Toni and Ryan - The Globe of Death

Episode Date: July 25, 2023

A real inside look into my brain... YA WELCOME! love u!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan....jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Bestselling, Dr. Author Tony Lodge, and we are calling Chase, who's in the US, I believe. Oh, we'll have to chase them down. Hello. Hey, is that Chase? Fuck yeah! I liked that. Hi, Chase. How are you? I'm great. How are y'all? Yeah, we're great. What have we caught you Chase. How are you? I'm great. How are y'all?
Starting point is 00:00:26 Yeah, we're great. What have we caught you doing? Where are you? I am in Greenville, South Carolina in the United States, and I'm actually on my way to the airport to pick up some artists for our festival season that starts tomorrow. Their flights got delayed, so it's almost midnight. Will you approve today's episode? 100%.
Starting point is 00:00:49 You! Yeah. Hey, this is Chase from South Carolina in the United States, and I approve your podcast. All right, coming up today. What do you think is a great excuse to not say hi to someone in public? Like you don't want to say hi? Or maybe like just why you think that what's acceptable. Like if afterwards someone went, oh, sorry, XYZ was happening.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Yeah. You know, when you kind of. I just avoid eye contact in the first place. Or that like classic one, like in the shops, like if it's the, like in the middle, if they're like spruiking a charity or a gym or paintball or whatever it is. you kind of like maybe a fake phone call or something like that maybe. Yeah, face down in your phone.
Starting point is 00:01:54 It's a hard one though because the other day I walked past like one of those gym things and it was them being like, oh, join the gym. And I was like pretending to be on the phone and they're like, oh, we know that you're listening. And I was like pretending to be on the phone they're like oh we know that you're listening I was like I'm not all right we'll um we'll get to that soon um but you know the other day we were discussing sausage sizzles whoa what just happened what were we discussing sausage sizzles yeah and it once again brought um what Australians call food into disrepute. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:26 Because apparently the rest of the world doesn't call it a sausage sizzle. What do people call it? A barbecue. Oh, yeah. I mean, we would still say that, but they don't use the term sausage sizzle. I'd call it a barbecue if I was doing it at my house. Yep. But I'd call it a sausage sizzle if it was a public sausage sizzle,
Starting point is 00:02:42 like when you go to vote. Democracy sausage. A school fate, a fundraiser. Yep, fundraiser. Hardware store on a Saturday morning. Hardware store on a Saturday. That's a sausage sizzle because you know they're only doing sausages. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:54 So welcome to Australia versus freaks, the food edition. Freaks. Non-Australian freaks call cook chooks rotisserie chickens. Who are they trying to impress? It's a cook chook. Yeah. Go fuck yourselves. Before we get right in, speed round.
Starting point is 00:03:10 McDonald's is just. Macca's. When you buy a pie from the service station, it's actually just a. Pie from a servo. And when you buy booze, it's not from a bottle shop, but just. Bottle-o. Don't waste syllables. The rest of the world.
Starting point is 00:03:23 What's hard about that? I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. Sorry. Don't waste syllables. The rest of the world. What's hard about that? I don't know. Yeah. Sorry. All right, Tony. Apparently, you know those icy poles that are kept in the freezer? They're long and skinny. Zooper-dooper?
Starting point is 00:03:40 Yeah. Yeah. The rest of the world doesn't call them zooper-doopers. They call them freezies. Yeah. The rest of the world doesn't call them Zoopa Doopas. They call them freezies. Oh. Fucking stay at home, rest of the world. Freezie. A freezie?
Starting point is 00:03:55 That sounds like a. That is so unoriginal. And it sounds like an ice cream headache. Oh, I've got a freezie. Or like, what about the other things in your freezer? Yeah, what are they? Then do you take chicken out of the freezer for dinner and then you go, oh, yeah, I've just got a freezer out.
Starting point is 00:04:09 Is everything that's frozen called a freezer? So the other stuff in the freezer is like, why do you get to be called a freezer? I'm just sitting here freezing my ass off being called a pie. And like, do you get a fucking, I don't know, cheese out of the fridge and you go, oh, it's just a fridgey. That's fucking stupid. What are you, calling your fucking dry rice a pantry-y?
