Toni and Ryan - The Nine Month Cruise
Episode Date: January 9, 2024WE'RE CRUISIN'! (And yes... someone told us what cruisin' is afterwards lol) Love ya!!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan... on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge.
Sorry, I'm feeling anxious.
Yeah, you should because we're calling Nancy, who is not only a hot California girl, she's from the OC, the hottest part of the hottest state.
The OC. I didn't even know people could actually live there like legally.
They've probably got like an entry level, like a university, like you have to be above a 9.5.
Hello.
Nancy!
How you doing? It's above a 9.5. Hello. Nancy. How you doing?
It's Tony and Ryan.
Hi.
Now, Nancy, we know that you must be the hottest person on earth
because not only do you live in California,
but you also live in Orange County.
I wouldn't say that.
We would.
We would.
We would.
It's hard unseen.
We don't need to know anything else.
Now, we don't want to spoil anything else now we don't want to
spoil any local news
but have you heard
what happened to Marissa
oh
I'm 30
but I never watched it
oh
no one in America
watched it Tony
it's like it was only
big in Australia
oh really
that's why they cancelled it
oh that's so embarrassing
oh well I've never
seen the show either
and I'm also a cool
California girl
oh my god
Nancy will you approve today's episode even despite that girl. Nancy, will you approve today's episode?
Even despite that?
Yeah, despite all that, will you approve today's episode?
Of course I will.
Thank God.
Hi, it's Nancy from California, and I approve this podcast.
All right, Happy New Year coming up today.
Happy New Year.
Tarpers have sent through their pets full names
that only get used when the pets are in trouble
and some of them are fucking pieces of art.
I just can't believe the extra person that I am,
I am pretty extra,
that I never even considered a full name for my little pippalus.
Has Patricia, what was the name?
Oh, I can't even remember what you said.
But once you've heard these, do you think you'll implement it?
I think I need one.
But though it is like a good little name to like.
But I think it's more of like maybe the guilt bit when they're like,
they've done, and you go, Pippa Raleigh Patricia Petrarca Lodge.
I'm married to Christian Petrarca in this situation.
Yes.
Am I rich as fuck?
Is he rich as fuck?
He would be rich as fuck, yeah.
Football player from Melbourne.
And ripped as fuck.
Yeah.
I don't really care about that.
You do though.
Well, he won't be because I just bought a pasta maker for my KitchenAid.
Petrarca.
He's Italian.
Like, are you joking?
Oh, yeah.
But I'll fatten him up.
Yeah.
Fatten him up and trap him.
So he won't want to leave me because I just fill him with pasta.
No, outs for 2024, whatever the fuck that was.
Yeah, that's fair.
Yeah.
That's pretty grim, actually.
All right, Tony Lodge.
Yes. I've got a, it's not. Yeah, that's pretty grim actually. All right, Tony Lodge. Yes.
I've got a, it's not a tongue twister at all.
What's a.
Isn't it dream chart?
No.
Is this dream chart?
No.
Okay.
Conundrum.
Ooh.
All right, let me just spell this out.
A brain teaser.
Yeah, maybe.
Instead of a tongue twister, maybe.
But this is a real life for some people at the moment.
Oh, okay.
If you were forced to do two of these three things, which two would
you do and which one would you choose? That's the one I'm not doing.
Because you're probably not going to want to do any of them. Is there an option to do none?
No. Okay. Calling over a waitress at a
restaurant and being like, oh, I think you got the order wrong. Can you like get the chef to make
it properly this time?
Option two, going up to someone at a supermarket who clearly does not work at the supermarket and being like, excuse me, do you work here?
Where's the milk?
Someone did that to you once and you were not nice.
So I don't think that's what the one that I would pick.
No, that was the other way around.
I asked someone where the milk was and they said, I don't fucking work here.
While they were holding milk. I didn't where the milk was and they said, I don't fucking work here. While they were holding milk.
You were.
I didn't actually ask for your fucking LinkedIn profile, mate.
I just asked where the dairy's at.
Yeah.
Or three.
And she thought, how dairy?
That's actually, maybe that she was doing comedy this whole time.
Yeah, she was.
And I've just for the last five years been really dirty on her.
Yeah, she, but the.
I'll never come to Woolworths in Dixon again.
Yeah, the comedy about it was that she wanted to tell you she was a comedian and you're in a show.
Yeah.
Like they were actually filming.
Filming, yeah.
Third option.
Yeah.
Going on a nine-month cruise.
Oh, fuck me.
