Toni and Ryan - Toasty McToast Face

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

Some confessions we REALLLLLLY didn't see coming! Love ya! Toni xxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge, and we are calling Megan, who's in Minneapolis. Meganapolis. Meganapolis. Meganapolis. Boop, boop. Bling, bling. Oh my God, what were we just talking about before we hit record?

Coffee. Specifically? Hello? Megan! It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? Hey! I'm doing good.

How are you guys? We're well, but we have backed in Megan. Is it Megan, Megan, Mogan, or Mogan, Mogan? Okay, so I'm actually a really bad person to ask that for because I honestly answer to so many names, but that might be because I have siblings. Bitch. That's what we'll call you. Actually, I have responded to that. Yep, great. If you've got sisters, you have to learn. be because I have siblings. Bitch. That's what we'll call you. Actually, I have responded to that.

If you've got sisters, you have to learn. Now, Megan, bitch, what do you research for a living? I work with dairy cows. We do metabolic disease research and dairy cows. So obviously the question I ask you is what you would spend a lot of time doing. Now in 2024, when you order a coffee and you just want cow's milk, do you need to just state cow's milk or is cow's milk still the default if I just order a latte? Well, so here in the States it's still default,

but I always get asked is 2% okay and I go absolutely. Okay. That's interesting. See, I'd go half and half every time. Yeah, half 2% okay? And I go, absolutely. Okay. That's interesting. See, I'd go half and half every time. Yeah, half and half. We don't have that here, bitch, and we're missing out. We don't have that here, bitch. Sorry, I didn't know what to do.

Honestly, when you guys said that you guys don't have half and half, I honestly cried for the whole country. I was like, how do you guys not have half and half? We put that in, like, everything. Thank you, bitch. And bitch is a dairy researcher, so she would know. Yeah, bitch knows. Bitch knows, she knows.

So, bitch, will you approve this podcast? Absolutely. This is bitch, also known as Megan, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, and I approve this podcast. All right, happy new year. Happy new year. And I want you to think about a couple of things that you're passionate about. So everyone listening, what is the few things,

whether it's a TV show, a type of food, a holiday destination, a person, a theme, a genre, whatever it is, that you're like, I am all for this or I'm all against this. It's like, what gets you going? Because if this is, and this is what I know about Tony Lodge, my good friend. Oh, good friend. Okay, we're getting closer.

What do you want to say, a bad friend? This is my bad friend, Tony Lodge. She bad. She bad. She a bad bitch. Tony is passionate about Diet Coke. Yes. Watch our YouTube video about Diet Coke.

Yep. Tony is passionate about The Office TV show, US. Thank you for the specification because it's very important to me, as you know. Tony is extremely passionate about not being a bird guy. Don't like birds. Not a bird guy. Wow, you really do know me very well.

Another thing Tony is passionate about is the fact that you can't accidentally fuck your partner's twin or roommate or dad and not know it i am very very passionate about that because there's no way and every time we get a fucking confession about that and people like yeah accidentally just like fucked my brother's brother my boyfriend's brother. Brother's brother is still your brother. I mean, you still couldn't do that. You still couldn't do that. It was late and I thought it was my boyfriend

but it was accidentally his cat. Yeah, like no, it doesn't happen. And every time we get a confession like this, I go, nope, I don't, like I call bullshit on that. Do I know you or do I know you? You do know me actually. Yeah, that was very good. I know what you're passionate about.

Do you want to go out with me? I feel like we're just a perfect match. I've offered to put a Band-Aid on your butt. Yeah, that's true. I've offered to. You've offered to rub my tummy when I felt bloated. I have done that. I've declined, but I appreciate the offer.

Just left it for the record. That's so sweet. Obviously not. I thought that counts. And whilst I get it, I think when you're bloated, the last thing you want is someone touching your body. You're like, I get it, but also just don't even. And then you like creep over on the couch.

I'm like, nope. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're on the record? I'm on the record. Yeah, 100%. Today's confession. Nope, there's nothing that could convince me otherwise. Might change your stance.

Nope. According to the confessor, they've sent through and gone, I think this will change Tony's mind. Question. Yep. What are your, hedge your bets? What do you think? Do you think that I will, like, after hearing this,

like, what do you reckon? Because you know me so well, right? Do you look at this and go, fuck, maybe? Or are you like, I know Tony Lodge that well? Let me read the headline of the confession and we'll get back to my prediction. Okay. Okay.

I accidentally slept with my roommate's boyfriend. Uh-huh. They broke up, got a new boyfriend, and then I accidentally slept with my roommate's boyfriend. Uh-huh. They broke up, got a new boyfriend, and then I accidentally slept with them. Slept with the new boyfriend. Yeah, as well. And the old boyfriend. No. You can't accidentally sleep with someone.

