Toni and Ryan - Toni's Been Fired
Episode Date: May 30, 2023Look..... We MAY have spoken a little bit too soon. LOVE YA! Toni xoxoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @toni...lodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge and we are calling Mariah C.
That's all the intel I have.
I mean, all I want for Christmas.
Oh, I'll save this and I'll say, is you to approve the podcast? That's what I'll say.
Save it. Don't tell All right, save it.
Don't tell, no one tell it.
They are from Niagara Falls in Ontario, Canada.
Ooh.
They do have an occupation listed.
Should I say what it is or should we just?
I mean, I know what Mariah Carey does for work.
So I wouldn't worry.
Occupation.
Icon.
Diva.
Celebrity. Icon, diva, celebrity.
Hello?
Hi, Mariah.
Hi, Tony.
Hi, Ryan.
Hello.
So Mariah C., so obviously you're being like low key, but we wanted to know all we want for Christmasmas is you to approve the podcast of course i'll approve the
podcast hi this is mariah c from niagara Falls and I approve this podcast.
Yeah.
When did you announce that you've got a new job?
On the Friday episode. Okay. And you've got a new job? On the Friday episode.
Okay.
And you've got like a couple of funny things off this, eh?
And I've got a statement on behalf of you.
But we're all... No, no, no.
But it has to be very like positive and good because it's all fine.
Yeah.
All right.
Coming up on the show today.
Last Friday. Tony Lodge announced that she had a brand new job.
Yep.
And in fact, the episode was Tony has a new job.
It was a video show.
Everyone knows about it.
Actually, spoiler alert, read the title of today's episode.
Yeah.
Yep.
So it didn't take long.
That's a big spoiler, actually. It didn't take long. But we'll get to's episode. Yeah. Yep. So it didn't take long. That's a big spoiler, actually.
It didn't take long.
But we'll get to that soon.
Yeah.
You already know the story.
I'm glad everyone's having fun.
But first, would you say Succession this week finishing is similar-ish maybe to like a Game of Thrones, like a real TV moment in time?
I just have to say something.
Similar to Game of Thrones, I don't watch Succession.
But have you seen it pop up in your feed?
Are you feeling the heat from the outside?
100%.
So I just want to disclaimer, I haven't watched it.
But, yes, the hype, the memes, like there's just all this shit going on.
But I do feel like I got a bit left behind and then it was too late for me.
I was like that with Game of Thrones.
I've never seen more than three minutes of it because after it got to season two,
I'm like, whoa, it's too late now.
And then you kind of don't do it so that you don't do it.
You're like, oh, Game of Thrones, I never did that.
I'm actually better than that.
so that you don't do it.
You're like, oh, Game of Thrones, I never did that.
I'm actually better than that.
And so now I feel like with Succession, I don't feel like,
oh, I'm too cool for that.
I actually feel a bit left out.
But I feel like it's just too far back now.
Yeah, and well, the thing with Game of Thrones, right,
is they're like, oh, it takes the first five seasons to kind of get into it.
You know what I mean?
I'm like, no, no, no, you've got two minutes.
Hook me in the first scene, bro, or I'm out.
You said that about The Office US as well.
Remember you were like, it's just so awkward.
I'm like, yeah, but like that's kind of the show.
Oh, like I get it.
And it takes a bit though.
But I just ended up watching from the pantry because I just couldn't.
Yeah.
Did you say they're bringing out an Australian in The Office?
Yeah.
How do you feel about that?
So Magda, who plays Sharon on Kath and Kim,
she is supposed to be like the Steve Carell character, I think.
I saw a list of five names.
I didn't know.
Oh, is she not in it anymore?
So the update is that there was rumours it was going to be like Magda,
Judith Lucy, Kitty Flanagan, et cetera, but apparently now the leading woman is going to hail from New Zealand.
It's Lorde.
It's Lorde.
It's Jacinda.
Jacinda Ardern.
That's why she quit as Prime Minister, yeah.
I just saw that and went, oh.
