Toni and Ryan - The Swiss Army Knife of Overachievers
Episode Date: September 4, 2024Normal or nah, and a bunch of ROASTING. Will our friendship make it???? Love u xoxoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan o...n Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. I'm the vice captain of the ship.
This is Captain Dr. Arthur, CEO Tony Lodge.
Woo!
Chief Executive.
Orgasm Officer.
That's CEO. Oh.
Oh, CEO?
Who are we calling?
Is everyone okay?
I am actually not.
Have some cold water.
Should we stop the pod and start again?
I don't want to. No, I want to keep recording because I don't know what's about to happen.
I need evidence.
But let's call Emily, who's from Melbourne.
Oh, big M.
Oh, the milk.
Hello.
Emily.
It's Tony and Ryan.
How are you doing?
I'm good.
How are you?
Yeah, we're good.
You sound shocked.
Is it because we're earlier than normal?
Yes.
And you know what's funny is I'm about to walk into an F45 class and I was like, I'm
going to have to run out mid-session.
Fuck and brag about it, Emily.
I couldn't give a fuck that you're about to go to an F45 class.
Yeah, Emily, tell us how it is being like hot and ripped and shit.
Yeah, all good.
Whatever.
Just me out of breath.
Usually that's about it.
And also the commitment to running out of an F45 class.
I'm like 50 bucks each.
Yeah.
You're paying per minute.
Yeah, they're not cheap.
Yeah, far out.
Now, fun fact, Emily has adopted some sheep.
You've got rescue sheep, not regular sheep, but rescue sheep.
Is that right?
Well, they're technically orphans.
So we have seven at the moment and we, yeah, rescued them as babies.
So we get them when they're like about one to two weeks old from farms
that can't keep them because they don't have the means to raise them.
Yeah, and then we just bottle feed them and they think we're mum.
Oh, so you're a sheep a lot, Ryan.
Yeah. And Madeline! Yeah're a sheep a lot, Ryan. Yeah.
And Madeline.
Yeah.
I should name one, Ryan.
And Madeline.
Yeah.
A French sheep.
What would have happened if, say, like hypothetically 37 years ago,
you got your seven sheep and, like, one of them kind of looked like a human
and would you have just taken them in all good?
I feel like if I had a sheep that looked like a human, I'd be very
concerned. Yeah, that's fair.
What if you had a human that looked like a sheep?
Well, I've got two children,
so far they're looking human-like,
so that's good stuff. Good mum,
can tell the difference. Always important.
I've always found.
Ryan's mum couldn't. She went, I don't want a
sheep. Yeah, stop following me around, you fucking asshole.
Oh, that's my son?
Oh, wow.
Oh, no.
Emily, will you approve today's podcast?
I absolutely will.
Legend.
Can't believe she didn't call you Sean.
Hey, it's Emily from Melbourne, and I approve this podcast. Coming up today.
Yeah, you are.
Today could be a fucking pretty wild ride.
I've got an idea that we're going to do in the second half of the episode,
which could make or break our friendship.
Now, we are best friends, but it could like really solidify us
and take us to the next level because, you know,
you've got to risk it to get biscuit.
But I feel like if it doesn't go well, it's not just going to go
like slightly bad, like it either is going to go well
or it's going to go real bad.
You know what I'm saying?
So are you saying that maybe our first YouTube episode
was the only one because there might not be an episode tomorrow?
That's what I'm saying.
We'll get to that soon, though.
First, let's do normal or nah.
This is normal or nah.
How can I enjoy normal or nah thinking that our best friendship
is on the brink potentially in the next 15 minutes?
Yeah, but it also could be, like I said, take us to the next level.
Oh, okay.
Let's focus on the positives.
All right.
Next level.
This is normal or nah.
The Richter scale is messaged through.
Jeff Richter. Of the Richter is normal or nah. The Richter scales message through. Jeff Richter.
Of the Richter.
Normal or nah.
Now I'm rattled.
I'm rattled.
Yeah, this is what you do.
Normal or.
Oh, fine.
I'm.
