and it comes up like his bio is like owner of blah.
So I know it's the right guy.
I do a little bit of a deep dive.
This guy's coming to my house.
This is kind of normal.
Like he would have looked through my Instagram exactly the same and been like, who's this bitch?
Well, yeah.
Sorry, mate.
It's basically a work one.
So it doesn't reflect on me totally.
Yeah, it does. Blur. Yeah, yeah. who's this girl i'm gonna be working for oh she sucks two dicks today yeah put heaps of soap in her asshole yeah awesome anyway so i'm having like a little bit of a bathroom do you good
because i want right because i'm out i'm not doing it i'm like having a little bit of a
squeeze and i'm like great like he seems like really nice and normal all good he comes to our house the next day and i had just gotten home from pilates
torbs had just gotten home from work we're like trying to feed pippa it's like go go go yeah um
it's what do they call like the witching hour or whatever like there's just a million things that
need to happen the oven's been turned on so we can cook dinner after um benjamin leaves um
anyway and he's come quite a way to our house and he's waited at his parents house to like kill time
before we were going to be home he knocks on the door i say hey man so nice to meet you come on in
i shake his hand and like before i open the door i I picked Pippa up. Yep.
So she doesn't go running out. So that she didn't run out.
And also because before anyone comes in, I'm like, oh,
are you okay with dogs?
Like, is that all right?
Yep.
And he goes, oh, yeah, all good.
And I said, oh, but you've got big dogs, don't you?
Actually, are we all going to sit here and pretend we don't look
at each other's Instagram or are we just going to be cool with it
and fucking move on?
I probably should have been a bit cooler than that.
You definitely 1,000% should have.
But as a society, should we just all decide?
We're all having a gander.
We're all gandering.
It's all fair game.
Let's just cut the bullshit and fucking move on with it.
So anyway, what's he say?
He obviously freaks out.
So I went, but you've got big dogs, don't you?
And he's like, oh, yeah, like two chocolate labs.
Yeah, Trevor and Carl.
Yeah, I'm like, oh, how's her leg going?
But I obviously only know this from stalking his Instagram.
I also know that from his Instagram he's not long gotten married.
Like they're all these.
Why were you planning on having a crack man?
No, but I was just like, oh, you're recently married.
Off the market.
I guess you're just here to just do the table.
Just do the table.
Nothing else has been done.
Not lay me down on it.
Yeah, nice.
Anyway, he's very professional.
I'm glad one of you is professional in this fucking conversation.
He's super nice.
Like so lovely.
Really young, like really lovely, really young,
like really cool guy, but very professional.
I'll remind you he is recently married.
Yeah, no, no, no.
It's not like that at all.
But like he's a really, really good guy and he basically,
he just measured everything up and then after that he's like telling me
about how long it's going to take.
He's like probably like six to eight weeks.
And I was like, fuck that. I hate to wait. I probably like six to eight weeks. And I was like, fuck that.
I hate to wait.
I'm not a very patient person.
And I was like, oh, really?
That long?
And he goes, yeah, like, and it also depends on if you like what I send you.
Because if you don't, then we have to like.
Redraw it.
Redraw it.
And that adds a bit of time.
And he's like, and depending on what materials you want,
like it all makes sense.
But like, I'm like, oh, I i'm just so excited i really want it now
and then um so every time he's emailed yeah i like get back to him straight away and over the
next couple of days um i've gotten back to him and he's like would you like blah or blah and i'm like
that one and he's like i'm being super decisive i'm all good anyway the other day it's during the day i'm like working and i was actually replying to
messages in patreon so our like our patreon which has got like heaps of tarpels in there
we reply to all the messages and i normally do it i really enjoy like going through the inbox and i
do like fucking 50 at a time and i'm'm like deep in Tony Lodge mode.
Yeah.
So I'm like reading all these great stories,
all these people are sharing all this stuff with me, and I'm like,
oh, my God, hey, so great to meet you, like fucking love you, blah, blah, blah.
Anyway, this guy, he emails me, and I'm so excited to hear an update that I click into the email and I read it and I start replying immediately.
I've just sent you a photo of the first email.
Yeah.
Is his name Ben or Benjamin?
It's certainly not Benny.
Who the fuck is Benny?
Who the fuck am I?
What am I up to the fuck are you?
What am I up to?
You're not ordering a Hollandaise on the weekend, bro.
This is a professional.
Hey, Benny, hope you had a mad weekend.
You fucking idiot.
Oh, hang on.
Do I keep reading?
Sorry.
It's NG. It's NG.
It's not good.
G'day, Benny.
Hope you had a mad weekend.
Fuck yeah.
This is so exciting.
Fuck yeah.
Fuck yeah.
And look at all those exclamation marks.
Imagine if I was paying per those.
I couldn't pay my mortgage.
There's more.
It looks like your front fence.
Literally.
It's upsetting, isn't it?
I'll be home this morning.
If you want to drop it off, all good.
