Toni and Ryan - Toni's Business Deal
Episode Date: September 21, 2021There's something that I've been saying for a while is good, that Ryan disagrees with... THE CHICKEN DEBATE: KFC VS RED ROOSTER. Will we find a winner?!?!?! Also there's poo in a car. (unrelated) Love... ya!! Have your say on our pod in our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You have to sing everything you say.
That's ridiculous.
You have to.
Please don't answer Sam.
Please don't answer Sam.
Please don't answer Sam.
Come on, Sam.
Sam's in Brisbane.
Same time zone as us?
Yeah.
Hello.
Hello, Samantha.
Welcome to the show.
Hello.
Hi, Sam. How are you?
I'm good. How are you?
Tony made us sing everything because she's a fucking idiot.
But here we are trying to get approval.
I didn't hear a word you just said.
Sam, we were just calling for approval for the podcast.
And as the phone was ringing, Tony was like,
you have to sing.
You have to sing everything.
Oh, you know what?
I love that and I'm so glad you did that.
Thank you.
I thought that was a really fun idea.
Don't do it again, but I'm glad you did it.
Well, I'm not going to do it again,
but next time might be something else.
Don't, please don't.
I regret everything.
Was it Tony Singh for?
What?
Was Tony Singh or was it just Ryan?
No, I say.
Yeah, Tony joined in. She was a former opera No, I say. Yeah, Tony joined in.
She was a former opera singer.
As long as Tony and Ryan joined in, you know.
Yes.
You've both got to pull your part.
Yeah, that's right.
I am the butter to her bread.
It's true.
We were just wondering if we could get approval before we get started today.
Of course.
I give you my full approval.
Yay!
I'm actually in line for the COVID vaccination right now, so
you should be very honoured right now.
You know, I'm getting some weird looks,
but I don't regret
it at all. Good. That's what we like to
hear. Well, good luck with your jab
and we'll chat soon.
Chat soon. Thank you so much, guys.
This was so much fun. Oh, you're so
welcome. Thanks.
Thanks. Bye.
Hi, it's Sam and I approve this Bye. Hi, it's Sam and I approve this podcast.
Hi, it's Sam and I approve this podcast.
So next week on the show.
Don't we have to do a hello, welcome?
This is that.
Oh, so you didn't say hello and welcome?
Okay.
Is this an air check?
Are you giving me feedback?
That's actually Mondays, not Wednesdays.
Okay, sorry.
Okay, let me.
Hey, welcome to the show.
Thank you.
Hi, Tony.
Full marks.
Hello, Ryan.
Next week, there will be an announcement of sorts about this podcast.
Uh-huh.
That's all we can say so far.
What is it?
It's something that we've been pondering and people have been asking about
and we're going to have an answer.
Okay.
Can you tell me before next week?
I'll CC you.
Great.
Let me know.
But today, fun episode coming up.
I mean, speaking of being CC'd, I got the best email anyone
would hope to ever get.
Was I CC'd?
No.
This one's a secret one because I've organised something.
Have you?
Yes, I have.
I'm very proud.
Yeah, you look very pleased with your own work.
Thank you.
Yeah, because you normally do all the work, pull all the weight.
That's not true.
No, it's not true.
I do all of it.
And I'm really, really excited about this because I think we're going to change lives.
But before that, Ryan, what have you got for me?
So last week we talked about one of the worst first dates in history
where the guy who worked at a funeral home didn't tell the date
where he worked and turned up to pick her up for a date in the hearse
that had a body in the back.
Yeah, said, I'm just going to use the work car, free fuel.
And she was like, okay, great.
And then Aunty Norma rocked up.
Yep.
Now, I feel like the sentiment in the group and with us
was pretty consistent in that, hey, he's allowed to have that job.
It's a very important job.
However, probably could have given a heads up was sort of the vibe.
Yes.
And if you agree, you should join our Facebook group at our links in TikTok and Instagram.
So someone posts in the group, oh, that first date story was horrible. Anyone else got any bad ones?
Oh, I haven't read any of these comments.
Okay. So we're about to call Jude, who I believe lives in Texas.
Hey, Jude.
And let's just let Jude tell this story firsthand, shall we?
Oh, my gosh.
Okay.
Hello?
Hello.
Is that Jude?
Yes.
Hi.
How are you?
Good.
It is Ryan here, and I'm with Tony.
Hi, Jude.
Hi.
How are you?
Oh, my gosh. It's so exciting. I'm with Tony. Hi, Jude. Hi. How are you? Oh, my gosh, it's so exciting.
