Toni and Ryan - Toni's New Boyfriend

Episode Date: November 24, 2022

What to do when your partner or mate develops a new personality - and your fave traditions! Normal or ... what? Love you! Toni xoxo [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check o...ut our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the show, Ryan, the Vice-Captain of the ship. I've just realised my seat is really low. Pump yourself up, mate. Give yourself a little pump up. Oh, here we go. And we're here with author Tony Lodge, and we are calling Katie, who is in Brisbane. Ooh, BrisVegas.
Starting point is 00:00:20 Hello. Hi, Katie. Hi, you just hung up on me. What's going on? Oh, sorry. Well, we rang and then Ryan's chair was too low, so we restarted. Oh, does he feel a bit bigger now? Yep.
Starting point is 00:00:32 I literally said, Katie, I was like, oh, yeah, pump yourself up, mate. All good. But, Katie, will you approve this podcast? I guess it's the more important thing. Absolutely. Yeah. Woo. Thanks, Katie.
Starting point is 00:00:45 Hey, it's Katie from Brisbane and I approve this podcast. Today is a pretty exciting day. Is it? Yeah. Actually, Monday is a really exciting day. Monday is a really exciting day. Is it? Yeah, actually, Monday's a really exciting day. Monday is a really exciting day. Big announcement, the fuck it fund. So, I'm excited.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Are we keeping you up? I can't actually even get away with it because of video shy. Yeah, are we keeping you up? So, I just, I got so excited that I yawned. Yep. I couldn't take all the information in, so. Now, let's start today's episode, though. It is an exciting day.
Starting point is 00:01:25 With a list of things that aren't a personality, and we've discussed this many times before, some people seem to think it's a personality. And let me just go on the record. I'm happy for you to do these things. In fact, I encourage these things. They sound like a lot of fun. You're allowed to like whatever you want to like.
Starting point is 00:01:40 That's fine. But some of these things aren't a personality. Yeah. Going to the gym. Not a personality. Happy for you. You're allowed to love it. That's fine. But some of these things aren't a personality. Yeah. Going to the gym. Not a personality. Happy for you. You're allowed to love it. That's the thing. Good for you. I talked about joining the gym this week. Great. She didn't call me, by the way.
Starting point is 00:01:54 No phone call. That's not your personality. Maybe she listens to the podcast. I hope she does. People who like the TV show The Office. Yep. I love The Office, but I wouldn't say it's my personality. That's not your personality. No, no. People who smoke meats.
Starting point is 00:02:09 I love smoking meat. No, you don't. You've never smoked a meat in your life. Sorry, let me rephrase. You love eating smoked meat, yes. I love eating meat that's been smoked. Now that you've got like a proper house and a backyard, are you going to get into a bit of that?
Starting point is 00:02:21 We have a Weber. What does that mean? Oh, we've got a Weber. Really? Yeah. Like a barbecue that's not gas, it's like with coals. Oh, well, the Weber is just the brand. We have a Weber.
Starting point is 00:02:35 Yeah, but like when you say Weber, it's like the coals. No, it's not. Are you joking? We have a Weber. You've got a barbecue from the Weber brand. Yeah. Yeah, that's not a Weber though. How? If I show you a Weber, you'll got a barbecue from the weber brand yeah yeah that's not a weber though how if i show you a weber you'll be like oh one of those no the red light domed one like i know what you're talking about the domed one that has coals in it i know what you're talking
Starting point is 00:02:56 about yeah but like that doesn't necessarily if you said i've got a weber i wouldn't immediately be like oh you've got one of those that's's what that means, though. No, it isn't. Can someone please confirm or deny? Do you know what I'm going to Google? I've got a Weber. Please do. What would even come up if you said that? Oh, so I guess if you – no, no, no, no, no. So if you said I've got a Weber grill, that would be the, like, coal one.
Starting point is 00:03:22 Right. Because a grill is like those ones. Yeah, yep. But like I guess if you said barbecue though. Yeah. So we have a Weber Q. A Weber Q. Which I guess is like because you know how you get that baby Q,
Starting point is 00:03:36 family Q, Weber Q. We've got the Weber Q. Yeah, right. Yeah. I do have a. All right, but I think we were both right. And also you were such an asshole just then when I said, we've got to wear- and you went, no, you don't.
Starting point is 00:03:49 No, because I know what you've got. It's not that I'm better than you. It's not my personality. Well, it felt like you were really slinging that dick over me just then. I'd love to be able to sling a dick over anything. Now, Bridget loves to get up early and put a, like, we're having a lunch. She'll get up real early and, like, roast it low and slur.
Starting point is 00:04:10 Yeah. Again, not her personality. People who've been to Japan. People who like sampling craft beers. There is actually just nothing worse than going to the pub with people who order a flight of something. I hate it. I did that the other week when I was with Boz.
Starting point is 00:04:31 I hate it. Why? I just get one beer. But what if you want to taste them all? I don't know. It just is so, and it's, like, huge on the table, and then the waiter comes over and they, like, have to fucking, you know, they're picking up. You're like, it's just such on the table and then the waiter comes over and they have to fucking, you know, they're picking up.
Starting point is 00:04:48 You're like, it's just such a pain in the ass. You've got the paddle with all the things on it. You and me go to Broderigy. We'll get the tacos. I do love Broderigy. The wings and a paddle each. I can't. Well, I mean, I wouldn't get a flat of beer anyway
Starting point is 00:05:00 because I don't like beer. We can get some seltzers in there. You can get a mix. Oh, yeah. Okay. And they're only little. We can get some seltzers in there. You can get a mix. Oh, yeah. Okay. And they're only little. You can just get a taste. I love that you're committing to going to Bodriggi with me,
Starting point is 00:05:10 which I know will never happen. Well, it can be the end of year staff party for the two of us. Oh, that's fun. But not our personality. Can I confirm one last personality thing before we get into your partners? Yeah. Yeah. If you've got a good rig and you like wearing fuck all the beach.
