Toni and Ryan - The Semen Demon
Episode Date: April 8, 2024The confessions have taken a DARK TURN TEAM!!! Love ya!!! Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @r...yan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Tony. I'm about to have a meltdown because my mug is too big.
Things are really happening today.
Hold it up in case this is a video show.
The mug's the size of your head.
It's actually huge.
I love a big mug though. It just really warms you up and feels wholesome.
It's like thick as well. That's just from Kmart. Not an ad.
Really?
Yeah.
Should be an ad. I meant really isn't from Kmart. Not really. Is it not an ad?
Oh.
Just spat your own coffee back into your mug.
Okay. Who are we calling?
We're calling Trevor from Kmart.
We're calling Trevor and he is
from Coatesville, Pennsylvania.
And you know what they like to put on?
Kmart coats.
Sorry. Jackets.
Jackets. We went to Pennsylvania.
Trevor.
Holy shit.
Trevor, Trevor.
The phone didn't even ring.
Trevor?
Trevor?
Are you there?
Hello.
Hi, Trevor.
Trevor, you got us?
Yes, I hear you.
Trevor, it is a dream come true to talk to you, Trevor.
How are things in Pennsylvania today?
Really good, really good.
It's beautiful here.
We got 70s.
We're good.
It's real dreary in Melb's at the moment, so I'm jealous.
Now, when we did our road trip around Pennsylvania and drove to Intercourse,
Blue Balls, Virginville, um, paradise, paradise.
Are we anywhere near you?
Um, I think so.
I'm kind of new to this area, but we're, we're near like, uh,
Oh, what is it called?
Like, uh, intercourse and stuff like that.
So yeah.
We're near intercourse.
I mean, you're only one damn away from intercourse at all times
in the big city, so keep that in mind.
Exactly right.
I've always said that, Trevor.
Will you approve today's podcast, Trev?
Absolutely.
Fuck yeah.
Yeah, legend.
Get some intercourse.
Calm down, mate.
Go to the Blue Ball Express.
Hey, this is Trevor from Pennsylvania, and I approve this podcast.
All right, coming up today.
I've got to move.
Move house?
Yep.
What about the lawn?
Hey.
I've got to move.
Move house?
Yep.
What about the lawn?
I'm really upset about it, to be honest, but what happened is so much worse.
What then?
We'll get a new lawn.
It's not good.
What?
We've got to move and I actually need your help.
Moving? You know when your friends are moving and you get fucking roped into it?
Do you know what I reckon the strongest and toughest thing
that I've ever done is when someone said to me,
we're moving on the weekend and instead of the empty offer,
you know what I said?
Fuck, hope it goes okay.
Huge.
That's a great move.
Isn't it?
Power move a little bit.
Yeah.
Because when you say, oh, we're moving, you just expect
that people go, oh, do you guys need a hand?
Or we've got some boxes from the last time we moved.
And someone said that to me recently and I went, fuck,
hope it goes all right.
You need to borrow Mabel because we went to Dave Parsons' new house.
You did too?
And they were about to move in and I was with child.
I was like, oh, gosh, looks like you've got a big day ahead.
Oh, but unfortunately.
What was that, mate?
Oh, time for a nap.
All right, well, good luck on Boxing Night. And she can't move.
She can't nap here because of the eastern seaboard time difference.
Like you just can't with some crazy information.
Sandringham to Altham is a bit different.
It's the south of the city, mate.
It's not possible.
Yeah, they can't sleep there.
It's a fact.
Right now, though, this is the Confessions.
I love Confessions Day, even though I'm pretty sure they're all fake
and I just lap it up.
TonyandRyan.com.au.
We have been burned by a few fake confessions in the past,
but don't let that ruin a great Tuesday.
Don't let a bad spoil the broth.
What's that saying?
Bad egg spoil the broth.
No, that's not it.
You've got to crack an egg to make a broth
no that's omelette yeah you've gotta broth a bog to broth a bag what's the saying don't let a bad
something spoil the broth is that a that's a saying i thought if she doesn't put out go to
the broth what's the don't let her because it's like too many cooks in the kitchen.