I'm so excited.
I love your podcast.
Oh, thank you.
Now, I was just explaining to Tony that we were talking about first dates
and you left a comment which I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about,
if I'm being honest.
Tony hasn't heard all of it.
So I thought instead of me stealing your thunder,
why don't you give us the play-by-play on what happened.
So you were on a first date.
Is this right?
Yes, I was on a first date.
So, well, actually, so we met online,
and he was coming into town to come visit me.
So he lived about three hours away.
So he stayed with me.
Okay. God, I hope he he stayed with me. Okay.
God, I hope he wasn't a murderer.
No, no, no, no.
That would probably be better, I would have thought.
For the story, but not for Jude.
So the next day we were going to have like brunch
and then we were going to do like hiking, take the dog hiking, stuff like that. Um,
so on the way back from hiking,
we're in the car, we're driving back to my place. And I'm asking,
what is that? What's the smell?
What's that smell?
I don't smell anything. I'm like,'m telling you i smell shit i like i smell
something and we had our dog i had my dogs with me so he's going i think it's the dog yeah classic
blame the dog yeah blame the dog and so we get back to my place and he runs out of the car, runs to the restroom and he jumps in the shower.
I'm like, why is he in the shower?
Then I'm thinking, okay, well, maybe it was, we went hiking, he was smelly.
So he went to go take a shower.
Sure.
Makes sense.
I go, yeah, right.
And so I go back to my car and I look in my passenger seat.
There's poo on my passenger seat.
Oh.
So you've only just met this guy.
So you see the passenger seat and you think, okay, it was clearly him.
He's lied about it.
He's run to the shower.
I mean, as you would.
Because he's shit himself.
Yeah.
So do you, like, confront him or does he come out and he's all sheepish
and apologises?
Or do you just ignore it?
Are you like, oh, sweep that poo onto the rug?
I wasn't quite sure what to do, so I didn't want to embarrass him.
I didn't say anything.
Yeah.
And thinking I was waiting for him to
kind of bring it up and maybe admit maybe his stomach was
upset. He didn't say a word.
He just basically ran out the door.
He ran out the door.
Have you seen him since? Did he ever call you again?
No.
And left me to scrub it.
I had to clean the seats.
Oh, my God, Jude.
I'm so sorry to hear that.
That is insane.
I mean, it's no dead body, but is it worse?
Yeah, that's what I was saying before.
Maybe that was worse.
That is unbelievable.
So there was no...
I'd rather be around with a knife than to have, you know,
somebody else's poo off my back.
So there wasn't even a, like, you said you met online.
There was no message on the dating app that was like,
sorry or I'm not coming back.
No, he's gone into witness protection.
He's good.
Nothing.
Oh, Jude, that is an amazing story.
I'm so glad that you get to carry that through your life just to share
with people like us.
Thank you very much.
Oh, absolutely.
I'm just going to put it out there.
Obviously, you know, that guy maybe wasn't going to be the guy,
but I think once you've cleaned the poo, you're better off for it
because, like Tony said, you get to tell that story
for the rest of your life now.
But the guy that pooed, he doesn't get any enjoyment out of the story.
I didn't get any enjoyment out of it.
All right, well, from Fort Worth in Texas, Jude,
thank you so much for being on the Tony and Ryan podcast today.
We appreciate you sharing your story.
Thank you very much for having me.
Thanks, Jude.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Okay, I didn't want to say anything while Jude was on the phone.
Yeah.
But I've done that.
What?
You've pooed on a passenger seat on a date?
No.
Were you the guy hiking? No. So just after
Torbs and I started dating. Oh my god. Are you about to Dalai Lama
his story? Oh no, I don't want this
to be a thing. No, no, you go. You go. Just after Torbs and I started, so we'd been sleeping together for
ages. So we knew each other really well. And about a month beforehand,
two months beforehand, I was like, do you want to go out with me?
Do you want to be my boyfriend?
And he was like, yeah, like let's give it a red hot crack.
Anyway, so we've been actually boyfriend and girlfriend
for about a month or two.
And everything returns to the beginning again for some reason.
It's like the honeymoon period again.
Yeah.
So we'd been like messing around for a year and then we started going out and it was like, everything was like, again.
Do you know what I mean? That's cute. I like that. Well, yeah. Until you shoot yourself on his passenger
seat. So I got really bad gastro
and I was still living with my dad and
my dad was working away and I was really, really sick and Torbs, my boyfriend
said to me of two months, my boyfriend of two months,
said to me, I will come down to meet you.
