Toni and Ryan - Toni's Audition
Episode Date: March 19, 2023FINALLY - THE DAY IS HERE! My audition for the National Girls Youth Choir! How did I go?! Love ya. Toni xox Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group!... Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to the podcast. My name is Ryan. Tony Lodge is here. We are calling Ontario, which
is a bit of a flavour of the month, I reckon.
Yeah, lots of Canadians at the Mo.
And we're calling... Is that the Mo?
Yeah.
Am I too old? Could I get away with that?
At the moment?
Yeah. I think I'm too old to say Mo.
Oh, I don't think it's like a cool new thing. I've always said that. Like, I've said that
forever. My sisters say it and thing. I've always said that. Like I've said that forever. Really?
My sisters say it and stuff, yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
I don't think I've ever.
Have you said?
Really?
But it's not like a new thing that I've picked up on TikTok or anything.
It's like an old person thing to say.
You could say to me, yeah, no, it's a cool thing that like us young kids are doing
and I'd have to believe you.
Well, you'd believe me because I've got Riz.
See?
This is Frankie.
Fuck, I forgot about Riz.
I wanted it to be my year of Riz and it really didn't work out for me.
It's not.
No, it didn't, did it?
No.
Hello?
Hey, is that Frankie?
Yes.
Hey, it's Tony Ryan.
How you doing?
I'm good.
How are you guys?
We're good, Frankie.
Where have we caught you?
What are you up to?
I just got back in from grocery shopping.
Will you approve this episode?
I will.
Woo!
Yeah! Hey, it's Frankie from Hamilton, Ontario, and I approve this episode? I will. Woo! Yeah!
Hey, it's Frankie from Hamilton, Ontario, and I approve this podcast.
All right, coming up today.
Happy Monday.
Welcome.
You're going to not just hear about,
you're going to hear Tony Lodge's audition with the National Girls Youth Choir.
We're going into the lion's den.
Into the lion's den.
Yes.
You're going to hear the audition.
You're going to hear the, would you say there was great chemistry
between you and the judges?
I wouldn't say that? Don't answer that.
Don't answer that.
Oh, okay.
But we're about to hear, apart from the audition and will she get in
and will she not, like, we've heard for years that you used to sing
when you were younger.
People who know you from the Jason Peejay show,
you were called Tona Roddy because of Pavarotti, the big opera singer.
So you're going to hear Tony Lodge and her beautiful voice
coming up this episode.
I'm glad that we got that out of the way before I had COVID
because there's no way I would be able to do anything now.
Yeah.
I could barely talk.
Yep.
I'm really nervous for everyone to hear anyway we
get to that uh but first every school had these things growing up uh people have been sending in
their messages i feel like there's so much stuff that happens in high school that it's just normal
because you don't know any different and it's not till you get a bit older you go actually now i
think about it's pretty fucking weird hey yeah josh that you go, actually, now I think about it. That's pretty fucking weird, eh?
Yeah.
Josh Zimmerman, how weird is it to think as an adult that in primary school
you'd, like, run a mile during PE wearing straight clothes
and then just, like, go straight to maths?
Yeah.
Like, I'd bring you runners.
You're like, no, okay.
Guess we're just running.
Did you have a, oh, you went to a real chill school.
Did you have like a sport uniform?
Yeah, well, in primary school, it was just a regular primary school,
and we had this thing called the fitness track at Alphamise Primary School,
and it was like, it was probably like 700 metres,
where we'd like go down this hill, then up this massive hill and around.
It was basically a tour of the whole school campus.
Oh, like a cross-country thing.
Yeah.
And so before every PE class, it would be like, do a lap of theilling around. It was basically a tour of the whole school campus. Oh, like a cross-country thing. Yeah. And so before every PE class, it would be like do a lap
of the fitness track.
And like the thought of doing it.
That makes me want to throw up.
If we did it now, the hill at the start just really separates
because you're straight into this hill and you're just like,
fuck, I'm cooked.
And the thought of that now.
I want to be sick.
I used to, I was obviously was obviously i mean you can tell probably from my body shape that i was the kid that you know always had a sore ankle or tell
me well we know you've always got a sore ankle because you're always falling out because i'm
always actually falling over yeah that's not a thing you said that's the thing it's really true
um and whenever we had to do cross country like my sports teacher, Mr Harwood, would be like,
yeah, Tone, what is it this week kind of thing.
What is it this week, sweetheart?
