Toni and Ryan - Who's our favourite magician?
Episode Date: September 11, 2024I can't believe I didn't know our FAVOURITE MAGICIAN!!! Toni xoxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @toni...lodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, best-selling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge.
And we are calling Caitlin, who is on the Gold Coast.
Cocktails and dreams.
Is that still a nightclub there?
I've never been to the Gold Coast.
Oh my God, fuck, that was so fast. I've gotten a fresh.
I'm on it. I'm on it.
Do you know why that was fast? The time difference.
Time difference, same time zone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Caitlin, I just found out some horrible news from Tony Lodge
who claims she's never been to the Gold Coast.
No, I've been to Brisbane, but that's not the same thing.
Oh, you little bitch.
Oh, you little bitch.
Oh, my God.
Caitlin.
Caitlin, how would you describe the Gold Coast to Tony
and other people that haven't been there before?
Oh, that's a wonderful question.
It's like.
Colourful.
Yeah, colourful is a great word.
There's lots of different people from different walks of life.
Yeah.
But just also like lots going on, you know.
Yeah.
I imagine it's quite quiet during the day and maybe a bit busier
at night time.
Is that right?
Yeah, that's perfect.
That's a great way to describe it.
So I'm the only person that's never been there and I'm bloody doing postcards fucking WA
over here.
Yeah, there you go.
Now, Caitlin, can you tell Tony what you're studying?
And I believe you actually need some help from Tony.
So can you explain that for us?
Tony, I'm studying medicine.
So I was just hoping to get some advice from you because I look up to you
because you're already a doctor.
Already a doctor.
I've already been through it.
And you know what?
I understand what you're going through.
As someone who's been through that process, wow, it's tough.
And going into the third year exams.
Oh, third year.
What do you learn in the third year exams?
I think I've still got my exams that I can send you, Caitlin,
if you need to do some prep work.
Exams are an activity.
That would actually be great if you could send your notes through.
That would be good.
Oh, no, it's my mistake.
Thank you very much.
What do you learn in the third year, Tony?
I don't want to be rude, but I don't think you'd understand.
As two women of the cloth, I don't think you'd get it,
so we'll just keep it between us, Caitlin.
We'll take this offline.
We'll talk about it later.
Caitlin, will you approve this podcast?
I would absolutely love to.
Hi, it's Dr Caitlin from the Gold Coast and I approve this podcast.
All right, Thursday means normal or nah.
And Nick has sent one in.
And I've said this many a time before.
Many a time.
Sometimes you can tell by the way they've worded the question that there's a bit of fucking sting and a bit of venom in the back end
and they're just like, they're fucking barred up, ready to roll.
Yes.
So I'm just going to read what Nick said verbatim
and then we can discuss.
Okay.
But thank you to everyone who submits their normal and ahs,
TonyandRyan.com.au or in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group.
Send them on through.
I fucking love Thursdays.
I love it too.
I love normal or nah.
Nick Rozo.
Normal or fucking nah?
Oh, Nick.
After cracking an egg, do you put the shells straight into the waste
or do you put the broken empty shells back into the carton
like my psychopath fucking girlfriend does?
So Nick and I have been going steady for a while.
I do that.
Define steady because he sounds like he's ready to.
Unsteady.
Pun not intended.
He is ready to crack.
Yeah.
Yes.
The definition of unsteady.
I do this.
I fucking hate myself, but I do this.
Do you crack?
Oh, where am I going to put it?
If only there was a thing in the perfect shape.
Perfect shape.
That's sitting right there on the bench ready to go.
You know when you put them on the bench, though,
and they, like, roll around, they've got a mind of their own.
They're crazy.
They're crazy.
If only there was a place to keep them.
So I pop them in the thing and then normally at the end
of the egg cracking nonsense.
Yeah.
Known as cooking.
Known as cooking.
Then I will repopulate either the bin or our little compost bowl or whatever.
But you know how eggs come in like a nice recyclable cardboard kind of thing?
You can probably put that with the eggshells just as a whole straight
into the garden waste.
I think you probably could because it's just cardboard.
Oh, but I put it back and then I have to deal with it later.
Then move it over.
That's what you kind of can get away with not dealing with it later
because you just put them back in and when it's empty you just.
The only thing is is that it would start to smell.
If you had open egg shells in the fridge, like if you pop them back in there
and then you still had eggs remaining, you wouldn't want
to put those in the fridge.