Now, here's the thing. I reckon I'm going to share this confession and you're going to go, oh, actually, I can see how that can happen by accident. All good. You're in the clear here. Not ideal, sure, but, yeah, I can understand. Are we getting into coincidence chat areas here? Yes.

Yeah, okay. In fact, some may argue that this could be. The coincidence chat. Yeah. Yeah, okay. In fact, some may argue that this could be. The coincidence chat. Yeah. Yeah, okay. All right, I'm willing to, I'll listen. If there was a Venn diagram of confessions and coincidence chat, this is the middle bit.

It's right over. I'm a fabulous boy who works in a fabulous bar and a new boy started working there and he's hot and fabulous and we were really flirty together. Cute. Do you remember when you were younger and you just and a new boy started working there and he's hot and fabulous and we were really flirty together. Cute. Do you remember when you were younger and you just meet a new person and instantly you're like, ooh. Yes.

Yeah. And every single person is like a potential crush. Yeah. You're like, oh, my God. Wow, they work with me. We've got so much in common. It was only a few weeks before he came back to our share house and no one was home.

I never have boys over when others are there because the house is too small to share. Like there's just, you can't if there's other people in the house. And like in a share house as well, generally everybody's like around the same age. Yep. So you kind of go, we all kind of know what we're doing here. But you're still like. It's a bit awkward.

Have you ever done it in a share house? Like with other people home? We all have. You can just say awkward. Have you ever done it in a share house? Like with other people home? We all have. You can just say yes. Cut the middleman. Yeah, but like it's not the same because you're trying to be quiet and it's just awkward and you're like, shh, shh, shh. Or you know that your junk housemates are going to come home later

and, you know, barricade through the door and you're like, oh. And pretend that you're not. Like, oh, what happened to me? Oh, no, we're just chatting. Yeah. Just chatting. Chatting with my dick. Sorry. like, oh, what happened to me? Oh, no, we're just chatting. Yeah. Just chatting. Chatting with my dick. Sorry.

Yeah, someone's mouth's open. It was only a few weeks before we came back to the share house and no one was home. We played a game of hide the cucumber. Oh, like a salad like we had the other day. Yeah. Yeah. No, not like.

Same thing. No. It was hot as fuck, but next time at work it was really awkward. Oh. You know, we met. It was fun and flirty. We came back. We hit a cucumber but next time at work it was really awkward. Oh. You know, we met. It was fun and flirty. We came back. We hit a cucumber.

And then at work it was just like, oh, they're a bit, oh. And then you're like, what, did I do something wrong? Yeah. Like you just feel so embarrassed. A few weeks later someone was leaving the share house and we found this new person to move in and replace them. I said, oh, where have you moved from? And my new housemate goes, oh, I was living with my boyfriend,

but he cheated on me with someone who works at the bar. Oh. Yeah. So. Okay. Yeah. After a few follow-up questions. So a new housemate that our confessor didn't know at the time.

Yep. Yep. A few follow-up questions later and there was no doubt that the other guy was in fact me. So the guy I'd slept with at the bar was living with this bloke and cheating, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, which is awful, but, I mean, he didn't know. He didn't know that this guy had a boyfriend. So, okay.

So you're on the record saying he didn't know that this guy had a boyfriend. So, okay. So you're on the record saying he didn't know all good. Oh, no, no, no. I'm saying he, yeah. Okay. Keep going. I kept this information. I've got my defense prepared, by the way. I thought there's nothing really to gain by saying, oh, that was me.

I'm really sorry. Like there's no. Oh, no one's a winner there. Yeah. So he's like, I'll just keep that to me. I'm really sorry. Like there's no. Oh, no one's a winner there. Yeah. So he's like, I'll just keep that to myself and I'll find someone else to hide cucumbers in. I hooked up with this other guy a few times, physical only, you know, just like we both knew what it was.

All good. Yep. And after we finished hiding cucumbers one night. Oh my gosh. He says, he goes, oh, this is probably the last time we'll do this. I've been on a few dates with someone and I think it could really lead somewhere. Yeah. Which is fair and respectable and mature to go, hey, this was a physical thing.

I think I've actually found someone I like. Yeah, totally. All's fair in love and war. The next night, my roommate brings that guy home. The roommate is the maybe serious guy. And my roommate is doing, you know, the mini house tour. He comes, oh, I'll give you the tour.

Yeah. Oh, this is John. We've lived together for a month. And the other boy is acting like he hasn't, and I quote, had cucumbers hidden in him in four different rooms of this house over the last four days already. Yes. Then the roommate introduces, oh, this is John. This days already. Yes. Then the roommate introduces us. Oh, this is John.

