Toni and Ryan - What gives you BDE?
Episode Date: July 14, 2022WHAT'S YOUR ✨ YES BITCH ✨ ?!?!?! We wanna know! Plus Ryan addresses the public with an apology. Love ya!! Toni xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Face...book Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hello?
Diana?
Yes?
It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? Good, how are you? Yeah, we're well. Hi, Diana. Yes. It's Tony and Ryan.
How are you doing?
Good, how are you?
Yeah, we're well.
Hi, Diana.
How's it going?
Well, we're good and we're glad that we're talking to Diana Cripps
and not Diana Bluth.
I know, right?
I get that all the time.
I bet.
I'm so sorry.
No, you should be.
Will you approve this episode?
I guess.
I mean, I have been thinking about it all day.
So, you know.
Yeah, I approve.
We'll twist your arm, but okay, great.
You can be in the Tony and Ryan gang instead.
Okay, I'm totally in.
Do I get a t-shirt?
Hey, it's Diana from Delaware and I and Ryan podcast.
Happy Friday.
Happy Friday.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, no, you go.
Did you want to go?
My name's Tony and it's first on the poster,
so I feel like I should go first.
I'm Tony.
This is Ryan.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Anything else you'd like to say?
Happy Frying Day.
Happy Frying Day. I'm the vice captain of the ship, Tony. This is Ryan. Oh, okay. Yeah. Anything else you'd like to? Happy Friar Day. Happy Friar Day.
I'm the vice captain of the ship, Tony.
As you have just heard, her name's first.
I just want to assert myself.
And as of Monday, your name and job title on LinkedIn is Muscles.
Yes.
Because?
I carry the show.
Thank you so much to the people that not only suggested that
but openly endorsed.
And I'm glad you've really lent into that.
Coming up on this episode, have you ever had a moment
where you've had an interaction with someone,
the way you did something, something you said and you thought,
oh, if I had my time again, I probably might have gone
about that a bit differently.
You cringe about a conversation you've had previously.
Do you ever think, oh, I wish I had have said this?
Yes.
Yeah.
But in an argument sense.
Righto.
If someone, like, comes at me, then I just go, okay.
But later on in the shower, I'm like, oh,
I should have told them where to stick it.
So I actually witnessed this happen to you on the road
when they said, oh, no worries, ma'am, I'll get you a Coke.
And you went, okay.
And then you went, no, I'm going to stand up for myself.
And you went, can I actually get a diet?
And they were like, yep.
Yeah, it's totally fine.
They did not give a fuck.
Yeah.
Yep.
But I'm proud of you.
But I would have drunk that Coke and been like,
that's not what I wanted.
And then later you would have gone to bed going, if only I had.
Yeah.
I would.
No, I would.
I would.
I absolutely would.
But are you saying this has happened to you or are you just trying to make me feel bad
about myself?
There's been some moments that I wish I could change and without giving too much away, I
could be apologetic.
Okay.
Coming up soon.
Well, something that other people should be apologetic for is what I want to talk about
first.
We've all seen it over the last week, taken the internet by storm, vabbing.
Even the word.
It's aggressive, eh?
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say vabbing is a more gross word
than moist.
Oh, it makes me think of dabbing.
But with you.
Can I dab one more time? Yeah, that was pretty good. Thanks. It's the wrists. Yeah, it is. You do. You're think of dabbing. But with you. Can I dab one more time?
Yeah, that was pretty good.
Thanks.
It's the wrists.
Yeah, it is.
You do?
You're a great dabber.
Yeah, I am.
I've got a nephew who's only like 16.
Yeah, of course.
So if you're new to vabbing.
If you're new to it.
The concept of it.
Can you please, Tony Lodge, fill me and the tapas in.
Don't say fill me.
Fill me and the tapas in on what this is. Okay. Fill me and the tarpa's in on what this is.
Okay.
So this is the official definition that I found online.
Sorry to that lady who messaged us and said whenever you...
Every time you dry reach, I dry reach.
Yeah, shame though.
Don't listen to this episode, champion.
So basically the video went viral on TikTok.
I'm going to explain to you what it is if you haven't seen it.
This is not my words.
This is the internet's words.
Basically you wear vaginal fluids as perfume.
You put your fingers inside yourself, dab your juice on your wrists,
neck and behind your ears wherever you'd normally put perfume.
