Toni and Ryan - We're Expecting!
Episode Date: September 14, 2022The best normal or nah's from our Facebook group, and some exciting news from Team Toni and Taubs!! Love ya! Toni xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Faceb...ook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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I think I've got to poo.
Welcome to the show.
That's Tony.
I'm Ryan.
Did you want to wait until we call Scott who's in Brisbane?
I can wait for Scott.
Oh, he's on the Gold Coast.
Let's call the Gold Coast.
Hopefully you can hold it.
I don't know if I can.
Touch a cloth?
Prairie dogging.
Hello?
Hey, Scott.
How are you?
Hey, Tony.
How are you?
Oh, my God.
How did you know it was me?
I would recognise your voice anywhere, mate.
Oh, my God.
I really appreciate that, actually.
Yeah, I would too.
Would you?
Yeah, I'd recognise your voice.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, I'd recognise your voice, Ryan.
Oh.
Righto.
Okay.
Well, Scott, will you approve this podcast?
A hundred percent, yes.
Yeah.
Thanks for keeping it quick, Scott.
I've really got to poop.
Hey, it's Scott from the Gold Coast and I approve this podcast.
Yeah. Coming up on today's episode, a changed Tony.
I love regional Tony.
Unflappable Tony's great.
Suburban dad.
Suburban dad.
But this new Tony, and I think a lot of people would have been in this position in their lives,
where they're ready for something, and that something's happening to Tony.
A bit of an expansion.
Now, first, normal or nah?
What is normal or nah, Tony?
Okay, so normal or nah.
We need to come up with a good one-liner for this.
Normal or nah?
We take a topic, we decide whether we think it's normal or if it's nah.
That was pretty good.
Is that all right?
And I like how you acted it out, yeah.
Nah.
Yeah.
Yep.
Normal or nah?
Being attracted to animated characters.
Normal.
Did you want to have a think about that?
Normal.
Have you seen Ariel in The Little Mermaid?
Come on.
Literally. Come on. Literally.
Come on.
No?
Did you say when you said, you said, come on?
Yeah, I meant like, come on.
Oh, not like.
But I mean, bitter, I guess.
But Ariel in The Little Mermaid, also the prince from The Little Mermaid.
Eric, the big.
Eric, yep.
He's jacked.
I actually wrote down two and it was Jasmine and Ariel.
Yeah, of course.
You're a Jasmine guy.
You're 100% a Jasmine guy.
You're a V-neck guy.
You're a Jasmine guy.
I will cop Jasmine guy.
I'm not a V-neck guy.
I used to work on a radio show called Jason PJ and PJ,
the female co-host, her first crush was on Teenage Simba
in The Lion King.
Teenage Simba?
Yep.
So like the older version.
So obviously he's like a puppy at the beginning
and then he's like a proper dog after.
Kat, sorry?
He's a lion.
Yep.
And then so like you know how in the beginning he's like a puppy
and then he's a bigger dog after.
Then he's not a dog.
He is a lion.
He's a lion.
Are you a lion?
Are you telling the truth or are you a lion?
No, I got it.
I'm so offended.
That's like Simba is very important to a lot of people
and just to keep saying that he's a puppy.
Okay.
But so when he's not a puppy anymore, that was the one that she liked.
Okay.
That was her first crush.
I'm actually surprised because I was thinking about for you
because Disney doesn't have any characters that, like,
smoke cigarettes, have mullets and have shit tattoos.
So I'm like, I don't know if this is going to be Tony's.
Because they're all, like, so perfect.
Yeah, they are.
But, yeah, I'm going to say normal because I think that you're attracted
to the character, aren't you?
No, I'm all about physical.
See.
No personalities required.
You know Little Mermaid again?
You know the crab Sebastian?
Yeah.
A bit of him as well.
I just think he'd be a nice guy.
I need to re-watch The Little Mermaid apparently.
I haven't seen it since I was two years old.
I'd let him touch on my sea.
Touch on my sea.
Darling, it's better.
Down where it's wetter.
Take it from me.
Sorry about that.
Yeah, you should be.
Have you seen the trailer for the new Little Mermaid with Halle Berry as Ariel?
I don't think Halle Berry's in it. Halle Berry is ariel please google this and we can watch this unfold in real
time no please google it it's like a cartoon google it she's the oh hallie berry ariel
it's like.
