Toni and Ryan - The ultimate sacrifice

Episode Date: May 31, 2022

Normal or Nah, and the ultimate sacrifice that Toni needs help on. Love you!!! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan o...n Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello? Ashley, is it true that you listen to the Tony and Ryan podcast while breastfeeding? I used to, but I don't breastfeed anymore. Okay. Do you still listen to the podcast? Yeah, are you still on the podcast? Yes, I do, yes.
Starting point is 00:00:19 Oh, yeah, would you like to approve this episode? I do, yes. Yay! Thanks, Ash. Hi, this is Ashley from Penrith, New South Wales, and I approve this episode? I do, yes. Yay! Thanks, Ash! Hi, this is Ashley from Penrith, NSW, and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Hello, happy hump day. Happy hump day. Pinching a punch for the first day of the month. Ah, beautiful.
Starting point is 00:00:48 Is that a thing still? I don't know. I tell you a dumb radio, you know how radio, commercial radio, likes to do like dumb stunts? No. Just kidding. I thought it'd be funny to do like the world's largest pinch and punch for the first day of the month. And I don't really know what that is. Like lots of people doing it at the same time
Starting point is 00:01:07 or physically the biggest one? Like a massive pinch, maybe like two big machines that come in and like pinch someone and then like a mechanical like punch in the face. Like with a comically large, huge mitt. What? Surprisingly, no one went for it. Didn't take off. Pitched it every month for five years.
Starting point is 00:01:24 Right. Never got the green light. Maybe next month. We'll talk about it. Sure. Maybe it's a July thing. Yeah, it's went for it. Didn't take off. Pitched it every month for five years. Right. Never got the green light. Maybe next month. We'll talk about it. Sure. Maybe it's a July thing. Yeah, it's a July thing. Yeah, it's not really for June, I feel.
Starting point is 00:01:32 No. And I feel like in July it'll be more of an August. Is that the vibe I'm getting? Yep. Great. But maybe when it comes around to November, let's see how December's feeling. Sure.
Starting point is 00:01:41 Yeah. Hey, coming up in this episode, we're going to find out just how good of a friend you are and if you're maybe willing to sacrifice something for your friend because that's the kind of giving, loving, supportive friend you are. Yeah, and I need your advice and anybody listening. Are you a good friend, Tony Lodge? We'll see.
Starting point is 00:02:00 More after the break. More coming up soon. First of all, Normal or Nah. Tony, can you explain this segment? We take a topic, decide whether... Oh, yeah, yeah, okay. Oh, fucking hell. Normal or Nah.
Starting point is 00:02:19 This is from Rhiannon. Hi, Rhiannon. Single... Rhiannon. Hi, Rhiannon. Single. Rhiannon. That's fair. That's fair, actually. I've just realised the equivalent of you playing music is me singing. From Rhiannon.
Starting point is 00:02:37 Normal or nah? Single toilet households. Especially when the toilet is in the bathroom. Yes. Yep, I've been there. And it's an Australian thing that sometimes the toilet is in a separate little room. But, like, in the US, it's usually always in the bathroom. In the actual, like, there's a sink, a shower, and a bath, and a toilet.
Starting point is 00:02:56 Yeah. This is what Rhiannon says. This is, my family is completely fucked. Single bathroom households. As a whole family. A whole family. Fuck, yep. Your family member is in the shower and you're about to piss your pants.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Do you pee whilst in the shower and you're just like, oh, don't look around? Or do you piss in the garden, says Rhiannon? I am going to say, so is the question, is it normal to have a single toilet household? Or normal to be okay with it? I think you've got to go normal because you can't not go to the toilet. If you're busting.
Starting point is 00:03:32 What? So you remember my old house? Yep, which was a single bathroom and the toilet was in the shower area. So like the toilet was like parallel to the shower. So the shower was there. The toilet was right next to it. So you weren't like parallel to the shower. So the shower was there. The toilet was right next to it. So you weren't like looking at each other, but it was right there. There's no hiding.
Starting point is 00:03:50 And it wasn't like a shower curtain. It was just glass. So you could see everything. And it was just Torbs and I living there, but we only had one toilet. And one night we, so we make dumplings like all the time. It's like one of our favourite things to do on a Sunday. We'll like put some music on and we'll sit down and we'll like make all the mixture and then we'll wrap them all together.
