Toni and Ryan - The Boomer Bell
Episode Date: February 21, 2024Ryan is going to try and EXPLAIN A TIKTOK TREND that he READ ABOUT in an ARTICLE. It's good gear hehehe Toni xoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Gr...oup! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, best-selling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge, and we're going to Athens in Ohio.
Oh, they get me every bloody time.
Yeah. Seriously, that little strip of the US.
The Paris of the Southwest, isn't it?
Yeah.
Or whatever, the Europe of something.
The London of Georgia.
Yeah. And the Paris of...
Hello.
Hello!
Oh, Meredith!
Oh, Meredith, we're so sorry we were talking. It didn't even ring.
Oh my gosh, I can't believe it. we're so sorry. We were talking. It didn't even ring. Oh, my gosh.
I can't believe it.
I'm so excited.
Oh, Meredith, I'm really happy that you're excited.
What have we interrupted?
What are you up to right now?
I just pulled into my carport, so not much.
Haven't interrupted anything.
Oh, pulling in instead of pulling out.
That's what I like to hear.
Yep, that's how it works, I've heard.
That's what I like to hear. Yep, that's how it works, I've heard. That's what I like to say.
Now, Meredith, are you chuffed every time Tony pronounces your state of?
Ohio.
I love the way she pronounces it.
Yeah.
We didn't even go to Ohio.
We drove past Ohio.
We did, yeah.
No, I know.
I was in Nashville when you guys were in Nashville,
and I still beat myself up for not making it to see y'all.
Oh, well, what the fuck were you doing?
I know.
I fucked up.
I was just really hungover.
I was actually about to say that because Nashville,
we did an early meet and greet, and that was a mistake.
But we got in late.
So we saw, because I think there'd been like a few big sport games,
big football concerts the night before.
No, it was the Halloween shit as well.
It was Halloween.
Yeah.
And so a lot of people, to be fair, Meredith, a lot of people came in,
oh, yeah, we just came in last night to see you guys
and we just thought we'd have a quick beer and like fucking eight hours later.
Someone dropped an iced coffee at our meet and greet
and they started crying.
That is the peak hungover.
That genuinely happens.
So, Meredith, you are forgiven.
Yeah, I was like, I don't blame you for that at all.
That's on us.
Next time we do Nashville, meet and greet, 9pm.
Afternoon, yeah, because it's a party city.
Yeah, yep, fair.
9pm. We forgive you for that, Meredith,
but we won't forgive you if you don't approve this podcast.
So can we get started?
Oh, my gosh, of course.
There we go.
Thank God.
Let's go.
Stressed.
I'm Meredith from Athens County, Ohio, and I approve this podcast. All right.
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year.
I'm nervous.
Oh, no.
Because coming up today, I'm scared I'm going to sound like a 36-year-old father trying
to explain what the cool young kids
are doing on TikTok.
Oh, you know, that kind of energy.
Yeah.
So Tony, let me give you, I think the harmonica is stuck in the box.
Oh, I hate it when there's a harmonica stuck in my box.
And you have always said that, but when I get into it, I want to, similar to Riz, I
want to be on the same level as the cool shit.
But when you think it sounds like I'm starting to sound like an old guy
explaining the new guy, I need you to.
Oh, so.
It's like a warrant, like you're getting into boomer territory.
Would traditionally that maybe be a bell?
It would, but we don't have a bell in the office.
And would you believe it, Of all the Santa hats.
I was about to say, I refuse to believe someone went to audio school for four years and doesn't know how to blow into a harmonica.
Of all the Santa hats we've bought over the years, none of them have a bell on the top, like a Christmas hat that we could shake.
Sorry.
Actually, I regret giving you a prompt.
I regret giving you a prompt.
You know what?
I'm actually going to put that really far away from me for now.
When you suspect I'm heading down old dad explains young cool thing area, you just blow
that.
I mean, the irony of you being like, yeah, so when you think I'm sounding too old, just
blow this harmonica.
I mean, we've gone, the wheels are off.
Like, we've gone way past.
All right, that's coming up.
But first, normal or nah, thanks to everyone for submitting these
to the Tony and Ryan Facebook group.
Group.
I like that.
Peter Drury Mulholland.
Oh, Peter Drury Mulholland.
Of the Melbourne Mulhollands. That's better than the, was it Mulholland Drive Oh, Peter Drury Mulholland. Of the Melbourne Mulhollands.