Share what you're reading.
Halle Bailey.
Share what you're reading with the Tafers.
Oh, my God.
So there's been a big mix up that everyone thought it was Halle Berry,
but it's Halle Bailey.
Oh, my God.
I didn't even see the thing.
I just saw the tweets about it.
Well, that's obviously not Halle Berry.
Yeah, because everyone's going, oh, what?
You got a 55-year-old to play a 16-year-old?
This is ridiculous.
They don't even look anything alike.
And then Halle Berry's like.
That's not me, guys.
Yeah, there's a reason I don't look like them. It's because even look anything alike. And then Halle Berry's like, that's not me guys.
Yeah. There's a reason I don't look like them. It's because it's not me.
Oh, I didn't even see any footage of it. I was just like, that's cool. Oh my God.
I'm glad we've all had this moment because the whole internet has done over the last 48 hours has done what you've just done now. Do you know what, why I haven't seen it
is because my internet wasn't working yesterday.
We had NBN issues at my place.
Oh, my God.
That's hilarious.
I love it when the whole internet makes a faux pas at the same time.
It's my favourite thing.
So I think Halle Berry's internet was also off and then she logged on and went, oh, let me just fix that for you guys.
Because I thought I saw a tweet that was from Halle Berry.
Because like Emery Shiano, she shared heaps of stuff about it.
And I was like, oh, my God, that's sick.
And then I was like, maybe it's her voicing.
I thought maybe I didn't know it was live action.
Yep.
Wow.
Well, poor Halle Benny or whatever the other girl's name is.
Don't Hollywood people, if their name's similar, they'll change it?
You'd think so.
So Katy Perry's name is, her last name's Hudson.
And because of Kate Hudson, she's like, it's too similar and confusing.
Yeah, that's good.
So she became Katy Perry.
Yeah, well, I used to be called Katy Penny.
So I changed it to Tony Lodge.
Yeah, great idea.
Well, your name is Ryan Dunn, but because of a famous person,
you changed it to Ryan John.
John's my middle name.
Yeah.
So you go with your middle name because otherwise everyone thought
you were dead on Twitter.
Yeah.
And your mum was like, hey, what's going on?
Yeah, my mum called me when the guy from Jackass died and said,
are you okay?
And I was like, yeah.
And she goes, that's not what I'm reading.
Yeah.
That's not what I'm saying, mate.
It's like, mum, I still live at home.
I'm in the next room.
I just help you answer this call.
That's not what it says on news.com.au.
Normal or nah?
When you only have a few items at the supermarket
and the person in front of you has got a full trolley,
you go, oh, can I just jump in real quick?
Nah.
Is that normal or nah?
Nah.
I'd never do that.
Why not?
Because I have to wait my turn like everybody else.
Even if I only had one thing, I'd never do that. Why not? Because I have to wait my turn like everybody else. Even if I only had one thing, I'd still wait.
But also now with self-checkouts, there's always like 70 open.
Yeah, it's easy, right?
So Sarah Hage, or do we say last names?
Sarah Schmage.
Schmera.
Says, I could never.
Thanks, Sarah.
But if I see someone behind me with less items, I'll offer.
You'd offer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
See, if I'm buying my full week's shop and they've got a toothbrush in their hand,
then I'd go, do you just want to go through?
If someone said to you, do you just want to go through, what would you say?
Would you take them up on their offer?
Would you go, oh, no, no, no, that's fine.
Don't worry about it.
I'm sorry I was here.
I'm just going to walk home.
I don't even want a toothbrush. You know what I'd probably do? I'd probably go, oh, no, no, no, that's fine. Don't worry about it. I'm sorry I was here. I'm just going to walk home. I don't even want a toothbrush.
You know what I'd probably do?
I'd probably go, oh, my God, that's so nice of you.
I've just remembered I forgot something so that I didn't have to take them up on it,
but I didn't have to be rude.
I thought you'd go, oh, actually, I've just got a few extra items.
And then Torbs comes around with a full trolley and goes,
hey, found a sucker.
Come on in.
Come in.
Do you know what would maybe be nice is if someone's just buying a toothbrush,
you're like, hey, I'll scan that and pay for it.
You just go.
It's $3.
I mean, I'm not doing it for like an avocado or something because they're
like, you know, $6 sometimes.
