Toni and Ryan - UPDATE - Phalanges on a Flight
Episode Date: August 9, 2022Filling you in on Ryan's phalange habits, and audio queen to fix your Wednesday! Love ya!!! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #T...oniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Really aggressive ring.
Yeah.
Ring, ring.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yes.
Hey, Emily.
Hi.
How are you guys?
We're fantastic.
We're well now.
How are you?
Oh, even better now.
Even better.
Oh, why?
What were you doing before?
That was so lame.
I mean, I'm at work, so not really that great.
What do you do?
I just ran out.
I'm a graphic designer, actually.
Oh, that's not lame.
That's cool.
Yeah, that's fun.
Yeah.
Will you approve this episode?
Absolutely, absolutely.
Yeah.
Love nothing more than help you out.
Even though the show's a bit graphic.
She's a graphic designer.
Yeah, I got it, yeah.
Okay, cool.
Hi, I'm Emily from New York Peninsula in Adelaide
and I approve this podcast.
Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.
Hello.
My name's Ryan John.
I'm the vice captain of the ship here with Tony Lodge.
Hello.
And.
It's flap town.
We're flapped.
It's flap day podcast day. If this is your first day listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast, I apologise.
Go back, girlfriend.
Can you think of a day that you've had in the last month where stuff just didn't go right?
Maybe you left your pass for work at home and you can't scan into the building or your train ticket.
And every time you want to go to the fucking toilet, someone's going to let you in.
Michelle, can you go borrow your pass?
Yeah, and then you're like, oh, it's a day that I've drunk a lot of water.
And they're like very aware of how many wheeze you've done.
Maybe you just left your lunch at home.
You made some leftovers that's sitting there in the fridge.
It's always when it's really good stuff.
And then you get home and you go, oh, I'm going to eat that for dinner.
And your partner's already eaten it.
You know, when you've got your mind on a fucking, on a leftover.
Anyway, everything you've touched turns to shit.
Tony and I have had one of those days.
One of those 24 hours, would you say?
Yep.
It's fair to say.
And I just want you to know that if you say? Yep, it's fair to say.
And I just want you to know that if you're having a bad day.
It's okay.
You're not alone.
And can I just say as well, we're not in the game of complaining.
We're not here to complain.
We're not gaming for the complaining.
No, we're not.
But it was fucked.
So Tony rocks up to the office first.
Shock horror, she got to someplace before I did.
Yeah.
To be fair, I wasn't late though. No, you weren't. So you said, oh, I reckon I'll get to the office between. Shock horror, she got to some place before I did. Yeah. To be fair, I wasn't late though.
No, you weren't.
So you said, oh, I reckon I'll get to the office between like, you know,
7.30, 8 o'clock.
So I was like, cool, 7.30 is the earliest time that he'll get there. So I've got to get there early.
So to be there early, I've got to get there at quarter past seven.
That is like how my mind heard you getting there between 7.30
and 8 o'clock.
Which is insane.
Insane.
Yeah.
So there's two doors at the front of the building.
And they have the same key.
The same key.
So I walk in the first door and I see Tony there and I go, oh, did you just get here?
No.
Nah.
You'd been there for a while.
Yeah.
And what were you doing?
Just opening the door, which sounds like an easy feat.
It does.
It sounds like a very accomplishable thing to happen early in the morning.
But for some reason you couldn't get it open.
And we just, so this is our new studio.
We've just had like keys cut.
And you know when you first get a key cut, sometimes it's a bit dicky.
A bit crunchy.
Yeah, and like it's a bit too sharp and it hasn't like worn into the grooves properly yet.
It hasn't had a little warm up.
It's gone straight into home base.
Fucking hell.
Anyway, so I'm like putting the key in and it wasn't like catching.
You know how when you turn, it was just like turning
and then getting stuck.
And so I like leaned on the door for a bit.
I'd probably been trying to get this door open for about five minutes.
So then I roll in.
Which is a long fucking time.
A long time. So I roll in.
Superman going, don't worry about it, love.
A man's here. Oh, how about I give it a go? I'll just give it a crack.