Starting point is 00:04:13 It's like so lovely. This is cute. And then we'll eat like. It's a shame how cute this story is considering where it's going. Where it's going. Yeah. And we'll literally like gorge ourselves, like eat 70,000 dumplings. Treat yourself.
Starting point is 00:04:23 And then. I like that. That's cute. Make them together. That's really nice. It's actually really lovely because we just sit on the couch and do it. It's really fun. And as everyone knows, I don't normally do the food shopping in our house.
Starting point is 00:04:35 It's not your area. You bring the comedy, he brings the survival needs. And this time, for whatever reason, I had done the shopping and I was like, we'll do dumplings. How lovely. It's such a fun activity. And instead of just buying like normal chilli, like green or red chilli or whatever, I bought habaneros
Starting point is 00:04:52 without realising. Which is on the Scoville sale is fucking up there, 10,000. Yeah. And we ate a fucking thousand dumplings all filled with this habanero chilli jam that Torb's made, and then obviously it was a bit of an emergency at our house. For one or both of you?
Starting point is 00:05:12 Both. So how did you? So I was in the bathroom going, oh, I don't feel well, Torb. I'm totally fine. Then all of a sudden, a couple of minutes later, he goes, oh, not good. And you were already in there? I was in the toilet and we're like, what are we going to fucking do here? And so I said, I'll take one for the team.
Starting point is 00:05:33 And I went to the shower. No! No! I squatted in the shower and Torbs was on the toilet. Not the old waffle stomp. And we were at eye level because I was squatting on the ground and he was sitting on the toilet. Why were you looking at each other?
Starting point is 00:05:53 And I was like, don't fucking look at me. Don't look at him. Yeah. You were screaming at him saying don't look at me as you were looking him in the eye. Yeah, it was just so confronting and, yeah, and I was shitting in the shower and he was shitting on the toilet and it was an emergency. Obviously.
Starting point is 00:06:09 Like it was Code Brown. Sorry. Yeah, so normal, yes, you can be in this situation. It is not good and that's why now we have two bathrooms because we're like we can't let that, we're not going to give up the dumplings. So we've got to get a bigger house. As you heard earlier, coming up is what have you sacrificed for a partner or a friend?
Starting point is 00:06:32 And in Tony and Torb's relationship, dumplings will not be on the sacrificing list. So I've been in that situation. But that's with Torb's. Like I've seen things go in and out of his body that like, you know, nothing is sacred. What, your arm? Nice.
Starting point is 00:06:50 But like your mum or dad or your sister, like I wouldn't dream of it. Like if my sister was in the shower, I would like, oh, we're older now, so I'd probably go like I'm desperate for a way I'm just going to jump in. But like when I was younger, there's no, and she wouldn't have let me in there either because she would have thought I was like taking, yeah. Have you, you guys have got one toilet? We've got one toilet. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:13 Bridget doesn't poo, so it's basically just my room. God, wait till you fucking grow up and you figure out that that is potentially not true. I have accused her of potentially pooing and she is venomously denied my accusations. Venomously? What's the word I'm looking for? Vemently. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:32 Remember when I said vehemently and everyone laughed at me? Now they're laughing at me. Yeah, because you just said venomously. But anyway, not a good situation to be in. On a New Year's Day, I was at Liam and Phil's house. Yeah, your best mates. Yeah, because we had a big night the night before we all crashed there. Classic.
Starting point is 00:07:48 And Marty got up in the morning and needed to have a shower because we'd all been dancing and sweating. Oh, yeah. So she's in the shower and, like, Marty's a friend of mine, but we're not, like, close enough for me to just wander in while she's in the shower. No. Right?
Starting point is 00:08:03 I mean, I think it's a special type of friend. Yeah, and we're not like close enough for me to just wander in watches in the shower. No. Right? I mean, I think it's a special type of friend too. And we're just friends and that's a boundary we have set up. Yeah. Yeah. So, but I've woken up having had 74 beers and gone. I am desperate. It's happening and I can't go in there. So, and they live on Sydney Road.