Starting point is 00:05:29 Yeah. Awesome. I'd go further and say I'm almost jealous. Oh, almost. Leave your best life. I am jealous. Yeah. Flaunt it.
Starting point is 00:05:37 However. Yeah. Wearing a bikini is not a personality. You're more than your body. Yeah. Yeah. But some people need to be told that, hey, you look great and fucking live your best life.
Starting point is 00:05:46 But you. You're more than a hot girl or a hot guy or a hot person. Yeah. No, I agree with that. And also, have you ever met like someone that's like a hot bikini girl and then they're quite bland? Well, I've met lots of bland people. Maybe just one particular.
Starting point is 00:06:03 From their Instagrams, like you are the most fun, outgoing person. Maybe just one particular. There was like, I just, from their Instagrams, like you are the most fun, outgoing person. Oh, I see. And then I met them and hung out with them and I was like. You're like, oh, it's not what it seems. But I think that's just Instagram. Yeah, you're right. Like there's been so many people where I'm like, oh, my God,
Starting point is 00:06:16 you're really funny or like you sound like a great person. And I'm like, oh, that's your online personality. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, your brand. That could be for a lot of things. Rather than your, yeah, that's your online personality. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, your brand. That could be for a lot of things. Rather than your, yeah, that's what I find. But so speaking of things that aren't your personality,
Starting point is 00:06:34 can I just special mention to people, friends, watching friends is not a personality. Yep. But I've got a new boyfriend. I haven't met this new, oh, actually, sort of briefly. Briefly. We'll get to that. We'll get to that. So my boyfriend, Torbs, we've been together for almost 10 years.
Starting point is 00:06:51 So we've been doing it for like 10 years. Doing it for 10 years. Together for nine. Together for nine. And we know each other pretty well. It's been a really long time that we've been together. You know, you change, you grow and all of that. And recently we got a dog.
Starting point is 00:07:05 Yep. Ooh, is got a dog. Yep. Is having a dog dangerous territories for personality? I think so. And you know what? If having Pippa is my personality now, I'm actually fine with it. And you can fucking Google that because I just said it. I'm on the record. I'm just like defensive about the fact that I'm actually comfortable
Starting point is 00:07:24 with Pippa being my personality because she's so fucking cute. Okay. And I love her so much. Anyway, so we got a dog. Torbs, my boyfriend, has become a dad. And he's really changed. And what is one thing that is synonymous with dads? Oh, bad shoes.
Starting point is 00:07:40 Bad shoes! Shirts tucked in. Belts. I'm wearing a shirt that's tucked in right now. Cap. Yeah, but you're doing it fashionably. Oh, thank you. That's cute of you.
Starting point is 00:07:49 Thanks. No, the weather. Dads fucking love checking the weather. They do, don't they? They do. It's a dad thing. It is a dad thing. So if your personality is being a dad that loves checking
Starting point is 00:08:06 the weather i'd check yourself you probably also love you probably also love smoking meats yeah you know like they're all kind of like merging into one thing uh but so like every morning torbs or torbs and i will take pippa for a walk so if um i'm working or sleeping in, Torbs will take Pippa by himself. Yep. And he started checking the weather for the first time ever because before we didn't fucking leave the house and if we did it was like just the two of us, it didn't really matter. Like if we got rained on or whatever, it wouldn't matter.
Starting point is 00:08:39 You wouldn't go for long walks. No, but like if we were leaving the house to do anything, it would be like, oh, cool, we'll be outside for however long. Whatever. And if we were going for a big walk, it was because it was sunny outside. So like, you know, not a problem. But every morning he wakes up and goes, oh I'll check the weather. Because fucking God forbid Pippa gets fucking wet. Heaven
Starting point is 00:08:55 forbid a speck of rain touches that dog. Touches our beautiful French Bulldog. I don't know. I don't even want to think about what would happen if that was the case. Could I guess that she would get home slightly wet, you'd pat her off for the towel and you'd all continue living your lives? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Like she'd be fine. But also like if I had her and it started to rain, I'd probably just pick her up and then like I'd kind of- Just head home. Head home. Head undercover. Wait for the rain to pass. Yeah, you know, whatever.
Starting point is 00:09:23 Anyway, so he's checking her all the time and kind of like slipping into conversation like, oh, well, I'll take people in about half an hour because like, oh, I've checked the radar on the Bureau of Meteorology. I've checked the bomb. I've checked the radar. Like, oh, half an hour, radar, bomb, radar, check the radar. Oh, half an hour, check the radar, bomb, radar, radar, check the radar, bomb, bomb, bomb.
Starting point is 00:09:43 Can I just also add being into the weather is a fucking, like a gateway. When you get onto the radar, that's- Oh, so that's what I mean. So he is on the Bureau of Meteorology checking the radar. The radar. So it's like, for anybody that's never checked the radar before, because you've got a fucking life. Which is most of us, because we got laid in high school.
Starting point is 00:10:08 It's like the map and then it shows like the rain and the wind movement over the city. And you can pick like the sections of time. So you can go the next five minutes, the next half an hour, the next hour, whatever, and kind of like see how it's going to shift. Do you know a little bit too much about this? I've had to look at it quite some time. I don't like how much you know about this. Recently.
Starting point is 00:10:28 You're the average of the people you spend time with and are you spending too much time with a radar guy? Yes. It's what's happening. But anyway, because he's kind of saying this in a loving way about my beautiful pippy girl, I was like, you know what? It's kind of endearing. It's kind of endearing.
Starting point is 00:10:43 It's quite lovely. You love her so much. You don't want to get stuck in the rain with her, you know what? It's kind of endearing. It's kind of endearing. It's quite lovely. You love her so much. You don't want to get stuck in the rain with her, you know. You're a dad. You're allowed. But then it took a turn. And it's now like Torbs is my dad. Oh.
Starting point is 00:10:59 And not in a hot way. Not in a daddy way. It's overtaken him. So just last week. It's his personality. You and I, we were in Jakarta. Yep. And we were waiting for our flight home.