Sorry.
Cut it out.
Normal or nah.
Leaving a drink in the fridge without a lid on it.
Jeff says leaving a glass of drink loose in the fridge gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Loose.
Think of the chaos that is happening behind that closed fridge door.
That thing is just spilling around everywhere.
It's enough for me.
I'm actually like at a base level not a fan of leaving a drink in the fridge.
That's like halfway through or whatever.
How come it gets not fizzy and weird.
It's just I just don't like it.
I think it's being loose in the fridge is real strange.
Yeah.
But producer Sophie does this literally every day.
Has a sip of something, puts it back in.
Yeah, she'll get an iced coffee from a place and have half of it
and go, oh, leave that for tomorrow.
As someone who has admitted to making a coffee the night before work,
I actually won't have you taking the high ground on this topic.
I agree.
That is a good point.
But I just don't think you're in a position.
No, that's fair.
Especially on the coffee.
But, okay, question.
You can evolve as a human though, that's fair.
No, thank you.
Yeah.
Question.
That coffee hadn't been started though.
It had been made and then popped in so I could enjoy it tomorrow.
Whereas getting halfway through a drink and then being like so i could enjoy it tomorrow whereas getting halfway
through a drink and then being like i'm too much of a pussy to finish this i'll leave it for tomorrow
i agree they're different but i don't agree that it's worse you know what i'm saying oh
that's interesting especially with an iced coffee that was meant to be an iced coffee yeah i i
actually i've had a sip i'll have a bit later. All good. Nah. Nah, it's not for me.
And when we were living together in London, Sophie was like,
Sophie was like, oh, we've both got half an iced coffee here.
Save that for tomorrow.
And I was like, yeah, great.
Yeah.
And then the next day she's like, did you have your coffee?
And I was like, yeah.
Tony threw it off the balcony.
You lied to me.
Yeah, I did.
I fully lied.
She's like, did you have your coffee?
And I was like, yeah, it was so good.
Thanks for saving it. It is a bit more watery the next day. She's like, did you have your coffee? And I was like, yeah, it was so good. Thanks for saving it.
It is a bit more watery the next day.
It's not good.
Yeah.
If we're being honest about London now,
like remember when we like shared that matcha and we both went,
oh, that was nice, wasn't it?
I didn't like it.
Oh, I liked it.
Did you?
Yeah, it had like agave syrup though, so it was like not as earthy.
Yeah, but so I threw that out four hours after we co-ordered it
and the three sips had been taken.
Oh, I quite liked it.
So you liked your two sips and I had my wine and went, oh, okay.
Then I saw it on the bed.
Well, it turns out you wouldn't have had it later anyway.
No, I wouldn't have had it later, but I liked that matcha.
Matcha do about nothing.
Can I just check, Ryan?
So this isn't the best friend test part.
Oh, yeah.
We're off to a rocky start, actually.
This is a good point, Sophie.
Good clarification.
Hey, Sophie, you shut up.
Go put your fucking coffee in the fridge.
Yeah, I don't know if this is a story for another day,
but Jeff off the Richter scale said,
don't even get me fucking started on food in the fridge
without foil or glad wrap on it.
Oh, no, you can't raw dog food in the fridge.
Yeah.
Sophie does that as well.
Yeah, I used to be against that, but then once I raw dogged it
and realised it didn't make a difference either way,
so now I'm just dogging raws all the time.
So I think that I'm currently coming in with like a lived bias
because while we were in London, Torbs cooked something
and left the, like, you know how you have like a jar of minced garlic in
the fridge?
Sure.
And like left the lid off and our fridge still fucking smells like garlic and it's been like
a couple of weeks.
Oh, so you're like pro jar, pro foil, pro fucking.
Yeah.
Cause at the moment, like that's affecting like, so literally everything smells like
mint iced coffee, sweetheart.
And so everything right now smells like garlic.
Where'd you get mint from?
I think I tried to say minced because it was minced garlic.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah, garlic would have been the better word.
I had to go and buy one of those like bags you put in the fridge
to like suck the smells out and that hasn't worked.