I reckon they would get a bit stinky, wouldn't they?
Between me, Bridget, Mabel who loves eggs and Bron
who doesn't hate an egg on his food because it's good
for his coat apparently, eggs don't like,
the carton will be gone by tomorrow night anyway.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I guess it just depends.
And I will eat lots of eggs just to get through it and to back this point in.
Yeah.
Because I like eggs too, but between the two of us, Torbs and I,
we wouldn't finish a carton off on a weekend or anything.
No way.
What do you guys do on a weekend?
But if we were having eggs for breakfast, we would have, say, two each.
That's four eggs.
And then even if we did that two days in a row, that's only eight eggs.
What are you having for lunch?
And they come in at 12.
What are you having for lunch?
How many egg frittatas are you not having on a Sunday afternoon?
Do you know what's fucking-
Also, when you do scramble, three each.
Grow up.
Oh, I'm talking like if you-
Yeah, that's it.
Grow up.
No, no, no.
I'm talking cracking an egg into some chili oil and then popping that on a bagel with
cream cheese.
That's a bit of me.
I stand corrected.
Yeah.
Can we order that right now?
I don't know if you could order that, but I could make that for us.
I'm ordering it.
I don't know if you could order it.
Tony, I'll have.
Sorry.
Tony's Uber Eats server.
So, yeah, like we'd probably, we'd go through eight eggs,
but that's, you know, not.'d probably, we'd go through eight eggs,
but that's, you know, not, and actually, you know,
it's really good value.
Like the family pack, which is a carton and a half.
So then you get 18 eggs.
And then when you, like, fuck, you're not going to go through 18 eggs. Yeah, you go there for a week.
Also, Nico has included a photo.
I'm like, I know what it's like.
Oh, yeah.
But doesn't that just add a bit of passive aggressiveness to the question?
And I'm like, no, I get it. See, the evidence. I get it. Evidence. That's good. Oh, yeah. But doesn't that just add a bit of passive aggressiveness to the question? And I'm like, no, I get it.
See, the evidence.
I get it.
Evidence.
That's good.
Thanks.
So, Nick, I know you came here for support, but.
Yeah, I think it's fine.
Yeah.
Don't take that on, Nick.
Listen to me.
I'm so chill.
Don't take that on.
I think we've really cracked the case.
So, if you don't encourage it.
Nick sounds like he's a real shell of a human but he just wanted to ask he was just chickening it out
don't want to put a real cock in the hen house with that
that's what i call the hippity dippity cock in the hen house
a bridge mables asleep should put the cock in the hen house. A bridge mable's asleep. She put the cock in the hen house.
I take that back.
I take that back.
You can't.
What'd you call me?
You can't take that back.
Because when I said, I'm a naughty girl, and I said, I'd like to take that back, you didn't let me.
That was like a year ago.
And I haven't let it go.
Mirth.
Hi, Mirth. Does anyone else? Gold, frankincense, and mirth hi mirth
does anyone else
gold frankincense and mirth
so religious joke
this is about the length of a mirth
oh I think it's getting a bit mirthy
mirthy territory
when Tony uses the last bananas and make muffins,
she's the mother Murph.
Does anyone find themselves mid-conversation becoming really aware
that you've just been staring at one specific eye of the other person the whole
time and then just getting really uncomfortable and wondering if the other person notices
that one eye has been getting all the attention.
And even now we're looking at each other and we're just so aware of where I'm looking.
And then you move from one to the other and like, can they tell?
Can they tell?
Yeah.
I'm actually really bad at looking into people's eyes when I talk to them.
I look at their mouth. Oh, well, that makes sense. That's where the noise is coming from. Yeah. I'm actually really bad at looking into people's eyes when I talk to them. I look at their mouth.
Well, that makes sense.
That's where the noise is coming from.
Yeah.
And I, cause I also, I'm like, I'm really concentrating on where I'm looking at you.
Yeah.
I don't like this.
So I look at people's mouth more and it's not in like a weird way.
It's like.
No, that's where the noise is coming from.
Yeah.
And then when someone said to me once, like, I reckon I was probably like 15 or 16 and they're like, oh, you know, when you look in people's eyes and I was like, oh, I thought I was probably like 15 or 16, and they're like,
oh, you know when you look in people's eyes?
And I was like, oh, I thought that was just like something,
like I thought that was a mirth.
I thought they just said that on TV.
What is great is when someone's wearing sunglasses
and you can just look at yourself in the reflection in their eyes
because you get credit for eye contact if you're just checking yourself out.
