Toni and Ryan - Toni's Public Statement
Episode Date: May 3, 2023I have to make a statement. NOT AN APOLOGY - but a statement. Love ya! Toni xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links t...o order Toni's book here!Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, bestselling author, Dr. Tony Lodge.
And we are calling Briz Vegas. And we are calling Jason.
Jason. Jason.
Hello?
Jason, it's Tony and Ryan.
Hey, how are you?
We're great.
How are you, Jason?
What have we caught you doing?
I'm at Sydney.
I'm at the beach.
Oh.
Day off?
On holiday.
Yeah, on holiday.
Am I right?
Because you're from Brisbane, right?
Or have I stuffed that up?
No, you're about an hour out of Brisbane.
Okay, great.
And you're on holiday.
That sounds nice.
Living the dream.
Yeah, well, start the podcast, book the holiday.
Love that.
Start the fucking blog about my travels.
Yep.
Beautiful.
So I've got a question, Jason, about your job.
Now, it says you're an online shopper.
Now, is that like a job title or are you just saying,
I just sit at home and buy shit?
I love to buy stuff.
No, no, I work at Coles.
I'm an online shopper.
So do you pick all the orders?
Yes.
Now, how do you feel if you were to categorise all the people
that work in the Coles supermarket about the people that work at the Dally?
Because that's where Tony used to work.
Are they like the popular ones?
Be careful, Jason, by the way.
But, yes, which one?
What would you say?
It depends on what store you're at.
It does depend.
But in your experience, what have you found?
In my last store, it was the deli.
The store I'm at now is definitely not the deli.
It's the online department because I'm in it.
Oh, I'm not right.
Yeah, actually.
But that's biased.
Yeah.
Yeah.
In fact, you know, this is an untrue jury.
Yeah, this isn't a safe experiment.
Yeah, okay, okay.
Jason, will you approve the podcast?
Of course I will.
Sweet.
This is Jason from Brisbane and I approve this podcast.
All right, welcome to the show.
Coming up today.
I've been called out in my own home.
I don't love to see it, but I think that maybe I need to make an official statement.
An apology?
No.
I won't be apologizing because that admits defeat.
I think I just need to maybe make a bit of a statement and do with that what you will.
Who called you out?
Was it Torbs?
Was it Pippa?
Was it me?
It was Torbs.
Okay.
And he was like, it's time for an honest chat?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yep.
It's gone down in my house and not in a good way.
All right.
That's coming up soon.
But first, Normal or Nah?
People submit their Normal or Nahs
to the Tony and Ryan Facebook group.
Everyone's welcome.
Everyone's welcome.
And what I love to see is in the thread of Normal or Nahs,
people replying with their own stories and stuff.
I love that too.
Because some of them go off.
I love that too.
So I go, oh, what's this comment?
It's got 25 replies.
And you go, fuck it, we're on here.
And you go, that's obviously stirred up the birds.
Yep, yep.
No, that's not what I'm saying. Sorry. You tried to go with that and I was like, fuck, we're on here. And you go, that's obviously stirred up the birds. What? No, that's not what I'm saying.
Sorry.
You tried to go with that and I was like, no, I'm going to call myself out again.
I nodded with confidence and said, if she knows what she's saying.
Fucking cop that.
Anyway.
Montana asks, normal or nah?
Hi, Montana.
Taking your socks off by dragging your feet backwards along the carpet.
You're like doing the moonwalk.
My husband claims he's not flexible enough to bend over and take the socks off himself.
This drives me crazy because he leaves his toe jam bits all over the carpet and it's disgusting.
Normal or nah?
Oh, I mean, you're obviously doing, how is the toe jam coming out?
Do you mean just like the lint that you get on your feet from wearing socks and stuff?
Yeah, and just all the smells of your feet are getting not only like rubbed, dragged on, but like pushed into the floor.
So I'm going to say nah, because I don't do that.
You know what I do?
I'm a step on the end of the sock and pull it back, girl.
Yeah, you would be.
Because it depends on what pants I'm wearing as to whether I can bend down.
So if you're wearing a tight denim, you're like, well, there's no chance.