This is John. And they're like, oh. I've accidentally fucked two of my roommate's boyfriends. I think Tony will read this and go, actually, maybe you can accidentally fuck the wrong person. Okay. Please, lay it on me, dog, because I read that and I went, yeah, all good, bro.

I get it. But this isn't the same thing because he hadn't met, so our confessor hadn't met either of these people in a different context. So this is amazing coincidence, Chad. Amazing. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you. But it's not the same as accidentally fucking your boyfriend's brother or, oh, we accidentally slept together because they were twins. No, that's not. I accidentally fucked my roommate's boyfriend is the headline. Are you going to? Yes. Oh, yeah.

I will. But it's I will absolutely pay that without question. So you're saying roommates, partners is on the table now? No. What? You're saying yes, that is on the table now? No, what? You're saying, yes, that is a thing that can happen accidentally. Oh, but he didn't know, our confessor didn't know, had never previously met these people.

And the first one, he hadn't even met the housemate yet. Yeah. So, but it's not the same as being like, oh, I was really drunk one night and instead of fucking my wife, I fucked my wife's twin sister. That's not the same thing as what we're saying here because this, I believe, totally happened and that is like, what a disaster because you would just feel awful that both times you didn't know they had a partner,

so it's like whatever. But it's not the same as the twin thing. Okay. I'm very passionate about the twin thing. Okay, so twins, brothers, still not sure about. Accidental housemate partners when you didn't know is fair game. Well, not fair game in the way that I like endorse cheating or whatever. But in this situation, like, yeah, that can accidentally happen.

Yeah, absolutely. So on the record, Tony L hang on is it true to accidentally but they'd never met yeah so there can be accidents because you didn't know that they were linked to you in some way the twin thing do you know what i'm saying yeah i'm just trying to figure out where the line is of what's possible i think that if you have met someone before yep you then can't. Because the classic one is like, oh, I accidentally slept with my wife's twin sister. I'm like, well, no, you didn't.

Because you've met them before. You know what your wife looks, smells, feels like. They would touch, foul, smell the same. What? Are you talking about in a cartoon? That's not what it's like in real life. I don't think I know of any identical twins. Maybe that's my issue.

But obviously they're not identical in the way that they sound and smell and talk and, like, dress even. There's just so many things that there's just no way that that genuinely happens. I reckon it's a lie, people tell, but I don't think it genuinely happens. Whereas this, like, this is not the same as that, but this is like an amazing coincidence and wouldn't you just feel like such an arsehole?

Yeah. And you go, wow, we've got the same tasting boys, huh? Like, I think the roommate needs to get quicker. Lock him down earlier. What's going on? Also, you know how the second boy goes, oh, there's someone I'm like, think I'm kind of serious about, like, this has been really fun,

but I think I want to like pursue it with them. Never been to their house. Weird. Yeah, you've jumped to a conclusion there. But you've never, like, imagine saying like, yeah, I think I'm going to date this person. You've never been to their house. Well, wouldn't that be, well, that's where they were going. Like they've been on a few dates.

They've been out for dinner or whatever they met. And they go, yeah, look, come over and watch a movie. That's to be like the first time has to happen at some stage. But surely the first time of that would happen before you'd gone, I'm going to, I actually want to just see what happens with this person. Yeah. Because you can tell a lot from people like what their rooms like, because imagine if you were like. Oh my God, he's got blink 182 posters. Yeah., like, what their rooms are. Like, because imagine if you were like.

Oh, my God, they've got Blink-182 posters. Yeah. Or like, I don't know. Oh, I'm a real clean freak. I really like, you know. Or imagine if you fucked one of their housemates. Yeah, imagine. Like, you know.

No, there's some recon work you'd want to do. I feel like you would want to do that before you'd committed. Before I committed to you. And, like, cut ties from someone else and been like, no, I'm going to try it with this guy. How do you feel about waiting until he'd finished? Waiting until he finished? Like they hooked up and as soon as they finished hooking up,

he's like, oh, by the way. Oh, just squeeze one more out. Oh, yeah, maybe there's a. That's a bit shit. Yeah, I didn't really think about that. If you really like this other guy, then you wouldn't have just had a cucumber hidden within you. Yeah, you're not making that salad again.

Toss on that salad. Let me quickly do this confession from a legacy pooper. Ooh. One day in college, I walked into the bathroom and all four stalls are full. Because sometimes it's like, yeah, the big communal bathroom. Yeah. And there's a line for the stall. So he's like, oh, geez, you know, it's going to be a while there.

I go back to my room thinking I'll put some shoes on. I'll, you know, I'll head over to another building or whatever. I've got class over there anyway. But then it's happening. Four stalls isn't a lot, is it? No. Thankfully, my roommate wasn't there. And thank God.

