Toni and Ryan - The Hierarchy of Communication
Episode Date: May 18, 2022The do's and don'ts of texting VS calling - and your breakup stories! Love ya! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan o...n Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hello?
Hi, is that Amy?
That is Amy. Hi.
Hi, it's Tony and Ryan.
How are you?
I'm pretty good.
How are you?
Well, I'm better than pretty fucking good, Amy,
because I'm talking to you.
Okay, well, thank you. I'm sorry.
It wasn't pretty good, but I had to run out of a movie.
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
What movie is it?
What are you watching?
What's it called?
Let me run back. You don't even know what movie you're watching, babe.
The Lost City. The Lost City.
It's been a long day, I'm sorry. Who doesn't know what movie they're watching?
Movies are expensive, Amy. What are you doing?
No, it was free.
For me.
It was free? My sister paid for me.
Oh, okay.
Well, who fucking cares?
How good are sisters?
Exactly.
I heard free and I just went along.
Yeah, it must be nice.
Yeah, good deal.
Amy, would you approve this episode?
Yeah, of course.
I would love to.
Yay!
Woo!
Fuck movies.
Yeah.
Hi, this is Amy from Prince George, British Columbia, Canada,
and I approve this podcast.
Coming up on the Tony and Ryan podcast, the hierarchy of communication,
i.e. is this message important enough to maybe make a phone call
instead of just putting it in an email?
Yeah, or maybe is a text, would that be a bit shitty to text this
rather than call or too professional to call when it should be in an email.
Would it be kind of shit if Tony found out her sister was engaged
on Facebook before she got a call from her own sister?
Who knows?
Who knows?
We're going to dive deep into that coming up this episode.
But first of all, the movie this week.
Actually, what was the category of movies this week?
The category of movies was Goldie Hawn, Kate Hudson
and Meg Ryan movies because apparently they're all different people.
Now people were just as surprised as I was.
Ryan is a fucking idiot actually is probably a better explanation.
I mentioned last week when we watched Top Gun that Meg Ryan
and Goldie Hawn because you said you wanted to watch
Saving Private Ryan.
I thought it was a Goldie Hawn movie, but she's in Private Benjamin.
Too much is going on here.
We started talking about Meg Ryan and Goldie Hawn,
and then I mentioned that Kate Hudson is Goldie Hawn's daughter,
and you said, aren't all those three people the same person?
I said no.
I stand by it.
So this is a long-winded explanation to say that we ended up picking
two Goldie Hawn, two Meg Ryan, and two Kate Hudson movies to choose from this week.
But it doesn't actually prove anything because we didn't see Goldie Hawn,
Meg Ryan and Kate Hudson all in the same place at once.
Wow.
So it's still not contempt.
But I think we did.
I don't know if you know this because it's a bit of a nothing scene
in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, which turned out to be the winning movie.
Yeah.
By a fucking long shot as well.
Yeah, and it's a great film.
Don't get me wrong.
It is such a good movie.
When Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson are dating.
Yeah.
So the whole movie.
On one of the dates, they go to the movies.
Yeah.
And they watched Sleepless in Seattle with Meg Ryan in it.
And surely, I think this proves they are separate people
because surely if you were writing a movie,
you wouldn't send Kate Hudson along to a Kate Hudson movie.
Yeah, you're not going to be like, oh, in the movie,
she's going to watch Almost Famous.
Yeah, she goes to Fool's Gold and goes, they look like us.
God, when life imitates art.
Who would have guessed it?
That's a great pick up from you.
I nearly, I was shooketh.
You know the part in the movie where she's like been talking Who would have guessed it? That's a great pick up from you. I nearly, I was shooketh.
You know the part in the movie where she's like been talking to Matthew McConaughey's mum and gets like the baby photos
and she's like, don't you want to see our family?
And he's like, we don't have a family.
And she's like showing him all the photos and he's like,
our kids are really attractive.
It's like weird like moshed together photos and he's like, our kids are really attractive. It's like weird, like moshed together photos and photos.
Fuck, it's such, and then when his mum rings and he goes,
oh, hey, mum, I'm like, oh, you're such a lovely boy.