People talking about it on TikTok reckon the pheromones
from your poussoir, which is a technical term,
poussoir, will help you attract partners and they swear by it.
So, and I mean, in theory, because heaven forbid,
the reality is.
Yeah.
Hypothetically.
Hypothetically.
Yes.
The pheromones attract others and it's got this scent of like.
Power.
Yeah.
So basically the way that perfume works is that you put it
on your pulse points.
Right.
So the idea is that like, and correct me if I'm wrong
in the Facebook thread, but I'm pretty sure that because it's
where the veins are close to the skin.
And so as the blood, it actually pushes, like, the smell off you
and, like, that's why you put perfume in, like, specific places.
On the rear side of the neck kind of vibe?
Yeah, back here or, like, on the back of your knees or whatever,
apparently are, like, good places to put.
I'm pretty sure that that's why.
And so obviously you're putting the VAB juice, the Puslois juice,
the pussy fluid.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
Sorry, I'm trying to be scientific.
So you put the pussy fluid.
Why say a gross word once when you can use four different ones?
Onto your wrists or behind your ears.
Okay, so when you first see this, because the video has been doing the rounds,
the word vabbing has been doing the rounds.
When you first see this, the video has been doing the rounds the word vabbing has been doing the rounds when you first see this tony lodge yeah what's your first reaction i thought i wonder if
it works because so you thought that before you went that's fucked i mean it's not that it's
fucked because of what it is but it's also fucked because of what it is yeah i like it's i'm not
afraid of the human body and i think there'd be a lot of people
that are like, no, don't put your pussy on your arm.
Like, and that's fair enough.
But it's not because I'm scared of the body.
It's because, like, I feel like it is incredibly personal.
Yeah.
And me smelling my own or someone that I, like, an intimate partner or something is
a bit different to, like, going to Coles with your juice on your arm.
Yeah.
So when you think, does it work, what does work mean?
Like someone will walk past and just be like, oh,
I don't know what it is about that person, but I just feel like.
If we strip it back to the pheromone thing, because that's a real thing.
That's a real thing.
It is a real thing, yeah.
And like, so say my partner Torbs, we've been together for a really long time.
If he's, like, just done a workout or he's been at work all day or something,
I like the smell of him.
A working man.
But, like, if I can smell his sweat or he's, like, a bit musty or whatever,
I, like, don't.
It's not, like like pongy to me.
Yeah.
It's just the human body.
Yeah, I can just smell.
It's like his smell.
It's like, you know how everyone's like hair has a different smell?
So like if I'm, if we're like cuddling on the couch or something,
I'm never like, oh, you are stinky.
I'm like, you just smell like you to me.
Yeah.
But is it a matter of only liking someone else's, like,
stinky smell, like, if you're actually connected
or does it only smell good to certain people?
Well, that's my question of when you explain it in the pheromones,
I can understand with your partner who you already know.
Yeah.
But when you're like, oh, I'm going to the office today,
I don't have any of my izzy miyaki, maybe I'll just and, you know,
apply something else.
Poke and swipe.
And then you're sitting next to someone in the boardroom in a meeting.
Are they going to be like, ooh, Tony?
Or are they going to be like, what the fuck?
What is that?
Yeah.
So I have a question.
If you have, like, been working out, like, playing basketball down
with your mates or whatever, or if Bridget's been working out
or working all day or whatever, like, do you feel like the same
that way that I do?
Like, it doesn't put you off.
You're not like, ew, you're stinky.
You're just like, you smell like you.
Yeah, no, absolutely.
I agree.
Because one thing I hate, you know, and this is like a real stereotype thing. Yeah. But you know how now, like, girls being, like, fit and strong is, no, absolutely, I agree because one thing I hate, you know, and this is like a real stereotype thing.
Yeah.
But you know how now like girls being like fit and strong is like empowering
where back in the day it was a bit like, oh, she's too muscly for a girl.
Sure.
I associate like the smell of like BO of like, oh,
you've been out doing something working hard.
I don't think that's something to be embarrassed about.
And even if you go, I don't want to go running, I'll get sweaty,
and you're like, but that's what running is.
It's breaking your sweat and being physical.
I feel like I would be fine if my partner did this.
But, yeah, I don't think I like the idea of smelling that of somebody else.
I'm going to put it out there.
