Toni and Ryan - Who Cut The Cheese?
Episode Date: April 20, 2023What BLEW YOUR MIND but was probably pretty obvious?! Love ya! Toni xoxo [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure yo...u join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Discussion (0)
Welcome to the podcast.
Welcome.
Tony, what were you just singing?
We at the hotel, motel, holiday inn.
And we are going to Arizona.
Oh, do you reckon they've got a hotel or a motel or a holiday inn there?
I reckon they've got all three.
Great, let's ask.
And we're calling Rebecca.
Is Arizona hot?
Is it?
The desert.
Oh.
That was Mexico.
Sorry, I never know. Is it? The desert. Oh. I thought it was Mexico. Sorry.
I never know.
They should call it Arad.
Sorry, Mark.
Hello?
Hey, is that Rebecca?
Oh, my gosh, yes.
Hi, Rebecca.
Oh, my gosh, I can't believe this is real um Rebecca Tony was just asking if Arizona is hot can you confirm or deny oh my god so hot like in Fahrenheit in the summer
the highest I've seen it go is 129 degrees Fahrenheit whoa That's like high 40s, I would have thought. Did you say 129?
Yeah, what's that?
129 Fahrenheit Celsius is 53.
Whoa.
53 degrees.
Holy moly.
Tony, do you do well in the heat, Tony?
No, I'm not great.
I'm an inside girl.
Me either.
Yeah, nah.
I like it being hot outside, but I like being inside,
if you know what I mean.
Yeah, absolutely.
I like enjoying the sun's out, but just from a distance.
But the air con.
Yeah, absolutely.
Well, Rebecca, do you approve both Tony's desired temperatures
and this podcast?
Oh, my gosh, yes, absolutely.
Two in one.
Boom.
Perfect day.
Hi, this is Rebecca from Arizona Arizona and I approve this podcast.
All right, today's a video show,
so you can also watch it on the Spotify app on your smart TV as well as listen.
I don't want to give any spoilers away,
but in the second half of today's episode,
the title is Producer Cam is a fuckhead.
I mean, there's more to it than that,
but that is quite a large part of it, yes. Yeah.
Don't say anything incriminating, Cam,
but does that feel accurate in the cold hard light of day?
Upon reflection, I'm a fuckhead.
All right.
It's good to be self-aware. We will get to that
soon. Alright, but Tony,
imagine this.
Hang on, I'm imagining. You get a fresh new
block of cheese.
Oh, yeah.
Like a Colby or something.
It is a block of vintage
cheddar. Nice. So kind of stock, but it has a bit
of bite to it. Yeah, nice.
It probably smells good when I open it.
I haven't smelled anything in several months.
Oh, because of long COVID, yeah.
All right, well, just imagine that you cut open.
I'm actually feeling really relaxed.
Sorry.
Yeah.
You cut open the block with a knife.
Yeah.
And you smell that vintage cheddar cheese.
Yeah.
All is going beautifully well until your wife rocks up
and tells you you fucking cut the bag open wrong.
Yeah, that brings you back down to the fucking earth, doesn't it?
Cut the bag open wrong?
Press play on this video that I posted in Patreon a few weeks ago.
Easy peel part here and you've just packed it open with a knife.
Could have been so nice.
What's the difference?
I don't know.
That annoys me.
I love how at the end you said, what's the difference?
She said, I don't know.
She doesn't even know what her own argument is.
She doesn't even know what her own argument is.
What I will say is I get that when there is like an easy peel apart or like I will admit that I have cut open like, you know,
like when you get a packet of wraps.
Yes.
And they've got like the Ziploc at the top.
They're too.
They're real fiddly.
I just cut them open.
So what I do with the cheese is I don't cut the bag open
and get the cheese.
When it's still in the block with the plastic over it,
I'll just start slicing it already and then I'll just.
Oh, no, that's stupid.
That's fucking stupid.
Because it saves you a cut.
You can cut the cheese and the bag in one and then you just pull it out. No. I was on your side until
then. Because the thing is that
when you fuck up a bag, you just put it in Tupperware anyway.
So like, it doesn't really
matter if the bag is damaged. Well, I just
then fold the bag under the cheese
and then put it back in. The thing with cheese, though,
is that it does go hard and then
it is fucked. The same with bread. The same with the
wraps, you know, that if you fuck it up then it is like basically rendered
unusable after that.
Renee Melissa in Patreon said,
that fucked me off and it's not even my cheese.
And Mem says, Ryan, you're an animal.
I can't wait to see how parenthood changes you.
I told Tony I bet you'll be wearing a watch,
counting the minutes and maybe using logical systems
for opening cheese and popping pills in the very near future.
Yeah.
I just, oh.
You cutting the cheese from the bag pissed me off more
than the way you opened that.
Because, like, with cheese you need to get, like, a clean slice.
Yeah, it's all clean.
It just goes through the plastic at the same time.
No, no, no, but, but like because cheese is quite hard.
Either it's like softer and you need the knife in it to actually get through it
or it's crumblier that if you did that from the outside of the packet,
wouldn't it just like crumble up and be fucked?