Yeah, or when you're like talking to someone on Zoom
and you're just like looking at yourself anyway.
Yeah.
But so can you tell which eye people is looking at?
Can you?
Which eye am I looking at?
Well, both of us have been sitting here with our eyes covered for a while.
I just moved my hand.
Oh, am I sitting here doing this by myself?
Yeah.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah.
But, like, so if I look at you in the eye now, which eye am I looking at?
This one.
Yeah.
Okay.
Which one now?
Oh, you're looking dead center.
This one.
No, I was looking at the other one.
I think I've got a bit of a lazy eye though.
So I might be, you know, playing silly buggers.
Sorry.
I just, sorry. sorry i just sorry it took me longer than it should have to like remember what a lazy eye
and i just imagine lazy little bitch yeah no it's just like when you were like um oh we're
gonna have eggs and bagels and i'll don't ask this guy i'll fucking take all day yeah
i'll get to it later my lazy eye yeah uh kim Kimbo Gore has a normal or nah. Hey Kimbo Gore.
Once I say this, it can't be
unsaid. Re-eating the
crumbs that you picked out of your teeth from flossing.
Kimbo says normal for me. It's basically leftovers or as I
like to call it, the last bite.
No, no.
What was your advice to Nick about the egg cracking?
Don't take that on.
Don't take that on.
I can't take this on, I feel.
Yeah.
I think like if you're, as you're eating and you get something stuck in your teeth and then.
You got to flick it out with your tongue.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that's fine.
Yeah.
Once it's left the mouth, it can't go back in.
Yeah.
Except for.
Bagels.
Is that what you meant?
No, I meant a penis.
Oh, yeah.
Hi, it's Caitlin from the Gold Coast and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.
Sivan Stern.
Thanks, Sivan.
Troy Sivan. True, Sivan.
Abby Thomas.
Good on you.
MGN.
Jackie.
Danny Atzer.
And Sophie.
Sophie.
Is that you?
No.
Fucking better be.
It's been a while since your names came around, Soph.
Is that you, Sophie?
Maybe.
If it is, I'll think you're a nerd.
And if it isn't, I'll be mad.
There's no way I can answer this.
Yeah, no.
So, Sophie, whichever one it is, no last name.
Thank you very much for being part of our Patreon.
Absolutely love to see it.
I see tomorrow night we're doing a bit of a spooky live stream
for Champion Tapas for Friday 13th.
Oh, is that confirmed, by the way, internal chat?
We have ordered the game.
Okay.
I've just taken it upon myself to choose the theme.
A little bit of off-air chat, though,
that it does say it takes quite some time to play.
This was the shortest version I could find.
How short?
One to two hours.
What the?
I thought it was 20 minutes.
No.
No.
No, but you have to add a bit of like one to two hours
for a normal person.
For us on a live stream, it's like a pretty long,
like probably three or four.
Yeah.
So do you know what I'm saying?
So what we might do is we might just vibe it out.
No.
We just vibe it out. No. We just vibe it out.
No, but imagine going into a murder mystery and then it gets in the movie
and the director of the film just walks on and goes,
oh, we didn't quite get to it.
So, you know, whoever did it, good on them.
Well, if we get sick of it, we'll just open the envelope.
You know what I mean?
I'm pretty sure there's an envelope that says who did it.
So if we get 20 minutes in and we go, fuck this,
we'll just open the envelope and we can all go to bed.
Oh, there's Colonel Mustard with the candlestick in the fucking library.
Yeah.
The other option, live brainstorm, is we could play a game of Cluedo,
which actually sounds pretty fun.
That does sound pretty fun.
Would we play it on PlayStation like you do or play the card game?
No, I think we'd have to do the board game.
Okay.
Yeah.
I still don't get how you guys play it online because you can see
other people's cards.
Nah.
Just keep in mind that. It's you. Yeah. Do you want to take on you guys play it online because you can see other people's cards. Nah. Just keep in mind that.
It's you.
Yeah.
Do you want to take on explaining that to me or do you just want to go,
okay.
I'm going to give you the quick version.
Sure.
The game happens on the big screen.
So that's fine.
The big screen in the sky.
Yeah.
But you have your cards.
Yeah.
And you can take notes and it's on your phone.
On your.
So there's two screens.
So the big screen is kind of showing like the map
and all of the like evidence that you've got so far,
but like you're doing your turn on your phone.