We can grab some food and stuff.
Then we'll go back to your dad's house and I'll look after you.
That's nice.
He doesn't have his licence.
So he was like, I'll catch the train down and can you just get me
from the train station?
And I was like, yep, that's fine.
What a lovely guy.
So I shat my brains out at home so that I could get in the car.
And I'm like, okay.
So if I finish pooping, then I've got a window where I can go get him,
get back before the next round.
I was like, I'll get as much out now as I can.
15 minutes to the train station, grab Torbs quickly, 15 minutes home.
I should be okay.
And you know when you don't feel very well,
so you put on like a light outfit.
Like a light coloured?
No, like something easy, you know,
you're not going to put jeans on or whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
So I just had like a little T-shirt dress on.
Oh, cute.
Just like a little.
A dress though.
Well.
Tony.
A little dress.
And so I drive to the train station, freaking out.
We get to the train station.
Torbs opens the door.
He goes, hey, sweetie.
And I was like, no.
So I flung my door open and was vomiting down into the street
at the train station in front of like billions of people.
And so Torbs obviously closed the door, got back on the train
and went over again.
I haven't seen him since.
And at the same time as I vomited, the pressure of the vomit.
The convulsion.
Caused me to shit.
No.
While my bum was pointing this way.
At Torbs because you're facing out the window.
Because I'm out the door.
So that means your butt's facing back towards him.
Shat all through my car.
Oh, Tony Lodge.
And turned back to Torbs like this and went, I'm not very well.
And he went, I know, sweetie, and like rubbed my back,
was very, very sweet about it.
And then we went to the shops and had to get some stuff.
What?
Do you know?
So I'm sitting in the car.
You surely go home immediately.
So I'm sitting in the car in my own shit and Torbs is in the car.
Windows down or windows up?
I can't even remember.
It was so traumatic.
And then we get all the way home.
I ran inside.
He, like, scrubbed out my car and stuff.
He was very, very kind.
But so unfortunately, unlike Jude's partner,
I didn't have the luxury of running away because it was my car
and he can't drive.
So what was he going to do?
Just stare at it?
Oh, that's not good.
He's, like, waving down at the people, like,
do you know how to drive a manual? Because I can't.
Can someone drive this home?
You'll have to sit on that seat.
Hi, it's Sam and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. All right, so Tony's just wandered on in, given me a wink and said,
I've got an email and you're going to love this.
You are going to love it.
Everyone's going to love it.
I don't know what this says about our friendship,
but I can tell how happy you are and the look of your happiness convinces
me that I should be concerned.
Like you wouldn't be this happy if I was also going to enjoy it.
No, I think you will enjoy it.
Wink for people that can't say wink.
Were you saying it?
No, you're going to love it.
You're actually going to love it because it's the best thing,
in my opinion, ever.
Oh, he's all that.
The movie.
Yeah, I cry when I watch this as well.
All right, I'm going to be right back.
What do you mean?
I'm going to be right back.
I've got to go get something.
No, I know.
I know, so everyone has to wait.
You know podcasts aren't live.
You could have whatever you need to do already done it.
I just thought that it would be more fun and dramatic
if we, like, set this up.
Well, this is dramatic.
Go on.
We'll wait.
Yeah, okay.
So, yeah, you guys just have to wait.
Just for one second.
Okay, we'll play some nice music.
All right, bye.
Love you.
Hey, guys, now Tony's gone.
Can we just admit that she's holding this show back?
I can still hear you.
Oh, she's running around.
You went the long way to leave the studio.
Yeah, I did.
All right, she's coming back into the studio.
Surprise!
I bought us some lunch.
Oh.
My friends are confused.
All right, so... Tony, can you just explain what you're wearing?
Okay, so...
Explain what you're wearing.
Okay, so my great, not our good friends,
my good friends from Red Rooster have very kindly hooked me up.
I can't even look at you.
You look so stupid.
With some Red Rooster sunglasses, some Red Rooster bucket hats,
some Red Rooster socks that I've got on my hands because you can't see my feet. Yeah.
And this limited edition sold out Red Rooster ruggy.
Is it a ruggy?
That's what they call them.
It's an hoodie, but they call them ruggies.
So it's like a blanket that's a hoodie that's.
Yes.
You look so ridiculous.
So I'm actually really stressing because I can't say anything
because I don't have my glasses on.
And you've got those dark sunglasses. You've got Red Rooster sunglasses on. So I'm going to stressing because I can't say anything because I don't have my glasses on. And you've got those red rooster sunglasses on.
