Toni and Ryan - The Chicken Wing Scale
Episode Date: September 5, 2024[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] WE HAVE CREATED.... THE WINGTER SCALE. We've got wings, new friends and HOW 'BOUT DEM HAWKS! Love you!!!! Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and... make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge.
And we are calling Jill, who may or may not be at a Phillies baseball game right now.
You don't mean Jilly's baseball game?
Yes, that is correct.
Jack and Jilly's.
Jilladelphia.
Oh, Jilly cheesesteak. Oh, couldn't you just go a Philly cheesesteak at the moment?
Oh, wait. Name and time when you could.
Literally always. Yeah, true, true, true, true, true.
What a stupid question for me.
Hello?
Jill!
Tony and Ryan, how you doing?
Hi!
I'm great.
I was just asking.
I think that you were right, Ryan, that she definitely had a sport game.
Are you at the baseball and do you approve this podcast?
I am at the baseball and I do approve this podcast.
We cannot hear you, so we hope that was a yes.
Hi, it's Jill from Philadelphia and I approve this podcast.
Welcome to this Mad Dog Sporting Podcast for men and mans.
T-Dog is my name to the day, obviously.
T-Dog and Donnie.
Yeah, Donnie and T-Dog.
Tonight, our Hawthorne Hawks are playing in the AFL Finals,
Australian Football League.
Yeah, they fucking are.
Now, we aren't a – spoiler, not actually a sports podcast.
We aren't a sports podcast.
Hawthorne, my team, was supposed to finish last – why don't you just fucking pump your brakes before you get on your high horse?
Because when you hear it, you'll understand it.
Well, all right.
My Hawks.
Sounds like Ryan's being stubborn.
If you didn't listen to yesterday's episode,
you'll know that everything's fine and we're all on board with everything.
And it's been 24 hours and we're all good.
It doesn't matter.
We're all fine.
We're all fine, apparently.
We're on the bridge.
Can't remember what was spoken about.
Our Hawthorne, my Hawthorne Hawks,
were supposed to finish
on the bottom of the ladder.
You know, goes and ebbs and flows is not really our time.
Then Tony Lodge comes on board as a supporter of the Hawks
and out of fucking nowhere.
All of a sudden.
Like a bat out of hell.
Like a bat out of hell.
Suddenly we're in the finals and I think myself
and every other Hawthorne supporter should be thanking
Tony Felicia Lodge.
I couldn't have fucking said it better myself, you know.
Yeah.
I reckon I single-handedly have lifted this club up.
Yeah.
The hawk's nest is at the top of the tree now thanks to me
and I've always, I've also dropped a lot of money
on hawkks merch.
Oh, they're going to say like on gambling.
Oh, no, no, no.
And they better win tonight.
No, that's absolutely not my vibe.
I've actually dropped a lot of cash on them Hawks tonight.
Yeah, I actually put a lot of money down.
I owe a few people some cash.
Yeah.
Nah, I put a lot of money into their fucking merch fund though.
Yeah.
Which I don't hate.
I'm not wearing any of it right now.
Yeah, but –
I've become a merch guy this year.
Same.
I'm for it.
It's never been my thing and even when people have asked
for Tony and Ryan merch, I'm like, oh, you don't like –
it's cool that people love it but I'm like,
I don't know if I would ever wear merch of another thing
and now I literally have like –
You're all merched up.
I'm a new person.
I'm wearing merch right now.
Feeling good.
So are you coming around tonight, by the way, to watch
the game? You still yet to work out when it's obviously...
Well, Sophie and I were chatting about maybe a carpool
situation. Oh, that's a great
idea. Yeah. Because then if I have too
many chicken wings, she can drive me home. Yeah.
Yeah, that's great. That bourbon sauce
get you every time. That's a great call. That is a great call.
My friend Tom is flying
in. We were actually going to go to the game, couldn't get tickets, so
he's flying in to watch it at my house.
Yeah, but he's a dog's man.
He's a dog's man.
I've got a few other friends coming around,
so it's going to be a bit of a festive night.
I think it's really fun.
Yeah, and we actually, it was Wednesday we decided
or the people voted that watching at home with friends
and food is the best way to watch the game.
Yes.
And we all agreed too.
We all agreed.
Now, next Friday we're doing a live stream.
Yes, on Friday the 13th.
Ooh, spooky.
There was chat.