Starting point is 00:08:29 Oh. So I ran. So a big main road lots of cafes lots of restaurants yeah so i went into a cafe and i was like oh hi i'm gonna just get a soy cappuccino where's the toilet and they're like oh sorry we don't have a bathroom okay see you later bye then i ran over to this asian grocer and i was like do you have a bathroom and they're like no and i'm like you clearly do this is a workplace don't worry about it. I'll go to the bakery. And like basically like pub crawled down Sydney Road on New Year's Day until I found a place that was open. So I eventually get back to the house and Bridget and Liam and Phil and Marty, I'd been gone for like half an hour because I was sprinting
Starting point is 00:08:57 door to door because I just panicked and had to get out of the house. Yeah. Like what happened? They were probably hoping you were going to bring back croissants or something. There was a suggestion of, well, you've been gone a while, what have you turned with? Where's the food?
Starting point is 00:09:08 And I was like, no, I did go to the bakery. I went to several. Yeah, but instead of picking up some buns, I dropped some off. Oh, Ryan. Next question. Normal or nah? This is from Antonio Gonzalez. Thank you, Antonio Gonzalez.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Normal or nah? Sharing a bed with your best friend. Now, I feel like when you're teenagers having a sleepover or you crash in the night with your sister or your cousin's place, whatever, whatever, but when you're an adult, is there a bit of a line there somewhere that says, oh, we don't share beds anymore? Let me read what Antonio says, what I think. I have a best friend.
Starting point is 00:09:46 She's 22 years old, female. I'm a gay 24-year-old man and we went travelling and it was just so much cheaper. Totally, yeah. Just to get a bedroom. One double room, yeah. However, she is married now and her husband is insistent that it would be inappropriate for us to share a bed
Starting point is 00:10:03 because she is a woman and I am a man. Nah. Oh, like normal to sharing, nah to that fucking situation. Yeah, absolutely. I like if I was spending the night with any of my myriad of male gay friends, I don't like Torbs wouldn't mind if we slept mind if we slept in the same bed or crashed in the same room or whatever, but also like we are really honest with each other. We have really good communication.
Starting point is 00:10:34 I think that he would be like, of course, nothing's going to happen. Yeah. And also they're gay. Like they're not interested. They're not having a crack at that. There is a fundamental like. What if they're not gay?
Starting point is 00:10:45 What if it's just a guy and a girl? For example, when my circle of friends, because they were. Hang on, hang on. Are you normal or nah? I'm like, yeah, sleep next to whoever. You just need a place to crash. Yeah. There's a, like, if you're going to do it,
Starting point is 00:11:00 like sleeping in the bed is immaterial. Like it's just a place to, it's purely like that's a place to sleep. Yeah. If they were going to hook up and cheat on you, then that's like a separate issue. Yeah. You don't need a bed to fuck someone. You just don't.
Starting point is 00:11:13 You just don't. Yeah. So a lot of my friends, we didn't live near each other. Like people we played volleyball with were from a few towns over. So it would be pretty normal during high school that, oh, there's a party in Eltham. All right, everyone from out of town, there's a party in Eltham. All right, everyone from out of town, all come back and crash at my place.
Starting point is 00:11:30 It wouldn't be unusual to have three people in my bed, two on the floor and three in the lounge room a couple of times a year and then I'd crash at theirs at the next party. Totally. And so when you just grow up like that, it really just becomes a place to sleep. So anyway, about four or five years ago. Yeah. When I've been with Bridget for a while. Yeah. And my best friend Dave has been with his partner Kimmy for a while. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:50 They've got two kids together, you know. Dave Parsons. Dave Parsons, yeah. Dave Warnock, he doesn't have kids. Yeah. I come to Melbourne. I was living out of town. I come to Melbourne for a weekend.
Starting point is 00:12:02 Dave said, oh, come crash at ours. And then I get to Dave's and Kimmy's like, oh, Dave went surfing for the weekend. I was like, oh, fucking typical Dave. Yeah. She's like, anyway, come on in. And she was like, oh, I can like fold out the couch and whatever, but do you want to just fucking sleep in my room?