Yep.
Here for the episode thread, it is a no judgement zone
because I am genuinely curious because the people on TikTok,
is it fair to say there's a few like younger,
out and about single people who are like it's part of my, you know,
I'm going out there, put my best foot forward
and I'm going to like meet someone tonight.
I actually watched a TikTok today of a woman that did it at the gym
and she reckoned someone hit on her.
But do you know what I think it is?
What?
I don't know.
Is it the placebo?
Yeah.
You know when you're wearing like a hot as fuck dress
or really like sexy underwear or you've like there's just something,
you've done your hair or you're having a good day and you feel good
and you're like, God, and heaps of people checked me out on the street.
It's because you feel confident.
So I feel like if you're putting this on your wrist and you're vabbing,
right, you're probably like, cool, I feel really in touch with my body.
I feel really empowered.
I think that's the thing that's going to give you those vibes
and that's what's going to make people check you out.
You've decided by deciding to rap that you're like, I'm on today.
You are quite literally putting yourself out there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is there a name for, remember how I told you about me
and Dave had that shirt?
Oh, I don't think that was on the podcast though.
Okay, so a good mate, Dave.
Yep.
We grew up together.
I had this random shirt.
Dave Parsons.
Yeah, and so I don't know why, like it was like a fancy,
you'd only wear it on a special occasion.
And when you're a teenager, that's pretty rare to have like a collar
and a button-up shirt on.
But it was this like sort of not even fancy.
It had like these poker.
It was a fun shirt.
It was a fun shirt.
And so a few times I'd like maybe, I'm just so aware that my mum listens
to this podcast, right, I like met some people whilst wearing the shirt.
You picked up.
Yeah.
Hey, Mandy.
You wouldn't know.
Your mum.
Oh.
So.
Wow.
And then I wore it a few times and every time I wore it I.
Picked up.
Picked up.
And then Dave.
You put your penis in someone.
Or maybe not.
You fabbed them.
The ultimate fab.
The original fab.
And then Dave borrowed the shirt once and then he, like,
met a girl when he was wearing it and we're like, it's the shirt.
But then, like you were saying before, maybe it's just how we were acting
in the shirt because we felt confident and fun.
It wasn't the shirt at all.
No.
And I'm curious to know if other people have, from Dave and I,
it was the shirt, but like you said, maybe it's, like,
the sexy underwear that you just like,
when I wear these I'm fucking feeling myself, I'm up and about.
For some other people it might be the fancy, you know,
Izzy Miyake or Hugo Boss, what's the word, cologne?
Yeah.
Whatever your thing is that you're like, I'm fucking feeling up,
and it could be that dress.
Is there a name for this thing?
What's your fucking just vibing myself is it your own
big dick energy yeah like is that the the that girl thing yeah but i'm just like i'm feeling
i'm racking my brain right now i don't have that thing man your personality is that thing no you
are that thing no but i'm not i don't feel like i have that at all. I feel so not, this is not, I'm not like begging for attention,
but I don't feel confident like ever.
Oh, Tony.
No, oh, my God, like every time.
But like I don't feel like a confident person.
And I'm like, oh, maybe I'm missing out.
I don't have that thing that whenever I put it on I'm like, yes, bitch.
I don't have that thing.
Do you have a thing?
What's your yes, bitch thing?
Do you have a thing? Well, when I was, before I worked in accounting. Do you still have that shirt. Do you have a thing? What's your yes bitch thing? Do you have a thing?
Well, when I was, before I worked in accounting.
Do you still have that shirt?
Could I borrow it?
Before I worked in accounting, I didn't wear suits
because I have to wear a suit every day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So before suits became like corporate boring.
When you're just, because I didn't have a school uniform.
I was just wearing jeans and a t-shirt every day.
So suddenly you put like a nice shirt on and you're kind of like, oh.
I'm done.
I'm fucking grown up.
I'm feeling good.
You got your yes bitch.
Got your yes bitch on.
Yeah.
I want to know what everyone else's yes bitch is.
Me too.
And a suggestion for Tony because I'm feeling like you're curious
about the vabbing but that's not going to be your best thing.
I'm not going to do it.
I actually, what I was going to do for the podcast today was do it
and then record Torbs and be like,
do you like this new perfume that I tried?
I just couldn't do it.
Yeah.