There's two kinds of people who watch movies
and I reckon everyone is one of these two people.
Ooh.
When there is like a really awkward, cringy moment in a movie,
some people lean forward and go, this is so funny, it's so awkward.
For example, when they sing the song at the show at the end.
Oh, I love it.
He's so mean.
So some people really lean in and love that.
Anytime I watch a movie where there's a little bit of awkwardness,
I put my face under my T-shirt.
I can't watch it.
And last night when they started singing I'm So Vain,
I had to go and stand by the fridge in my kitchen,
which as you know is like two rooms away from the TV.
So like Bridget's on the couch.
That's where I was sitting.
I had to go past the bar, Papa San bit,
all the way to the other end of the kitchen and look through my fingers because I just couldn't handle
how awkward it was.
Oh, really?
And a lot of times in the movies where she's really playing up
like the annoying girlfriend and interrupting boys' night.
Yeah.
I was like, I can't.
And I think people either love that shit or fucking hate it.
There's no one in the middle.
Do you think it's because, so I like it and I watch it and I go,
that's awful, but show me more.
Yeah, I'd leave the room and my friend Sean has been known
to lock himself in the pantry of his house.
During an awkward bit of a movie.
Yeah, he just can't.
Do you think it's because I am cringe though?
You're not cringe.
I can be pretty cringe.
Yeah, but you're also a beautiful, lovely human. Oh, not cringe. I can be pretty cringe.
Yeah, but you're also a beautiful, lovely human.
Oh, but I think you can be both.
And I wouldn't hide in a pantry to get away from you.
I would hope not.
I would really hope not.
Otherwise this podcast isn't going to work.
And if you put that as one of your top compliments you've ever received.
Yeah, it's up there.
Hey, he loves me.
He'd stay out of the pantry for me.
Yeah.
The other one underneath it is she's not bad.
Yeah.
Sorry, but the fucking yellow me. Yeah. The other one underneath it is she's not bad. Sorry, but the fucking yellow dress.
Yeah.
It's like iconic.
I throw the word iconic around a bit.
It is.
It fucking is.
When she turns and she's, that is like,
that in like a beautiful ivory colour would just be,
like you can just imagine how many people said,
can I have that in white and I'll wear that to my wedding.
Absolutely.
Like you could just, the amount of ball dresses
that would have been modelled off that for people's proms and stuff.
I'll have the Andy Anderson, thank you.
Fuck.
And the dress.
She just looks so beautiful in it.
So given the title How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days,
I asked people in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group,
which you're free to join.
It's in the link in our bio on Insta.
Show notes, everything.
Yep.
How did you lose a guy, rightfully or wrongfully?
Guy or girl, just how were you dumped or why did you dump him?
I want to hear your stories.
And I regret asking.
Kate Corrigan.
Hi, Kate.
And this is all she said. There's no follow-up, so don't ask any
questions. Oh, okay. All right. It smelled like cheese and I'm lactose intolerant.
Oh, that is just such an image, isn't it? Okay, Kate, good for you, babe. Okay. And now it's
fucking girl power time because I'm ready to fucking fire up.
Okay.
You ready?
You come with me?
Always.
Sarah Houseman.
Hi, Sarah.
Who, by the way, after clicking on her profile, is fucking good looking.
I'm saying it.
She's a catch.
Ryan, you can't.
What did you call me?
We just.
Okay, so you've checked out poor Sarah.
You've objectified her.
Now what?
I'm just saying she's a good-looking lady and she's a catch.
I was dumped.
He told me I was, and I quote, says Sarah,
I was a liability to his image.
What?
Fuck that guy right off.
He then proceeded to ask out my neighbour,
who was almost 15 years younger than me.
Now, I don't know who this fucking neighbour is,
and I don't know who this guy is,
but I do know who Sarah Houseman is,
and I repeat, she's fucking good looking,
she's a catch, and anyone should be honoured to stand next to Sarah Houseman is, and I repeat, she's fucking good looking, she's a catch, and anyone should be honoured to stand
next to Sarah Houseman.
Am I still objectifying or am I doing the right thing here?
I don't know.