They do all these remakes and you hope for the best.
You do.
And especially when it's a show you really like.
Because they did the Australian Taskmaster, of course, as well.
They've done a Kiwi one of those.
The Australian one was all right.
Nothing beats the original.
No, never does.
But, like, the Australian one was really good.
They're about to do another Kiwi.
Sorry, I'm totally derailing this.
They're about to do another Kiwi one.
Melanie Bracewell's just been announced for the new season of the Kiwi one.
As, like, a contestant.
Oh, okay, great.
Yeah.
Anyway, sorry.
So, Succession finished this week.
Yep.
I watched the first season.
Loved it.
Watched most of the second maybe a year later.
Enjoyed it.
Oh.
I reckon I saw bits of the third enough to like know how to start the fourth.
And this is the fourth and final season.
No, see, the thing that you do is that you like watch bits and pieces of stuff
and then you go and then someone goes
oh have you watched the new thing? And you go no don't say anything!
And it's like well
you're three seasons behind pretty
much. Yeah, so Cam, can you just
confirm, was the final season that just finished
ten episodes? Twelve? Yes, ten.
Ten episodes by four. Okay.
Ten episodes. I watched
the first three
episodes of the fourth season.. I watched the first three.
Episodes of the fourth season.
Yep.
And I watched the big one, which is the third, wasn't it?
I believe so, yes.
And I haven't watched one since.
And I think I'm just going to watch the finale this afternoon.
And I want to know how everyone feels ethically, artistically, morally.
Spoilery.
Am I ruining it for myself?
Because here's where I'm at.
The memes are everywhere.
Right?
Yeah, they are.
They are.
So I just want to be part of it.
I just want to be part of it.
Same.
Every time I see a meme pop up, I'm like, don't really bother me.
Because the whole thing of succession is like,
which one of the children is going to become the CEO?
Like, is going to succeed?
Oh, like the title suggests.
Yeah.
I understand.
So obviously there's great dialogue and great script,
but the reality is it's like, it's going to be one of four.
So who's it going to be?
So literally this week you find out which kid it is.
Yeah.
Oh, fuck, how have they strung that out over four seasons?
Did it start with seven kids and it was like they were killing each other off?
So as you can see, it's more like I'm just curious to know which one.
Yeah, right.
And then I'm like, oh, but will it make sense because I've just missed seven?
Because surely it's been building up to this, right?
But, I mean, if you know that they're called, like, Jill, Sally, Mork and Tyler.
Who's Mork?
Who the fuck is Mork?
My Mork and Mindy. Stork's sister?
Mork and Mindy.
But if you know that they're-
If it's Bing, Bong, Ding and Dong.
Oh.
Oh.
So I'm not allowed to say it?
Yes, that's how dumb you sound when you say it.
Well, I did real name sing, and look what happened.
I said Mork.
Real name.
Okay, here's the thing.
Jill, Sally, Mork, and Tyler.
Can we change Mork to Mark?
Jill, Sally, Mark, and Tyler.
If you ever go to say Mork ever again, when you get to the O of the M-O-R-K,
you're allowed to say ding dong again.
But only in those circumstances
okay oh she's putting her hand out to shake deal you just wanted to touch me yeah your hands are
warm um they're always warm okay yeah i'm a beautiful warm-hearted woman yeah anyway basically
if you know what they're called like then surely you could have watched the first episode
and gone okay one of them's gonna get. And then watch the last one and go, okay.
Yeah.
Turns out it was Carl.
Yeah.
It was Mork.
Mork one.
Mork Session.
Because I saw a meme the other day about Succession and I looked at it
and I laughed my head off and producer Kevin was like,
oh, what are you laughing at?
And I was like, I've just seen this meme about Succession.
He goes, you don't watch Succession.
And I went, yeah, but this is really funny and I think that you would like it
because you like Succession.
And I could see from what the meme was that it would be funny to someone
who liked it, but I still thought it was funny.
Okay, so when I saw you guys laughing at the Succession meme,
I was like, fuck, they're both up to date.