So the limit is $6 apparently.
Anything under $6 I'll take care of for you.
The life and times of Tony Lodge has changed.
Look at you.
I'm trying to be polite to people.
By paying for their, I'll just buy you a toothbrush for you.
Do you know what used to be my mum's favourite power move?
I'll give you a free Invisalign.
We actually did that.
We did do that, but we didn't pay for it.
My mum's favourite power move used to be like paying for way too much parking
and then as you're leaving, give
the ticket to someone else. Isn't
that the best power move you've ever heard?
You know how I stole your love to see it yesterday?
Yeah. Say that one again later and I'll
pretend I'm surprised because
that is, when people do that,
I've still got 40 minutes left on this ticket. Do you want it, bro?
And they're like, yeah, I just need to go in and buy a toothbrush.
Best day for them.
And then I'm in there paying for the toothbrush.
I mean, what a great day.
For the sake of what?
30, 40 cents extra?
Yep.
You change someone's day.
Their day.
A hundred percent.
This normal or nah is a public service announcement.
Okay.
Normal or nah.
Needing to watch YouTube videos to figure out how to drink from my frank green
water bottle nah rachel myers rachel myers go now i'm aware that you need to make sure it clicks
into place if you just pull it back a little bit like are you just sucking air and a lot of people
have said hey what's going on but rachel watched a youtube video now don't you roll your eyes
because you watched an unboxing
of a suitcase, which was a box in a box, really.
Yeah, to decide what to buy.
Yeah, you're right.
So don't you get on your high horse, but Rachel Myers can confirm
that, oh, you pull it back and then it clicks,
and then it works perfectly.
If anybody is having problems with their Frank Grain,
pull it all the way back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The straw.
Yeah.
I'm sorry. Unless you're a drag queen, then you can pull it all the way back yeah yeah there's straw yeah i'm sorry unless you're a drag queen then you can
pull it all the way back tuck it oh what's that called there's a few in his name tuck tuck is
that kentucky what is what what okay now i'm never ever in the rest of my life gotta think about
kentucky or kent Kentucky Fried Chicken or the Kentucky thing
without thinking it's like Ken doing a tucky.
Wow.
I went a lot of places.
That's what Ken said.
Oh.
Oh.
No, no, no.
This is from Natalie.
When the masseuse asks, is that too hard?
I never say yes.
Even if my body is squealing and I am seconds away from death,
I will never say it's too hard because I'm so embarrassed
about being judged as a pansy.
Is this normal or nah?
It's normal.
I almost cracked an Invisalign retainer getting a massage
because it was so hard.
Like you were gritting your teeth.
I was gritting my teeth that tight that I thought I had snapped my Invisalign.
Where were you getting the massage?
Where were they on you?
Oh, I thought you meant like where was I getting it done?
I was like, what do you mean?
Like the place I was at?
Like on my back.
On your back, on your back.
So they're like maybe an elbow or a forearm, like getting right in there?
Yeah, and it's a real sore knot that I'm actually currently in the process
of trying to unwork.
Right.
So it's like right up in my neck and it's connected to like my eye
and my jaw and my shoulder.
The neck just triggers shit everywhere.
Oh, my God.
I'm battling through it today actually.
Are you?
It's all my jaw, all my neck.
And so they're like working on the top of my neck.
And I honestly thought that my retainer was going to snap because I was like,
I was gritting and bearing it.
So I fucking hear you, Natalie.
It's a tough one.
And because, of course, it would be so easy when they go,
is that too hard?
And you go, yeah, a little bit.
And they'll go, okay, I'll just go a bit easier.
But, of course, who's going to say that?
It's worse when they're too soft.
And then you go, oh, a little bit more a bit easier. But, of course, who's going to say that? It's worse when they're too soft and then you go, oh,
a little bit more pressure would be good and it's too much.
They know what they're doing.
And they know you're not going to go, oh, and then back a little bit.
Yeah, because you can't go, oh, split the difference
because then you look like a cock.
You've gone from a 3 out of 10 to a 10 out of 10.
I just need a 7.
I've actually got an audio recording of the masseuse doing the massage.
Yeah.
And Tony, when being offered less pressure, saying, no, it's fine.
So let me just press play here.
Okay, that doesn't exist.
No, when they go, is it too hard?
And you go, oh, no, it's fine.
