Toni and Ryan - Toni and the Feds
Episode Date: August 11, 2022Gettin railed in a park and me ruining a surprise. Pls post your best 'sayings said wrong' on today's thread in our Facebook group! Love ya, happy Friday! Toni xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com.../ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is Luna.
Yep.
Hi, Luna.
She hasn't answered yet.
Okay.
You're just practicing?
Yeah.
Great.
Hey, Luna.
Oh, that one?
That's cute.
That one?
Luna.
No.
No, it's aggressive.
Give me that first one again.
Hey, Luna.
Great.
Yeah, cool.
Okay.
Hello, Luna speaking.
Hey, Luna.
Oh, hello.
Give me one second.
Oh, my God.
Hey, what's going on?
Sorry, Luna. Are you at work? Yes. Let me just... Nadine, my God. What's going on? Sorry, Luna.
Are you at work?
Yes.
Let me just – Nadine, sorry.
I'm just going to be in the next room.
Sorry, Nadine.
All right.
Hello.
Sorry.
Oh, my God.
Where are you right now?
Where are you working?
At a law firm in Newcastle, Australia.
Okay.
So you're a legit professional.
No.
The way that you whispered, I kind of thought maybe you were working
in like a massage place or something and I was like, oh, my God,
have you got someone on the bed right now that you're like,
John, I'll be back in a minute.
No, no, I just stole a meeting room to do this. Well, we don't want to hold up a law
firm. No. Heaven forbid. Will you approve this podcast? Yes, I totally approve this podcast.
Yay. But for business reasons, would you like us to ask you in a way that sounds really professional?
reasons, would you like us to ask you in a way that sounds really professional? So maybe we could say like, Luna, would you don't agree to be part of this moving forward brief for moving forward
in the podcast? No, because I'm not professional whatsoever.
Okay, neither are we, as you could tell from what I just asked.
Hi, it's Luna from Newcastle, Australia, and I approve this podcast.
Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.
My name is Ryan John, Vice Captain of the ship.
Tony Lodge, our queen, is here.
Good morning.
Happy Friday.
Happy Friday.
You know, in teen movies, it's usually like make-out point is what I'll call it.
The place in movies where the young couple will go and drive to and they'll park the car and they'll kiss and make out.
It's usually with a bit of a view or at the top of the hill
looking back down.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Did you take a few lasses to that point in your life?
Well, does every town have that place?
Totally.
I think so.
Because where I grew up in Perth,
there was a couple of places that you'd like go.
Yeah.
Well, this is a very Perth-specific story.
Oh.
But I just want everyone to think about their hometown.
Is this about me?
Wow.
Do I do something?
Well, I don't know, but I'm going to ask the question.
Oh, okay.
Especially after the episode the other day when we heard about the mixtapes.
Actually, there's learning a lot about Tony this week.
Wow, okay.
Lucky me.
Is there a place, when I say where's that place in your town,
does something instantly come to mind?
Yeah.
Everyone listening, I'd love to know and put it in the episode thread,
whether just a bit of a view or just somewhere away from society so you can sneak away.
Yeah, where you wouldn't get caught.
Yeah, yeah.
And there's a lot of you live with your parents, I live with my parents.
We've only got this car kind of vibes.
Oh, my God.
Your car was just everything at that age.
Yeah.
So, Tony, which city are you from?
From Perth. From Perth.
From Perth.
You know how we were talking about dick appointments last week
and people travelling first?
What did you do for dick?
Yep.
Yep.
This is from Michelle Barker.
Hi, Michelle.
Myself and this bloke were feeling frisky
and we started making out in Kings Park in Perth.
That was, yeah.
Yep.
Is that what you're going to say? It's one of them, yeah. How would you describe Kings Park for everyoneth. That was, yeah. Yep. Is that what you're going to say?
It's one of them, yeah.
How would you describe Kings Park for everyone around the world?
Kings Park is the second largest inner city park.
Really?
Yep.
So it's massive.
It's gorgeous.
So there's all these different parts of Kings Park,
but there's one part and there's like a war monument up there
and like a lookout, DNA tower lookout thing. But the whole park's like on top of a cliff, right? Yeah, but it's one part and there's like a war monument up there and like a look out DNA tower look out thing.