Give it a look here. And I was like, yeah, I
just can't figure it out. There's obviously a knack
to it, whatever. So then
I... Captain fucking Ryan.
Yeah. Vice Captain Ryan steps
up to the plate. Yeah.
And then I also.
Couldn't get it open.
Couldn't get it open.
So then I call one of the guys that works here.
Yeah.
And he goes, oh, lucky you've called me.
I'll just come down and sort that one out for you.
No one's opened a door like me before.
I can do it.
And then this other bloke comes down.
He can't open the fucking door either.
Then the locksmith comes.
He can't open the door either.
But the arrogance of each next person who are like, oh, mate,
I'll get that done for you.
Innocent little Tony standing there like, oh,
I've obviously done something wrong.
And it wasn't me.
The door had actually like seized and fucked up.
And that's why the locksmith also couldn't open it.
So they had to put like a whole new lock in the door.
But I love that you were like, oh, this is so embarrassing.
I hope Brian can't get it to prove that I'm not the idiot.
Yeah. And then I was like, oh, fuck embarrassing. I hope Brian can't get it to prove that I'm not the idiot. Yeah.
And then I was like, oh, fuck it.
I hope it wasn't just me and Tony.
I hope Sam also can't do it because then we're not the fucking idiots.
Yeah.
And then Sam's like, I hope the locksmith can't get it.
And so on and so forth.
So now the door will remain closed forever.
Forever.
And we're recording seven hours after we plan to be.
And that's fine.
And about two hours before it's going live.
Yeah. So I've got to get me skates on. We just did this. Don't make any. And about two hours before it's going live. Yeah.
So I've got to get my skates on.
We just did this.
Don't make any mistakes because I don't have time to cover it.
Who are we kidding?
We left the mistakes in.
Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.
Very unflapped day and nothing else has gone wrong besides the keys.
No technical issues.
No computer issues.
I definitely remembered to bring the computer hard drive with me.
You didn't have to go home to go and get it.
We're definitely exclusive to Spotify.
All of the podcasts are available, you know, all of those things.
There was a time where we signed exclusively to Spotify
and we're on every app except for Spotify.
Except for Spotify for about four hours on Monday, which was awesome.
And the lords go, well, it's the exact opposite of how it would be.
Have we clicked the wrong button? I mean, someone has. Yeah, something was awesome. Had the lords go, well, the exact opposite of how we planned it.
Yeah, pretty much. Have we clicked the wrong button?
I mean, someone has.
Yeah, something's wrong.
But anyway.
Yeah, we push on.
Here we are.
It's showbiz.
Look at us.
Showbiz, baby.
Woo!
If you don't know Tony Lodge, I mean, where have you been hiding?
But if you don't know Tony Lodge, by trade, a sound engineer, an audio queen.
Who needs on-the-road reporters?
Who needs producers behind the scenes when we've got,
and this isn't the first time I've said this,
the mouth of Tony Lodge to do the heavy lifting?
Normally I'm doing other things for you with a mouth.
Just like talking to you, being your friend.
Crying with each other today.
Oh, it was rough.
But anyway.
Wait, wait, here?
Yep.
Now, actually, I regret this first story for Audio Queen
because it's been a rough day.
Is it still too soon to talk about Pete Davidson
and Kim Kardashian breaking up?
Because I knew that one hit you hard.
Oh, I'm reeling.
Honestly, I'm upset.
I thought they were going to last forever.
Everyone's commenting online, oh, of course they broke up.
I really thought it was the real deal.
He's in the next season of The Kardashians on Hulu.
Is he?
Yeah.
So that season hasn't started and he's already been dumped.
Yeah.
Well, because it obviously got filmed.
Now you can watch it, but yeah, watch it back.
Is that not live?
Oh, spoilers.
I watched the show.
Spoilers.
Is that the equivalent, like the modern equivalent of being like,
I read the book?
Yeah.
You'd be like, oh, my God, I'm watching the Kardashians for the first time.
Did you know that Pete and Kim broke up?
I'm like, yeah, I read the book.
I read the book.
And by the book, I mean the son tablet.
Yeah, exactly, ma'am.