Like I actually just couldn't bring myself to do it.
And that is me with somebody who I have literally known for 10 years.
When I say I feel like you're curious about it,
I didn't mean curious to do it.
I mean the concept of like does this work, what the fuck.
I'm just super into, yeah, the empowering side of things, I think.
And, yeah, now I feel like I'm missing out because I don't have the.
What about when you used to wear that leather jacket?
No, I don't like that.
I don't think it's for me.
I want my leather jacket to be that thing, but it's not.
Oh, excuse me.
When you get your hair done, because, you know,
everyone's up and about in the comments.
You came in feeling good and hot and because you had your hair done
and you were looking great and feeling great.
Would you describe that feeling as yes, bitch?
Maybe.
I mean, if that's your response, the answer's no.
Maybe, bitch.
Send through your responses.
We need some help.
Hey, it's Diana from Delaware and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
Big shout out to some of our champion talkers.
Archie Leonard Clifford, thank you so much.
Greg Carosi, Doreen Miller, Brian Thornberry, thank you so much.
Jordan Simmons, Morgan Solomon, Spencer Shields, Alex Jack,
Triple the Kitten, Timothy Calston,
and a special shout-out for Da Finchie Code for his partner,
Megs and Bacon.
She's had her appendix out.
We hope you get better soon.
Get well soon.
Not sure how serious it was.
You know how sometimes when people get their appendix out and it's like fucking do or die like a minute before?
Yeah.
Yeah, hectic.
I don't know the situation.
A mate of mine like went to the hospital and imagine how embarrassing it is
because he didn't realise it was his appendix and he's like,
I felt like I just need to fart.
Oh, because the pressure.
Yeah, and he's like, I just feel like I need to rip a massive fart.
And my friends were laughing at me yesterday, but like 24 hours later,
like it still feels like I just need to fart.
And they're like, oh.
And, you know, push here.
Pushing on his tummy and stuff.
And they go, what about this?
And he's like, oh.
And they're like, fucking straight in.
You're about to die.
Straight in.
Appendix straight out.
Oh, you hear some horror stories, eh?
I would just like to get mine out.
I don't want to get to the point where maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Like, fucking rip straight out. Oh, you hear some horror stories, AFP. I would just like to get mine out. I don't want to get to the point where maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
Like, fucking rip it out.
But anyway, I'm sure the tarp going through that is going to be great.
Yeah, mix and bake and hope you're great.
Yeah, fine.
No problems at all.
We announced this week that we are teaming up with our good friends at Spotify.
Yeah, woo!
So from August 8th, we will be exclusive on Spotify.
But there's a few frequently asked questions.
Yes.
So we thought we'd tidy a few up.
Tony, would you like to be the representative of Tony and Ryan?
Oh, please.
Here are the questions.
Okay.
Here's a few quick fire to start with.
Okay.
Are we employed by Spotify?
No, we are not.
Who owns this podcast?
Tony and Ryan.
There you go.
We're the boss.
We're the boss.
Which apps after August 8th will you be able to hear this podcast on?
Spotify only.
So even the existing back catalogue, that will all be removed
and will only be accessible on Spotify.
So it's not like only the new episodes.
Everything will be on Spotify.
We were concerned about happening to annoy people
because some people aren't on Spotify and we get that.
So how many people were already on Spotify and we get that. So how many
people were already on Spotify and how did that impact our decision? Well, I'm pretty sure,
what is it, like 72% of people or something? And it was a really big decision because we wanted to
make sure that it would work for lots of people and nothing will work for everybody. But this was
the way forward for us to make sure that we can do this for as long as we can.
People often ask, like, oh, I hope you keep making the podcast.
This was the right decision for us to make sure we can be there
for you for as long as possible.
Now, how much do you have to pay to listen to the Tony and Ryan podcast?
$0.
What, $0?
$0.
What do you mean $0?
Tony and Ryan, the podcast, will always be free.
But don't I have to pay for Spotify Premium?
No.
Do I sound really condescending like a fuckhead right now?
No, you sound like we're on a...
Infomercial?
Yeah.
Are you saying it's $0?
You don't have life insurance.
Well, for the price of a cup of coffee, you could.
You'd be good at that.
Thank you.
That was really good.
