Toni and Ryan - Who made it weird?
Episode Date: February 2, 2022Shockingly, the Thursday ep got weird! Hehe we chat about Inglorious Basterds and open up the Dunn Lodge-isitics Travel Agency. Love ya! T xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make... sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello?
Hello, Laura.
I was wondering if you want to approve the Tony and Ryan podcast.
Hi.
I'm sorry.
He startled me with your call.
I was sleeping.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
What time is it there?
1.40 a.m.
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
That's okay.
Have I called at the wrong time?
No, no, no, no.
It was planned.
I actually had an alarm set and everything, but it still startled me.
I'm five minutes early.
My sincerest apologies.
No.
Hey, it's Laura from Belgium and I approve this podcast.
Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.
My name is Ryan John.
I'm the vice captain of this ship.
I'm the butter to Tony's bread. Tony Lodge,
welcome to... Oh, should I put your microphone up?
Oh, yeah. Oh, hello. There you go.
Fucking captain of the ship, alright.
Today, Inglourious Bastards.
Fucking hell.
It's a long movie, isn't it? It's so long.
You don't have a long intention
span. Can I talk? What has happened to me?
You don't have a long attention span.
No, I don't.
It's just because I just don't want to sit there for two and a half hours
and think about the same thing,
and you just have to really concentrate in a long movie as well.
It's fucking...
Should we do, like, is a category like short movies?
Yes.
Like this week, a movie that is...
That is not longer than 80 minutes.
Yeah, great.
Okay.
I think maybe it has to be over 80 to be considered a feature or like some technicality.
So there's a lot that are like 81 or like 80 in 28 seconds or something.
Well, my algorithm knows me so well that there's actually a category on my Netflix.
I've never seen it on anybody else's that is called 90 minute movies.
Really?
Yeah.
Like I fucking shit you not.
That is a category that comes up for me.
If anyone else has this category, put it in the episode, Trey.
Validate me. Because I'm convinced that they've just literally,
the CEO of Netflix is like, jeez, Tony Lodge,
we're going to have to create a new category just for her
because she is awful.
And because I get to 95 minutes and then I pause it
and I never go back to it.
Well, they know the data on that.
They know, like, how long you watch for.
They know. You get to 89 minutes and you're like, no. the data on that. They know how long you watch for. They know.
You get to 89 minutes and you're like, no, no thank you.
Except every time they pump their prices up, I'm like,
it's worth it because they're learning how I watch
and I appreciate that effort.
They're getting to know me and I'm getting to know them.
That's nice.
It's a beautiful relationship between the two of us.
In the meantime, Tony and I have started a new agency
where we give towns new slogans.
We have.
And I asked on the TARPA Facebook group about awkward town names.
I've just thought about what our agency name would be called.
What?
Dunn Logistics.
Why?
Ryan John Dunn.
Yeah.
Lodge Istics.
Oh, that is good.
Dunn Logistics.
That's fucking sexy.
Let's start a business and call it that.
Well, I think.
We don't have a business.
I think, well, we would never have a business.
That's not who we are.
We don't have a business.
The example you just gave is proof that we're good at this.
Oh, I mean, fucking.
You just proved it.
Gold star already.
Thank you very much.
I'm so primed.
Isn't that really good though?
That is great. I've just. I'm so primed. Isn't that really good though? That is great.
I've just...
Logistics.
Done logistics.
Done logistics.
Even just logistics on its own is pretty good.
Oh, yeah, it is pretty good.
Maybe I'll keep it for myself.
Yeah.
Okay.
See you.
First town name.
This is in Pennsylvania.
And can I just say, I didn't know a lot about Pennsylvania.
All I know about Pennsylvania is that that is where the offices are set. So of the hundreds of town names that all are pretty funny, I reckon
80 of them were from Pennsylvania. Really? Every second town, they're fucked. They're
fucked over there. And if we do this segment again, I tell you right now, Pennsylvania
will always be heavily involved. But the first town name is Virginville.
Tony, logistics.
Virginville, where you go all the way there
for no one to go all the way with you.
Oh, I was really proud of that.
It feels pretty good.
Yeah.
It's no logistics.