Can't wait, dog.
There's no dog there.
Who doesn't say that?
So I've like replied to him in, I don't know,
I've just blacked out basically,
but I'm obviously in Tony Lodge mode from like replying to all these things.
Oh, this is even worse.
This is even worse.
Why didn't you just stop while you weren't ahead
but just delete? Fuck me.
Fuck. Let me read this out. Does Tony Lodge
ever stop? No, she does not. An hour
and a half later. Were you stewing
for an hour and a half? Yeah. I should have
just watched the first half of Titanic. Instead,
I decided to fucking send this.
Who's reading this?
You can read it. I've sent this to
Benjamin. This makes me feel fucking ill.
So you've called Benjamin Benny.
I've done that.
G'day, Benny.
You've had a mad weekend and a fuck yeah.
Hey, Ben, I would like to formally apologise for backing in a nickname
like Benny when we don't really know each other.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
First of all, you've said, hey, Ben.
Yeah, so I still didn't give him his real name.
His name is Benjamin.
Yep, yeah.
And then.
Formally, what's the difference between formally apologising
and apologising?
Just thought it would take the edge off a little bit.
Like thought it'd be like a bit like, oh, time in check.
It's just made it so much more awkward.
Because then what's he going to say?
Oh, it's fine.
So this is like the morning.
The next day.
So he's let you sit on that overnight.
The next day.
He's busy.
He's busy.
The next day, I've just sent you another photo. He sent me this.
If Benny works, Benny it is, I guess.
Have a good day.
Customer's always right.
Shoot me in the fucking dick.
If Benny works, then Benny it is.
P.S. I'm married.
Stop looking at my Instagram.
And then
I'm really going into recon.
Believe it or not, there's another fucking email.
Did it occur to you to shut the fuck up?
No, it never has in my whole life.
Isn't that the worst thing you've ever seen?
It actually just keeps getting worse.
How do I even fucking describe this?
Hello Ben, B-E-N, and then in brackets, N-Y.
His name's Benjamin.
I know.
I just can't stop
Can't stop
Won't stop
Because I thought
That that would be like
Funny like
Oh Benny
Like remember yesterday
It was like a callback
To like
Like
Oh my god
Haven't heard from the
Since
Beat that out
From who?
That's definitely
Not his name
That's definitely not his name.
That's definitely not his name.
I've already paid the deposit.
I don't know if anything's going to get built.
No, he'll build it.
I just don't know if you want to see him again because you'll have to live through all of that.
I can't believe you just got him to see it.
That's the funniest part of all of this.
And there's a lot to fucking choose from, mate.
Fuck, dude.
Isn't that just the worst thing that's ever occurred?
Do you need a dining table?
No.
No, I really don't.
I really don't.
I just really, I thought I was being like cheeky and like playful,
but it just, it wasn't.
And he's so fucking, like he's so good at what he does.
He's such a good
guy now i don't want to throw benjamin under the bus but like is he a benny or is he just or around
you is he a professional who comes in and he does the job and he does what he needs to do
like oh get wound. Like, you know.
I also, like, I have no idea if he, like,
knows what I do for a job or anything.
Does that matter?
No, but I just.
Are you any less of a fuckwit if you're a podcast host?
No, probably more, to be fair, probably more of a fuckhead.
But, like, I don't know if he thinks I'm, like, yeah,
I really don't know what he thinks,
but I haven't really heard from him since then.
And he was like, oh, yeah, well, I'm just going to draw up this thing
so it'll be a little while.
I don't know where it's at now.
Can you install it while you're at work or something?
He's going to have to.
I think probably legally he's going to take out a fucking AVO
and I'm not going to be allowed to be there while he's there.
He'll be in witness protection.
Yeah.
Fuck, dude.
He'll go by Benny then maybe.
Ben in brackets me.
I just thought I was being like nice and playful.
No, we get it.
It did not work.
No.
No.
Can't you just be a professional?
He's trying to be a professional.
I know.
He's a real builder building a real table that your real family can trying to be a professional. I know. He's a real builder, building a real table that your real family
can have real dinners on.
I know, and I'm really excited about it,
and I think I just couldn't hold the excitement in,
and I just fucking like.
Even the hope you had a mad weekend is a bit of a stretch.
I've never said that in my life.
It makes it sound like you do drugs and party.
It does, which I obviously don't.
I was at your daughter's first birthday on the weekend.
Have a mad weekend, bro.
Yeah, have a mad one.
Benny, have a mad one, Benny.
Wow.
Yeah, so there's really no coming back from that.
And I'm never, ever calling anyone a nickname ever again.
Can I email him from your email?
No fucking way.
Oh, actually, no.
It probably couldn't get much worse.
I've got to give him a really nice gift or something when he finishes it.
No, pay him and let him go.
Oh, is that nicer?
To shut the fuck up?
Yes.
Don't make, because this is what your, I don't know why,
your brain goes, geez, this is fucking awkward.