Now, we've had a similar audio queen before,
but what you're about to hear is Pete Davidson at the tattoo parlor
and he's getting a few tattoos removed because obviously he got a bit heavy.
Apparently his friends were like, dude, you come on a bit strong.
Apparently he proposed, there's rumours, and he's got the tattoo of her kids
and she was like, hey, bro, just pump the brakes.
And that's his thing.
He comes on too strong.
Because I read a few articles of people being like,
oh, these are actually red flags.
Yeah, exactly.
Like they're things that we romanticise and go like,
oh, I wish a boy got swept up in me and tattooed me on him,
but it's actually like, wow, that's too much.
That's a lot.
Especially when kids are involved.
But anyway, okay.
So because of this, what you're about to hear is the tattoo removal machine,
which apparently are quite painful and loud.
Oh, my God.
And then you're also going to hear Pete's supportive bros,
because you know how when they break up, oh, she was nothing.
Yeah, yeah.
She's not, you know, you're better off without her.
So that's what you're about to hear.
Okay.
This is a tattoo and removal thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, gee, that hurts.
Did that sound like big time?
The breakup or the touch and removal?
Both.
Oh, man, that really hurts.
I've got to get some pizza on Staten Island.
You went to six different countries in one word.
Yeah, I did.
I did.
Oh, good.
Island.
Hey, bro, you know, I don't even like her show.
Don't even worry about it.
And then this is a different friend.
I unsubscribe from Hulu because her show's on Hulu.
friend, I unsubscribe from Hulu because her show's on Hulu.
That's a really hard one.
Yeah, sorry to put you through that as well.
But thanks for taking us there.
That's okay.
I felt like I was in the room.
Yeah, I'm pretty good at accents, I'm not going to lie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, it's not lying if you believe it.
You just might not be correct. You know what I'm saying?
All right.
A wife in Mexico has stabbed her husband of 10 years.
Good for her.
Because she found pictures of her husband with a younger woman.
Oh, my God.
But get this.
It turns out the photos with the younger woman were just old photos of the wife.
They've been married for 10 years.
Who's this young broad?
That was you in 2007.
They were old photos.
Oh, my God.
And then she was like, oh, sorry for stabbing you.
So what you're about to hear is the sound of this woman in Mexico confronting him,
stabbing him, him being stabbed, obviously in pain.
Then he explains to her, that's you, babe.
Then she realises and sort of like just tries to play it cool
like stabbing him wasn't a big deal.
Okay.
That's Italian.
I'm seeing you trying to figure out Mexican in real time.
Oh, Dios mio.
You're taking the pictures with this woman and I can't deal with it.
No, that's Italian.
You're an old Italian.
You're a 45-year-old Mexican.
Okay.
Not an 80-year-old Italian.
All I can do is nonna.
You've missed by a few continents.
I can't do abuela.
I can just do nonna.
Okay, for the sake of it, let's just go with Nonna.
I said Dios mio in an Italian accent.
It's been a day, okay?
It's been a day.
It's been a day.
A fucker you are, why are you...
We're going with it.
A fucker you are, can't believe We're going with it. A fucker you.
I can't believe you.
Chet on me with this young woman.
Oh, my God.
Oh, I shot him.
Oh, wait.
Did she shoot him?
She stabbed him.
Okay.
Have you ever seen a stabbing...
No.
Or heard one?
I think it's...
Yeah?
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, it was you 20 years ago.
Oh, Gloria, I always loved you.
Oh, I am so sorry.
I am so sorry.
Oh, I can't.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I stabbed my husband by accident.
Stop.
I'm crying.
Okay.
How is that?
I'm actually crying.
I don't know.
Because of how good it was?
Yeah.
Yep.
Yep.
I was thinking about Gloria from Modern Family,
but she's Colombian.
Yeah.
So I probably went a bit like Colombian on the Italian accent.
I was way off.
I'm going to put a note here to maybe avoid Mexico and the-
Thanks.
Maybe the whole South American region.
Thanks.
Our final, I don't know where we're going to go from there.
Let's go to an athletics meet in Colombia.
I'm sorry.