It's no logistics. Yeah, I've set the bar high. It feels pretty good. Yeah. It's no logistics. It's no logistics.
Yeah, I've set the bar high.
Yeah, it's too bad.
Virginville.
Once you leave, you can never go back.
I like that.
Virginville, right next to Qantasville.
Now, a little bit of background.
In Australia, there is an airline called Virgin
and an airline called Qantas, so it's a bit of a play on that.
Is Virgin international?
Yeah.
Oh, great.
Virginville.
Your girlfriend's family is pretty religious,
so you better get comfortable here, mate,
because you're going to be here a while.
I just don't know how you could live there and be like,
oh, where are you from?
Oh, I grew up in Virginville.
Like, it sounds like a lie.
Yeah, you've just made that up, mate.
Yeah, like, it sounds like a burn on your friends.
Oh, you live in Virginville.
Ooh, everything's in Virginville, mate.
Yeah, oh, I haven't had sex with your girlfriend. Oh, what's it like being in virginville everything's in virginville mate yeah oh i haven't had sex with your girlfriend
or what's it like being in virginville like uh the next town is in victoria about two hours away
from where we record this podcast in melbourne it's called titty bong titty bong i feel like
the joke is already there there's almost no jokes that you can make about titty bong victoria can i
just add um i looked it up and there was a review on like,
you know, the travel review.
Someone said, I drove from Frankston, it's about a three-hour drive,
just for a stupid joke that I was going to take a photo
with the sign at Tittybong.
Turns out there's no sign and just four blocks of land.
Zero out of ten would recommend.
Oh.
That's the first review on the thing that comes up.
But even if they had a sign ever, they would just get people doing that,
going down and be like, ha-ha, Tittybong.
They would take it down.
It'd be like Schitt's Creek.
Well, it gets stolen the minute it got put up,
so they just have clearly stopped bothering.
All right.
Tittybong, the recreation centre of Victoria.
That's a fun place to hang out for the afternoon.
Thank you, yeah.
Titty bong.
For when you want to get high but using a Gatorade bottle
isn't as fun anymore.
It's the jokes in the name.
You can't, like, there's nothing.
I literally couldn't.
I came up with one.
Like, I don't have anything else.
Well, let's then instead go to Denmark, where, and this is a real name.
It's called Karensklit.
Klit spelt K-L-I-T.
It's a small Danish town.
It's called Karensklit.
It sounds like a fucking joke.
It clearly is a joke, but it's a real, real town.
Can I just say something about Denmark?
You know how, like, Denmark was in the news a lot in Australia because...
Because of Princess Mary.
Because of Princess Mary is from, of course...
Tasmania.
I thought she was from Denmark.
The town in Western Australia?
In Western Australia.
Well, you are a fucking idiot.
Yeah.
And so when everyone was like, oh, the princess of Denmark or fucking whatever, I was like,
well, they've got a fucking monarchy down in Denmark.
So how many people in Denmark?
3,000?
The town of Denmark in Western Australia is tiny.
And why is this always in the news?
Yeah, I know.
It's just like fucking hell.
And it's just down the road.
Like, you know, it's five hours from Perth or something.
I'm like, fucking hell, there's a lot going on down there.
Can I say, though?
Yes.
A beautiful part of the world.
Oh, gorgeous.
Wait, which one?
The Western Australian one.
Gorgeous.
Gorgeous.
I'm sure the European Denmark is also.
But I wouldn't know.
I wouldn't know about that.
You've never been over there?
Never been to Karen's Clit.
Oh.
You want to go first?
Karen's Clit. Oh. You want to go first? Karen's Clit.
Enjoy a peaceful community because no man has ever been there.
They can't fucking find it.
Similar vein in my one here.
I mean, there's really only one stab at this, isn't there?
Karen's Clit.
Hard to find on a map, apparently.
Karen's clit.
A beautiful hood.
Like Neighbourhood.
Yeah, yeah.
Pull me hood back.
Show me Karen's clit.
Shit.
It's raining.
Put your hood on.
Oh, God, the weather.
It's always wet in Karen's clit.
Rain, hail or shine.
Karen's clit.