Yeah.
And then there's the other one of like too many cooks spoil the broth,
but is it like don't let a bad something spoil the broth?
Is that a saying?
If I don't pull Tony out of this wormhole,
she'll be able to get out of it herself.
Yeah, I'm stuck right in.
Is it Jersey or Guernsey?
Oh, don't.
I heard actually that the Jersey Guernsey thing,
they mean it's a bit like Palmer or Palmy.
Oh. So it's like a location like Palmer or Palmy. Oh.
So it's like a location is what makes the difference.
Right.
I'm just going to have to let that saying go
and I actually am really struggling today.
So I'm going to have to let that go and you can all appreciate
that I'm just doing it.
Is it true that off air you came in and said,
I know it's a Tuesday but I've got Monday vibes.
I've got Monday vibes.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
You just settle in and listen to this confession.
Just enjoy.
Yeah.
Mannequin hookup.
Oh, fucking hell.
Okay.
Anonymous says.
I've instantly forgotten everything that I've ever thought about.
Anonymous says, I don't want to yuck anyone else's yum.
Here we go.
They all start with good.
But a guy on Grindr wanted me to pretend he was
a mannequin for a sex thing and i've felt weird about it ever since pretend he was a mannequin
what dress him this guy goes to my gym bump into him in the shops and say sorry
that's funny yeah see him in good clothes decide to buy it and then work out that i don't look good
in that you know when you we've talked that, you bump into the mannequin.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, sorry.
And the lady goes, oh, sorry, I thought you were a mannequin.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
This guy goes to my gym.
He always looks happy.
And we've exchanged looks in the gym.
You know, when you like walk past, you're like, you know,
they're kind of like a mutual.
And then they found each other on Grindr.
So you're like.
Meant to be.
It's meant to be.
And because you often see the same crew at a gym
or if you go to a sports class, it's like.
The same people.
People, yeah, because they either do the 5am round
or the 6pm class or whatever.
He messages and says, pick me up from my apartment,
literally pick me up, take me to your car,
drive me back to your place, carry me up, take me to your car, drive me back to your place,
carry me inside, set me up like a mannequin, get yourself off and then when you're done, put me back in the car,
take me back home again.
Can't I just jerk off at your house?
But like.
At first I thought he was joking, but he was dead serious.
If he is into that, this is what they've said.
Let me read the line.
Yep.
If he is into that, that is totally fine.
Actually all good.
But it's also totally fine for me to not be into that.
Completely agree.
Very fair.
Not yucking anyone's yum.
But I'm not carrying you from
your house to my house
to jerk off and then
carry you back again. I said
that I didn't want to be seen literally
carrying another man in and out of my
car and in and out of my apartment building.
Very fair. Very fair.
Yeah, you're not in a house. You can't be bloody
lifting someone into the lift. So I
said no. Up the stairs. So I said no.
Lift's not working.
Up the stairs.
This guy made out like I was the one being a bit different and weird.
Gaslighting.
Yeah. You mean?
For not thinking this was like the hottest, greatest offer of all time.
And he blocks me on Grindr.
He's done you a favour, babe.
Honestly.
I still see him at the gym.
Oh, I forgot about the IRL meet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He looks over and the guy goes.
This guy.
We're role playing.
This guy's always and still looking really happy
and it makes me think a lot of other people saying yes to this.
Yeah.
Sorry about that.
I sound like Scooby-Doo.
Like a fucking cartoon horse.
He's standing in his own house like a mannequin and you pick up his,
and I don't want to say stiff body, but you pick up his stiff body,
put it in the back of your car, drive to your place, pull it out.
Didn't want to say pull it.
Don't say pull it out.
And then just do your beers and he doesn't move a muscle.
I said this earlier.
Can't you just jerk off at his house?
He could pretend to be a mannequin at his own house and I walk in there,
I jerk off and then leave.
No carrying needed.
Or he can be a mannequin at his house and I can jerk off in my own house
and we can skip all of this bullshit.
I mean, jerking off at your own house obviously is what you'd prefer.