Oh, yep.
So they're like, Tony, is the pressure too much?
No, that's fine.
That's actually really good.
Yeah.
Oh, yep.
Okay.
Yep, didn't need that part of my spine.
Yeah, that's fine.
Hey, it's Scott from the Gold Coast and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Come and join us at our Patreon because for the Champion Tappers,
we are doing a live stream this Saturday morning, Australian time,
whatever time.
It's all on Patreon.
Yeah, we'll track all the info in there and you can do that time clock thing
because we don't want to tell you the wrong time.
We'll just tell you when we'll be on our time and you can figure it out.
I'll usually give a few references or whatever.
Tony doesn't like time.
I just don't like talking about time.
It just really freaks me out because I don't really understand time differences.
Like I know why, but it's like so confusing. really freaked me out because I don't really understand time differences.
Like I know why, but it's like so confusing.
Do you know what I mean?
So Tony and I were talking about going to Paige's wedding where we're going to the U.S.
next year.
To Philadelphia.
Yeah.
And I don't know if people know this, that when you leave Melbourne to go to Los Angeles,
that's where Hollywood is.
I've never been to Hollywood.
You actually arrive before you leave.
Yeah, so you fly and then you get there,
but because of the time difference you gain time rather than losing time.
Yeah.
You go back in time.
Yeah.
Yeah, so you gain time. So like when you fly from Perth to Melbourne,
the flight's like three hours, but you also lose three hours.
So it ends up being six hours that you lose.
The whole day.
The whole day.
The whole day.
So this Saturday or Friday or fucking Wednesday, depending on where you are, because it's the
football finals in Melbourne and Australia, we will be doing footy food.
Yeah.
I'm really excited.
Do you want to do it at my house or your house?
What do you want to do?
We did the last one at your house.
We could probably figure this out.
Let's go to yours.
Yeah, we can figure this out off air, but we will come to your place.
We'll take a footy from here.
Because we work with footy players.
All the AFL boys.
I'll bring Sam Draper.
I was going to say bring a footy player.
I will.
Sam Draper's actually in Europe at the moment.
Don't know if you follow him on IG.
Apparently someone does.
Anyway, a big thank you to a few of the champion tapas.
That'll be copping that vid on Saturday.
Melissa, thank you.
Caitlin Cross, Brooke A.
Oh, incognito.
Don't know Brooke's last name, just that it starts with A.
Anthony Borsato, Tennille Watson, Guy Carter, Clarissa McCall.
Oh, McCall you later.
Amy Grimmett, Lisa Anderson-Lundquist, Caitlin Martoni and Amy Petman.
Speaking of Petman.
Speaking of Petman, are you a new person?
I think I'm almost a new girl.
Really?
Almost.
So I love dogs.
You do?
I love dogs.
I love your dog, BJ.
He loves you.
I grew up with dogs.
Like I grew up, we always had German Shepherds.
Oh.
Are they like cuddly or are they a bit aggressive?
Oh my, no, they're so, so gentle.
Yeah. But like a Rottweiler, they, you know, like look terrifying, look intimidating.
All bark, no bite?
Um, well, ours were very gentle with us, but like if somebody was, you know.
An outsider.
Yeah. Like our house got broken into and the dogs like woke us up.
Yeah, good. That's what you want.
You know, like, so like a good guard dog, like woke us up. Yeah, good. That's what you want. You know, like a good guard dog.
Yeah.
But they were always so gentle with us.
But like so I grew up with dogs.
I love dogs.
And do you have an announcement?
Well, over the past couple of years, I've really wanted to get a dog.
Yeah.
And we've gone like, look, it's probably just not really the right time.
When I worked in Brekkie Radio, I was working crazy hours.
So I was like, oh, I probably can't really commit
to like properly training a dog.
We also didn't really have like.
You didn't have the giant courtyard that you do now.
No, we just had a little balcony.
And also I was like, oh, if the dog needs the vet and stuff,
we don't have heaps of like extra cash.
So I would hate to be put in a position where like I couldn't do something
for the pup that needed or whatever.
But I now feel like Torbs and I are in a really great spot,
as in house-wise, time-wise.
Like, we've got our weekends back now.
You and I, we're not working on the weekend as much.
And Torbs and I are really ready.
And I have so much love to give.
Oh, my God. So you're going to much love to give. Oh, my God.