Can I have one of those for my car?
One of those for your arsehole.
While in my car, I was going to be on my seat.
Yeah.
A seat cover that sucks the smell out.
Never shower again.
Yeah, all good.
Laura Miller.
Hardly know her.
Taking a blanket into the movie theatre.
Normal or nah?
Laura says, ever since theatres started having those comfy reclining seats,
I wanted to bring my blanket because for me this would be
the ultimate comfort experience.
My husband has forbidden me from doing this when we go together
because he says it makes me look like a fuckhead.
Planket to the movie theatre, normal or nah?
I really want to say normal.
Do you remember when I did a poll about this on my Instagram story a while ago
because I was like you just want to get – the seats are so comfortable now.
They're setting you up.
But you just really want to get cosied.
So I want to say normal but I don't think I could do it.
When we had our movie marathon though and we had For Legal Reasons Not Oodies,
that was a game changer.
You could get really snuggly in those.
I don't think I've movied without an Oodie since.
Something similar to an Oodie For Legal Reasons.
For Legal Reasons.
Yeah.
But, like, imagine you just, like, slip into the cinema.
It's so cold.
You know, like, the air con's pumping and you just want to get, like, cozy in.
Yeah.
It seems like Laura's husband also doesn't want to get a handjob at the cinema.
Well, and I mean, Izzy, you know, sounds like they're past handjob age.
Yeah, but when someone says blanket, I go, oh, he's getting a wristie.
Getting a wristie.
God, the word wristie, isn't that awesome?
How come a wristie isn't as awesome as the word wristie?
Teens with a blanket at the cinema.
Just jizzing everywhere.
Oh, yeah, that's cum town.
Xander has a normal or nah?
Hi, Xander.
Hardly nah.
My friend chills and relaxes in jeans.
It's a massive nah from me.
This is my best friend, but this is very jarring information,
says Xander.
Once I get home for the day, I have a shower and it's gym shorts
or track pants or pajama pants.
The thought of curling up on the couch
and settling in to watch Netflix in
jeans makes me want to vomit.
So the question for my fellow tapas,
relaxing in jeans, normal or nah?
Nah. No way.
No. And I get home from
work and I put my nightie on straight
away. Yeah. So like I'm bra off, jeans off, like whatever I'm wearing, yeah.
Now Erica Winters who's a tarpa, she sent this through and said,
oh, my God, I think it's Tony because there's a name for people
like yourself who do what you do.
What is it?
And I thought, well, this is great because now Tony,
because you know when you're explaining stuff it's hard
but if there's a name it kind of feels like.
Oh, and you also know you're not alone.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But when you hear the name.
Oh, I'm not interested.
Let me just read.
Not everything needs a name.
Like cars don't need a name.
A person who must put their PJs on the second they arrive home.
Otherwise, they will never be comfy.
It's not pajama file, is it? It is. Oh, I've seen this on the second they arrive home, otherwise they will never be comfy. It's not pyjama file, is it?
It is.
Oh, I've seen this on the internet.
Yeah, they tagged you in it.
And I went, oh, that's nice.
And then I thought, well, anything with the word file in it.
It's not good energy.
Yeah.
I think that the idea of putting your pyjamas on as soon as you get home
and degening I think is sound.
Yeah.
But I don't think that we're going to roll with that title.
It's a working, we can come up with a better name than that, I feel.
Let's do another normal on us, shall we?
Yeah.
Katie Harrison.
I actually, I mean, I'm embarrassed to say this
and I don't think it's aimed at guys.
Wearing older, less flattering underwear
when you're going to be home all day
and saving your new and nicer underwear for days you're leaving the house
despite knowing you're not getting railed and no one's going to see them anyway.
Well, normal, I guess.
But I can't speak to this because I've recently just thrown all
of my uncomfortable underwear out and bought like 10 pairs of undies that fit
and are really comfy and are really good
and like I don't mind wearing.
Wow.
Yeah, because I'm a big girl.
Ladies and gentlemen, we're finding out how the other half live.