Well, that's not going to happen.
Yeah, I'm definitely – didn't we only just discuss like shoving your foot back in a
shoe that the laces are still done was that last week yeah that annoys me so much yeah so i like
i um i'm just trying to think of how to explain this step down on the heel of my shoe pull my
foot out step down with my other foot on the toe of the sock and then slide my foot out of the sock
i had to shut my eyes just then to think about what I actually did.
I haven't seen you shut your eyes to think about something
since we were doing maths.
Remember a few weeks ago?
I thought you were going to say like nothing.
Sorry.
No.
You don't need to concentrate when you're being starfish, sweetheart.
What are you concentrating on?
Fuck all.
Yeah.
It's hard work laying here.
Yeah.
What are you concentrating on?
Fuck all.
Yeah.
It's hard work laying here.
Yeah.
Because I struggle to find jeans that fit.
Yeah.
Because I've got like a big butt.
Yeah.
And thick thighs.
Mate, tell me about it, sweetheart.
Yeah.
But then, so if I get jeans that fit my butt and my thighs, they end up being three feet too long and it's like I'm wearing flares.
Yeah.
I can't find that middle ground.
So my thing is that they fit me on the bum or the thighs,
but then they're way too big on my waist because I've got
like a tiny little waist.
Yeah.
So then as soon as I lean forward, there's like a fucking Grand Canyon
gap between my actual back and the jeans.
Can someone fix that?
Can you tell me if this is fucked up or not?
Yeah.
Always.
There's a whole show basically that
we based around me telling you if i had done i didn't do the thing but if i did it would have
been fucked up okay so this girl had a similar shape to you yep um so hot as fuck yeah hot as
fuck um but she had like jeans that were big enough for the booty but they kind of cinched
in at the waist yeah and and i like. Where'd you get those from?
And even to say like, they're a fucking great fitting pair of jeans.
Yeah, no, you can't.
Yeah, you can't.
You can't say that.
Okay, okay, glad I checked.
Glad I checked.
No, you can't be saying that.
Yeah.
Can you imagine?
But they were.
Because I can imagine she would have been through the pain that we're being through.
Oh, yeah.
And I'm like, you found your way out of this hole, girl, and I'm fucking here for it.
Yeah, and I love it.
Except it sounds a little bit like, you know, when you go,
oh, they're a fantastic fit and peridot, and she goes, excuse me?
And you go, sorry, I'm into fashion.
You know, like how are you going to get out of that situation?
Can I tell you where I met her?
Do you then go, oh, no, it's just that you've got a similar shape to my friend.
She really struggles with mine.
Like, you know,
how do you talk yourself
out of that situation?
If I tell you where I met her,
it makes it even worse.
Oh, yeah.
I don't even,
I feel like I want to whisper it to you
and you decide if I say it
out loud on the pod.
No, say it.
Back it in.
She was doing an examination
on Bridget.
She worked at the hospital.
Doctors wearing jeans.
Midwife.
Midwife, okay.
Was it the person we both know?
Our mutual friend?
No, no.
Oh, okay.
I was like, oh, you could have told her that.
Yeah.
No, I just met her.
Yeah.
No, I think Bridget could have.
Yeah.
If Bridget went, fuck, they're a great pair of jeans.
You can't.
Because it would have been like, oh, they fit great on the ass.
You know, that's kind of the energy that I'm feeling it would have.
Bridget mentioned it later.
Oh, that they were a great pair of jeans.
And you went, oh, who?
The yellow cap.
What?
It doesn't matter.
I'm glad I checked with you because.
Yeah.
What are we talking about?
Oh, yeah, no
Okay. Oh, you said I can never find
jeans that fit me well because I said
that, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so
Sorry, live brainstorm.
The solution, which is not an
ideal one, but you know how there's like different cotton
threads and counts and shit in jeans
It's like, oh, this one's 80% cotton and 20%
fucking whatever.
Oh, polyester or denim or whatever.
And so sometimes I'll get a jean that's like got a bit more Alistain.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So it's a bit of stretch around the bits.
More of a stretchy one.