So if you had to do two of them...
So call over a waitress and complain about the food.
Yeah.
Ask someone who obviously doesn't work in a supermarket if they know where something is.
Yeah.
Or go on a nine-month cruise.
Yeah.
Oh.
So which two would you choose to do and which one would you be like,
actually, I'm just going to leave that one right there.
I don't think I could.
Is the nine-month, do you dock?
Like, can you get off?
No, you're on the, I mean, probably for like a day for a stroll when you dock.
No, I don't think I could do the cruise.
Yeah, same.
I don't think I could.
I'll send something back ten times before I consider going on a cruise.
I also don't want to do that, though.
That just makes me feel so bad.
Yeah, but if you do it once and it's done,
then you're not stuck on the cruise for another eight months and 30 days.
Yeah.
One and done.
Yeah, I guess those two because I don't think I could do the cruise.
Do you remember when I told you about that thing and it was like that retirees were like
living on cruise ships because it was cheaper than rent?
You're doing that thing.
What thing?
Where I tell you something and then you tell me about the time you told me.
No, no, no.
I told you in New Zealand.
Check the tape.
Check the tape.
Tarpers, find the episode where I said it.
No, no, no.
I told you in New Zealand and we talked about it in New Zealand
when we were there for 23 hours.
Yeah.
Was this at the Shaka Brothers?
Because I don't remember anything from there.
No, no, no.
I was too busy being shucked and fucked.
No, no, no.
And sucked for that matter.
I was saying that I, because remember I saw that,
I can actually tell you because I saw it.
Check the tape.
No, it wasn't on the podcast.
It was privately.
We talked about this.
We don't talk off air. tape no it wasn't on the podcast it was privately we talked about this um because and i can tell you
why i remember specifically yeah because remember i saw that comparison photo of the titanic to a
modern day cruise yes yeah that's see you take it back because you know now that it was me that
told you and you didn't say it on the podcast. Remember that time I drove you home from work yesterday?
Yeah.
See?
Proved it.
I did say it first.
What?
I thought we were just saying random facts.
No, no, no.
So I told you that.
I told you that and we were like, that, it is actually,
you should Google, you should Google the comparison
of the Titanic to the modern day cruise ship
because you think about the Titanic.
It's a fucking rubber dinghy.
What could be, yeah.
It's literally like a fucking boat that you'd put in your bath
with your kids.
Like it's fucking, like literally no wonder it sank.
It's fucking like a centimetre long.
Do you know what I mean?
Like it got made pissed by that iceberg because it was this fucking big.
But it's actually crazy, the comparison.
But that's how it came up because then I was like, oh,
we were watching like something on telly.
Anyway.
So what's the fact?
So the thing is, is that it's retirees now,
it's cheaper for them to like go on and live on a cruise ship
for however long at a time.
When it finishes, just jump on the next one.
Jump on the next one.
Then it is to pay rent or like live in like a lifestyle village.
Because rent's fucked everywhere in the world.
Yeah.
But also like someone's cooking for you.
They're cleaning your room every day.
You probably get to go and do bingo.
How good's bingo?
Like, what else is there?
I reckon you'll be a cruiser.
I reckon you'll change your tune at some stage.
Nah, the diarrhea scares me.
Yeah, yeah, that's fine.
You know, they always get diarrhea.
They always do.
You remember that?
All that?
So have you heard about the nine-month cruise that's going on at the moment?
No, I haven't.
And to be honest, I thought that it was just like,
would you rather like eat celery or die?
I was like, well, you know, I'll take the celery.
Oh, that's sad.
Yeah.
Is it because you fucked up that I told you that fact?
No, it's because celery's shit.
Are you now remembering that I told you that?
No.
I'm not doubting it, but I don't remember it.
No, you said you were very confident a moment ago that you had said that.
Oh, no, I definitely said it.
No, you didn't, mate.
So the nine-month cruise.
Yeah, what is it?
I've never, I actually haven't heard of this.
It's the longest one so far, and it took off in December.
So far, like ever?
I don't think everyone's like a full nine-month before.
Oh, my, would you? That's gestation. Yeah. And let me. So far like ever? I don't think everyone's like a full nine month or before. Nine months.
Why would you?
That's gestation.
Yeah.
Someone could be impregnated and give birth.
On that ship.
I hope they do.
I really hope they do.
Those are quite a special story.
But things aren't going well.
And so it's blown up on TikTok because people on the boat are like spilling secrets and shit's gone wild.
What do you mean?
Spilling secrets?