But the whole park's like on top of a cliff, right?
Yeah, but it's on the cliff and there's one front-facing part
that looks over like the Swan River over into the city
and there's a big car park there.
Yeah, and you know it.
Yeah.
You know what's going on there.
Tony, actually I'll wait to ask you about your experience in Kings Park.
Okay, yeah, I'll wait. Your face is telling experience in Kings. Okay, yeah, I'll wait.
Your face is telling me a lot.
I'll go next.
Yep.
How is Michelle going?
We thought we'd try and hide behind some of the playground equipment,
and we just ended up doing it right there in the playground behind the slide.
Doing it in the playground?
Yeah.
Well, I mean, it's not.
I'm assuming.
You know, so.
And this is where it gets a bit wild in the comments
of the Tony and Ryan podcast Facebook group.
Carla Lane responds, oh, no, not Kings Park.
Oh, no, Cleo.
Sorry.
I did say that.
I deserve that.
My childhood is ruined, says Carla Lane.
Carla, no.
Whose parents actually took them to Kings Park as a kid?
Please keep going because the backtrack is going to be delicious.
Okay.
Sorry then.
Michelle Barker.
She drops a bit of a sorry, not sorry kind of saying the same thing.
Going, hey, mate, who hasn't done it in Kings Park?
Whose kids are actually going there?
You know, what are you even doing in Kings Park if you're not doing the hippity-dippity?
Is kind of Michelle's attitude.
Yeah.
And then Carla Lane says this.
After spending entire days at the cancer centre next door, where my mum was living at the
time, living there, I used to beg my nana to take us there just to get us out of the
hospital.
Some very sad, but very pivotalable but very pivotable.
How am I saying that?
Pivotal?
Why can't I say that?
Mate.
I'm trying to get in the emotions of this story and I can't fucking talk.
Some sad but pivotable.
Pivotal.
Some sad but important family moments happened in that playground.
But now all I can think about, says Carla Lane,
is some tarpa getting railed behind the slide.
What a visual.
Carla, fuck, that's awful.
I'm really sorry.
Oh, we don't say sorry about that shit here.
That's fucked.
That's fucked.
And I wish that that didn't happen to you.
But I think we've all got to get around, Michelle.
In our times of need, we need this beacon of hope.
Yeah, and Tearly Jane. We need this beacon of hope. Yeah.
And Tealy Jane, I only lived in 12 months and I still managed to get my King's Pork at King's Park.
King's Pork at King's Park.
I thought that was just you struggling to read.
No.
I mean, maybe both.
Cononostosnos.
Pocononostos.
Yeah.
Trinity Vieta.
My Trinity.
Trinity.
It does, does.
Trinity Vieta.
Hi, Trinity.
90% of people who grew up in Perth, including me,
got the job done in Kings Park.
The only people who didn't were nerds who went to art or music schools.
So now we've got a consensus from the Tarpers.
Everyone's thinking about their hometown and what they did between, I'm going to say the ages of maybe 16 to 20.
Even 20 is getting a bit old maybe.
Yeah, I think so.
Tony Felicia Lodge.
Yep.
One of the most fabulous people from Perth.
Kings Park.
Yay or nay?
I once almost got arrested in Kings Park.
For?
Being there late at night.
Arrested?
You fucking mocked me for getting done for jaywalking.
We're about to find out.
I didn't actually get arrested.
I wasn't put in the slammer like you were.
Well, not in the police slammer.
Myself and a male companion. Was it Sean with the mixtape no no no no no no no um we were like
sitting out on the part where you can see like the river and everything we'd gone out for dinner
we were like let's go up to the park like how nice it's actually dark as fuck like it's not
like a nice place to sit or chat or whatever oh like it's beautiful but it's actually quite scary
because there's not a lot of light around there.
Anyway, and we were sitting looking over the thing
and then we got into the car and we kind of started chatting
or whatever and...
A little smooch?
We were chatting or whatever.
What?
We were chatting or whatever.
Okay. And a cop car drove behind me, behind my car,
and parked behind me so I couldn't get out.
What the?
That's really strange behaviour.
Yeah.
And not only was it a police car, it was a federal police car.
Have I talked about this before?
