Toni and Ryan - Toni's New Job
Episode Date: May 25, 2023I've got new job anxiety and Ryan's Mum has done something no mother should do. Love ya! xoxo [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandR...yan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Tony, author Louise Lodge.
I got my words mixed up because you're wearing a hat and it's thrown me.
You look good though. Let's call Erica, who is in Brisbane, who
is one of our favourites and I'll explain why.
Hello.
Hey, is that Erica?
Oh my God, yes it is. Hello.
Hello, how are you?
Good, how are you?
Yeah, we're well. Ryan said you? Good. How are you?
Yeah, we're well.
Ryan said you're one of our favourites and I need to know why.
Well, where do you work, Erica?
I work at Arnott's.
The biscuits.
Arnott's. Yeah, I get it.
Doing God's work.
Yeah, I go to Coles and Woolies and, like, build all their displays and stuff.
Oh, that is cool.
That is really cool.
Yeah.
Creative.
Yeah, it is.
It pays the bills and we get free samples.
So what more could you want?
What are you rocking out?
What's the best free sample you've had this week?
Oh, I haven't had any this week.
I'd quit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Erica, will you approve this podcast episode?
Of course I will.
Woo-hoo!
Hey, it's Erica from Brisbane and I approve this podcast.
Friday Show.
Welcome.
Is also a video show.
Video show. So you can watch it on the Spotify app or if you're Spotify on your smart TV or whatever.
Yep.
Am I saying that right?
Yeah, or like in the app on your phone.
Yep.
It'll come up with like the little screen with like the little Wi-Fi dots and you can
like cast it to your TV.
Ah.
Yeah, I mean, bloody technology.
Technology.
2023.
Up here for thinking, down there for dancing.
That's a saying.
Is it?
Yeah, is it?
Up here for thinking, down there for dancing.
Like, my feet are for dancing, but my head's for brain.
That's 100% a thing.
Coming up today, if you know someone who's become a father,
here's what not to do.
Oh.
I feel like if you did it, you, Tony, might be able to get away with it with the right attitude.
Yeah, because I'm charismatic.
No, it's more of an energy than a charisma.
It'll make sense.
But my mum did tell me, and I was like, oh, no, that's not what we do here.
Is everything all good?
Oh.
Okay.
We'll get to it.
We'll get to it.
Okay.
But first, Tony's got a new job.
Well, thank you.
Thank you so much.
Well, I think that there is not a single person in the world or in this room that doesn't understand that like first day anxiety,
whether it's like first day of a new job, new school,
new mother's parents group or something.
Like, you know, I don't think there's anybody that hasn't gone,
I'm about to meet a bunch of new people or about to, you know,
I really want to make a good impression on my first day.
And I actually remember my first day at high school when I moved,
because I moved schools in year 10, which is like an odd time to move.
That's tough for you to move, yeah.
Yeah.
And because everybody had already made friends and mum and dad made me
catch the bus and I cried the whole way.
And I cried on my first day at school.
I talk about it in my book.
I was going to say you can read all about it.
It's a joyful story.
It is a whole chapter about me crying at school basically.
Anyway, I have just started a new job.
Thank you for the congratulations.
Keep going.
No, just kidding.
So it sounds like I've got a new job as if like I'm leaving this job.
Obviously not.
I'm just working.
Why are you staying here?
Don't.
Fuck.
Don't.
Don't. Don't. That's so nasty. When you said you've got a new job where you we started hiring
pony
imagine it was just a little horse sitting here Like that would be pretty funny.
Anyway, so I'm just like, you know how,
I don't really know how to explain it.
On Monday mornings, I go in there, I do a couple of breaks
with Ben, Liam and Bill on Nova.
Radio show in Melbourne.
Yeah, it's like a breakfast radio show.
I go in there and we talk about something for, yeah.
You're a regular guest.
Yeah, a regular guest.
So like, you know how you do Channel 7 and you kind of just go in there and we talk about something for, yeah. You're a regular guest. Yeah, a regular guest. So, like, you know how you do Channel 7 and you kind of just go in there,
it takes you a few minutes and you love it and it's fun,
you have a laugh and then you go home.
And you fuck off, yeah.
Yeah, pretty much that's what it is.
It's not a new job in the sense of it being like,
oh, I now have a 9 to 5.
Tony's now an accountant.
Yeah, or that I'm leaving the podcast.
Absolutely not the case.
But we're good mates with them.
Yep.