You'll probably never find her, but if you do and don't treat her right,
she'll definitely call the manager.
Karen's clit.
No, no, no, not there.
No, a bit hot.
Why are you rubbing it on my leg?
Oh, don't worry, I'll finish myself.
Karen's clit.
You know what you think it is?
Yeah, it's three centimetres up.
He's Laura from Belgium and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
Thank you very much for listening to our podcast.
We really appreciate it.
You're welcome.
Oh, not me.
No, more.
Thank you for turning up today.
Okay.
I might last one.
No, I'm not going to be that guy. I had literally, I literally had COVID.
Yeah.
And that sounds like a lie because it's just like so far out there.
Like, I had COVID.
I have suffered from a worldwide pandemic.
How do you?
I did.
It is actually great to have you back.
Thank you.
Everyone loves having you back.
Aw.
And just a shout out to everyone.
Well, not everyone.
Oh, sorry.
Different thing.
Sorry.
I was ready to fucking talk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Shout out to everyone.
Thank you. Yep. I hate Valentine's Day. Yeah. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, shout out to everyone. Thank you.
Yep.
I hate Valentine's Day.
Oh.
But if you're into it, it's like a week and a half away,
so start thinking about it now.
Because you know how it's always the day before and you're like,
oh, fuck.
I just think it's so.
It's bullshit.
It's not for me.
It's not for me.
I don't think that I've ever even or actually when I was in high school,
I just moved to a new high school and obviously I was a new fat kid
so that's not cool.
It was year 10.
That's hard work.
Girls are hot.
I wasn't, you know.
Why are you looking at your phone?
What's wrong?
I was going to check something about Valentine's Day but you go.
What?
It's on the 14th.
Anyway, and like this dickhead boy gave me a note and like a flower and it was like, oh, hello, you go. Anyway, and, like, this dickhead boy gave me a note and, like, a flower
and it was like, oh, hello, Tony, like, I've been looking at you from afar.
I really like you or something.
And it was just, like, real fucking dumb.
But I had a boyfriend, so I was just, you know.
Don't give me this, oh, I was the new ugly chick when you had a boyfriend.
No, well, I had a boyfriend, but, like, all the new girls at the school
were, you know, hot and sporty.
But anyway, yeah, so that's,'s like Valentine's Day from an early age.
One time in Perth, Chicken Treat, which is like a KFC or Red Rooster
or whatever.
Chicken Treat is absolutely fucked.
It is so good.
It's so fucking good.
Except the one in Bunbury that put caustic soda on the chips that one time.
Okay, well, I mean, accident time.
Every other time.
Well, it wasn't an accident.
It was deliberate.
They're in jail now.
Do you remember Sizzler?
Yeah, all you can eat.
The dessert bar.
Yeah, oh, so fucking good.
They're like the one in Perth for, you know, a period.
People wouldn't go there because someone jizzed in the gravy.
I mean, that's a pretty good reason not to go there.
And then at one point there was also rat poison on the salad bar
so people didn't go for it.
I mean, it's all closed down now.
Debunked.
Debunked.
Chicken tree.
Defunct.
Debunked is like a myth.
Yeah, you've debunked a myth.
Defunct.
Defunct.
Oh, defunct, not defunct.
Like closed down.
Defunct.
No longer existing or functioning.
Thank you so much.
Is Chicken Treat still around?
Chicken Treat's still around.
Chicken Street.
Fuck, this podcast is awful.
This is the worst episode of the week.
I just said fucking defunct for 20 minutes.
Yeah, it was a great story.
Chicken Treat.
Still exists. Is still a thing. And on Valentine's Day, it was a great story. Chicken Treat. Still exists.
Is still a thing.
And on Valentine's Day, this story I've been trying to get out since Tuesday.
Oh, love this, huh?
They do bouquets of chicken on Valentine's Day.
Do they?
And that is something I can get around.
Well, they have in previous years.
I hope they do it this year.
I was going to say, I've never seen that before.
And I'm from WA and I've been, I grew up with chicken treat.
What's Torbenstein been giving you on Valentine's Day?
I don't know.
Something else on a stick.
Different kind of bone.
You're telling me.
Who are we thanking?