Yeah, right, I may take a seat over there.
And there'd obviously be times where, you know,
like every couple of weeks I'd be able to get out of it,
but most times I'd have to do it.
And I'd just cry.
I'd just run and cry.
I'd be running the cross country and I fucking hated it.
Like it just made me so anxious and so upset because I was so slow
and so unfit.
Ultimately, obviously, if I'd just done it,
it wouldn't have been so bad.
But our cross country, so you know how you just said that,
like that first hill would separate the winners and the losers kind of thing.
Ours started with a lap around our oval.
And if you already had to have a break, so you're on the oval,
everyone can see you.
At least when you're in cross country.
You're through the hills and the trails.
You're in the bush.
You're in Nomadland.
Of the school, so you're kind of like no one can see anyway.
But you start on the oval, so everybody's watching.
And if you already stopped to walk on that oval,
you're not sitting with the cool kids.
No.
When I was in Toowoomba, I played footy.
Oh, yeah?
Like how old would you have been?
Oh, 27, 28.
That's cool.
And...
You know, when last year we talked about that renegade...
We're doing it this year.
Yeah, I really want to.
So we'll start training, mate.
Write that down, producer Cam.
We're doing it. And you're playing as well, Cam.
I'd love to.
Yeah.
Sweaty men.
Or maybe we should.
He's a fucking liability.
He's fucking gross.
When you do something that's like called a warm-up
and then you're like, I've done the warm-up,
and then you're like, cool, now that we're warm,
and you're like, no, no, no.
Not only am I warm, I'm hot and come back again.
I'm actually done.
I feel great after that.
Thank you so much.
I might have to stretch some cold water and hit the showers.
Or they go like at the end of the warm-up and they go, cool,
you should be feeling like your heart rate rising a little bit now.
And you go, my heart rate was rising when I was trying to find a spot
on the mat.
Like before the music even started.
My heart was racing walking to school knowing I had PE today.
Yes, yes.
Andrea, I can't believe I spent 11 years of my life asking teachers
if I was allowed to go to the bathroom.
To the toilet.
What kind of fucked up thing is it?
And sometimes they would say no.
I think everybody had one of those teachers that you'd go,
oh, miss, can I please go to the bathroom?
And they'd go, no, just had recess.
And you go, oh, well, I didn't need to go then.
They go, well, I can't bloody go to the toilet while I'm supposed
to be teaching.
Did you have that teacher?
First of all, Miss Byrne, you can.
You can.
No one's actually stopping.
If you said, boys and girls, could I go to the toilet?
No one would say no.
And Miss Byrne, I'm actually not going to find out for 22 more years,
but I've actually got ibs yeah yeah and i will shit myself if you don't let
me move so i had this thing um with one of my teachers mr darling where i think there was a
bit of like if they trust you not to take the piss no pun intended yeah um it's fine but they
kind of just skip like if a troublemaker goes can i go to the toilet yeah well fuck we're never
gonna see him for the rest of the day yeah he's he's obviously wandering around, causing a ruckus.
You build the trust a little bit.
You know when you walk past a classroom and you look through the window?
Yeah, to give him a wave.
Oh, what are you guys learning?
Not me.
Yeah, see you at lunch.
So I didn't ask Mr. Darling if I could go.
I'd just get up and just walk out the door and just go,
let's go to the bathroom, like on the way past.
I didn't even get a chance.
And he'll be like, yeah, I know he's coming back.
But then the teachers that are real bitches,
and this is what Andrew has always pointed out,
is that sometimes they're like you need a pass.
Yeah.
What the fuck is a pass?
At high school, my high school.
The smallest piece of paper off of – oh, let me just sign it.
At my high school, at Lumen Christi College in Martin,
actually Gosnell's child out in Perth, we had to,
we had a school diary and you could not walk around
without your organiser.
Really?
Like you had to have your organiser on you at all times.
And if you went to the bathroom during class or whatever,
your teacher was supposed to sign your organiser and then if you were walking to the bathroom during class or whatever, your teacher was supposed to sign your organiser
and then if you were walking to the bathroom or whatever,
a teacher could go, like, where's your organiser?
Show me your thing.
To say that your current timetable teacher had signed off.
Yes.
Yeah, and your timetable would be in there and, like, whatever.
Is that one of the most fucked thing ever?
It's like a driver's licence but, like, licence to wee.
Like, so ridiculous.