And he was fucking the other guy. Yeah. Thank God my roommate wasn't there. But I knew he had a trash can under his desk. So I grabbed it and then groaned as that grogan left my body into the trash can. I wiped up with a sock. Oh, better than a towel. And I put that in the trash can as well and I'm relieved for a second.

You know, that, oh. Yeah. Until I realised. I've shit in a bucket in my house with a sock. And then what am I going to do with it? Yeah. I tie the trash bag up, run down the hallway, run down the stairs to the communal trash room where you put it all.

But someone's there like sorting the trash. Yeah. I can't just like lob it in. Lob a poo in. A grenade. So I walk past them and dump it into like one of the recycling only bins and then scurry back to my room. A day or two passes and I'm starting to relax because I think,

oh, maybe I've actually gotten away with this. You know, I was a bit on edge. Yep. Until I get an email. No. A mandatory emergency meeting for everyone that lives in the building in the communal area right now. Must attend.

Ooh. And surely in that moment, you'd be like, well, it can't be about that. Like you'd be running through the scenarios. You're like, there's no way. Then he also went, can I just not go? Yeah. Can I call in sick to a mansion? Is that going to look so obvious?

If it is about the poo, then is it going to look like it was my poo? And he's like, well, yeah, all these things. I'm just going to go and like pray. It could be, you know, maybe it could be anything. Maybe we've won a prize. You know, like every time you go to an assembly at school or whatever and you're like, I'm probably getting a certificate. No.

Oh, cool. What certificates did you win in primary school at assemblies? A lot. Really? Yeah. So every time they go, oh, there's an assembly, you go, oh, what have I won this time? Not what have I won, but like, oh, maybe I've won something.

Okay. Back yourself in, guys. Yeah. Maybe I'll call an all-staff meeting at Tony and Ryan. And I'll be like, what have I won? Yeah, and they'll give me certificates. You write down likes, certificates. It turns out it's some poor dude's job to sort the recycling by hand

to make sure all the materials end up in the right place. You know, there's different kinds of plastic and glass. Oh, no, that's actually trash. We can't put that through. Because also if one thing is wrong in the recycling, they can't recycle any of it. Yeah. This guy had to dig around my shit-stained socks and then find my two-day-old poop that had really started to grow a funk.

Oh, fuck, that's right. They didn't know who did it, but we all got called off and we all got called disgusting and fair enough. That is fair enough. They put up these really passive-aggressive signs, like around their face, that said, what does and does not constitute recycling? And on it there was a picture of a poo with a big red cross on it. Like, recycling, no.

Well, I mean, it's good to be sure, I guess. This was many, many years ago, but a younger cousin of mine now goes to that college and I went to visit. And I noticed that this was many, many years ago, but a younger cousin of mine now goes to that college and they, I went to visit and I noticed that sign. Don't return to the scene of the crime. I noticed those signs were still up. Wow. What a legacy.

Thus a confession of a legacy pooper. There's nothing I can add to that. This is bitch. also known as Megan, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, and you are listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tarpers over at our Patreon. Tarpers, that's Tony and Ryan Podcast.

And everyone's a tarper, but if you would like to be a nine-year-old tarper, if you know, you know, exclusive tarper, champion tarper, you can check out all of our exclusive stuff that we do over there. Come and join us. Chloe Maui-Noah. Thank you so much, Chloe. Shona Batchelor. Hardly know her.

Madison Kuligowski. Kuligowski. Isn't that a great name? That's a sick name. Yeah. Hannah Dutson and Sarah Haber. Thank you so much, everyone, for being part of our. Thanks, Haber.

Yeah. Haber. Hardly know her. Another one. Another one. So a bit of bad news. My car got recalled. Oh.

For what? You got a payout? You know, sometimes they refund you and stuff. Yeah, well, I did see the letter. So they send a letter, right? Yeah. And I'm like, oh, my God, I'm going to get heaps of money or a brand new car.

So is that when you hear on the news when they go, this has been recalled because it turns out they've found a malfunction in this. Exactly. You hear those on the news, right? Yeah. And it's like a big thing. Yeah, or like, do you remember the one?

Everyone gets a new Audi. The last ones had a wrong ignition part. You remember that really bad one a few years ago with the. Strawberries? The strawberries with the needles. Yeah. That isn't what I'm talking about. I'm talking about car recalls because that's what we're talking about.

That was one of the great recalls. Sure. No, the one where it was like the airbags had metal shards in them. What the fuck? Do you remember that? Yeah. Fuck. Of what car?