I think that the message is lovely, but you've obviously got a crush
on Sarah that we should address.
Okay, I've overcooked the support.
Is that what you're saying?
No, Sarah, that's absolutely.
Imagine what I don't understand is how people have the gall to go,
oh, no, not good enough looking or, like, not really my vibe.
Like, but, I mean, when you're young, you're a fuckhead.
But also wouldn't you, if they're not your vibe, don't date them.
In the first place?
Yeah.
What are you waiting for?
Fuck you.
Are you thinking, oh, do you reckon that they're the people that are like,
I can change you?
Oh.
Like, you know how people say that?
Yeah, I fucking hate that.
Yeah.
I mean, no one could change me.
I can't even change myself.
I can't even change the sheets.
Rain Riviera, who confirmed that is her real name during the week.
Oh, good for you, Rain Riviera.
As if Rain Riviera isn't a news anchor with the latest local news,
my name is Rain Riviera.
That is good.
As if that's not what they're doing.
I got dumped by someone.
Oh.
He couldn't get his head around the fact that I earned more money than him.
I also owned my own place and a hundred percent took care of myself and my son. I had
my shit going together. And for some reason, Raina had her shit together was a bit of a,
oh, to this bloke who couldn't handle that. He was the piece of shit.
Oh, you love to say that. You fucking love to see that.
That is great.
I reckon there would be lots of, especially now,
that people are, like, career-driven and having, like,
children later in life, that if you've gotten your shit together,
you've sorted yourself out and, you know,
prioritised your career or buying a house or whatever,
I think there would be lots of people that were intimidated by that.
Not gender-specific, but lots of people would be intimidated
by their partner earning more money than them.
Now, I don't know if I'm the...
I'd love it.
Yeah, well...
If Torb's earned more than me and I'd be like, cool,
I don't have to fucking work.
It's more money for both of us.
I don't see that you're on the same team here.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, my God.
It's more money coming into the household.
It doesn't matter how it's divvied up. No, it's
just for us, it's a pool
of money and if he's earning
more money then it's more that I get to enjoy
and we get to do stuff with.
Does this make me a bit of a freak? And I'm not
saying this to make myself sound like a
hero because I ain't. But when I first
met Bridget, she had
just bought her own house on her own.
Young, single female, bought her own house.
And I was like, what a boss.
And she was a winemaker who was like running this winery.
And I wasn't intimidated.
I was like.
That's awesome.
Have a fucking look at her go.
She's got her shit.
Like I actually, it wasn't like, oh, it didn't matter to me.
It did.
Like it mattered in a good way because I was like impressed by that.
Like that was, I was like, oh, I actually respected that.
And that was like one of the first reasons why I'm like who's this girl yeah she's got her
shit together I like that it's I think it's really nice and I think for anybody to have their shit
together and like know where they're at and like I mean there's always going to be times when you're
trying to figure it out and trying to you know but like because Torbs and I met when we were at uni
we were both broke ass like well you, I was still living at home.
He was living out of home.
So he was like, you know, also fucking poor.
And, yeah, so everything that we've got we built together,
which is fucking pretty cool.
But, yeah, to hear that, that, Rain, you've got your shit together
and that, oh, my God.
Fuck that guy.
Did you fuck him off?
Did she fuck him off?
She got dumped by him.
He dumped her?
Yeah.
Because he was intimidated?
Oh, my God.
Well, if you're interested in a fucking boss-ass woman,
hit up Ray Riviera.
Yeah, and I mean, dollop budged?
Bullet dodged.
Sorry, I'm all red-dodged for Rayna.
We were on this beautiful, powerful moment and you said bullet dodged.
Oh, dollop budged.
What did I say?
Oh, fucking yeah, here we go.
Next show is being hosted by Sarah Houseman and Raina Riviera.
They've got their shit together.
Yeah, they do.
Now this story, at first I kind of smirked,
but then I thought about it and I don't actually think it's funny.
Oh.
But there is one funny sentence in there.
Oh, okay.
And I'll allow you to laugh at the funny sentence.
Good.
But I think the more I think about this story, bear with me.
Okay.
Victor.
Hi, Victor.