It sounds like a shit James Bond knockoff.
The porn version.
License to pee.
Marcus, this actually fucking does me in because we both got up early
for many years doing Breakfast Radio,
but I'd still say we're not natural morning people per se.
Like we can get up early, but we need to warm up.
I would say that the desire to start early and finish early outweighs
the need, you know what I mean?
Yeah, yep.
I think both of us are like, oh, getting up early, not ideal.
Oh, but how good is finishing early?
Yeah, no, I'll agree with that.
Yeah.
Marcus said, there was once a punch on at the bus stop
before school one day.
Oh.
The thought of me having the energy to open an email before 8am
is hard enough, but having the energy to fight some guy in the morning,
that's enough from me.
That's such a good point.
What were they up to?
Bro, fucking step in the middle of you and you're like,
hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, not till I've had my coffee, son.
Yeah, they'd had their up and go and they were ready to fight.
The original up and go. Yeah. The up and come at coffee, son. Yeah, they'd had their up and go and they were ready to fight. The original up and go.
Yeah.
The up and come at me, bro.
More like I'm watching Jersey Shore at the moment.
Okay.
You're a bit hot.
You're coming in hot.
Yeah.
Bit of GTL?
Yeah, nice.
Yes.
Oh, he's a great meme.
High school teachers.
Oh, lots of students are depressed.
Also high school teachers.
It's 8am.
Let's watch Schindler's List.
All right, great.
Have a nice day, everyone.
Yeah, for our fucking literature book this year,
we're reading the most graphic shit ever.
Oh, that's fine.
Okay, cool.
Off to maths you go.
I actually need time to digest what I've seen in my soul.
In year 10 English, we watched the movie AI.
You know the movie AI?
It's got like Hayley Joel Osment in it and it's like actually fucked.
It's really heavy and the movie goes for about three hours.
So it took us weeks to watch it.
Yeah, like because you watch 20 minutes and then the bell goes
and then whatever.
to watch it. Yeah, like because you watch 20 minutes and then the bell goes
and then whatever.
And it was like so harrowing, to use your word,
so harrowing watching that movie.
And then right at the end, spoilers, the movie came out like 30 years ago,
like he and his mum both die and it's like actually really,
it's like a really sad movie.
And then the bell goes like, cool, we'll have to run a mile.
Yeah, get your cross country ready.
No, I was crying while I was running.
What is it this week, Tony?
Oh, a scary film.
Yeah, we watched the saddest movie.
They're like, yeah, fucking turn it up, bitch.
Take it off now.
Did you guys read To Kill a Mockingbird?
Okay, it's not To Kill a Mockingbird.
It's To Kill a Mockingbird.
And yes, we did.
What's it called?
To Kill a Mockingbird.
It's not To Kill a Mockingbird. That is a cocktail recipe book. Is it? To Kill a Mockingbird. And yes, we did. What's it called? To Kill a Mockingbird. It's not To Kill a Mockingbird.
That is a cocktail recipe book.
Is it?
To Kill a Mockingbird.
Maybe I've read that one.
Torbs and I haven't.
Maybe that's why my English essays were so different to the rest of the class.
You're like, oh, Patron, okay.
The way he squeezed the lime into the glass.
Muddle my glass.
So I've got here a BuzzFeed quiz.
Oh.
And it says, guess what you were like in high school.
What were you like in high school?
I was a fucking loser.
Well, let's find out if it's BuzzFeed official.
You're a loser status.
I can fucking save you a quiz, mate.
Dude, I definitely was.
All right, school's over.
What are you doing?
Is it time to study?
Is it singing and dancing?
Is it shopping?
Is it going to sports practice?
Is it snacking or is it scrolling through social media?
I'll say singing and dancing because after school on Tuesdays,
Wednesdays and Thursdays I had band or choir.
Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays.
Yeah, and then on, sorry, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays
and then on Thursdays I had ballet.
Fuck, every day something on.
What was your favourite class?
Is it A, nothing, I hate school?
Is it B, science?
Is it C, theatre?
Is it D, maths?
Is it E, PE?
What comes after E?
Is it H, English?
I guess English or theatre.
I don't want to sway the jury, but I will go theatre.
Oh.
How do you dress?
Something cute but comfortable.
This isn't appropriate because I had to wear a uniform.
Cheerleader uniform.
Oh.
Sweats.
Something eye-catching.
A graphic T-shirt or nothing special.