Yeah, and it'll – but so –
You've got a bit of give then.
Yeah, but now I've worn these every day for like a year
and the elastic is really stretched out.
They get real saggy on the bum
don't they yeah um and so this lady says oh he takes his socks off by dragging on the floor
my new trick is is deciding at the bedroom that i want to take my jeans off and then i walk down
to the lounge and if i just like swivel my hips by the time i get there my pants will be around
my ankles and i find that hilarious and bridge like, pull your fucking pants up, you fucking dickhead.
And I'm like, look how funny it is.
I didn't even touch it.
And then your socks just come off with your jeans anyway,
and everyone's a winner.
Yeah, and she goes, well, you can stay here in your underwear
in the lounge room.
I'm going to bed, and don't you dare follow me.
Yeah, you can sleep on the couch, sweetheart.
All right, the big twig.
Oh, the big twig.
He asks, normal or nah, putting a seatbelt around your bag of groceries
and putting them in the front seat of your car instead of putting them
in the boot because you will want them to arrive safer.
Normal.
I drive safer with takeaway on the front seat than I do with a person.
And I think that that's just a given for most people.
Normal or not.
People can defend themselves, but that pizza is innocently.
That pizza could just slide straight around.
Slam the brakes on.
Yeah.
Never saw it again.
You know when you've got your pizza or your Chinese or something
in the front seat and you've kind of got one hand on the thing
or like your Maccas is in there and you go, oh, and you've you kind of got one hand yeah on the thing yeah or like your
maccas is in there and you go oh and you really slowly go around the corner you really slowly
pull up to the lights yeah i just don't i think that that should be how like l-platers learn to
drive you should learn to drive with a pizza in the front seat and you'll never be in an accident
and i've always said that i couldn't i actually couldn't agree more. My wife Bridget loves
a fur. Oh, and
that's risky to drive with. Is it?
Is it? That's fucking risky.
Oh, sorry, here's a bowl of water.
Fucking good luck, mate. I hope there's no
fucking speed bumps on the fucking
freeway. So when the time comes for
us to drive home from the hospital, just make
sure you take it. I've actually driven with pumpkin soup
on the front seat of this car.
I won't be told how to drive.
Thank you very much.
Oh, well, that's great.
So now you've got a baby seat in the car.
Your pizza will never go anywhere.
I can strap it in.
The ultimate test.
Andy, ask normal or nah, blow drying your genitals.
I was in the change rooms at the gym,
and this bloke is sitting on the bench,
fully naked, legs akimbo,
with the hairdryer on full blast,
giving the boys a big warm hug.
Normal or nah?
Asked Andy.
I'm going to say nah.
It feels like a little bit of a task, Dandy. I'm going to say nah. It feels like a delicate area that you wouldn't, you know,
want to set the hairdryer too hot, too cold, whatever.
The thing is, is that I understand that people want to be comfortable
and they might want to blow dry their genitals.
And who am I to say no?
You can't be doing that at the gym though.
For me.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, I think we can all agree that on a cold morning,
a bit of warm air and some air is...
What a nice little touch.
Yep.
For me, it's the audacity...
Of doing that in public.
...in the gym with your legs spread...
And not just like...
Not just a quick whoop.
Like, pull your pants up the shorts,
but actually just sitting there bare butt on a bench,
naked in a public bathroom.
It's bold, isn't it?
How you going, mate?
Yeah.
See you at the squash court.
If you know what I'm saying.
Yeah.
We'll slap a few balls around.
Yeah.
Yeah, mate.
Is your wife coming down today?
Or should we go on down later?
You know, like lad chat in the bathroom?
Yeah.
And he's got his cock out with the blow dryer.
I have once been blow drying.
Stay with me.
Please.
I have once been blow drying my hair.
And you know how in a fucking rental.
And you accidentally did a cartwheel and fucking shit hit the fan.
No.
You know how in a rental house there's never any bench space in the bathroom?
Oh, yeah.
I don't know what it is, but I've never lived in it.
It's actually against the law.
It must be.
Yeah.
Because I've never lived in a rental that had like a proper base.