Starting point is 00:11:13 And it had been clear and fine as a daisy the whole time we were there. Yep. But the morning, so we woke up at 1.30 to get to the airport and we were getting on a flight at 4 a.m. or something. Like it was very, very early. It hadn't rained the airport and we were getting on a flight at 4 a.m. or something. Like it was very, very early. It hadn't rained the whole time we were there and we wake up at 1.30, torrential fucking rain. Piercing down.
Starting point is 00:11:32 Piercing down. Absolutely bucketing down. And we finally get to the airport an hour fucking later or whatever and it's like lightning and thunder and you and I, it's the end of a rough week. Well, a great week but just like a long week. I'd fallen over. You were feeling sick.
Starting point is 00:11:48 We just needed to get home. It's like when you're on a holiday, you get to the point where you're like, just fucking get me home now. We're sitting in the airport and I'm like, if this fucking weather holds up, how fly? I'm going to fucking shit myself. Sorry, you were actually shitting yourself. I shouldn't throw that around. Let's not just joke about these things so i messaged torbs and i said oh my god there's a
Starting point is 00:12:10 really bad storm here you're feeding the beast like and i just didn't really think about it but i'm like oh there's a really bad storm like thunder and lightning really hope we don't take off like because we also were trying to meet at connecting flights. I was like, you know, the roll-on effect of that is just fucking a pain in the ass. And he goes, don't worry. I actually don't even think I can say this in a straight face. Don't look at me when you say it. I can't.
Starting point is 00:12:35 I can't hear this. This is my message, right? He goes, don't worry. I've checked. What? I've checked the radar. And it should be clear for 45 minutes time when you should be taking off. Did he let the pilot know?
Starting point is 00:12:51 Oh, he's working in fucking mission control. And he goes, don't worry, I'm across it. And so he's like, what, four, five hours ahead of us in time? Yeah. So he's woken up at like 8am. Dad, radar. Dad, I've got to at like 8 a.m. Dad, radar. Dad, I've got to check the radar. Oh, you know what?
Starting point is 00:13:07 And Tony's in fucking Jakarta. I'll check that as well. And then so he goes, don't worry, it'll be fine. And I was like, you've taken like this too far. Like this is actually too much. And I could not believe it. And so I was like, oh, Ryan, I've got a great story that I've got to tell you on Friday.
Starting point is 00:13:25 And then yesterday you and I were on the phone. Fuck, mate, this is a punish. Yesterday you and I were on the phone and I had you on speaker and we were like on FaceTime, whatever, and it's fucking really cold in Melbourne at the moment. As you can see, we're both wearing fucking like knitted jumpers. It's supposed to be summer in what? It's fucking really cold in Melbourne at the moment. As you can see, we're both wearing fucking like knitted jumpers. It's supposed to be summer in what? It's fucking December next week.
Starting point is 00:13:48 It's fucking literally last night we had the heater on. I had the fire on yesterday. We're both sitting there with Ugg boots and tracky pants and jumpers on and whatever. Can my love to say be it's cold enough to put a fire on or is that giving out bad juju vibes because I want a warm summer? Yeah, I feel like you don't. It's mixed messaging.
Starting point is 00:14:06 But speaking of your fire, so you go, yep, like I think that I was like, oh, bro, like I better head off. What are you up to today? I've got a bunch of shit to do. And you go, oh, I'm actually going to see if we can go and get some wood because, oh, fuck it, it's so cold. And then all of a sudden I've like got my AirPods in. Oh, no, I didn't have – you were on speaker so Torbs could hear you.
Starting point is 00:14:22 And he goes, oh, you'll want to get that in the next half an hour because I've checked the radar and it'll be raining soon. And I go, what? And he goes, oh, well, yeah, I checked out their way. Your new place. Is that Research Kangaroo Ground? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:39 Well, I've just had a look and, yeah, I reckon the rain will hit in the next half an hour so you'll want to go and get the wood now. Can I tell you something that has never fucked me off more? What? Actually, well, the second thing that fucked me off was him saying that because I was like, oh, mate, we get it. You've got the fucking internet. You've got a new personality.
Starting point is 00:14:56 You're a radar guy. Give it a fucking rest. Like, fuck. And the reason I, like, made a mental note, that was at 12.30. Yeah. And he goes, you've only got half an hour. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:07 Then what happened? So I drive out through Waddle Glen out to Diamond Creek because I found a wood guy. Yeah, Dymo they call it. Dymo they call it. You know how I like bad mouth Dymo? No. Oh, did you? Right back in the start.
Starting point is 00:15:21 Oh. I talked a bit of trash about Diamond Creek. When I was in the Coles buying, I got like those really long matches so you can get inside a fire and I bought some newspaper to get it started. And there was a girl who listens to the podcast and she goes, oh, are you Ryan? I was like, yeah. And she's like, I listen every day.
Starting point is 00:15:37 I was like, oh, thank you so much. You know, I really appreciate it. And she goes, you're in Diamond? And I was like, I can't say anything. So I get out there and get all the stuff. Then I get to the wood place. It's about 12.58. And you go, oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:15:53 And it's outside. And I'm like, well, if it starts raining, the wood's going to get wet and, like, whatever. But are you looking up going, there's no way it's going to fucking rain? No, I'm just, I'm so aware that Torb said at 12.30, you go half an hour. Yeah. I'm so aware that Torb said at 12.30, you go half an hour. Yeah. And I don't know if Torb's got a brother out my way because I get in there and I was like, mate, can I get some wood?
Starting point is 00:16:12 He goes, better hurry. Rain's on the way. I was like, are you looking at the rain? And then we're putting the stuff into the car and literally as I shut the boot shut full of wood, it ticks over 1 o'clock, and fucking to the second, rain starts falling. I've got goosebumps.