We've met them a lot of times, worked with them before.
Like they're a really great crew and I really like them.
But the thing about working on the radio and the same as when you go
and do TV is that like when you're on, you're on.
You like cannot be late.
Yes.
Because they go, well, if we turn the microphone on
and Tony's not standing there, then what happens?
Yeah.
It's just nothing.
Nothing happens.
Yeah.
So I realised that I was, like, pretty anxious about starting a new job
because I wanted to really impress people and do a good job and, you know,
spread the good word of our podcast as well.
Yep.
But also. Did they introduce you as Tony from the Tony and Ryan podcast? They say, like, good word of our podcast as well. Yep. But also.
Did they introduce you as Tony from the Tony and Ryan podcast?
They say, like, good friend of the show, Tony Lodge,
and then at the end they say you can catch Tony
at the Tony and Ryan podcast on Spotify.
Okay, great.
Kind of vibe.
Good.
I'd prefer them to have that up front.
All right.
I'll chat to them about that.
Did you want to ask my manager that you just self-decided?
I'll get that up front there.
Great.
Okay.
All right.
Well, I'll chat to them about that if you like and give you their phone number.
Yeah.
We have a group chat.
Really?
So it's like me, Ben, Liam, Bill and their EP.
Can you add me to the group chat?
No.
Okay.
No.
No, I won't be adding you to that.
Okay.
All professional correspondents will go through email, please.
Okay.
Anyway, so if you're not there, you're not there and it's fucked, basically.
So I can't be late.
Yeah.
I have to be there at 8.30 on a Monday morning.
Yep.
That's like a real dicey time for traffic.
Yeah, that's a shit time.
Yeah, because it's like-
Put me on at 6.30.
Well-
I know it's not prime time.
I'd have to then wake up quite early though, isn't it?
Yeah, but you'd be home in bed and finished for the day at 7.
Yeah, that's true.
That would be good actually.
Maybe I'd talk to them.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't want to be on at prime time anymore.
Probably in the morning, but earlier.
Yeah, trade the hour.
Yeah, we're handing out fucking cartons of dare ice coffee.
I'm down at the bloody Karen Street ramp.
Come down and see me.
Anyway, so I don't really have to deal with traffic very much
in my day-to-day life because I live really close to work.
So I either ride my scooter or I drive the two minutes.
You walked this morning.
I did walk this morning.
Thank you for saying that.
I was hoping that I would have to bring that up myself,
but you did it and thanks.
Well, the reason I know is because you've brought it up in the office
countless times. No, I reason I know is because you've brought it up in the office countless times.
No, I have not.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I got here this morning and you went, oh, you look a bit defeated.
And I was like, oh, I just walked here.
And then when else did I bring it up?
We were talking about a marathon and you were like, yeah,
that's why I walk to work because I'm training for our New York walk.
True.
So is that countless?
You can't count to two?
You know how good I am at maths and English.
That was actually very smart and like a great comeback for me.
That was.
Thanks.
Anyway, so I walked today.
Yep.
Most of the times I drive or catch my scooter, catch my scooter,
ride my scooter.
I just catch my scooter.
And so I was like, okay,
I don't really have to worry about traffic that much.
I don't really know how traffic works on that route.
Like, you know, when you drive a certain direction all the time,
you know kind of what the difference is going to be.
I had no fucking idea.
Did you go to the tunnel?
Yeah, Burnley Tunnel.
Yeah.
Oh, hang on.
No, it's the Burnley Tunnel on the way back,
but what is it on the way there?
Because you know how the Westgate is not the Westgate on the way back? Well, it actually is. Is it? But Burnley Tunnel on the way back, but what is it on the way there? Because you know how the Westgate is not the Westgate on the way back?
Well, it actually is.
Is it?
But you're going east on the way back.
Yeah.
Oh, we've talked about this.
Anyway.
It's the same tunnel.
So what's the tunnel on the way there?
It's there both, the Burnley Tunnel.
Is it both called that?
Yeah.
No, it's not.
It's the same tunnel.
It's one tunnel.
Is it?
Yeah, so there's two ways.
You can go one way or the other way.
It's like a street.
You know how streets you can go both ways?
Don't be a dick.
I'm just trying.
I don't know how to explain it.
It's not the same tunnel, though, is it?
Yeah.
The Burnley Tunnel, though.
Yeah, is the both of them.
No, no, no, no.
Hang on.
But the Burnley Tunnel comes out like at Burnley Street.