A little bit of crumb but not enough to worry about.
But I guess, yeah, if there's an easy open thing,
why wouldn't you just open it that way?
Well, because they're never that easy.
They call themselves easy.
It doesn't mean it's easy.
Did you even try?
Because you come at me all the time like, oh, Tony, you need to do this.
Oh, you need to do that.
And I go, do you do that?
And you go, nah.
When did I ever try to do it?
Literally just before.
You were like, oh, if you come up with these ideas, I said, do you do that?
You went, no, I don't.
Yeah.
Yep.
That did happen.
But what I'm saying is, did you even try doing the easy pull open?
At one, maybe not with this specific block,
but I would have tried it with previous blocks.
And I don't like, both of us aren't overly patient
when it comes to shit not working the way it should.
Especially when cheese is involved.
There's cheese right there.
Yeah.
Just let me get into it.
Yeah.
See, now you're back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So welcome to another episode of Stuff Your Partner Does That Pisses You Off That Impacts
You In No Way.
That kind of does impact you, though.
Like, Bridget is fair game there, I think.
She can't eat cheese at the moment.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Well, then let the man enjoy his hard shit cheese.
Thank you.
Ross says,
Hi, Ross.
My boyfriend refuses to step off the escalator.
Instead, he just stands there and lets it push him off.
I get so stressed every single time.
I'm stressed he's going to topple over and fall flat on his face,
and he does it in central London when it's super busy.
I mean, it's more just about inconveniencing other people
because if you're just waiting to be slid off the top step.
The person behind you will kind of like catch up a bit.
Yeah, because it's kind of like on an escalator you take the last step off
and you kind of like then start your walk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's annoying.
I think that, again, I think that inconveniences others.
Okay.
We'll put a flag next to Ross's complaint.
Send it back, mate.
It's still a great complaint because that's fucking annoying.
Just fucking step off the thing.
Are your fucking legs broken?
Maybe they are.
If you want to be taken the whole way, then go in the lift.
Don't inconvenience other people with waiting on the escalator
till the very end.
Did you ever get scared of escalators when you were little?
Yeah, I thought I was going to get sucked under.
Yeah.
Because I think it was in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey or something.
They make that joke and my sister was like, that'll happen.
I was like.
I'm surprised how little of my life I've spent stuck in the end
of an escalator because when I was five or six, I assumed that would just be a part of life.
Yeah.
You'd just get regularly stuck, shoelaces in there, bottom of your pants.
So that did happen in Jakarta, remember?
My shoelace got stuck in the escalator and I tripped over.
Yeah, that wasn't great.
My cousin Rowdy tripped and the thing went through his lip.
But I had to peel it off his lip before we got to the top
so he didn't get sucked in.
But he should just learn how to walk around.
He's an idiot.
Sarah.
Are you okay?
Do you need a moment?
Sorry, just the peel the lip off before the thing is, yeah, stressful.
Sarah and her partner often make homemade pizzas together.
So even if you want different types of pizzas, it's kind of cute
because you can stand there and you put the – why are you annoyed already?
No, because I understand that the idea of a homemade pizza,
it just sounds so simple, but it isn't.
It's a fucking pain in the ass.
You just put it in the oven.
It's not that.
It's that you buy a whole packet of ham or a whole packet of whatever.
You get a whole tin of pineapple.
You get a whole thing of pepperoni, whatever.
You never use all of it.
And then there's just like little bits of everything in the fridge for ages.
And then if you go, oh, we've got some of the breads left over, let's use it.
No.
Well, someone, some fuckhead hasn't opened the thing properly.
So half of it's like dark and like dry.
A bit harder.
Yeah.
Or, you know, fucking, do you know what?
So we only recently did a homemade pizza.
And because my PT was like, oh, if you do that and use these bases,
like it's actually pretty good for you.
And I was like, oh, fuck it.
What a nice treat like over the weekend or whatever.
these bases like it's actually pretty good for you.
And I was like, oh, fuck it.
What a nice treat like over the weekend or whatever.
And Torbs bought a tin of pineapple and they're like quite small tins and it's like the chunks.
And we both like pineapple on our pizza.
This isn't the debate that this is about.
So if people are like, ew, pineapple on your pizza, grow up.
They'll come for you.
I know, and that's fine, but grow up, it's a different argument.
The thing is here is that he got some of the pineapple out that he wanted.
I used the amount that I wanted.
And then he put Glad Wrap on the tin.
What's wrong with that?
Botulism is what's fucking wrong with that.
What's botulism?
It's like sepsis pretty much,
and you get it from leaving half-opened tins in the fridge.
It, like, happens with dog food.
But that's why he puts the glad wrap on so he doesn't get sepsis.
No, it's the tin.
The tin gets it.
But you see where he's coming from though, right?
Well, every time it happens, I go, bro, botulism.
And he goes, oh, has it happened yet?
Well, has it?
Well, I haven't been, you know, fucking dead yet,
but it's probably going to happen at one point.
Not necessarily from a botulism, but you get what I'm saying.
The thing is, is that homemade pizzas sound like this fun, easy, breezy,
beautiful cover girl idea, but it's a scam.