So when they do the housing code, they go, yeah, bench space, 35 centimeters.
Cool.
Oh, is this an owner-occupied?
And they go, no, it's a rental.
I go, you're going to have to fucking fix that.
Yeah, I wouldn't have thought so.
Yeah, you might have to shop that now.
Yeah.
I hope you put that on your home buyer's grant or fucking whatever.
Anyway, and so because there's never enough room,
I once was bloated and this was like with the old hair dryers that had the –
Yep.
I can already see.
Yep.
That had like the metal grate on the back.
They don't have those anymore.
Thank God.
But like they have the metal on the back and it got really fucking hot
and I went to put the hair dryer down on the basin and it kind of like hot. And I went to put the hairdryer down on the basin
and it kind of like slid off.
And I was like, oh.
And I grabbed it and I put it between my legs
so that I could quickly like resection my hair or whatever.
And I not only got the fright of my life from the hot air going up me puss-wa.
But I got a massive burn on my thigh from the metal grate on the back. Yeah, fuck.
So I end up with this big blister on my thigh.
Yeah.
The hot air up the arsehole.
And my hair was still wet.
Well, not all wet.
And my hair was still wet.
Well, not all wet.
You know?
Yeah, we do now.
Hey, this is Jason from Brisbane and you're listening to the podcast.
A big shout out to a few of our champion tubbers over at our Patreon.
Yep.
Marcus Witteson, thank you very much.
Thank you.
Lisa M. Bray, Arturo Neal, Suzanne, and Liana Brutitinaton.
Oh, Luda Brunanoletti. Yeah, Liana Brunatina-Tom. Oh, Luda Brunana-Leddy.
Yeah, Liana Brunatina-Tom.
She's 30 soon.
Is she?
Yes, she is.
So are you guys?
Same age.
Same birthday?
No, no, no, no.
Because wouldn't that be an amazing coincidence?
Same year.
Oh, what?
Oh, what?
Can you believe out of the millions of babies born in 1993 that we are?
And I was one of them and I was the other one.
So I need to make a bit of a statement here.
I've been called out in my own home and I really didn't like it.
No.
Especially in your own home.
No.
Your safe space.
That's my safe area, you know.
Especially in your own home.
No.
Your safe space.
That's my safe area, you know.
I'd like to rewind to a little while ago in the podcast where it's become a bit of a running joke.
But I told a story about how when my boyfriend, my beautiful, handsome boyfriend.
Is that your husband?
Lovely boy.
No.
Okay.
My boyfriend.
Partner.
Does that sound a bit like grown up?
A little bit.
We've been together for like nine years.
Doing it for 10.
Doing it for 10.
That every time he orders a package online, I get the minute by minute, update by update,
play by play of where the package is in the world.
And where?
And one time it happened when i told this story yeah uh the package had kind of come from somewhere in america and then gone to somewhere like the opposite say it
was in new york and then it went to la then it went back to kentucky yeah it's always kentucky
and he was dumbfound he got well why would I go back in that direction?
And he was sharing that information with me in a loving
and beautiful, caring way.
And where were you at in terms of interest and patience?
I really zeroed out on both.
Like your account the day before payday.
Like fucking hitting double zeros.
And I said, mate, like I could not actually give a fuck.
And he went oh and so now
he doesn't really tell me about so he's like a puppy scorned yeah you yelled him once and then
they're like oh okay you don't want to play with me i get it yeah a little bit and now when he
sheepish now when he goes to do it he goes oh sorry like i don't like and not in the like oh
sorry i shouldn't tell you that it's like oh sorry actually it doesn, and not in the like, oh, sorry, I shouldn't tell you that. It's like, oh, sorry, actually, it doesn't matter.
And I'm like, no, mate, tell me about your past.
Oh, now you're backtracking.
Yeah.
And I'm throwing the U-turn.
Yeah.
But the pizza's in the front, so I'm doing carefully.
Just very slowly.
So you and I have shared many a post office gripe.
Yep.
In the past.
Are you on speaking terms with Australia Post?
Because I know the relationship has been rocky.