Yeah.
What was more empowering, the moment you threw away the old stuff
or the moment the new stuff arrived at the door?
Because I feel like they're two separate moments, both great.
I crossed them over and new stuff came and I went,
you're being replaced.
And then I showed the old underwear what they'd done wrong,
rubbed their face in it.
Here's the new girl I've got.
See you.
Hey, it's Emily from Melbourne and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A massive shout-out to a few of our champion typists over at our Patreon.
Natalia Stanford.
Stanford, sorry.
Good on you, Natalia.
Sarah English.
Oh, hello, Sarah.
Charlene Williams.
Alison. Strawberry Milk. So, obviously, Sarah. Charlene Williams, Alison, Strawberry Milk,
so obviously medicine, and Lilibet.
Do you think that's Lilibet like Meghan and Harry's daughter?
Because they called it Lilibet after Queen Elizabeth,
God rest her soul.
Is all Lilibets, are all Lily's Lilibets or is that like a?
No.
No, okay.
No, because Lily is like a name on its own.
Yeah. And I guess Lilibet is like, that's like a playful name for Elizabeth, isn't it? Oh, okay. I don't know. But it makes sense.
Because that's what it was after Queen Elizabeth, God rest her soul. Yep. I was recently
in England, so I feel a huge connection. Yeah.
We're about to do something with the internet that may bring us
to our knees. So before we do that, in case there's no other episodes,
I just like have some things to tick off because I just don't know what's going to end up.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
First of all, video shows on Friday.
If they exist, they're on YouTube.
On YouTube.
No longer on Spotify.
Now on YouTube.
So you can check that out tomorrow.
And our first one last week was awesome.
Yep.
James, who helped us get ready for the YouTube launch,
who's worked with us all year to get us to this point,
fucking killed it.
Now we're on YouTube and all set up to go.
He's going to work as a strategist for YouTube full time.
He's graduated from Tony and Ryan for Bigger and Better Things.
So he was like, yeah, so the podcast.
Going pretty well.
Yeah, he's like, but only one YouTube video a week.
It's actually two, sorry.
Two YouTube videos a week.
But no, thank you to James for all the work he did getting us ready
for this moment.
So appreciate it. And like I said, he's- People have sent through lots of love to James for all the work he did getting us ready for this moment, so appreciate it.
People have sent through lots of love for James as well,
so he liked that too.
A bit of hate as well, though, when he ordered McDonald's
for that wedding.
So people are on an even playing field with James.
But when people, like, move on from us to better things, are we?
Oh, nah, that's awesome.
Jase used to say that in radio as well.
Yeah, but you know how you're, like, supposed to be proud,
but there's also a bit of, like, oh, better than us.
Okay.
No, not at all. I'm like, oh, better than us. Okay. No, not at all.
I'm like, oh, my God, we helped you get to this next thing.
Yep, and that's what I agree with.
You're a little bitch.
No, I'm just, we're good too.
We are good too.
That's why Sophie's still here.
Yeah.
Yay, Sophie.
It's like some people graduate to bigger and better things
and we also have Sophie.
No, but I'm saying like, yay, but Sophie's still here.
Let's see what else is out there.
Is that what you're saying?
No one else will have you, Sophie.
You put your coffee in the fridge.
Also business next Friday the 13th.
We don't have a business, but just business chat.
No, we only have to say it for the first six or seven months.
Because we didn't have a business.
Yeah, and then we have one.
Now we do.
Yeah, because we legally couldn't.
Not legally.
F***ily couldn't.
F***ily couldn't.
Beep bo, Sophie.
Next Friday the 13th, this is for Champion Tapas.
Spooky 13.
We're doing a live stream for Champion Tapas,
and it's a Friday the 13th murder mystery.
We're going to be solving a crime together.
Do you know about this yet, Soph?
No. You look shocked. I didn't tell Sophie what it was. I just told going to be solving a crime together. Do you know about this yet, Soph? No.
You look shocked.
I didn't tell Sophie what it was.
I just told her to put it in the calendar.