It's a pain in the ass.
It costs a fortune.
All the shit gets wasted in the end.
It's a fucking rort.
Sorry.
Is it true that any time except for you and Torbs having a cute little
homemade pizza together thing that you would never step foot
in the kitchen and cook?
No, I've been cooking more recently, but yes.
Because you burn his hand?
Basically, yeah, I don't cook a lot at home.
So maybe you're just taking out the fact that you have to participate
in something in the kitchen out on this specific food item?
No, it's because, like, you buy all the stuff actually,
like, costs a fortune.
It's not like a cheap and easy dinner.
Maybe it's a volume issue.
Like, how much salami are you buying?
So if you buy like a packet of salami or like a log of salami or whatever.
A chorizo stick.
Yeah, whatever.
You never use all of it.
There has never been a chorizo not be finished in my house or salami
because it's fucking delicious.
As if you're not sneaking that off for the sandwich the next day.
But like there's just all these like little bits of stuff that's like not enough for a sandwich or it's. But, like, there's just all these, like, little bits of stuff
that's, like, not enough for a sandwich or it's not enough
for a whatever.
Could.
Or you buy the $2 bag of spinach, there's a little bit of spinach
in the bottom and then it's just, you know, you just don't use it.
Like, it's just a pain in the arse.
Could lobbyists for homemade pizza come at you for,
because you called them a scam.
That sounds like defamation.
That's, like, strong language.
That's not like I'd prefer not to.
That's like straight up you're calling it illegal.
Are you going to stand by that?
Are you going to take on big homemade pizza?
Yep.
Anyway, what's the question about the homemade pizza?
Sarah says we often make homemade pizzas together.
I carefully place all my ingredients on my pizza,
but on his pizza he just
throws the ingredients on willy willy and i fucking hate it there's no even distribution
some slices have two chili some have none some have more cheese some have less he just doesn't
even give a fuck and it drives me insane even though it's his pizza. Yeah. I hate that too. Because how hard is it to just like pop it on like a human?
You just pop it on like a fucking galah.
I just, I also hate that like when you do that and then they go,
oh, can I have a bit of yours?
You go, well, no, you fucked yours up.
Like you actually had the same opportunity.
Everything the same was available to you.
Yeah, but they're not saying I want a bite of yours because it's perfectly
distributed.
They're saying, oh, you might not finish that.
I'm still hungry.
Yeah, but then like.
I've loved mine so much that I want even more.
Well, that's a definite lie.
They haven't loved it.
They're lying to themselves.
Lee.
Hi, Lee. Hi, Lee.
What I like about Lee is there's no, like, pleasantries at the start.
It's just like Lee's fucking ready to light this up.
Good on you, Lee.
He heats his food to the point where it's molten lava,
then breathes like a dragon in pain when it hits his tongue.
Why don't you just not heat it as much?
Why doesn't he just wait a fucking minute for it to cool down?
Every fucking time.
Sounds like someone else is a victim of the burns unit.
Do you know what I fucking hate?
When you're at like a work morning tea or like a kid's birthday party
or something like that, right?
And every single person in that room, say there's 30 people,
say there's 30 party pies, every single fucking person
that picks on her takes a bite and goes, oh, they're hot.
That's just come out of the oven.
They've just been cooked.
Of course they're fucking hot, you fucking idiot.
They've just come out of the oven.
And if someone witnesses someone burn themselves,
do you think the right thing to do would be go, oh, they're obviously hot.
I might give it a minute before I bite into mine.
Or do you reckon they'd just dive straight in and hope
for a different result?
Different result.
Then you take another bite and they go, oh, still pretty hot.
We'll give it another minute.
They go, oh, still hot.
It still just came out of the oven.
The logic is not sound.
So I agree.
Don't heat it up to the point where it's fucked.
Just heat it up like a human.
Give it a minute bursts each time.
Test it a little bit.
So my football team, the Hawthorne Hawks, played the other day.
They got obliterated, didn't they?
It wasn't good.
It'll be every week they'll get obliterated.
But it's still my two hours.
Footy chat from me, though.
Footy chat.
It's still my two hours of the week to just like put the game on.
Oh, you enjoy it regardless.
Yeah, regardless.
Don't really mind.
And I said, oh, hey, Bridge, could you like do some wings?
You know, so I can watch the game and eat some wings.
Sure.
And do you know how long it takes the wings in the oven?
Yeah, it's like 20, 30, 40 minutes for the actual just chicken.
Yeah, but then you've got to go again for 40 minutes,
like crisp up the outside, you change it, it's a whole thing.
So it's like over and out.
And then Bridge comes out and goes, now these are really hot.
Yep.
But the thing is, you've just put wings in front of me.
Yeah, so you get excited.
I'm actually salivating. I can see them. I can smell them. The lead up. But the thing is, you've just put wings in front of me. Yeah, so you get excited.
I'm actually salivating.
I can see them.
I can smell them. The lead up.
The game's on.
The lead up of being like, they've been in the oven all this time
and been so excited.
Yeah.
And she said, there's only like 10 or something.
Yeah.
If there's only 10, don't waste three of them in pain.