Sorry, I put down the piece of paper because earlier I thought we were going to do it.
Anyway, Madeline Carmichael.
Tell me more about why you put your piece of paper on the table.
It sounds like a great story.
Oh, get fucked.
Why am I being a dickhead? No, I'm being a dickhead. I mean, you deserve it. I the table. It sounds like a great story. Oh, get fucked. Why am I being a...
No, I'm being a dickhead.
I mean, you deserve it.
I do, because I made you a fucking idiot.
Guys, we've lost the plot.
It's been a busy week.
I put the piece of paper down.
Oh, you actually weren't genuinely asking.
You're actually going to tell this story, eh?
Come on.
Oh, no, I was joking, mate.
I'm already bored.
I'm embarrassed.
Should we start this episode again?
Okay.
Madeline Carmichael.
What else is boring?
Madeline Carmichael, thank you so much.
Caitlin Mara, Ryan Nielsen and Gabrielle Taylor,
thank you so much for supporting us at our Patreon.
Love you.
This week.
This week.
This week at the movies.
Is that all right?
Yeah.
We asked what war movie should we watch, which sounds grim,
but I think can we all agree that like epic cinema?
I mean, they're fucking long.
Yeah.
They are long.
Wars are long and difficult.
Sorry if that's an inconvenience to you sitting on your couch
in your air-conditioned lounge room in your nice apartment.
It's fucking long and fucking difficult to watch.
So...
That sounded so privileged.
I sound like the biggest jerk.
You're very important.
What I mean is that there's just always so much going on
and whilst I like a movie with staff going on,
I'm actually going to just stop.
Keep going, you.
We need to take a break.
Do you want to start a movie?
No, no, no, no, no.
So the most popular.
So the reason I put my paper down.
The most popular war movie, according to the Tarpers,
because they vote on which one we're going to watch,
was Inglourious Bastards.
And can I maybe raise a question?
Is it really a war movie?
Like obviously it's set during the war, but is it really a war movie?
It talks about the killing of Hitler and ending a war.
No, I know.
If that's a clue to the answer to your question.
I just think that when I pitch a war movie,
I think more like Pearl Harbor where it's like them in the war,
whereas this is kind of like a little story of something.
I'm just saying that it could be argued that this is maybe
not the biggest war movie of like the war movies that exist.
So Hitler, fictional character?
No, mate.
The killing of Hitler didn't end a war?
Mate, I'm saying.
It is a bit of a comedy, like a dark comedy weird spoof.
Yeah, because it's like obviously like a.
It's a Tarantino movie.
That's what he does.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But what I'm saying is of all the war, like when you think about war movies,
Inglourious Basterds, as I was watching it, I was like,
oh, this is probably like the least war-y war movie.
Like compared to something.
Do they actually do the scalp thing?
I don't know.
Is that what scalps mean?
When you actually take their scalp?
When you're scalped, yeah.
It's pretty horrific, isn't it?
It's fucked.
Did you also have a moment where, because you know in that era,
like people are just subscribed, like your number gets pulled out
of a hat by the government and you're off to war?
Yeah.
Could you imagine that happening now?
And I don't want to be the people that jokes about the Gen Z
and millennials, but someone's like, Ryan, you have to go to war.
I'd just be like, nah.
No, thank you.
Oh, you have to be here this day.
Oh, no, I'm not going to do that.
Yeah, I've got work that day.
Yeah, I'm busy.
I could maybe come at like five.
Yeah, I've signed up to do the eight-week F45 challenge
and that comes at week five.
Yeah, I've already paid for it.
It's prepaid, so I couldn't do that.
I just cannot even imagine
being in a situation where I was
called up or Torbs was.
Like all of a sudden it's just like, oh, your
husband or your boyfriend or your girlfriend or whatever,
your partner is off to war.
You have to go and fight some people. Like you've got no
say in it and you just have to sit at home
with your fucking thumb up your ass
and wait for them to come back and hope
that they're alive.
It's pretty fucking crazy.
Like.
It's pretty fucking crazy.
Yeah.
I forgot about how many cameos were in it.
Like when Mike Myers is in the movie, I was like,
I totally forgot about this.