We had to wear a uniform.
What about after school though?
Or just on the weekends?
After school, what was it?
Cute and practical.
Something cute and comfortable?
Yeah, cute and comfortable.
Okay.
Pick something to eat for breakfast.
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, bananas, veggies, fruit,
smoothies or anything and everything. Probably banana.
Who do you sit with at lunch?
My crush?
My teammates?
The cool kids?
The theatre kids?
My friends or just my best friend?
Probably my friends.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Were they also theatre kids?
Were they all your friends in the band and orchestra and ballet?
Nah, they weren't really those friends.
Okay.
How would your friends describe you?
you? Smart, passionate, kind, talented, sassy, or adventurous?
Passionate or kind, I reckon. Wasn't that smart. Not that talented. Definitely not adventurous. I wasn't sassy then.
If you had a crush on someone, what would you do?
Nothing.
Let them come to me.
Or this might be it.
Say absolutely nothing.
Write a song for them.
Write a love letter.
Ask them out in a really cute and public way.
That's disgusting.
Just hang out with them and test the waters.
I guess say nothing.
Say nothing.
I guess.
Or write a song but never perform it.
Like, it's just for me.
Favourite colour?
Green, red, blue, white, purple, pink.
Blue.
What's the last thing you search for on the internet?
Is it a music video? Is it the internet? Is it a music video?
Is it sports results?
Is it a homework question?
Is it my crush's socials?
Remember, this is when you're in high school.
An online store or I'm not telling.
It's a secret.
It would have been like MySpace or Tumblr.
I was super into Tumblr back in the day.
I'll put that on my crush's socials.
Yeah, I'd say socials, I guess.
Last one.
Mm-hmm.
Which nickname would your friends most likely give you?
Babe, Regina George, Ace, Jet, Einstein or Drama Queen?
Drama Queen.
My God, easy.
Oh, my God.
This is strange considering the last answer.
You're a plastic.
No, I'm not.
You're one of the most popular kids in your school.
Oh, those quizzes are wrong.
Either everyone's crushing on you or wants to be your friend.
You're quite striking, dramatic and, of course, sassy.
Did it listen to any of the answers I gave it?
We should call BuzzFeed.
There's something wrong.
We should call BuzzFeed.
Get him on the phone.
Get him on the phone.
Give him a buzz.
Feed.
Hey, it's Frankie from Hamilton, Ontario,
and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
Thank you so much for being part of it.
You can check it out at the link in our show notes.
We do, like, a live stream once a month for Champion Tarpers.
We do my blog, my weekly blog.
It's also where everybody can apply to approve the pod.
So all the phone calls you hear at the beginning of the podcast and the little bit you just heard then, that's all from our Patreon.
A few people in there.
Erica Keeney, thank you so much.
Justin Posnasky, Diana Cripps, Megan Hartage, Victoria Farrow
and Hannah Damo.
Thank you so much for being part of it.
We fucking love to see it.
Hannah Damo.
Damo.
All right, we were just talking about being in high school
and school when we were younger.
I want everyone to have a think about when they were at school,
what did they want to do when they were older?
What was their dream? What did you really want to do when they were older? What was their dream?
What did you really want to do more than anything else in this world?
Smooth, yeah.
Because for Tony Lodge, captain of the school choir,
it was to be in the Australian youth choir.
To be in the Qantas ad.
Yeah, that was like a stepping stone, to be in the Qantas ad.
So in Australia, the Qantas airline have these really iconic ads
where they sing I Still Call Australia Home.
And they're filmed like in the desert, at the beach,
on the Brooklyn Bridge, in Paris, you know, at the pyramids.
And they're like beautifully shot.
Like you almost cry every time you watch it.
They're so beautifully made and beautifully shot.
And when the plane lands still now on a Qantas flight
and when you're boarding, they play that song like over the speakers.
It's emotional, isn't it?
And you're like on it and you just feel patriotic.
Like immediately you feel like, oh, my God, I love my country.
So we found out that Tony's mum, bless her soul, rest in peace.
Rest in peace, mum, love you.
Is a filthy liar.
Yeah.
Because she lied to Tony and said
actually, Tony, girls from Western Australia
can't be in the choir because you have to be on the East Coast.
I'm sorry. Yeah, they film all of the
ads on the East Coast.
So there's just sweet, I'm so sorry
like, you know. It turns out our friend
Lauren, who also lived in Western Australia, was
in one of those ads. She was in one of those ads, yeah.