Over most things.
Yeah.
In life.
Name something.
Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?
No.
No, I'd rather jerk off in my own house.
How would you feel about that if you actually mess up?
Hey, do you want to come out for dinner?
I'd go, actually, I'm'm gonna jerk or stay home and joke
i'd fucking respect it to be honest if so if i was talking to someone let's use you as an example
hypothetically no but if i said like do you want to go out for dinner tomorrow night or do you want
to come around and we'll fucking make a pasta and hang out whatever and you went look i've actually
got the house to myself.
I'm really looking forward to ordering Domino's and jerking off.
I would fucking respect that 8 million percent.
The fact that you also know my order.
That is what you would do.
You've got the house to myself.
Oh, should I go get a fancy Italian pizza place?
Nah, mate.
No one's home.
No one's judging.
The footy's on.
You've ordered Domino's.
Actually, tell me my order.
Okay, you would have ordered.
You would have gone, oh, I should do the gluten-free base,
and you wouldn't have done it.
Yep.
And then you would have ordered some chicken bits on the side
with some barbecue sauce and some ranch.
Both sauces, yes.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
And you probably would have done a garlic bread as well just
to really shove the gluten up your ass.
Yeah.
One more wild card for a real treat
at home maybe like a fun drink keep going a seven up more fun a creaming soda more fun but cream is
you would have done a milkshake a thick shake from domino's yeah of course before i get my hand on my
dickies what i believe the line is a thickie and a dickie yeah so you would have ordered that you'd put the footy
on or the cricket or um oceans 11 what an evening it sounds good doesn't it yeah and then to my
plans for tonight and you know what else and this is not a euphemism you'd let the dog on the couch
that sounds like a euphemism but it isn't but it isnism, you'd let the dog on the couch. That sounds like a euphemism.
But it isn't.
It isn't.
You would genuinely let the dog on the couch.
Ron, you jump up here, mate.
Yeah.
Not for the whole night, obviously.
Yeah.
You can stay for a bit.
You're going to see some shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That does sound like a good night.
Isn't that what you would do?
And you'd probably have a little fucking bourbon and Coke or whiskey
and Coke or something.
Yeah, yeah.
Fuck.
A little maker's mark on the side table.
You would.
I could set that up for you.
Tony has just read me like a book.
Yeah.
Yeah.
See, I've put time into this relationship.
Yep.
And ladies and gentlemen, there's nothing else to know about me.
That's pretty much where I'm at.
High smoothie, pizza with lots of gluten a thick shake
a maker's mark yeah and a little good night kiss to yourself yeah sounds all right the thing about
i'm doing that tonight if anyone's got a better night plan than that yeah you're a liar yeah
you are mistaken you would not read about that yeah confession actually i might just i might just take out this headline because oh
okay i think you'll be for this though i'm an 18 year old female swimming instructor
and my confession is that i pee in the pool during most swimming classes
i do five hour shifts they're back to back fuck iimmers on, then a rash vest, then my wetsuit,
and then another like employer-branded wetsuit.
Rash vest, sorry.
There's like 30 seconds between classes.
The kids get out and then the parents from the next class
are just like lobbing them in.
Yeah.
So for me to like get out of the pool, go to the bathroom,
take 67 layers off, pee, get them all back on,
it's just too hard. Yeah. No, pee, get them all back on. It's just, that's too hard.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
I totally, I vibe that.
Yep.
I have to drink water throughout my shift.
Otherwise, all my-
Because you'd be knackered.
Five hours in the pool is fine.
Yeah.
My skin will shrivel up.
My lips start cracking like it's a, you know, it's a full-on job.
I simply don't have the time to hop out and go to the bathroom.
It's not like I'm pooping on them,
but peeing has become an inevitable activity during most classes.
I think that's fine.
I actually think that's so fine.
Yeah.
And if you're drinking heaps of water and you're being active,
your wee is basically water anyway.
Like if you were doing like a stinky hangover piss.
Like a thick mustardy kind of.
Yeah, like you've been on the darts the night before.