And then Michael Fassbender, like I remember that character but I didn't realise he was that guy.
Sure.
And then every second person, you're like, oh, who's that?
Except Mike Myers.
BJ Novak from The Office is in it.
Oh, yeah. I mean, BJ Novak, don't you reckon that in real life he is not nice? person you're like oh who's that except mike myers bj novak from the office is in it oh yeah i mean
bj novak don't you reckon that in real life he is not nice he looks like a not nice guy which is so
mean because there's no reason but i totally agree with that i just get the vibe from him that he's
really dry and just like not very friendly is that because all his characters have that have
that vibe yeah that like maybe he's just a good actor the opposite opposite, they're like, oh, Tony, she seems fun.
You're like, yeah, that's because you only see her on the clips.
In person, she's awful.
Yeah, no, that would make me a good actor because I seem really nice,
but I'm actually a bitch.
Whenever I see Mike Myers, though, I always just think this is going
to be funny and seeing him in that, I'm like waiting for the punchline
and then I'm like, oh, you're actually just like playing a general
but it's not.
So that scene, because Mike Myers' accent is,
I was pissing myself laughing but I'm like,
I don't think he's doing this to be funny.
No, he sounds like Austin Powers though.
Yeah, exactly.
And then Michael Fassbender who's like got the thick German
and I was like, how are they keeping a straight face
because they're having this really serious war conversation
but they're speaking in the most ridiculous accents.
I know.
Oh, jolly good chap, pour yourself a scotch, son.
Yes, the bar is in the globe.
Like, so random.
Yeah, and there's these massive rooms that are just empty
and it feels so weird.
But how funny is it when, like, Von Klimpelbomp or whatever,
the actress, she has the cast and it's like cast into a high heel.
Like she shows her leg and I was just like, what are you doing?
What are you talking about?
So I got, this is like, I don't know if this is a weird thing
to be thinking about.
Yeah.
The girl who runs the cinema.
Yes.
Madame Emmanuel, but her name's Shoshana.
Can we agree that she is beautiful?
Fucking stunning.
I was talking, we have not discussed this off air.
Yeah.
But Torbs and I had the exact same conversation last night.
I was like, fuck, she is just gorgeous.
She's one of those people that like just has that thing,
that je ne sais quoi.
So she's French in the movie, right?
Like a French Jewish.
Yes.
Yeah.
So I was trying to get my head around this without sounding
like a creepy guy.
What is it about like French girls, and I hate to just like categorise
a whole country or whatever, but it's something that's very like natural,
not overdone,
understated.
Like, I couldn't put my finger on it, but she was that.
Because now, oh, I sound so old.
Nowadays, you know, like in the Instagram age where everyone's,
like, revealing clothes and, like, don't roll your eyes at me, mate.
Do you know?
You sound like such a fuckwit. I know.
I don't want to sound like a fuckwit.
We do.
Women can wear whatever they want.
Oh, fuck you.
I'm not saying that at all.
Well, that's what it sounds like.
I feel like in an age where there's, like, lots of things going on,
the people who can just look very normal, minimal makeup,
classic clothing, not overly revealing, they can still look stunning.
It's like a French thing.
overly revealing that can still look stunning.
It's like a French thing.
I'm not going to rescue you because I don't even know where you're going.
What do you want me to say?
That I, like, in the mood. Why is it that French ladies have a certain look about them that is just
classically beautiful and it looks so different
to everywhere else in the world, even though, like,
we're the same race and stuff?
I have a question.
Why do they look so different?
Do you think it's just French people that you've seen on TV?
Yes.
Yeah, see, everyone's beautiful on TV.
It's like how every single person thinks that everyone in Australia
must look like Chris Hemsworth.
We don't.
Would you agree, though, as I get my shovel and try to dig some sort of.
Yeah, I've given you a bit of a rope there.
Yeah, and I'm going to try my best.
Yeah.
That if we were to line up people from Europe, the USA, Australia,
just by their, like, style and the way they conduct themselves,
you'd be like, oh, that's the French one.
Oh, I think you could definitely say that person is European
because they're just always more relaxed.