Starting point is 00:04:33 I don't know if that's what that would call it. Yeah, apparently it is. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I hear you, dog. That's like for babies. Yeah. Do you know what I've heard before? Makes me want to gag.
Starting point is 00:04:45 Ice lolly. I don't like that. Isn't it just like the most childish thing you've ever heard? Oh, just have me a little ice lolly. What's ice lolly? I think that's also like an arse-y pole, like a zoopy-dooper. Zoopy-dooper. I don't like that.
Starting point is 00:04:58 Yes. No, no one does and no one should. And I'm glad we're bringing awareness to this. These aren't mashies, but little fried potato bits. Oh, potato jams. Freaks. Should we change the word freaks to fuckheads? Yeah, fuckheads is good.
Starting point is 00:05:16 Fuckheads call them tater tots. Oh, I don't get that. Nah. That's like the nuance from Hungry Jacks, how they're called gravy-tatoes. Yeah. Wouldn't you call them like gravy gems or something? Or just potato gems. And they're fucking delicious.
Starting point is 00:05:33 So good. They go so crispy. If you get really crispy ones, though, put a little bit of vinegar on top and then tomato sauce. Vinegar, salt and vinegar is like elite level. I don't know why people would say no to salt and vinegar at like a fish and chip shops. My boyfriend Torbs, he doesn't like salt and vinegar. He wouldn't, no.
Starting point is 00:05:57 He's that kind of guy. He wouldn't. But the vinegar, I don't know why it hits the potato gem's heart because you still get the crispy outside, then the inside it's really soft. And then the vinegar kind of just like makes it even softer. And then the tomato sauce brings a bit of sweetness. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:06:10 I was reading this recipe the other day and someone made like a mac and cheese or something. Yeah. And on the top of it, they did potato gems. And so it was like a crusty top of this mac and cheese. Real naughty, but you'd fucking wouldn't kick it out of bed. That's for sure. No, you wouldn't. That, wow.
Starting point is 00:06:30 Yeah. We could make that this weekend. We could eat that together. We should. Doesn't that sound good? That really does. In Australia, apparently the rest of the world freaks out about this, but this is fucking awesome.
Starting point is 00:06:41 Yeah. In Australia, we have sandwiches that just have butter and rainbow sprinkles. Oh, yeah, yeah. Fairy bread. And we serve fairy bread at children's birthday parties. Kids' parties. Apparently the rest of the world doesn't do this. That is ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:06:55 Fairy bread is so yum, and it's not really yum, but it's just good. No, I'd say it is really yum. But the thought of it is weird because it's not a sandwich. It's like a piece of bread buttereded and then you dip it into the sprinkles so it's colourful and pretty. And, of course, the bread is the cheapest white bread ever. There is no seeds.
Starting point is 00:07:15 There is no multiple grains. It's like sugar bread. Yeah. Sugar bread with butter and sugar. Yeah. And the fact that we consume this at children's birthday parties is probably the reason why our country is better than yours. Yeah. And the fact that we consume this at children's birthday parties is probably the reason why our country is better than yours. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:27 I can't wait until your daughter Mabel is ready for birthday parties. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to go fucking nuts. I'm going to be Mabel's official party planner for her whole life. Yep. Well, her first birthday party is 10 months away. Yeah. Oh, I've already got started.
Starting point is 00:07:43 I've got a Pinterest board on the go. Goddess Kitty, she's tweeted, just found out Australians eat something called a Jaffel. Oh. Which is a toasted sandwich that has spaghetti or beans in it. You fuckers are disgusting. Yeah, and it has to be like the spaghetti from a can. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Like it has to be like tinned spaghetti. Yeah, it has to have no. Tinned spaghetti is fucking good. It can't have any craft or taste to it. Oh, no, no, no. It can't be like a nice spaghetti bolognese or something. It has to be like the shit one from the can. From a can.
Starting point is 00:08:16 Have you ever had the spaghetti from a can that's got the little sausages in it? Because it's fucked, but it's good. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Would you do that in a Jaffel? Yeah, you would. Did you have a Jaffel? Oh, like the George Foreman grill.