Yeah.
The tunnel the other way doesn't start at Burnley Street.
No, it goes a little bit further.
No, it starts like way past there.
At Punt Road.
So how is it the same tunnel?
Because they join up.
Do they?
Well, it's just, yeah, I don't know.
Oh, I actually, I'm not even being a dick.
Like I genuinely didn't know it was the same thing
because they're like different spots. They'd be similar underground at one stage, but yeah, they'm not even being a dick. Like I genuinely didn't know it was the same thing because they're like different spots.
They'd be similar underground at one stage,
but yeah, they pop out at different.
Oh, well, your story's really changing.
A second ago, they were all the exact same thing.
At the other end, they're exactly the same.
And then they.
Oh, and then they kind of part the other end.
I see what you mean.
If I find out there's another,
is there another name for the Burnley Tunnel?
I'm just looking at the wiki and it says the westbound tunnel
running parallel to the Burnley Tunnel is the Dom just looking at the wiki and it says the westbound tunnel running parallel to
the Burnley Tunnel is the Domain Tunnel.
Told you it was a different thing.
Sorry, could that be two separate tunnels?
There's more investigation. No. But it sounds
like there's three tunnels. And you've just actually...
I'd like an apology because I
knew that they weren't the same thing.
It appears...
Here we go.
It appears that the Burnley Tunnel going back to town
is actually called the Domain Tunnel.
Is that what I'm hearing?
And that it's not the same thing.
And it's not the same thing.
It appears that way.
Yeah.
Fuck tunnels.
We're going to get so many messages about this.
Fuck tunnels.
I'd like an apology.
I apologise, Tony.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You do go in at the same spot, though, at that end.
At the other end?
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess it is roughly the same.
Wait, no, it's not.
No, because you come out at, like, Warundry Drive.
Yeah.
You don't go in at Warundry Drive.
Yeah, you do.
No, you don't.
Yeah.
No, you don't.
Yeah.
No, because you go up onto the top part and then you go down. It goes down the same spot. Does it? Yeah. Okay, you don't. No, because you go up onto the top part and then you go down.
It goes down the same spot.
Does it?
Yeah.
Okay, anyway.
Obviously neither of us fucking know.
So you can understand how stressed I was trying to drive there
because listen to this kerfuffle.
Can I just add?
Yeah.
That if you didn't just hear us talk about tunnels for 15 minutes,
it's because we edited it out,
but Tony and I just talked about tunnels for 15 minutes.
That's staying in because you look like a fuckhead,
so it's staying in.
Anyway, so I find out that I'm starting this job.
I've got to be there at 8.30 on Monday morning.
I'm like, fuck, I actually can't fuck this up and just, like,
leave it to chance.
What time did you leave?
I left a week before I had to be there.
I left on Sunday.
No, the Monday before.
Yeah, I stayed there from my guest spot last week.
So I was like, all right, if I start this next Monday,
I'm going to do a like for like test.
You didn't.
Now, I don't have anywhere to be on this particular Monday.
So I was like, I'll wake up early and I'll drive down there
and I'll just see what the traffic's like. I woke up at the time that I guessed would be the right time.
And I went there. I can't believe you actually did this.
Yep. And then I went down, I drove in there and I was like, oh, the traffic's actually not so bad.
I've either missed it. Like maybe I've gone just before, hang on, maybe I've gone just before the
peak or just after the peak or something i get there and
there's all this parking i'm like oh my god this is fucking sweet yeah how good it was a public
holiday i was just about to say i know easter was a few weeks ago yeah no it was actually like so it
was like anzac day the day after yeah so people took like the full yeah yeah but i'm like fucking
how good traffic's a piece of piss.
Parking everywhere.
Also I was like, I don't have anything on today.
It's because it was fucking public holiday.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like probably could have put those two together.
When you said I don't have something on, I was like,
why don't you have something on?
Why weren't you working?
Yeah.
No, so I was like, I don't have anything on.
I'll just test this.
So did you realise that at the time or did you realise that when you went
to drive to Nova and you go, yep, so last time it took four minutes
and I got to park at the front door?
No, so I turned the radio on and they're like, oh,
well, everyone's taking the day off and I was like, ah, yeah.
I could tell.
I could tell.
At least you realised then and not.
So I was like, oh, my God, obviously like that's not a good test.
The Tuesday we had work, obviously.
So then I drove in again on the Wednesday.
Tony.