And you've got a week to kill someone.
Yeah, Sophie, we're going to need you to do some prep for this.
Yeah.
Now, I'm just going to type in to the computer what I've got
and I'm going to read it out loud and I'll tell you where we're up to.
Is this for the thing that might make us not be friends?
Is housekeeping out of the way?
Yeah, we're done.
We're done.
Oh, fucking hell.
Hello, ChatGPT.
My name is Ryan and I do a podcast with my best friend, Tony.
That's sweet.
It's called the Tony and Ryan Podcast.
Can you please ask us five questions about our friendship?
To gather intel so you can brutally roast our friendship and podcast
into oblivion. No, I
hate, I saw someone doing this the other day
and it was like, roast my Instagram
feed? Yeah. Oh, I don't like
that. The Tarpers, Tony and Ryan
podcast fans, are eagerly awaiting
the savage sting of your comedic
wit.
But first, please ask away.
Okay, what are the questions?
Should I put that in?
Well, yeah.
So we're answering five of ChatGPT's questions?
Yep.
Okay.
Because it needs to gather its intel.
Yes, of course.
It's probably going to be like. I think the questions are worse than what the roast might be.
Yeah, okay.
Tony.
Yep.
What is one thing Ryan does that you put up with that most others wouldn't?
Ooh, put up with is like a really strong like phrase though, isn't it?
Well, how would you prefer to word it?
No, but put up is like, oh, yeah, well, I've got to put up with that.
I don't really put up with it.
Like there are things that you do that piss me off,
the same way that I do things that piss you off.
There's questions for both of us here, mate.
Yeah.
Gross Master General is gathering intel.
I don't like it when you're late, but you're much better at that now.
Sometimes when you get stubborn and, like,
locked onto something, that annoys me.
Yeah.
That's a good answer, I feel.
Stubborn.
That's quite revealing.
I'm being really cool about it, though.
Sounds like it.
I feel a little bit stressed about this.
Where is this going?
Ryan.
Yeah. That's me. this. Ryan. Yeah.
That's me.
Yeah.
Ryan, yeah.
What's something you've had to compromise to keep Tony happy?
Oh, that's good.
I'm not allowed to be late anymore.
I'm going to put in, and please don't read into this because it's actually worked out perfectly.
We had to strike through a lot of potential offices
and studios because Tony was like, I really want a car park.
Yeah.
And I wasn't fussed by that, but I was like,
if it's important to you, then cool.
But obviously when you put your filters in, it kind of, you know,
it goes from 70 options to less.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a compromise, right?
Yeah.
Like I said, this place is sick, so we're good.
And also, I mean, you weren't going to get 70 studios,
so it's almost like, great, there's now less to choose from in a positive,
like you can look at that positively too.
it's almost like, great, there's now less to choose from in a positive light.
You can look at that positively too.
Tony, who is the funniest host of the Tony and Ryan podcast?
Me.
Do you want some thinking time?
No.
Tony, what?
Do you like having a car park though? I love the cover.
Because if you want to pay for parking on the street, you can.
You're more than welcome to.
Do you mean pay for it at like a parking place or pay for it in fines?
Both.
Ryan, what's something that Tony loves to bring up all the time?
I wonder what people listening, they're like rattling off.
Oh, because they'll have a name.
They'll have an answer.
Okay, I think can we say on three both the same thing?
Okay.
Three, two, one.
Cron's Medallion.
Oh, I was going to say Cutting Mix, Music Free's Wedding.
That is a good one.
I'm going to put in bronze swimming medallion.
Fair. That's a good one.
Living in the countryside.
Yes.
Driving a fancy Audi and being really good
at everything she does.
Okay. That is more than what they asked for.
That's okay.
I think you can take the Audi out
because I don't talk about that all the time.
The other ones I'll cop, but I don't think I talk
about my fancy car all the time.
Tony, what's something Ryan loves to bring up all the time?
Hmm.
You did study, I believe, in the US.
You go to college in the US.
That's come up once or twice.
in the US, you go to college in the US, that's come up once or twice.