What? I might have been chatting with a friend the other day. There's federal police there. Have I talked about this before? What?
I might have been chatting with a friend the other day.
There's federal police there all the time for some reason.
Why is that?
I don't know.
Because I used to live across the street.
Yeah.
So it's the feds.
It's the FBI.
The red police cars.
They're not mucking around.
No, they fucking aren't.
Anyway, and so we were sitting in the car and I was like,
let's just sit still.
Let's starfish our way out of this scenario.
Let's just sit here and just see what they do.
The feds obviously were thinking the exact same thing.
Let's just sit here and wait.
And I'm pretty sure we were just sitting there for about 15 minutes.
Were you stressing?
Yes.
They didn't get out of the car and I was driving my mum's car
and my mum had like, my mum had a BMW.
It was a nice car.
It was her pride and joy.
It was her pride and joy.
She worked her whole life to buy it and it was like a massive moment for her.
And you took her car?
Well, it was just after she died.
Oh.
And so I was like a little bit off the rails because my mum had just died.
Absolutely.
And I mean her car and the cop and they're obviously like, oh, nice car.
It had P plates on it because I was young.
Yeah.
Anyway, so the cops just like parked behind me or whatever.
They finally drove away and I was like, we've got to get the fuck out of here.
Yeah.
So I like put it in reverse and like drove out.
They followed me from Kings Park all the way to the turn off to Rollystone,
which is about 35 minutes.
That's a fair way away.
Yeah, all the way out of the city, like up into the sticks.
They followed me home the whole way.
And then when you got out, they just let you go at some stage?
Yeah, I turned off to go up the hill and they just stopped following me.
That is so weird.
It was insane.
Yeah, so I reckon they heard about Michelle and they were on high alert
and they're like, there's people fucking up here behind the slide.
Poor Carla, she's fucking beside herself.
We've got to stop the fucking increase.
Hi, this is Luna from Newcastle, Australia,
and you're listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast.
A massive thank you to a few of our champion tappers of Radar Betrayal.
Nashua Petit, thank you.
Kurt Barnhart, Emma Westall, Gage Verino, Alex Cunningham, thank you.
Liv Bell, Jessie Wall, Jessica Visioli, Sabrina Oden, Shannon and Geordie,
thank you so much for being part of our Patreon.
I know a few of you have been around for fucking ever and we love to see it.
Also, if you're looking for something to watch over the weekend,
our film for the week is Amy, the Amy Winehouse film.
You can find it on Netflix.
It's compelling viewing.
Yeah, but fucking make sure you're in a good spot before you pop it on,
I reckon.
Is it fair to say, and I don't want to spoil Monday's episode,
that, Tony, you may not have known what you were getting yourself into?
It was a surprise for T-Lodge.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
We might have to rejig what we
normally do for the film, if you know
what I mean. And anybody that's seen it will
know exactly what I'm saying.
But anyway, we'll get to that on Monday.
It is, whilst
a tragic story, it is a great story
and it's fascinating and she's incredible.
Don't let that turn you off actually watching it.
You should definitely watch it. But maybe just
prepare.
What is the thing?
Proceed with caution.
If you're in a relationship, I want you to have.
I am.
Are you?
Oh, this applies to you.
Oh, great.
I'll keep listening then.
I want you to think about what it is that makes you a great partner.
Now, the other day I said, what is it that makes you a great friend?
Yeah.
So today, what is it that makes you a great friend? So today, what is it that makes you
a great partner? I'm fucking getting called out this week. What have I
done now? It's a very Tony-heavy episode
today. I mean, it's a day ending
in Y's. Oh.
That's because we love you. Okay.
I didn't mean that as a
bad thing. Now I feel bad.
What should we do?
Should we kiss? No.
I have noticed that has been your default of...
I'm just checking.
I just want you to feel comfortable, mate.
Oh, mate.
I'm about to feel real...
I'm not even going to finish that sentence.
Whoa.
What is it that makes you a great wife?
What is it that makes you a great husband?
Also, side note,
how do you feel about being in a long-term relationship with Torbs?
Yeah.
And being like girlfriend and boyfriend?
Because I know Bridget used to get the heebie-jeebies
because it sounds like you're in high school.
And it also makes it sound like not that serious.
Yeah.