You and Torbs do not live in the same world as Bridget and I live in.
It's crazy, isn't it?
Because more off-air chat.
Tony can like.
This is not.
People aren't going to think this is that wild, Just so you know, like I'm just going to,
I'm going to let you know that it's actually not that crazy.
Like I know that it's huge and it's awesome.
And it is like such a game changer.
Tony can turn the lights on and off in her house from an app.
Crazy shit.
Where do you live?
What year?
Out in the country.
We get stuff sooner than the city does so
the other day we were the guy came in to set the studio up and he put a light bulb in there and
you can like and i videoed him and i was like wait till i show tony this is gonna be crazy and
tony's like we have that at our house well literally yeah yeah i just fuck dude you're
just doing it right we actually are yeah but so that's how the cludo game works
on the thing so i'll get up in the morning and the house will be cold and i'll go oh maybe i
should put the heater on and then i have to me and mabel just spend half an hour like cuddling up
because it's cold nah but you you're in bed going i might get up in half an hour yeah we can't do
that yet for our fire which is a bummermer. We're trying to figure that out. Imagine if it was a real fire that you could start by an app.
Maybe you can.
It's called.
Well, I mean, isn't that just what I've got?
No, like a real fire.
Oh, like a wood fire.
Yeah, you press a button and a guy like a chimney sweep comes in.
It just comes in.
Yeah, it just lights it and gets it cranking.
But I mean, like real fire, quote unquote.
I'm like, like ours fucking pumps.
It's actually.
It's not a question of heat.
It's just like a real fire.
Yeah.
But no mess.
Don't have to pay for wood.
It's fucking pretty good.
Yeah.
I know.
I've been there, mate.
Yeah.
The problem is that you lost weight at your house.
Yeah.
You're sweating all weekend.
It's like a sauna.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Anyway.
So, speaking of the family, if Mabel wants to do my daughter,
if she wants to do like social media and shit when she's older,
like that would be so much fun.
I'd love that for her.
Yeah, because you love editing video.
Love it.
It's not just part of like being the podcast.
You're like, I love the creative side.
I love editing things.
Like you love Photoshop and all that stuff.
Couldn't have think of anything more fun to do with Mabel
when she's older.
However, shit, we don't like pop her face on social media
because I feel like it's her decision to make.
It's not my decision.
Totally.
If she decides she wants to do it, I'll be like, fuck, yeah, this is sick.
I think that's really respectful.
Yeah, so it's sort of like I don't decide for you,
you make your own decisions.
And so that's why very rarely or to never anymore,
I just try to avoid putting her face on the internet
because she can decide if that's for her later. Totally. So, Tony.
And this is a problem that parents are having these days, isn't it?
Like Sophie, our producer Sophie, she's got a son. I was about to say she's got a daughter.
You don't. You have a son. And all of your stuff's on private because you're like, oh no,
I've got like a close friend story that only my family's on and they get to stay
updated, but it's not for everybody.
Because did you know that the rapper 360 follows Sophie on Instagram?
I've heard this.
Isn't that the craziest thing you've ever heard?
Why is that crazy?
Does he follow you?
No, he doesn't.
He only follows cool people.
He only follows cool people.
He likes redheads, apparently.
Is that right?
I don't know.
But yeah, so Sophie goes, so is he just like seeing things about my life?
I was like, I don't know.
Sophie, that sounds like you're –
He's checking how many of your son they like.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's like, cool dude.
But, yeah, so Sophie's got like a private kind of thing for her family that I'm on actually.
Really?
Yeah, I'm on the family close friends.
How many family groups are you in?
Because you're in the McKinley's.
I'm in so many family group chats. You're in the McKinley's. I'm in so many family group chats.
You're in the McKinley's.
My family doesn't even have a group chat.
Oh, they obviously have one about me.
Well, it's not about you.
They just have one that you're not in.
Oh.
Every family's got a group chat.
If you think they don't, you're just not in it.
Yeah, okay.
Then they've got one and I'm not in it.
Obviously talking about what they're going to get me for my birthday.
Now, I've just found this news out. So, I don't know. I'm just going to get me for my birthday now i've just found this news
out so i don't know that i'm just gonna say what i know and then we can fucking dig in and figure
out what the fuck is going on in this planet besides lights with apps yeah which is crazy
tony shares a photo on her stories of her dog pippa and Pippa is just, as it were,
facing the other way.