Can we go to Colombia?
Oh, my God.
Because you've just done practice.
Actually, you know what?
It's in Colombia, but the-
She's Italian.
It doesn't have to be a Colombian. It's just in Columbia. Great.
An athletics meet in Columbia. A bloke had to stop running
after his penis popped out mid-race. It popped out of his shorts.
Oh, we've all been there. We've all been there.
What you're about to hear is the internal monologue of the penis
from the starting block.
Okay.
The race where you can imagine there's a bit of, you know, rubbing and chasing.
And then finally making his grand public appearance.
If you know what I mean.
If you know what I mean. Now, even though the runner is Colombian, where do you think his penis is from?
Australia.
No.
I think.
England.
Yeah. No, like Northern Ireland. Okay. No, I think. England. Yeah.
No, like Northern Ireland.
Okay, no, I can't do that accent.
We know that.
Scotland?
I'll get an angry call from the big group.
Go Scotland because I know you've got a groundskeeper willy in you.
Oh, it's perfect.
Yeah, yeah.
You've got a groundskeeper willy in me.
Okay.
Oh, me wee score.
All right.
Ready, set. Oh, me wee Scotty. All right. Ready, set, beep.
Oh, bloody hell.
I'm running.
I'm running.
Oh, I can't get first.
Oh, me wee Tucker's come out.
You are the Tucker.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Okay.
Oh, he's really running.
Oh, the underwear is really rubbing on my face.
Oh, it's on my face.
Oh, oh.
Oh, it's windy out here, isn't it?
Oh, my little Willie.
Oh, that's me.
Oh, put me back in.
Put me back in.
Put me back in.
Put me back in!
Put me back in!
We're going to have to put that on the video because it looked like you were birthing.
You're the birthing.
Like if anyone has seen Ace Ventura 2
when his face comes out of the rhinoceros,
that's what Tony looked like pretending to be the penis
coming out of the shorts.
I think that that accent was pretty good.
I agree. Yeah. I think that that accent was pretty good. I agree.
Yeah.
I would assume that no Scottish person will complain
about the accuracy of that.
Let them.
Fucking bring it on.
Bring it on.
Actually, maybe I regret doing this today because of the day we've had.
But up next, there's an update on the story about when I was in a plane as a young
kid. And I've got an extra story I want to tell.
Basically, Ryan fingered someone on a plane and we need to talk about it again.
Can I give you the headline of the story?
I thought you just fingered her as their head as well.
Play the thing.
Hi, I'm Emily from the York Peninsula in Adelaide.
You're listening to Tony and I.
A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas
over at our Patreon.
They're paying good money to listen to me do that Scottish accent,
so thank you so much.
Lindsay Miller, thank you so much.
Grayson, Taylor Reid, Hunter Freilich, thank you.
Elizabeth Barrett, Boudreaux, Chandra Weeb, Spencer Albert,
James Treat, Rosie Rich, Jessie Jeffords, and Trash Tash.
Trash Tash? Trash Tash.
Yes.
Her champion type of status is funded by her bestie Liz.
How sweet's that?
Thanks, Liz.
Little sugar mama.
And Trash Tash is about to head off on an amazing
gymnastic scholarship.
Oh, well done.
Yeah, so fucking congrats and hope you smash it.
Fucking bend your way to victory.
Were you trying to say bend like Beckham?
I was just saying bend and then I didn't really know where I was going with it.
But anyway.
Tomorrow on the show.
Hope you're not getting on a plane.
Sorry.
You're about to find out why that's.
Yeah.
Looking you through.
Tomorrow on the show, normal or nah,
apparently Australians do something when they're unstacking
the dishwasher or just putting the dishes away that people
in other countries do not do.
We're unique.
And I want to know if you're one of them or maybe you're like the rest
of the world, Tony Lodge.
Anyway, that's tomorrow on the show.
Oh, my God, hooking me through.
But on Friday.
We were talking about how far you've travelled for sex
and we named it What Did You Do For Dick?
And towards the end of the conversation, I asked you, Ryan,
what have you done for dick?
Like what have you done for a hookup?
Like how far have you driven, travelled?