I was like, hey, we could do a live stream from my house,
a bit of a pre-game, you know, live stream.
And I said to Bridget, oh, everyone's going to come around
and watch the game.
And she goes, oh, how fun.
I'll cook my homemade chicken wings.
Her chicken wings, yes.
Yeah.
And I said to Bridge,
yeah, yeah, because we're going to do a live stream and she
goes, oh, well, no, because I don't want
people to know my secret recipe.
Oh!
Yeah,
that's what I did. I was like, oh, I didn't realise.
Okay, Jamie Oliver.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, so
yeah, because she said that and yeah is anyone else fucking just like what we're supposed to be
family yeah no i but the the time oh so it's not me oh well am i all good? I feel personally offended by this. Well, she said no to the tapas.
Yeah, okay.
She said yes to me.
Where does...
Yeah.
Where does...
What's the...
Do you get to know?
Yeah.
Now...
Also, so I've never had Bridget's chicken wings.
You and I have made chicken wings together a few times.
Yeah.
But I've never had Bridget's.
Are they different from the ones that you make?
Yeah.
Like what are they?
Obviously no recipe but describe the wing for me because there's obviously
like on the Richter of wings, the wink to scale,
which has historically been known as the wink to scale.
So I would say that on the part of that.
Sorry, I'm going to need a moment for the wink to scale. Sorry, all right. You let me know when you're ready to scale. So I would say that on the podcast. Sorry, I'm going to need a moment for the wink to scale.
Sorry, all right.
You let me know when you're ready to go.
We already know the title of today's episode, so how good is that?
You let me know when you're ready.
We'll talk about the wink to scale.
No, please don't.
Actually, for anyone that said that was Sophie asking
for admin question, how do you spell wink to scale?
I'm going to figure that out later.
Yeah, sounds like a later asked question.
Spoiler alert, everyone that's looked at the title of this
knows what the answer is, but we don't yet.
Time zone chat.
The craziest thing about podcasting is that you know before we do.
Yeah, we never know.
So, Tony, on the wink to scale, can you tell me like what one end
of the wink to scale would be and the other end would be?
What's the scale here?
So I think that on one end of the Winkta scale would be like a... Maybe it's actually more of a pyramid.
I can't hear the word pyramid without scheme.
Okay, all right.
Who's getting fucked here?
All right, the Winkta scale. In the middle of the scale pyramid without scheme. Okay. All right. Who's getting fucked here? All right. The Winktascale.
Yeah.
In the middle of the scale.
Yeah.
This is our zero.
And that is a salted and a peppered brined chicken wing.
Yep.
Pretty standard.
Could dip it in anything.
I think that's fine.
On one end of the Winktascale, you've got a really saucy wing.
Yes.
Okay.
Then back to zero, the've got a really saucy wing. Yes. Okay. Yes.
Then back to zero, the salt and peppered wing.
On the other end of the wink to scale, I'd say you've got a breaded,
deep fried kind of real crunchy, crinky wing.
Yeah.
And I think, do you know what I mean? Does that sound about right?
So Bridget's is, so you know how you can get a bowl and it's like covered in the buffalo sauce and whatever,
which would be the saucy end of the wing to scale.
Saucy end of the wing to scale.
Bridget's is slightly to the drier side of the middle.
Drier of the middle.
Yeah, okay.
So they are really crispy, like really crispy.
Okay.
But it's not a deep fry.
No, no, no.
It's a crispy bake.
Extremely crispy.
And I think.
It's a bake, isn't it?
There's the ingredients that make it extra crispy,
which is the secret.
And then she brings them out like on a tray and then you have
the little bowls of like the hot sauce, the buffalo, the ranch.
So they come crispy and then you're like.
Yeah, okay.
Yep, so just to the left of the middle.
Yeah, but they are so crispy.
But they're baked, aren't they?
Like in the oven.
They are oven, yes.
They're not deep fried. They're not deep fried, which is the other end of the whip to scale.
They're baked.
They're baked.
And the way she gets her, it's not even the chicken,
it's like the skin and the crisp is where the secrets are held.
Yeah, that is where the secrets are.
If you want to say in the comments on YouTube or the episode thread
in Facebook, wherever you are, that you're offended
by Bridget gatekeeping her crispy.
Doesn't she want everyone to enjoy life?
That's what I would have thought.
The way she went from how fun to no was.