So you're going to?
Get a dog.
Oh, my God.
Now, not that this is all about me because obviously it's not.
Yeah.
But would you say my dog BJ has been like a gateway dog?
Because I think he's been from my mum because BJ hangs out with my mum.
Mum started going, oh, it is nice having a dog in the house, isn't it?
And now mum's thinking of getting one.
So would you say the cuddles you're getting from BJ has maybe contributed
to because it reminded you just how much you love dogs?
Just say yes even if it's not true.
I mean, it definitely has helped because I'm like,
you guys make it look so easy.
You know what I mean?
BJ makes it easy because he's such a beautiful man.
Yeah.
So what are you going to get?
Are you going to get a little BJ?
So we are currently going.
When are you getting it?
So we're currently going through with our real estate agent.
We need to get their like sign off from them.
I've submitted the form and everything.
That sounds like a Tony Lodge thing to do.
Just get the dog.
Well, no, because you've got to go through all that.
Should we get it today?
So I need to wait until we get the approval from them.
And then also like I want to make sure that we're, you know,
because I really want like a dog, like a French bulldog
or, like, a pug or, like, a dachshund or something like that
because I used to have a Puggle.
That's a Puggle.
A pug cross beagle.
Oh.
And he was so gorgeous.
He was, like, black and, oh, my God, he was absolutely gorgeous.
So we want a little dog.
And also because, obviously, like, waiting for the real estate agent is, oh, my God, he's absolutely gorgeous. So we want a little dog and also because obviously like waiting
for the real estate agent is like a whole thing.
So can we get it on the weekend?
I haven't heard from the real estate agent yet
and I've got to get all the stuff for the dog.
What stuff?
Well, like you need a million things.
You just need love and affection.
And you have plenty of that.
And we've got that.
But then we need all the other stuff.
Like what?
Well.
Oh, God.
So was it earlier today that I referenced that you once spent like hours
of watching YouTube tutorials to buy a suitcase?
Yes.
How?
And last week we heard about your, oh, but I saw this thing on the internet one time.
Yep.
Oh, fuck.
I've just, yeah.
Okay.
So what's on your computer at the moment?
Okay.
So.
Are you sure you just don't want to go get it today?
Are you sure I want to know the answer to this?
So the tabs that I currently have open on my computer.
In order.
Please.
Okay.
A breeder website.
Yeah, fair.
A wiki how on how to train French bulldogs.
Yeah.
A doggy security door for rentals so that you can.
So like we've got a sliding door.
You live in an enclosed courtyard.
Is it going to scale the wall to escape?
No, no, no.
So we've got like a sliding door, but we want to put like a doggy door in
so that like he or she can come and go as he pleases.
Just leave the door open. But then that's not safe because like I'm not going to put like a doggy door in so that like he or she can come and go as he pleases. Just leave the door open.
Well, but then that's not safe because like I'm not going to just leave my dog in the
Inclosed courtyard.
No, but like the dog couldn't get out, but someone else could get in, you know.
Are they going to scale the walk?
They could do.
I don't know.
I'm not a robber.
But anyway, so there's this thing where you can put the lock on the other side and then
lock that all together so that the dog can come and go
but the door's still locked.
Locked, yeah, gotcha.
Dog enrichment toys, like they're called snuffle mats
and you hide treats in there and then they like have to snuffle through it
and it's really good for their cognitive development
and also it's really good at like burning their energy.
So like they've got things to do all day.
Wouldn't a thing it would do all day would be like hanging out with its owners
and go for a walk and just enjoy its life and live in a bougie courtyard?
So we'll walk at morning and night, of course.
But during the day, if it wants something to, you know, do.
A snuffle mat.
Yeah, that's what it's called.
They're so cute.
A fresh patch, the fresh patch website, you know,
how you like do the toilet training on like the fresh patch of grass and they come every two weeks
and change the thing.
So you toilet train it to the grass and then you just refurb the grass
every however.
So it's like a subscription thing and a competitor for comparison.
So I'm looking at the two prices.
Are they similar in price?
I've actually got another competitor.
Yeah.
You know how there's that park at the bottom of your building?
No, but then the dog needs to be able to, like,
go and do weas when it wants.
Yeah, in the fucking park.
Well, it can do that in the morning and at night.
Well, it's a cheaper option.