And then we put two and two together. And it never really added up
until we were actually doing this podcast and I was like, oh, but like I could never be in it because X, Y, Z, we were both like, Loz was in one of those ads. She was in one of those ads, yeah. And then we put two and two together. And it never really added up until we were actually doing this podcast
and I was like, oh, but like I could never be in it because XYZ,
we were both like, Loz was in it.
And then we were like.
So how old do you turn this year?
30.
I'm 30 this year.
Tony's turning 30 this year.
And we thought, hey, better late than never.
Yep.
Start the fucking blog.
Start the fucking blog.
Cam and I have been going back and forth,
but we finally arranged for you to have an audition
with the National Girls Youth Choir.
And so last week you would have heard the audio of me kind of about to go in.
Yep.
And I was pretty nervous.
You were quite nervous.
I was fucking really nervous actually.
Yep.
And yeah.
Carmel came.
Carmel did come in.
Yeah.
Who was lovely, by the way.
All the tarpers.
I mean, she was lovely, but it was obviously like a power,
like a weird power dynamic between the two of us.
What are you saying?
What do you mean?
Well, I really wanted to impress her and was like trying to be very professional
and she looked very professional.
She was in a lovely snappy pants suit.
She did look professional. Yeah. She was really. lovely snappy pantsuit. She did look professional.
Yeah, she was really.
Would you say that she.
She was there for business.
She was there for business.
Would you say she looked like she didn't want to have her time wasted?
Yeah.
She looked like she was a bit like I've got places to be.
She did have places to be.
But, you know, like you could tell from her energy that she,
there was a million things that she had to do that day
and that was just one thing.
Okay.
So.
Well, you would say that, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
Yeah.
So we put it to a vote in Patreon and the Tarp has voted
that you would be singing Since You've Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson
and also Pie Jester.
What's the song?
P.A.A. Zoo.
P.A.A. Zoo because that's like one that is, I guess,
traditional to show off what you can do in the operatic circles.
And because I wanted to show that we were taking it seriously as well.
Okay.
So what you're about to hear is the raw audio.
You're coming in with us.
Coming into the room.
Enjoy Tony Lodge's audition for the National Girls Youth Choir.
What's wrong?
My dress was just like in my knickers.
Hello, Carmel.
Hi, Tony.
Hello, how are you?
How are you?
Thank you so much for coming.
No, thank you.
Did you want to just let me know why it is that you want to be part
of the National Girls Youth Choir?
So not just because I want to be in the Qantas ad,
but I love art of all forms.
I've always enjoyed being a singer.
I was the choir captain at my high school,
and so I'm very passionate about voice,
and I think that I'd be a real asset to the children's choir.
You think you'd be a good fit then? That's why you think you'd be a good fit?
Yes. I think that I've got the talent and drive to be part of the National Girls Youth Choir.
Okay. So what's the first song you're going to sing?
Since You've Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson.
Okay. And is there a reason that you chose this song?
I thought it'd be a good audition, classic audition song because it's in pitch perfect
and a bit of a crowd pleaser as well. I thought that maybe people, rouse the crowd,
you know, thought that'd be good. Okay. When you're ready.
Great. Let's hear it.
Here's the thing, we started out friends. It was cool but it was all pretend. Yeah, yeah.
Since you've been gone. You dedicated, you took the time. Wasn't long till I called you mine yeah yeah since you've been gone and all breathe for the first time I'm so moving on
thanks to you now I get what I want since you've been gone. Okay, yes.
Okay, cool.
So what's your next song?
My next song is Pia Yezu, the Gabrielle Foray arrangement
of Pia Yezu.
It's my go-to audition piece back in the day,
so I'm really proud of it.
When you're ready.
Thank you. Thank you. is
Oh Pia eis, Pia eis, dona eis, sem pita nam requiem. Sem pita nam requiem. I was very nervous.
That was beautiful.
I guess the only thing I want to just clarify with you is what is your age?
29.
29.
Yeah.
Okay.
With the girls' choir, we are recruiting between 10 and 16.
You're aware of that?
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I thought maybe there was like a special.
Admissions.
Yeah.
Like for highly skilled girls or something.
I think we'll probably have to have a little chat about it.
Okay.
Maybe let you know.
Yeah.
That sounds really good.
Okay.
Thank you so much.
Thanks, Kamala.