I dumped my, in inverted commas, boyfriend after five years.
Five years.
That's a long time.
Yeah, and inverted commas on boyfriend.
Oh.
We never really talked about what we officially were for five years.
That's a long time.
Five years.
Because you know how there's like that phase where you might be like
hooking up or whatever.
Totally.
We're just sort of, you know, and then after a while you're like,
is this real?
We're doing this?
Well, and also by that time, you're spending that much time together,
you're most likely discussing whether you should, you know,
move in together. Your future, going on holidays together, you're most likely discussing whether you should, you know, move in together.
Your future, going on holidays together, you know, probably saving money to do things together like holidays or buy things or whatever.
So whilst I agree, Victor and his male partner and you and I aren't in this situation.
And this is where I was like, fuck, you know what?
This would be hard.
They both weren't like fully out to their family and friends.
Oh, wow.
And so you can see where like if we don't have to put a label on it,
we're still figuring our shit out.
Yeah.
Like whatever.
Oh, wow, that's horrible.
Yeah, so it's a real tricky.
And then I was like, yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, like I can actually understand why that could happen.
Best to avoid having that conversation with yourself
if you're not ready to have it yet.
Yeah, wow.
What a privileged position for me.
I didn't think about that.
Yeah, and like I said, the first time I read this I didn't either
and then I was like, oh, actually.
Five years in, Victor was like, I think I'm ready to just really admit
to who I am.
I'm going to tell my friends and my family.
I'm going to come out.
I'm really proud of the person I've become and really drew a line in the sound for himself. And I'm reading this like, get it, Victor. I'm going to tell my friends and my family. I'm going to come out. I'm really proud of the person I've become. And really drew a line in the sound for himself. And I'm reading this like
get it, Victor. I'm proud of you. I'm with you. Yeah, fuck yeah, Victor.
More like victory. Am I right? Yeah.
So he tells his partner. Like I'm all out.
I'm all in. Yep. Yep. He
says to his partner, I'm saying it out loud, I'm gay.
I don't want to hide our relationship.
I'm going to tell my friends and family.
And I want to be with you.
And I want to be with you.
Oh, I'm all out and I'm all in.
Yeah.
Victor, yes!
The partner said, I'm not gay.
I've never been into guys.
And then we're allowed to laugh at this line.
Okay.
As Victor said. As Victor said.
As Victor said.
He claimed he was never into guys,
even though I'd be sucking him off every day for half a decade.
I mean, it would make you think one way, wouldn't it?
What makes you think I'm gay?
Because I've seen you suck a dick every day for five years.
Yeah, and it's been mine.
And Victor was devastated at the time.
Oh, and you would be embarrassed that they didn't want to be seen.
Like, you know.
So he said, I broke it off, you know, I moved on.
Fucking good for you.
That would have been really hard.
But Victor says, in hindsight, we were both young,
we were still finding ourselves,
and I actually don't have any ill feelings towards him.
He just needed his time and it wasn't the same time as me.
And Victor now has learned so much from that experience, came out,
you know, is out and proud and feeling really confident in who they are.
That's fucking awesome.
Yeah.
It was a bit of a shitty path at some point.
I bet you that didn't feel very nice.
But fucking go, Victor.
Victory.
Victory.
Victory.
So like I said, I read that a few times and was like, a roller coaster.
Yeah.
But I think it's interesting to share.
But it's not all bad, Victor.
Unlike Kate Corrigan, his dick didn't smell like cheese.
So that's a big win for you.
It is good news.
Sorry.
This is Amy from Prince George, British Columbia, Canada,
and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
Tomorrow we'll have a very quick catch-up,
just a quick shareholders debrief.
Just a quickie tomorrow and a few other people that will be there that are already contributing.
Cassie Braun, Sarah Boone, Sebastian Lauderkorn,
Tamara Rockstro, Chloe Lobajaya and Marie Laurie.
Thank you so much for being here, buying our exclusive content.
You can check everything out, like the Facebook group
and the Patreon, everything, everything, everything
links in the show notes.
There is a hierarchy of communication.
The more important a message, the closer the communication needs to be.