So in one scene she's sitting in a cafe by herself,
reading a book, smoking a cigarette, drinking a coffee,
having a red wine and eating a pastry.
And then if you list those things and don't mention French lady,
you're like, well, this is the most unhealthy person you've ever met.
Yeah, but then she's glowy and wearing an overcoat and a little hat
and you go, oh, fucking hell.
See?
You do understand what I'm saying.
Fuck you for throwing me under the bus before.
I understand what you're saying.
I think it's just funny when people say, oh, well, these days,
girls just wear so much makeup and wear revealing clothes. Like, well, these days, girls just wear so much make-up and wear revealing clothes.
Like, well, people can wear whatever they want.
They can.
I'm not disagreeing with that.
But I think watching that movie, it's like they are painting
that perfect, like, understated girl next door, like, low-key,
like, under-the-radar kind of person, which she is.
Like, she lives her life.
She's quite private.
She's just beautiful, but she's getting by.
Can we do spoilers?
Enough time has passed.
Oh, it came out in fucking 1942.
I highly doubt that.
I'm pretty sure the war was still on then.
She didn't have to die.
No.
Just should.
Like he was clearly still alive.
He was going to come back alive and like just finish the job and walk out of the room.
Or she could have just died in the fire.
Like, he didn't have to shoot, like...
Yeah.
She should have been able to die, like, at her own hand.
Because obviously her partner dies.
Well, I also, like, couldn't he have dropped the thing
and then just gone out the door?
Yeah.
And then it ends with those two walking down the street
with the fire behind them and, like, they're the heroes and they get married and have the out the door? Yeah. And then it ends with those two walking down the street with the fire behind them and,
like, they're the heroes and they get married and have the hottest children ever.
Yeah.
But do you think it's more like...
It's cinematic and poetic.
They gave up their lives to end the war.
I guess so.
Yeah.
Like, and the sacrifice that they've made to...
I really like that she wins. Yes. Like, and the sacrifice that they've made to her.
I really like that she wins.
Like, it's not very common that, like, the underdog wins, you know,
all that stuff. Well, everything you said before, going about her everyday life,
a commoner, if you will, and she brings down the whole German Empire.
Yeah, like, well, she was the enemy of the state because she was Jewish.
So, like, you know, imagine that. But then she fucking, she wins and it's, like, well, she was the enemy of the state, because she was Jewish. So, like, you know, imagine that.
But then she fucking, she wins, and it's just
like, I'm not gonna
say a feel-good movie.
That war movie where everyone dies
and suffers horrific pain? Oh, such a feel-good movie.
Just really amps you up on a dark
day, doesn't it? You know when movies come out and they go,
oh, feel-good of the season.
When Inglourious Basterds came out.
The feel-good movie of the summer. Inglourious Basterds came out. The feel good movie of the summer.
Inglourious Basterds came out.
They're like, oh, wow, this will perk you right up.
And I feel like it goes without saying,
but how much is Christopher Waltz just like the greatest actor ever?
When they're eating, because he's Lander, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
When they're eating the pastry and they both have a cigarette
and it fucking...
You're hot for her, aren't you?
You'd take her to a bathroom.
There's just something about the scene of them, like, you know,
the cat and mouse thing where it's kind of like, does he know
or doesn't he because he orders her the milk and it's like, oh.
When he orders the milk, I nearly die.
Same.
And Torbz reckons that he doesn't know that it's just a coincidence.
I'm like, no, that's them telling us that he knows that it's her.
But the whole, I feel like his whole character is he knows everything
and he's just fucking with you the whole time.
Yeah.
But watching that scene of that, yeah, cat and mouse,
like back and forth between the two of them, it's fucking sexy.
And then she has a cigarette, he's smoking,
and he's got the espresso, like fucking hell.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Have you, I feel like whilst I don't disagree,
that lady has really got you.
I think she's stunning and I thought it last night
but also it's just like, I mean, it's not like a movie
that gets you hot because, I mean,
Though Bright Pit looks fucking sexy in that movie.
Because it sounds like it is a movie that gets you hot.
Yeah, well, I mean, it has been a byproduct of getting me hot,
but it's not.
I don't think that's what they meant the movie to do.