Like, oh, my boyfriend.
Like, oh, she's dating this guy at the moment.
Yeah.
No, no.
Well, dating, I would say like, oh, they've been dating for a little while.
That's quite early days, isn't it?
Yeah.
And then when your girlfriend, boyfriend, I would say is when you're like maybe Facebook
official kind of like exclusive.
Say you're, what's a really, you know how you bought the new washer and dryer or whatever?
Uh-huh.
Say you're at the store and you go, oh, I'll just need to check with my boyfriend.
Yeah.
I'll go ask my partner.
I say boyfriend. Yeah. I'll go ask my partner. I say boyfriend.
Yeah.
Because I just don't care.
Yeah.
And I feel like when I say partner, it doesn't sound right.
Yeah.
I'll just check with my partner.
I feel like I'm talking about like a lifelong lesbian life partner.
Yeah.
So when I started using partner, I got a lot of, oh, okay.
Yeah.
Oh, what's his name?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But.
Is it just us or everyone's very quick to just.
I don't know.
Oh, your partner, yeah.
But I always get.
That bloke?
Oh, no, Bridget over there.
Oh, Bridget, oh.
Oh.
Like I said, we were weird about boyfriend and girlfriend because,
okay, tell me if this is real or have we just made this up.
Okay.
It kind of felt like, even though Bridget and I knew we were going to be together forever,
that our relationship in other people's eyes was less than someone who was engaged.
Oh, that's my fiancé.
Oh, that's my fiancé.
I don't think I could say fiancé.
My husband.
And we're just like, oh, it sounds like we're not the real deal.
And it's like we're playing it down.
That's what I mean.
It sounds like you're not as serious.
But then partner can, it's like business partner.
Yeah.
Partner in crime.
Yeah.
Like there would be occasions where we would be each other's partner.
Oh, totally.
Yeah.
My business partner.
Yeah.
But even that sounds like.
Can you say that sometime?
Like if we go get a coffee after, can you go, oh, my partner?
And I'll give them a wink.
See how they react.
Oh, and see what they think.
Okay.
Yeah, totally.
Like that time in the hotel.
Oh, my God.
And we explained to them like three times why we were in separate rooms.
Oh, but is another couple coming?
What's the spare room for?
Did you want us to just put your bags in there
and you're staying in the other one?
The booking's for two rooms and you guys are clearly boning, so...
Oh, there's a massive mistake on the booking.
We've given you two rooms.
The booking's for two rooms.
Torb's always says partner and for some reason he gets away with it.
Whenever he says partner to someone, they're like, oh, what does she do?
Really?
But whenever I say, oh, my partner, they say, oh, what does she do?
Maybe just what does she do is the default for partner.
Maybe.
Gender regardless.
So, Tony, your boyfriend Torbs.
Thanks for saying boyfriend, yeah.
His birthday the other day.
Happy birthday, Torbs. Happy birthday, Torbs. How old's Torbs? I think he turned for saying boyfriend. Yeah. His birthday the other day. Happy birthday Torbs.
How old's Torbs? I think he turned
33. Right. Okay.
Oh, older man.
Yeah. Slightly. I mean, not enough
for me to say it in that weird voice.
But you organised
for him to go to this restaurant
that he's been hanging to go to for a while.
Yeah. And let me get this straight. You were going to
surprise him? What was the original plan? So it's a while. Yeah. And let me get this straight. You were going to surprise him?
What was the original plan?
So it's a restaurant, yeah, like you said,
that we've both wanted to go to for ages and it's quite hard to get into.
So I made the booking probably like seven weeks ago or something to make sure that we were definitely going to get in,
definitely going to have like a good time.
So it's not like on Thursday it's like, oh, on Saturday night do you want to go to this place because it's not. No, you just like can to get in, definitely going to have like a good time. So it's not like on Thursday, it's like, oh, on Saturday night, do you want to go to this
place?
Because it's not.
No, you just can't get in at short notice.
And you are organised.
You don't want to miss out.
I like to be organised.
It's his birthday.
You are a great girlfriend.
Thank you.
I also wanted him to know that like I'd thought about it in advance.
You know, there's nothing worse than when like, you know, you see on TV or like your
friend will say to you like, oh, we were supposed to go out.