Let me bring you up to date on what the fuck's going on.
It's Fyre Festival.
I would rather go to Fyre Festival.
Don't say things you can't take back.
I rewatched that documentary recently and, mate, it's not good.
Yeah, actually.
Would you rather suck cock for water or?
Mate, keep the water.
Yeah.
I'll suck a cock anyway.
Is it Fiji?
Fiji water? The nine-month cruise didn't sell well.
Fucking shock horror.
Right?
Sorry, can I ask one more admin question about the cruise?
Where is it from?
Is it picking people up or you're in and on?
It starts in the Caribbean.
Yeah.
And it does the whole world, like in different continents, and then finishes back in the Caribbean nine months later.
Fuck.
Yeah, it's fucking wild.
So it didn't sell that well because nine months is a big commitment.
People have got lives.
It's a really long.
And also who could afford to take that long off work?
Yeah.
Like is it just for retirees?
Well, some people are like working remotely from the boat,
but then there's Wi-Fi issues.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
Obviously they do, but can you trust that speed?
No.
And also, how many bosses would go for that?
Yeah.
Like you go, oh, so I'm going to go on this cruise for nine months.
Is it okay if I just like check my teams while I'm on there?
And they go, well, no.
So you know how we call the-
That just seems like so unlikely to me.
You know how we call the approvers on Skype?
Yeah.
Could I just do the podcast via Skype for nine months from a cruise ship? I mean, there would be nothing stopping you from doing
that. Except for most things. Well, I mean, yeah, the reliability of the internet would be one of
my star link. The wanting to be on a cruise, having a family. I mean, lots of things holding
you back. But like, you know, the number one thing would just be like, yeah, how reliable would it
be? So it obviously didn't sell well.
And so they're like, fuck, how do we fill this ship?
Because it's a huge ship and they're not making any cash.
They go, okay.
A few months out they're panicking because it's been on sale
for a few years.
A few years?
Yeah.
Well, people have got to plan ahead for nine months.
It's not like Leonardo when you just like win a hand at poker
and you're like, oh, three minutes to get on the boat,
like whatever they say.
Yeah. So they go, okay, well, let minutes to get on the boat, like whatever they say. Yeah.
So they go, okay, well, let's chop it up into continents.
They're called segments.
So there's four different segments of the cruise.
They go, oh, well, if people aren't buying the nine months,
maybe people might buy like, you know, a segment.
So they'll just do the Asia bit for a few months.
Oh, yeah.
So this starts.
That's probably a better plan.
But then there's some people who bought the nine months who were like,
I actually, if I could just do two segments and then fuck off,
I'd probably prefer that.
Because I've got to get back to work.
Yeah, so they've like downgraded their thing.
And then they've gone, oh, shit, okay, well,
we've got to sell the two remaining because they've only taken the other two.
So we've got to put them in a discount.
And then some people have realised, oh,
I can get a refund on my nine months and just buy four individual segments
and it's cheaper.
Oh, well, that is a total fuck up from the cruise people.
Yeah, they fucked that right up.
But then this is where, so it just took off like a few weeks ago, right?
And this is where the drama starts.
So the people who have got the full nine-month ticket,
they're obviously pissed because they've paid full price, full price.
And probably two years ago.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then there's other people doing the same trip for half the money
and they're like, well, fuck you.
We're supposed to be – we're the loyal ones.
We're the ones that signed up.
And so –
But also reselling it cheaper, like that's just what –
like even if you buy concert tickets and then they do like, oh,
like hot ticks, $60, like that always – like, hot tics, 60 bucks, like, that always happens.
Like, I don't think you can be pissed off at that.
Like, I know that you would be, but you, like.
What was that book and movie where they eat the baby
and the kids are on the island?
What?
Lord of the Flies.
Thank you.
Oh, what the fuck?
Oh, obviously I know what you're talking about.
What's that book and movie where they eat a baby?
The fact you went from what the fuck to knowing exactly what I meant
within.4 seconds.
Because we're best friends.
This is where, is it called Pigs Might Fly?
What's it called again?
Lord of the Flies.
Lord of the Flies.
Pigs Might Fly.
It gets a bit Lord of the Flies because basically.
Do they not have enough food?
There's no boys being eaten.
What?
Girls being eaten probably.
That's a cruise I'd go on for nine months.
Yeah.
Is it, though?
Nah.
Nine months?
After, like, ten minutes, you'd be like,
I'm pretty good.
I've had enough.
Yeah.
See you tomorrow.