Like what have you endured to get dick basically
or give your dick to someone, as it were.
And you brought up the fact that you were, like,
kind of semi-long distance with this girl called Lauren
while you were in the US.
You met on the plane.
It's a very, like, meet-cute kind of moment.
You were watching movies on your laptop.
Well, it's interesting you say cute and nice
because the first question you had was what?
No, well.
I met this girl on a plane and your first question was?
No, and then you said that you were seeing each other after that
and I said, did you finger her on the plane?
Your first response.
Because I think that's really nice.
Do you want me to partake in this or do you just want to go for it?
Well, I do have a few things that I'd like to share.
Because the Tony and Ryan podcast Facebook group has had an absolute fucking field day.
It popped the hell off.
I was in tears.
Tony texted me, just texted me in capitalized saying, I can't breathe.
So do you want me to be a part of this conversation or do you just want me to let you go?
If you could let me have the floor for just a moment, I want to share a few of my favorite comments.
I would like to rebut after.
Yeah, that's fine.
Rebut.
Oh, God, re-finger more like.
Matt Arnott in our Facebook group, he commented,
lovely wholesome story about meeting a girl on the plane
and Tony's straight in there with a handjob question,
which, yes, of course.
As if I'm going to hear a story about you meeting a sweet girl
on the plane and ask if you've got a bit of action.
Well, I feel like the people, the tarpers,
are happy you asked the questions for them.
Yes.
But I disagree.
I feel like they could have been glossed over.
No, we don't gloss here.
Monique DeRocha on the treadmill, classic.
She said, Ryan's plane story.
What sort of glorious fanfic is this?
As if we had made this up and been like,
then Ryan fingered the girl on the plane.
Well, you did make up a lot of stuff.
No, I didn't.
We'll get to that.
She said, literally snakes on a plane.
Adam Wolfe shared maybe my favourite meme that I've ever seen in my whole life
and it said, no one, Ryan on a plane, important gang signs to remember.
And then it was like different fingering motions that you could do.
The concept of the gang signs,
it actually took me a little bit longer to figure out the gang signs were
like I looked at the gang signs and were like, oh.
It's so funny.
I think I almost threw up.
Like I thought that was hilarious.
Another person, or Jared
B. Harris, he made you
a Pokemon card that said
that your
attack would be plain fingering,
which is hilarious.
It's so funny. I'm not laughing.
I'm angry at you, Jared. And Warwick
Brown posted a meme that he made.
You know that meme format and it's like the two buttons
and then like the person sweating?
Sweating, yeah.
The two buttons above them, one says poop towel
and it has a button.
One says phone battery and it has a button.
And then when it goes to the guy sweating,
it says Ryan realising fingers on a plane is a third type of topic.
But one of my very favourites was on Friday we finished the episode
with Ryan, you telling us an inspirational quote.
And M. Kelly commented.
I feel so attacked.
This is bullshit.
She was attacked as well.
Poor girl in her poor vagina.
She was just trying to get from A to B, mate, and then she got the D.
She was just trying to get from A to B, mate,
and then she got the D.
M. Kelly commented, inspirational quote,
don't self-reject, finger more people on planes.
Don't use my inspirational quotes against me.
I thought I was doing a service for the Tarvers to inspire. For the girl on the plane, Lauren?
No, for people listening.
Mouth service.
Fuck off. Like, I will never run out of jokes for this.
Can I just add one more that I was so angry but also respected the joke?
Brooke.
Did you see just Brooke's comment?
I don't think so.
It wasn't a post.
It was just a sly little comment that I think went under the radar.
She goes, I wonder if Ryan strapped his wrists before.
No, he only does that before ball play.
Yeah, I didn't, but she did.
All right.
Can you.
Go on.
Did it happen?
We've got the lights on in the studio.
It feels like it's a press conference.
You know, like when they're like.
Yeah.
It didn't happen.
It did.
It didn't.
Okay, you're lying.
All right, keep going.
Say what you want.
I've got another comment here from Nicole.
Yes.
Hi, Nicole.
And the sentiment was shared by.
Nicole, more like Lauren's hole.