To test the traffic because I thought, oh, my God,
like I can't base it off the Monday because there was no traffic.
So I was like, okay, Wednesday, I'll do that to gauge.
So I woke up early, got in the car, drove to Nova in South Melbourne.
What?
Because I was like, I just need to know how long it's going
to take me to get there.
Otherwise, on the Monday, I'm going to be panicking
and I'm going to get there a fucking hour early
and then I'm never going to actually know what time I have to leave.
Okay.
And then I panicked myself because I was like, okay,
I've done it on Wednesday, made good time, maybe I just got lucky.
And I couldn't compare.
Allow yourself to accept.
Yeah, I couldn't allow myself to accept that.
And I also couldn't use the Wednesday and the Monday to compare
because the Monday was basically like a flawed experiment.
It's an outlier.
So I drove in again on Thursday.
Tony, get a hobby.
Do something.
Well, it was before my day had started because it's so early.
So I woke up early. Take the dog for a walk. had started because it was so early. So I woke up early.
Take the dog for a walk.
Well, I did that as well.
But I woke up early.
I drove in again on a Thursday and tested it and I was like,
yep, okay, this is a good time.
And so Monday, Wednesday and Thursday I drove there.
I probably could have fucking gone in there and just worked for them
just for free because I was already there.
Yeah, yeah.
Yep, so I drove in there and just worked for them just for free because I was already there. You were already there. Yep.
So I drove in there every day trying to guess how long we're taking.
When I say you need to get a hobby, I'm like actually not trying to be a dick.
But I do have hobbies.
I have stuff to do.
So you are being a dick.
The thing is, is that I was just like, otherwise, I'm just going to panic myself.
This is actually easier.
I would rather wake up early and do this test and know that I'm going
to get there at the right time.
Have I been late yet?
No.
Do I have a good spot to park?
Yes.
So after all this prep, run me through that first Monday
when you had to put it to the test.
So I went really early because I didn't want to be late.
That was the whole point of doing this and so you wouldn't do that.
But then I just knew like, oh, when I get to this point,
I'm probably about 10 minutes away.
So I knew that I could like.
Would you say the stress was less?
Yeah, because I was like, I know exactly where I'm going.
I know where to park.
I know where the building is, all that stuff.
Did you consider getting an Uber?
Oh, nah, because I just, do you know, I don't catch Ubers anymore
because they just, I always get cancelled on.
This is not me like trying to cancel big Uber or anything.
Well, they cancelled you.
I just have, nice, nice.
I just have had this worse luck lately and I just,
they always cancel me.
I booked one the night before to get to the airport not that long ago
and it cancelled on me and it just didn't turn up.
And I was like, I've already paid for it.
Like it's like a free trip for them.
Yeah.
It's already been paid for.
That happened to us the other day because Bridget can't drive
after the birth.
Yeah, of course.
And so she had to go somewhere and she was going to get an Uber
and they just didn't rock up.
Yeah.
So I would rather do four days' worth of driving than like chance it
on maybe being able to get an Uber.
See, that's my hobby.
Did you talk about this on their show?
No, I wanted to talk about it here first.
Oh, just to test out your material?
No, to get the scoop.
Oh, this is exclusive.
Yeah.
Exclusive, okay.
Exclusive.
Where is the tunnel in Melbourne?
Hey, it's Erica from Brisbane, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A massive shout-out to a few of our champion typers over at our Patreon.
Mac, Mac, Mac.
Mac, Mac, Maccy.
Oh, Maccy.
Zia Conlon.
Kate.
Sophie Marie.
Sophie Marie.
Sorry, Sophie.
Sophie Marie.
William Mayhood and Sarah Freeman.
Is she?
Freeman.
Next.
8 a.m. Melbourne time on Sunday.
Should we do a couple of drive tests to make sure that we're not late?
Is the premiere of Tony Lodge in I Still Call Australia Home.
And it will be like you'll be able to watch it when it hits play.
Yeah. Everyone, it'll be hitting play watch it when it hits play. Yeah.
It'll be hitting play for everyone, right?
Yeah.
Yep.
How cool.
So 8am Melbourne time, which will be sort of Saturday night in Europe and the US and stuff, so check that out.
We'll plaster it everywhere.
Don't worry about that.
8am AEST.
Australia.
What's the S?
Australian East is standard time.
Yeah.
Because otherwise it's AEDST, like Australian East and Daylight Savings Time,
which it's not anymore.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
What do you mean what's the S?