It's my birthday this weekend.
He hasn't organised anything.
She hasn't organised anything.
They haven't, whatever.
And I just wanted him to make sure that he,
because I think birthdays are dumb.
Yeah, but he doesn't.
But, like, I want him to feel really special.
Yeah.
And I want to, like, spoil him, make him feel loved.
So seven weeks out you lock this place in,
but you decide you're not going to tell him.
No, I was like I won't tell him.
So I told him we had dinner plans.
I said so on the Friday, the 5th or whatever it was,
we've got dinner at 7 o'clock.
And he was like, ooh, do we?
And I was like, yeah, and it's a surprise.
I'm not going to tell you where it is.
Yeah, and he was like, ooh.
And I was like, have you got a few ideas floating?
Because we've got a few like.
You've got a hit list. You've got a hit list.
We've got a few regos that we would normally go to.
And he was like, oh, a couple of places that I'm thinking of.
And I was like, yeah, well, I'm not going to say anymore.
Okay.
So when were you actually planning on telling him?
Like are you going to drive there?
Like, you know, because at some stage you need to.
Let him know.
Or do you just turn up and he's like, oh, holy shit, we're here.
Yeah, I was kind of, I guess I hadn't really thought that far ahead.
But, yeah, I was thinking that, like...
There'd be a surprise element.
Yes.
A reveal.
A reveal of either us arriving at the restaurant or that morning
being like, all right, dress slutty because we're going to this place,
you know?
When you say dress slutty to Torbs, what's that mean for him?
I don't know.
It always works out.
He's lazy thong on underneath his pants.
Whenever I say dress slutty, it just works out.
He gets it.
So then how did the reveal go?
The actual reveal, not the reveal you were planning,
but how did he end up finding out?
So every time we were talking about it, I was like, oh,
well, we've got dinner friday night
and then saturday we could go and do xyz or whatever and um a mate of mine jace um he wanted
to hang catch up on the weekend and i said to torbs oh well we've got dinner on friday night
um so maybe we could do that like lunchtime on saturday because then we've got that other thing
on sunday or whatever like we're trying to like space out the weekend.
And he was like, oh, this is like a couple of hours later.
It's like the Friday before.
He's like, hang on.
So what day are we seeing Jace?
And I was like, we're going to see Jace on Saturday because on Friday night we've got Loom.
And then I went, oh!
And you just blurted it out.
I fucking opened my fat gob and I just, I got so close.
Like this was, I think this was the Wednesday
and we were going on the Friday.
I lasted like six and a half weeks of not telling you.
And it was like a really big fancy dinner,
like not something we would do very often.
Yeah, I know.
You even, I know it was for tours, but you're like,
we never do stuff like this.
You were personally looking forward for it for ages.
And maybe for over a year, since we've met, you've like,
I'm just waiting for an excuse.
To go.
Yeah.
One of those ones.
I just was so fucking excited.
And so as soon as it came out of your mouth,
did you almost like feel it coming out of your face?
I literally like put my hands over my mouth and I was like,
I can't take this back, like I've already said it.
And Toms was like, holy fuck, we're going to Loom.
Yes.
And I was like, yeah, oh, my God, I've kept the secret.
Like I was so mad with myself.
And he was like, no, mate, that sounds fucking awesome.
I'm so excited.
And I caught up with you afterwards afterwards we were doing something for work it was the next day and you were still
devastated because i just really wanted it to be a surprise and i was upset that there wasn't really
a reveal it was just me like getting fucked off with him and then i was like oh yeah where am i
going to thing and he was like oh and i was like oh no i've, and we're going to thing. And he was like, oh. And I was like, oh, no, I've, like, ruined that moment.
Now, what I'm about to say, this is not because I'm your number one fan.
It's not because I'm your best hype woman.
This is straight facts.
Okay.
I think the lead up to going, so you've got your favourite restaurant
every Friday night.
Yep.
All week you get to enjoy the excitement.
Yeah.
So I reckon even though you didn't intend,
I don't think you've stuffed this up, I reckon you've increased the gift.
Ooh.
Because not only does he get this night at loom,
but he gets to spend the whole week leading up knowing
that he's going to loom on Friday night.