Ryan figured it out.
I told you I'm never going to run out of jokes.
You're obnoxious.
Monique DeRocha, she's really working both sides.
Don't fucking say a thing when I say working both sides.
She's on both sides of the fence.
Oh, was she?
Poor girl.
Was that a fence or was that Ryan?
Ryan was trying to share a beautiful love story
about two young Australians
travelling to the USA, chasing their dreams and hoping to find love.
This should have been a beautiful story, but it wasn't
because of Tony Lodge's disgusting mind.
She ruined it.
Tony Lodge's disgusting mind ruined a beautiful love story.
Actually, Ryan's fucking fingers inside of Lauren ruined
this fucking love story.
So I've just posted a thread in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group.
You did?
Yep, just now.
Yeah.
How has Tony Lodge's disgusting mind ruined your life?
I don't need this today.
I know, but cop this anyway.
Oh, poor Lauren.
She's already copped it.
You deserve it.
My poor wife, Bridget.
Here's an example.
You know this story, don't you?
We met some friends for dinner at the pub.
Yeah.
And a friend of us, this girl, she brings a date.
Yeah.
So we're like, oh, you know, what's he do?
And you know how it's really exciting when a friend brings a partner
because you're all like, we're going to pick you up.
Yeah, absolutely.
We're going to think you're on a plane.
Sorry.
We didn't.
No.
No, that's not what we said at all.
So she goes, oh, hi.
Let's call him Dave.
Oh, this is Dave.
Dave.
Hi, Dave.
Nice to meet you, Dave.
And she goes, yeah.
We're like, oh, you know, what are you doing?
She goes, oh, he's got a PhD.
Pretty huge dick.
That's very forward of you.
Bridget.
Sweet, young, innocent Bridget, my wife, would normally,
because she's impressed by education and she loves science stuff
and her PhD was like in biology.
So it was like right up her area.
Don't say right up her area. Call her Lauren biology. So it was like right up her area.
Don't say right up her area.
Call her Lauren on a plane because it was right up her area.
So normally the response would be, oh, wow, that's impressive. What did you do your pieces thing on?
Yeah, tell me about it.
But because Bridget has hung out with Tony Lodge far too much,
when she heard he's got a PhD,
have you ever seen someone try really hard not to sneeze when they really need to sneeze?
Like their body is shaking.
Yeah.
The compulsion that came over Bridget to yell out, Bridget!
And she was just like visibly shaking.
And she was like forced herself to keep it in.
And then later on, an hour later, we leave the room, leave the bath.
And she's like, I've got to get this out.
We get to the car and she goes,
I'm like a demon.
Yeah, because she's been hanging out with you.
Now, anyone who's got a PhD.
Lucky them.
Not her husband.
Just a master's.
It's ruined forever.
So I want to know.
And by the way, I haven't told you this yet either
We're dedicating all of Monday's show
To how has Tony ruined your life
Wait
Have you said that's fucked or get fucked to a boss
Because it now is a natural reaction for you
Who previously would have gone
Oh okay
But now you go
Oh get fucked
And then realise you're in a business setting.
Today.
Are you no longer able to attend a float room?
Because you know that some girls use it.
To jerk off, yeah.
Do you now say question after someone says the word question?
And can you no longer pronounce the word viral?
V-v-v-viral.
How has Tony ruined your life?
A top special event on Monday.
Today I approved a post that was like,
can we all give Ryan some kudos?
I feel like he really needs it.
He does.
No one has ever fucking written a post like that about me.
This whole podcast is that for you.
Okay.
Well, not today.
I didn't get to finger anyone on a plane.
I didn't get fingered on a plane.
Would you like me to arrange something?
Yeah.
Oh.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I hope no one gets to hear what you just said.
Okay.
Rewind.
Have I fucked up your life?
Let's just get into You Love to See It, shall we?
But that's coming up Monday.
It's coming up Monday.
What have you loved
to have seen this week?
Walnuts.
Damn it!
Alright.
Yesterday.
Fuck you.
It's literally written
on my finger.
Why did I even ask you?
I don't know.