So if you bought the full nine months,
you get, like...
Pregnant.
You get invited to the elite meeting
called the town hall meeting.
Oh, my God.
They vote people off.
Chuck them off the edge.
But it's like we're making decisions and only the elite people get to vote.
So the elite.
They've created a society.
Yeah, so this is where it's fucking getting crazy.
This is what shit's going down.
So what happens is, right, they're like, oh.
This is a stunt.
This isn't real.
It can't be.
That is so tapped. So say they've got like 25 days to get from A to B, right, they're like, oh. This is a stunt. This isn't real. It can't be. That is so tapped.
So say they've got like 25 days to get from A to B, right?
Yeah.
And then they can vote and go, oh, well,
do we want to port here for three days or would we prefer to go
to that island or do we want to stay out at sea?
All right, well, all the elites, because there's the elites
and the regulars, and so the elites get invited
to the elite town hall and they go, oh, let's all vote.
We'll go over to there.
But then this is where it gets more fucked. People are rocking up to the elite town hall and they go, oh, let's all vote. We'll go over to there. But then this is where it gets more fucked.
People are rocking up to the elite meeting going, yeah,
I'm here for nine months.
And they go, no, no, you paid for four segments.
You didn't pay for the nine month ticket.
So you're no longer welcome at the town hall meeting.
So you don't get a say.
You have to go back to the regular people chat and you'll just.
Sit at the back of the bus.
Yeah.
And then guess what?
They get, they're heading up towards where's the Northern lights. Where the fuck is chat and you'll just. Sit at the back of the bus. Yeah. And then guess what? They get, they're heading up towards, where's the Northern Lights?
Where the fuck is that?
Europe, Iceland.
Scandinavia.
Only the elites get to go on a separate private boat to like cruise up and see the Northern
Lights because the regular basics don't get that shit.
So it's like become a two class to society.
That is.
It's crazy shit.
People are going to study this boat for decades in like psychology
and society and stuff.
Are we sure it's not a reality show?
No, we are not sure.
But if you just type in TikTok nine months,
trick your algorithm into thinking you live for this shit because once
you see two TikToks, you will.
Because there's like people on the boat being like, hey,
let me show you my room.
And some of the rooms are like two-story with a walk-in robe
and a balcony and like a dressing room.
Yeah, like it's a year that you're on there so you want a big room and stuff.
Yeah, but similar to Titanic, then there's like third class
and it's like the size of my fucking drink bottle
and they're living in there for nine months and it's awful.
So then there's these deals going on.
It's taking water on.
It's just completely wrong.
So the people who are living in a drink bottle go, oh, fuck,
it must be nice up there with the views and stuff.
Because some of the rooms are in the middle of the ship
and there's no windows and stuff.
So are they upgrading?
So they go, hey, I'm getting a bit sick of being in the middle here.
What about I give you some cash and one day a week I'll come
and live in your penthouse and you come down here
and I'll hook you up with some meal tickets or some money and stuff
and there's like a little bit of underhanded business going on.
But if they're struggling to sell the tickets,
surely they would be able to upgrade for cheap or something
to the nine segment thing or whatever?
Well, I think the nine ones are gone.
Oh, that's all gone?
Yeah, I don't know.
Because I'm just like.
Because some of them were $120,000 for the top end for the nine months.
Because as you said before, it's all the food and all the stuff
and the room and the cleaning.
And the top rooms are fucking nice and the shit rooms are fucking shit.
So then there's a bit of like, oh, you're one of the rich people
with a nice room where you don't get to complain
because you've got the nice room.
Or like, oh, are you not going on the boat to the Northern Lights?
You know what I mean?
Like, oh, are you not doing on the boat to the Northern Lights? You know what I mean? Like, oh, are you not doing that?
Yeah.
So are you, and we'll probably know by the end of the year,
but are you claiming reality show bullshit?
Oh, I just wonder because that is unhinged.
You can't create an upper class society.
That is horrifying.
So apparently there's no cameras on board,
but after the first few weeks,
I don't know if it's production companies or the cruisers or fucking the
world.
But they've bought tickets.
They're on.
I think people are like,
let's get the fuck on this thing because it sounds fascinating.
Louis Theroux needs to jump on there.
He does.
I'd watch that documentary.
The thing is though,
is that like this boat.
And you also can't leave because what the fuck,
you're on a cruise ship.
Well, yeah.
So when the society gets too rough, you can't just like take a walk.
Well, I mean you can't in real life I guess either because society is.
Is everywhere.