Starting point is 00:12:17 Like I can't be fucking putting the couch out. And we both had a few beers and I was like, yeah, of course, whatever. And so me and Kimmy slept in the same bed. And you've known her for a long time. Known her for a long time. I get back to Canberra where I was living and I was like, yeah, of course, whatever. And so me and Kimmy slept in the same bed. And you've known her for a long time. Known her for a long time. I get back to Canberra where I was living and I was like, yeah, you know, Dave was out of town so I just slept with Kim. And the whole workplace lost it.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Yeah. You're a man sleeping in a bed with a woman. That's your best friend's partner. Yeah. You know, all this kind of stuff. And I was like, oh, we both like. It was all good. Like.
Starting point is 00:12:43 Didn't even think twice about what you're implying. And then they're like, have you told Bridget? And I was like, no, I haven't told her. Cause it just, it doesn't seem like a big, how did Bridget respond when you told her? So this was the thing, like the fact you haven't told her maybe like, oh my God. Yeah. So then I, I was like, well, now that you say it like that, that is kind of strange. Maybe I should tell her. So we called her. Of course. Hashtag commercial radio. Yeah. And I was like, oh, so when I was in Melbourne, Dave was away,
Starting point is 00:13:09 so I just slept in the bed with Kimmy. Bridget's like, yeah. I mean, imagine folding out the couch. And I was like, yeah. Imagine the admin of that. Imagine too much admin. And that was the end of the conversation. The weird thing is, is that I was listening to that going, oh,
Starting point is 00:13:24 that's weird. But, like, your version of Dave and Kimmy is our best friends, Jag and Lane in New Zealand. If I slept with Jag, like Torb's like would not give a fuck. If he slept with Lane, I mean, she does look like lively. She's hot. She's hot as fuck. So maybe it would be a bit different.
Starting point is 00:13:40 Actually, though, take yourself there. No, I don't think. Torb's like I'm off to New Zealand for the weekend. Jag's out of town. I don't think it would bother me at all. Lane's just like slipping into something more comfortable. So Antonio Gonzalez, your normal, her boyfriend or her husband. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:54 He needs to look himself in the mirror. He sounds insecure. Yeah, they just need to trust each other. Chat about it. Yeah. We could facilitate that conversation if they need. Could we? No, we are not qualified. Normal or nah? Yeah. Loving pavlova.
Starting point is 00:14:09 Normal. Fucking normal. Thank you. Fucking egg whites, cream, fruit. Fuck me up. It is delicious. A bit of fucking passion fruit curd over the top. Fucking do me ink.
Starting point is 00:14:22 I didn't say it. I stopped myself. Beep it out. No, I didn't say anything. I stopped myself. Beep it out. No, I didn't say anything. I'm glad you edited it out. There's no beep. There's no beep because I didn't say anything. Did you see the moment I went, Franco, we're going to need that video.
Starting point is 00:14:35 We're going to need to see that footage of me going. Self-editing in real time. I'm filtering myself after the fact. Do me in and nothing else. I love Pavlova. I also love Pavlova. Torbs hates it. I fucking love it.
Starting point is 00:14:53 So we never have it in the house. Oh, come over for a Pav. Yeah, we've got to do it. The only thing Bridget loves more than, I was going to say more than me, she loves a lot of things more than me. The only thing Bridget loves more than our dog BJ. That's more accurate. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:15:05 Is Pavlova. Oh, it's so good. She froths a Pavlova because it's from New Zealand and don't get Bridget started because she'll tell you about Anna Pavlova, the ballerina, who it's like made for and blah, blah, blah. You never shut her up. You never shut her up.
Starting point is 00:15:18 BuzzFeed are running this article. Yeah. Pavlovas are not nice and New Zealand can keep them. No, I don't like that. No. I like a pav. There is nothing on Christmas, like when it's really hot, making a pav because it's cold, it's silky.