Starting point is 00:16:32 That is beautiful. And there's actually a bit of hail. Did you see that on the news? Yeah, I did. I was like, we're a week away from summer. And it's fucking hailing. There's hailing falling. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:38 Yeah. It was honestly as if, like, the accuracy of a NASA countdown. Yeah. Five, four, three. It accuracy of a NASA countdown. Yeah. Five, four, three. It's one o'clock. Here we go. Open her up. So I drove home in the rain, put the fire on.
Starting point is 00:16:52 I was like, and you know what I said? Thank God Torb's not. Thank God for Torb's. And I just, I hated how accurate and convenient he was. Because 1230, Bridger's like, oh, I might put some soup on. Do you want some lunch? And I was like, no. No, I've got – it's going to rain in half an hour.
Starting point is 00:17:10 I've got to go. If I wait, I could get stuck at the – the wood will get wet. We can't light a fire. Yeah. And then I get home. It's drenched and I'm just drenched from just like getting out from the car and then Bridge goes, lucky Torbs checked the radar. Lucky. Lucky. And he'll take that don't encourage him because on monday oh no it wasn't monday the other day yeah torbs checks the radar
Starting point is 00:17:36 he goes i'm gonna just take pip for a walk i've checked it's clear yeah and it started raining while he was out and i had to go and pick him up. That's how bad it was raining. He goes, can you come and pick Pip and I up? Did he not check the radar? And then, right, in the car, he goes, I don't know what's going on over at the bloody bomb because I checked the radar. Tell everyone the BOM stands for Bureau of Meteorology.
Starting point is 00:17:58 I checked the BOM. So I don't know what's gone wrong. And he's, you know, like he's like fucked up about it. He's getting his back up there. I'm like, so you're willing to take on that like you're a fucking master of the weather when you're right, but when you're wrong, it's the bombs fought? Yeah, well, so my cousin Max also was a radar guy.
Starting point is 00:18:17 For a few years he fell in. He was a. It's a slippery slope, I feel. Yeah, he was a tradie, like labourer, working outside. Okay. So it's sort of fair. That makes a bit slope, I feel. Yeah, he was a tradie, like labourer, working outside. So it's sort of fair enough. That makes a bit more sense, yeah. So one night we're in, I think, Carlton North and our friend lives about a kilometre away.
Starting point is 00:18:33 So a pretty cruisy, cool area. Yeah, bar's closing and we're like, should we walk back to Lehmanfields and have a few more beers there or should we get a cab? Oh, it's pretty late. We're all young students, you know, catching a cab, kind of expensive. And he goes, oh, I'll check the radar.
Starting point is 00:18:50 And you've just rolled your eyes now. I rolled my eyes and went fucking righto. So we're in the bar and we're like walking out the front and he's checking the radar. We walk outside and it's raining. There is rain coming from the sky. And we walk to the corner and he's holding his phone and the rain is hitting the screen of his iPhone, splattering on top. And you know what he says?
Starting point is 00:19:14 We've got about 15 minutes till the rain gets in. I reckon we'll make it. What do you say to that? I reckon you go, yeah, cool, just ride up here. And while he's busy looking at the radar, you turn left and you leave him. Get in the tram. And you gap it and hope that he doesn't fucking find you. Because I was like, if we have to get a taxi, we will. But if it's not going to rain, we'll be fine. We'll be fine to walk. And I couldn't because once you're a radar guy, that's all you've got.
Starting point is 00:19:40 But that's what I mean. So he goes, well, I don't know what could have happened. Torbz goes, oh, it shouldn't be raining. I'm like, well, it is. You can't tell me it shouldn't be raining if it's literally coming out of the air. Maybe it shouldn't be, but it is. Yeah. There is rain falling on my head.
Starting point is 00:19:56 I'm telling you. Dropping on my shoulders. Yeah. The screen you're watching the radar on has water slap in the front of it. Yeah. I'm not fucking tipping me Frank Green on your fucking screen. It's the fucking rain. And I was like, no, it's raining.
Starting point is 00:20:08 And he'd be like, no, look. And I'd put it in my face. I was like. You can't reason with a radar guy. Put that on a fucking t-shirt. Not a truer word has ever been said on this podcast. I cannot reason with a radar guy. So, have you signed up to
Starting point is 00:20:29 Tinder or Hinge? What's your plan B here? Like, what's the... You can't continue living with this mania. Tom's would probably be able to go on the fucking radar chat room and find a new wife. That's probably a fucking... Oh, they can have... How's the weather at your place?
Starting point is 00:20:45 Wet. Like my funny. That's a fucking great pick-up line. Thank you. If you're a radar loser. Yeah. That's a great idea for an app. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:20:54 Radar chat. All right. Well, oh, my God. What? We've just done radar chat. Oh, yeah. Well, maybe we can go on the app. You'll find Torbs there.
Starting point is 00:21:05 Hey, it's Katie from Brisbane, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. It's Black Friday today. Yeah. Can we just say... Yeah. Black Friday's taking the piss. You would have literally just seen me open my phone. I've got like six deliveries on the way.
Starting point is 00:21:31 Yeah. Black Friday's taking the piss. Why? Today, today... Oh, yeah. ...is Black Friday. Yeah. So when you go, oh, Black Friday sale, it's been on for the last two weeks.
Starting point is 00:21:40 It started on Monday, yeah. Is it Black Fortnite? Black Fortnite. Or is it Black Day? I think the same about like Boxing Day sales. They go into early January. Yeah. Come on, mate.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Boxing Day sales used to fucking be the tits. They're shit now. Yeah. Things are on sale all the time, though. Have we aged 40 years in the last three days? I'm wearing a cardigan, you're wearing a fucking shit jumper. We're like sitting here having a fucking... Whinge about how you used to be.