Yeah, you haven't eaten any vegetables.
If you were to create the world's dankest piss.
Heaps of coffee, heaps of ciggies, not enough sleep and like no water.
You're basically like piss and stinky butter.
Sorry for that, but it's true.
I know I said dank mustard before before but stinky butter is just so much
worse yeah fuck what did you say dang mustard yeah but it's it is fucked you gotta add asparagus
yeah that adds to the color yeah does it make the does it make the smell worse
i don't want to find out no that's true but yeah I reckon that yeah like but you're not doing a
a stinky hangover piss though
or and I don't want to say
what we're all thinking are we all thinking
the same thing I don't know what you're thinking
sometimes it's not just the wheeze that
are bad after a big night
oh yeah I mean yeah
and I don't mean the poos
oh what's
I don't know what you mean.
If you've had, yeah.
I don't know what you mean and I don't think I want to know.
Yeah.
If there's been a big night, it's not good.
You're talking about what is affectionately known as disco boys?
No, the cummies after a big night.
That is fucking revolto to the extreme.
For the same reasons?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you're like dehydrated,
you've eaten shitty food, like, yeah, it's fucking rank.
So, like, gobbing someone after a night out is like a true testament to love.
Like, because it is crook-ass.
The semen is demon.
And that's the title of today's episode.
Hey, this is Trevor from Pennsylvania,
and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
Yeah. and Ryan.
A massive shout out to a few of our champion darpers,
and I'm sorry that this is the episode that you're being named on the Seaman Demon.
Seaman Demon.
Brooke Jarrett, good on you, Brooke.
David D.
See you later tonight, mate.
That's where the Seaman Demon's coming from. See you tonight, Dave. Kelly Brannan, good on you, Brooke. David D. See you later tonight, mate. That's where the David D. was coming from.
See you tonight, Dave.
Kelly Brannan, good on you, Kel.
Lacey Hartline and Chloe Shea, good on you.
Thank you so much.
It actually might not be Shea.
See ya, maybe?
S-E-A-H.
Chloe, we love you.
S-E-A-H.
So I went Shea like Irish because sometimes the S is like Siobhan.
Say it again.
Because it's not Siobhan.
I need to see it.
S-E-A-H.
Do you reckon that's Shay?
It's like Leah with an S.
But I don't think it's Sia because that's like chandelier.
Chandelier.
No, we're singing a Sia song.
Fuck me.
Okay.
We'll have the Domino's first and we'll get our groove on.
You wouldn't fuck after Domino's though. No, you would settle for'll have the Domino's first and we'll get our groove on. You wouldn't fuck after Domino's though.
No, you would settle for a dehydrated Domino's.
Some stinky butter.
You eat all that food and you go, well, I've got no energy to be on top,
obviously.
Yeah.
Yeah, and if you've both had it, yeah, it's not like one can take one
for the team.
We'll just both lay down and masturbate next week, darling.
Call it or not.
That actually sounds nice, don't you think?
Yeah. Like everyone gets their't you think? Yeah.
Like everyone gets their own job done.
Yeah.
You're only responsible for your own good time.
Yeah.
Sometimes you just don't want the pressure.
Anyway, let's all forget about masturbation because I've got to move house.
Oh.
Yeah.
No.
So where I live out in the country.
You know suburbs of Melbourne.
I've talked about before like when I am going for a run,
how the block I live on is like not my block, my house,
like the city block.
It's like three blocks joined together because there's all these townhouses
like in the middle.
Yep.
So it's not like your standard four-house block, like 4, 4, 4, 4.
It's like 4, 20, 4, 20.
I'm so confused, but please continue.
It's like a big rectangle though.
It's not like just a normal square block.
And so when I go for a walk, walking around the one block
is more than doing a lap of the block.
Gotcha. You end up going lap of the block. Gotcha.
You end up going like three blocks down.
Yeah.
So you know what I mean?
So like it's plenty for Pip.
Yep.
So one lap for her, all good, done for the day.
She's perfect.
And like as long as it's not too hot, like it's a bit more
than just the block, but it's like it's easy.