It has been rocky.
I know we then met a tarpa who worked for Australia Post in Brisbane
and that was like an awkward situation because you're like,
I know that you love the pod, but I know that I hate your employer
and it was like a very, it was awkward to be there.
It was a little bit awkward.
James is his name.
Lovely man.
Lovely guy.
Oh, you've changed your tune?
No, he's lovely.
Doesn't mean I like the logo on his shirt.
But where are we at with Australia Post?
So we've shared many a post office gripe.
And basically the other day I split my pants.
Split.
Not shit.
Split.
Split.
Whereabouts?
In the thigh.
So pretty commonplace for me to split my pants.
Were you dropping it?
No, I wasn't.
I actually was.
Trying to take your socks off?
I was here.
Really?
I was with you.
And you split your pants?
No, I'm asking about.
I would remember that.
And I said something.
Maybe Cam was here and I'd left earlier.
Oh, my God.
No, it wasn't here.
It was I was playing a card game with someone.
So not the same thing at all.
This sounds like the most bogus story.
I was playing cards.
Yeah.
That exploding kitten game that I was telling you about.
Oh, yeah.
And I laughed so hard and reached for the cards and the pants split.
Oh, and that would have ended your night.
Right before I was getting on a plane.
Well, that's why I've always said never play card games before flight.
And I've heard that.
And you can Google that and you can find that out.
Anyway, so I was about to fly home and I was like, holy shit,
like I'm going to need to buy some new pants.
These are my favourite pants.
So it was pretty urgent.
I needed them.
And also I was expecting some books to arrive, probably about 10 books.
And so it ended up-
10?
Yeah.
What's happened?
From my publisher because I recently wrote a book.
Oh, they're your books?
They're not my books, but the publisher kind of goes,
oh, like our 10 best books for the year or-
Oh, and they send all the authors?
And they send, yeah, like a little-
Because I know that
you get guilty if someone buys your book that you feel compelled to buy their book so if you're now
i can be like oh yeah so i thought you had the guilt and just jumped on amazon and bought everyone
and by the way anyone listening if you've written a book and you need sales buy tony's and tag her
and then tell me and then i'll feel awful and have to buy yours yours. I mean, that's one of the, I'm an MBA student and you can see why.
These are the marketing strategies we learn.
Actually.
So I knew that the pants were coming
and I knew that the books were coming.
And obviously the books.
Huge box.
Big fucking box of books.
You know, I was working in the office.
Torbs was like here in the studio.
Torbs, my partner, was working at home.
And I get a notification that both parcels have lined up
and they're both going to be dropped off at the same time, like today.
Right?
Which, how lucky.
And because Torbz like works in the office most of the week,
I work in the office most of the week,
so I ended up being really lucky that he was going to be at home.
Anyway, so I get a notification that like it was dropped off and that's fine i get home and there's one tiny parcel on the table as in like torbs had brought it in and it
was something that like i wasn't like it was like a pr package that i wasn't expecting
and i go oh where's the other parcels yeah there was a combo because there should have
been a massive box of book like i've hidden them because i obviously would be able to see them as
i walked in i go where are the other parcels he goes oh that's all the guy brought and i went
nah no no it said that they were dropped off so are they maybe down in the mail room or something
i'll go down and look and toms is like oh maybe but like no one rang the bell except for the guy with only the one parcel yeah i look in
the app and it says awaiting collection it's been taken to the post office no no what do you mean
what do they mean what what do they mean? What do they mean?
What do they fucking mean?
And instantly, I'm like, there was someone fucking home.
Home.
There's also the post.
You've dropped a different parcel off.
So hang on.
He's holding two parcels and puts one down and goes,
oh, I wonder what to do with this other one.
Better take it back to the shop.
Yeet it back to the fucking post office.
Don't say yeet, mate.
Sorry.
You're way too old for that.
I am too old for that.
And I don't even think that young people say that anymore.
I like that you tried.
I'm just so frustrated because like instantly my head is like,
what am I going to do?
Like go and fucking carry all those books back.
Like the guy's got a trolley.
I was like, that'll be easy.