There was a bunch of different brands that used the same. Airbag manufacturer. Airbag manufacturer. That's a bad mistake. Well, yeah. Like how does that happen? But it was like, oh, if the airbag were to go off, like metal shards would fly out and all these people got new cars

and they reset the thing. The thing designed to keep you alive. Is going to kill you anyway. Yeah. Yeah. That's a recall. Anyway, so yeah, that was a huge recall. Luckily for my safety, but not like for my pride.

Yeah. It was just like a fuse that needed to be checked. Okay. And I was like, oh. These are coming loose on a few. We might as well get them all back and double check. Yeah, so they checked every single car that's the same as mine, like the year 2022 or whatever of the A3.

Yeah. Anyway, and so they recalled them and I got this letter and I got the letter actually like before we went to the US. Ah. And so I had been meaning to do it for ages. No, I just, you know when it's like you've got to book it in and you've got to go and fucking do it. Life's hard, isn't it?

It's not about life being hard. No, it is though. It's that admin where you go like, fuck, last thing that I want to do. How loose can the fuse be? I've been driving it every day. It seems fine to me. I am a doctor, but I am not a mechanic. I'm not a mechanic.

But it seems fine to me. Anyway, and it's sitting at the top of my to-do list. Top of the top, was it? It was. It actually was. I was doing stuff from the bottom. Yeah, so how I do to-do lists is I start at the bottom and work my way back to the top.

No, see, I look at something and I go too hard. And then I go to the next thing and I go, I'll do that one. I'll do that. Buy a coffee. Yeah, so how I do to-do lists is I start at the bottom and work my way back to the top. No, see, I look at something, I go too hard, and then I go to the next thing and I go, I'll do that one. I'll do that. Buy a coffee. Yeah, done. Make to-do lists. Get Tom's T-shirt from T-shirt store. T-shirt shop.

Anyway, so I made a booking and I go to the place and it's like 8 a.m. Yep. And because I've recently, because I've moved since getting the letter, I had to go to a new servicing, like Audi place that I hadn't been to before. And, you know, when you take your car into service and, like, the sales are all at the front and then, like, next to that is the service centre and you drive into the workshop

then they take your car off you. You never really know where to park, though. You never really know. It's really awkward. Do I drive straight into the workshop or is that a bit? Is that a bit presumptuous or am I going to like. If I park at the front, are you going to try and sell me a new car? But do I screw up the.

Order of things? The order. Yeah. So if I drive straight in, is that three people that were actually before me or whatever? Yeah, you and I get that. And thank you. Yeah.

Parking chat. Parking anxiety chat. Anyway, but I get there and there's a guy that's pulled into like the driveway of the workshop. Yeah, parking chat, parking anxiety chat. Anyway, but I get there and there's a guy that's pulled into like the driveway of the workshop and he's kind of like his doors open, the car's running, but he's still in there. I'm like, oh, this is obviously where I need to go. And so I pull up and I crack my window a little bit just to like hear if I'm in the right place.

And this guy gets out of the car and he's holding like a plate of toast. Like it's insane. Like it's just like a ceramic plate with two bits of peanut butter toast on it. Had you pulled into a guy's house? Were you definitely at Audi? Yeah. And not at like Trevor Audi's residence? So he's like woken up in the morning, made some toast, put it on a plate,

gotten in the car with it, driven to the Audi dealership. Toast with peanut butter in a car is fucking brave. And then he's gotten the plate. He hasn't eaten it on the way. He's gotten the plate out of the car and he's like standing. This isn't really that important to the story. It's just like the weirdest quirk. And he's standing there like talking to the guys in the workshop,

holding this like plate of toast like a waiter, like as if someone had ordered Uber Eats of a plate of toast and that's what he'd rocked up with. Does he know he's still holding the toast? I don't know, but it's hilarious. I'm like sitting there and I'm like, am I being punked? Like is Ashton Kutcher about to walk out? Anyway, the guy who comes over who works in the workshop and he goes,

oh, sorry, sir, you're actually not in the right spot. You're not supposed to pull into here. But I can move your car for you if you just follow me. And the guy goes, oh, every time I come here and I'm in the wrong spot. Holding the toast still. Wrong spot. For those playing at home, Tony's doing the inverted quotation marks with both hands,

which is hard to do whilst you're holding toast. But then I change and I do this. Yeah, you change to one hand. Yeah, okay. And he's like holding his toast. So it just like instantly takes all credibility away from this guy. You know, like you can't take someone serious who is holding a plate of toast. I was going to say, to be fair, not much credibility for starters,

and then he's had a blow up and you go, what's toast got to do with it? I'm like, oh, sweetheart, what's wrong? Like you're a little baby with your toast. Like, we all eat toast. At home. We're all a bit angry when we're hungry. Yeah, baby, do you need some toast? Do you need any for me?