Oh, no. So you know how you said you wanted to feel part of it?
Yeah.
I thought you were.
Does that count as something?
That does.
Yeah.
I'm saving face.
I'll take that.
And then I went, oh, Ryan, you watched succession because I'd been hoodwinked.
I didn't know you'd only watched two halves of an episode.
And then I went, oh, you watched succession.
You went.
And I thought that you were only like one episode behind.
I didn't think that you were three seasons behind.
Yeah, but I could be up to date in an hour.
You know what I mean?
Was it on the pod?
And I can't remember whether it was or not.
That we talked about like people that read the last page of a book.
Yep.
Yes.
Yeah, it was.
Is that not?
Yeah.
And you said, I hate it when people do that.
You are effectively doing the exact same thing because you're going, well, I know that Jill,
Sally, Mork and Tyler are the ones that are up for grabs.
I know the characters.
I know the backstories.
I know where it's sort of headed.
It is an enjoyable, I enjoy watching it.
Is it scary?
Do people die and stuff?
No, it's very corporate.
So it's not.
Oh, see, that's not for me, is it?
It's based on the Murdochs, kind of.
Yeah.
Like which one of the younger Murdochs is going to take a...
Yeah, no, it would be for you, though.
Should I watch it?
Yeah.
Oh, well, la, la, la, la, la.
No one's like me.
So can I just get a for or against?
Yeah.
Do you like...
And look at the...
In a perfect world, I'd watch all of them,
but I'm like every hour that goes past is another hour
that I could have it spoiled for me.
So even if I don't get the full experience because I haven't had
the big juicy build up, will that still be better
than just scrolling on Twitter and being like, oh, fuck.
I see what you're saying.
Yeah.
I feel like, yeah, watch the last episode then.
If all you want to do is not have it spoil.
Yeah.
But, like, maybe then you should go back.
I'm going to spoil myself.
Spoil it yourself because then that's dying with dignity.
Thank you.
And then go back and watch the ramp up.
Yeah.
And then I'll enjoy it more.
Know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yep.
Okay.
Because otherwise some fuckhead on Twitter is going to upset her and you go, oh.
Yeah.
Oh.
I didn't even get to see the final argument between Jill, Sally, Mork and Tyler.
Yeah.
You know?
How did that go down?
Yeah.
Let's write a show and the people are called Jill, Sally, Mork and Tyler.
It won't be as successful as the succession.
Have you got Mork and Tyler because you're thinking of the Mary Tyler show?
Who's that?
What's that?
Mary Tyler Moore?
But what's the show?
Is that like Succession?
No.
No.
So not about it at all?
No, but the names seem to almost roll off the tongue for you subconsciously.
Embarrassingly, they were the first four names that came to my head.
We really need to work on you.
Yeah.
I'm not good at fake.
I'm too real.
I'm not good at fake stuff.
Yeah.
But what I would say is that I think that you can watch the last episode.
Okay.
I need to get your sign off.
But all I will say as someone who loves and lives and breathes TV,
you're only cheating yourself, though.
Oh, don't say something like that.
That's awful.
Like.
That's an awful thing to say.
That's what shitty, annoying teachers do.
Yeah, it's like I'm not angry.
I'm disappointed.
Oh, you're just cheating yourself.
Well, actually, no, I just passed high school,
so maybe I'm not cheating myself.
Maybe I just got the fuck out of here.
But, like, yes, you won't have.
Look at me now.
I can't even read.
Maybe I just got the fuck out of here.
But, like, yes, you won't have it.
And look at me now.
I can't even read.
But, like, yes, you won't have it spoiled on Twitter.
But, like, the.
I won't have enjoyed this whole season of beautiful writing and incredible.
It is an incredibly made show.
Like, the enjoyment of, like, the buildup and seeing everything happen and being like, oh, will Mort get it?
Will Sally get it?
You know, that is all gone because you're going to know.
But I guess if you're going to have it spoiled either way,
I think you would rather watch the final episode and have it spoiled that way.