Talk to him.
Give me a hand with the thing up.
I'm like, I don't have time to like go and fucking do this right now.
That is why you pay for delivery.
And I get this is like fucking first world problems or whatever,
but you pay for delivery so that it gets dropped off at your house
because it's the convenience.
That's what I need.
Otherwise, I would get a PO box.
So I bought shit the other day and it said,
do you want to collect it from the warehouse?
Zero dollars.
Or do you want it delivered 20 bucks?
And you go, yeah, I'll spend the 20 bucks.
Because you go, fuck.
But if I had to spend 20 bucks and still go get it,
I may as well have just clicked go get it in the first place.
I paid you 20 bucks to drop it at my house.
Right.
I split my pants playing cards.
It's urgent. What am I going to Winnie the Pooh it over to house. Right. I split my pants playing cards.
It's urgent.
What am I going to winnie the pooh it over to the shops because I've got no pants because the pants are at the shops?
I'd love to see that.
So I obviously immediately get very fucked off.
You may have even seen this on Instagram.
I'm just going to play you a little video.
I'm just walking to the post office because even though someone was home,
they didn't ring the f***ing bell.
Don't be fooled by the songbird of our generation and her beautiful sound.
We've met zero to a hundred, Tony,
and that is a passive aggressive song if I ever once heard one.
And so I f***ing walk across the post office and i'm fucked off and it's not the people
at the post office's fault like it often is no it's actually what was last time but it's obviously
not their fault because like they just reset and it's also shit because the people at the post
office have to do more work because they hand write like the so that they can like who's got
worse handwriting delivery guys or doctors on prescriptions. Sorry.
I'm actually just going to let that go.
So I go to the post office.
I see the fucking box of books and the bag from the iconic with my fucking
pants in it.
I'm like,
fuck,
I've got to carry these all the way home.
I get home.
I'm hot.
I'm sweaty.
I'm really fucked off.
And I get home and I go,
and I can't believe they haven't rung the fucking bell.
Torps is like working from home and I'm just fucking losing it yeah and then he kind
of like goes well tony you know what you gave me a lot of shit for updating you play by play play
by play on where my parcels were in the world. But the amount of fucking times I have to hear about how pissed off you are
with them not knocking on the door and your dramas with the fucking post office.
I just think you should think about that.
And he sits back down at his desk in our fucking spare room,
which is a home office now because of fucking lockdown.
Puts his headphones on, goes back to work.
Oh, I'll just leave you to sit with that one.
He left me on red in real life.
He drops that bomb and ghosts me.
Okay, now I've got mixed emotions because, A,
that is an aggressive move from Torps,
who's usually quite a calm and considered person.
That is aggressive.
Yeah.
That is rude.
It's passive aggressive, isn't it?
It's very pointed.
Yeah, yeah.
But on the other hand, I mean, is he wrong?
No.
And so I would just like to say, not sorry.
That's why I'm making a statement, not an apology.
Oh, who's the politician now?
You accused someone else of being a politician the other week.
I'm saying that I acknowledge that, yes, I did get pissed off
with Torbz telling me about his play-by-play with the parcels.
Yep.
I also acknowledge that, yes, I get fucked off about the post system.
Yep.
Not one company in particular.
Most of them are pretty bad.
Yeah, you don't need a single one out because they're all fucked.
You know, none of them fucking ring the bell.
So, you know, there's no name and shame in here because it would take me all day
so i would just like to acknowledge that those two things are true
thank you do you feel um whilst obviously embarrassed and somewhat defeated yeah is
there kind of this um you know that final scene in the movie where it's like the the things happened
and there's like that calm and they go back to the family
and there's sort of this like, okay, well, we've accepted some things
and we've moved on and there's this sort of like calm in the air.
Do you feel like you've turned a leaf?
Do you feel like you've owned up but you'll make some decisions
in the future that will be better or are you going to continue
with your ways?
What's the wash up?
I think that I'll continue with my ways because I feel like the post office
is a common enemy for most people.
Yeah.
I don't think that there's one person that hasn't been burned by a career
driver or a delivery or at some point, you know?