Shocking.
And she was pro-livestream.
She was pro people coming over.
She's like, I'm happy for people to come over.
I'm happy for you to livestream from here, however.
She went, oh, if you're going to livestream,
I just won't do the wings.
No secret chicken.
And as I look down the barrel of the camera, Tarpers,
you have changed my life in ways that I cannot describe without crying
because it's-
And hers.
Might I add?
The Tony and Ryan podcast community has been one of the best things
that's ever happened to my life.
But given the choice between you and wings tonight, you did not win.
There will be no live stream tonight and wings will be had.
And you can do with that information what you will.
Maybe I'll be a man on the inside.
I'll go and eat the wings and then I'll tell everybody.
You're going to out my wild wings?
My wings.
All right, new title of episode.
My wild swings.
Fucking hell.
No, I would never do that to Bridget.
You know what?
We've all got to have our convictions about something.
And if her conviction is this, new episode title.
Convction.
You've got to have courage and you can winctions.
And I've always said that.
Boom.
Now, Tony, how do you feel about the concept?
I can't hear any words without putting the word wing in right now.
I'm trying to put wing into the words.
Yeah, you have to, yeah.
Oh, sorry, my phone's winging.
Hope the Hawks have a wing tonight.
And they're a bird as well.
What position does Dan Brosio play?
Wing defence.
Just wing.
Oh.
Wing attack, that's netball?
Yeah.
Oh.
Tony's just making it up as she goes.
Yeah.
I'm really winging it.
Hi, it's Jill from Philadelphia, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
and a massive shout out to
sorry we're just coming off a wing
high
about champion tapas over at our patreon
we've got heaps of exclusive stuff
over at our patreon in fact all of the
names that you're seeing scrolling across the bottom if you're
watching on youtube from all the
tiers of our patreon but if you're the people in our championship tarpa tier uh renee romine
good on you renee that was fucking hot wasn't it championship tarpers championship tarpa tier
nah that's not a thing huge if true you're hearing about it now for the first time kira orsini
either one uh rachel good on you taranga rad victoria mancuso. Rachel, good on you. Taranga Rad, Victoria Mancuso, and Izzy, good on you.
Thank you very much.
Big butter, but you can't do without her.
I was actually planning on talking about
TARPA's family secret recipes,
but we got carried away by the wings, which is great.
It's a great thing to get carried away.
What do you mean?
You weren't planning on the wing to scale being created.
You weren't planning on a moment in history happening right before your fucking wings yeah
so i was thinking about what we talk about today and tony will probably invent the wink to scale
allow for a few minutes there um hold for laughter yeah for effect um if you've got us that's actually
very funny i'm actually hilarious just asked chatPT in yesterday's episode about the roasting,
which we're definitely over and won't bring up again.
Because you roast a wing.
And how.
If you have a roast chook, the wings on a chicken aren't ever good though.
Like I hate the wings on a roast chook.
Yeah, soz about it.
I'm a great person to eat a roast chicken with because I don't like the wings.
I do like the parson's nose though, the little arsehole.
Yeah.
Come around and have a roast with us.
You can have the thick breast and I'll have the wings.
This might fucking throw you.
I'm a drumstick girl.
You just said you didn't like the wings.
On today's episode of Tony Discovers Things.
No, I think you're about to discover something.
Is that not the wings or the legs? The drumstick is the leg.
The wing is the wing, you dumb.
No, the wings of the running.
Running wings.
Oh, today's podcast, Ryan discovers things.
It's usually you discovering things.
Your face said, I just learned something.
No.
And the thing you learned was that I was a dumb ****.
But you already knew that.
You can't learn something you already knew.
You can learn the same thing 45 times.
Yeah.
So the drumstick's not the wing, obviously.
Well, they're all wings.
All is fair in love and wing. Nah, it's not the wing, obviously. Well, they're all wings. All's fair in love and wing.
Nah, it's not.
If you've got a story about a family secret recipe,
put them in the comments of the episode thread,
and next week we'll do a segment that I already had prepared,
just like the secret wings.
My mum once got chewed out at a fucking family barbecue.
That's not a euphemism. For a secret recipe.
I'd actually rephrase that.
Yeah, I won't be.
I'll tell you about that next week.
Fucking chewed out at a family barbecue.
Can you please don't never say again my mum being chewed out.
I just.
God rest her soul.