No, so she's-
Isn't she or she-
No, she's facing the camera but she's like snuggled into a blanket.
I can show you the photo.
Yeah, but you can't see her full face.
No, you can't.
And then-
This is in question.
Okay, so it's a photo of Tony's showing off the beautiful Tarp Tumblr.
Go and buy one from TonyRyan.com.au.
All in Australian dollars, by the way.
Yep.
And the Australian dollar is terrible at the moment,
which means it's cheap as fuck for everyone else around the world.
So please.
It's pretty much half price.
So you post that and someone replies,
is Pippa's face down because you're protecting her privacy?
I said, no hate.
Is that what's happened?
Is that what's happened?
Yeah.
They go, no hate, but, like, do you not show Pippa's face for her privacy?
Yeah.
Is it?
And, like, the thing.
I get it.
I get it too.
I get it too.
And I think it's,'s like a really sweet question.
So like no shade but also like what?
I also show Pippa on social media a lot.
Like I post about her quite a bit.
Quite often, yeah.
So it's like.
If you Google, hang on, if I Google Tony Lodge.
Oh, great question.
Pippa.
Oh, there's a fucking video.
There's photos.
Oh, my God.
There's a picture of her in a lab coat and it says Dr. Pippa.
She's holding a Dr. Pippa cap.
The first link that comes up is a video with 230,000 views of like her full face.
Tony Lodge introduces Pippa.
Here is Dr. Pippa.
Wow, there's actually a lot.
Am I a bad mum, you guys? There's a lot of Pippa. Here is Dr. Pippa. Wow, there's actually a lot. Am I a bad mum, you guys?
There's a lot of Pippa on here.
If you look, the whole first page is just videos and photos.
It's actually my dog, Pippa.
The whole second page is as well.
Oh, my God.
Oh, on the third fucking, the third page.
Third page of Google.
May as well be living in the outback.
The top is Pippa's salmon diet. I've seen that. It's come up on the first page. The third page of Google? May as well be living in the outback.
The top is Pippa's salmon diet.
I've seen that.
It's come up on the first page for me.
Cozzy Lives has hit Pippa's salmon diet.
Whose dog lives in shame like Tony's?
Let's watch.
Pippa just has dry food now.
So she's off her salmon-only diet.
She's still on a salmon-only diet, but she does salmon kibble now. Oh.
Welcome back to the real world, sweetheart.
Times are tough over at the Horsetail.
Must be rough.
Must be rough.
Shit.
Mummy's dad's got a mortgage now.
We can't spend it all.
Oh, that's right.
That's right.
You guys bought a house and stopped buying like fresh salmon straight from the ocean.
You had to start buying it in the dog food store.
Well, now she does get the rehydrated, the human grade one.
That's a different one now.
Anyway.
I don't know if you know this, Tony, but before Tony bought a house.
Tony?
Sophie?
Sophie.
I don't know if you know this, but before Tony bought that house,
they used to drive each day to Apollo Bay and get fresh salmon from the ocean.
Did he catch it like a bear with my bear hands?
Like in the John West ad?
Yes.
Yes.
Exactly like that.
I have those rubber overalls.
It's the salmon that Tony Lodge rejects.
Yeah.
Then why people get the best.
So now this might be an offensive question,
but also like maybe kind of a bit true.
And this is the same for every breed,
but like all French Bulldogs just kind of look like French Bulldogs, right?
Oh, totally. They all kind of look like French Bulldogs right oh totally they all
kind of look the same like like I say another Kelby and I'm like oh it's like run yeah like
and I'm not I'm not I'm actually not offended by that at all like yeah they all look and so
we know you've got a French Bulldog Pippa obviously has like quirks about her that I
could recognize yeah but like if you saw a French Bulldog and most people like what a beautiful pug
and I'm like okay yeah sure yeah so to protect its like if you've saw a French bulldog, and most people are like, what a beautiful pug. And I'm like, okay, I don't care.
Yeah, so to protect its, like, if you've seen a French bulldog,
you've seen Pippa.
Yeah.
If you've seen Pippa, you've seen a French bulldog.
Like, and the only reason that's out in the wild, if you saw Pippa,
the only reason you would know it was Pippa is because she was with me.
Yeah.
Like, you would never go, is that Pippa Lodge?
I saw a French bulldog. Is that someone is that Pippa Lodge? Like, you would never.
I saw a fresh bulldog.
Is that someone's stolen Pippa Lodge?
Oh, my God.