Thank you.
No worries.
Thanks for your time.
So now that it's all said and done, Toni, how do you think you went?
It was a bit pitchy, wasn't it, at points?
I was trying to do my best.
I was very nervous.
You can hear how nervous I was, eh?
Yeah.
You can actually hear the nerves in my voice.
Yeah.
I'm proud of you.
You did a really good job.
To be fair, during Callie Clarkson, I was, I wouldn't say nervous.
It was a bit of a bait and switch from me.
Oh, so it was a deliberate ploy.
Didn't you think so?
Oh.
Well, yeah, because I was like, obviously it's like not.
And because I could kind of feel her going like,
what a waste of fucking time.
Could you feel me pissing myself in the corner of the room?
I could not look at anyone.
I didn't even look at Carmel.
I looked above her and, like, away.
I wonder you guys didn't have a connection.
And then, well, because I couldn't look her in the eye
because I was like, and then with the second one,
I had to read my sheet music.
So I was, like, had an excuse to.
I was pissing myself during the first.
I couldn't look at any of you because I was just so nervous.
I was also feeling very vulnerable. You would have fucking lost it if you because I was just so nervous. I was also very vulnerable.
You would have fucking lost it if you had a scene,
Cam and I, because we were almost crying.
Because I was doing a beautiful job.
But the second one, I think everyone who's just listened,
I mean, they're mopping up their cars right now because all the tears
that are in there.
It was beautiful.
Thank you.
It was beautiful.
That's lovely.
I actually really appreciate that.
That's impressive.
Were you expecting it to be that good, Cam?
I was actually, yes. That's lovely. I actually really appreciate that. That was impressive. Were you expecting it to be that good, Cam? I was actually, yes.
Oh, okay, yeah.
Were you thinking like, oh, this is going to be fun?
To be honest, I just didn't know because, again, we've never heard it.
Yeah.
We keep hearing about it.
Yeah.
But we've never heard it.
And then, like I said, maybe it was the bait and switch.
But after Kelly Clarkson, I was like, fuck, Carmel's coming.
Like, yeah, it's taken a while to organise this.
How am I going to tell Tony that that was all right?
You know, when someone shows you something they're really proud of
and you go, fuck, what am I going to say?
It's great, babe.
Yeah, wow, you should be proud.
But you should be proud because you were great.
We do have an email from the National Girls Youth Choir.
I, like, I don't know if you remember this, Ryan,
but after, like, Carmel had left, we'd left,
we weren't there anymore. Like, and you said, Tony, I don't know that you haven't gotten in,
is what you said to me. And I thought, nah, you obviously just like gassed me up a bit.
And then I thought about it at home and I was like, I actually like should probably start
practising my Qantas song because I think I've really nailed that.
I wouldn't disagree.
I thought it was no chance and when Karma left I was like.
Actually.
We could be fucking on here.
We don't know, you know, and so I'm going home and I'm like,
what white blouse can I wear in my Qantas ad?
Surely they'd provide that.
I don't know.
Well, I bought six online, six different ones.
They're not going to send you to the pyramids to film a thing
and then you turn up in a Rip Curl t-shirt and you go, yeah.
Then they go, oh, I assumed you'd supply a white shirt.
Oh, sorry.
Where's hair and makeup?
Where's my trailer?
We've spent the budget flying you over here, sweetheart.
All you can do is wheel out a white Target t-shirt.
Yeah, surely pop down to Target on the way.
Target country.
Yes.
You know.
They still exist, by the way.
Shout out to Target country in Ararat, which I frequented when I lived in the.
Yeah, right.
And that was like, oh, you're going uptown.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, no, no.
Oh, you're going somewhere nice.
You're going somewhere nice.
Better go to Tiger Country and get yourself a crisp white shirt.
Oh, well, that's where I'll be going.
We got an email from the National Girls Youth Choir.
From Carmel herself?
Oh.
It doesn't say.
Oh.
A form email.
Thank you for your interest in the Girls Youth Choir.
It's from admin at like, yeah.
Oh, that's not good.
Read me the whole email.
Ryan, Cam and Tony.
Carmen.
I kept saying her name wrong on the day, but I tried.
Not that that put her in a bad mood.
Was it Carmel?
What did you call her?
Yeah, it was Carmel.
I said Carmen a few times.
Oh, Ryan.
We needed to be able.
I know, I know.
I had to sing two songs and you couldn't get someone's fucking name right.