I just had some water to like
try and like calm myself down
and I've just
sorry
okay
because you're thinking about your mum getting chewed out
so I was like please stop saying it
and you kept saying it
yeah but
fuck dude I don't like it anymore That's why I was like, please stop saying it, and you kept saying it. Yeah, but.
Fuck, dude.
I don't like it here anymore.
First I discovered I was a. When you thought that a chicken wing was the leg.
First I discovered I was a dumb c**k, and then I heard about that.
Beep that.
Yeah, let's take it. You have a sip of that i'll have a sip of this coffee that's been sitting here a bit too long all right you know when you walk in somewhere yeah or you meet someone or you get
introduced to a new group whatever and you just go oh i found my people like yeah i'm where i'm meant to be or like how have i lived without knowing this kind of thing
um like immediately you just know you found a like-minded soul yeah even if you're just like
i know that this isn't really your area but you know how you hear those stories of people like
talking to someone at the shop and then or like first i had a new job and then they're your friend
forever like i've got so many really good friends that I met.
Why am I not into that?
I meant the one at the shops.
That's not you.
At work, though, it's different.
Well, because you wouldn't just chat to someone at the shop.
No.
I probably wouldn't.
Especially about Tim Watson.
About?
Does he have a desk?
Channel 7, who has a desk, maybe.
But?
Don't know what pants he wears, so don't ask me. All good. Does he wear shoes desk? Channel 7 who has a desk maybe. But. Don't know what pants he wears so don't ask me.
All good.
Does he wear shoes?
Not sure.
Well, sometimes you just.
You click.
You know.
You just know or you just think, oh, I'm in the right spot right now.
Like this is like, what's the word?
Serendipity.
Speaking of serendipity, when we met that first time
and the first thing you said to me was I'm not having a great day
because there's a pimple on my vagina,
did you think then and there that like we were like on the same wavelength?
Not like we were going to start a pod and do this thing,
but like was there an instant kind of like, oh, we get each other?
Well, I felt pretty comfortable with you.
You know what I mean?
Like I think that speaks a lot.
Because I roasted you about your mum.
Well, so that was another thing is that like when someone mentioned something
about their mum and I was like, oh, well, like,
it must be nice that my mum's dead and you said at least
she got to meet yours.
And no one had ever had something to say back to that.
Is it?
I was like, I fucking met my match here.
I like that.
I was like, I like that. Is it? I was like, I fucking met my match here. I like that. I was like, I like that.
Do you reckon it was like an unofficial like test of a new employee?
A haze.
A haze.
So Tony would drop that joke on the new person at the office
and they would, I'm assuming, every other person went.
Oh, and poo in their pants.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then you go, oh, good, I'm just fucking with you.
Yeah, yeah.
And then I just went bang and everyone in the whole Jason PJ thing just went.
It was so quick as well.
It was so quick and it was also like it was shame on me.
Yeah.
Because it was like, oh, nothing to say.
Yeah.
You know?
I've never heard Tony shut the fuck up in the three years she's worked here.
Yeah, and that was actually exactly how it went.
Serendipitous.
I think immediately there was like that respect.
Yeah. And I think that immediate was like that respect. Yeah.
And I think that immediate respect is maybe more what I'm talking about
than an instant love connection, but there's that respect immediately.
Instantly.
No, I don't think that's true, but we did get along well.
Yep, that's very true.
So we talked about in London when we were there about how I rode an e-bike.
Yes, we did.
And that we kind of like joked around and I was like,
oh, yeah, I bought one and it's on the way to my house.
Well, I did actually buy one.
I think I actually put on LinkedIn, ladies and gentlemen,
Tony saw an e-bike today so she's going to be purchasing one immediately
and therefore won't be buying the Foxtel Media Group or something.
Yeah.
So I'm going to show you a little picture of it because it's really cute.
Tony is a buyer.
She sees, she liked, she came, she saw, she conquered, she purchased.
And I just get excited about who the new Tony could be
when I think about these things.
Anyway, I'm going to show you the bike.
This is it parked in my lounge room at the moment because the wind
and the rain is really bad at the moment.
I think this emphasises my point.
What?
Of, well, not my point, but like not only did Tony buy a bike,
the fact that you can readily go, here it is on my lounge room
for a photo shoot.
No, no, no.
It's in there because it can't be anywhere else right now
because the wind and the rain is really bad,
so I can't leave it outside.