Starting point is 00:08:31 Yeah. Yeah, but the Jaffel iron that's got like the lines in it. So it like cuts the sandwich for you. Yeah. That's actually good because it helps hold the beans in. Yeah, because it seals the edges. Whereas if you just do it on like a panini press, it'll just fall out the edges.
Starting point is 00:08:48 Yeah, you can do it yourself. And then what are you going to do? Like go home. Yeah. In Australia, a coffee hot chocolate hybrid is a... Mocha? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:00 But the rest of the world calls it a mocha. Oh. Like a mocha latte. Or like a mochacina. Yeah. Yeah. But the rest of the world calls it a mocha. Oh. Can I mocha latte? Or like a mochacino. Yeah. A mochacino. I just think you're trying to fancy up something. It's just fucking, tell it like it is.
Starting point is 00:09:16 It's a mocha. It's like the rotisserie chicken. It's like, are you trying to impress someone? Yeah. Are you on a date? It's a cooked chook. Get over it. And I won't apologise for that.
Starting point is 00:09:25 Final one here. You buy a packet of these crumb-covered seafood rectangles and pop them in the freezer. Fish fingers. I love fish fingers. You would. Also good in a sandwich, not going to lie. Very good.
Starting point is 00:09:41 What's something that's not good in a sandwich, according to Tony Lodge? Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. There is nothing in the world that isn't better than when it's between bread. And I wrote a book and that's in it. Yeah, I recall.
Starting point is 00:09:53 I think it's the first sentence. Yes, it is. So when you say also good in a sandwich, coming from you, that's just like a redundant statement. Oh, yeah. You see where I'm getting at? I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just like, well.
Starting point is 00:10:03 I just like to point it out in case people don't know. Okay. Apparently some freaks call them fish sticks. Oh, that sounds disgusting. It sounds like you're at a fair at a carnival and you just ordered a fish stick. It sounds like, you know, like seafood extender. No. Like, you know when you get like a crab stick from...
Starting point is 00:10:28 Yeah. And it's like that seafood extender fish. It's not actually like... What do you mean extender fish? What's seafood extender called? You know what I mean, eh? Seafood extender, yeah. Hang on, hang on.
Starting point is 00:10:38 The word extender in my mind implies if you've got, you know, this much seafood but you want this much, you kind of just like add flour and just mix it through to bulk it out. Is that what you're saying? I'm going to show you a photo of seafood extender. Am I about to find out crab sticks aren't made of crab? You know, when you see, that's what seafood extender is. Is it called extender?
Starting point is 00:11:01 It's called seafood extender. What is that? Or like seafood salad mix. It's like imitation. Just generic seafood. It's imitation crab meat, but there's no crab in there. Hang on. The last 36 years of my life, I thought I was being fancy and consuming crab.
Starting point is 00:11:16 Nah, it's called siremi is what the fish is in it. Yeah, it's baby sweetheart. It is not crab. That doesn't make me feel nice. That's a real shame, isn't it? Sorry about that. So what's in a fish stick or a fish finger? Well, so you know when you get a crab stick from a fish and chip shop?
Starting point is 00:11:37 Yeah. That's what's in it. It's seafood extender. It's not crab. I'm never getting. Yeah, and so when people say a fish stick That's what I imagine A crab stick because I'm like It's got that like plasticky
Starting point is 00:11:50 Seafood in it Tell you what gets me going and I would have on anything Seafood sauce Oh it is good isn't it Is that just mayonnaise and tomato sauce And that's it Because I was like what is this secret magic It's like two really common things just mixed together.
Starting point is 00:12:05 Yeah, I think sometimes the fancy ones have a bit of lemon in there, but you're kidding yourself if you think it's fancy. I'll get tomato sauce and some mayo. Feels a bit bogan. Yeah. Oh, Shaz, cut a slice of lemon and bring it over. Yeah, sweetheart, grab me the cocktail sauce. Yeah, and put it in a little jug.
Starting point is 00:12:22 Oh, yeah. You know when you get like a prawn cocktail from like a pub or something and it's got the little around the edge. Yeah. That is good though. And the like lettuce that you're obviously not going to eat. Oh, yeah. It's there for presentation and that's it.