Spoil it yourself.
But you are only cheating yourself.
That's all I'll say.
Bit harsh.
So you've signed off, but then really not only put the knife in,
but twisted it a little bit.
Really dug it in, yeah.
Yeah, right.
Okay.
Hey, this is Mariah C. from Niagara Falls, Canada,
and you're listening to Tony and Brian.
A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapions from our Patreon.
Ella Bootner.
Bootner.
Hardly know her.
Hannah Weaver.
Weaving a basket.
I hardly know her.
No, just kidding.
Jessie Stansfield.
Thank you so much.
And Johnny J. Roe Stockton.
J. Roe.
J. Roe.
But it's like J-R-O, so it might be Dro.
Do you reckon?
Dro.
Dro reckon?
Dro reckon?
Dro.
Does someone you said it sounded like you said Joe Rogan?
It's not Joe Rogan.
Maybe it's Dr. O.
Who's that?
The guy.
Who's Dr. O?
The person whose name you're reading.
No, J-R-O.
Oh, forget about me.
Not D.
A doctor?
A doctor.
Oh, cancel. A doctor last night. Ew. He fucked a doctor. Oh, don't me. Not D. A jock-ter. A jock-ter. Oh, Cam saw a jock-ter last night.
Ew.
He fucked a doctor.
Oh, don't waste money.
You'll love to see it.
Oh, doctor.
Cam knows him.
It's a big day tomorrow for the Tony and Ryan podcast.
A big announcement.
Yep.
When the pod comes out tomorrow morning, 5 a.m. Melbourne time,
we're going to post it all over the internet.
Big day.
Massive day.
A day that I'm really, like, pumped about personally and work-wise.
And I am pumped about because I'm sick of hearing about it.
I'm sick of getting DM'd about it.
And we don't like to say horrible things like shut you up,
but it might do.
It might do.
Now, I don't want to spoil your punchline,
but everyone's already read the title of the episode.
Yeah.
So in case you missed it, last week I talked about like starting
a new job anxiety and like, you know, oh, I don't know where the toilet is
and like, oh, my work pass doesn't work.
Am I allowed to eat the tuna in there?
Is that like communal tuna or is that like someone's?
Communal tuna, exactly right.
That's a really great anecdote of working in a workplace.
It's like who can eat this?
Yeah.
And the almond milk that only Jodie uses.
I was about to say the almond milk, yeah.
Like is that up for grabs, Jodes, or are we fucking, you know.
Anyway, I talked about.
Say how's it going?
Yeah, being let go. been let go of my job no so um i talked about wanting to make sure that i was on time and apparently it didn't
fucking matter no so um no so i was um i was doing uh a little spot. Guest spot? A regular guest? Regular guest.
A regular guest on Nova.
And it was for a few weeks.
And the few weeks is up.
Like it was six weeks that I did it for.
And it was a lot of fun.
I really liked it.
And it was on Ben Lehman Bell.
You can listen to their podcast.
And I'm in it.
I'm in it.
No, you can stay on our podcast.
Well, yeah, but like I'm in it.
So if you want more time.
No, no, no, no.
You could.
Okay.
No.
Strike that from the record.
Strike that from the record.
Hey, when you used to work there, sure.
Before I got fired.
Before you got fired.
Jokes aside, six-week gig, six weeks up.
It's all good.
But what I do, I can't help but mention.
Did you say on Friday, and we can check the tape.
Yeah.
Did you drive there six times practicing how to drive there
and find a car park and stuff?
Three.
Oh, okay.
I think it was three or four times.
So you would have gone there ten times total?
Because I went there the – so I worked this.
And there would have been a meeting at the start?
I worked there – yeah, so I went for a meeting,
and then I worked there six Yeah. So I went for a meeting and then I worked there six weeks.
Yep.
And then I drove there three times as a practice.
Because it was the Monday, Wednesday,
and then I couldn't use those two days of data because it was skewed
because of the public holiday.
So then the Thursdays were.