I don't think you really harp on about that much stuff,
but there's probably stuff that day-to-day I like kind of.
Because I've said it so many times.
I tune out, but not in a, I don't mean that in a rude way.
I mean like there's things. How was university last night?
Yeah, or like, oh, well, I'm up with Mabel anyway.
Like you do that a bit. Like, oh, well, I'm up with Mabel anyway. Like you do that a bit.
Like, oh, well, I'll be up anyway because of the baby.
Yeah.
Yeah, you've got a baby.
Oh.
Which you do have a baby.
Okay.
Which I love.
And I love Mabel.
She's my little good daughter.
Add that to mine.
All right.
We are going to play.
Ryan just watched Inside Out yesterday.
Oh, actually, something you do a lot is whenever you're reading a book,
you talk about the fact that you're reading a book a lot.
But I do that too.
Yeah.
But that's another thing that you do.
Because I watched Inside Out and I'm reading the book about Pixar.
Yeah.
And you recommended Inside Out and I actually watched something
you recommended.
Yeah.
See, we are friends.
No, we're totally friends.
When the burns come, just remember that. Do you also want to just, can we say. Just not do this? Yeah. See, we are friends. No, we're totally friends. When the burns come, just remember that.
Do you also want to just, can we say.
Just not do this?
Yeah.
No, no, no.
I reckon, imagine if we had tried to do this like a year ago.
No.
Like literally we would have never spoken again.
No, no, no.
It actually does prove that we have come a long way.
It does.
Don't you think?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It does. But you're right, that is worse than a long way. It does. Don't you think? Yeah, it does.
But you're right, that is worse than whatever is going to come back.
So let's just play a little bit of thinking music while ChatGPT does its thing.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
Another thing that I do a lot is if I've watched a documentary, I talk about it heaps because I just feel like I'm better than everyone.
Well, you are though.
Yeah, that's true.
I actually would take that on.
Do you think a part of you being a doctor,
because a lot of people there's this thing like they think they're an expert
in something because they listen to a podcast that had an expert
or something?
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
As a doctor, does that annoy you?
I think the most annoying thing about being a doctor
is that when people say that they're a doctor and they're not that would that really annoys me yeah
all right give me two seconds to actually The answers are in.
Now, this is, I'm going to do the reading,
but this is ChatGPT talking.
Oh, okay.
But are they roasting us as a group?
Did you think you'd misgendered the computer?
No, no, no, no.
But I was like, they, like, personalised the computer.
But, like, is the ChatGPT robot, like, personalised the computer, but, like, is the chat GPT robot?
Yeah.
Is it roasting us as a group or separately?
Oh, we're not sure yet.
Okay.
I've just pumped in the information.
Because I feel like it would be nice for us to, like,
rejoin as a team after we answered the questions separately.
Okay, well, do you want to rejoin now and we can go through this?
As a team?
Yeah, and we'll cop it as a team.
Cop it together.
Yeah.
Oh, Ryan and Tony. Okay, great. Yeah, we'll cop it as a team. Cop it together. Yeah. Oh, Ryan and Tony.
Okay, great.
Oh, it's fucking on.
That's okay.
You're worse than me.
Your name's first.
You two are like the perfect recipe for a sitcom.
A bit of awkwardness, a dash of stubbornness,
and a whole lot of why are they still actually friends?
Will they, won't they?
We're like Ross and Rachel.
It's called the Tony and Ryan podcast, but let's be honest.
Ryan's just there to fill the silence between Tony's actual content.
At this point, he's basically the human equivalent
of those filler ads you skip through on YouTube.
God, people should be worrying about AI taking our jobs.
This is accurate.
My guy, Ryan, you're like a dog with a bone when you get stubborn.
Tony's probably thinking,
is it too late to change the podcast name to Just Tony?
I'm not thinking that, by the way.
Are you thinking that?
No, I'm not thinking that.
I've never thought that before.
Is it true or false in the
office this morning? I said if I died, what would
happen to the podcast? And you'd like had her
answer prepared. But I said
save that. I'd like to talk about it on the show.