Starting point is 00:12:33 Yeah, presentation. That's how I describe all lettuce. Yeah. Hey, this is Chase from South Carolina in the United States and you are listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. We absolutely love to see it. Thanks for being part of it.
Starting point is 00:13:05 Nasey Allen, thank you so much. Karen Ellery, Alicia Wilhelm, Zulma Brennan. Brennan. Brennan. You okay, mate? My first day. Nicola Flynn and Joe Keel. Thank you so much for being part of our Patreon. Absolutely love to see it.
Starting point is 00:13:20 Welcome. Welcome. Nine people in the last month have listened to the Tony and Ryan podcast from Nepal. Now, would this be Nepalese people or would this be like hikers passing through? And if you were scaling Mount Everest, would you pop in our podcast just to help get you up the mountain? I would love to hear if anyone's done that.
Starting point is 00:13:47 Surely you don't have headphones and you have to be concentrating and talking and stuff. Or is that the obvious place to put headphones in and just like... Well, yeah, if you just... Get into the zone and... I mean, I hate to undercut anybody that is able to go to base camp or whatever. Sounds like you're about to.
Starting point is 00:14:02 But you're just walking, aren't you? or whatever. Sounds like you're about to. But you're just walking, aren't you? So you know how sometimes you get to the office and I go, fuck, are you okay? What's just happened? And you go, I just walked up the stairs.
Starting point is 00:14:18 Rude, but yes. So imagine that, but like. Yeah, but like. We're on the first floor here. No, I'm not saying it's not far or it's not hard, but you're just walking. So surely that would be a great time to like have something past the time, you know? If you're one of the nine people who've listened from Nepal,
Starting point is 00:14:37 let us know if you are travelling through, hiking, or maybe you're just a local Nepalese person who just listened to the pod. Who enjoys listening to cooked chicken chat. I went to a Nepalese restaurant in all places in Bunbury. Oh, yeah? And it was incredible. Really?
Starting point is 00:14:55 Yeah. It's like one of the best meals I've had. Really? Yeah, 10 out of 10 recommend. Oh, maybe we should find a Nepalese place around us. Yeah, because you don't see many i don't yeah i've never seen one out yeah is one of those things that like confirmation bias thing where you go i haven't seen that before and then someone talks about it and then you see it
Starting point is 00:15:15 everywhere send through your nepalese recommendations yeah for melbourne that would be awesome please um what's a great excuse to not say hi to someone in public? Yeah. Whether you know them or not, in this certain situation, it was someone I know. Have you ever watched the show, the TV show Black Books, like the Dylan Moran show? A little bit. So there's this idea in one of the episodes,
Starting point is 00:15:43 and they talk about the power of the blank. So if you were to blank someone in public, that that is just like a really powerful thing, like a real power dynamic, like power play, like a Hamish Dandy power move. Power move. And what is a blank? So if you kind of saw someone, you both acknowledged each other,
Starting point is 00:16:03 and then you just looked away, that's a blank. So there's no like nod or kind of saw someone you both acknowledged each other and then you just looked away that's a blank so there's no like nod or no not just like just the blank stare and then a blank look away so blank so who have you been trying to blank dog i just i'd like to i guess put you into the mind of tony lodge please don't i can't it's chaos yeah i was gonna say i'll do my head in as i go into the mind of Tony Lodge. Please don't. I can't. It's chaos in there. Yeah, I was going to say I'll do my head in as I go into living at the circus. And I'm obviously, not obviously, but like I can get pretty anxious. Yeah. And I can overthink things at times.
Starting point is 00:16:38 When you said put in the mind of Tony Lodge, not only did I go to the circus, but you know when there's like three motorcyclists in the ball? Yeah. And they're just fucking going around and around and it's fucking insane. That's what it's like. Yeah. That is actually a great explanation.
Starting point is 00:16:56 Sorry, that word taken over. Yeah, it was a great explanation, but a horrible place to be inside. Yeah. Yes. Don't they call that thing like the globe of death or something? Globe of death. Tony Lodge. Tony Lodge's brain.