It's a cheaper option.
And then also, like, organic dog food that you get delivered.
But then I've also got a website open of the best food to feed a French bulldog,
like for allergies, et cetera.
How do you know if your French bulldog wants organic?
Is he a hipster?
No, we'll just try it on lots of different food, see what affects its skin,
because Frenchies can have skin problems and stuff, like bad allergies.
Where did you read that?
On the wikiHow.
Well, wikiHow is one of the more distinguished,
informative places to be on the internet.
I've also got a really chic website.
It's like Etsy with a ceramic slow-feeding bowl.
So, you know, the bowls that have got like the mazes in it
so that dogs don't get tummy ache.
It doesn't like eat its food too fast.
I've also got a tab open.
That just sounds like it's torture.
No, it's sort of like a good time.
Imagine at a restaurant, they're like, oh, you ordered the steak?
Cool, I'll just bring out a bite.
You let me know when you need the next one.
It'll come out slowly.
But it's like so that the dog doesn't get tummy ache.
Does your dog not know how to eat?
Well, no, because Frenchies especially, like they eat really quickly
and then they like can't breathe and they get a tummy ache.
They get all bloated and then they fart heaps.
You know what?
I take that back because there's someone who also eats too quickly
and forgets to breathe.
And has a little farty tummy afterwards.
I can empathise.
A first day at home with your Frenchie blog post that I found online.
No, you're making this up now.
Do you want to see the tabs?
Hang on.
How far are we getting close?
We're halfway through.
Three different
vets. Just get the dog.
Three different vets which I'm trying to decide between.
So there's like three different options
that are my top level options. There's nothing wrong with it.
It doesn't need to go to the vet. No, but I need to have like a
go-to vet. Like you have a go-to GP.
Yeah.
And then I've got two
emergency vets that I'm looking at.
So five vets.
Yep.
And then I'm also looking at a kennel with boarding information
to see like where the dog could stay if we were going to go away
because I want to make sure that we've got like a good option
for if we were away the dog would have like a safe place to go.
Can you take care of BJ when me and Bridge go away for the weekend next week?
Of course.
Because you've just reminded me that Bridge keeps reminding me
it's my job to find a place for BJ.
And you just said kennel and I went, and I was like.
I need to do that.
Okay, thanks for that.
Well, I've got the tab open so I could organize it for you now.
The Furbo website.
But this is stuff that you do when you go away.
No, but I want to make sure that we've got enough.
Because I'm not going to get the dog and then be like, oh,
what are we going to do with it when we go away?
And then just like, what's the dog going to do?
Like live on the street?
Yeah, but you're not going to, you, Tony Lodge, don't decide to go to Japan on the Thursday
and leave on the Friday.
No, I don't.
So can I just put something out there?
Can I keep reading the website?
Wow.
So I've got the Furbo website open.
What's that mean?
The Furbo, you know, the Furbo camera where the dog like is on the camera.
So it's like a nanny cam.
The dog has privacy.
I don't like that.
And then a Furbo blog, which is five steps to train your puppy.
The Pet Barn website because I was looking at toys and leads.
Another tab open of the Furbo website.
And another info tab about French Bulldogs and good breeders in Victoria.
So I'm just being chill.
I'm like, yeah, what happens will happen.
Has anyone done more research than this?
And is this infuriating to anyone else?
Because I've got a theory.
What is it?
And this might rock you to your core.
It will.
Because it might speak to what's going on inside of Tony Lodge.
Oh.
Because it might speak to what's going on inside of Tony Lodge. Oh.
Are you creating all these tasks and things to research to just delay getting the dog?
No, I want the dog.
I want the dog so bad.
It sounds like you like looking at the internet.
No.
It sounds like you want to be on your laptop Googling dogs
and not actually getting the love and affection of your dog.
Are you prepared to say the name we've come up with yet?
I've come up with about 70 names.
I can show you this.
Tony sent me an Excel spreadsheet and a list of likes, maybes,
probably not, but cool.
The thing is, is that because we can't get the dog yet
because the landlord hasn't approved it.
Well, that's your opinion.
No, they haven't approved it yet.
What happens if you just come home with the dog?
Well, I wouldn't do that because it's not the right thing to do.
For who?
The dog.
The dog needs you.
It needs love.
You need the dog.
Torbs needs the dog.