Yeah, that's a good point.
But you did anyway.
And I bet you took a bite and you went, oh, they're hot.
And she went, well, they've just come out of the oven.
Direct quote.
Yep.
I know.
I've lived that experience.
Probably with you as well.
She also threw in a, as I just explained.
Yep, but that's the thing. They've just come
out of the oven. I just think that when you
pass. I can see wings in front of me though.
We should just let you burn.
We should just let you burn. Not say anything.
Then when you go, oh well you didn't tell me they were hot.
You go, hmm. I told you last time
it didn't make a fucking difference. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I ate it
anyway.
This has now become flappable Tony and I don't like it.
Let's just do one more.
Mm-hmm.
Jono.
Hi, Jono.
It's not Dr. Jono.
Oh, thank God.
What a dreamboat.
Jono said, my wife's entire pudis.
That's just come out of the oven.
My wife's entire pudis.
What's a pudis?
I've tried to say computer screen.
And I've left the com off.
So I've just gone into pudis screen.
But it sounded like you were saying pubic.
My wife's pubic scene
my wife's entire computer screen does my fucking head in says jono thousands of unread email all
the apps left open thousands of tabs on safari so many things going on on the desktop doubling up
triple up not backed up movie saved in the documents folder, document saved in the music folder.
It doesn't affect me at all, but every time I glance at her computer
while she's working, I want to divorce her.
This is me.
You're married to John, aren't you?
No.
You've got a pooter screen?
Torbs cannot look at or use my computer.
Really?
And because if I go, oh, my computer's running a bit slow,
he goes, when was the last time you turned it off?
Oh, don't fucking.
And I go, when I got it six months ago or the last time I complained
to you and you made me turn it off.
It dims down if I haven't touched it for a while.
Yeah, I just shut the thing.
And if I shut it down, then I have to reopen all my favourite things.
Sign back in, log in.
Who's got time for that?
I said, I'm a businesswoman, pal.
I don't have time to be reopening shit, dude.
How does Torbz have time to have a full-time job
and close his computer down every night?
I've actually got no idea, and I think I should speak to someone
about it at the Better Business Bureau because I can't understand.
And the other day I was like, oh, this website's running a bit slow
and he glanced over and he goes, oh, need to update Chrome.
And then, like, you know, like fucking throws a scarf over his shoulder,
walks out the door.
Like, I was just like.
Since when does he think he's better than us?
Do you fucking work for Chrome?
Big Chrome?
You want me to update my Chrome?
Like, you think it's going to make a difference?
I was like, no, I use this website all the time.
Sometimes it just gets a bit slow.
He goes, probably wouldn't be slow if you updated Chrome.
I'm just going to put it out there, and I don't want you to read into it.
I don't want you to repeat it.
And if the answer's no, I'll never ask again.
Is your boyfriend an arsehole?
No, he's really not.
He's just trying to give me botulism and make me update my crime.
It sounds like he's trying to kill you.
Ever since you got that Audi and done your life insurance,
he's fucking...
Done my life insurance.
He's all off in that.
Tell you what.
Hi, this is Rebecca from Arizona,
and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapions from the Patreon.
Not only champion tapas, but everybody will be scrolling across the bottom at the moment.
If you've seen your name, it will take a little while for you to pop up. Come around.
Because it goes so slowly.
It's like a ticker type parade.
Yeah.
Daniel Q, thank you very much.
Katie O'Connor.
It's not Katie O'Connor.
Katie Connor.
Katie Connor.
Sorry.
Alexa Herrera and Austin Tunis.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Hope you're tuning into us now.
Bibbidi-bibbidi-bib.
Okay. Anyway, so. No, that was into us now. Bibbidi-bibbidi-bib. Okay.
Anyway, so.
No, that was actually quite funny.
That was quite good.
I don't think it's a surprise to anybody, to you, Ryan,
to anyone that listens to this podcast, that I love a fact.
And I.
You be very careful where you tread here.
No, no, no, I'm not treading into fact territory.
Don't worry. I know that I've. I'm not treading into fact territory. Don't worry.
I know that I've got a cease and desist in fact areas.
Tony's Friday fun fact was pitch attempted and vetoed.
The thing.
And then I got one comeback opportunity.
Yep.
I smashed it.
And went out on top.
And I went out on top.
And now I don't need to do it anymore.
Don't risk because you did go out on top.
I'd hate for you to throw in a shit fact.
Yeah, you'd hate for me to come back in on the bottom.
I remind you it's a video show and everyone saw that wink and tongue poke.
Sorry about that.
I'd hate for you to come in with a shit fact and, like, not finish on top.
Yeah, okay.
I always finish on top.
Here we go.
You know that song that's like,
She only comes when she's on top.
No, no.
Oh, you think you're so pretty.
It's by the band called James.
It's called Laid.
Anyway, no, this is not fact area.
Fact.
But I love a fact.
Yep.
The other thing that I love is a life hack.
I, too, love a life hack i too love a life hack i love a life hack people say it's buzz
feeds 2008 energy but i'm still here for it in 2023 make me a time machine and take me back
because i'll send me back right yeah so good the other thing that is like a really big thing on
like tiktok and whatever is you know that tiktok audio and it like, what is the life hack that you once saw that is now an unconscious standard practice in your life?