I sang in Latin and you just had to get her fucking name right.
I was speaking in Latin as well, but she didn't appreciate it.
Oh, God.
Carmel, we'd like to thank you for allowing her to witness Tony sing.
You're more than welcome, Carmel.
Thanks for coming.
Unfortunately, at this stage,
we don't have a place for Tony in the choir this year.
Thanks for your interest.
All the best with future endeavours.
Is there a colder sentence than all the best with future endeavours?
They were nice about it.
I think they appreciated that you put your best foot forward.
I'm really upset.
All you can do is...
See, that's why don't try.
Don't try anything because it'll just fucking turn to shit. All you can do is all you can that's why I don't try. Don't try anything because it'll just fucking turn to shit.
All you can do is all you can do and that's what you did.
Just try my best.
You did try your best.
I have to send back the six shirts to Target Country.
I don't know if Target Country do refunds.
I don't think they do returns.
In fact, there is no chance now Target Country does returns.
I can't get back to Ararat.
There's no way.
Do you feel...
I'm devastated right now. I don't know if you can tell. I'm devastated right now.
I don't know if you can tell.
I'm holding back tears.
I just really thought that it went really well.
It did go really well.
And they haven't specified reasons.
But if we were to like...
Say if we were to chop it up percentage wise,
what percentage do you think was your ability
and what percentage was your inability to be between 10 and 16 years old?
That's a great point.
I mean, surely it's 100% age related, not ability related.
I'd say 70-30.
All right.
That's fucking a bit brutal.
That's okay.
It's not 50-50.
Yeah. Nah, I guess not. I imagine if they That's okay. It was on 50-50. Yeah.
Nah, I guess not.
Imagine if they were like, we're actually into 30-year-old chicks now,
but she just sucked 100%.
100% ability base.
Nah, like I think it's fair to say your age didn't help.
Yeah.
And because obviously.
And you can live with that.
You can accept that, right?
I can accept that, yeah.
It's not like she said you were shit.
She was like, thanks for letting us see Tony sing.
Yeah.
Thanks for letting us see Tony sing is more probably how I read it.
So last week on the show we heard that Ben Twigg is starting
to write his own fantasy novel.
What's one saying that's been growing momentum on the pod?
Start the fucking blog.
I should start my own children's choir.
I don't think that's what I was getting at.
Okay.
Okay.
Open my own target country.
Right here in the city.
Who would have saw that coming
Bend the rules
I think the underlying
Theme of start the fucking blog is
Don't wait for someone else to pick you
You pick you
Yes
You know what we should do
I oh my god
Everyone shut the fuck up
Shut up is what I said.
Let's film the Qantas ad.
I'll just do it myself.
I'll keep the shirts from Target Country.
I've already returned them.
But get them again.
We're going back to Ararat.
That's what we'll do.
Fuck Carmel, lovely girl.
I'm just kidding.
No, but like, fuck those people that said no.
No, not fuck Carmel, but you know what I mean.
Like fuck them.
Just say no.
Sorry, no.
Thanks for your decision.
Thank you for being here.
Yeah.
Fuck Carmel.
Sorry, not like.
No, you're in the.
But like fuck the man, you know.
Patriarchy.
Yes, sure. And I'll just. Patriarchy. Yes, sure.
And I'll just do it myself.
Fuck big choir.
I'll take a GoPro around Australia and I'll record my own.
Start the fucking vlog.
I love it.
I've got to recover from COVID, though, as well.
Yeah.
We'll give it a – yeah, there's no hurry.
I'll need a couple – wait.
Yeah, no, we'll give you a couple weeks. Yeah, we'll give it a, well, yeah, there's no hurry. I'll need a couple, oh, wait. Yeah, we'll give you a couple.
Yeah, thanks.
I love this.
I love this.
I love this energy.
Who, yeah, who are they, the purveyor of fucking choir videos?
Who decides?
I decide.
You decide.
You're running this ship.
You make the rules.
Do you think that Qantas will fund me, you know, like going about or?
I doubt it.
But I do think in the spirit of start the fucking.
In the spirit of Australia.
We don't need anyone else.
No.
Permission.
Yeah.
Tony says yes, so it's on.
Oh, yeah.
Love that.
Yeah.
Let's fucking do it.