What the fuck?
No, I just never knew what that meant.
Because sometimes S means summer and sometimes it means standard,
but it's both an S.
No, neither of them are summer.
It's Daylight Savings or it's standard.
Neither's summer.
But you know how it's like sometimes summertime.
It is sometimes summertime, yeah, in life, yeah.
But no, it's daylight savings.
Yep.
Although wintertime.
Autumn sometimes as well.
It's often spring.
Well, it's not often spring.
About a quarter of the time.
Yeah, it's an equal quarter.
All of them are the same.
Not actually exactly the same.
Welcome to Bridges tunnels and weather chat and time.
One of the hot shows.
What time is it for you?
We're taking a course.
Jenny in the Burnley Tunnel.
I've started doing breakfast radio.
This is actually, and we can do it because our audience
is scattered all over the fucking place.
We could actually do a segment where people call us and chat
and we try to figure out what time it is where they are.
That sounds like torture, to be honest,
because I've seen you try and figure out the times.
Just then isn't even included.
I've seen you try and figure out time zones before and it's not good.
As someone who calls the approvers, I'm not good with area codes.
Yeah, not good with area codes, not good with times.
Times, yeah.
Scrap the idea.
Oh, we were about to do it.
Yeah.
Instead, let's do more parking chat.
Oh, you need a hobby.
It's you.
Keep going.
Sorry.
Blow up.
Sunday, 8am Melbourne time, wherever the fuck you are,
figure it the fuck out.
So good.
Oh, this is fucking crook.
I actually feel sick.
Don't what? What?
feel sick. Don't what?
If someone you know becomes a father, don't do to them
what my mum did to me.
Well, I'm trying to
guess how your mum Mandy would have
been. She would have just been excited.
And I want to put this in the category of
meant well. 100%
great intentions.
See, whenever people say, oh, they meant well, it's never good, is it?
It really isn't.
It really isn't.
And I still actually haven't, like, told or corrected my mum.
I'll have to.
Oh, so she is still in – she listens to this podcast.
I know.
I've just realised that.
Before we upload this soon, I'll give her a heads up.
But it wasn't good.
And I shared with Bridget what she did and Bridget was like.
I feel like are you building this up because nothing could be that bad.
Is it actually that bad?
Okay.
I'm going to show you what my mum sent me the morning
after my daughter Mabel was born.
Yep.
But I want you to experience how I experienced it.
Holding a baby?
No.
Have I got a stunt baby?
I just had a sip of coffee and mum messaged me
and as I had the sip, I looked at my phone.
And I want to know if you react the same way I did.
So you've got a coffee cup there.
Yeah.
Have a sip.
I don't want to waste this.
Have a sip and then read what my mum sent to me after you've had a sip.
Okay.
All right.
So hang on.
Let me try and – so I'll have a sip.
Yep.
But do I have to then hold it in my mouth?
Have a sip, hold it, and then read the text.
All right. I'm having a sip.
That's the same thing I did.
I thought it was our text, guys.
It's the same thing I did.
Do you want to share with everyone?
It's so lovely and very nice.
No, I actually can't hear you.
I'm going to block my ears and you read it out.
I can't.
I can't.
Ryan's mum, Mandy, texts him at 9.13am saying,
good morning, daddy, with a love heart
emoji.
I still heard it through my hands.
She obviously meant like
I know what she
meant. We all know what
she meant. But it's just the
yeah.
That's my mum.
That's my mum. And you're her
daddy. Sorry, that was fucked.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Yeah, and I can imagine you taking the sip.
That's what happened.
The coffee landed how it landed for you.
Everywhere?
Yeah.
I don't like it.
The thing is that.
Even to bring it up with her, and she did it a few times
because I didn't stop her, but even me telling her, imagine how.
Because you liked it.
Sorry.
That's my mum.
Sorry, I know.
I don't know how to act around mums, so I don't get it.
Because obviously it's incredibly clear that obviously
what she meant was to be fucking adorable.
Like, you're a dad.
Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you.
However, the colloquialism of, like, saying daddy.
Horny girls have hijacked the word daddy.
Yeah, they have.
Yeah.
And they should be.
Sorry.
Did you fart? Sam, they have. Yeah. And they should be. Sorry.
Did you fart?
Cam, did you fart?
All this daddy chants just got Camel worked up.
Yeah, he's just queefed out his arsehole.
His fucking little arsehole.
Like, Cam loves dog.