You know that audio?
And then it's always followed by like a really great hack or like what did you not know?
Like what blew your mind?
Yep.
I saw this online the other day and it is like the right and wrong way to do something that we all do every day.
Are we doing it the right way or the wrong way?
Well, I'd like to ask you.
I'm just sending you a photo of this,
and I reckon you'll have an immediate reaction.
I've just texted it to you.
Can you describe what you're seeing?
I'm at the store.
I noticed.
Oh, the divider.
Yep.
So like when you're going through the conveyor belt thing,
you put all your groceries on there. And you use the little divider. Yep. So like when you're going through the conveyor belt thing, you put all your groceries on there.
And you use the little divider to separate.
Because if you're in front of me in the line,
where does your stuff end and my stuff start?
Exactly.
I'm not paying for your toilet paper.
So we put the little.
So the divider is supposed to go long ways.
So what do you do?
I go that way.
So you go like all your stuff and then you put it like?
Like thin.
Wait, so there's not, there'd probably only be five centimetres
between your stuff and my stuff and then four centimetres of the thing.
You put it like the width of the thing.
I was trying to describe horizontal and vertical on an audio form.
Yeah.
It is very difficult.
Yeah.
So it's like if there's all your stuff, you put that at the end like this,
like a line in the sand. Yeah, a line in the sand is the perfect description. And then people put their stuff right after it, right. Yeah. So it's like if there's all your stuff, you put that at the end like this, like a line in the sand.
Yeah, a line in the sand is the perfect description.
And then people put their stuff right after it, right?
Yeah.
And then it says here that the right way to do it is to put all your stuff in
and then put the divider long ways,
as in like pointing towards the back of the conveyor belt,
creating like the width of the thing long ways back that way.
So your food can socially distance from the other person's food.
Yeah.
I didn't know I would never have done it that way.
No.
So the caption is, I'm at the store tonight and notice some of you
don't know how to use the divider.
You need to put it long ways to trip the sensor and keep a distance.
Some of you all use it as a privacy fence.
I always use it as a privacy fence.
That's what I've always done.
What a trip sensor.
And so, huh?
Trip sensor.
To trip like the sensor in the conveyor belt thing.
Oh.
So I, right.
So I saw this online and then literally that night I went to Coles
and I was like, well, I'm obviously fucking doing it wrong.
I'll do it the right way.
I'll try it out.
Did it feel right?
I went through the, so at my Coles, there's like a self-checkout with the conveyor belt on them.
Yeah, they hate checkout people at that Coles.
Oh, yeah.
Do you want to go to the self-serve or the other one, which is also kind of self-serve?
Do you want to go to a self-serve or a self-serve?
And you go, oh, well, could someone check me out?
And they go, well, no.
No, we don't do that.
Unless you're buying ciggies, you have to self-checkout yourself.
So you're right, though.
There's the self-serve convey about one.
So what a great opportunity.
Yeah, to try it because you can kind of do like a full shop
and not talk to anyone and pack your bags at your own pace, whatever.
I put all my stuff on.
I put the thing long ways.
And the guy who was like attending the self-checkout came along, wiped the bench,
like moved some of the candy bars and the thing
and turned my divider around.
Excuse me?
Right.
Who the fuck does he think he is?
Don't touch my divider, son.
Anyway.
Have you not seen the meme I saw on a Facebook group last night?
Yeah, and then I'm like, oh, well, sorry, I've actually just seen it.
Yeah, show him the thing.
And he works it.
He should know.
Yeah, well.
Don't touch my divider. So I was like, maybe, like He should know. Yeah, well. Don't touch my divider.
So I was like, maybe.
You mean pull your leg?
Don't touch my divider.
Do you mean pull your leg?
What?
He's just like, he's pulling your stuff.
You want me to pull his shoe and put it around the other way?
Where did that come from?
I don't know why he thinks he can fund all your goods.
Well, yeah.
So he literally just picked it up, turned it around, and then there wasn't even anyone behind me.
It's aggressive.
It's not as if it was busy and he was like, oh,
we need to get people through or whatever.
But it still wouldn't make it any fun.
Yeah, anyway.
Right.
So I just saw this hack, this right and wrong thing,
and it just like kind of fucked me up.
That's surprising.
I was trying to – classic, thank you.
I was trying to figure out like what I should tell you about this story
because I was like I think it's a really good story
but I don't really know how to bring it up.
I was talking to producer Cam and I told him all about it and he was kind of like happily
like smiling along and like laughing at my story or whatever.
And I was like, yes, I just don't really know how to say it.
He's like, Tony, it's like not a very good story.
And I was like, I was like, oh, what do you mean?
And he was like, trip the censor.
It doesn't really matter because like like, the people that work there,
like the checkout chicks, they've got, like, a foot pedal.
Yeah.
And they roll the thing along.
Yeah.
No, they don't.
What?
What?
What?
Yeah.
They don't.
It's a sensor at the end.
No, they have a foot pedal.