I'm Pappin' Pippa.
You know, like, that's actually just, like, not what you would.
Can you read the wording again?
Oh, hang on.
Okay.
I don't even know if I'll be on fun.
Hang on.
Give me a second.
Like, so we watched. So, myabel she's 15 months she's an idiot
so we watched mustard dogs
have you seen mustard dogs where they train
the kelpies oh it's on the ABC
it's like a reality show
and all these mustard dogs get placed
with like different farmers and they get 12 months to train
them up anyway so Mabel sees a kelpie
on the screen and she's like Ron and I was like
no you fuckhead you can't just be talking to every dog thing that's our dog oh
because i've got yeah do you not show her full face for security reasons no hate just curious
with like a little love heart emoji and like i don't think it's like an unsweet question but i
guess my thinking was a bit like yours.
Like, well, what would that actually mean or do?
I also think, and this is like my description of a Frenchie.
It's not like a fucking slur.
I was like her full face.
I'm like, no, they're all missing like the front of their face.
Because she's got a little scratch.
Yeah.
It's like, oh, is it like kind of like you've edited out the front
no no that's what she was like that's what people ask me like oh are you editing your
face I'm like no that's the whole thing that's really what it's like actually yeah so yeah like
I don't know like I wouldn't ever be like oh this is the vet she goes to or this is the whatever
like because that's so strange and not interesting people won't promote vets forets for free. Yeah. And, you know, she's a working dog.
She's a working dog.
Yeah.
But like.
She doesn't get out of bed for less than 10 grand.
It was just, I think it was just like a really sweet question,
but it did make me go, well, hang on.
Like, what would that actually mean?
And I'm glad that you said, don't they all just look the same?
Because like.
Because they kind of do, right.
I would never, ever look at like.
So someone I really like to follow is Brittany Saunders.
You know, she owns Fate, the label.
Like I'm a huge customer from there.
Like I love everything that she does.
And she's got two sausage dogs.
I would never see a sausage dog and go, oh,
is that Brittany Saunders sausage dog?
Like is that Slinky and Peanut right there in front of me?
Like I would just never ever even make the connection.
Or when I'm reading my book with Mabel and I say
schnitzel von krampf.
Yeah, and you don't go, oh, my God, is that Brittany?
Brittany's dog Peanut is acting in Harry and MacLary.
What a huge break for Brittany's son and dog.
Standing in Harry and MacLary.
Yeah, that is a huge break because that's a very popular book.
It is.
But, yeah, so, no, it's not a privacy thing the same way
that perhaps like you protect Mabel's privacy. Yep. But, you, so no, it's not a privacy thing the same way that perhaps like you protect Mabel's privacy.
But, you know what, maybe I need to think more
about the security of my beautiful girl.
Yeah.
It's like no shade either way,
but I just don't really understand the question.
No, it's no shade.
I understand the – actually, I don't even know what I think anymore.
It's like I don't – but I don't – what would the outcome be
for me not sharing it?
Like, and then so what if someone sees me out for a walk with Pippa
and they go, is this Pippa?
And I go, no.
No, it's another Frenchie.
No.
They go, who's this?
It's Sippa.
Sippa.
It's like the public facing of the Pippa Empire.
Empire.
Remember last week, maybe it was the week before,
where we heard a victim of medical comedy.
They're at a male gynecologist.
They panicked.
They didn't know what to say.
Spoiler alert, you don't need to fucking say anything.
But tried to break the ice, make it a bit less awkward.
He walks in and she goes, ta-da, as her vagina was, you know, on display. Yes.
Harrowing. He didn't laugh. We said, can someone
please use ta-da in an also awesome thing?
So this is my, you'll love to see it. Oh, great. This is from Peyton Newton. Hi, Peyton.
First of all, Peyton, who's a tarpa, expecting a child. Congratulations.
Congratulations, Peyton. So what they, Peyton, who's a tarpa, expecting a child. Congratulations. Oh, congratulations, Peyton.
So what they did was is they've got the photo of the,
what's the x-ray thingy called?
You know, when you're pregnant and you show the.
Mammogram.
Mammogram.
Nope.
Nope, that's definitely not it.
Sonogram.
Ultrasound?
Ultrasound.
Sonogram.
Ultrasound.
That's what it's called, isn't it?
Sonogram.
Yeah.
Thank you.
So instead of saying we'd like to announce we're pregnant,
they posted on the gram, ta-da!
Amazing.