That's better than the, was it Mulholland Drive, that epic murder?
Oh, I haven't seen it.
But the name sounds familiar.
I thought that that was like a soap opera, like EastEnders.
Oh, like Mulholland Drive is like a ritzy street in the hills of Beverley.
Beverley Hills, yeah.
Did you say the hills of Beverley? Yes. of Beverly. The Beverly Hills, yeah. Did you say the hills of Beverly?
Yes.
As they're more commonly known, yeah.
Some people say Beverly Hills.
Some people say that, but we were actually there recently
and that's what the locals say.
Isn't that like where the Charles Manson people used to live and shit?
No.
What's that movie with Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt?
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.
I'm pretty sure that's there.
Is it?
Yeah.
Isn't? Anyway, that's Peter that's there. Is it? Yeah. Isn't?
Anyway, that's Peter's Dad.
Oh, yep.
Yeah, from Drury Lane, otherwise.
Drury Lane, yeah.
Normal or nah, using your favourite song as your alarm on your phone
and then slowly growing to fucking hate that song
because it's the worst part of your day.
Sorry, I've just had a fucking blast from the past
of setting a song as your alarm.
Okay.
When I read that, I was like, can you do that?
There's a whole other thing to be spoken about there.
So is that a nah from you then?
Normal on starting to hate it because I remember, but this is really throwing it back to a Nokia 3315.
Yes.
And remember when you could have like monophonic
and polyphonic like ringtones?
I had.
She is the audio queen, guys.
You hear that?
It sounds smart.
The only song, but the ones that were like.
Yep.
Yeah.
I had like a powder finger song of one of those.
Oh.
Yeah.
I mean, give a girl a chance.
Nice.
It was on that song, but yeah, like, but that's basically what it was.
And that was my alarm because I was like, wow, edgy, powder finger.
And yeah, but and then I hated that song
Because it would go off every single morning
When you hear that song
Which song was it?
It was Till You Come
On the day you come
So when you hear the actual version now
Do you still get the shivers?
Oh yeah
Because I'm like oh it's time to wake up
Yeah
My sister had it as her alarm as well
So I'd be able to hear it through like the house.
I haven't set an alarm since Mabel was born.
Not required.
I've got a human real one.
A human one.
Yeah.
Have you, is there.
Got to get up early to do the podcast tomorrow.
Mabes.
And she goes, yep.
Oh dad, I'm all over it.
So dad, don't you worry.
I'll make sure you're up two hours early just to make sure.
Yeah.
Really?
Make sure you're awake to drive.
Safe.
And she's great at the snooze. Cause you quiet her down and she goes, I'll give sure you're up two hours early just to make sure. Yeah, really. Make sure you're awake to drive, safe.
And she's great at the snooze because you quiet her down and she goes, I'll give you nine minutes
and then I'm going to fucking sting you again.
I know that this isn't really your area.
This is more Tony area.
But has there been a time when you've kind of gone,
I better set one just in, like with the optimism
that maybe she will sleep through
and you will need one.
Again, I know this is more Tony areas of like a failsafe.
There has been a time where I've said it just in case,
especially if there was like a flight maybe or something like that.
Oh, yeah.
But for the most part, you're just like, she's got it.
Even if it's like set as default, she's still like not needed.
Yeah, right.
But thanks, Peter Drury Lane, Mulholland Drive.
Yeah.
Sorry about your family.
Yeah, fuck.
Yeah, the Kool-Aid, you know?
That's sad.
Chantel has a normal or nah about bars of soap, which makes me nervous.
Oh, I mean, the history.
There's history.
Yeah.
When the soap gets down to being so small, like you just use it and use it and use it.
Fucking red flag, bar of soap.
Anyway, keep going.
Yep.
I don't bother to throw it out.
I'll just like stomp it down the drain.
Normal or nah, asked Chantel.
Nah.
Why would anyone stomp anything down the shower drain?
It's called the waffle stomp for those playing along at home.
But why were you against that?
Why?
Well, I just.
You know how it gets so like if a bar.
Bars are so fucking old school.
Yeah.
Let's just put that right out there.
It is old school.
But like it gets to the point where it's like so small and annoying.
It's like, oh, this is.
I feel like I've seen online before someone who like the little bits,
they just like stick it to the new bit.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, like sandwich it on top of the new bar of soap and then.
And then on your way.
Well, yeah, and it's just like a never-ending soap.