Yeah, maybe I'll do that when the podcast... Yeah. When people stop paying for it. No. You'd be good at that. Thank you. That was really good. Yeah, maybe I'll do that when the podcast, you know,
when people stop paying for it.
No.
So the podcast will always be free.
You do not need Spotify Premium to listen to the podcast.
So, like, Spotify Premium is actually more for the music side of things.
Yeah, it actually doesn't mean.
No.
So, like, Spotify podcasts still have ads on them the way that they do
if you listen on Apple Podcasts or Podbean or whatever.
There could be still those harrowing dungeon.
The London Dungeon ads.
Yeah.
And hopefully they are because they're very on brand.
I'll be chatting to the London Dungeon.
We'll pay them to advertise.
But, yeah, so I think there's been a big thing of people being like,
oh, you know, I already pay for a lot of streaming services.
We would never move somewhere where you had to pay for the pod.
Oh, the other thing is the Patreon is separate.
A lot of people messaged asking, oh,
will the Patreon not be going on anymore?
It absolutely will.
And there is bonus extra exclusive content on Patreon only as well.
Including this Sunday.
A Christmas in July stream for our champion tapas.
Yep, so enjoy that.
Our final question here.
Yes, sir.
How can I watch these full-length vodcasts?
Actually, first of all, because there were a few interesting questions,
what is a vodcast?
It is not us drinking vodka and making a podcast.
But thank you to the person who was like, hang on a second,
does this mean what I fucking think it means?
Friday drinks or something?
No.
It is a video podcast.
Basically, it will be in the Spotify app and you can either listen
to the audio like you're listening right now or you can watch it.
So we're going to aim to do one or two of those a week when we get started
because I am literally teaching myself how to cut video to do this.
The audio queen is becoming the multimedia queen.
That does sound good, doesn't it?
Can I change my LinkedIn to multimedia muscles?
The alliteration makes me want to vab.
Yeah, want to vab.
It's vab.
I was like that dab with a V.
Yeah.
Anyway, so you can watch those, but it's like it will be on
in the background, I think, and it's the same audio on the video
as what you're hearing.
So it's not as if you don't have to pick one or the other.
It's the same thing.
It's the exact same thing.
But, yeah, I reckon we'll look at doing a couple of those.
Well, actually, I'm not going to overcommit because I literally
have to teach myself how to do it.
A minimum one, probably two a week.
Yeah.
We'll see.
Once the multimedia muscles gets in the gym.
I'm going to do what I can.
Yeah.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
Have you ever had a moment where in reflection you wish you said
something else, did something else, maybe didn't do something that you did?
Mm-hmm.
I feel like we've all had that.
Definitely.
Yeah.
And I'm not like fucking trying to poke the bear here,
but do you spend a bit of time kind of replaying conversations
and thinking this or maybe replaying conversations in advance
and being like, oh, if it gets like this, I'll say that
and then I'll do this.
Definitely the second one because I always think things are going
to go way worse than they actually ever end up going.
Yep.
The second one of like replaying something and wishing
that I did it differently, a lot less than I used to,
which I think is growth, but I definitely do it.
That is good.
I would like to call a press conference because I have
a few public apologies to make because I regret a few things
that I've been doing.
Everyone right to go? Everyone right to go? It's a joke for us Victorians. Everyone right to go?
Everyone right to go?
It's a joke for us Victorians.
Everyone right to go?
Everyone right to go.
Firstly, I've got a few things that I'm sorry for.
Is this an apology for me or just in general or?
Sorry, sir, please continue.
Do you need to apologise for anything?
Sorry.
There's a few things I need to apologise for.
There's also a few things I'm standing by and I will not apologise for.
Wow.
But let's start with an apology.
You're coming in pretty hot for someone that's willing to apologise, I feel.
I was in a bad mood on Wednesday.
I feel like we all know that.
Mm-hmm.
What was the name of the episode on Wednesday?
Brian's in a bad mood.
Tony made some wild claims about being a psychic,
which for me can be a triggering topic.
A lady who was 40 weeks into her pregnancy,
she was due to give birth any day now,
and Tony somehow predicted that she would give birth
in the next few days.
I was a bit of a dick about that.
You're being a dick about it now.
Just then, the way that you delivered that.
I was just bringing people up to speed.
She somehow realised that she was going to get...
I was just trying to bring people up to speed.
No, but you're still being an arsehole about it.
See, this just puts me in a bad mood.