Do you need any toast? And then we'll just, like, calm down and have a breath with our toast and then we'll decide where to park. Sweetheart, let's count to three, have some toast, and then we'll move the car. Anyway, and the guy's like, every fucking time I come here, I'm in the wrong fucking spot. I mean, he's not wrong, but yeah.

And he's like, you tell me where to park. He goes, oh. I will. Like, I'm trying. I'd love to. And he goes, but sir, actually, if you just give me your keys, like, I can move the car for you. Yep.

And Bill will walk you through to the service area where you can sit in the lounge until we're ready to, like, check you in. Yeah. And did the guy reference the toast? He goes, where you can sit down and finish your breakfast. Have your breakfast and until we're ready to like check you in yeah and did the guy reference the toast because where you can sit down and finish your breakfast have your breakfast and then we can like check you in anyway i think they make you a coffee i don't know why but car dealerships love to make you a coffee they did do the coffee yeah they did um it was a nice one as well good on them yeah um out is a bit different to where i got my car from okay yeah fucking international roast do you want a coffee?

I'm like, yeah. I'm like, well, go fuck yourself. Yeah. Oh, there's a Maccas around the corner. They just throw some beans at you and then down to your hot water. No, it's not even beans. It's just instant, like instant granules. Throw instant granules at you and then just pour hot water on your person and go fucking

figure the rest out yourself, you stupid asshole. Literally. And so anyway, this guy's arcing up about how unprofessional they are. And the guy's like, I'll move your car. Like he's really like, it's 8am. It's first thing in the morning. He's really maintaining it. And they like walk the guy through.

And then someone else comes over to me and I was like, bro, I'm so sorry. I've just heard that. Like, I know I'm in the wrong spot. And he goes, oh, don't worry about it. And we're both kind of bonding over like that guy. And you go, hey, sorry, I'm in the wrong spot. But trust me, I ain't going to give you a fucking scene like old Toaster McToast face over here. Literally.

I'm like, don't worry, bro, there's no toast in the car. And he's laughing and I'm like, we're having a great time. Anyway, and so he's like, I'll move you. And I was like, I can just, like, it's my car. I'm happy to move it. He goes, bro, no, no, no, I'll do it for you. And I go, cool. And so I grabbed my hat.

Sorry, thank God you said cool because I thought after your. After the valet and the t-shirt store, I can do it myself. No, but I'm like all good. Here's the keys and I just grabbed my handbag and my water bottle out of the car. And then so I walk in and there's two check-in

desks and there was no one else really around because it was so early. The guy with the toaster sitting at one and then the guy who was helping me sat down at his desk and, like, gestured for me to sit opposite him. Yep. And he's like, oh, okay, so you're here for, like, what are you here for?

And I was like, oh, my name's Tony Lodge. Here's my, what's the thing, number plate. Yep. And they look you up in the system and he's kind of tapping away and as he's tapping away, the guy with the toast is next to me and he's like, oh, well, last time I was here it took so long. And the guy was like, oh, like, okay, sir. Yeah, like we do it as quick as we can.

Oh, and how good, you've come in really early so. Front of the line. You know, you're at the very beginning of the day. We'll try and get you done as quick as possible. And he goes, and are you going to wash it this time? Because last time, blah. And, like, he's just, like, going off his cock. And I'm sitting there like, what are you fucking, like, have your toes and shut up.

But also, are you going to wash it? Yeah, yeah. What's the legality there? Because if we're throwing a sponge around. Yeah, like, fucking let it hit my cock as well. Anyway, and then the guy goes, okay, so yeah, we'll get you as quickly as we can. So the guy helping me is still like tap, tap, tap it away.

And the guy helping the toast man is like, oh, and just confirming you're out of your pre-paid service plan. Yep. So it'll be $700 today or whatever it was. I wouldn't like that. And he goes, nope, I won't be paying that. I'm still in the package. Like, how dare you offend me?

I've been a customer here for six years and whatever. And I go, well, the service package lasts five. Five, yeah. Like, you're out of your mind. Yeah, I don't think you know what you're arguing here. Yeah, and then so he's like, oh, there's no way I'll be paying that. And I'm sitting there like, couple out of this. Yeah. Like, what is going on? Yeah. And then so he's like. there's no way I'll be paying that. And I'm sitting there like, couple out of this. Yeah.

Like, what is going on? Yeah. Howdy, drivers. Am I right? Right. And his car was a lot nicer than mine. Brilliant. But anyway, so he's like, I won't be paying for that.

And the guy's like, I can actually see on your file you paid in cash for the last one, so it's not a mistake. And you know. And you know that. And he goes, well, I won't be paying a dollar over because last time you charged me extra. And he goes, well, sir, like we don't check. We don't charge you for anything. We do the mandatory work.