Starting point is 00:15:36 It's soothing. Fresh. Tastes like childhood. It does. And if BuzzFeed reckon that Pavlova can go back to New Zealand, then BuzzFeed can go back to 2008 when I give a fuck what they think. Yeah. Fucking let me
Starting point is 00:15:52 know what pedestrians say. Thank you. Yeah. Tell it to Junkie. Where's Batuta? BuzzFeed? Yeah, BuzzFeed. Remember BuzzFeed? MuzzFeed. Pavlova. Normal. Hi, this is Ashley from Penrith, New South Wales, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A big thank you to a few of our champion tappers,
Starting point is 00:16:25 Claire Garner, Marisa Breitenbach, Ebony French, Natalie O'Connor, Jessica Carlisi, Tainy Calder and Lauren Clark. Thank you so much for being here, buying our exclusive content. A fucking Frank Green water bottle is on the way to you, my bebes. And a personalised video will be in your inbox between... In the next six to 12 years. Between today and 2024. Yep.
Starting point is 00:16:46 Between now and the Paris Olympics, you will receive a personalised video. That actually might not give us enough time. I reckon gold would be higher than that. Yeah. Over, under promise, over deliver. Yeah, the Olympics after that, which has not yet been locked in. Anyway, I have a bit of a conundrum that I need a bit of help on. So for you, Ryan...
Starting point is 00:17:04 Fine, I'll sleep in your bed. For you, Ryan, and anybody listening, I want to start this by asking you a question. Who is my favourite artist, like my favourite singer? Lady Gaga. Oh, my God, that's such a great answer. Is it not right? But no, that's not who I'm talking about.
Starting point is 00:17:27 Okay, favourite singer. Not Adele. No. No, no, no. Favourite singer. Not Avril Lavigne, Paramore. Why are you pointing up to the sky? Are they dead?
Starting point is 00:17:39 Lord. Oh, fuck Lord. Yeah, of course. Sorry. Yeah, Lord. No, you're right. I think you threw me because we've been talking about Lady Gaga recently. Yeah, we did talk about Lady Gaga the other day.
Starting point is 00:17:47 To be fair, your favourite people, Alison Roman, who does the cooking shows, and second of all, Lord. Lord. Yeah, they're your two. Lord and Alison Roman. They're your two. Great. They're my queens.
Starting point is 00:17:58 They're your queens. They're your queens. When people talk about the patriarchy, no, matriarchy. Wait. Every time someone mentions Lord, you just get flat. I do. Yeah, I do. You're gushing. No, matriarchy. Wait. Every time someone mentions Lorde, you just get flat. I do. Yeah, I do. You're gushing. Well, guess what? Bring her in. No, fuck off. She's not here. She's not here. Anyway. So I love Lorde. Yeah. Every time she has come to Australia, I have missed out on seeing her. So one time she came and her concert in Perth was the day
Starting point is 00:18:28 after I moved to Sydney but the Sydney concert had already happened. So, like, I missed both of them. And then when I was, she came again and it was in Melbourne and something was on or something. Anyway, I vowed that the next time she comes to Australia, I'm fucking seeing her. It doesn't matter. You've missed out too many times.
Starting point is 00:18:48 Come fucking hell or high water, I'm seeing Lorde. Yep. I, probably two years ago, she announced this new tour and I set 16 alarms on my phone. Tickets are on sale at 9 o'clock. I'm there at 8.59, refreshing, fucking ready to roll. And I am a Telstra customer. Oh.
Starting point is 00:19:09 But I've been with Telstra for like 100 years and they had like a pre-sale. So I woke up early. I like jumped on the computer. I'm sitting there refreshing and I bought tickets for her to come to Melbourne. Yep. They're really good tickets as well. Good seats. So it's at the Sydney Meyer Music Bowl.
Starting point is 00:19:27 And you know how they've got all of the seats along the bottom? Then they've got the balconies. Yeah. I've got a balcony. What the fuck? Yeah. I bought. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:35 Yeah. I spent money because I was like I'm fucking going and I'm going to have a great fucking time. I bought two tickets because I was like whether Torbs comes or somebody else, it doesn't fucking matter. I will be on that balcony watching Lorde screaming and singing my head off. And is it fair to say you'll probably cry?