We're close to home, so I know that if she starts fucking,
if she's had enough, I can pick her up and carry her the rest of the way like we're not really anyway but the thing about walking around your block is that you are really close to your house
yeah and um so often there's been a few times where i've bumped into neighbors that i've met
before and just been on a little wander with people
and we say hi and like, oh, how's work going, whatever,
and that's fine.
It's a pretty cool local area where I live.
Our whole street, we all know each other.
Yep.
And I'm obviously just fitting into the fold there.
I think I've got a group chat that I haven't yet been added to,
which is making me feel a little bit left out.
Yeah, when you say things are going well, like how well?
Well, I'm trying to like get added but it just doesn't happen yet.
Oh, like something, something.
If only there was like some sort of way to like communicate with like everyone.
And I would, you know, drop a little cute one.
Like don't forget it's been night tonight.
I'd hate that.
Like I would drop a little cute one occasionally because that's nice,
isn't it?
Or like, oh, could I pop something in your bin? That would be fun. I would drop a little cute one occasionally because that's nice, isn't it?
Or like, oh, could I pop something in your bin?
That would be fun.
I don't think so.
A lot of bin chat in the group chat.
Anyway, I know a lot of the people that kind of live around us
on that little bit, but you don't really see a lot of other people
because it's kind of like there's like a main road nearby,
so it's like not really like a running track or anything yeah but the other day i'm walking pippa and as we're
on like the long part there's a guy a young guy probably around my age and he's walking his dog
and we're kind of like walking towards each other yeah and pippa's like trotting along and she's
looking all excited and like whenever she sees somebody else walking their dog she's more interested
in the person she's a people person she is a people person she's also a cuddle slut
so anybody that's gonna pat her yeah she's like here we go and she fucking turns it on as well
like she flutters her eyelashes you guys have all seen that like wiggles a little butt wiggles
her little tush and she fucking turns it right on,
like knows how to turn on the charm.
And I think I'm personally pretty charismatic as well.
Okay.
Would you say you had riz?
I think I do have a bit of riz.
I reckon when I need to turn it on, I think I know how to use it.
Okay.
And anyway, so we're like walking along the thing,
this young guy and he's got a little dog.
I think it was like a little Cavalier, like, you know,
with the big floppy ears.
Beautiful.
And like a little dog, like only a little bit bigger than Pippa.
Yeah.
And as we get closer to each other,
I notice that his dog like seems really friendly
and he doesn't pull his dog away from Pippa,
so I didn't pull my dog away.
And they both like slowly walk up to each other and they like went
to sniff each other on the face and whatever.
And they do a little like sniff on the bum, a little sniff on the face,
and the guy goes, oh, little kiss hello because the dogs like sniffed
each other on the face.
And it looked as if they were going like a little peck.
Like, hi, nice to see you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, like, oh, nice to meet you, kind of thing.
They did that and he like smiles at me and I go, like, yeah,
lucky we don't have to do that.
What?
In what world would that be what someone would say?
Not the one I live on.
Not the one I live on.
Like literally obliterate my whole body and kill me dead.
What the fuck, Tony Louise Lodge, have I said in this situation?
What a fucking weird thing to say.
So, okay.
Honestly, I wanted to evaporate.
Yeah, I wish you would.
Yeah, for your, yeah.
For my sake.
I'm rattled.
I'm rattled.
I wasn't even there.
I'm rattled.
So here's the five different ways he could take this.
One, is this girl a freak and do I need to take my dog
and run the fuck away?
Yeah.
Two, is this girl trying to sleep with me?
Is she cracking on?
Is she implying that we should kiss?
Does she want to order a Domino's and masturbate next to each other?
Is that what she's saying?
I think that's what she's saying.
So how did he respond?
So I go, he's like smiling and he's like, oh, yeah, like we don't have to.
I went, oh.
Yeah, imagine if we, like, like we don't.
And he went, yeah.
He didn't want to kiss me at all, you guys.
And then you go, well, I've got a boyfriend.
And I was like.
And he goes like, oh, come on, Jimmy.