Oh, my God. Fuck, i'm so revved up oh
my god we're gonna where are we gonna go everywhere we get to go and no yep we'll rebuild the pyramids
for this video oh okay can we go to all the room um yeah we'll have to check the budget okay
what do we have any budget yeah we'll have to check well we'll use the earnings from the target
country i've just opened let's just feel good about this idea. Let's get to the logistics later.
Okay.
Let's just keep this.
Let's not be bogged down by details.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Great.
Great.
Great.
Great.
Oh my God.
I'm so excited.
All right.
I've got you love to see it.
Is it that I'm going to start my own blog and do the Qantas ad myself?
Two you love to see it.
Love it.
Yep.
First one is that obviously.
The second one I would describe as big Torb's energy.
Big Torb's energy?
And it's from Megan.
Today I bought my
first car.
I'm so proud of myself.
Now all I need to do is get a driver's licence.
Okay.
So it's a burn on my boyfriend.
So a lot of people
in the comments
are
like, I would say
still supportive
but also like
I think you've got the order
around the wrong way
a little bit.
Like maybe
How old's Megan as well?
If I were to look
at this picture
I would say
she'd be
mid-twenties.
Okay.
So it's not like
17 straight out the gate
but I would have thought
Buying your own car though
that's huge.
I remember getting my first car.
I had a red Hyundai Getz, three-door.
Three-door?
Uh-huh.
Jeez, how's the insurance on that?
What?
You know what?
I don't know if it was a myth, but it was like if it had two doors,
it was considered a sports car and the insurance was big.
Oh, really?
So everyone had to get a shitty...
I mean, it was like 1.6 litre.
Like, it wasn't very...
I think it looks like a red Honda, I guess.
Oh, my God.
What if it's the same one?
But would you, at age 25, maybe consider getting a driver's licence first?
Yeah, I guess so.
Or maybe where Megan lived, she didn't need one.
Maybe she's moved to the country or something.
She's bush bashing.
Yeah, she's moved to the target country.
Yeah, actually, I'm looking.
It's definitely like Midwest US kind of, actually I'm looking. Definitely like Midwest
US kind of vibes. I love that.
I think congrats.
In the, yeah, I think Mrs. Yeah. Yep.
And she'll pass her test very
soon. Yeah, or not. Just drive fast.
My love to see is from Leah Marie in our
Tony Ryan Facebook
group. Sorry,
the COVID's coming in. We're almost at the end of the episode.
Leah says, I work in finance and I reached a personal best in loans settled in Feb.
Like, so, you know, did the most work.
Met the KPIs.
I don't have a real job.
Hit them targets.
And I get paid commission for each settlement on top of my salary.
So you get your base rate and then everything else that you get.
And then you get like a bonus for being the most.
So you're getting bonuses on your bonuses.
I think you get like a commission.
Yeah.
And then if you're the best or like you do the most,
then you get a bonus on top of that.
I recently got engaged.
Congratulations.
So that money is kickstarting our wedding savings.
Yeah.
Oh, and I got an award for it at our first day of the month office meeting.
Fuck yeah.
That's what Leah said.
Congrats.
Leah?
Yeah.
Killing it.
So good.
Killing it.
How do you reckon you'd go in a job that was like commission-y based?
Because for me, I find that terrifying.
Like to walk in and look on the wall and you've got your name
and there's a number and it's like, oh, you're going to meet budget.
I'd be like, it would do me in.
I'd hate it.
I don't think I would really like it either.
And because I like being secure, so I wouldn't want my,
like whether I could pay rent that week to be based on how well I did,
you know?
Yeah, sales often get painted with like sleazy salesman, but like, fuck, it would be.
It would be a hard job.
Yeah.
And I'm just not good at selling stuff.
Like I'm not a good salesman.
Sell me this juice I've got.
It's half empty.
No, it's half full.
You are a terrible salesman.
And stop coughing on the customers, for God's sake.
This is a lovely juice.
It's a beautiful glass bottle.
And the great thing about it is that when you finish the juice,
you could reuse this bottle for flowers and such.
Would you like to buy it?
Yep.
I'm in the market for a vase, so it's like a vase with a free juice.
Great, there you go.
See, you're good at this.
That's $300.
Oh, how many do I get for that?
One.
But I need to pay rent.
I haven't sold any other juice this week.
I keep telling people it's half empty.
Yeah.
All right.
We will chat.
You rest up, mate.
Thank you, mate.
Yeah.
We'll chat to you tomorrow.
Love you.
Bye.