Starting point is 00:22:11 The radar's on and the sales aren't as good. What I will say, though... And TVs don't last as long as they used to. If you're on sale 52 weeks of the year, which every place seems to be, then I don't care about your sale because you're always on sale. And because there's so many shops now, it's like, oh, if the TV you want isn't on sale there, you just buy it down the road. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:22:29 You know, your JB Hi-Fi, your Good Guys, your Harvey Normans, your... Fuck, we have got so old, hey. Oh, yeah. When did this happen? I don't know. Literally in the last 30 minutes. Coming up on Monday's show, Tony will list white goods outlets in Australia.
Starting point is 00:22:44 And Ryan will teach you how to knit. in the last 30 minutes. Coming up on Monday's show, Tony will list white goods outlets in Australia. And Ryan will teach you how to knit. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tubbers over at our Patreon. That would have enjoyed our live stream yesterday morning that we did for Thanksgiving. Happy Black Friday, by the way. Hope you're lining up for those sales. Your Retrovision, your Harvey Norman.
Starting point is 00:22:59 You know what? There was probably just an ad, depending on which country you're in, and the ad was like, How Good's Black Friday Sale? Oh, Abby, thank you're in. And the ad was like, how good's Black Friday sale? Oh, Abby, thank you so much. Sammy Conduit, thank you. Dylan Hawkins, Jack and Madeline Tyrrell,
Starting point is 00:23:12 thank you so much for being part of our Patreon. We fucking love to see it. And we love seeing your names pop up. Yeah. Now, as you said. We've got nothing else going on. Thanksgiving yesterday, or if you're listening Thursday night in different parts of the world, depending on when this episode comes out,
Starting point is 00:23:24 it still might be Thanksgiving. A few years ago, I went to New Orleans for Thanksgiving. Yeah, because that's where all your family is, right? Yeah, all the biological family. That's sort of the unofficial home base. You know when people are all over the place, but there's kind of like that spiritual home? Yeah. I feel like the spiritual home was New Orleans.
Starting point is 00:23:40 Is that like where the kids all grew up? No, New York, New Jersey and stuff like that. Right. But just I think one of the grandparents were there. Sure. Half-brother, step-brother, Cole was living there at the time. Because I feel like ours is like, like for my family, is Perth. But is that just because it's where I grew up?
Starting point is 00:23:57 Yeah, that's where you always meet up. That's our home base kind of thing? Yeah. And I just, great memories. Every time Thanksgiving comes around, I think about how great New Orleans was. And I don't know if it's a coincidence, but, like, the New Orleans Saints, the football team, were playing, like, that night. So we had this great lunch, drank heaps, and then, like,
Starting point is 00:24:16 we went to this bar later in the night, like, the football's on, and it's, like, the Thanksgiving. And at the bar they're serving, like, turkey breasts, and it was just, like, having, like, fun cocktails and stuff. And it was a great time. I'd love to go to New new orleans yeah we'll go on the next year it's unreal um we got a place for you to stay yes i need the help yeah um so i'm loving the like even though australia doesn't do thanksgiving just that like wholesome vibes of like family traditions and we always watch the game together and then you know mum makes the pumpkin pie and we always do this.
Starting point is 00:24:47 Well, I don't. Your mum doesn't make pumpkin pie? No. Why not? Doesn't like it. Now, I don't want to spoil what's in your book because I've read it, but can you just share one of the fun little things that happens on Christmas Day in the Lodge household when you were growing up?
Starting point is 00:25:07 Yeah. So obviously, yeah, we don't do Thanksgiving in Australia, but for Christmas is like our big family holiday. Yep. And it was always like, if you didn't have a place to be, you're at the Lodges. Like we would, like there would be so many blow-ins. Like we just, through the day we'd be eaten or in the pool and you could find us either, yeah, in the kitchen or in the backyard. Like there was just people coming and going all day.
Starting point is 00:25:30 And we would always have like a big breakfast but then lunch was like our, so you know how some people do their dinner? Yep. Ours was lunch. Yep. And Dad would have like meat on the spit overnight and Mum would be like chopping fucking potatoes for three weeks and do beforehand and stuff.
Starting point is 00:25:45 Yeah, exactly, yep. And because we had so many blow-ins, we always used to do like paper plates. It's so much easier. It's so much easier and I know that. Don't try and pretend you're fancy. These days you probably wouldn't do it but back in the day we always did paper plates. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:25:59 And so you'd kind of do the like, you know when you're at someone's house for a roast and you like walk through the kitchen like a school cafeteria, like you go, oh, yep, I'll get like a scoop of that and I'll get a scoop of that. Like it's like a smorgasbord kind of thing. And because mum goes, well, I'm not fucking serving everyone's dinner. I don't know what everyone wants. Ready to go on the bench, grab a plate.
Starting point is 00:26:20 Yep, exactly. And then like at the end of the thing there's like a big thing of gravy and you fucking pour it over everything that you've managed to get going through that. How many gallons did we draw on this year, sweetheart? Literally. And then, you know, you get up and have seconds and we're drinking champagne and doing the bonbons and stuff.
Starting point is 00:26:34 Beautiful times. Fucking beautiful. And because in Australia it's really hot during Christmas, it's, like, in the middle of our summer, we would always have, like, the ceiling the ceiling fan on like over the lunch table so that like everyone didn't fucking perish. Sweat to death. And I don't know how this started,
Starting point is 00:26:53 but at the end of eating when everyone was finished, we would all throw our paper plates at the fan. So the fan would be on like full piss, spinning around, right? It's like fucking Kylie Minogue. Yeah. And we would all have our plates like covered in gravy. Isn't there gravy? There's always.
Starting point is 00:27:12 Yeah. You can never finish peas. There's always a row of spare peas. Yeah. Or like a little bit of apple sauce. Cranberry sauce? A clump of cranberry. Literally anything.
Starting point is 00:27:22 So when you throw it into the, does it not just like, there's gravy flying around. Yeah. And it not just like – gravy flying around. Yeah, and it would just like go – like it would just be such a mess and like you'd have a little bit of party pop, like Christmas cracker, and you'd throw that up and it would fucking biz away and there'd be ribbon from something and like wrapping paper from someone's present would end up in the – and I don't know why it started.