Is everywhere.
We're not just on a boat.
But surely even the like shit rooms aren't that cheap.
No, no, they're a fair bit, yeah.
I think the cheapest might have been 50, 60 grand.
That's like a lot of money.
So it's not as if the people in the shit rooms are like, you know,
paid a dollar and they're really like on the bone.
All of these people are rich.
Although if you're, say you lived in New York and you're going, okay,
I'm paying this much rent, I pay this much in food,
this much for the train, blah, blah, blah, blah,
it might still be cheaper or similar to just living.
Like it might be, yeah, not like I've spent more to go on this cruise.
It might be cheaper than not being on the cruise.
I guess more what I mean is like it's not as if like those people are still
like the people in the shit rooms are still obviously rich enough
to like go and do this thing
because like you have to be.
It's like such a privileged thing to be able to do because you,
like whether it is the time off work or the money or whatever.
So it's not as if it's like poor and rich people like it was
on the Titanic.
It's like a heap of rich people all on the boat together
and some are just richer now.
What's that other fuck kids book we have to read in school?
Animal Farm.
I haven't seen that.
Read that.
Okay.
So it's like also like explains like political systems or some bullshit.
Beautiful.
But there was one because it starts with it's all nice and fair and then over time it gets
like more cooked.
Yeah.
And I remember one of the rules was like everyone is equal.
But then by the end of the book it goes everyone's equal but some are more equal than others.
Wow. You've quoted two books today. And but some are more equal than others. Wow.
You've quoted two books today.
And I've never read in my life.
Yeah.
I'm good at the headlines.
Because before an exam, I go, hey, tell me two things that happened.
Give me the highlight.
Yeah.
And they go, oh, he says this.
And I go, oh, yeah, I can use that somewhere.
Great.
Yeah.
The class system is provided by, yeah.
That is cooked.
I can't believe I haven't heard about that.
But type in once the nine-month cruise into TikTok.
And I'll see it.
And then it'll start firing up.
And because there's people on it showing you around,
here's what a day.
And the thing is, I'm pretty sure, and Phoebe,
correct me if I'm wrong, I think a few influencers are on it,
like on behalf of the boat, and they're trying to, like, talk it up.
Oh, it's so great.
Look how good the food is.
And then other people who aren't getting spawned kind of like,
nah, let me show you what it's actually like.
Like Fyre Festival.
All those hot models are like, it's great here.
And they're like, yeah, I've got a piece of cheese.
I don't think the models made it to Fyre.
They're in front of a green screen of Fyre Festival.
They're like, I'm having such a great time.
Yeah, they weren't there.
Nah. Kylie Jenner's on that boat. having such a great time. Yeah, they weren't there. Nah.
Fuck.
Kylie Jenner's on that boat.
What, 10 grand?
Yeah, far out.
Watch this space, guys.
This is only just getting started.
Oh, and get your algorithms going.
We need to talk about this boat.
I'm pretty sure someone also broke a leg and tried to get off
and shit's gone and they couldn't.
Or people have, like, after a few days gone, oh.
The thing about cruising is, like, you're on a boat and I don't like it.
Well, yeah.
But like on the second day.
Imagine finding that out the hard way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't watch all of Titanic.
I didn't know they were on a boat.
Yeah.
All good though.
All good.
So just to confirm, you will be calling over the waitress.
I'll call the waitress.
Hey, it's Nancy from California and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
You bloody love to see it.
Tapas, that's Tony and Ryan podcast-ers.
Sorry, I'm being silenced by the boat.
Yeah.
Big boat.
The big boat.
Exactly right.
Sydney Bone.
Good on you, Sydney.
Thank you.
Mercedes Stewart.
Beautiful.
Chantal Nicole.
Doesn't that just sound like a fancy perfume?
Should we go into the Northern Lights? What are you wearing?
Chantal Nicole.
It really does.
Can you say the rest of the names for today as if they were a fancy perfume? Fancy perfume. Should we go to the Northern Lights? What are you wearing? Chantal Nicole. It really does. Can you say the rest of the names for today as if they were a fancy perfume?
Fancy perfume.
What are you wearing?
Sydney Bone.
Mercedes Stewart.
Chantal Nicole.
Billy Garner.
That one doesn't really fit.
Billy Garnier.
When they're all like Chanel number five, Garnier.
And also Jared Tapper Robertson, who we've met in Perth.
We have.
Yeah, he's back.
Champion Tapa.
Great to have you back.
Jared actually got it as a Christmas present,
being part of the Patreon, which is quite creative.