But I just love that it's like this is who we are now oh yeah to the house
i've got a lounge room i've got to take a photo i don't think it's going to stay in the lounge room
there's is this going to be on you people can see it as well yeah yeah we'll probably pick a
different photo to put on the actual episode maybe clean clean the rest of your house. Yeah. Yeah, it looks a bit crook.
There's two baskets.
Yes.
A front and a back basket.
A front and a back.
So, maybe one and paper in the other?
Yes.
Yep.
It's a beautiful bike.
Thank you.
So, it's black.
It's very me.
It's really like plain, whatever.
Love it.
Anyway, and so.
Plain in like it's not extroverted with colour, but it's not plane.
It's like sleek.
It's sleek.
Yeah, it's hot.
I think it's quite a chic bike.
Yeah, but that's what I mean.
Plane implies like.
It's like.
Nah, it's like.
From London to New York, it's a New York bike.
It's a bad boy of bikes.
Yeah, it is a bad girl.
Bad girl.
That bike would wear a leather jacket.
It totally would.
It actually totally would. but i also um i bought
some smoky dokes do you guys remember those i take back the last what i've just said for 30 seconds
so i take it all back i bought multi-color i don't even know what smoky dokes are but the
fact they're called smoky dokes i'm gonna show you a photo of them because i sent them to my
sister they're like multi-colored beads and you put them on your spokes. What did we just say about the black?
And as you ride, it goes clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack.
You did not.
I did.
I did.
I did.
I mean, like on that beautiful, sleek black.
I know what I'll do.
Fuck it up.
I'll.
Anyway, so along with my brand new personality,
I had to go into the bike shop and get it measured up
and they service it and they show you how to add oil to the chain
and how to look after it and what to do if X, Y, Z happens,
all that stuff.
It's actually really cool.
So I went in last weekend and they serviced it all up
and then we walk into this and they're like,
oh, it'll be ready at X time.
Yep.
We walk in and it is packed.
Really?
This bike shop.
Is it, like, bike season or something?
Well.
Like, spring's coming up here in Australia.
Everyone's like, hell yeah.
That's a good point.
Maybe they've seen the LinkedIn post that Tony's got a new bike.
I'm a bike fluencer.
And everyone's like, if Tony's getting a new bike,
I should get a fucking new bike.
But because they, like, sell bikes, obviously,
they also do full services.
Yep.
There's like, there's two groups of people in this shop.
There's people who are in there picking up a bike
that's been in there to be serviced.
Yep.
And there's people in there picking out brand new bikes
or picking up a brand new bike.
And can you tell who's who?
You can tell.
You can tell the difference immediately.
What is it about? You just,
the confidence on the people that are buying
a bike is just unmatched.
Oh, because they've got this bravado of like
Well, they've got their passport
personality, but it's like bike
bitch. Yeah. That's what it's called.
They've seen bike bitch, the hashtag
on Instagram this morning and gone
Oh, I'm going to be a bike bitch.
We've got to come up with a new one.
So they're going in.
Yeah, let's not stick with that one.
Let's workshop that one.
Yeah, with a few workshop titles that are going on at the moment.
So, but everyone's jazzed because do you think they're like you
and they're not just buying a bike?
They're buying the lifestyle.
They're buying their future.
They're buying the person who they're about to become.
Also, Tony is a marketer's dream.
I've said that many times.
I fucking am.
But if you want to sell something to Tonyony just mention who the new tony would be if you had she had that
product and she's already bought it i've already i've already imagined who i'll be in the future
like it's just i've always been that way like my whole entire life aren't the people who are
getting it serviced are they already that person so they're also like a similar aura or maybe is theirs worn
off a bit like it's not a reality anymore and like i mean if my 12-month service yeah how'd you go
yeah the two times i wrote it yeah i wrote it once a year ago and like but now i've serviced it i'm
getting back into accounting but anyway you can kind of tell the difference because there's people
walking up to the counter and they're like yeah like here to pick up an order for lodge um like it's a bike service they go okay great and then there's people they like, yeah, like here to pick up an order for Lodge. Like it's a bike service.
They go, okay, great.
And then there's people that are like, yeah,
I'm here to pick up my brand new bike.
Like, you know, you can just tell straight away.
And then there's also people in the shop that are browsing.
And so I've already placed my order.