So I'm going to take the red rooster sunglasses off just
so that I can put my actual prescription glasses on.
And it stinks of chicken salt in here.
You've got four bags of food.
All right.
And just to, if you just, this is the first time you've listened.
There's been an ongoing debate about KFC versus Red Rooster.
I have been staunchly, aggressively team KFC because they're better.
And I'm team Red Rooster.
Yeah, and.
The thing is, mate.
I can't look at you.
I can't look at you.
KFC haven't reached out with all these goodies.
Shout out to my mate Stella from Red Rooster.
KFC, they weren't there in your corner, mate.
Red Rooster, they've hooked us up.
How can you say you don't love them?
Except that's exactly what we're going to do.
We're going to convince you Red Rooster's better
with all this delicious food.
I've got your very own bucket hat, mate, in that bag.
If you reckon a bucket hat's going to get me over the line, you are wrong. So what we're going to do, we're going to unpack the food. You're going to put on a bucket hat, mate, in that bag. If you reckon a bucket hat's going to get me over the line,
you are wrong.
So what we're going to do, we're going to unpack the food.
You're going to put on a bucket hat.
Can you go look in the mirror?
You look so ridiculous.
I think I look good.
I am going to take the socks off, though,
because it's just making me feel a bit weird having socks on my head.
I mean, rightly so.
Red Rooster, by the way, how would you describe it to people in the US?
I just want you to put on this Red Rooster bucket hat, please, mate.
Maybe it's a crown for if you decide you like the food.
I'll hold on to it.
Yeah, I mean.
How would I describe it?
It's like McDonald's but just chicken-based.
It's like KFC but it's like an alternative KFC maybe?
Yeah, but I would.
An inferior?
A drug front?
No, it is not a drug front.
It is not inferior to KFC.
It is one of the top five takeaway places in Australia.
I've obviously been sent a little PR.
Although people, it has divided people.
Of the hundreds of DMs I've got on the topic, aggressive.
Yes. Everyone's talking up the chips. Everyone's I've got on the topic, aggressive. Yes.
Everyone's talking up the chips.
Everyone's talking up the cheesy nugs.
Cheesy nuggets.
You've got four bags.
Mate, do you know what?
They don't even sell regular nuggets anymore because their cheesy nuggets are that good.
Let's crack this open.
I'm not changing teams, but I'm curious.
I really hope they've sent some cheesy nuggets, to be honest.
Me too, for your sake, because you look ridiculous.
Oh, they've sent some chippies.
Yep.
Oh, one for you, one for me.
Some two flavour wraps.
So this is what I order every time I go to KFC.
I always get a flavour wrap.
And a chocolate mousse, apparently.
And a chocolate mousse.
I hope they sent some mousse.
Potato and gravy.
So we can compare directly.
Even the KFC, I don't love the, I don't get potato and gravy.
Okay.
They've sent some pineapple fritters.
Yes!
Hello, mate.
What do you reckon that is?
That little bud.
That's a cheesy nugget.
That's a cheesy nugget.
I need you to put this in your mouth.
Can you?
What about the nugs?
Oh, wee.
Tony, part of you.
Yes, here you go.
Would you say, as I see you with four bags of Red Rooster
in a Red Rooster hoodie, Red Rooster sunglasses,
Red Rooster hat, would you say you're easily bought?
Oh.
Yeah. Yeah. Would you say you're easily bought? Oh. Yeah.
Yeah.
Send her a rug here and she's yours, folks.
Some fried chicken and a drumstick,
which is my favourite cut of chicken, which everyone would know.
Some more fried chicken.
I think I'm doing this.
You doing a nug?
A cheesy nug.
Okay.
I just need you to prepare.
We should have got some coffee for you to sniff to, you know,
refresh the palate.
We haven't done that.
Am I doing this?
Here we go.
Here's Ryan trying a cheesy nugget.
I've been very anti-Red Rooster, very pro-KFC,
and I now hold before me.
This is going to be the difference.
A cheesy nug.
Sorry to eat on a podcast.
Sounds good.
Sounding really good.
The flavour explosion.
Ryan, I have a question for you.
Do you want this red rooster bucket hat?
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Put the hat on me.
I knew it.
I knew that you would like Red Rooster.
I hate that I don't mind that.
It's more than don't mind it.
You love it.
What's that, mate?
Going back for seconds.
Well, I'm hungry.
So either way.
And I don't want KFC to get mad at me.