Yes.
If it's really important, maybe it's in person.
Yes.
If it's pretty important, maybe a phone call.
Yeah.
If it's not a big deal, shoot them a text, a DM, WhatsApp, whatever.
You're getting the vibe I'm getting out here?
Yeah.
Or if you said we need to talk, I'd shit and then I'd drive to your house.
I'd shit. then I'd drive to your house. I'd shit.
For example.
Yes.
There has been a bit of communication hierarchy chat within the Lodge family.
Yeah.
Did we decide we're going to talk about this?
I don't think so, but that's fine.
So a couple of years ago on Christmas Day, beautiful day,
Torbs and I were spending time with Jag and Lane,
our best friends for Christmas because we were stuck in Melbourne.
It was like during COVID and stuff.
And I logged onto Facebook and as we know,
what do you see on Facebook and Instagram every Christmas Day?
Always proposals.
People getting engaged.
And I logged on and this beautiful diamond ring shows up.
I'm like, oh, who's gotten engaged?
It was my sister.
And that's how you found out?
Yep.
And good on them.
Like her and her partner, Kenesha, they are very, very happy together.
They got a baby.
Like they are just, oh, goals.
But, yeah, and that's how I found out that they were engaged.
Your sister didn't think to call her sister and give you the heads up,
share the news with you?
It's a tough one, isn't it?
Well, what did the rest of the family think?
Well, we were all kind of like, oh,
you would think that there would be a phone call there.
Yeah.
But, I mean, now is it just like fucking one and done?
Rip the band-aid off.
You post it once, everyone sees it at the same time.
Maybe she's on to something.
I've got a few tests for you here, Tony Lodge.
Ooh.
Hang on, I've just unpacked my for you here, Tony Lodge. Ooh. Hang on.
I've just unpacked my family trauma.
Do you have one?
I think my grandma shared that Bridget and I were engaged
before I had a chance to call all the cousins.
Oh.
And grandma gets a bit trigger happy on the socials.
Can I say something?
You do too.
What do you mean?
You are such an amazing friend.
What have I done?
Don't fucking buff me out.
You're such an amazing friend.
What have I?
But you love to share other people's news.
Like what?
Because you just get so excited.
I do get excited.
Yeah, and you get really proud. I'm proud of you. You get very proud and you often share news. Like what? Because you just get so excited. I do get excited. Yeah, and you get really proud.
I'm proud of you.
You get very proud and you often share news.
Like what?
There's been a few things that, like, you've told Bridget.
Have I outed you?
Oh, no, never outed me, but, like, you've kind of said, like,
oh, Tony's so excited because she got this thing.
I'm like, that's totally fine.
Of course you're going to go home and tell your wife.
Oh, and then you go and excitedly tell Bridget and she's like,
I fucking know.
And she pretends to be excited and I go, Ryan already told you, eh?
And she's like, yeah, he did.
Okay, if it suits you, Tony Lodge, I will never speak to my wife again.
No.
Heaven forbid you be put in that situation.
And Bridget has told me as well that she's had exciting news that,
like, then your mum's called Bridget and said,
oh, Ryan just told me about this thing.
And Bridget's like, oh, well, I would have loved to tell Mandy myself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I get excited.
No, you do.
And it's because you are just so proud and excited.
But so I see that it runs in the family that your grandma has done the same thing.
Okay.
But you would be gutted because your engagement, that's such a huge thing.
Tony quit her job the other day.
We're all in on the podcast.
Ryan.
You let everyone know when you're ready.
Ryan.
You gave them plenty of notice.
You'll still be there for a while.
Just in time for us to go five days a week.
Ryan.
Okay, here's the test.
Shouldn't that have been like a big moment where we go like,
oh, and by the way.
Oh, catch the shareholders update tomorrow.
Question one.
Or did she?
Find out tomorrow.
Oh, fucking hell.
Okay.
All right.
Here's the test of the hierarchy of communication.
Yep.
Ironically, the first question here.
If I'm thinking that I can't be bothered doing the Tony
and Ryan podcast anymore, would that be a text message?
Would that be a phone call or would that be an in-person?
That's in-person.