Like grabs the dog and they walk off.
Like scurries off down the street.
If anyone would like to move into Tony's area. Yeah, just take my house off me.
It's got a beautiful lawn.
The roof's not great at the moment, but that's okay.
Have you seen this guy before?
Haven't seen him before.
Haven't seen him since.
Maybe he's moved.
So maybe I'm staying.
Maybe you're all good.
Maybe you're fine.
Maybe I can stay there.
I scared him off. I just, it was like I watched'm safe. Maybe you're all good. Maybe I can stay there. I scared him off.
I just, it was like I watched it happen.
You're good.
You're good on the cuff.
You're a people person.
This is your area.
I know.
Let Pippa's butt do the rizzing.
You just sit there and smile.
Oh, we can kiss.
It was like I floated out of my body and watched it happen in slow-mo
and it was me being like, lucky we don't have to do that.
And everything just like slowed right down.
It was like that in fucking Inception and the music's playing
and the fucking buildings are twisting into each other in the background.
The whole world just crumbles.
And it was also that he was smiling and obviously just trying
to be like friendly and silly.
Like he wasn't being creepy.
I didn't intend to be creepy, but he was like just a normal dude.
All creepy people don't think they're being creepy.
They all think they're nice guys.
And so he's like.
Some of them do just have lollipops in a van.
But you.
But he's like gone like.
And then was like, well, yeah, obviously not.
Like you sick freak.
You stupid bitch.
Do you know what I mean?
Like it was you freak.
Like I just felt so embarrassed.
It's not his fault for doing that.
Oh, no, it was mine.
You did this.
I did it.
I was at fault.
And I just.
Would you like a second chance?
No.
That's why I want to move.
I think I need to remove myself from any situation
where I could potentially see this guy again.
And I just couldn't believe it came out of my mouth.
I'm just normally so good.
Or I would just be like, you know, like say nothing, bitch.
Like why didn't I just say nothing?
Instead I said that.
There were two options.
This is fascinating um because
saying nothing has never been an option for you that's true it's not normally my go-to no
and so I don't see that as being the natural response so you're not blaming me for not saying
nothing because I never normally would anyway yes I wouldn't I wouldn't yeah that's not on me
I it's just okay out of anything you could have said, say something else.
Why did I just laugh and go, you know, that's polite.
It is.
That's nice.
It is.
Are you sure you don't want a second?
Just a practice redo with me.
With you?
Okay.
What did the guy say again?
So he said, oh, little kiss hello.
So we're walking.
I've got a little Jimmy.
You got a little Pip.
Oh, Pippa.
Oh, light doggy coming.
What do I say again?
Oh, little kiss hello.
Oh, little kiss hello.
You want.
No.
You want to.
Tony.
Would you like a third go?
Yeah, I need a third go.
Okay, little Jimmy.
Oh, that's a little doggo.
Oh, they're having a little kiss.
Yeah.
Is that fine?
Was that fucking hard?
That wasn't hard at all.
Yeah.
So.
Wow.
Yeah.
But it's like we're all walker all the time.
So I'm like really stressed that I'm going to run into this guy again.
He's going to be like, that's a kissing lady.
That kissing lady.
And he's going to walk over the other side of the car.
She's always trying to kiss me.
She's always trying to kiss me she's always trying to kiss
people on the street tomorrow on the show we're doing things that keep you up at night yeah and
that's my entry for the uh no wonder you've come in and feeling a bit feeling a bit flustered
fuck yeah i just that's fucked dude that's out of all the things you've done that's pretty up there
it's really not great and i just like it came out of my mouth and i was like embarrassed like i was like i was literally like i don't know if you're looking for looking
to me for some sort of defense here no i think i know how bad my crime was yeah my social crime
um let's do we love to see it to just move the fuck on from this awful situation
but good luck to you and your neighbors thanks future endeavors yep they're gonna need it and so will i shayla uh i got my first paid job as a drama teacher in the theater company oh
wow i've been studying my ba for three years doing lots of unpaid volunteer work and internships
because it's one of those industries you kind of need experience but how do you get experience
you don't have experience all that kind of stuff. As a former theatre person, and people hold on to those jobs like so tight.