It's a great present.
Yeah.
But you'll have to see it.
Thank you so much for being part of the Patreon.
You love to see it.
We found out late last year that a few tarpers have full names
for their pets.
So when they're in trouble, they can roll out a –
did you get a Tony Louise Lodge?
Fuck yeah.
Not normally the Lodge as well.
It was Tony Louise.
Yeah.
Tony Louise was that.
Yeah.
Probably never had a Lodge on the end, but yeah, Tony Louise.
Through gritted teeth.
M is their name, said their cat's name is Fish.
That is so cute.
Side note, how do we feel about people with animals naming them
after other animals?
I think it's adorable.
I think it's so cute.
So what was on your list of dog names instead of Pippa?
Frog.
Yeah.
Pepperoni.
Frog was the animal one, eh?
Frog was the animal one.
Yeah, I think Moose also was on the list.
That would probably be a little boy dog.
Sounds more like a moose.
I don't even know if it matters, but when you considered calling it Moose, I-
You thought it was the food
yeah
M-O-U-S-S-E
yeah
yeah nah it was
yeah
oh that one yeah
well if you had said it properly
it wasn't
it was
yeah
I'm getting it
my love to
can my love to say
just be chocolate moose
me doing that
oh
can you make it in your thing
I said that I made it yesterday.
Can you make it for Saturday when I come over?
Yep.
Yeah, I can.
Sorry, I was just thinking about how long it's going to take you.
Chocolate mousse can fuck.
Oh, if it's too hard, don't worry about it.
No, no, no, if that's what you want.
Do you agree that chocolate mousse is awesome?
Mate, yes.
Thank you.
Don't you remember my very first.
I'd name a dog after it.
My first ever you loved to see it was Chocolate Mousse.
Yes.
I knew this was a thing.
Familiar.
See, you are just thinking you're saying stuff all the time,
like the cruise thing, the moose thing, everything.
You're losing it.
Like Fisher.
I'm losing it.
Anyway, yeah, I can make you a moose in my quiche.
I can't believe your first ever was chocolate mousse.
Yeah.
Because it was another Red Rooster one.
Yeah, and that's how the Red Rooster KFC argument became a thing.
Good times.
Yeah.
It's really timeless content that we're putting out, isn't it?
Oh, wow, they all come back around, don't they?
Yeah, just like fashion at the moment because Bridget's getting really
triggered by like young girls being like, oh,
there's this new fashion where it's like low-rise jeans and Bridget's like,
don't fucking at me with that stuff, mate.
I was there 20 years ago.
Yeah, back in the day, yeah.
A lot of people, tapas, have gone back and listened
to the first few episodes.
Have you gone back and listened to the first few episodes of this show?
No, I haven't.
I haven't only because I like to live in the present
and because I find that maybe it would feel really narcissistic
for like me to be going through the drive-through and they're like, what are you listening to? I'm like, oh, me. and because I find that maybe it would feel really narcissistic for,
like, me to be going through the drive-thru and they're like,
what are you listening to?
I'm like, oh, me.
I just say it's work, just checking some stuff.
Yeah, just, oh, yeah, just doing some.
What drive-thrus are you going through on the way home?
Like, I don't have a car right now.
My boyfriend has one.
The drive-thru of life.
Yeah.
The drive-thru of life.
Em says, my cat's name is Fish.
Cute.
And I figured Kish.
Oh, DCI, DCI.
I figured Fish rhymed with Chris.
So when they've done something wrong, it's the full Fishtifa.
Fishtifa, that's very cute.
And when I call him Fishtifa, he knows.
Oh, he would too.
Mari has a cat named Leo.
But when Leo is in the wrong, it's Leonardo DiCatrio.
Get back here.
That's so cute.
River has a cat named Socks.
That is a cute name for a cat.
That is.
But when Socks fucked up, Frederick McSockingston.
Get back over here.
I wonder where the Frederick came from.
Oh, sorry.
And it's Frederick McSockingston III.
Oh, the third.
Oh, God.
Forgive me. Do you have a full name for your dog BJ?
Well, BJ became Bronson Johnson, as you know,
because my grandma's maiden name is Johnson.
And then I think another tarpa has a Bronson Johnson.
Yeah. Which I saw in the comments as well. tarpa has a Bronson Johnson. Yeah.
Which I saw in the comments as well.
But, yeah, Bronson Johnson.
But I think the same.
I'm Bronson.
BJ.
And you're also a fan of, like, BJ.