That is fucking in-person.
Are you joking me?
I've just quit my job and you're going to text me?
That you're joking me?
I quit my job and then I can't text you?
I quit my job and then I can't text?
Definitely an in-person conversation.
Oh, you flapped me.
I hate this.
It's hypothetical until the last one.
You know how Bridget and I borrowed your car a few weeks ago when our car was getting serviced?
Yes.
If we crashed the car or, like, dinged it or backed into it or something,
would that be a text message, a phone call or an in-person?
Oh, that's a good one actually.
I think a phone call.
Same.
I reckon because it's like, mate, I'm so fucking sorry.
Don't worry about it.
Like we've taken it to the place.
Like we'll get it sorted out.
But I wanted to let you know straight away.
Yeah.
Because you're not going to then rock up to your house and be like, oh, cool. Here's the keys. By the way, we crashed it sorted out. But I wanted to let you know straight away. Yeah, because you're not going to then rock up to your house
and be like, oh, cool, here's the keys.
By the way, we crashed it.
Yeah, I feel like the phone call implies I've told you as soon as I could.
And that's the thing.
And the text is a bit shit.
It's the time.
Yeah, a text to be like, hey, dinged your car.
Hope you got insurance, babe.
Yeah, because then you would just instantly call back.
Because instantly I'm like, oh, are you okay?
What's going on?
Maybe that's what it is.
If it's a thing that is kind of serious and is going to have lots
of follow-up questions, maybe that's when it needs to be a call.
Unlike on where we're getting at.
You know?
We're laying down rules for society.
Okay, imagine this.
The first episode of a new season of The Bachelor is on.
Yeah.
And we want to, like, hate watch it, judge all the contestants.
You know the first step, you meet all the people
and you just sit there and you're like, look at this chick.
Yeah, oh, she's going to win, he's going to lose.
And we want to do that together with wine and pizza.
Yep.
Is that an email?
Is that a phone call or a text message?
Or do I have to come around and propose the idea?
As in to actually do it or to ask me if we should?
To ask if we should.
Oh, I reckon a text is fine.
Lol, we should hate watch Batchy tonight.
Haha, come round at six.
Perfect.
I reckon that's a text or a Google Meet invite.
Now here's something.
Put it in my calendar.
Put it in. I get bing, bing and I'm like, okay, go on Ryan's tonight,
turn my phone over, then don't have to worry about it.
Now, hopefully these two things happen this year.
I don't know if it's together, but say if.
Is this a surprise?
Have you surprised?
No, no, no.
No, this is for you.
Hopefully I'll get to tell you this this year.
That Bridget and I have bought a house and they were expecting a baby.
Not at the same time. Imagine baby. Not at the same time.
Imagine if it happened at the same time.
Is that a text for you?
Um.
Do I send you a thing on Slack?
This is a different question because this depends.
And just let me be clear, this isn't a, neither of those are the case. No, but like I think that that depends on the level of friendship.
That's what I mean.
And this is purely for Tony and Ryan.
The podcast.
Oh, my God.
I don't know.
I think.
Like if Bridget was pregnant and I texted you,
would you be a bit like.
Oh, I'd be like, oh, what?
And then I'd probably ring you.
Hence why maybe a phone call.
Or do you want to be there to hug and touch the tummy
and do all the freaky silly things that you do?
Yeah, I kind of would.
I feel like I'd appreciate it if you were like, hey,
let's have dinner tonight.
And then maybe it was like, look, we wanted to get you over here.
We're fucking celebrating.
Like we got the house and Bridget is pregnant.
Yay.
Like, I guess in an ideal world, that's what it would be.
But, yeah, I think I'd like the phone call.
Okay, what's that word when you, like, envision things for the future?
Manifest.
Let's manifest that.
Yes, okay, manifest, manifest, manifest.
Buy some really nice champagne, though.
I know Bridget can't drink, but I can.
Yeah, so the two of us can get a line.
Oh, what about Torbs?
Hey, I'm sure he'll
he's invited. I mean, he's the father
so
he'd probably already know.
Bridget and
Torbs call us.
Guys, I've got news.