Do you need to apologise?
No.
I'm trying to apologise.
No, but you're not, because you literally...
I was just bringing people up to speed.
No, the way that you just said that,
Tony thought that somehow
she realised this woman gave birth.
Tony, not only am I apologetic for my mood the other day,
but I'm sorry for the other day and I'm sorry for the way I just said that.
I don't accept.
Next one.
What do you mean you don't accept?
I don't accept.
Is this like a challenge?
No.
No challenge, but I'm just saying I don't accept it.
If you had have delivered that more sincerely just then,
of course I would have.
But the way that you've just delivered that and said,
Tony reckons somehow she realised that someone was going to give birth,
even though that 40-weeks pregnant.
Let me draw a line and maybe some kind of compromise.
No.
The specific story about the birth thing is like, okay, but.
Are you apologising or not?
But overall, with your psychic abilities and your want to be a psychic
and just you wanting to live your best life,
I'm sorry for
not supporting that because i am a supporter even though i'm just trying to say i'm sorry
but you're not because just then you didn't make it sound like you were sorry okay let's go to my
next you know what i would have accepted you saying i'm sorry for being in a bad mood i am
sorry for being in bed but instead you've done that and that's fucked me off. Next. Thank you ladies and gentlemen for coming out here today. In the past I've been
accused of over-exaggerating the size of Tony's courtyard and making fun of the fact that she has
a finance team. What? Nothing. I'm listening. Excuse me?
I'm listening to you.
Yesterday we did a live stream from Tony's house in the Facebook group real quick because John the Cat.
Appeared.
She appeared.
I've been misgendering John the Cat.
Yes, you have.
I kept saying he.
John is a she.
I'm sorry about that.
And this is the first time I saw her in the flesh.
And I was like, not that I didn't believe you.
In the fur.
So I was like, oh, quick, let's put it on live
and we can show all the tapas in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group
that he is John.
Literally, I was like, we should go live on Facebook
and you were like, that's what I'm doing.
It was so great.
It was very exciting.
But the comments.
And Sophie, she got a personalised video with John in it.
Sophie on Patreon.
Yeah, we're mid personalised videos.
And I was like, John is on it!
A lot of people said, oh, John, she's beautiful.
But I feel like most of the commentary was about Tony's courtyard.
That's because most of what you said was about my courtyard.
Amy Shebra.
The courtyard.
So much bigger than I thought it was.
Amber Ehrenberg.
Holy shit, look at the size of that courtyard.
Dee Dee Prince.
Is that a courtyard?
It looks more like a tennis court to me.
Jessica Renee.
That's a fucking huge courtyard, Tony.
Finance team coming through with the goods.
And then someone said, Tony,
did your finance team come over and land their helicopter in that courtyard?
Fucking hell.
Okay.
So whilst I am apologetic about my mood on Wednesday,
not only am I not apologetic about talking up the size
of your courtyard, I actually feel quite vindicated
that now hundreds of people have seen it and they go,
actually, you know what, Ryan?
You've probably undersold that.
Great use of the term vindicated, by the way.
Thank you.
I'm working on my vocabulary, my lexicon.
I would like to stand up for myself here.
John the cat is so small.
I love this.
So relative, the courtyard looks huge because she's just a tiny cat.
John the cat is the size of an ant.
She's a little baby.
So it's actually a dollhouse courtyard.
Anyway, I'm not apologising for that.
But I do have another apology.
Oh, fucking hell.
I didn't watch the movie this week, Little Miss Sunshine.
People didn't like that.
They didn't like that.
And you know what?
And I'm glad.
They're right to not like that.
I quit my job so I could focus on this podcast
and I couldn't watch a movie?
Yep.
That's not fucking good enough.
That's not on, mate.
As the vice-captain of this ship, I am sorry,
and that is not good enough and that will not happen again.
I'll appreciate that one because it is the second time
you haven't watched the movie.
I thought I got away with the first one, but obviously not.
The Grinch you didn't watch.
Oh, I fell asleep.
I tried.
That's different.
I watched the first half.
What, did you fall asleep when you worked in the office?
No comment.
No comment. No comment.
No questions.
No questions at this press conference.
Finally, during the live video.
Oh, there's another fucking thing.
I thought it's.
How much do you have to fucking apologise for?
This is my confession.
Is it not?