Because I would just, I haven't done that,
but like I would, that's smart behaviour.
Yeah.
It doesn't matter how small it is and it doesn't matter how much little milk is left in the
carton.
I just put it back.
Yep.
Okay.
You fuck.
You would too.
All good.
You would too.
I also, isn't there just like some sick satisfaction of like using it all the way down?
But does it get to the, can you, can't just evaporate to nothing.
Well, but if you just like kept lathering it up.
It doesn't, say if it got like half the size, half the size, half the size,
like it's still only half, like it's still something.
But, oh.
I don't know.
I mean, maybe then it would get too slippery to actually like lather up.
Yeah.
Surely you just put, there's always a bin in the bathroom for like floss and,
you know, a tampon
or like whatever.
Toilet paper roll holder.
Yeah, like there's always a, surely you would just like pop
that in the bin.
Yep.
Yeah, no, fair call.
Don't shove it down the drain.
Surely that's bad news.
That's just washing the pipes.
Wouldn't it like foam up in there?
Yeah, it'd fuck shit.
Yeah, but it's already foamy if it's from the shower.
But a concentrated foam?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, like if you put a dishwasher tablet, like they dissolve, right?
But if you put a whole one down the drain, like that wouldn't be good.
I never get how you can put it in the plastic.
You leave it in the plastic?
But you know the plastic like dissolves?
Yeah, but I don't believe that.
It's plastic because we've been told landfill, 5,000 years,
doesn't disintegrate.
And then they go, yeah, except this one.
And you go, well, why isn't everything else made out of that one?
Have you ever picked one up when your fingers are wet?
No.
So once I made the dreadful error of like I'd been doing dishes
and then I went, oh, like I'd rinsed a bunch of stuff off.
Then I was like, I'll just put a dishwasher tablet in the thing,
picked it up and it just like turned to goo in my hands
because the water like, and it's quite cool actually
because you know how there's like three sections?
Yeah.
They have different thicknesses of the thing that dissolves
so that the right thing gets like released at the right time.
Oh, so the first thing goes first and then like.
Yeah.
Isn't that cool? Then conditioner. Yeah first thing goes first and then like. Yeah. Isn't that cool?
The shampoo, then conditioner, then Red Bull rub.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I believe that's how it works.
Yeah, that is how it works.
Yeah, great, great, great.
Finally, Shmoch Shmodgers has a normal or nah for pet owners.
Oh, I don't trust him.
No, I think that you'll like this.
Okay.
For once.
Okay.
Because Shmoch has a fucking.
Yeah, a history.
Again, this is.
A sordid history.
Yeah.
This is throwback normal or nah, for real.
Not doing anything because your pet is comfortable on your lap.
Normal.
You said you put the bins out.
Oh, yeah, but like he's sleeping.
The other day, Ryan, you were actually at my house and we were working together.
Yeah. And you said, can you come and have a look at this?
And do you remember what I said to you?
No, Pippa's sleeping.
She was tucked up under my leg and I was like, oh,
can you just bring that over here because Pippa's actually asleep.
But me and you went, yeah, I can actually.
So there was one night where Mabel was crying. We put her down and she's crying.
And then when you hear that sound, the parents will just look at each other.
You need to pick me up.
But it kind of like dad looks at mum, mum looks at dad
and there's a bit of like a bit of a standoff.
A bit of like a I went last time kind of thing.
Yeah, a bit of that energy.
And then BJ's like sitting there like with his,
just his head on my foot because he's on the ground.
And you're like, oh.
Yeah, and Bridget's like, are you going to get it?
And I was like.
The other baby is sleeping.
I'm taking care of one baby right now. Why don't you take care of the other baby is sleeping. I'm taking care of one baby right now.
You take care of the other.
Yeah.
Who's going to disagree with that?
Yeah, no, no one can.
It's the law, I think.
But even in her fucked-offness, Bridget was like,
that is the rules.
Play on.
Yeah.
I'm Meredith from Athens County, Ohio,
and you're listening to the Tony Ryan Podcast.
A massive shout out to a few of our favorite champion tarpers over at our Patreon.
That's Tarpers Tony and Ryan Podcast.
Emma, good on you, Emma.
Marissa Stinky.
Oh, stink.
Sorry.
Flamed that one.
And Alicia Vaughan. She hasn't.
She had a rough childhood.
There's no getting around that.
And yeah, nah.
Emily Pallett, good on you, Em.