Is this a phone call or
should you come round? They put it on Google Meet.
Like, let us know. Yes, no it on Google Meet. Let us know.
Yes, no.
Yes, no.
Agenda.
Pregnancy.
All right, finally, and this isn't a hypothetical
and I just want to put it out there.
Yep.
I am not proud of this.
What?
When I was at Power FM, the radio station in the Hunter Valley.
Yeah.
Shout out, 98.1.
No.
I was kind of sort of dating my housemate.
Oh.
Like I lived in a, I just found a share house.
Yeah.
Got along really well with Laura who was there to the point where we actually
rented out my room because I wasn't in there anymore.
So you were just sleeping in her room.
In her room.
Yeah.
So I got a new job and was moving to Mildura and we had discussed her coming
and we'd never had the chat.
I was just sleeping in her room, whatever.
And so we discussed that she is going to come to Mildura.
That's huge.
Yeah.
So she flies to Mildura, a few job interviews,
checks out the town, stays for a week.
How long had you been sleeping together for?
Not that long.
A few months.
Okay.
A few months is in three or like seven?
One or two.
Oh, my God.
Maybe two months, yeah.
How old were you?
I've just fucking broken my microphone.
How old were you?
24, 25 maybe.
Okay.
And so she comes over, checks the place out,
and then she goes back and we're kind of like,
and then I've decided, hang on.
This is not.
And don't get, sweetheart, lovely lady.
Lovely lady. That sounds like a really weird thing to say. I don't know what sweetheart, lovely lady. Lovely lady.
That sounds like a really weird thing to say.
I don't know what to say.
I'm just trying to say that there was just.
She was a lovely lady.
There was nothing against her.
I just kind of went, hang on.
What are we doing?
I've just.
We barely know each other.
Yeah.
You're going to.
And her whole family was from them.
Like, you're going to leave your family.
You're going to quit that great job.
And then what?
I was like, oh.
That's a lot of pressure.
That's a lot of pressure.
And I kind of was like, oh, you know what?
This might be moving a bit too quick.
Maybe you just, you know, getting rid of your place and moving over here,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
What did you do?
Ryan Jonathan Dunn.
Ryan.
Ryan.
I said, and I am happy to admit when I'm wrong, I am sometimes.
Tony just pulled the Rankers face.
Oh, yeah, whatever, mate.
I am not proud of this.
You were young.
I'm actually embarrassed.
Oh, mate.
I got catfished by a girl on the internet who told me she was from Twilight.
Yeah, I mean, whatever happens here, I'm not the biggest fuckwit.
Did I, A, call her?
Did I B, go back to the Hunter Valley to let her know in person?
Or did I C, send a message on Facebook Messenger?
Obviously you went back to the Hunter Valley and told her in person
she was willing to give up her job, move away from her family.
Phone call then must have been.
Facebook Messenger.
And back then it wasn't even a separate app.
No.
You just commented pretty much.
I put it on her status.
I put it on her wall.
She puts it on her wall.
Hey, girlfriend.
Maybe not A.
Have you read it?
And then she poked you.
She poked you on Facebook.
The irony that she would never get poked by me again.
Did she respond?
Like, what happened?
Because you would go a bit nuclear at that point.
Like, she would say that and be like, bro,
I'm, like, willing to move to where you are.
How did she respond?
Poor Laura.
She just said she was very disappointed.
And then we spoke on the phone after that.
And I actually knew.
So you did that to like break the ice?
I knew straight away.
That that was a dick move.
That that was a dick move.
But I guess this isn't an excuse, by the way.
You're just so scared and such a pussy.
I didn't have the guts to do it in person.
And for me, and again, it's poor, but it was the easy way out.
In hindsight, I look at it and go, young, stupid Ryan took the easy way out
when if he had some bad news to give, the least I could have done is just front up.
Is call and say, like, look, we need to talk.
It's not quite right.
I'm feeling the pressure.
We've been not even really together.
We've been hanging out for a few months and we're going to, yeah, I don't know.
I still feel awful about it.
Oh, fuck.
So that's the hierarchy of communication.
I'll tell Bridget to delete her Facebook just in case.