Oh, great.
Now, Tony,
let's talk about your non-negotiable
parking spot obsession. Fair.
A personal parking
spot.
You know, most people just need a microphone and a quiet room to record a podcast,
but not our Tony.
She's out here shopping for studios
like she's picking out a new mansion or an Audi.
Well, where am I going to park my Audi, okay?
And speaking of the Audi driving,
countryside living, metal winning Tony, you know, the funniest
person on the podcast, according to her. Tony, we get it.
You're like a Swiss army knife of
overachievers. You've got
a bronze medallion. You're amazing at everything and you've got a fancy car to prove
it. But here's the kicker. If you're amazing at everything and you've got a fancy car to prove it but here's the kicker if you're great at everything why is ryan still getting the last word on those stubborn
debates maybe that parking spot isn't the only thing you've been too attached to
oh mine got really deep and personal yours was just that you weren't funny, which is something you already knew.
This is really deep on mine.
Ryan.
Thank God.
You might want to hold on to that baby talk a little tighter.
It's the only thing that gives you an edge over Tony's
I'm better than you at everything vibe.
Wow, even my burns burns for Tony.
But let's be real.
Talking about your baby plans is probably the only way you can remind
Tony that you're an actual adult and not just her sidekick.
Wow.
Sweetheart, you're a whole person.
Thank you.
Yeah, you're more than just my sidekick, though.
You are that as well.
I'm Anne Ryan.
You got two words.
I'm just Tony.
You're Anne Ryan. She's just Ken. Yes, I am. I'm just Tony You're Anne Ryan
She's just Ken
Yes I am I'm just 10
I'm a 10
Do you know what's really embarrassing though
ChatGPT thinks I won a bronze medallion
I didn't win a medal
I'm not an Olympian
Like I have my bronze
I didn't win a medal
Ryan your over shirt fashion sense is as predictable as your content.
If only your jokes could be as consistent as your plaid shirt rotation.
If they come from my Tyler Swift hat,
I swear to fucking God. I hope the Tarpers have found this
funny. After listening to you two losers losers they need something to laugh at it's we're united against the robot you know i think the robot's jealous of us the robot
is so jealous of us that's what i was about to say
the robot doesn't get to sit across from your pretty face every day no but you do jealous of us. The robot is so jealous of us. That's what I was about to say.
The robot doesn't get to sit across from your pretty face every day. No, but you do.
I'm the luckiest girl in the world. Really?
Yeah, fuck yeah. What do you mean?
Just a chubby little girl from Perth. Now look at me in the big smoke. I've got my own car spot.
In the big smoke of the countryside.
What's your story straight?
Well, I drive my fancy car into the big smoke.
We should buy a Powerball ticket for tonight.
Yeah.
Because I am sitting beside the luckiest girl in the world.
And it's great to be her sidekick.
If I win, I'd give you some.
Would you?
How much?
Well, it depends how much.
We've talked about this before.
It's the ratio.
Yeah, it's the ratio.
What kind of ratio?
Say if I won $50 million.
No, but like, do you know what I mean?
Because when you think about winning a lotto,
it's like some exorbitant amount.
If I won like $50 million, I'd give you like two mil.
You need that 47th and 48th
mil for yourself still?
Forgot how to do maths for a second, did you?
No.
47, I mean 48. No, just like those
last couple of million, you need those? Yes.
Okay. But it's not like I would spend all that
on me. You'd spend it on Pippa?
Well, yeah.
I'd spend like on my family.
Private jet?
For Pippa?
For Pippa.
For Pippa-sized?
So she could come overseas with us.
But it's just a little sidecar for the plane that we're on.
What do you love to see, Tony Lodge?
So we mentioned our Patreon before and every month we do live streams
in there and I jump on often and do like a little craft live stream or like just a little
chatty chat and I'll have a DC and I'll chat to everybody in the in the comments it's really fun
I did one the other day and someone in the comments said that they were about to go on a
first date with someone really exciting so Holly I'm not gonna um dox Holly's last name or say
where she is but that she was going on a first date
and I said, go on the date but come back and update us in the comments
so that I know how you went.