It costs what I've just quoted you. And anything on top of that, we call you or come up and check and say, oh, you could do with some new wiper blades. Are you bothered by that? Like it'll cost X. Would you say on the whole that the guy working there was being very diligent and patient? Very diplomatic, really, really nice. And this guy's going off his rocker.

Like he was just so rude. He's fucking fuming. Anyway, so the guy helping me is finally like, oh, cool. Oh, so you're in here for a recall. And I was like, yeah. And he goes, oh, so like it'll be free. Yeah. Because like we've had to. And could this other guy hear that? in here for a recall and i was like yeah and he goes oh so like it'll be free yeah because like we've had to and could this other guy hear that i don't know but he's just going mental over on

the other side and i was like oh yeah that's fine and he goes oh while you're here is there anything you want us to check for you and i was like oh actually and he oh, because he's heard this guy going burko. And I was like, oh, this is really silly, but my key's going flat. And he goes, yeah. And I go, every time for the past four months I get in the car, it beeps and it goes, replace the battery. And I was like, you can't do that for me, can you? And he goes, yeah, we can, but it's $11.

And I was like, oh. And he goes, yeah, like, you know, you could go to a Mr. Minute and they would do it for four, you know, like a watch replacement place. And I was like, yeah. Are you buying from Bunnings or something as well? I don't know. And I was like, mate, if I haven't done it yet, like it's not going to happen.

Yeah, my last four months would indicate that I'm going to probably pay that $11. Yeah, and I was like, you know what, mate, I'm good for $11. Yeah, write it down. But, you know, I'm like, oh, don't stress. And because we had a bit of a rapport, I was like, oh, mate, like don't stress like, oh, one big on lotto, like I've got $11 kind of thing. And then he goes, oh, great, Tony, like, oh, one big on lotto. Like, I've got $11 kind of thing. And then he goes, oh, great, Tony.

Like, great, Tony, let's pop that through. And he passes me the FPOS machine and my card declined. For $11. $11. $11. $11. And I went, and he went, that hasn't gone. And I went, no one knows more than me, mate,

that that hasn't gone through. Yeah. I'm 11. And so did old mate notice? One, one. $11. Because you know how there's that classic, because when it goes through, it's like, and when it doesn't,

it's like. Yeah. It's like the lights all turn off. And so I'm imagining Toast Guy looks across and goes, decline, and you go, yeah, they've tried to charge me $18,000. Has that happened to you? Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. No, I was like, yeah, I don't have any money.

Could I have some of your toast? I'm starving. Yeah, so it didn't go through. So what did? And then I go, oh. Well, to be fair, you rocked up to a free thing. Thank you. That's really kind of you. You weren't expected to outpour, you rocked up to a free thing. Thank you. That's really kind of you.

You weren't expected to outpard cash. Well, I'm just trying to like be better at being served than this other guy. Yeah. But then I like made it difficult anyway. And I go, oh, bro, I'm so sorry. I was like, there's no money in there. And he goes, clearly. And I go, let me try another card.

And I knew that it would just you know when like a payment comes out but you weren't or you go oh I forgot to transfer money over exactly and um and so I just use another card there was money in there like all good and he goes yeah like great like thanks so much these other guys still going off his rocker but I was like oh I'm so good at being served and then my fucking 11 dollars $11 as well. That's an embarrassingly small amount. Such an abysmal amount of money for me to be at the Audi dealership. It wasn't at Coles and people were like, oh,

it happens all the time. People buy Audis here. In cash. Yeah. And I'm like, ooh. Can I get the new Audi A4? Yeah, do you take card? Yeah. Literally. I'll just sign for that. It's just money ain't no thang but a chuck and wang. And I'm like $11.

I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear that. Thank you for that. I'll let that one just, I'm going to not even. Yeah, through to the keeper. Whoa. But anyway, $11. I was like, and you know how once we talked on the podcast, like is it more when my.

When it's more or less? Yeah, is it more money that's embarrassing or less? Because it was when my mortgage didn't go through. Okay. So now that you've had. I had to pay my deposit. Sorry, my house deposit. So now we have the full scope to actually decide with experience what is worth.

So Tony Lodge, was it the $11 or was it the, what I'm assuming is over $100,000 for a house deposit? What's more embarrassing? Unequivocally, the $11. Yeah. Because that was face-to-face. Yeah. The one, the like house deposit, that was online and I went,

oh, sorry, just like wrong thing. They go, oh, yeah, fine. And I knew I had the money, but it was the confidence at which I tapped for the $11 and he went, well, no. No. Was it also that you developed a rapport? Yeah, we were chatting. Like we were mates.