Foot pedal.
No, they don't.
Because when you said, when I was reading this,
because that's sometimes when it trips the sensor,
I don't know what sensor you're talking about.
So you just can't steal stuff?
No, no, no, no.
Is the sensor like on Kyle and Jackie O,
if they say something wrong, the sensor will beep it?
So at the end of the conveyor belt,
so your stuff is travelling towards the scanner.
At the end of there, there's a sensor and if it doesn't shut up,
and let me explain it, and if it doesn't get interrupted,
it keeps rolling.
But then as soon as that, because you notice when all your stuff
gets to the top, it stops.
Yeah, because they take their foot off the pedal.
They took their foot off the pedal.
No, because the sensor is interrupted and it goes, I need to stop now.
So how does it know when to start again?
So then as soon as that connection is remade.
They put their foot back down.
No.
When that connection's remade, then it starts rolling again
until it gets interrupted by another thing.
Does that mean if there's nothing on it, it will just keep rolling forever?
No, so it kind of gets to a point where it will stop and then you just put your hand
in front of it to break it again and then it rolls down.
I used to be a checkout chick.
I thought you worked in the deli.
No, I worked in the checkout at IGA.
Done both.
But yeah, it's a sensor.
So you're telling me no foot pedals.
No.
That sounds like a lie.
So then how do they move the belt?
What do you mean?
Well, if there's no foot pedal, then how does the belt move?
The sensor stops it and starts it.
I don't know who the sensor.
I don't know.
That can't be right.
There's been roller things since before sensors were invented.
Yeah, well, so it might have been used to be a foot pedal,
but it's not that now.
Oh, so it's like this mod-con new thing that they're trying.
Well, it's not new.
I mean, I worked at an IGA when I was 14, so I'm 29.
So, you know, 15 years ago.
I don't like this.
It's a sensor.
I feel like, no, I don't like this.
I didn't know this.
I don't know that you were like, Cam's a fuckhead.
I don't think he is.
I think you guys are all in your own fancy way.
It was actually a 50-50 chance whether you would agree with me
or you would agree with Cam.
Well, it's not about who I agree with.
It's about what is.
Sorry, whether you would know or whether you wouldn't.
It's a censor.
So I ran it through like a very quick survey of all the guys here at work.
What did they say?
And they were all like, yeah, it's a censor.
What the fuck?
Nah, they didn't know.
Cam was there when that happened and they all went yeah it's
like a sense of the thing like breaks the thing so that's why when that's how it like that's how
it catches up this is how they must have felt when someone first invented velcro okay so the thing is
the thing is is that like is. Is this not the thing?
The question was going to be what blew your mind
but was actually pretty obvious.
And so obviously I've told you guys this, right?
This is for both the two of you, Ryan and Cam.
This is a prank.
No.
This is a stitch up.
No, we don't do that.
I know.
That's why I am.
The thing is, is that now I'm telling you this, are you like, do you get it?
Or are you just like, I don't think that's right?
I don't think that's right.
No, I'm not saying I don't believe you.
I just can't believe it.
So, like, you know when you go through those self-checkouts with the conveyor belt?
Yeah.
So that lady there. Who's pressing the button if you're doing those self-checkouts with the conveyor belt? Yeah. So that lady there.
Who's pressing the button if you're doing a self-checkout
on the conveyor belt?
Oh, I've never been to a self-conveyor belt.
Maybe that's why I can't comprehend this.
I went through a lady at the checkout this morning to get some oats
and she was there and I assume she was peddling my stuff down.
No.
It's not as if they, like, look around the thing to hit the button.
It just does it itself.
The world we live in.
Well, not.
It's a modern-day miracle.
It's innovation.
It's the same as when you walk up to an automatic door
and it opens up.
How do you think that works?
You think of someone with a button somewhere?
Next you're going to tell me that there's not a little guy
in the fridge that turns the light on.
But, like,
what are you, I just don't, I am actually dumbfounded that you guys
are so fucking stupid, to be honest.
What is
not to understand?
And how would you think that it was a person
doing it?
Because it's so simple. Yeah, that's obviously
that they use the foot pedal. Because every
time you'd go to shop, the girl would turn around
and as she turns around to look at your groceries,
the conveyor belt would start to move.
So that's like a natural reaction.
It's because they fucking wave their hand to get it going.
I just don't want to believe it.
That's thrown me.
Do you know what's crazy?
That's probably going to ruin my weekend.
You know what is crazy?
I have to go to a supermarket immediately.
Isn't it going to be embarrassing if everybody starts commenting
on this episode thread and they go,
Tony, it is a foot pedal.
Well, brace yourself.
Because I'm feeling really stressed that neither of you knew that,
but that's what it is though.
If I'm going to go on a cruise this weekend,
I reckon I'll find a bunch of foot pedals.
I'm going Coles, I'm going Woolies, I'm going IGA, I'm going Audi.
Is it a double?
Huh?
Is it two at once, sensor and foot pedal?
I just don't think.
Can we trust lasers, sensors?
Like what happens if they go wrong?
What?
Like then like.
Automatic doors?