Starting point is 00:17:11 So the other day I was driving home from the gym and where my gym is like, it's kind of to get home, you go kind of. She's closing her eyes and looking up to sort of think about. How to explain. It's like a busy part. It's like South Yarra Paran. And so for anyone not in Melbourne, it's like a cool, busy suburb. And people like Tony and I aren't allowed to live there
Starting point is 00:17:38 because we're not hot enough. Oh, yeah. There's a hotness scale. There's a hotness scale. And if you go to just the supermarket, you're just like, fuck, I can't shop here. Not only because you're not good looking, but because it's expensive. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:51 Like literally you step foot into this suburb and everything's more expensive. 50% extra. Yeah. It's like hotness tax or something. Anyway. And so I'm driving home from the gym and it's like a really busy area and there's lots of businesses, lots of shops and lots of like uh what are those things called like um we work and oh yeah you know like work hubs things shared office spaces and whatever so there's like lots of people 2023
Starting point is 00:18:18 tony post pandemic she can't even name an office. What's an office called? So there's lots of people coming and going. You know those things where people go from like nine till five? Yeah, and like they work there. And they like have jobs. Isn't that weird? We're in one now. Like I'm in the office. Anyway, and so to get kind of back home from the gym,
Starting point is 00:18:42 it's normally getting to like the beginning of work time. So there's lots of people walking around trying to get to their, as we now call them, offices. And like they've got, you know, a cup of coffee, like a takeaway coffee and they're like on their bikes and walking and there's just so much going on. And to avoid that, I like drive down a back street to get to traffic lights. Local knowledge. Yeah. So it's way easier. traffic lights. Local knowledge. Yeah. So it's way easier.
Starting point is 00:19:06 It's a bit quicker. Yep. Anyway, I'm driving home from the gym down this back street and it happens to be by one of my girlfriend's work co-space offices. Yep. And we've kind of been like, oh, have seen on Instagram that you're training. Whereabouts are you training? And I was like, oh, just here.
Starting point is 00:19:25 She goes, that's right, by my work. You know how that's like something that people fucking say. You should pop in. Was there a pop in thrown out? Not really. And because like I think I actually said, you know, oh, like I'd stop by, but I'm always so sweaty after. Like there's no way I'd want anyone to sit, you know.
Starting point is 00:19:46 Even though you told a story last week about showering at the gym. Because I've just heard you're showering at the gym. So if you're not sweating anymore, you should just pop in. Did you want to pop in? We've got a WeWork. It's got an espresso machine. Isn't it weird the thought of like popping into someone's office like these days? They feel like back like pre-pandemic, you would probably go,
Starting point is 00:20:04 oh, yeah, I'll pop in and we can have lunchandemic you would probably go oh yeah i'll pop in we can have lunch yeah but you would just never do that now yeah or i could just go home yeah and not do that that's probably what i'll choose um anyway and so i'm going driving down this back straight and i see her oh god and she's um standing there with someone else and they both had a coffee so obviously like i've met up on the tram, grabbed a coffee. They're walking back to their office. And I like waved like mad. Oh, I was going to say you're going to cool and calmly blank her.
Starting point is 00:20:35 I like waved like mad. You've got, for those playing on home, Tony's shaking both. Did you have a hand on the wheel? Yeah, so I was driving. It sounds like you didn't have a hand on the wheel. And I was like, oh! Because when you're standing there with two hands waving, it looks like you took your hand on the wheel yeah so i was driving it sounds like you didn't have a hand on the wheel and i was like because when you're standing there with two hands waving it looks like you took your hand off the wheel because right now these will drive themselves though it does actually yeah but no so i had and i was like waving and she like waved back yeah and i
Starting point is 00:20:57 realize the three motorcycles in my brain and the globe of death are going and i'm like oh my god do i have to pull over? Mate, you're in South Yarrow, Perrin. There's no parking. Use that to your advantage. But I was in a back street. There wasn't that many cars around. You could have stopped?
Starting point is 00:21:17 I could have stopped. I could have stopped. Admittedly, yes, I could have stopped. I think if you don't want to, and you obviously would never want to like speak to anyone. So I think being in the car is the, when you say what's an excuse to not say hi, I would have assumed being in the car is the greatest excuse you've got. I'd love to say in chat, but I'm actually operating a fucking vehicle right now.