Starting point is 00:19:53 Oh, definitely. I love Lorde. Like I fucking love her. So I bought these tickets and then COVID lockdowns came again. It was supposed to be in March. So it was supposed to be two months ago. It all got pushed back. It all got pushed back because no one could travel and they didn't want to kind of half
Starting point is 00:20:11 do it and whatever. So they push it back till next March. And so it is on the 11th of March, Saturday night. I've got these great fucking tickets. Here comes the conundrum. Our video guy, Franco, I've worked with Franco for six years. We are really good friends. Yep.
Starting point is 00:20:35 I know his partner, Jess, very well. Oh, no. And they recently got engaged. Is he getting married at the Sydney Mayan Music Bowl? No, because it was booked out. Lord got in first. Yeah. And he lives in Wollongong.
Starting point is 00:20:54 He's marrying Monique De Rocha. Wollongong is what, a 12-hour drive from Melbourne, a flight to Sydney and a drive. A flight to Sydney and a couple-hour drive. It's a weekend. You can't pop up. It's a weekend. It's a holiday weekend. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:08 I got the wedding, the save the date in the mail. Can you let Franco know my address? Because I haven't got mine. Must have gotten lost, mate. Must have gotten lost. Well, you can have mine if you want. I open it up. Yep.
Starting point is 00:21:23 It's the 11th of March. Yeah. And I go, fuck yeah, that's in a year. I'm going to put that in my calendar right now so that I don't book anything that same weekend. I scroll through. You know on the Apple calendar how like when something's booked on that day it's got a little dot?
Starting point is 00:21:35 Yeah. I opened it up. I was like, what the fuck? Why is there a fucking random dot in 2023? Lord tickets, same night. Saturday night? Saturday night. How many shows is Lord doing?
Starting point is 00:21:44 Two. Yep. Sold out, both Lord doing? Two. Yep. Sold out. Both sold out. Both sold out. And no way in fuck would I be able to get tickets as good as what I have for the Saturday on the Friday. You're on the balcony.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Like there's just not, if anybody has those tickets, like they're not going to sell them or change them. Because they're hyper fans like you. They're not going to just, like if someone messaged you and goes, hey, mate, can I borrow those tickets? You're like, fuck no. No way. Because they've also fans like you. They're not going to just, like if someone messaged you and goes, hey, mate, can I borrow those tickets? You're like, fuck no. No way. Because they've also spent $400 on the fucking tickets.
Starting point is 00:22:09 $200. This is $200 each. You could buy rolling luggage for that. Well, I bought both. Treason. So to be fair with the Wollongong wedding, that's not even a date. You'd have to go up Friday. Totally.
Starting point is 00:22:21 Yeah, like it's a full weekend. Like even if I got the tickets for the Friday, it would be cut and it fucking fine. So. I would like leave the concert and then drive to Wollongong like that minute. So hang on a second. You're going to be in Melbourne.
Starting point is 00:22:38 Franco without Lorde is going to be in Wollongong. You've worked with Franco for six years. But I've loved Lorde is going to be in Wollongong. You've worked with Franco for six years. But I've loved Lorde. For five and a half. Or like nine. Since she became a thing. When fucking Pure Heroine came out, I. The album not.
Starting point is 00:23:01 The album. I was lined up outside JV Hi-Fi to buy that album. Don't say lined up after that joke we just made. And like royals changed my life. So you've loved her forever. Franco is a very good friend.
Starting point is 00:23:18 A great colleague and arguably an important piece of the success that is Tony Lodge. Without Franco there's probably this podcast wouldn't be what it is. Yeah. Because he helps with the videos every week. Yeah. So obviously, Tony Lodge made the difficult but clear decision
Starting point is 00:23:34 and decided that... I'm going to go to the wedding. So if anyone wants two really good tickets to the Lord. Don't offer them. I'll take them. Oh, a minute ago you wanted to go to the fucking wedding. No, I'm fucking off him now. No, I'm going to the Lord. Well, you can have them because I can't go.