You hear daddy and you go.
I'm ready to go.
He did a fart.
Did a little fart.
Are you okay?
My elbow on the table.
You farted in your elbow?
Oh, my God.
The thing is, you know how, in theory.
Oh, you know how your mum got.
Yeah, I get it.
Yeah.
Watching like a sex scene in a movie with your family
and you're just a bit like, no one mentioned it.
I even am like that with Torbs.
I'm like looking, I'm like, we do that sometimes.
I'm like, I can't keep it in.
I'm even, like, overreacting now.
My jaw hurts from laughing. Yeah.
Daddy.
Laughing.
Laughing.
Is that his nickname?
I thought his name was Torps.
Don't camel fart again.
I'm actually in pain.
I think I've got locked jaw
daddy likes that for me to explain why it's probably not cool to say I would then have to
have a conversation about that that with mum yeah so I don't want to have that chat but I also
would rather fucking die than hear it come from her mouth again. Yeah.
So the day that I came and visited you guys, I, like, walked in
because I brought, like, lots of food with me and stuff.
You did. Thank you very much.
And I put all the stuff on the table and Bridget was, like,
sitting on the couch.
You were feeding Mabel at the time.
I let myself in. I always do. And Bridget was sitting on the couch. You were feeding Mabel at the time. I let myself in.
I always do.
And Bridget was sitting on the couch.
You were on the other end of the couch holding Mabel.
And I said, oh, hi, Mum, to Bridget.
Yeah.
Is that okay?
Yeah.
Because I didn't go, hey, Mummy.
Was that?
Well, I think even Mummy is not the same as.
Oh, hey, Mamacita.
I don't know.
Like is there.
But is that okay?
Yeah.
Because I feel like that was sweet.
It is sweet.
Okay.
And even if you said, oh, look, it's mum.
Oh, hey, dad.
Like, I think it's just.
It's the morning daddy with the emoji as well.
There is a lot happening in here today.
We've got farts and burps and fucking.
I actually thought I was about to throw up.
It's just not, it doesn't sit with me.
Daddy, I don't, and I don't like it from anyone.
No.
Like.
Do you know where I do like it though?
Call her daddy.
Like whenever I think about that, I'm like, she's hot and powerful.
Alexis Cooper.
Yeah.
Well, I think that's.
Alex Cooper.
Alex Cooper.
Is her name Alexis?
No.
Is her name just Alex?
Sorry.
I feel really bad that I've just.
Spotify's own.
Yeah, I know.
No, it's just Alex Cooper.
Sorry.
I don't know why I said Alexis Cooper.
Sorry.
I feel like that's saying I know what this word means and I'm turning it on its head.
Totally.
Whereas mum.
Yeah.
But it's hard because you know that she just, like you said,
I know she means well but it makes me want to throw up.
Yeah.
Yeah, just seeing the good morning dad.
I think about what was going through Mandy's mind at the time
and that she's gone, I'm so proud of my son.
Good morning, Dad.
Yeah.
Like, you know.
And it was literally the morning after.
Yeah.
So that's beautiful.
And then I just think, oh, you don't know what that means.
Now she's going to say what does it mean.
I'm going to go, oh, I don't want to have this conversation.
Google it.
No, I don't want my mum Googling that.
Yeah, Urban Dictionary.
No.
Mandy?
Maybe Mandy could go on Urban Dictionary.
She'll learn some things.
She doesn't need to learn.
I just, yeah.
That really caught me off guard.
I wasn't expecting that at all.
I didn't know what to expect, but I wasn't expecting that.
And I didn't think it would be that bad, but it is.
Thank you, thank you.
I've got to love to see it as well, just because
I need to just really move on here.
That's fine.
This guy has, oh,
there's this app called Be My Eyes.
Have you heard of it? No. So basically
you get a FaceTime,
you get FaceTime calls from blind
people when they need help.
Oh. So
they're trying to read the back of a packet or something and they go, oh.
So this guy signed up.
His name's Steve.
Hi, Steve.
Lovely guy.
And he said, I just got my first call and helped this lady because she had to pick out
the almond milk.
But of course, when you're in the milk aisle, they're just all bottles.
And the cartons all feel the same because they're the same size.
Yeah.
So he just gets this call.
And so it's basically just her FaceTiming going, oh, which one's the almond?
And he goes, oh, hey, it's just the one on the left.