You can't break up with me if I don't have it.
She's away this weekend and she said, jokingly, she's like,
oh, when I'm out of town, can you please not cheat on me?
And I said, well, first of all, I can't
because I'm making 38,000
personalised videos with Tony this weekend.
Yeah, but you'll be with me. And then I said,
but you don't cheat on me either.
And she goes, oh, okay, I won't. And then we
both looked at BJ the dog and we're like,
we're watching you, mate.
We're actually, I didn't even realise, we're both
batching it this weekend.
What are you doing tonight?
You want to come around?
My bed has no sheets on it because they're covered in coffee.
Don't have to tell me, so I'll see you later on.
Well, for anybody else that doesn't have plans tonight,
I have a TV show recommendation.
It's called Hacks.
It's on Stan in Australia and I think it's on HBO in the Americas. It's called Hacks. It's on Stan in Australia and I think it's on HBO
in the Americas.
It's called Hacks. It's about this
old female, one of the first
stand-up comedians and she's kind
of like, you know, a bit long in the tooth.
She's been going for a long time and this young
hip LA writer joins her team
to help her write some new gear.
She's got the residency in Vegas. Yeah.
That's a great show. It's a really good show.
Really funny.
And the new season just started last week,
so there's like two episodes out at the moment or something.
It is the fucking best show.
Torbs and I started watching it.
We're fucking obsessed.
Smashed the whole first season in like three days.
Not that the whole thing is like are you with her or are you against her,
but do you see her as a bit of a dumb old lady
or are you like, what a queen who's, you know,
in the sunset of her career?
I feel like you kind of yo-yo between both.
Like, you kind of love her and then you're like,
oh, she's actually a bit of a bitch.
And then she does something nice and you're like,
oh, maybe she's okay.
But also the other female protagonist, the young girl, Ava,
you yo-yo with her as well.
You're kind of like, I'm on your team.
I want you to succeed.
And then you're like, actually, you're being a little witch.
Like, what are you doing?
But it's actually a really good fucking show.
Hacks.
Hacks.
And one of my very favourite shows is Broad City,
and it's the same team that write Broad City.
Ah, that makes sense.
It's a really, really good show, though.
Definitely get into it if you need something to watch.
I love to see a good prank.
I don't.
I hate pranks.
So this guy was helping his mum set up the computer
and the desktop background of her computer is a picture
of the guy's daughter, her granddaughter.
How cute.
That is cute.
That's cute.
And so he's helping out with the computer and he says to the computer,
he says he changes the settings.
Yeah. It's no longer just going to be a says to the computer, he says he changes the settings. Yeah.
It's no longer just going to be a picture of the daughter.
It's a slideshow.
Oh.
But on the slideshow, 99 of the 100 pictures in the slideshow
is the exact same picture of the granddaughter slash daughter.
Oh, yeah.
And the other one is the same picture but he's drawn a moustache on.
And he said the evil genius of it is,
is that it comes up for 10 seconds every 16 minutes,
which is long enough for mum to realise it,
but not quick enough for her to point it out to someone else.
So she goes, hang on, has she got a moustache?
And then someone turns around and they go, no.
And she goes, but I swear, just every now and then
I see it with a moustache, maybe I'm going crazy.
That is so evil.
Your mum's probably going to go get checked out for dementia or something
if you're doing that to her.
Yeah, and he's like, I don't know if this is the greatest prank ever.
Or he's like, it's worked a bit too well and I think mum's losing it.
You're too far in.
Grandma's going loopy.
Oh, my God.
She thinks my daughter's got a moustache.
But only sometimes.
And only that one photo. And it just pops up and she goes, oh I swear.
And then she has a harder look and goes, no.
And she doesn't know it's a slideshow because
they're all the same. It doesn't flick between them.
It's just the moustache appears for 10 seconds every 16
minutes.
Well, you'll have to fucking see that.
Facebook
Meowsinger.
Oh my God.
Love you.
Laura sent me a message a few years back.
Just said, hope you're doing well.
On Messenger?
That's fucking bold. Ironically, yeah.
Yeah, you probably should have broken up with her again.
Please don't message me here.