Like, you're like, BJ.
Like, how could you?
How could you?
Yeah.
But usually just a Bronald.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Lady Red Pirate.
That's the username.
Is that the pet name?
Just reading out the thing.
It's surprisingly not.
Lady Red Pirate has a cat named Pickles.
That's such a cute name for a cat.
About when pickles are stuffed up.
Sir John Jamison Pickleback.
Get in here.
Like a shot?
Like the shot?
Like a pickleback?
You know that like?
As soon as I heard pickleback, it just reminded me of like Nickelback
and then I was.
Oh, that's very funny.
Oh, see, that's where our heads are at.
Mine went to the shot, which is called a pickleback,
where you have like pickle juice and whiskey.
That sounds awful.
And then you have like a bit of a pickle and then you eat the thing.
Yeah, anyway. Pickle juice is apparently really good for you. I don't know if it's not whiskey. Is it? It's awful. And then you have like a bit of a pickle and then you eat the thing and yeah.
Anyway.
Pickle juice is apparently really good for you.
I don't think it's not whiskey.
Is it?
I don't think it would be because it's like salt and brine.
But like if you've got a cramp or something, you're supposed to have pickle juice.
Oh, so that doesn't mean it's good for you.
It means it's good for cramps.
If you have cramps.
Yeah.
At the time.
Amy has a cute little pup named Taco.
Oh, that is a cute name for a dog. I fucking love that name for a dog.
But Taco is actually an acronym because when Taco is in trouble.
So it's a bit like Tarp.
Yeah.
Taco is in trouble.
They get the full Teddington Archibald Cornelius Octavius.
How can you remember that?
It's too much hard work.
How do you remember?
That's it.
Like if I was doing that and people was in trouble and I went,
Penelope introverted possum Arnold.
You know, it's too much.
Yeah, it's too much.
Jo has a cat named Smudge.
But when Smudge is in trouble, it's Lord Richard Smudgerton.
I like that.
I think giving a Lord or a Lordess or something official
is really hitting it right.
I think that people are just naming their cats super well.
Yeah.
All these cats have just got really good names.
Good cats.
Good cats.
Good puss.
Are you now inspired to?
Well, I feel like there's a lot of pressure because those names are really good,
but I don't think I would remember them.
Especially in the heat of the battle.
Like when you needed them, it means you're at your wits end already.
You're already stressed.
Yeah, and I feel like that's when you need a.
But if you're just mucking around and you go like,
Penelope Archington the fucking ding dong, whatever. Whatever they said.
We're not doing ding dongs this year.
I'm not allowed to do ding dong anymore.
Out for 2024 ding dong.
It was out for 2023, but see where we are.
Or now that you've had a year off, are you reintroducing it?
I'm back, yeah.
I have called her like Pip Nellope before because remember we said
we liked the name Penelope.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I've called her like, oh, Pipnelope,
like she's a fancy lady, or like Pippington.
Pippington's fun.
I've done a Pippington.
Could she be Lord S. Pippington II?
But that feels like when she's being like given her dinner.
That doesn't feel like when she's in trouble.
True.
Lord S. Pippington II, your salmon has arrived.
Your salmon awaits. Fresh
from the Abbotsford
part of the Yarra River.
I went and speared it myself.
I would do that for her as well.
You would. What do you love to see today,
Tony Lodge? Katie Richens.
Our mate Katie Richens. Our, yes.
Sent in some quite amazing
coincidence chat and I love
to see it. I know. So as soon as you mention coincidence chat, and I love to see it.
I know.
So as soon as you mention coincidence chat, the guard goes up.
So hang on.
Is this straight up great or is it like a funny shit one?
Genuinely, I think this is a very good coincidence.
I'm not calling you a liar.
I'm not saying you're wrong, but I will say that I will be the judge of that.
No, and that's fine.
Katie Richens, I have the ultimate coincidence chat shit.
This will blow your mind.
Our new car's number plate, they just bought a brand new Toyota Kluger.
Yep. They parked up at Woolies right behind another brand new Toyota Kluger
with the exact same number plate sequence
except they had the next one up.
And it was a Toyota Kluger?
Yes.
That's no coincidence.
That's just how it works.
No, it isn't.
Yep.
Because Toyota goes, yep, we've got 10 new Klugers.
Can you send 10 new plates?
And they're in the same area.
Oh, they must have got them from Northside Toyota.
Sorry, they weren't the same. They were Toyota. Sorry, they weren't the same.
They were different years.
So they weren't like both.