I don't know how to fix it.
Making it more awkward.
No, a gift is nice.
Do you know what I could get him?
Those crayons I got from Apple.
Benny, fuck.
No.
Ben, jam in.
Just jam in.
Jam in.
Ben, jam in.
Yeah.
So anyway, yeah, I'm officially retiring from all communication.
I'll never be talking to anybody ever again.
And if you've ever gotten a message back from me on Patreon,
you'll know exactly how I wrote the message.
Oh, we know Tony's like.
It's just how I chat.
It's like casual and it's very Tony.
And he just copped at full force.
Like, and he, yeah.
Poor Jamin.
Yeah, poor Jamin.
Fuck, I hope he doesn't listen to the podcast and he's just heard that.
There's no way he listens to the podcast.
No, he doesn't listen to the podcast.
If he listens to the podcast, it would be fine.
Yeah.
Anyway, I've got a you'll have to see it here to try and bring us back to life.
Katita sent this through on Patreon, actually, and I replied at a-
G'day, Katita.
I hope you had a fucking mad weekend, you mad dog.
Yeah. Katty, I call her for... G'day, Katita. I hope you had a fucking mad weekend, you mad dog. Yeah.
Katty, I call her for sure.
Hey, Tony and Ryan, I'm a tarpa since November,
and I managed to actually get through all the episodes
in three and a half months.
Wish I could whistle.
I'm just blowing it.
Thanks for making my early morning shifts more bearable.
I love laughing at your jokes early in the morning.
It really makes my day.
My love to see is discovering your podcast
and getting my permanent residency in Australia in the same week.
Big week.
It's my start the fucking blog,
especially after fighting for my visa for almost four years.
Yeah, visas are fucking.
Well, it's just all that paperwork.
Isn't it all that admin?
Yeah.
Katita says, keep being awesome and come to Byron Bay soon.
If we fucking have to.
If we fucking have to.
Right?
Have you ever been to Byron?
No, I haven't.
Feels like a bit of me, though.
Does it?
What part of it?
Oh, no, I'm not cool enough.
Which part of it?
I just feel like it feels like a bit of me.
Which part?
You're all looking at me like, no way, but.
I don't, but which, what were you referring to?
Oh, just like, because I'm a bit like cool
like small town girl, you know?
Like I'm just like cool, I go the flow
like, and I just think that like, that's me.
Have you heard this episode
of The Pot? It's a bit manic,
isn't it? There'll be a few jammies up there.
Oh, yeah, there would be a few.
They go by Benny there.
There'd be Benny there. Do you know what I mean? So maybe I'd fit in because I've already got a name. Oh, actually though, but because there's be a few. They'd go by Benny there. There'd be Benny there.
Do you know what I mean?
So maybe I'd fit in because I've already got a name.
Actually, though, because there's now like.
It's rich people there now.
So I definitely wouldn't fit in.
I think there'd be a few Benjamins like influencer boys who are fancy
and be like, it's Benjamin.
It's actually Benjamin.
You've got to be careful where you step up there.
I just also shouldn't have disrespected the way that he asked me
to call him Benjamin.
Like, that's just uncool of me.
You bullied him into that.
Yeah, it's really uncool.
Anyway, yeah, Byron Bay, that'd be good.
But you don't reckon I'm a Bay girl?
No, I'm just curious to know why.
Maybe you'd be in the spinoff of Byron Bay's, the reality show.
I would love that.
You would be a Byron Bay.
Thank you.
Morgan Blankers.
Hey, Morgs.
My son is turning one this week.
Congratulations.
And for his birthday party, I decided trying to make some dinosaur cookies.
Cute.
I've never attempted this before, but I'm super proud of how they turned out.
Have a look at Blankers' work.
Holy shit.
That's amazing.
It's like a little Dorothy and this next.
Dorothy's green.
Oh, who's purple?
Fuck it.
You're telling the story, mate.
Barney?
Barney.
I'm thinking of Barney.
Barney's like a bright purple.
It's like more of a pastel purple.
Okay, but have a look at these guys.
Little Tyrannosaurus.
That is amazing.
Stegosaurus there as well.
They're cute as fuck.
They're really.
First time.
First time up.
Morgan Blank is well blank and done.
Fuck me.
That's really, really cool.
Yeah.
On your blanksy.
Blanksy.
So we're all backing in nicknames now.
Is that what's happening?
What?
Do I sound like a fuckhead?
Benny Blanksy.
All right.
You know what?
We have to leave.
We have to get frappes and cheeseburgers. You know what? We have to leave.
We have to get frappes and cheeseburgers.
Legally, we have to go.
I think we're being cut off.
But we'll be back.
All right.
Apparently.
Maybe not, actually.
Fucking stay tuned.
We'll normal or nah tomorrow.
Normal or nah?
Tony being a person.
Tony, nah.
Yeah.
All right.
We fucking love you ya See you later
See you tomorrow
Bye