Starting point is 00:27:44 But, yeah, so we would sit there and, like, throw all of our plates at the – I don't even know. I just have no idea why it's a thing. So you – every Christmas, always at the Lodge household. And then I believe you're 19 or 20 and you're hanging out with – I don't know how it's, you end up Torb's invites you to the family thing. Yeah, so it was like the first Christmas.
Starting point is 00:28:12 Sorry that I've forgotten how to talk. No, that's okay. The thought of gravy has entered my brain. Oh, I know, yeah. I'm thinking about Christmas lunch as well, don't worry. So you eventually, so Torb's goes, come and have Christmas lunch with my family. Yeah. Do you finish your meal, get the plate and fucking just,
Starting point is 00:28:25 because what else do you know? So I'm just like sitting there and I've got like a ceramic plate. Oh, fuck. You've got a biscuit. And I'm like, well, that's going to break. I've watched the Olympics. These things fucking fly. How am I going to throw this in the air?
Starting point is 00:28:35 And everyone goes, why are you fucking doing that for? But, yeah, so I'm sitting down and they like – they kind of do a thing where like everybody brings like a dish. So our thing used to be that like mum just did everything. But they kind of. Our tradition is mum does all the work. Is that mum is in charge. But, yeah, so their thing was like everybody brings a plate
Starting point is 00:28:53 and there was kind of, you know, someone would bring like a curry, someone would bring a turkey. So it was a big mishmash. Did you know that throwing plates into the fan was a lodge thing or did you just assume it was like a Christmas thing? Because, again, once you're young and it's like that's all i know so if i'd been a bit younger i reckon i probably would have been like oh you know how you do that thing yeah but because i was a bit older and i'd kind of said to friends like oh you know how you do that and they went
Starting point is 00:29:15 what and it's like you say it and then you go i've just heard what i said and that's when you start to question it um but i i didn't know any different that's what we'd always done and then I remember yeah saying to like a girlfriend or whatever being like oh you know you do that thing I was like what the fuck don't you get gravy everywhere isn't there a rogue pee where's the camera like everyone has the same question I've been asked these questions for 20 years and I still don't have a fucking answer so um in the episode thread today Tony and Ryan podcast on facebook go and tell us your like family traditions or maybe traditions but like those things where you always did it
Starting point is 00:29:50 it's a normal yeah until you mentioned it and went you guys not doing that yeah because not everyone doing that when i think of thanksgiving when i think of christmas i think of something that our family here in australia does. And it seems normal to us. Yeah. We do it every year. But my girlfriend at the time, Kez, this would have been 10 years ago. Yeah. She comes to family Christmas. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:14 That's a big deal, bringing a partner to Christmas. Yeah. Kez would have done a few Christmases. And the first time she rocked up, we started doing something that we always do. Yeah. And she almost like. I know. No, the family.
Starting point is 00:30:27 Oh, sorry. I thought you were talking about you and Kes. So. Merry Kesmas. We started doing something that the family always does. Yeah. And I'm pretty sure she actually pushed back her chair and just went, what the fuck is this?
Starting point is 00:30:50 What is it? And it wasn't until that moment that I went, oh. We're not all doing this. Yeah. It's pretty fucked, eh? What is it? So when my mum, Mandy, who you've met. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:02 Have you met my auntie Linda? No, not yet. And auntie Sally,'ve met. Yeah. Have you met my Aunty Linda? No, not yet. And Aunty Sally, three sisters. Yeah. Mum and sister. When they have a few champagnes, shit gets rowdy. Yeah, and because mums don't, I don't know what it is, but my mum never drank except like on Christmas she'd have a fucking,
Starting point is 00:31:17 you know, Midori illusion and she'd be anyone's. And now Cousin Bonnie and Cousin Rach, they'll have a couple of wines and it's just like, it's just loud. It's real loud. But it's just so. It's real loud. Everyone's laughing. Everyone's merry. Having a great time.
Starting point is 00:31:28 Yeah. Couldn't like, not to like glamorise alcohol, but like in the most positive way. Yeah. There's no nitpicking or argy, but it's just everyone, but it's just loud. It's so loud. It's loose.
Starting point is 00:31:39 Everyone is having a mad time. And because there's now partners and kids, there's probably like 16, 18 people around the table. Like it's a big, you know, it's a trestle table. And the card table from the upstairs and the outside chairs are inside. As the table goes down the room, it starts changing width, you know, it's like the different tables underneath the tablecloth. And so we do this thing every year where we go around the circle
Starting point is 00:32:05 of the room and we say, what's the best thing that happened to you this year? Or what's your favourite memory from the year? Oh, my God, I've got actual goosebumps. And then we go around again, like after dessert, and say, what's the thing you're looking forward to next year? Oh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:19 And then, so a common one in the last few years, Bridget and I got married. So it's like, best thing this year, we got engaged. You got married. And then what's the best thing next year? We're going to get married. And it's a beautiful time and it just sets a tone of loving and stuff. But because everyone's been drinking and because it starts getting loud.
Starting point is 00:32:36 Yeah, and everyone's eating. Yeah, and I can't express just the loudness. You know when you're like drinking out the back and someone's trying to sleep in the house and you're like, can you keep it down? And you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you think you're keeping it down, but you're the fucking loudest thing in the world.
Starting point is 00:32:51 It's like that. So we had to incorporate a talking stick. For your family Christmas. So you hold the stick. Is it like a special stick or is it like just whatever someone picks up? No, it's a specific stick. Oh. It's a beautiful stick, actually.
Starting point is 00:33:10 I think it's almost like two sticks that have been intertwined and like an Aboriginal carving. Oh, beautiful. With beautiful pictures and art. Yeah. It sounds weird to say. It's a beautiful stick. Yeah, it's not just like a fucking stick that BJ brought in from outside. Yeah, yeah. Because that's kind of what I'm picturing. Yeah, and art. Yeah. It sounds weird to say. It's a beautiful stick. Yeah, it's not just like a fucking stick that BJ brought in from outside.