Oh, is there a stink in here?
Nah, see, we can't add to that, can we?
Sorry, Marissa Stinky.
Sorry, Marissa.
We love you.
Emily Pallett, good on you, Emily.
And Chris Torres. Thanks, Chris Torres. Yeah. We love you. Emily Pallett, good on you, Emily, and Chris Torres.
Thanks, Chris Torres. As I
said earlier, I'm nervous, Tony.
I'm going to read this article about
a TikTok trend, but I am scared of having
36-year-old white
dad energy when I'm trying
to explain what the cool young kids are doing.
Do you know why that makes me nervous?
Because what if I don't know either?
Oh, I don't necessarily expect you to.
But you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, but you have a way of like, I just feel like I'll seem and sound older.
Yeah.
You've got a way of glossing over it and saying, I don't know,
and it just sounds fine.
Okay.
Oh, thanks for saying that.
The trend is when your card declines at therapy.
So you've just gone to therapy, you've gone to pay,
and your card declines. Yep. And this've just gone to therapy, you've gone to pay, and your card declines.
Yep.
And this is, again, reading the article,
because the only thing scarier about having your card declined
is where your card declines.
Now, Tuesday, just a few days.
Sorry, that's the bell for the boomer bell, I'm calling it,
even though it's a harmonica and Ryan is a millennial.
That's the bell for the Boomer Bell, I'm calling it,
even though it's a harmonica and Ryan is a millennial.
Now the Boomer Bell has a ring to it and I will play that.
And if there is something that I love, it's alliteration.
Yeah, it is.
So I'll allow it.
I will just like to ring the Boomer Bell,
even though Ryan's a millennial, for I was reading this article about a TikTok trend, not I saw on TikTok.
It needs to be called out, I think.
Well blown.
Thank you.
Well blown.
Thank you.
And you've always said that.
I'll acknowledge a good blow when I feel here one.
See one.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The only thing scarier than having your card declined is where your card declined.
Now, you learned during the week that you had an $11 purchase at a very expensive Audi dealership get declined.
So I feel like you...
And I was trying to be a really low maintenance customer as well.
Yeah, see, I read this and I was like, oh, no, I can feel it.
Tony gets this.
Tony gets it.
Tony gets it. Yeah. Now, I don't want to mis like, oh, no, I can feel it. Tony gets it. Tony gets it.
Yeah.
Now, I don't want to misquote you, so let me check.
Okay.
But I believe you said it was quite humbling.
It was quite humbling.
Yeah.
That's fair.
Is it fair to say?
Yes.
More humbling than cleaning behind the microwave?
Yes or no?
Oh, that's a great question.
Yeah, I think so.
And the microwave's not great. We all have to agree on that. Yeah. But more hum. Yeah, I think so. And the microwave's not great.
We all have to agree on that.
Yeah.
But more humbling nonetheless.
I think so.
Just because the guy with the toast.
You have to listen to the episode.
I want to go into the trend, but can I just stop for a moment?
Because I think I want to pitch a new segment on the fly.
Amazing.
And it's called How Are You Humbled?
Yep.
And I mean the alliteration again.
How are you humbled? How are you humbled? Yeah You Humbled? Yep. And I mean the alliteration again. Thank you. How Are You Humbled?
Yeah.
Humbled how to.
Humbled, comma, how.
Humbled how?
How humbled?
No, that's like a rating, the humbledness.
Humbled how?
Like humbled.
I got humbled.
Or Jenny from Melbourne says she got humbled.
Humbled how?
We'll say that.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah.
Melbourne says she got humbled.
Humbled how?
We'll say that.
Yeah, okay. Yeah.
We should just have this in the pod.
Now, another, fuck, I was going to put a disclaimer here.
Get ready.
We're like pro therapy and go get therapy.
Live your best life.
Disagree.
I wrote a book that says I don't need therapy.
We'll get to your book then.
That's on the list.
Yeah, pro-therapy, absolutely.
Yeah, but I just want to be clear on that.
We're both big users of therapy.
Therapy, yep, yep.
I'm a user.
Yeah, I'm addicted to therapy.
I just can't wait for my next hit.
I can't wait.
Sorry.
I'm imagining a situation where you're in a back alley and you're like,
yeah, mate, you hold it.
And then they have a square card reader and you're buying meth in the street
and it goes, card declined.
And the guy goes, sorry, mate.
You're in the red.