So 40% of the times you traveled to work, you didn't go and work there.
It's actually cost me a fortune in tolls.
Because of the domain tunnel. I didn't make any money. I spent it all on tolls. actually cost me a fortune in tolls. Because of the domain tunnel.
I didn't make any money.
I spent it all on tolls.
It's cost you a fortune.
How do you feel about that ratio in hindsight?
Yeah, I mean, when it's presented to me in black and white terms
such as that, it's not great.
And maybe I should have just, maybe if I had offered to work the days
that I drove there anyway, they would have gone,
she's such a go-getter.
We should keep her around.
Let's keep her around.
So I got home from Nova yesterday and Torbs was working from home
and he was like, how did you go?
And I was like, oh, it's over.
Like it was, you know, it's over at Nova.
And I was like, I've never been fired before.
And he was like, well, you haven't been fired.
Like you haven't been fired.
And I was like, oh, I haven't been fired before. And he was like, well, you haven't been fired. Like, you haven't been fired. And I was like, I've never been fired before.
I actually haven't ever been fired before.
Why would you say that?
You're just asking to get fired for something.
Well, now.
Like, you've jinxed it.
You've opened the floodgates.
Well, now that I've only, I had two jobs.
Now I have one, and it's this one.
And are you about to succession me out of here?
Hey, call back.
Yeah.
I don't understand.
I haven't seen the finale. Don't. Yeah, don't. Tell me I don't understand. I haven't seen the finale.
Yeah, don't tell me.
Don't.
Yeah, but I've never been-
Do you know one of the main characters grew up in Brunswick?
Really?
Oh my God.
I love it.
I love her.
One of the main actresses is like-
Oh, the actress.
Sorry.
I thought you meant that in the show she fucking was from Australia or something.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
The girl who's going to take over the huge media company is actually in your building.
Well, I don't live in Brunswick.
Well, that's where she's from.
The actress is Australian.
Who is it?
Sarah Snook.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's so good.
Thing-O's wife as well.
Dave...
Not Greg Sitch.
Works on that show.
It is Dave Lawson.
Yes.
Really?
Yeah.
You're thinking of Greg Lawson.
No.
You're thinking of Greg Larson.
Yeah.
Yeah, very good.
Anyway, he's on Utopia.
He's on Utopia.
When you got home and were telling Torbs that you'd been fired and were, like, crying.
No, I wasn't crying.
I was like, oh, yeah, that was the last one.
Because when you told us like, yeah, six weeks, it's up, it's all good.
Yeah.
And it genuinely is.
But I feel like as you're explaining that, you're like,
am I supposed to feel upset?
Like I don't, but am I supposed to cry?
Is that the normal thing to do here?
Well, the thing is is that like I feel like most people when they like finish up doing something they go oh it's actually better
for me you know that's like any more time with pippa yeah you know like it feels like that classic
like oh it's it was my decision i'm like oh i'm bummed that it's done because i love it was really
fun they're really nice and they're so fucking nice. I love them so much.
And so I was like, oh, I'm a bit bummed,
but I knew it was only for a few weeks.
So because I'm all barred up on succession and just like the aggressive corporate attitude.
Yep.
So I was in there, picture this, in my pencil skirt
and my little suit jacket.
I was wearing a camisole, you know, like those kinds of things,
if that helps it paint a better picture.
Did you feel like creating a scene on the way out?
Because I know you're not a bridge burner by trade.
No, but I love a laugh.
Yeah.
And I'll tell you exactly what happened.
So I walked out and they're like, because they've got like a big producer team.
Do you have to give your pass back?
I didn't even get one.
They knew you were gone for the second you walked in.
They go, oh, we'll organise her a pass.
And someone went, no.
Did you get a farewell party?
Yeah, I got one of those big cards.
Dear Tony, we'll miss you.
Cheryl in accounts.
Never met her.
Thanks for not eating my tuna.
It wasn't communal.
Nah, so they've got like a big production team.
And I was in the studio and I was like, guys, thank you so much for having me.