I thought you weren't going to
and I was just going to
yell it anyway.
Yesterday,
Tony and I shared a carrot cake.
Is that cute?
That's fucking cute.
So we got a coffee each and we were both doing that like,
oh, we couldn't have a sliced cake.
Do you want a slice?
Oh, I love a little sweet thing.
But it was sort of like, hey, if we share it, then it's okay.
It's kind of like a problem shared is a problem halved.
You know that saying?
A guilty cake slice halved is a guilty cake you never ate.
Yeah.
They cancel each other out.
Yeah.
If we both eat cake, neither of us did.
So they both had a little walnut, like both halves,
a little walnut each.
Yeah.
And Tony bites into it and says,
I fucking love a walnut.
And I said, I agree.
That's my, you'll have to see it tomorrow, shotgun.
No. You said, call it. And I said, I agree. That's my you love to see it tomorrow shotgun. No.
You said, call it.
And I said, no.
So you admit I did call it.
No, I admit you said you called it.
But a walnut.
Honestly, what a fucking underrated nut.
We've talked about pepitas, the underrated seed.
Now I've got the underrated nut.
What underrated thing could we talk about next week?
Who knows?
I'll tell you what's great about the walnut.
You only need one.
Like one on top of a cake.
It's cute.
Oh, yeah.
You know, if you just had like a singular almond on something,
you'd be like, oh, okay.
Yeah.
And also an almond, I don't really enjoy eating because it's a bit too hard.
But –
Walnuts.
A walnut.
The texture of them, they're a bit softer.
And you know that if you've got a scratch in wooden furniture,
you rub a walnut on it and it covers it up.
Really?
Yep.
I didn't know that.
Yep, I know.
Walnuts.
What can't they do?
And if anybody from Big Walnuts is listening,
we'd love to get involved with your next ad campaign.
Well, since you stole my...
Hour.
You love to say it. Hour. You love to say it.
Hour, you love to say it.
You know what my love to say it is today?
What?
Pendulum painting.
What's that?
Not to be confused with frenulum painting.
It's frenulum painting.
Don't Google it.
Do you mean frenulum?
What did I say?
Frenulum.
Don't ask fucking questions, man.
Okay, sorry.
My love to say it is that you know all the words.
For the 180th podcast episode in a row.
They put a literal blank canvas on the ground.
Yeah.
And then they kind of like tie a paint tin to the roof with a bit of a rope.
And then they're like.
Swing it.
And they put a hole in the bottom of the paint tin and then they swing it around.
And as it moves around, it leaves up this cool pattern.
And they swing it around.
And as it moves around, it leaves this cool pattern.
So not only is the artwork in the end great,
but watching it happen is mesmerising and crazy satisfying because of, it's not really maths, it's not the right word,
but the perfection of how it just swings and creates.
And that every piece would be unique, right?
Totally unique.
And then every loop that the painting does,
it's slightly different to the last one.
So it has these perfect circles and stuff.
That is amazing.
Do you have like a TikTok that you found?
Oh, we'll put it in the episode thread.
I'd love to see it.
But it comes with a warning.
Oh.
Once you start watching,
you will be forced to watch the whole video.
And then TikTok goes, oh, this guy likes these.
Oh, and so then you get a lot of frenulum painting.
And I'm not hating it, but it's a real choice.
Yeah, okay.
I'm not seeing as much golf.
The frenulum paintings are taking over.
Hang on, the pendulum paintings are taking over.
Okay, we're going.
We're sorry about today's episode.
But tomorrow we're doing Norm Yowell on her.
Yeah, I like that.
I like that.
Thanks for sticking with us.
And if you've had a bad day as well, hey.
We fucking feel you. We're all humans. We're I like that. I like that. Thanks for sticking with us. And if you've had a bad day as well, hey. We fucking feel you.
We're all humans.
We're all here.
We're here together.
Even attractive people like us have bad days.
Yeah, it happens to the best of us, guys.
Love you so much.
And I hope that tomorrow is better if today was shit.
Lauren's never had a bad day.
Oh, she's had the best one already.
Love you, bye.
So did you want to finger mayo now or after?