Could you be addicted to therapy?
And if you were, who would you say about that?
Who do therapists go to?
Other therapists.
But do they go to, like, is it a therapist's therapist?
Like, because you know what I always wonder is, like,
if you've got a tow truck when a car breaks down,
what happens when a tow truck breaks down?
Is it a tow truck tow truck?
A slightly bigger tow truck.
Oh.
But then what about that truck?
Then you get Taylor Swift's jet.
I'll fly you out.
Wow.
I guess the vibe is that going to therapy is like a pretty vulnerable moment.
Completely.
There's a lot of acceptance and maybe you've just had a big session where you've let it
all out.
Yeah.
And I'm 10 minutes into this thing. I'm still explaining what the trend is.
Yep.
I think the vibe is like I don't need to be humbled in this moment.
I already am.
Yeah.
I'm quite vulnerable.
I don't need my card to decline.
There's times in my life when I needed to be humbled, but this isn't it.
I need the opposite.
I need to be gassed up.
And I've already given everything I have.
That's what I mean.
I've left it on the field.
All my tears are back in that room, sweetheart.
Yeah, if you want some of them,
like there's probably a Kleenex in there with a lot of my DNA on it.
Do tears have DNA in them?
Yeah, surely.
It's come out of your person.
Does urine have DNA in it?
It'd have some identifying feature in it.
Maybe not DNA, but it'd have something that would.
Does it?
James is nodding.
Yeah.
Okay, enough.
Okay.
He's got that look on his face.
Yeah, I don't know about that.
He's got a look on his face like, do you want the half an hour answer?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's like, keep this brief.
I might just nod and not wade right in there.
Yeah, that's fair.
So the trend is when your card declines at therapy.
Oh, here we go.
Get it out, mate.
How much worse could things get?
Well, insert joke here, which would be for you,
the worst thing that could ever possibly happen.
Let me give you an example.
Fucking hell, yep.
possibly happen.
Let me give you an example.
Fucking hell, yep.
Logan, imagine your card declining at therapy and then your ex who dumped you because you were a poor loser walks in.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Because you're like, I'm humbled, then I card, humbled again,
and what could possibly go worse?
Oh, great.
Yeah, yep, okay, I get it.
I think but for both of us, great. Yeah. Yep. Okay. I get it. I think, but for both of us.
Yeah.
Tony, is it true your card declined at therapy,
so you head-butted your therapist in the dick?
Is that correct?
Did I read that correctly in your book?
No, that's not what happened.
I don't need therapy.
It's actually behind you over your shoulder for those watching along at home.
It is.
Yeah, so no, it wasn't because my car declined.
It was because, maybe this is worse, it was because my therapist broke up with me.
He dumped you.
He goes, you don't need to come here anymore.
I said, I think I do.
He went, no, you're fine actually.
Is it true that you said, no, I really do need to stay?
And he said, I'm moving to Canada.
Well, so.
Is that true or false?
So he's actually, he's actually broken up with me three times now, the same guy.
I, like, keep going back.
And he's like, fuck, this bitch can't take a hint.
If you move to Canada next year, he's going to be so fucked up.
Toronto or Vancouver?
He wouldn't even tell me.
He's like, oh, we haven't decided yet.
We haven't decided yet.
Way up the top.
In the coldest fuck bit.
You can see Santa from where I live.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's like, but not enough identifying features for you to find where I am.
And he goes, if you want to email me, maybe you could do that.
You can maybe email someone who cares at gmail.com.
And, yeah, and he's broken up with me again.
But the first time he broke up with me, I was like, oh,
thank you so much for everything.
And I thought I'd just give him a little gift, leave it on the doorstep.
So I bought a plant with a little gift, leave it on the doorstep. So I took it,
I bought a plant and with a cute little card that says like,
thanks for helping me grow like a plant pun.
And,
um,
and I was like,
I'll just leave this on the doorstep of his office.
And as I was walking up the office steps,
like to the front door,
I tripped on the steps in my fucking platform sneakers.
You'd think I would have learnt by now.
This was like five years ago as well.
Tripped up the stairs in my platform sneakers
and as instead of my head flying into the door,
which I thought was going to happen, I was like,
I could break my neck here.
He opened the door and was like obviously walking out like to get lunch
or leaving for the
day.
And I headbutted him in the cock.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
That's humbling.
Yeah.
He needs the tow truck truck now.