He was like, oh, yeah, all good. And I was playing Taylor Swift and I was like, oh, who's the Swifty in here? Like, yeah, we'd done like some good chat and I was just like determined to be the good customer and then, yeah. You can still be a good customer and poor. Absolutely. But, yeah, and I think it was just that I was like, oh, yeah,

I'm so airy, fairy, beautiful, easygoing. Nah, no way. Yeah. I've got to love to see that might put a pep back in your step, just to bring you back. Thank you. To where you belong after what is clearly a torturous, harrowing event.

Sam Van Aal. Sam Van Aal. Sam Van Aal, beautiful. About a year ago, I sustained an injury while training for half marathon. My stubborn butt decided to keep running through the pain, and by the end of summer, I could barely walk. Because, yeah, when you start hurting, the worst thing you can do is keep running. And then once you stop, it's really hard to get started again. Absolutely.

I did some physical therapy and some physio and I was doing the stretches and all good, but I hadn't got back out there running. I was scared that I was going to get hurt again and starting from zero is a pain in the ass. Absolutely. But then I heard Tony talk about her wanting to do a 5K. Okay, no, I don't want to do a 5K.

I want to run 5Ks. Yeah. Very close. Important difference. Close, but different. Yes, thank you. But I thought if our queen, Toni Lodge, can do it, then so can I. She is my inspiration.

So today I did my first five kilometres since my injury. Flex. Yeah, that's his warm-up. Yeah. No, this is a pump-up. It's a pump-up. Yeah, it is. Thank you to Tony for being an inspiration to all of us.

I've been running. I'm back running again now. You'll love to see it. Oh, Sam, good on you. That's awesome. It's just that first thing when you've got to put your runners on. Put your runners on and then you know you'll go. What do you love to see?

You do love to see that. I got this one from our mate Nolan, who's in our Patreon, and very specifically requested that I would share this today on the 20th of February. Nolan says, In 2015, I was met with a very rare, specific and complicated diagnosis of leukaemia, which I ended up in hospital for 10 months. In that time, I received four rounds of chemo, had 18 lumbar punctures, bone marrow biopsies,

and rounds of radiation. And he says, don't Google any of that. No, that's not my time. You don't want to know. But ultimately, I ended up with a life-saving stem cell transplant from an anonymous donor. Wow. Just crazy.

He was in hospital every day for 305 days, was in hospital for almost a full year. Isn't that crazy? I'll tell you what the craziest thing about that is. Do you know how much it costs to park at a hospital? Oh, actually. Just admit, I'll catch the train, I'll Uber in once and I'd rather stay there than drive in 305 times. Well, I think that Nolan was an in.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the visitors, visitors paying for parking. I'd actually say that's a silver lining. Yeah. Because you have to go in for like a thing each day. Yeah, no, you've played the system well there, son. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, Nolan, great job. He's like, I have to stay overnight. And Nolan says, my favour and request is that on Tuesday, February the 20th, 2024, in that episode you give Janina Roda, my now not anonymous donor, and my entire medical team at Mount Sinai Hospital a shout out and a happy 8-3 birthday to me for celebrating eight years post-transplant, cancer-free, no signs of relapse, doing amazing.

Fuck yeah, get around it, dog. Isn't that awesome? Huge. And thank you, Nolan, so much for sharing that with us because... Who's the donor again? Yeah, Nina. So after a certain amount of time goes by, they're allowed to disclose?

Well, I don't know if it was the time or maybe they... Maybe Nolan said, like, I'm just going to put in a request to see if that person would be happy for me to know them. Because I'd love to say thank you and maybe then the research place says to Janina, oh, would you mind

if we, like, he would just love to say thank you and she goes, yeah, or no, maybe that's what happens, I don't know. That's huge. But Nolan, we're really so happy to hear about that. And the fact that somebody donated that, that saved your life. Oh, massive. But also Sam went for a run. Yeah, but I couldn't pay $11 at the car place.

So, I mean, whose day is worse? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. We've all got our struggles. Would you rather be declined for an $11 purchase or spend 305 days in the hospital? He has said, if you think KFC nuggets are bad, try having hospital food for that amount of time.

So, I mean, the food, you got me right there. Yeah, okay, I'll cop. Fine, you had it worse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nolan will fucking, yeah. Fine, fucking Nolan, yeah, whatever, mate. But we absolutely love you, Nolan. Thank you so much for sharing that.

And we've chatted backwards and forth a couple of times, Nolan and I, so just really, really cool. We'd love to see that. Now, I'd hate to change the tone on what's ended up being a nice, heartwarming, wholesome finish to an episode. That's what we do here. But tomorrow, Mild Revenge is back. Oh, nice. And here. But tomorrow, mild revenge is back. Oh, nice.

And there's a lot of, this is how I got back at my ex in a very mild way, but it's still revengeful. That's tomorrow on the show. We'll chat to you then. Love you. Bye.