How do I put this?
Oh, God.
Isn't it like the right thing to do to say when you're out of line
to put your hand up and go, you know what?
I was out of line.
Yeah.
I've got something else to cop.
This was actually my bad.
Yeah.
During that live video we mentioned you were telling a story
about how you were doing yoga.
Yes.
Oh, fuck you.
And I scoffed at the fact you were doing yoga.
Yeah, body shamed me basically on the internet.
Don't you fucking, I would never.
Body shamed me on the internet.
Fat phobic.
Fuck you, fuck you.
The amount of times I've tried to talk you up
and talk myself into talking you up in this room,
I will not be told that.
You then pointed out the yoga mat.
Yeah.
And that was supposed to be evidence.
Yeah, it was supposed to be evidence.
And then I scoffed again at the suggestion that having a yoga mat
and doing yoga was somehow mutually like had something
to do with each other.
Now, I would like to apologise because whilst a lot of people
have yoga mats and do yoga, in my experience, as someone who's had a yoga mat
and moved it from the Bunbury house, the Perth apartment,
when we used to live out in Beaufort and then moved it into Richmond,
we've moved that yoga mat to four or five different houses
and I've used it about zero times.
Yeah.
So when you said my proof for doing yoga is having a yoga mat,
that's my experience.
Yeah, but not everyone's experience is the same.
I know, and that's why I've just put my laziness onto you.
Thank you.
And I apologise for that.
I appreciate that.
Thank you.
When was the last time you used it though?
I actually use it pretty often because I use it because the floor
in my lounge room is carpet.
That peels really easily.
So if I'm doing literally any exercise, it like scuffs up the carpet.
So I actually use it a lot.
And I probably actually need to replace it.
I use it that much because it's all like getting pilling,
like on the, you know, how the rubber like kicks up.
I don't think I'm going to be alone here,
but I think my intention to exercise and doing the exercise is way off.
Oh, my God, because your intentions are so pure and good.
And I never, ever get around to it.
And can I tell you something really embarrassing?
Always.
Because I plan to go to the gym all the time, very rarely get there.
It's always like, oh, if I've got time later and I never do.
But it's just clearly deep down not a priority. I mean, if it was, I would just go, right. But obviously I'm
making excuses. I get to the gym the other day, the one in Richmond and they go, oh,
we've just changed the, um, the, the opening and closing times for winter or something.
Oh yeah. They close a bit early. That's pretty normal. Yeah. On the weekends at night. Cause
I mean, who's going to the gym at Saturday night at nine o'clock. Especially when it's
cold. It's cold. Yeah. So I get there and he goes, oh, sorry, are you coming to the gym?
And I was like, yeah.
And he's like, oh, we've just changed the time.
Sorry, we're closing soon.
You might not get a full workout in.
I'm so sorry.
And I was like, oh, that's all right.
How long until you guys close?
And he goes, an hour and 10 minutes.
So you went, fuck, I better go home.
I was like, mate, I don't know if you've seen me here before,
probably haven't because I'm rarely here.
I could do inverted commas, full rhyme workout, go home, have a bath,
come back and do it again and still have time to spare.
Could you imagine telling someone there's only an hour and a half to work out?
What am I going to do with the other 55 minutes?
Do you know what?
I would probably be like, oh, I'll just come back tomorrow.
I'd go home.
Did you go in?
Yeah. No, you didn't. Did you actually? No, I'll just come back tomorrow. I'd go home. Did you go in? Yeah.
No, you didn't.
Did you actually?
No, I did.
I did.
But I mean, that could have been a good out.
But I thought if I'm going to sit here and if I'm going to stand here,
look this guy in the eye and pretend like I'm planning
on being here for over an hour.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're just lying to yourself and to him.
You would owe him an apology as well.
So I'm sorry to everyone.
Is there any questions from the press conference or are we done here?
Oh, everyone left.
Didn't you see them get up and go?
Okay, sorry.
Thanks, everyone.
What did you love to see this week, Tony Lodge?
I loved to see something that's, I mean, I loved it,
but it's also really sad.
But Sydney Sweeney, who is in White Lotus and also Euphoria,
she got nominated for two Emmys this week.
Incredible.
Which is just amazing.
And there's this video that she put on Instagram
and it's like her calling her mum and telling her
that she got nominated for two Emmys.