Starting point is 00:23:59 You're going to go to the wedding. Of course I am. What do you mean of course? I honestly thought you were about to go, and obviously it was a hard decision, but Franco will understand. Franco is going to get married once. Lorde will come again. Says him now. I mean, everyone says that before their first wedding. Except for the next time
Starting point is 00:24:13 he gets married, which will be to me. Franco's going to get married once. And when he's on his second time, and then his second wedding to some other floozy he'll meet in the future, that'll be the same day that Lady Gaga's like, oh, Tony, can I come around for dinner? And you're like, I fucking got Franco's second wedding. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:24:28 I'll kill him. Yeah. Franco's going to get married once. Lorde's going to come again. I think I have to go to the wedding. Not have to. I think that, like, morally I want to be there, and I'm honoured that he's invited me. We've been friends for a long time.
Starting point is 00:24:47 Yeah, it's really hard. As soon as I saw it, I was like, you are joking me. Like, you are fucking kidding. They are on the same day. Could you ask him to reschedule? No. I think that there is only one answer. Do you agree?
Starting point is 00:25:01 Here's the test. I mean, all jokes aside, I mean, I'm proud of you for making that decision, which probably would suck, but it probably is the right thing. Yeah. Here's the test, I reckon. Uh-huh. Let's imagine us five years from now. Yep.
Starting point is 00:25:14 Which decision would you regret in five years' time? I'd regret not going to the wedding. Yeah. 100%. And that's how you know. Yeah. You look back and go, oh, remember when we went to Lorde? Oh, that was a fun night.
Starting point is 00:25:24 Oh, yeah. How good were the tickets? But like our mates were getting married somewhere else. Or you'd be like, you go and meet their kids in the future. Yeah. And you go to their house and you go, oh, remember when they got married? And you go, oh, I went to a concert. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:34 And you'd like five years later, you'd go, oh, fuck, I probably should have gone to the wedding. Totally. Yeah. I think, yeah, there's really only one answer, but it was not easy. So two Lord Lord tickets gone. I don't want you to take the tickets though. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:25:49 That was about to be why you love to see it. Things you love to see? Lord on March 11. I'll be the one in the balcony not paying attention. But that's the thing. I don't want to think about you there because that would break my heart. Knowing that you're enjoying it. Heaven forbid someone else have fun.
Starting point is 00:26:08 Knowing that you're enjoying it while I'm. No, I'm not gatekeeping. It sounds like you're gatekeeping. I actually, and I'm not just saying this now, not as much as you either, but I also like Lorde. Yeah. I'm a fan of Lorde. Bridget loves Lorde because, you know, Kiwis, heaven forbid,
Starting point is 00:26:22 fucking they say anything bad about each other and they're fish and chips. Fuck, they're so patriotic New Zealand people. Yeah, they are. And rightfully so. It's a great country. Yeah. She would love to go. And she just texted me and said, I'm so excited.
Starting point is 00:26:34 I'm so glad that Franco fucking hates us and hasn't invited us to his wedding because we'll be at Lorde. Well, I wish he hated me. So are you just going to give them away then? I'd love for you guys to go and enjoy the concert. Are you just saying that? No, I'd love for you to go. I will send you the tickets right now.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Are you kidding me? No. On the balcony? They're really good. They're like, I woke up early and used pre-sale powers to get these fucking tickets. We get it. You're a Telstra customer.
Starting point is 00:27:03 Like, yeah. At the Perks. My love to see it is Tel. We get it. You're a Telstra customer. Like, yeah. The perks. My love to see it is Telstra's amazing server. My love to see it is 10% off when you use Tony's code for Telstra. Telstra Tony 10. No, absolutely not. Yeah, you can have, if you would like to go. I'll think about it and I'll let you know tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:27:23 I have an idea. But if you end up doing that Ryan, John, Dunn thing. I'm not going to cancel on them and not use them. I will be so fucking heartbroken if you take them and then you don't go. What if you just gave them to a tarpa? Well, I thought about that, but there would be no way to make it fair. Yeah. These tickets are fucking fantastic.
Starting point is 00:27:42 Okay, I'll take them. Fine. But you can't cancel at the last minute. I wouldn't cancel on Lorde. You cancel on me all the time. You know why I'm not going? You cancelled on Franco! You cancelled on Franco!
Starting point is 00:27:53 No wonder I'm not invited to the ball. Hasn't that worked out well for me? I wish I fucking cancelled. I cancelled and now I'll have to go and see Lorde from the balcony. Hey, things you'll love to see. You might have seen this Sinead Gede or Gude in the Facebook group. Sorry about that, Sinead. I've fucking butchered your name.