It's not fair.
So this is biding my time because I want the dog so fucking bad that I'm like I have to just like put time into it so that I'm like still feel like I'm preparing.
It's like nesting.
You know how like women like paint a nursery?
This is my nesting.
Oh, I've got to put dog crates on here.
Can we?
Yeah.
Today, Thursday, the 15th of September, can we?
I don't want to say due date.
But the thing is, is that I'm not pushing this back.
I want the dog so bad.
I'm, like, so fucking pumped for the dog.
Would you be pissed if I just rocked up with the dog to your apartment?
Well, yeah, because I can't have a dog yet.
Has BJ been in your apartment?
No.
No.
He came to our old house.
Yeah.
He came to our old house.
He did.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But not to the new one.
No.
Because that wouldn't be right.
Because I haven't been approved yet. Yeah. Yeah. But not to the new one. No. Because that wouldn't be right. Because I haven't been approved yet.
Yeah.
I wasn't approved with the old one.
So when you are able to take beach for the weekend,
then a few weeks though?
That should be fine.
Your landlord wouldn't listen to this.
I don't know.
I fucking hope not.
I fucking hope not.
Oh, no.
They're in Australia.
So there's no way.
No, no.
Yeah.
We're all good.
We're all good. We're all good.
We're all good.
Well, I'd love for people to give you some advice for looking for a dog in episode three
today in Facebook.
I've lodged the application with like the VCAT people, like the fucking tribunal.
Yeah.
Because I want the dog so bad.
And like legally in Victoria, they can't say no anymore unless they have like a just cause
to not do it.
What is a just cause?
I don't know.
Like maybe allergies or if the building didn't allow it.
But our neighbours have animals because John the Cat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Will this spell the end of John the Cat?
Because John the Cat.
I'm hoping that John and the Frenchie named TBD will be friends.
I'm hoping.
TBD, totally big dip.
What's the...
Yeah, to be decided.
Yeah.
To be dogged.
To be dogged.
Watch this space.
Yeah, very exciting stuff though.
Okay.
Sorry, a few more questions.
Yep.
Questions.
Will...
Will you being a dog owner become your personality?
Yes.
And I'm so excited.
I'm going to be that person who's like, want to go and get a coffee?
Yeah, I'll bring the pooch.
Yeah, I like that.
Yeah, what should we do?
Oh, well, I've got to bring the dog.
Oh, can we go and do that thing?
Oh, is it dog friendly?
You know.
Okay, I'll prepare myself for this.
I'm so excited.
Because this is all my love.
Like, Torbs and I aren't preparing on having children.
Yeah.
We're not planning
on having children.
We're preparing
on having children.
We're not planning
on having children.
This is our babe.
Like this is it.
Our pooch is our little smoocher.
Is that?
I reckon there's a lot.
Oh my God.
Please don't cry.
Are you crying?
No.
I'm just really excited
and I just really want them
to approve it
so that we can fucking
get the dog. I'm so excited. Will this dog? Uh-huh. I'm just really excited and I just really want them to approve it so that we can fucking get the dog.
I'm so excited.
Will this dog?
Uh-huh.
I'm so scared.
Yep.
The dog's not allowed to sleep in the bed, Torbs has already told me.
Hang on.
No, no.
So we'll see.
If Torbs says the dog's not allowed to sleep with him,
then I hope Torbs gets fucking comfy on that couch.
Yeah, because the dog's sleeping with me in the bed.
Or I'll sleep on the couch with the dog.
Yeah, to the dog, yeah.
I may have done that last night when I fell asleep watching The Block.
Doesn't The Block start at like 7 o'clock?
I got up pretty early yesterday.
It was a big day yesterday.
It was a big day yesterday.
Will the dog have its own Instagram page?
No.
Nah.
Not doing that.
You say that.
Nah.
The only reason I would is because if the spam
got too... For cash. No, not for cash.
If the spam on my page was too much
and people were like, I don't care about your fucking dog.
Put it somewhere else. Yeah.
You could be a dog mum. Like, you could really go
all in on that. Yeah.
Normally, I would
be a bit cringe about that, but I would support this.
I don't have any hobbies.
This is your hobby.
That's what I mean.
That's why I think I'm all about it.
That's why I'm enjoying the research, I think,
because I'm like, I'm working towards this pub.
Yeah.