I'll tell you something, this will really fuck you off.
This girl in one of my MBA classes, she's fucking rich as fuck.
Is that the one whose dad does that thing?
Well, her dad at one stage was the CEO of Australia Post.
And I was like, how come you're driving a fucking Maserati
and live in a $20 billion house?
And she goes, oh, my dad was the CEO of Australia Post.
Yeah.
So there's all my fucking delivery dollars.
And they're making money on that because they're not delivering it.
Yep.
I acknowledge that once again.
I'd like to just remind you that I said 45 seconds ago,
oh, this will fuck you off.
Yeah.
Do I know you're not?
Do I know you're not?
Yeah.
I've got to love to see it.
Yeah.
Yeah, bring us back.
I think I might have.
I don't know if I've mentioned this on the podcast before,
and the reason I'm confused is because I've definitely talked myself up a thousand times just in life about this one specific thing.
Okay.
So I don't know if it's made it onto the show yet.
So forgive me.
Okay.
But my love to see it is Tony and I were driving somewhere the other day and we were 12 minutes away from the destination.
We have talked about this on the podcast.
Have we?
Yes.
Yeah, we have.
But it's still good.
No, I'll say it again.
No, it's still good.
I'll say it again.
the pot have we did it yes yeah we have but it's still no i'll say it again no i'll say it again we were 12 minutes away from the destination and then i pulled what i would describe as a strategic
yet not a street legal move like kind of drove across some tram tracks and just got into the
you know and then it went from 12 minutes to eight minutes like that on the gps and because
i've always claimed that you can't beat the GPS because it's not a game.
Yeah, it is a game and I always win.
Yeah.
And the reason I was reminded of this,
someone tweeted me last night and was like,
hey, Ryan, like people are.
Oh, yeah, people love it.
Yeah, and they go, oh, the place said 34 minutes
and I got there in 29.
And he tweeted me.
That's good.
Five minutes.
Yeah, he shaved five there.
Fuck, that's a lot of minutes.
You know, I think the most I've ever done it by is one.
One of the best moves is getting into the right-hand turn lane
when there's less cars, fanging it down there and still going straight.
Do not recommend legal advice.
Please see your lawyer.
This is not a legal show.
When people do that, it makes me so angry.
Well, that guy tweeted me.
He was like, God, did you move, bro?
What do you love to see?
I love to see that I abide by the rules.
Law-abiding citizen.
And that when the GPS says 24 minutes, I get there in the recommended 24 minutes
because I do the speed limit and I don't do any illegal maneuvers.
I love to see, it's actually from Kaylin Byers in our Facebook group.
G'day, Kaylin.
Kaylin says, my husband is the sweetest, literally.
He knows I love Tony and Ryan
and I frequently bring up new Australian sayings
or slang or random things that she hears from the podcast.
For my birthday this week,
he ordered a box of Australia's best snacks for me.
I saw this.
I was so excited to see Cheezels, Milo, and of course, Tim Tams.
My exact words when I ate my first Tim Tam was,
Fuck me dead.
You love to say it.
And I thought that was so sweet.
I love those Australian gift boxes. I reckon they should put that phrase that he said on the box.
Fuck me dead, this is delicious.
She said, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She ate her first Tim Tam.
Actually, can we claim fuckmedeadthisisdelicious.com.au?
Do you reckon that's still up for grabs?
I don't know what we're selling, but I love that domain name.
Isn't there a show that's called Fuck That's Delicious?
Is that the Action Bronson thing?
Yeah, he's good, isn't he?
Oh, that show is so good.
Sorry, I'm just Googling.
Okay, cancel that.
Someone else has already got our idea.
Yeah, Action Bronson, Fuck That's Delicious.
Sorry, that was fucking good from me.
Yeah, that was good from you.
That actually was, but it's not called Fuck Me Dead, that's delicious.
But Fuck That's Delicious is taken.
I'll get the Australian domain with the.au on the end.
All right, great.
Great.
Anyway, you fucking love to see it.
Thank you so much for joining us.
We'll be back tomorrow with the video show.
Love you.
Bye.