Starting point is 00:21:40 And before you could even think about it, you've gone. You've gone. So is that enough? But the motorcycles are still spinning. Motorcycles are going. Yeah. And I realised, like, I have to decide right now if I'm going to pull over or if I'm just going to keep going.
Starting point is 00:21:53 Yeah. And another insight to Tony, an instant decision. Tony needs time to think about it. But you're in a, yeah, like you said, there is no time. There was, like, no time to really decide. And I, like, kind of panicked and I just kept driving. Because. Did they see the panic?
Starting point is 00:22:08 Because that would be embarrassing. Well, I. If they saw you go, oh, should I stop? Do I? Because I'm kind of, oh. And I waved. I looked in my rear view mirror and she and her friend were like looking after me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:18 God, who the fuck was that? Well, like, no, because they waved back. So I'm like, okay. Like, and then as I kept driving, looked in the rearview mirror, and I see that they're both looking at my car. And I was like, fuck. They were waiting for me to stop. No, they were having a coffee.
Starting point is 00:22:34 No, no, no. So they were walking, and then after I've driven past, I looked up, and they were both still staring at the car. So they were probably like, oh, she didn't stop. To be fair, if I saw Tony Lodge in the wild, I would stop dead in my tracks just in shock. But we're friends. And author. Podcast royalty.
Starting point is 00:22:53 Fuck. Is that who I thought it was? Concrete in my boots. I can't take another step. Is that what happens? But like, so because they were looking after me, I was like, fuck, I should have stopped. And then anyway, it's like a 20, 30 minute drive home. And the whole time I'm like, oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:23:11 Like I should have just stopped and said, hey. And then I was like, oh, should I call her? And I was like, no, I'm not going to call her. Should I go back there? And I was like, she's probably going to be like really offended that I didn't stop and say hi. And then so I'm coming up with all these excuses in my head. And I'm like, oh, what I'll do is I'll text her when I get home. And I'll be like, sorry, I had to rush home to a meeting.
Starting point is 00:23:35 Like didn't have time to stop. Like was racing home for a meeting. Why don't you instead of the apology, you just text and go, great to see you, bro. Well, anyway. Looking good. I mean, I spent the whole time driving home, like sick to my stomach that I felt really bad that I just like basically blanked out because I just kept driving. Did you consider not driving home and instead just driving off a cliff?
Starting point is 00:23:55 And I just thought maybe that's what I'll do. Anyway, so I'm like, I was like, all right, I've created the perfect text message in my head. And then I get home and I said to torbs i was like oh look i just saw brie and he was like oh how was she and i was like oh i didn't stop i don't know i drive off and he was like oh why didn't you stop and i was like oh and then i tell him the whole story the fucking motorcycle's in my head i write this perfect text message right yeah and i'm And I'm like, hey, girl. I was like, hey, oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:24:28 So sorry. I was just on my way home from the gym and I had to rush home from a meeting. Sorry I didn't stop. It was great to see you. Have a great day. I see you've lied about a meeting. Kind of thing. Just out a bit of mayhem. Well, because I was like then.
Starting point is 00:24:42 I've got to back this up with some evidence. It's like social proof that I had to leave. I've got to back this up with some evidence. It's like social proof that I like had to leave. I didn't choose to just drive off. Sure. And then. Everything in life is a choice. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:52 And then so I didn't want her to think that I had just like chosen not to say hello. Even though that's exactly what you did. Yeah. Well, I panicked and then I just drove off because I was like, oh. Anyway, she takes me back. She goes, oh, was that you? And then I just drive off because I was like, ooh. Anyway, she takes me back.
Starting point is 00:25:04 She goes, oh, was that you? I was thinking on the Audi there is some nice tinted window. I did not even think about it. I'm waving like a maniac. And she waved back. Because she's polite. Yeah. If someone waves to you, you just wave back. You just wave back because that's just nice.
Starting point is 00:25:20 It's a nice line for her, yeah. And, yeah. And I spent the whole drive home being like, oh, my God, she probably thinks I'm such a bitch. Yeah. She's gone, that mole didn't even stop to say hello. And then she went, oh, was that you? So what lessons have you learned?