I reckon the gift is better because, like, if you turned up, you're like,
oh, this is great, and you would obviously enjoy the night.
But you know when you wake up Friday morning and you go, fuck.
We're doing that tonight.
We're doing that tonight.
Yeah, and you're like, look at the menu.
The new online, you go, oh, mate, I'm going to dominate that.
I know I'm getting the entree.
Look at these cocktails.
I'm so excited.
On Thursday, because I know Torbs works in the office on a Thursday, they got, you know, oh, mate, I'm going to dominate that. I know I'm getting the entree. Look at these cocktails. I'm so excited. On Thursday, because I know Torbs works in the office on a Thursday,
they go, you know, casual like lad chat.
What are you up to on the weekend?
What are you up to on the weekend?
Oh, my girlfriend, Toni, is taking me to Loom tomorrow night.
My partner, sorry.
My partner, Toni.
Oh, if he says partner, Toni, as well.
Yeah, it could be an I or a Y.
There's no way of knowing.
And then everyone he told would have gone, oh, fucking
righto. How good's that? Yeah. And so then he would have felt this sense of pride. He would
have got more excited. His whole workplace is probably tasting those delicious loom meals.
And here you are thinking you've done the wrong thing. And I'm here to tell you,
you've made his birthday even better by allowing him to have all these experiences in the leader.
I like that.
That definitely, I mean, it's obviously been and gone now.
And he was really excited.
Like it wasn't as if he was like, oh, good one, dickhead,
you've ruined the surprise.
Like he was still excited.
But, yeah, maybe it was like the perfect amount of time
to have told him in advance.
And I'm going to go out on the record and say,
not that like you and me are surprising each other
with fucking slutty dress-up dinners.
We could.
Oh, you'd cancel?
Yeah.
Well, for me, I get to experience the excitement of going
and then don't have to go because I'll cancel last minute.
So you get a great week out of it.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't surprise me.
I want to know what the great thing is and I want to enjoy the build-up.
Because when you tell me it's still a surprise in the announcement,
even if it's two weeks out, you know what I'm saying?
Hey, in two weeks I'm going to take us here.
Oh, fuck yeah.
This next two weeks I'm just going to be rubbing my hands together
the whole time.
Don't surprise me on the day.
That'll freak me out.
Yeah, that's actually a really good point.
Yeah.
Because you do want to enjoy thinking about it.
Does this count as Ryan's motivational Friday from last week?
Yeah.
Shove it in.
Oh, it wasn't on.
Dress slottily.
No, I'm all about that.
Oh, thanks for making me feel better.
That's really nice.
And can I just actually, one more question.
Yeah.
Because I already know the answer.
Oh.
Can I just actually, one more question?
Yeah.
Because I already know the answer.
Oh.
The place Tony went, multiple courses, paired wines with those multiple courses.
The reason I'm smoking. It was an event.
Like it was a big, yeah.
The reason I'm trying not to laugh is because I hung out with Tony very early the next morning.
Yeah.
How was the evening?
It was really good.
I don't think since we've known each other I've seen you, like,
proper hungover.
I don't drink very much.
Yeah.
And Tony's not tall.
No.
And Tony's little.
I'm little.
So copping all that, yeah.
All that liquid in me plus the drinks.
Fuck. I picked up Tony the next morning and she just puts the window down
and hangs her head out like a dog.
Like a puppy.
Flapping face in the breeze.
My hair's like this.
Oh, my God.
I'm not going to say my love to see it is a hungover Tony,
but I'm just glad you enjoyed the evening.
I put it together, though.
You did. I did. I worked hard that day. Yeah, till 10am and then you love to see it is a hungover Tony, but I'm just glad you enjoyed the evening. I pulled it together, though. You did.
I did.
I worked hard that day.
Yeah, till 10am and then you went to bed till 6pm,
which, fucking hats off.
Tony, what have you loved to have seen this week?
We have just started a new you love to see it thread
in our Facebook group, which you can add memes
or anything that you want to share with people.
Nikki Bell posted in our group, though,
did anybody else just realise that they've been saying social pariah wrong?
Oh, yeah, I saw this.
I've always thought it was social piranha.
Like the fish!
Oh, they're a bit of a social piranha.
And then Nikki said...