I've bought all my add-ons and all of that.
And I'm literally just waiting for them to like,
they're like turning all the wheels and making sure it's all fine
for me to ride it.
There's this girl standing right next to us and she's kind of been
like wandering around the shop like this and she's like interactive
where she's there by herself and she's got the new bike glow.
Yeah.
And you know what she's there for.
Yeah.
But I go, I don't reckon she's placed an order yet.
Someone goes over to her and they're like, oh, hey, like, can I help you?
That was so fucking helpful in the shop.
Hey, can I help you?
Like, how's everything going?
And she goes, oh, I'm so good.
I'm actually looking for an e-bike.
This is the one that I've seen online.
Yep.
And that's about my budget.
Yeah.
And he goes, oh, perfect.
You already know your budget.
And she goes, yeah, like, I don't want to spend any more than fourteen hundred dollars say or something like that like she she had a budget set and she
knew how much money she wanted to spend um anyway he goes oh let me just check on the computer for
you see if we've got that one in stock yep um or like we can get you to try another one for size
and maybe order that one in yep um and And she goes, okay, no worries.
And he goes, I'll be back with you one second.
He winds through the maze of people with bikes and kids trying on helmets
and all that, goes to the computer, and this girl's just standing next to us.
And I'm like, love that for you.
And I'm like, oh, my gosh, should I talk to her and be like,
should we go for a ride together?
Like maybe that would be so cute.
When you said, should I talk to her
I was already like that is crazy
Okay well I didn't
Spoiler
You didn't?
No I didn't
But the fact you thought go for a ride with her
Because I'm like well I don't have any cycling friends
Did you buy one or two?
I bought one
What about Torbs?
Sophie has floated the idea of a bike
What about Sophie's partner?
Well Sophie any update on a bike?
Do you want to do this?
Do we want to do this?
Okay, let me tell my story first.
Anyway, so this girl's just like, oh, yep, no worries.
And the guy goes over and we're still waiting.
And then he comes back over to her, back through the maze,
comes back over and he's like, hey, oh, so I'm really sorry.
Like the bike, the specific one that you want, we don't have.
We've got one that's similar so you can see the size,
but we could order that in.
And she goes, oh, how long will ordering that one in take?
And he goes, oh, I reckon we could have it here next week.
I reckon we could have it here next week.
And the universe split in two and I realised that I was standing right next to my soulmate because this girl goes,
out of curiosity, I want it now.
If I were to up my budget, what can I get today? Yeah i how do i make this happen i get today yeah and he goes oh oh
you've got a bit more budget to play with she goes not really but like how do i get the bike
i want to be riding a bike this afternoon i need a strike while the iron is hot i could be not a
bike girl this time next week i might have seen a baseball game by then and decided.
And gone by Mitt instead.
I might have seen someone walk down the street with a golf club
and gone, I'm actually playing golf now.
This time next week I'll have calluses over my hands
from driving 800 balls at the driving range.
I could have four kids.
Like, you really can't.
There's a skateboard shop next door.
Like, you're playing with fire.
I might be on four wheels instead of two.
As someone who runs a bike shop, they should know this.
You know what I mean?
This is their market.
This is the hour in their life they want a bike,
so cash it in immediately.
Have every bike ready to go.
Yeah.
And literally, so she says that and the guy goes,
oh, let me show you what else we got.
And I looked over at her and I was like, nice.
Like I was like, that is me in this bike shop not two hours ago
being like I'll spend more money if it means I get it today.
Maybe he did know who he was dealing with.
And he went, oh, we don't have the $1,400 but we do have the $7,000.
Yeah.
How much wiggle room you got, sweetheart?
But it was just, it was, I'm like, I'm seeing all these different kinds
of people and I'm like, you're just like me.
Yeah, fuck yeah.
And how long have you had it for now?
I've had it for four days.
How many rides?
Two.
Really?
Got it home and then went to ride it and I had to get the seat post cut down.
Okay.
So we ended up taking it back and getting –
Cut down.
We got that thing cut down.
How tall are you?
Why is it not designed for people?
It needed to go further down into the bike and it ran out of room.
Yeah.
Because the thing was – I put it on and it was like putting in a tampon.
Honestly, straight up.
And then – yeah, take a second.
Anyway, and then so Torbs took it back and then I took the bike again
and rode around the block.
Absolutely got made piss.