Literally everything is like all the sensors in your car that tell you you have a self-driving car no all the sensors in your car that tell you like if
you're too close you know when your car starts beeping when you're reversing or whatever yeah
then you put your foot down on the brake your foot down on a pedal no no but it's the sensors
being interrupted that tell you how close you are to stuff. Yeah, but then you still have to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So the sensor's like, yep, there's cornflakes, and they go, cool, boop.
Well, yeah, because it's like.
Yeah, put them on the pedal.
Well, no.
Cam, are you Googling this right now?
I'm not disagreeing.
Like, I'm not.
No, what's coming up, Cam?
You look very sheepish, so I think I might be right.
The sensor. It's a sensor. I don't like it. What's coming up, Cam? You look very sheepish, so I think I might be right. The censor.
It's a censor.
I don't like it.
I'd like for you to both apologise to me for making me question
my good morals and values.
Well, don't ask that because you threat accusing us of gaslighting
is gaslighting us.
No, no, no.
Double jeopardy.
Like I said, I'm not calling you a liar or saying you're wrong.
It's just hard for me to because I've witnessed this every second day
for 30 years and now you're telling me.
I just don't know how you would not consider that that's obviously
what it was.
But to make you guys feel a little bit better,
I have an example of my own.
Please.
You know the movie The Prestige?
One of your favourite movies.
Favourite movies, yeah.
So basically the whole thing of The Prestige is that.
Are we going to spoil it?
No.
It's been out for a while.
Oh, is it actually a spoiler?
No, I think it's fair game.
It's been out, fair game.
It's fair game.
What year did it come out?
20 years.
Oh, wow.
It was like 2005.
20 years?
Oh, okay.
Fuck off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Christopher Nolan, my boy.
So when I was watching his movie for the first time, like last year, I was watching it.
And you know the first time that Hugh Jackman's character meets the guy that looks like Hugh
Jackman?
Yeah.
I said to Torbs, fuck, how did they find someone that looks that much like Hugh Jackman?
Okay, this is not a spoiler.
So basically he's a magician in the 80s and they're doing this thing
called The Transported Man where it's like,
how did he get from there to there so quick?
So they find a body double.
A lookalike.
Which is Hugh Jackman playing the role of a guy who looks like Hugh Jackman
and what you thought it was genuinely a different actor.
Have you noticed they're never in a scene together?
In the same shot?
The thing is, is that...
Well, they can do that on movies now.
Have you seen The Parent Trap?
That came out way before.
I'm also pretty impressed they found, now this is a spoiler,
a guy who looks really similar to Christian Bale to play Fallon.
Yeah.
Who's Fallon?
Are you joking?
Is that also in that movie?
I don't remember it really.
So you know Christian Bale's double?
In that movie?
Yeah.
Who plays that guy?
Well, I'm guessing it's Christian Bale.
But so I was like, oh, my.
And then Torbs looked at me and went.
Yeah, judgmental Torbs.
Back at it again.
It's him.
Both him.
Yeah.
Just like the same when my sister-in-law watched the movie Martian,
the Matt Damon movie.
At the end she said, wow, is that based on a true story?
And he's like growing the potatoes on Mars and stuff,
which is not based on a true story.
I didn't know and I didn't want this to be all about movies,
but I didn't realise, I thought The Martian and Matt Damon
in Interstellar was like the same guy.
Same, I thought that too.
For a very long time.
I thought it was like, oh, my God, only smart people get it.
And they go, you know The Martian?
I'm like, yeah, that scene in Interstellar.
It's actually a separate thing.
And they're like, no, it's actually Matt Damon.
I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's a part of Interstellar.
Yeah, no, it's not.
They're not the same thing.
Well, I mean, because that one's based on a true story.
Both of them fucking hell.
So in our Facebook group today, in the thread for today's episode,
we are going to say what blew your mind but was actually pretty obvious.
Now, we have not created good examples today
because it's still not obvious to us.
Yeah, we're really going through it at the moment.
So we'll keep our You Love To See It's quick because I think we should all go home.
I've got a very sweet video.
I've actually just texted it to you.
Deb Munger posted this in our You Love To See It thread,
but I've been sent it a lot of times.
It's a very fucking sweet video.
Wait, fix that down there.
Oh, where?
Ah!
Ah!
Ah! Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Wait, fix that down there.
Oh, weird.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
If Torbs one day, evil mean judgmental Torbs,
He's copped it today, yeah.
proposes to you,
do you think you'll go, ah, ah, oh, or do you think you'll squeal
like you're being robbed in the park?
So lots of people sent me this video and it didn't really add up at first
and I was like, oh, that's a really funny video.
I get it.
So in the video, the girl kind of, her girlfriend is taking a video of her and says, oh, just clean that up or tidy that up or just move to the side a bit.
And what we assume is her boyfriend is there with a ring to propose.
Sorry, because it's a video show today, I keep forgetting that some people can't see what I'm seeing because I'm a fucking idiot.
So we'll get Franco to put that video in the thing, but for anybody that's not watching.
Yeah, please.
Sorry, I just realized that we didn't set it up at all.
So I kept getting sent this video and I was like,
yeah, it's like a really fun...