Ironically, you were back on the couch the next day and like, so Tony, what's troubling
you?
And you're like, that thing yesterday?
Yeah.
I'm going to have to deal with that for the rest of my life.
I'm paying by the minute.
Yeah. You can fill in the blanks of why for the rest of my life. I'm paying by the minute. Yeah.
You can fill in the blanks of why I'm here.
Marley.
Hi, Marley.
Imagine your card declining at therapy,
then your eight-year-old self walks in telling you about all her dreams
for the future.
I mean, that's fucked, isn't it?
Yeah, then you've got to look at the kid and go, yeah, we didn't do that.
Yeah, no, no, no, no.
Yeah.
Drank a lot of beers though.
And she's standing there with her card and she's like,
what do you fucking think happened?
Like, my card's just declined at therapy, babe.
What do you reckon?
Do you think those things you're dreaming of would occur
and lead me to this moment?
If I've, yeah.
Oh, and that doesn't, oh, that's a real,
that's not nice to remind us of.
Judd.
Oh, they get worse.
Actually, we should have finished this break on a high.
There were some highs there.
Yeah.
Pass them and it doesn't get better.
Judd, imagine your car declining at therapy.
Then they bring in the girl who never broke up with you.
She instead just introduced you to her new boyfriend and said,
this is my friend in the introduction and we never talked about it.
Oh, my God.
Imagine if you came into work and I was like, oh,
cause Rebecca from last week who works at that store.
Yeah.
Like imagine if me and her started a podcast.
Oh, her name was Courtney.
Oh, who's Rebecca?
I don't know.
Oh, who is Rebecca? So imagine Courtney. Oh, her name was Courtney. Oh, who's Rebecca? I don't know. Oh, who is Rebecca?
All right.
So imagine Courtney.
Oh, my God.
You rock up to work and I go, oh, Tony, this is my podcast host.
Courtney.
Fuck.
If you say Rebecca again.
I go, Tony, this is Courtney, my podcast host.
And you go, okay.
And you go, did you want to do a podcast?
No, all good.
And we just never talked about it ever again.
And you know what?
I'd never ask.
You wouldn't.
I wouldn't.
I'd just be like, oh, the silhouettes on our logo look a bit different.
Yeah.
Thinner face.
Yeah, thinner face.
She's looking great.
Yeah, I look good.
Oh, that's not me.
Yeah.
And just never talked about it.
Fuck.
It's like being ghosted but in real life.
What's her name again?
Not Rebecca.
Oh, Courtney, this is an old friend, Tony.
This is someone I used to do a podcast with.
Can you imagine that?
Could you imagine?
Can you imagine if I got home from work and Torbz was like,
oh, this is the person I now own this house with.
You kind of.
Yeah, but can you still pay for it?
Oh, okay.
So Judd's been in therapy for that for a while.
Yeah, Judd.
And you know what, Judd?
Fair enough because she sounds like a bitch.
Well, it just sounds like the worst situation.
Well, I'll tell you what's worse.
Your card declining at therapy and that chick and her new boyfriend
walks in and goes, oh, hey, what's going on, Judd?
And finally, this is not a good thing to end on.
I regret this whole segment.
Get the harmonica ready because it's going to need some committee.
I'll do a little ditty at the end.
Actually, I'll play this out.
We won't react because when you hear it, you're not going to want to fucking say anything.
Oh, no.
But see, that's when you need to say something.
When you don't want to say anything, that's when you need to.
But what if I just say it and it's going to be cursed and then you just play the harmonica
and then we'll play the You Love to Seat music?
Okay.
A musical interlude.
Maddie.
Hi, Maddie.
And sorry, Maddie.
Sorry, Maddie.
Imagine your card declines at therapy and they go, oh, that's a shame.
Just come with me into this room full of mirrors with the scales in it. Wouldn't that just fuck you right up?
Wouldn't that?
I know the music's on that, Tony.
The music, yeah.
What do you love to see, mate?
We have to leave that in the past like Judd's girlfriend.
What do you love to see?
I've got a you love to see? I've got a, you'll love to see
here from Gregory who's shared this,
actually sent it to us in a message
on Patreon. Sorry, if I can get there, bitch.
Do you want to have another crack at that, mate?
Gregory
Fulbright sent this to us in
nah, okay, fucking hat trick,
bitch. Gregory sent this to us
on a message.
So, you know the other day I was kind of talking about random sayings
and, like, what you say to people and, like, Aussie sayings
and, like, how you tell someone to get fucked.