She's like, this one? He's like, yep. She's like, oh thank you
I really appreciate your help. And he's like, no worries
have a great day. What a wonderful
app. It is. Oh, when you
hear a good idea, aren't you so fucked off you didn't come
up with it yourself? Yes, absolutely.
What apps are you working on at the moment?
I'm not working on any apps at the moment.
Should I be grinding?
I know.
When you say, I wish I had that idea, I was like, what?
Oh, no.
When you just go, fuck, what a great idea.
Like, someone's come up with that and I'm just a piece of shit.
I'm just driving to work every day and I don't even have work that day.
You know, like, I'm just fucking, I'm really not doing that well at the moment.
Yep.
You're not a piece of shit.
You brighten my day, Cam's day and everyone else's day every single day. Thank you. I wasn't not doing that well at the moment. Yep. You're not a piece of shit. You brighten my day, Cam's day, and everyone else's day every single day.
Thank you.
I wasn't looking for that.
Can that be my love to see?
Because that was really nice.
I've got one.
Okay.
It wasn't me just putting it in.
You can have two.
My love to see it is a...
And you look great today.
Thank you.
Your hair looks really nice.
Thank you.
And I love the low cut of that top.
See, now you're in daddy territory.
And you're doing that to me.
What?
Don't.
I thought I looked cute.
You do.
Oh, thank you.
The cute's not the word I'd use.
I'd use the words hot as fuck.
Oh, that's really nice.
Ken, what do you think?
Do you think I look hot as fuck?
Always.
Oh, that's nice.
You're my reason for masturbating.
Oh, he's farted again.
You're my reason for masturbating today.
That's actually really nice.
I really appreciate that.
My recommendation for my You Love To See It, I had this right and then I Googled it to
make sure that I had the show title right and it has been panned online.
Are you going to back it in though? It's like zero fucking stars been panned online. Are you going to back it in, though?
It's like zero fucking stars on IMDb.
Are you going to back it in?
It's not good.
I am because I just think it's like a bit dumb and fun.
So you know how you and Cam and I, all three of us,
you know how we have talked about the show alone on the podcast?
There's this new show on Netflix called Outlast,
and it's kind of similar vibe except there's, like,
a bunch of people, they get dropped in the Alaskas,
and they kind of get, like, drops every so often,
and they have to keep themselves alive,
but they're also, like, battling the other team,
so it gets a little bit, like...
Competitive?
Competitive and a bit, like, dicey.
Is it, like, Survivor?
I've never seen Survivor.
Okay.
Sorry.
I don't know if it is the same.
Well, I don't think so.
I think this is like, because this is like sub-zero temperatures
overnight and stuff, so they actually like fully have to.
It's called Outlast.
Outlast, yeah.
But then I saw online that like it got really fucking panned.
But I thought it was kind of similar areas to what we've talked about before.
Is it too similar?
Is it blow-up versus Lego Masters territory?
Oh, I mean, maybe.
I love the one, so I'll give it a look because I'm into that stuff at the moment.
Well, it was just kind of like a good show to, like, have on in the...
You didn't really need to, like...
But some of the ways that they like hunt and like build
shit is like really interesting.
And all the people on the show have really different backgrounds.
So one of the people is like an IT person.
One of the people is like actually like a survivalist.
You know, so they've all got really different backgrounds.
When you were saying before that that person invented a great app, we're just pieces of
shit.
I never realized, like I know I'm not, like,
a handy guy around the house and I'm not, like,
overly physically practical with stuff,
as evidenced by me constructing that sentence.
And you're going...
Yeah.
So when I see these shows and they go,
oh, this hasn't worked, so I built a boat out of a fucking thing
or this was broken, so I just put this thing in
and you just go, wow.
I struggle to cook with the pan.
I struggle to call a guy to fix that.
Yeah.
Let alone do it myself.
I go, oh, I'll call him.
Yeah, it's impressive though, eh?
Yeah, it's amazing.
But the show, like, yeah, it hasn't been received well online,
but it's a bit of good garbage, I think.
Okay.
Well, we'll all find out.
Yeah.
We'll all find out.
All right.
This weekend, I still call Australia home.
8am AEST.
Yeah.
Which stands for?
Australian Eastern Standard Time.
Fucking.
I take it back.
I am handy.
You are handy.
I'll give you a handy.
I'll give you a handy.
But yeah, please enjoy the movie this weekend.
I'm really excited for people to watch it.
Yeah.
All right.
Chat to you on Monday.
Love you.
Bye.