But I don't hate it.
You're welcome, mate.
I've brought this to our family, the Red Rooster.
And I would encourage anybody who doesn't think that Red Rooster is good
to go and take a chance on Red Rooster.
You have been bought, haven't you?
How much are they paying you?
They paid me in this ruggy.
That's all I got, but it's worth it.
Are you really feeling yourself in that?
It's really cosy, except it's just going to get covered in chicken.
Do you know what I mean?
Excuse me.
I'll have you know that any kind of hoodie slash blanket slash we're all in lockdown
at home eating on the couch.
I don't own a piece of clothing that's not covered in food at the moment.
Everything's covered in chicken, so it doesn't matter.
So, Tony, you've clearly been bought out.
Who's your insider?
Okay.
My friend, Stella.
When you say your friend, Stella, who's Stella?
She's the head of PR nationally for Red Rooster.
So what's your, she's bought you, what's in it for us?
Well, I just thought that maybe we could all enjoy Red Rooster together,
but also she has hooked us up and we're going to be able
to give away some prize packs, some Red Rooster prize packs
so you could look as cool as us.
That's not selling it.
So we're going to pop a little video up on our Instagram,
Tony Lodge or Ryan.John.
Is it Ryan.John?
Yeah, I couldn't get the Ryan.John.
Oh, I hate that.
I couldn't get Tony Lodge on TikTok.
It's Tony.Lodge.
Yeah.
Hate that.
Yeah.
Anyway, you can go to our Instagrams and our favourite comments
are going to win a little prize pack from our mates at Red Rooster.
So everyone can look as great as you?
Everyone can.
Will it include food?
You'll have to wait and see.
They haven't told me what it is.
You're the one.
This is why I don't organise stuff.
All I did was get myself a ruggy and everybody else
can just have something else.
I don't know what it is.
Toni Lodge has been bought and it appears that her boughtness
can continue to you.
Oh, she's taken off her glasses and put the Red Roosters on.
Team Red Rooster forever.
Peace out.
Chicken.
Chicken.
Chicken.
What a great day. Chicken-filled day is a good day. It's a great day.
Chicken-filled day is a good day.
It's a win day.
It's a win day.
Winner, winner, chicken, lunch.
It's lunchtime.
Hey, thank you so much for listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast.
We do really appreciate it.
We started a few weeks ago.
We're chuffed that everyone's getting around it.
Makes us emotional.
It makes one of us emotional.
Yeah, by us, I mean me.
Something you love to see,
and this is similar to something, one of my
you love to see, it's from a few weeks ago.
You know how we're talking about the Paralympians and I love seeing
how, like, the
parents and stuff. This week
is the AFL Grand Final,
Australian football, and
my team's not in it. I go for Hawthorne.
Melbourne's playing the Western Bulldogs.
I love in the build up to a Grand Final
you get the coach
from his under 12s in the small country town
on the radio going, oh he was such a great
kid and we're so proud of him.
I love seeing the stories of like
oh he never thought he was going to make it.
He had injuries. He wasn't that tall and now
finally he's going to achieve his dream this week.
I just get really caught up in the big stories and the occasion of it,
if that makes sense.
I love watching the, like, super fans come out and, like,
paint their fence and, you know, put flags out the front of their house.
It's so special.
So in Melbourne, the AFL, you know, very Melbourne-centric is the AFL.
It's just such a great time to be in Melbourne.
There's just a buzz and a vibe.
Especially in Richmond.
Yeah, where we are.
Because normally, COVID permitting,
we've got the grand final just across the road.
Yeah, the parade.
And it's just the first year I lived here, incredible.
And Richmond, the team, has been really successful.
So you still see people's fences painted with the colours
and there's murals and stuff and it's just, I bloody love to see it.
You do love to see it.
I agree with that one.
Yeah.
Are you just going to piggyback on mine?
Well, actually, I do want to because that's really, really nice.
You've done such lovely You Love To See It's this week,
but my You Love To See It today was just that you ate the chicken nugget
from Red Rooster and you liked it.
I am full of nugget and cheese.
Which is not a good combination.
You're going to need to get that out of you soon, I reckon.
Oh, you've taken your PR hat off.
Because you want to put more in.
Oh, of course.
What a mistake.
What was I thinking?
Hey, thank you so much for listening.
We'll chat to you next week.
Oh, no.
I fucked up here.
Can't wait to see you.
Should I redo that?
Is that bad, do you think?
Have a great weekend, everyone.
Okay.
Love you.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. Thank you.