It's a great film.
It is, actually.
It is long, but it's good.
And if you're listening from France, I think you're hot.
Fuck what Tony says.
Please don't cancel, Ryan.
This podcast can't just be Tony and
it can't be. I mean, it
probably could. Do you though?
Yeah. You'll be alright. I need
you. I needed you when I had COVID. You did.
But now that you're healthy, you can go fuck yourself. Yeah, I can't
get COVID again. That might
be fake news. Don't. Yeah, don't.
Sorry. Misinformation. Yeah.
You know, when you say anything online at the moment,
it's like COVID-19 resources available here,
like on the bottom of everything.
That came up on one of ours once.
What?
We told a joke about COVID and then on the video,
it was like, for more information on COVID.
And I was like, you have come to the wrong place.
You're not learning anything here.
Hey, I saw... I love puppies.
I love beautiful adoption stories.
And so one really got me.
This dog had to have its front leg amputated.
And so it only had three legs, right?
And they found him and he'd been harassed.
It's a real underdog.
Sorry, what was that?
I said it sounds like he was a real underdog.
Now, I'm not the arbiter, arbitre, the decider of who and who does not get cancelled.
Yeah.
But after I complimented stunning French girls and your bagging out disabled dogs,
I reckon if I were to place a bet, you're gone.
Complimenting stunning women.
Every white man thinks it's a compliment.
Smile more.
You'd look beautiful if you smiled more.
That's you right now.
That's what you sound like.
That is not me.
Yes, the beautiful puppy, yeah.
He needed to be adopted by a new family and someone who could really understand.
And look after him.
Probably needs a bit of extra care and stuff.
A war veteran who also lost his leg in Afghanistan adopted him
and they both didn't have a leg so they could empathise with each other
of what they're going through.
I'll send you the video.
I'll put it in the group.
It's like it'll do you in.
See, I actually don't think I could watch it.
I think I'm just going to cry.
I cried.
Oh, bless.
They found each other.
They did found each other.
Go on, what have you got to say?
Go on, mate, make it good.
Last minute and a half of the week of podcast.
My You'll Have To See It is a post from a radio station
called The Edge in New Zealand.
Love The Edge.
They post the funniest stuff, like follow them.
It's fucking hilarious.
And the status was,
I'm far more embarrassed about my calculator history
than I ever will be about my browser history.
We've all done it and gone two plus two.
That's definitely four, right?
On average, yes.
And you just do it quickly just to make sure.
I did that the other day in my accounting class and it was like,
oh, so how would you go about adding that up?
And the guy's like, you just add them together.
Oh, my God.
And I was like, oh, yeah, of course, 100 and 100 is $200.
Yep, gotcha, yep.
Oh, that would be me.
I would be the person asking that question.
Thank you.
You'd love to see that.
Yeah.
Not as beautiful as your story, obviously.
What's happened?
What?
I feel like there's been a shift on today's episode.
Has there?
What's wrong?
I don't know.
I feel like we've lost it.
Oh, no.
And by it, I mean our sanity.
What should we do?
Make out?
Do you think this wasn't good, this episode?
No.
Just saying it was loose.
Oh, too loose?
Was it because you got weird about the girls?
I think you made it weird about the girls.
You made it weird about the girls.
You like to control how women look and dress?
Is that why?
If I have to stop this fucking song again.
Yeah.
look and dress?
Is that why? If I have to stop this fucking song again.
Is it because you like to control how women look and dress?
Is that what you're saying?
No.
And you know that's not the case.
I know that that's not.
Is this the thing that we joke about?
No, it's not, actually.
We don't fuck around with that.
We are feminists.
We are.
We are. So don't. Fem are feminists. We are. We are.
So don't.
Femmeownists.
All right, let's get out of here.
Hey, if you can like or follow or subscribe, whatever the button is.
Don't fucking ask him after this episode.
You know what?
You do you.
Don't worry about it.
We'll ask next week.
We'll chat to you next week.
We'll chat to you next week.
Oh, may the wind blow wherever you may go and may you smile with the strength of the sun.
Meow.
Oh, sorry, I thought you wanted me to say something beautiful.
I didn't.