I haven't rode it since.
What do you mean made piss?
Oh, it was really hard.
It was hard?
I was so puffed out that I was like, I'm going to stop.
Isn't that an e-bike?
Yeah.
It's not a, it's not, an e-bike isn't what you think it is.
It doesn't have like a throttle.
It's not like.
Like so you push and it kind of feels like a push and a half,
each push kind of thing.
Yeah.
But you have to, if you stop pedaling, it doesn't keep going.
You have to pedal the whole time.
Right.
Yeah. It gives you a bit of a hoof, but it doesn't keep going. You have to pedal the whole time. Yeah.
It gives you a bit of a hoof, but it doesn't actually do it for you.
And can we get the two-sentence story of what the fuck's going on over here?
Yeah, what's going on with you, Sophie?
Well, I'm aware of the urgency of strike while the iron is hot.
Yeah.
So we did have a loose plan to go test them together
because we formed a little London chapter of the e-bike girl gang.
That's hilarious.
When did you plan on doing this?
What day of the week?
Yeah, like probably, so you've had it for four days.
We were going to do this six days ago.
Yeah, so it was loosely, like Sophie said,
maybe during our meeting on Friday,
maybe we could do our meeting in the car.
Guys, your meeting is not for fucking bike buying.
Look at all this content we could have gotten.
I was going to say, if you plan to go with Sophie on the weekend,
I heard she had a pretty good weekend last weekend.
But anyway.
Don't think they're open at 5 a.m. to sell a bike.
I can't wait.
Or if there should be any stage of riding.
I can't wait for Sophie to get a bike because we actually only live
11 kilometres away from each other
and I already Googled it.
11 minutes or 11 kilometres?
Maybe one of those.
There's no way it's 11 kilometres.
It's not one kilometre.
Is it 11 minutes though?
On a bike.
On a bike, yeah.
1,100 metres?
What's that?
1.1 kilometres?
Maybe.
It's 11 something.
But anyway, like it's pretty close.
I don't think I could get to you yet, Sophie.
Like I can't go very far.
No, I can get to Soph.
If you caught the train.
I'm starting really slow because I want to actually use it.
So I'm not because I was like this is what I do with stuff.
You don't want to blow your load.
This is what I do with stuff.
I gas myself and then I go that was really hard.
I need a break or like I don't want to get humbled again.
So with this, I'm just going to take it really easy
and build up my confidence because I've also never ridden a bike
like properly on the road since I was a kid.
How far did you ride in London?
I rode to and from the thingo.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it wasn't far enough that you were gassed, but it wasn't far enough that you were like,
I love the shit out of this.
Yes.
Because I remember when you walked in.
I got the wind in my hair and that was the feeling.
And I thought I could go for this every day.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
So I'm going to build up really slowly.
Watch this space, everyone.
And I've written down a list of all the places that I go every week
and like how far away they are.
So like to Pilates, I reckon I could start riding towards Pilates.
Sorry, exercising on the way to exercising?
Yeah.
Who is she?
So this is the thing, right?
I had to strike while the iron was hot and I really wanted the bike
and I was like, no, I'm really committed.
I need to get some more movement into my day because otherwise
I just sit at my fucking desk all day and I just don't fucking do anything.
And then all of a sudden it's the afternoon and I'm like,
shit, I haven't done anything yet.
So good vibes all around.
I love the shit out of the bike.
Can't wait for Sophie to get a bike as well.
But, yeah, I just thought when I met my soulmate in the bike shop,
I just thought that was – and I'm like pissing myself
over her being like, yeah, so, yep, all of a sudden
the firm budget is out the fucking window
and I'm wondering if there's anything I can do to get it today.
I wonder where she is today.
Me too.
She's probably cycling her little bloody tits off.
Good on her.
God bless her.
If you had to reach out and said hi, we would know.
I should have.
Yeah.
I should have.
I've got to love to see it.
Amazing.
And you know how I said earlier that I was planning on talking
about secret recipes?
Uh-huh.
Let's just pretend that happened.
Oh, great.
Because my love to see it is, you know how we were talking
about secret recipes earlier?
Yeah.
Well, Katie Baxter has a story.
About my mum getting chewed out.
Sorry.
Is it the anniversary today?
It's on Monday.
11 years since my mum died on Monday.
That's not funny, obviously.
It's like so heartbreaking, but like, shit, this is what she would have wanted.