And I'm not actually going to play the audio because it is just her being
like, Mum, and then crying, which is so lovely and so special.
I think she took a bit of a, like, they don't live in LA,
and she was like, oh, hey, parents, if you support me for two years,
I'm going to give acting a crack.
And if it doesn't work out, you know, I'll come back.
But I really need this family to get around me and back me.
And they went, yeah, we're with you.
Go for it.
And watching it, I was like, oh, my God, that's so awesome for her.
And obviously I found it really sad because this week,
obviously we had a really big week.
We did have a big week.
And sorry, we're not crying on the podcast.
I'm not crying on the podcast. We did have a big week and sorry we're not crying on the podcast I'm not crying on the podcast
we did have a big week this week and I would have really loved to call my mom
and have her say that to me like that she was really proud um but everybody in the group has
been so supportive and so lovely this week and it's been just so fucking amazing. So my love to see it is that, like, we have this amazing community
that is like family and, yeah, that's been my love to see it this week.
So I've just been really feeling the love and I hate
to make somebody else's Emmy nomination about me.
Well, back to Sydney Sweeney, though.
Yeah, she's fine.
Sydney's listening to the podcast going,
is this my story or not?
What a bitch.
It was a bit Kanye of me, like, I'm going to let you finish, Sydney.
I know your mum was very supportive of you
and she would be so thrilled about how not only, like,
the news this week but just, you know, the daughter she raised.
I have no doubts about that.
Thanks, mate.
I mean, you fucking could have told me you were going there before.
Oh, sorry.
Because I've got the shittest you'll ever see after that.
Are you joking?
Fucking hell, Tony.
As long as you don't turn around and go,
you know what I'll have to see?
My mum being alive.
I mean, how fucking good's that?
Get around Mandy.
Oh, God.
Should I still do my you'll ever see?
Please, no, do it.
Yeah, please do it. Oh, fuck. Should I still do My You Love To See It? Please, no, do it. Yeah, please do it.
Oh, fuck.
Sorry.
I didn't mean to screw you over.
No, it's just that was such a beautiful thing.
We could have ended on that.
And now My You Love To See It is someone.
Okay, My You Love To See It is this guy who is going travelling
for the first time in his life, right?
Yeah.
And you know how when you go through security in the airport
you put your bag on the conveyor belt?
Yeah.
He's never flown before so he doesn't know how to use the machine.
Yeah.
This is my worst love to see it I've ever done.
So, Tony, can you...
So he's about to just walk through the door of the airport
and they're like, oh, sir, in airports...
You can't just do that.
You have to go through the thing.
And he goes, oh, yeah, no problems.
Can you push play and just describe him,
like just describe what you see there?
Okay.
Now they know the story.
So he's carrying like one of those laundry bags.
Yep.
Oh, they've obviously just told him, oh, you can't just walk through.
He's walking back around to, like, the metal detector thing
to put his bag on the conveyor belt.
Is he getting on the conveyor belt?
Well, they said go yesterday.
Oh, my God.
He's going actually through, like, the bag thing.
Oh, my God.
Fuck, he must be so embarrassed.
Oh, my God, this has 265,000 likes.
Has he come out?
And they actually let him go all the way through. Oh, my God, this has 265,000 likes. Has he come out? And they actually let him go all the way through.
Oh, my God.
So they've gone, sir, you've got to put your stuff through the thing.
And he goes, righto.
And he sits on the conveyor belt.
He's like, I'm stuffed.
I'll go through there.
Yeah, so, I mean, too great you love to see it, really.
I mean, yeah.
That's a great you love to see it.
I love to see that. That cheered me back up. to say it. I love to say that.
That cheered me back up.
Yeah, we're back.
We're back.
Thank you so much for listening and supporting us.
Like we said, for the Champion Tapas, there is a Christmas in July stream.
That is Sunday night or Sunday morning, depending on your time zone.
Yep.
We'll chat to you Monday, or as some know it.
Meow day.
All right. Thanks so much for listening and...
Love ya.
Get around Tony in the episode thread and tell her what a yeah bitch is.
Oh, tell us your yeah bitch, not your maybe bitch, your yeah bitch.
I want a yeah bitch.
I want a yeah bitch.
All right, we'll chat to you later on.
We bloody love ya.
See you on Meownday.
Love you, bye.