Starting point is 00:33:27 Yeah, yeah. Because that's kind of what I'm picturing. Yeah, and Grandma, actually most of my family, you know, really appreciate the Indigenous artwork. So I think it must have started, it would have been just like on a table or a thing at Grandma's house. And one year someone going, fucking hell. We need a system.
Starting point is 00:33:43 Just reach out and grab the stick. And now that's the stick. Yeah, right. So you'd get the stick and you'd go, yep, the best thing that happened this year is Bridget and I bought Beyonce's Airbnb and we finally got a place to call our own and we're going to live there forever. We've moved in.
Starting point is 00:33:59 It's beautiful. That's the best thing that happened to me this year. You pass it on. And you pass the stick on. And so I said to Kez at the time, and I had to have this chat with Bridget as well, and everyone else had to have a chat with their partner. You're like, so the family's pretty loud.
Starting point is 00:34:14 And everyone goes, oh, yeah, you know. And I go, nah, but like we need a stick. There needed to be a law in place. Yeah, we had to create. and then, and then some people start like not respecting the stick. See, that was going to be my question. The power that comes with a totem that means you can speak would be, I could, I'd be drunk with power, but sorry, do you have the fucking stick? It's actually my turn. There's a lot of chat. I like that. And then when you've been drinking, that's hilarious yeah uh and then people are laughing and they go what are
Starting point is 00:34:47 they laughing at and it can become chaos real quick and i don't want to name names but cousin bonnie does not respect the stick and she should respect it more okay she's a big fan of this podcast and she well she podcast choice yes stick respect no okay um there's her strengths and weaknesses yeah i'm not telling anyone else to do do with their life. Yeah, and you're not going to name her. You're not going to say, oh, my cousin Bonnie, you know, it's private. No, no. I wouldn't say that she should get my jacket back that she borrowed from two years ago. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:35:12 I haven't stopped hearing about that. Yeah, I did actually promise her a Frank Green drawdermodel and then told her I didn't have any left, so maybe keep the jacket. Oh, well, if she wanted one, she should have become a champion tapper. Yeah. Shout out to the guys that have already done that. Yeah. to become a champion tapper.
Starting point is 00:35:21 Yeah. Shout out to the guys that have already done that. Yeah. So I don't think I'll ever forget the look when I have told people we have a stick. Of people going, ah. And then when you look over the table at them and go, this is why we need it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:37 Because everyone's fucking kicking off. Everyone goes, what the fuck? And then about 13 seconds in they go, oh, yeah, no. Get a bigger stick. Get more sticks, get noise-cancelling headphones, maybe have a microphone on the stick and that's all. You know when in Parliament when they can turn the people off? That's what it should be. But let's do it.
Starting point is 00:35:57 We love to see it. But, yeah, and I hope everyone's having a great, if you celebrate Thanksgiving, hope you catch up with the family. Yeah, it's just the holiday season for everybody. I think it's like a big time for holidays. If you want to implement a stick, I recommend it. Ryan's got a guy. Yeah, I've got a guy.
Starting point is 00:36:09 You've got a stick guy? I'm a stick guy. My love to see it for the video show for the end of this week is a post that was in my community Facebook group. There's like a Richmond 3121 group. Yes. What's the latest there? It does get quite dramatic.
Starting point is 00:36:26 Yeah. Yep. This one's a sweet one. Someone posted this on behalf of two brothers that have started a business. Oh, great. I think they're about seven and eight years old. And they've started a dog agency. And it says, need a sitter for your pup?
Starting point is 00:36:43 I'm going to show you the poster because it's very cute i will post it in the facebook thread um need a sitter for your pup and so they've is there's like a hand-drawn dog yeah and it says call us between four and five thirty on a monday tuesday thursday and saturday and we can walk your dogs from two to six on weekdays and one to four on weekends. Feeding is $1 extra and training, this says, training $2 extra might take a few days. Grand opening 1st of December. And they've obviously, they've got their phone number on there,
Starting point is 00:37:21 so it's obviously like their mum or dad's number or something. That is cute as fuck. And they've got like a, yeah, hand-drawn dog that they've like coloured in with text art. I will share it in the group with the number blurred out because obviously... Oh, no, I can call it. Hey, mate, they're trying to run a business. Are you going to deprive them of advertising? No, if people are actually in the area, I'm happy to pass the number on.
Starting point is 00:37:38 In Richmond. Oh, of course. It's in our group. Yeah. Are you going to use them? Oh, I should have mentioned where it was. Are you going to use them? Oh, well, I mentioned where it was. Are you going to use them? Oh, well, I've actually got a dog walker guy that's checking the radar.
Starting point is 00:37:48 I mean, is it five extra dollars for them to check the radar before they take her out? Maybe you should offer that as a service. My dog can't be touched with water. I don't know if you've heard that. Maybe they should have that. Do they have radar on the piece of paper? They don't. I'll reach out to them and offer them the suggestion.
Starting point is 00:38:02 Do you reckon I would look after her? Like, if we brought our dogs into work, they would just like... Well, they can't do it during school. I mean, they've got very specific hours that they're available. Mate, they're businessmen. They're not going to go to school. How old are they again? I think they're like seven and eight.
Starting point is 00:38:15 They might be a bit older than that. I think we can all agree that after the age of seven or eight, you don't really learn that much more for the rest of school. Yeah, mate, you definitely didn't. I learned how to dress like this. But I thought that was really, really cute. That's fucking cute. Like, we all tried to do things like that as kids,
Starting point is 00:38:30 like babysitting or dog sitting. I tried to sell chocolate snakes. Chocolate snakes? Like, I got, like, little snakes, the lollies. Yeah. And then melted down a bunch of chocolate and then put the snakes in the chocolate and then tried to sell them to neighbours.