It's not.
It's really not.
No, I think we knew that, yeah.
But is that like every anniversary you just think about all the times
she hasn't been to?
Ryan, how dare you?
My late mother, who was always on time.
Yeah, that's not what she wanted.
We told her she was running late.
Katie Bass.
She was always early.
I am not early.
She was early to the Grim Reaper by about 40 years.
Early to the grave, yeah.
How old was she when she passed away?
That's such a good question.
You probably shouldn't know that as well.
Sorry to throw you under the bus there.
No, no, no.
Well, 59 she was born.
So what's that?
She'd be 65 this year.
Yeah. And she died 11 years ago is that right can someone put on the screen the numbers and is that right 65 hang on 20 no no no 2024 minus my
fucking sister's gonna be watching she's gonna be like why don't you know 65 okay yep fuck you
no it's just a lot of numbers i didn't know which was yeah so she'd be
65 but she died 11 years ago she would mean 54 so very young yeah very young that's fucking young
that's too young anyway very very sad go back to fucking ding dongs you love to see it though
i can say ding dong it's really hard work for me
my mom wishes she could say ding dong so for those in her memory for those in patreon It's really hard work for me.
My mum wishes she could say ding dong.
So in her memory. For those in Patreon that are playing bingo, that was a ding dong.
It was a dingo.
Katie Baxter said all my recipes are secret because I forget them
because I'm a fucking idiot.
I've forgotten every recipe of my mum's as well because obviously she's not here to
share them with me
Did she take any recipes to the grave?
Well the recipe that she got chewed out for
She took it to the grave?
No
I would save it but it's so shit that the fact that someone yelled
at her about it is, like, hilarious.
Where are they now, the yeller?
They're dead too.
Yeah.
No.
They're buried next to each other.
Went down together.
Facing each other.
And your mum's, like, holding the recipe.
Yeah.
Fuck you. It's a mum's like holding the recipe. Fuck you.
It's a two-ingredient recipe.
That's what I'll say.
We'll talk about it next week.
I've got to get a laugh.
It's like, it's so laughable.
What is the two-ingredient?
Two-ingredient.
Like, it is.
I actually can't even, what's got two?
So what's your, how do you make a sausage and bread?
Yeah.
And then she goes, how dare you insult me like that?
And my mum was like, oh, what?
Like I just, I love this.
Like it's so yummy.
Sausage and bread.
How did you make this?
Well, I put it.
Oh.
Anyway.
Have you got anything you'd love to say?
I do. I've got it. I've got it. You'd love to say? I do, yeah.
I've got anything you'd love to say here.
Ayaka said, oh, my God, Tony, you know how when we tell people
we're from Australia, the typical conversation goes like,
oh, how many spiders have you seen?
Have you ever ridden a kangaroo?
What's the Sydney Opera House like?
Oh, shrimp on the barbie.
On two separate occasions, says Ayaka, I can't believe this.
On two separate occasions, I've told people that I'm from Australia
and they've instead of those things asked me if I listened
to the Tony and Ryan podcast.
Facts.
Well, for the first year of the Tony and Ryan podcast,
no one in Australia listened.
No.
And only overseas.
Yeah, a rare Melbourne tarpa. No. And only overseas. Yeah.
A rare Melbourne tarpa.
We had to stop saying that, though.
Once Australia caught on.
Well, no, after Hot Fun Garbage, remember,
and we were there all afternoon meeting Australian tarpas,
we were like, okay, not as rare as we thought.
Yeah.
But, yeah, a true piece of Australiana, apparently.
You're fucking welcome.
I love to see that.
I love to see that.
All right.
Sorry, this has been a bit off the Richter. Yeah. Like see that. I love to see that. Fuck, sorry.
This has been a bit off the Richter.
Off the wing to scale today.
Yeah.
Fuck, was that today? If you're watching on YouTube, we do the audio version of this five days a week.
And you've got 705 episodes back cataloged.
Three years of backlog to go through.
So thanks so much for watching.
Thanks so much for listening.
Have a great weekend.
How about them Hawks tonight? Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo. All right Thanks so much for listening. Have a great weekend. How about them Hawks tonight?
Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo.
All right.
Love you so much.
Have a great weekend.
Next week, secret recipes.
Tony's mum being chewed out.
Have a good one.
May she rest in peace.
And I shall well.
Love you, my.