And I'm going to have it forever.
Like, you know, hopefully at least 10 years.
I cried the other day because I realised that BJ wouldn't.
Oh, my God, don't,
because I think about it with Torbs all the time.
Torbs is.
Torbs is my other pooch.
Yeah, but Torbs doesn't have a lifespan of.
Ten years.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How old's BJ?
Four.
Four.
Getting in.
What's that in.
That's.
Oh, no wonder he's getting grisly.
He's getting into his mid-thirties.
Yeah, I think he's four and a half.
He's getting into his thirties and he's getting a bit grisly.
Which I like.
A bit of attitude.
Yeah, it is good.
A bit of attitude.
He had a bit of attitude yesterday, actually.
He did, didn't he?
Yeah.
Anyway, so I'm very, very excited and I'll keep everyone updated on the dog saga.
I've got to get you to love to see it here.
Well, no, I'll go first because you want me to tell mine again.
Oh, sorry, yeah.
You know what I love to see?
What do you love to see?
When you buy too much parking on your parking ticket. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know what I love to see? What do you love to see? When you buy too much parking on your parking ticket.
Oh, yeah, and then what do you do with it?
And then as you're pulling out, someone's going to take your spot
and you go, oh, hey, mate, I've got an hour left on this tiki.
You interested?
And what do they say?
And they go, oh, mate, that'll be great.
I'm just running in for a toothbrush.
How cool is it?
For a toothbrush?
Don't worry, she might not even park her truck. Toothbrush? Give me the tea. How good's this? For a toothbrush? Don't waste your money for parking a truck.
Toothbrush?
Give me the tea.
How good's this?
I've got a toothbrush in the car.
Hey, take that one.
Take this.
Yeah, how good's that?
You do love to see that.
It's the best feeling.
It's so good.
And doesn't it puff your chest up when you do it as well?
It really does.
And you feel like a hero.
Their day is made.
Mate, I reckon tell that one again tomorrow.
You asked me to tell it again because you had a story about it.
Did I? You said
tell that again later, I've got something.
No, I've got a laugh in the tank and here it is.
Great one. I fucking hate it here.
I'm going to go hang out with my dog
that I don't have yet. Go and get it. Go and get it today.
I can't.
Not with that attitude.
Crystal from Lismore messages.
Hi, Crystal from Lismore. Earlier this year, Ryan shared a message I sent him Crystal from Lismore messages. Hi, Crystal from Lismore.
Earlier this year, Ryan shared a message I sent him about the Lismore floods
and how it's completely devastating.
We sent a bit of a shout out.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe that people are still dealing with the after effects of that.
Insane.
So, Crystal, she had her partner's whole family living with them.
Yeah, I remember.
Wow.
I mean, if the flood wasn't bad enough, living with the in-laws.
I know, right?
What's worse?
Fuck.
Fucking send me down the river.
My love to see it, says Crystal, is that six months later,
we've been approved for a new place, we're moving,
and the in-laws can get the fuck out of my life.
Oh, Crystal.
Get around it.
You love to see that.
Yeah.
Oh, God, that's good news.
Yeah, so she's gone, hey, you can have our place.
We're out of here.
We're getting a new one for ourselves.
And you, again, look like the hero because you're like, you know what?
You guys need your space.
Yeah, you need space.
We want you to have this place.
We'll move.
You look cramped.
Yeah, we'll take a hike.
Because I wouldn't want you to get annoyed
at us. And I bet you Crystal picked somewhere
that was like a bit too far to visit
every day. Yeah, a bit of a
tree challenge.
I know we've moved out to Lismore which is a beautiful spot.
We're going a bit further inland. Yeah, Perth.
Just across the street
slash Nullarbor. Yeah, all good.
All good, mate.
All good.
Tomorrow, the vodcast is back so you can watch tomorrow's episode.
Ooh.
And.
Sorry, that one.
Ooh.
I don't know what that was.
And Flapped Tony returns.
Oh.
People have sent through their stories that might send our sweet, innocent Tony a bit angry.
Not angry, a bit, what would you say the word is?
Flapped.
Flapped.
We should call it Flapped Tony.
That's a great idea.
Maybe we should call it Flapped Tony.
That's a great idea.
That's a great idea.
That's tomorrow on the show.
Chat to you then.
Love you.
Bye.
Bye.
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