They were like, oh, we'll get you in again soon.
And I kind of walked out and there's like six people standing there.
And then so I walk out and I'm like, oh, see you next week.
Oh.
And they all lost it laughing.
So, you know, I got the last laugh, basically.
Yeah.
You did get the last laugh.
Thank you.
Well, you deserve a team who loves and adores you as much as Cam and I.
Oh, guys, thank you.
And if they're prepared to make you drive there 15 times per appearance.
Yeah, I mean.
You're better than them.
The ratio was wild.
It was quite right.
It was quite right. It was quite right.
Have you ever been fired?
Yeah.
Have you?
Yeah.
From pushing trolleys.
Oh, you wouldn't be good at that.
Why not?
No, your strengths lie in other areas.
You just, I think that.
Whose strengths lie in trolley pushing?
No, but like, I just don't think that you'd be good at that
Because you probably get easily distracted
Yeah
So I can imagine that you kind of do one round of trolley getting
Put them inside
And then go, oh well
Take a breather
Yeah, take a breather
And then you wouldn't go back out there
And then you've got like all the
All the people like standing there going like
Where's the trolley with the baby carrier in it?
And like, you know
So I used to work one.
It's high stakes.
When I was in high school, I.
High school.
We said high stakes.
High stakes, high school.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, I see.
Yeah.
See where they fucking fired you.
That's for sure.
When I was in high school.
Oh, that is making me feel ill.
One night a week, I used to push trolleys at the elephant,
like the Coles and Woolies. Like you just get employed by like the center. Oh, yeah. And so you're, I used to push trolleys at the Alpham, like the Coles and Woolies.
Like you just get employed by like the centre.
Oh, yeah.
And so you're just like doing everyone's trolleys, whatever.
Yeah.
And it was a three-hour shift.
So it's an agnostic job.
You don't have to pick which one you are.
Agnostic.
Oh, I used to do a...
The poems, yeah.
A classic poem.
So it was a three-hour shift.
And I used to like work really hard for like 20 minutes.
Oh.
For the first 20 minutes of the shift.
And then I'd go down to the Altham Leisure Centre and play volleyball.
And I used to joke when I got there, I was like,
even though I'm 14, I'm like a professional volleyballer
because I'm getting paid to be here.
That is really funny.
Yeah, how good is it?
And then I'd race back for the last 45 hours of the three-hour shift.
45 hours?
Sorry, 45 minutes.
So I'd do the first half an hour.
Child labour.
Yeah.
So the first half an hour and the last 45 minutes.
Yeah.
And I'd race back.
So usually I'd put too many trolleys in because I knew I was going to be away for an hour or so.
And they'd dwindle down.
And hope that they dwindled down.
Well, more to the point, hope they didn't dwindle and dry up.
Yeah. And then one night I got there and it was dry.. Well, more to the point, I hope they didn't dwindle and dry up. Yeah.
And then one night I got there and it was dry.
It was drier than the Sahara.
Did they not know that you were fucking up?
Well, there's just one guy.
And because you're doing like coals and woolies and the whole agnostic.
You could be anywhere.
Oh, he's probably just over there.
And they don't give a shit.
They just work at the supermarket.
Like they're doing their job.
I'm doing my job.
Like no one's keeping an eye on you.
And I guess if it was a weeknight, probably stakes then you know like saturday yeah but then what happened is um the the trolley company they caught
wind because i think one of them said hey we're out of trolleys this bloke's on till nine o'clock
like yeah we're like after a while because i was you know i was pulling this ruse for months
and then so how much were you getting paid like seven bucks an hour or something seven dollars
forty yep so my first job was seven dollars7 an hour or something? $7.40. Yeah. My first job was $7.60 an hour.
Oh, okay.
Well, we're not all moving in with Audis.
All right.
Sorry.
Just saying.
I can just drive around whenever I want.
And it was a three-hour shift.
So what's that?
$21.80 a week.
That was my weekly luck.
That was it.
That's a lot of money, though, for a kid.
When you're nine, that's huge.