Yeah.
My husband was really proud of me.
He gave me this mug,
which was the Start the Fucking Blog mug
from tonyandryan.com.au
with a handwritten note
saying how proud of me he was working hard
and starting my fucking blog.
He's actually the greatest.
I married my best friend.
Now, you recently got a handwritten note from Mabel, my daughter.
I did, yeah.
Handwritten notes.
They're back, I reckon.
Yeah.
A nice bit of stationery.
But just the fact that someone sat down and put the effort in.
That's why I like birthday cards.
Like the fact that someone's written.
A card, yeah.
So, I don't know if it's the
new job, or
the handwritten letter, or the mug, but there's just
lots of... Or the husband. Just the husband
in general, yeah. A lot going
right here for Shayla. You love to fucking see
it. You love to see that. Thank you for sharing that,
Shayla. Yep. That's great.
My love to see it's from Nancy
Davis, and I've just sent you a little picture of a meme here.
Nancy says, this is what I love to see,
people outing themselves doing something I too have been guilty of doing.
And it's a little meme.
And the caption is,
pretending to be a sophisticated tea drinking adult while on a Zoom meeting.
And then it shows from what it would look like from the side,
and then it shows that in the top it's full of mini M&Ms.
So, like, you're just on a call and you're like, hmm, interesting.
And then you're just taking a mouthful of M&Ms out of a coffee cup.
Everyone else on the Zoom call is like, that seems like a very chewy tea.
They're very grown up, aren't they?
Yeah, make sure you're on mute before you start chewing
into your fucking AirPods microphone.
So, I left the tea bag in the thing.
Oh, yeah.
So bitter.
I like that.
I rate that.
I thought that was good too.
And Nancy said, I do this with mini peanut butter cups
in like a red water cup.
So she's got like a cup of water and she's like, yeah,
let me think on that.
And then eats a peanut butter cup.
I just thought, have a bit of fun.
Live your best life.
Have a bit of candy. Who sent that to you Have a bit of candy while you're in a meeting.
Nancy.
Nancy, well spotted.
Yeah.
Thanks for sharing.
That's unreal.
Thanks, Nancy.
Tomorrow on the show, things that keep you up at night.
Surprisingly, Tony Lodge is out jumping the gun this morning
and probably won't be sleeping for a while.
Yeah, no, I'm up.
Now, you're threatening to leave your neighbourhood
and I'm going to say justified.
Yeah, thank you.
I think because of me, one of my neighbours is threatening
to leave the area and I'm in a bit of a, I wouldn't say a dispute.
Neighbour dispute?
Oh, that guy Sebastian when he was building his house.
Remember that?
Oh, that was bad.
Oh, lots of drama.
I don't, it's not a dispute.
It's just like.
You've been putting things in people's bins.
I have, but that's not what we're talking about today.
Oh, thank God, yeah.
I'll run you through it tomorrow and you can,
I'll give you a play by play.
All right.
Okay.
Love y'all.
What was that?
For a moment I thought.
You've just done what I did with the dog, man.
No.
As bad as what I said was,
it was nowhere near as bad as what you said.
Disagree.
For a moment.
No, in the episode thread,
let us know whether you think what I said was worse
or Ryan saying love y'all at the end of the podcast.
Well, first of all, I do love y'all.
And second of all...
Let us know which one you think is worse.
I was thinking about my cowboy hat because I think I've listened
to Beyonce's country album and it's like infecting me.
I mean, I've got the cowboy hat.
Yeah, I do.
In Dallas.
Yeah.
So.
You let us know which one's worse.
I do love y'all.
Oh, you've said it three times now.
All right.
Yeah, it's not getting better either, is it?
No, no, no.
Arguably getting worse.
Yeah. Imagine if we kissed. No, see, still bad. All right. Yeah, it's not getting better either, is it? No, no, no. Arguably getting worse.
Yeah.
Imagine if we kissed.
Nut seep, still bad.
All right.
Love you, bye.