Starting point is 00:25:35 It doesn't matter. Literally nothing matters. Just keep driving. Except for the. That's beautiful. That is beautiful. Except for if you're the. At a red light.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Yeah, but also the motorbike guys, it's the opposite. It's like, don't keep driving. They could stop. Just stop. Yeah. But I literally agonized for half an hour on the drive home. I'm like, oh, yeah, I'll tell her I had a meeting. Oh, should I tell her that I – oh, sorry, I'm just so sweaty from the gym.
Starting point is 00:25:56 Oh, like all these things. And then, oh, was that you? Yeah. She just – and I was like – Just some dumb bitch tutored and I waved. And I was like, yeah, yeah, I just saw I waved. And I was like, yeah, yeah. Like, just like, she's like, oh, yeah, great. So I used to, if anyone just waved or tooted, I'd just, hey, mate, you know.
Starting point is 00:26:13 Yeah. Wave back. Does that happen to you a lot? No, like, just because when you're in a busy street, there's always cars tooting and stuff. And it was always just like a gag with my friends. And I'm always like, oh, yeah, I know that guy. Oh, that's funny. But then this only needs to happen to you once and you'll never do that again is when they toot and then you wave and then you realise the person behind is.
Starting point is 00:26:31 Or when someone's like this on the street and you go, hey. And then, like, you turn around and it's the person behind you. Yeah, and they're like, what? And you're like, oh, sorry. I remember doing that at school. And because you would know the people, like, roughly, you go, oh, yeah, hey, but they're talking to, like, the popular kid behind you. Who's that annoying girl with the fringe? Who the fuck are you?
Starting point is 00:26:51 I've got a love to see it here from Tapa Mark. And he said, I can't be the only one who read this in Tony's voice. Oh. Check your phone. Oh. Actually, just read it out. It's a sign that's stuck on someone's door. It's like a handwritten, like written in a Sharpie.
Starting point is 00:27:11 It's like a permanent marker. And it's taped to the front door. And it says, doorbell's fucked. Shout ding dong really loud. I would write that. And I would say it as well. Yeah. So thank you, Tapa Mark, for sending that through.
Starting point is 00:27:27 You love to see it. That's amazing. I've got a message here from Jack in our Patreon. Great. And she says, hey, not sure if this is the right place, but I wanted to show you love to see it. Please. Always the right place. Love it.
Starting point is 00:27:40 It's actually the best and only place. It's like, oh, I've got a you love to see it. Don't know where I should post it. Post it in the you love to see it thread. Yeah. That's what it best and only place. It's like, oh, I've got a You Love To See It. I don't know where I should post it. Post it in the You Love To See It thread. That's what it's for. Yeah, this was on Patreon. I did just say that. Message in Patreon.
Starting point is 00:27:50 That's okay. Take back everything I said. You fucked that up. I've been living in China for the last five years and haven't been home in four years because of all the COVID lockdowns I've had there. We should get Jack and Ali. Introduce them to each other.
Starting point is 00:28:05 Hook them up. Both living in China. Yeah, pretty small place. Not many people around. Might be. I've never been, so I can't say. Jack says, well, I'm about to head home to finally surprise my family and meet my three-year-old nephew for the first time.
Starting point is 00:28:22 Oh, my God. How crazy. Because you hear five years and then you go, well, so much happens the first time. Oh my God. Because you hear five years and then you go, well, so much happens in that time. Say your sister was pregnant five years ago. That kid's five now.
Starting point is 00:28:35 That kid has a personality. You'd hope. And Jack says, I've also decided to treat myself and go Emerus business class the whole way someone's doing
Starting point is 00:28:49 alright in China very nice thank you very much but you love to see that I thought that was so cool and imagine yeah you meet like this new member
Starting point is 00:28:56 of your family that's so crazy I'm assuming they've done some FaceTimes and there's some photos and stuff so they'll be like oh it's my uncle
Starting point is 00:29:02 they know they know who it is yeah but good on you, Jack. Thank you so much for sharing that. Thanks, Jack. That's awesome. Love to see that. All right.
Starting point is 00:29:08 Have a great day, everyone. We'll chat to you tomorrow. Love you. Bye.

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