Yeah.
That's enough to buy a fucking thing of Warheads and a bloody get a video out of the video shop.
How old am I?
Sorry about that.
How young do you think I was?
No, 14.
That's like a third of a box of Woodstocks.
Oh, sorry.
I didn't underage drink, so I wouldn't know.
I did.
Sorry, I'm lying.
You did.
Yeah.
Well, you were a theater kid though, which is an interesting brain.
Yeah, I was a bit of a nerd.
Yeah.
Anyway, let's not. So did. You were a theatre kid, though, which is an interesting brain. Yeah, I was a bit of a nerd. Yeah. Anyway, let's not.
So then he caught wind of this.
So one night, like the head of the trolley guy, like big trolley,
he comes down.
From his ivory tower.
Yeah, from the big trolley itself, like sitting up in the sky.
The big trolley in the sky?
Yeah.
So he comes down.
He's buried.
He's tombstone.
He's got like a concrete trolley on the top.
Another trolley comes in behind him.
And then when he, for his funeral, they put him in a trolley.
It pushed him down.
Okay, yeah. So he came down to like observe because he goes like
what's going on on wednesday nights i'm getting these complaints the trolley's empty the kids on
um and then at nine o'clock um you race back from volleyball you still got your bib on i think you
still got your wrist on the phone to a friend for ages as well. Just like chatting on the phone, doing my thing. And then he goes.
What kind of phone did you have?
Do you remember?
Nokia, like 33.
33, 15.
Maybe 33, 10.
Oh, lame.
Maybe a 33, 30 at that stage.
In fact, that's where my $29 a week was going to the prepaid.
Yeah.
Getting some credit.
Buying credit.
Yeah.
To chat to sweet honeys on the phone.
But after eight o'clock, it's three minutes. Back in the day, you remember minutes? Yeah. Getting some credit. Buying credit. Yeah. To chat to Sweet Honey's on the phone. But after 8 o'clock, it's three minutes.
Back in the day, you remember minutes?
Yeah.
I actually remember I was talking to Penny when I got fired.
Who's Penny?
This girl.
Is she a Sweet Honey that you were trying to tune on your 3330?
She's a lovely lady.
Penny Penelope.
That's a professional name.
That's a beautiful name.
It really is.
That would be her name if she was on Succession.
Yes.
She's Penny in private, but she's Penelope at work.
Yeah.
Business in the front, Penny at the back.
Penelope in the front, Penny at the back.
Put that on her trolley tombstone.
Yeah, it tastes the same both ways.
Anyway.
Excuse me?
Sorry.
So he was just like Watching me do nothing
For three hours
Fuck
And he goes
Mate I've had so many
Complaints about you
I should fire you
And I went okay
I think he was expecting
Like some pushback
And I just went
Yeah nah
Pushback cause the
I thought he was
Gonna get
He was expecting
Oh no I won't do it again
Oh yeah like I promise
I'll fucking get the
Trolley's back
And he goes
I should probably fire you.
And I went, yeah.
It's good to know that you fight for what you believe in.
You're like, yeah, really passionate about it.
Penny's still on the phone.
She's like, what's going on?
What's going on here, right?
And I'm like, babe, you don't want to hang out with an unemployed guy, do you?
Babe.
Babe.
No, I wouldn't adopt a babe.
That felt weird to say.
I'm not a babe guy.
You say that a lot, but then you babe me sometimes. No, I wouldn't adopt a babe. That felt weird to say. I'm not a babe guy. You say that a lot, but then you babe me sometimes.
No, I don't.
Let the record show that you've babed me.
Only ironically.
No.
I don't babe you.
No, you have babed me.
Not in a sexy way, obviously, but you've babed me.
I mean, obviously, that's a fucking disappointment.
Oh, I thought you were going to say that's obvious.
Oh, okay.
Anyway, I'm really sorry to hear that.
What did your mum say? Because did you have to go home and go. Anyway, I'm really sorry to hear that. What did your mum say?
Did you have to go home and go, mum, I've been fired?