And it made me piss myself laughing.
It's so funny.
And I was like, that's really funny.
And then I realised what people were getting at.
Why were they sending it to you?
Well, I think that that's exactly what you just said.
I think people were getting at like, oh, this would be you
if someone was...
Wait, fix that down there.
Oh, wait.
Okay, I can't.
I actually can't.
I haven't thought about how I would
react. You'll be a squealer.
You've got squealer written all over you.
But yeah, I just thought that video
was really wholesome and sweet because you can can tell she's, like, really excited.
Maybe she's been waiting for it for a while.
Well, what I do like is there's a lot of, you know,
when you propose at, like, the Eiffel Tower or, like,
on the top of that beautiful hill.
Great.
But it's like they know.
Yeah.
Oh, we're going to the Eiffel Tower.
You've walked them all the way up there.
Yeah.
Oh, I wonder.
Oh, we're just going to be quite, oh, my friend with the photo,
photo of her, the camera over there.
Yeah.
And then they go, oh, my God, what a surprise.
Yeah.
Oh, I got my nails done yesterday.
Yeah.
But she's genuinely surprised.
Yeah, like she's actually really shocked.
I think it's so fun.
My Love to See It is a recommendation.
And this is a risky recommendation.
But it's on Netflix.
It's a movie called I Care A Lot.
Yeah.
And it's by Rosamund Pike and it's got Peter Dinglage in it as well.
Oh, yep.
It's like a drama.
But, you know, maybe similar to Succession,
it's sort of a comedy because it's that fucked.
Sure.
Like it's sort of taken the piss out of itself.
And it's like a bit of a con job, which, you know,
it's like right up my alley and there's some bad guys
and some mafia in there.
But basically, like, do you know Rosamund Pike?
Yeah.
Incredible.
She's incredible.
And if you just like got a random afternoon or a night
and you want something a bit quirky and a bit fun.
It's a movie or a series?
It's a movie.
Oh, okay.
Over and done within 80, 90 minutes, Tony.
Thank you.
Keeps it moving.
Keeps it moving.
But basically she is like a legal guardian.
So like say if you're so unwell you can't take care of yourself.
Oh, yeah.
You get like a point to the legal guardian.
Yeah.
But I think she's got like a doctor on the side.
And so she like finds rich people and goes,
hey, doctor, can you just say they're mentally unwell? And the signs and then she goes oh i'm in charge of you now i'll take care of
that jewelry for you so she's like doing con jobs on these people and it's like what a bitch yeah
and then like it's in the old people's home and she looks so sweet and lovely and she's taking
care of these people but she's swindling them and then peter dinklage comes along and all
as she met her match.
Oh, my God.
You should have written the trailer.
I did.
Yeah.
My new job is that.
I write trailers now.
But I think maybe because I didn't know much,
and even though I've just told you all about it,
like expectations were just like, oh, it's a bit random, chuck it on.
You know what I mean?
You don't have that big hype.
I think they're the best movies when you go, oh, maybe someone mentioned it or we just
pop it on or whatever.
So if you say, I don't care.
Oh, sorry.
I care a lot.
Because of course, she's like, I just care a lot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If that just pops up on your Netflix, give it a whirl.
Give it a whirl.
Yeah.
I like that.
And there's lots of twists.
Don't say that.
Well, I'm not saying what the twist is.
No, don't.
He dies.
No, he doesn't.
I mean, who does he? Oh, who knows? Don't say there are twists. Because then you watch the the twist is. No, don't. He dies. No, he doesn't. I mean, does he?
Oh, who knows?
Don't say there are twists.
Because then you watch the whole movie and you go, oh, what's the, oh, is that the twist?
Okay, let me rephrase.
You know how some movies.
It's too late.
You've already said there's heaps of twists.
No, but you know how in some movies in the first three minutes you're like, oh, I can
probably guess the entire plot.
Yeah.
You will not.
No, but that's what is it.
That's the good thing about watching a movie,
that you go, oh, they're going to end up together,
and then all of a sudden, like, that's not what happened.
That's, like, exciting to find out.
So how should I say it?
No, just don't.
Just say it's a good movie, you should watch it.
Don't say there are twists.
No, when I said twists, it was like with a question like,
twists?
You'll know.
Watch it with a KFC twister.
Yeah, and then you'll know if there is or isn't twists.
No, no.
You know what's a good movie?
Twister with Helen Hunt.
She is great in that.
Very underrated role.
Oh, it was obviously a joke on the plane when it's a twister.
It is a bit of a twist, though, when it's her husband that comes, isn't it?
That is a twist.
Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
Spoilers.
Oh, it came out fucking in 1950 or something.
1950.
I watched that at the cinema with my mum.
Fuck, 1940.
Sorry.
And I was scared in the cinema.
You would be scared.
When that cow gets flung in the air.
Spoilers.
The twist of the cow goes.
I'm pretty sure that's on the poster.
That cow's the main character.
Main character.
Is that what I love to see?
It is.
Moon character.
We will chat to you on Monday.
Moon day.
All right.
Sorry.
Love you.
Bye. alright sorry love you bye