Gregory said, I was listening to that episode
and I needed to tell you that my father-in-law just started telling people
to go fuck yourself and name the child after me.
Give me one. Name the child after me. And he's very proud of his new saying.
That is great.
It is good.
And it's just so aggressive.
And it's a thinker.
The thing that you need when you're trying to, like, stump someone is you need, like, something that makes them go,
carry the ones, twice removed, name it after me.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
That's good.
Yeah.
You need someone that you're arguing with to praise you.
Yeah.
You need them to go, nice.
Nice.
Yeah, high five.
That's an insult.
So good.
I'll actually cop that.
And I said to Gregory, do you mind if I share that on the pod?
And he goes, my father-in-law has never been more excited about anything in his life.
Gregory's father-in-law, respect.
Nice.
That's fucking sick.
I love that.
Yeah, it's very, very good.
Reminds me of, there's like a famous cricket sledge.
They call it sledging in cricket, which is like trash talk.
Yeah.
And so this guy comes out to bat and one of the fielders goes, oh,
how's your wife and my kids?
And a few of the fielders are like,
oh, you know, kind of laughing. And the batter just turns around
without bling goes, wife's great.
Kids are idiots.
And then just like goes and makes
a hundred runs. And you'd think that
the other guy had won. Yeah. And he just goes,
oh mate, I'm living with those kids and they're all fuckheads.
Yeah, just like you.
That is good.
I like that.
Yeah, I love that.
Chili has sent in, and you'll love to see it.
Hi, Chili.
I actually said to Bridget last night, because I love this one.
And I go, oh, I've got to love to see it from Chili.
And she goes, oh, there's people listening over there.
And I was like, no, that's just their name.
Oh, that's good from Bridget. Accidentally good from Bridget. I reckon I might cry reading this. And I was like, no, that's just their name. Oh, that's good from Bridget.
Accidentally good from Bridget.
I reckon I might cry reading this.
And I reckon you might as well.
Because you've had some chili.
Yeah, because of the spice in the air.
My love, it's actually quite a funny sentence.
But then, you know how you have a rescue dog?
Like people have rescue dogs?
Yeah.
My love to see it is my rescue pony.
That's what she said.
Literally, yeah.
She said, I got Bo for...
Bony.
Bony pony.
I got Bony for one pound and a bottle of wine.
She was neglected and had been living in filth for two years.
She's only four years old herself,
and she kind of didn't really know how to be a horse.
You know, it's like never kind of.
Yeah.
And if you didn't grow up with other heese,
I'm guessing that you don't know how to,
if you don't know how to horse and you haven't been with other heese,
you don't really know how to do it.
Is heese plural for horses?
It is now.
One horse, many heese.
One pony, many heese.
Heese. May she rest in peace. One horse, many heese. One pony, many peace. Peace.
May she rest in peace.
One chili, many cheese.
But I can report, with a lot of tender loving care, some good food,
a lot of patience and gentle handling, not only is Boney doing really well,
she's now a therapy pony for troubled kids.
Thera-pony.
Thera-pony.
Come on, Chilly.
And looking a million dollars, I'm so proud of her resilience and desire.
So when there's kids having a rough time, they're like,
I do want to go meet the pony and play with her
and it just chills them the fuck out.
Like when my dog Bron is a bit rattled,
we go and see the horse up at Kangaroo Ground and they're friends.
And look at it.
There's the before pictures and there's the after pictures.
Bony was bony. Yeah, but look's the after pictures. Boney was Boney.
Yeah, but look how good she looks.
She looks a million bucks.
Look at that really shiny coat.
Oh, she looks beautiful.
That mane.
Oh, I'd pay to braid that mane.
You know when you see a pound on a bottle of wine,
I think was the going price.
Oh, you do love to see that.
A rescue pony.
A rescue pony.
And Chilly, beautiful story.
And what a great human you are.
Great job.
That's awesome.
Oh, you do love to see that.
I do love to see that.
I do love to see that.
Have a great day, everyone.
Tomorrow is a video show.
Yeah, and there's a cheating scandal that's occurred in my life.
And is it Rebecca?
No.
Courtney?
Fuck.
Well, yes.
That's not looking good.
Multiple cheating scandals on the show tomorrow.
It's going to be an extra long episode.
Yeah, settle in, folks.
All right, we'll chat to you then.
Love you.
Bye.