Starting point is 00:38:43 Oh, God, that sounds awful. It was a very unsuccessful business and a very unhygienic business. Yeah, it doesn't sound great. You've got your fucking dairy milk in the microwave. Actually, now I'm thinking of it. Imagine some four-year-old turns up with these fucking... Grimy little fucking fingers. Oh, do you want to eat some of this chocolate I made at home?
Starting point is 00:38:59 Yeah, but like, oh, I made this. Do you want to buy it? No! How much is it? I don't care because I'm not paying. Get off my property. Yeah, it actually is... It's Do you want to buy it? No. Not really. How much is it? I don't care because I'm not paying. Get off my property. Yeah. It actually is.
Starting point is 00:39:07 It's a moot point how much it costs. I don't fucking want it. Yeah. Yeah. You couldn't pay me enough to take it. Yeah. Or if you take it and you go, thank you so much, and you just pop it in the bin. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:39:17 I'm actually thinking about that now. I'm actually embarrassed. I'm cringing. I would be. That's fucking awful. I'm cringing about how bad that was. It's not cute like this. I think I ate the snakes personally because I almost died on them. Yeah, probably. I would be. That's fucking awful. I'm cringing about how bad that was. It's not cute like this. I think I ate the snakes personally. Yeah, probably.
Starting point is 00:39:28 And your mum probably went, where did all those snakes go? I bought those for such and such's birthday or something. You mean inventory? That was a cost of good sold. Hashtag not sold. I think I've said this before. Has there ever been a movie written
Starting point is 00:39:44 better for a specific actor than school of rock for jack black oh yeah it's so perfect it's so perfect and i don't know if you know you know the the brother or whatever who's the teacher that jack black's filling in for mr schneebly yeah he wrote that movie that guy yeah yeah so jack black i don know, he just seems like a fun guy. Yeah. So this video pops up and you just fucking love to see it. This kid, I'll just say broadly, like having a rough trot. Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:12 And a tough time of it. He's in a wheelchair as well, I believe. But he loves School of Rock. Oh, who doesn't? Yeah. Yeah. And so they're at this event and like Jack Black's there. And they're like, oh, Jack, can you, like, come over and, like.
Starting point is 00:40:25 Say hey. Say hey. And, you know, we've got your biggest fan here. Yeah, yeah. And, like, he would get this all day, every day. Totally. He's a very, like, recognisable, like, a unique looking dude. And he's been, like, this sounds really dumb.
Starting point is 00:40:37 Yeah. But he's been, like, famous for a long time. Yeah. You know how some people kind of, like, come in and out of Vogue or whatever? He's, like, stayed the test of time. Yeah. Yeah. You know how some people kind of like come in and out of vogue or whatever. He's like stayed the test of time. Yeah. Yeah. So it could be easy to be like, oh, hey guys, thanks heaps and fuck off. Nice to meet you. See ya. Yeah. Um, so he goes over to the kid and goes, oh, you love School of Rock. What's your favorite part? And the kid goes, oh, the bit where you like sing about this thing. Yeah. And he sits down next to him and he holds his hand and looks
Starting point is 00:41:01 him in the eye and sings the whole song together with the guy. Should we play a little bit of it? Yeah. Oh, well, it will be on the video show, so people will have already seen it. No. We can hear it. Oh, okay. Oh, thank you. And what's your favorite part of the movie?
Starting point is 00:41:15 All the kids. Uh-huh. And what song does he sing? What song does he sing? Me and me. Me and me. Yeah. What do you see? Me and me and me and mine! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, that's so nice.
Starting point is 00:41:55 Oh, that's so sweet. And like I was saying, it seems insignificant, but he's like kneeling on the ground, he's holding his hand, he's looking him in the eye, fucking giving kneeling on the ground. Yeah. He's holding his hand. He's looking him in the eye. Fucking giving a bang up performance. Yeah. And I was just like. That's really, really sweet.
Starting point is 00:42:11 And to take the time out to do that. Like you said, he would get stopped all the time. Yeah. Oh, my God. That's so lovely. That is lovely. Oh, what a nice way to finish the week. Very lovely way to finish the week.
Starting point is 00:42:21 Oh, we both did like cute ones. That is cute. Oh, now my computer's. Should we just sit here and I'll just watch stuff on YouTube? All right. Well, it was good until then. No, thank you so much for joining us this week. Big announcement on Monday.
Starting point is 00:42:37 Oh, Monday. Oh, get ready. Get ready. Why am I doing this? I don't know. It's my excited hands. I wish it wasn't. Get those excited hands away from me.
Starting point is 00:42:46 Everyone gets freaked out when they say the size of our coffees. Because in America, it's like three times the size. Oh, yeah, they're small here. Yeah. I don't need a big one. Otherwise, my tummy gets too full. What about your coffee? Luckily for you, I just said I don't need a big one.
Starting point is 00:43:04 Hi, my name's Ryan. Let's get the fuck out of here. Monday. Why would you say hi, my name's Ryan? You don't need a big one. I'm like, here's my chance. We'll see you on Monday. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:43:18 I don't know. Maybe if we make it. Fucking love you. Thank you so much for watching and for listening. Good evening and good night. Monday. Actually, night. Monday. Actually, no. Monday, something's going to happen and a lot of people,
Starting point is 00:43:30 a lot of tarpers, their life will be different because of it. I hope so. Yeah. I'll never forget it. That's fair to say. I hope so. Yeah, I hope not. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:40 One of us is excited. I literally was the one that remembered. You forgot it was happening. But now that I have remembered, I'm excited. Oh, my God. I've was the one that remembered. You forgot it was happening. But now that I have remembered, I'm excited. Oh, my God. I've had enough of you today. Yeah. I've had enough, mate.
Starting point is 00:43:50 I've had enough of me too. I'm with you on that. We're going. Love you. Bye. You'd rather hang out with a radar guy than me today. I am that annoying. You fucking better believe it.
Starting point is 00:44:00 That's not good for you. No. I'm embarrassed. Love you. No, I'm embarrassed. Love you, bye.

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