I mean, you would be an outcast if you were fucking chomping people all the time.
Why does everyone hate her?
She just hates people?
She's such a piranha.
Then Nikki says, legit had to pull over on my drive to work while listening to the podcast
to double check and question my whole life.
Hashtag beautiful idiot.
Oh, Nikki, I'm fucking right there with you.
I think that is so funny.
And we have all made one of those gaffes of like a classic saying
that you've misheard your whole life.
I would love if people could put in the episode thread for today
whatever they've been saying wrong, like saying said wrong the whole time
or like a really classic music lyric or something
because they send me every time and how good for a Friday.
Apparently, I've been saying, you know when you're at a buffet
and you go to the Bay of Maria?
Apparently.
Where do you go?
The Bay of Maria.
So apparently I've been saying this wrong the whole time.
Yeah, Bay of Maria.
Where am I getting the A's from then?
Mate, I don't know.
Is it Bain-Marie?
Maybe it was Italian all you can eat.
Ask Maria first.
So Bridget and I stayed in a hotel ages ago.
And again, the hotel breakfast.
And you're like, oh, they've got those mushrooms in the Bain-Marie.
And she's like.
The Bain-Marie.
Oh, my God.
And then yesterday.
You know the song Ave Maria?
Bain-Marie. Oh, my God. And then yesterday. You know the song Ave Maria? Ave Maria.
So we've been influenced by Tony Lodge.
Did you mention the other week that you'd bought a foot spa?
I bought a foot massager, not a wet one.
It's like a hot shiatsu one.
Okay, so we went to a department store yesterday to see if we could get a little foot spa.
Why?
Because I've been influenced by Tony Locke.
Oh, I just got mine on Amazon.
Well, because we're going away this weekend
and we want to take it away.
You can just get them from Big W and they're like $30.
Yeah, I mean, we didn't go to the expensive end of town yesterday.
But as we were going through the home appliance section,
I was like, oh, look, they've got these little home Bayer Marias.
And even the girl at work there looked at Bridget
and Bridget looked at the lady and just shook her head
and was just like, don't fucking.
Those home Bayer Marias.
The girl working there is probably called Maria.
She's like, where am I going?
Where are you taking me?
Bayer Maria to Bayer 44, Maria.
I was like, where am I going?
Where are you taking me?
Bay of Maria to Bay of 44, Maria.
My love to see it is we worked and recorded this podcast every Saturday for about 11 months.
Then as soon as we got out of Saturdays, I had university on the weekends.
Yes.
Today, Friday the 12th of August, for-huh. For the first time in a year.
Yeah.
I don't have work or university on the weekend.
Woo!
And my wife, Bridget, and I, partner, are going away for the weekend.
Yay!
And you best believe we're taking a foot spa.
Because it's really classy.
Really classy.
The height of romance.
We got a cheap Airbnb down the Great Ocean Road.
First playing along at home.
Two hour drive out of Melbourne.
And it's in between towns.
So there's like no one else around.
So you're literally just like on your own.
On your own.
And I just said, I just want to open fire.
Oh, yeah.
So we're on top of this cliff.
Open fire.
Foot massager.
I am not moving.
What else is there?
Yeah. Honestly, what else is there? Yeah, honestly,
what else is there? Fuck, that's
going to be, you must be so excited. I am excited.
And Bridget must be very excited to have her husband
back as well.
She's like, oh, you coming?
Yeah, well, she was like,
what am I going to do? I'll get
a foot spa.
She turns it up really loud, so she can't
hear you. Did you say something mate?
No.
Yeah I was just
saying
but no I am
excited and Bridget's
excited too.
Well make sure
that you drive safe
down there.
I was actually
planning on
diving dangerously.
That was a shit
thing to say.
That was just
a nice way
to finish the show.
It was.
It was.
It was a good show
until I ruined it.
Wow.
Hey, I was pumping you up.
Remember the good times?
Remember you and me back in the day like eight minutes ago when I was saying how good a present
you were?
Bye, everyone, except for Ryan.
You've ruined this.
How?
I said like a nice thing that you say to people when they're going away.
I will.
Thanks, mate.
All right.
We'll drive safe.
I will.
Yeah, have a great weekend.
All right.
Bye, everyone.
Love you.
Bye.