Starting point is 00:28:08 He's just so excited about finding out he's going to Lorde and he's got great tickets on the balcony at the Sydney Myer Music Bowl on March 11th. Sinead got a speeding ticket. Oh, shame. Shame. And you don't love to see this. And this is a controversial.
Starting point is 00:28:20 You'll love to see it because I don't want to say breaking the law is good. It's not. That's not what I'm saying. I've never had a speeding fine. That doesn't surprise me. You're more of a road rager than a speedier. Fuck off. Matt, I've seen you shake those fists at people. Up your bum.
Starting point is 00:28:33 Do you know the one thing I'm talking about here? Yep. So Sinead, they take a photo to prove your driving. Yeah, so that you can't hand your points off to other people. Now Sinead says, whenever I'm in the car, I'm listening to Tony and Ryan and look at this photo of me in the speeding ticket. I'm pissing myself laughing, looking like a mad dog, and she is generally laughing her head off in the photo.
Starting point is 00:28:56 Her mouth is, like, wide open. Yeah. And I was like, hey, don't speed, but also I love to see this, that's hilarious. And then all the comments below are like, this is iconic. Look at you, queen, with your sunglasses on, driving like a boss. Everyone's just getting around Sinead, just like pumping her up.
Starting point is 00:29:11 Well, I'm glad that she's been able to overcome the trauma from getting a speeding fine. And I loved every comment about that except one. So I was like, oh, this is so great. You know how sometimes Tony and Ryan send flowers to people who have been in a car crash their life? They'll probably pay for your speeding ticket.
Starting point is 00:29:27 That's proceeds from crime. Yeah, we will not be doing that fucking Chappelle Corby okay? Thank you. And I'm pretty sure it was Jared McQuake. Oh, he fucking would as well. You can pay for it, Jared. That's what I heard. I heard Jared McQuake was going to pay for it. Jared will be sending the money through soon, so
Starting point is 00:29:43 Sinead, let him know how much Jared owes you. Yep, Jared will be passing that on to you, Sinead. Love to see that. And Jared, unless you're a part of Tony's finance team, you will not be telling us where and where we will not be spending our money. Yeah, thank you so much, because we're spending it on Lord tickets
Starting point is 00:29:56 and going to Wollongong. My love to see it for today is a message from Brianna in our Patreon. So glad to hear about Tony and hitting this massive milestone in her life of quitting her job to do the podcast full time, which is so fucking exciting. We're all very excited. Five episodes a week coming in July at some point.
Starting point is 00:30:17 We're figuring it out. Figuring out the details at the moment. I do have to ask, does this mean she will now apply for a casual job at JB Hi-Fi? Well, do you want me to... I've got a surprise for you lined up. Oh, my God, don't tell me. That's all I'll say.
Starting point is 00:30:33 Don't tell me, don't tell me, don't tell me. But to answer Brianna... Is the Lord coming? No. To answer Brianna, that is on the cards and you will see something along those lines in the next... We're pretty busy for the next few weeks. Yes.
Starting point is 00:30:46 By July, you'll have an answer to that question, Brianna. Oh, my God. This is the best day ever. Yeah. I mean, except for the Lord tickets. Yep. I mean, you win some, you lose some. Hey, this is my best day ever.
Starting point is 00:30:57 I'm having a great time. Well, tomorrow actually might be our best day ever because we're talking about jizz and 10 things I hate about you. Does it get any better than that? No, it does meow. Love you, bye. What's something that rhymes with meow that sounds like lord? What's a lord song that starts with an M?
Starting point is 00:31:17 Meow-a-drama. Is that her album? You're going to have such a great time. Meow-a-drama? Is that her album? Yeah, it is. I'm going to go and see great time. Maladrama? Is that her album? Yeah, it is. I'm going to go and see Mialadrama. Love you, bye.
Starting point is 00:31:32 We're on each other's tears. Love you, Lord. Not Tony. You can't spell Lord. You can't spell Lord. You can't spell Lodge without Lord. Plus an R. That's me. The R.
Starting point is 00:31:56 Tony Lodge.

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