But wouldn't that be also like both a used car?
Yeah, like so they just got a new Kluger.
And so the cars were.
Are you saying my theory though?
No, no, no, I do.
Like the dealerships maybe ordered 10 new plates?
Nah.
So both on Klugers, the exact same, sorry, I said they were the same year.
Both on the same colour but different years.
Okay.
So Katie's car is, oh, I don't want to read out the number plate,
but it's like XXXXXG and then the other car was XXXXXH.
Like the exact same.
I think it's a really good coincidence.
You're backing that one in?
That is an amazing coincidence.
Because I know what you mean.
If they were brand new, then yeah, they ordered them.
Straight off the lot.
Yeah, yeah.
Then they just go, oh, we need 20 new number plates.
Yeah.
You know, they're actually, they're not supposed to do that.
Aren't they?
Nah.
So when I bought my car, so I bought my car brand new and I was like, obviously you already have the number plate for it so that I can like call
the insurance or whatever.
They go, nah, that is super illegal.
It's not allowed to have a number plate on it until they actually like sell it.
Like plate it and sell it.
Yeah, because if it hasn't been, like obviously if it's a used car,
it's already been registered, that's different.
But yeah, it's like.
Really?
Yeah.
That's good intel.
They're not supposed to give you a number plate number until, like,
when you have it.
Did you ever consider getting personalized plates?
No fucking way.
Yeah.
Absolutely not.
But will you pay?
This is a great coincidence, I feel.
I actually have a video here of it, but I don't want to,
because she reads the number plate out, but I can play the video.
Hang on.
Is that because she, like, they won't believe it unless I get footage?
Well, I think she was just, well, yeah, probably.
Because it's pretty cool.
I think you have to pay that.
That's a good coincidence.
Okay.
Show me the video.
I don't want to.
Oh.
Because it's got like the, yeah.
But I want to hear her enthusiasm.
I don't know if, oh, hang on. Oh, fuck. I haven't saved hear her enthusiasm. I don't know if...
Oh, hang on.
Oh, fuck.
I haven't saved the video.
I just took a screenshot.
I can show you the video after because I've got it in my DM.
She sent it to me on Instagram.
Did she send the video to James Cameron and was like,
there's probably a film in this?
I've just got the nastiest, most unimpressed look I've ever got from Tony.
And that's... I've had a few in my time.
And this is so unimpressed.
Do you think we should do a coincidence chat this year?
Babe, what the hell?
This is our car.
I just parked behind that car.
Babe, what the...
It's pretty good.
It's a good coincidence.
It's pretty good.
I think you love to see that.
It's pretty good. That's fucking better than, oh, I good. I think you love to see that. It's pretty good.
That's fucking better than, oh, I met someone who maybe went to school with my brother.
I disagree.
You know, we've got to, like, let's remember the calibre that we've seen.
Actually, now that you've said that.
You've been a real hater-hater.
That's all I can say.
No, you're hating on me hating.
You're a hater-hater.
I'm just a hater.
What do you love to see?
NBC has signed Snoop Dogg onto its Olympic commentary team
for the 2024 Paris Olympics.
I did see this and I did think you would like this.
I love this.
If you haven't already seen the original.
Can I play a snippet?
Yeah, yeah.
So this is Snoop Dogg and Kevin Hart watching the equestrian.
The equestrian, yeah.
They call this Equestrian.
Oh, the horse crip walking, girl.
You see that?
On the set.
That's gangsta's look.
Hey!
Oh, girl.
Oh, look at this, girl.
Oh, come on, man.
This horse is off the chain.
I got to get this motherfucker in the video.
I'm here for it.
It's amazing.
And I love that they've lent into it and that he's going to be doing the interviews.
And they've got the official NBC coat.
Yeah, they're wearing the blazer.
It just looks all official and shit.
Well, congratulations on Snoop Dogg, the king of merch.
Except for George Foreman.
Except for George Foreman.
I gave the George Foreman grill, I, I think I said as a Christmas present.
Oh.
And it went off.
I kept mine to use.
Yeah, I mean, we've all had good times.
Yeah.
We've all had good times.
It was probably received by my cousin, Georgia and Lucas.
Thank you so much for listening.
Oh, my God, we're back tomorrow.
First normal on R of the year.
And there's a banger as well, according to Tony Lodge.
I did send you a Normal On Air.
Yeah.
I'm contributing in for 2024.
Tony contributing.
I'm here for it.
I'm here for it.
We'll chat to you then.
Love you.
Bye.