Because that was like me with Torbs yesterday.
I was like, Pippa, you must be so disappointed in your mother.
I've been fired from my job.
None of us will eat again.
I took some communal tuna though and I opened my own shop.
That'll show them.
There's all this half-open oat milks.
Open wide.
That'll show them.
There's all this half open oat milks.
You've already ruined my love to see.
Should I change it or just stick with it?
No, we can stick with it.
Cam fucked a doctor.
Oh, steal it again then.
Why don't you blow my you love to see it twice in one episode?
Don't wink when I say blow.
I'll blow something.
Touch you on the penny.
Tell you what. Poor Penny. She's copping it. What's she up. Don't wink when I say blah blah. I'll blow something. Touch you on the penny. Tell you what.
Poor Penny.
She's copping it.
What's she up to now, Penny?
She's married with kids.
To you?
Not my kids.
No, okay.
And not married to me.
Thought I'd check.
You're like, Penny's actually Bridget.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Penny was an old volleyballer.
Stop winking at me. Sorry.
Did you get on a plane with her as well?
Oh, fuck you. In the
comments the other day, what was the reel?
That you were talking about fingering someone
and I said no, you're a fake finger.
You're a fake finger. Oh, that's right, the fake finger.
Anyway. Well, my love to see it is Cam
fucked a doctor last night and
even though you walked in, Cam, and said
oh guys, I've got news, we already knew.
No, so the thing was, is that he goes oh, yeah, drove into work this morning, wasn't
going to, but got to bed late.
Running a bit late this morning.
Yeah.
Slept in.
And winked.
And I was like, we get it.
Like, do you know what I mean?
It's like, you know, when a creepy uncle goes, oh, yeah, if you know what I mean.
It's like, everyone knows.
We actually already knew.
Yeah.
Uncle Scott, we got it.
Yeah.
Yeah. So how are you got it. Yeah. Yeah.
So how are you feeling today, Cam?
Fine.
Tired.
How's your puckered little asshole?
This is Cam before.
This is Cam now.
Tony Lodge.
I know we've been talking about succession, but last night I had my own suck session.
Was there a finale as well?
And Ryan went, no, don't.
Who came out on top?
Don't tell me Don't tell me
Sarah Snook, no
Yeah
Tony, what do you all love to see?
Fuck, this episode's been loose
It has been loose
Sorry, I'm sorry to everyone who's had to listen
Cameron
Cam, this is a family podcast
I saw this meme, you probably sent it going around
But it sends me every time and I just could not share it
From DLashieArt Twitter, I'm in tears.
The baker said she misread the customer's text asking for an Elmo cake
and instead made an emo cake but realised at the last minute
and tried to improvise.
Did she say the line at some stage?
Are you getting the vibe?
She went, I can save this?
Yeah, she went, oh, my God.
No, we're good.
We're good.
This is fine.
So I'm going to show you this emo Elmo cake.
So it's emo and he's got a black Elmo.
And he's got a real side.
What does he call it when it's like straightened down?
Straightened fringe. And it's a black. side, what does he call it when it's like straightened down? Like the big straight fringe.
And it's a black.
It's just black.
But to save it, they've put some red sprinkles on it to match the Elmo.
We'll pop it up in our Facebook thread for today.
So no, I meant elbow.
Yeah.
Oh, hang on.
That passed me the trowel, sweetheart.
I'll whip you on up.
And then the customer walked in and saw that and went, oh, Elmo.
Pretty funny.
Yeah, it was good. Pretty funny. Yeah, it was good.
Pretty funny.
That's pretty good, mate.
Please don't fire me.
I've copped it this week.
No, you really have.
You really have.
Big launch tomorrow morning.
Yep.
Exciting time for the pod.
So the pod will come out at 5am and so, you know, you'll know everything.
It's on.
Everything will be in and out and around your face.
Yep.
Call it Cam's doctor last night.
Yeah.
Love you.
Oh my God.
I hate every single one of you.
Love you.
Bye.