And we got an update?
She ended up commenting on the post and said, the date update,
or the yada yada, very good, went very well.
Chatted for hours, no first kiss just yet but got along great.
Second date planned this weekend,
and I can smell his aftershave still from the goodbye hug.
Isn't that sexy?
Do you reckon aftershave is like slightly too much,
is like the most off-putting thing ever?
Is aftershave different to like, is aftershave just?
Like cologne, sort of, I guess.
So is that different to?
I think it's like a colloquial term now, but back in the day it would have been.
Because when you do like a close shave, like the alcohol kind of helps with the.
Isn't it like it seals it up so it doesn't bleed?
Kind of, yeah.
Yeah, okay.
So when you smell a person, like, oh, I guess if it was a woman,
you would refer to it as perfume.
Perfume, yeah.
But the aftershave, that's just like how someone smells, right?
It's not a different smell that I'm like missing out on?
No, it'd be like a cologne aftershave.
One and the same.
Yeah, gotcha.
Okay, because I didn't know if it was the same thing.
But yeah, an overpowering scent on anybody or even like when you can smell,
like we used a washing detergent once that was like really smelly.
Like fruity, flowery.
It's all I could smell all day and I was like,
we need to rewash all that shit and throw that out.
Like it's all I could smell all day.
It smelled like a toilet.
Yeah.
Yeah, like an air freshener.
Anyway, Holly says, thanks for the support, Tarp family.
Of course, anytime.
We were all gassing her up in the chat.
But yeah, it's so cool.
This, depending where you are, Saturday night or Sunday,
our next reaction video on YouTube is dating fails.
And so not related to Holly at all.
She won't be there because it was not a failure.
Katie, who's a tarp up.
Hi, Katie.
Two years ago, I was supposed to go on a three-year anniversary trip
with my partner.
Hang on.
What?
Two years ago?
Yep.
So five years anniversary.
No.
I see.
Two years ago, it was their three-year anniversary.
Yeah.
It would have been my first ever vacation,
first time leaving the state in my whole life.
Oh, wow.
How exciting.
I was dumped the night before.
Oh, wow.
How exciting.
I was dumped the night before.
Probably non-refundable at that point too.
The guy on the trip.
Both.
Both.
That was two years ago.
Now I'm in a loving relationship with someone who's incredible and we're going away this weekend.
That is so sexy.
Yeah, but I mean just fucking just.
I would have waited until I got there.
To celebrate.
You know, because of last time.
Don't bring up any.
So guns and politics, what's your vibe?
Yeah.
How soon do you want kids?
Oh, wow.
Okay.
It'll be my first time seeing the beach and the ocean.
Oh, that is so sick.
You're going to fucking love it.
You absolutely love to see this, says Katie, and I agree.
I'm really happy for you.
I just.
No, you'll get there.
Katie, message us on Monday.
And let us know that you got there safe.
You got home safe.
Let us know how you loved the ocean.
Show me further of the ocean.
Because we are wet for life babies over here.
Yep.
And we would love to see your ocean that you're seeing for the very first time.
Yeah.
I can't imagine the feeling of seeing the ocean for the first time now.
It's like movie shit, isn't it?
Yeah.
Magical.
And because Australia, like a coastal country,
like everything that happens is on the coast,
so I can't imagine not just knowing it.
Yeah.
Wow.
Like you don't just see it one day.
It's just always there.
Always there.
Yeah.
Well, that's awesome.
Wow, really too good.
You'll have to see it.
Too good to pump up.
Romance is in the fucking air.
It actually is.
That's amazing.
Are we going to kiss?
I fucking hope so.
Thank.
Will they or won't they?
They will.
Yeah, will they or won't they?
They already have.
All right, tomorrow on YouTube or whatever you're listening to this podcast on,
the app will be there as well.
Is there a cleaner way of saying that?
Probably.
Love you.
Love you so much.
Love you, bye.