My husband is not a tarper, in brackets, yet,
but he understood the importance of tarp and said,
nope, this can be our ta-da moment.
Surprise, internet, I'm pregnant.
That's amazing. Well, congratulations. Congratulations. And also, what a fucking, be our ta-da moment. Surprise, internet, I'm pregnant. That's amazing.
Well, congratulations.
And also, what a fucking, what a way to tell people.
Yeah.
That's great.
Ta-da.
And that kid will grow up and be like, why is my mum a fuckhead?
And I'll be like, because of the Tony Ryan podcast.
Yeah.
Did they blur the face out on the sonogram just for price? That's funny. That's funny
That is funny
That is officially funny
Officially funny
They've blurred out the car's number plate
On it's car as well
Strange that it's driving a Merc.
Oh, I'm not done yet.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Now, that's a very wholesome, beautiful ta-da.
That's an amazing ta-da.
I think you actually know about this one, Tony.
From Aaron.
Because, yeah, I've also got a ta-da moment.
Aaron said, I hooked up with a guy over the weekend.
I finished on his face and went, ta-da.
So, you know,
just two wholesome stories. Yeah.
Can you read the last bit of the
Aaron story? I don't know if we'll hook up again.
His choice, not mine. One way to go though.
You know? Imagine this guy
is the receiver of the thing.
He's not a tarpa and he's like in some other
podcast group.
I reckon we're going to see a story online
in a few weeks.
I fucked this guy.
This guy jizzed on my face
and said ta-da.
Is he a magician?
Is he in a secret society?
Have I hooked up
with David Copperfield?
And that he did.
That he did.
Who's the other magician
that we love?
Pennantella.
Hardly knowella. No.
Hardly Noah.
No.
Constantino.
He can ta-da anywhere he wants on Tony Lodge.
Oh, what?
He's a bad boy.
He has dark eyes.
He's a bad boy of Magic World.
Did I say this on the pod or did I tell you this?
No, I don't know, but you love Constantino.
No, the reason Constantino came up is because my tattoo artist tattoos.
That's why it came up.
What a claim to fame.
I know.
I was actually chatting to Constantino the other day.
We were going, you know, where do you keep your rabbit?
You know, where do I keep mine?
And he goes, crazy story.
I get my tattoos done at the same place Tony Lodge does.
That podcast.
That's what he's telling everyone.
He's telling everyone.
He would be too.
I do not have.
And then he disappeared.
I love to see it now.
What do you mean?
Because I think we go, that's amazing.
Can we end on that high?
That's unreal.
On Constantino.
Yeah.
Yeah. There's nothing I can say? That's unreal. On Constantino. Yeah. Yeah.
There's nothing I can say.
There's nothing I can say.
Okay, I know we don't normally have guests on the Tony and Ryan podcast.
No.
We are not having Constantino on.
There was a running gag that I was late one day and I rocked up to work
and you guys were sitting here going,
imagine if the reason Ryan was late is that he picked up Michael Jordan
from the airport.
And that you would walk in and Michael Jordan would be with you.
Yeah, and then I walked in by myself and everyone went, oh.
And you were like, what's wrong?
And we were like, oh, we thought that you were bringing,
like because we just like created this scenario.
And you're like, where's Emday?
And I'm like, what?
You're like, oh, sorry, guys.
I was late because like Mabel's not feeling too well.
We're like, oh, we thought you were picking up Michael Jordan
from the airport.
That's a hard thing to explain to someone.
Yeah, and it was and still is.
So if I walked in one day with Constantino.
I don't even think I'd know Constantino if I fucking fell over him.
Are you joking?
I'm about to Google him.
We're very good friends.
First of all, look at the tattoos on your legs and just imagine them on a man.
Are you Googling?
I have, yep.
Isn't he a bad boy of magic?
Yes.
I think that you could well and truly describe him as the bad boy of magic.
If he walked in with me, would you be like, MJ looks different?
No, I'd be like, oh, my God.
Constantino.
Yeah, that's what I would say. I don'tino. Yeah, that's what I would say.
I don't know.
I don't know what I would say.
I'm going to do it.
It's not a prank because we don't do pranks.
Constantino.
It'll be a bad one.
We're also saying Constantino.
I think it's Cosentino.
There's no N.
Is it Cosentino?
We've got to sort this out before he comes in.
Tomorrow on the show, I think a few people are going
to change their plans in life when they hear this story
from a tarpa tomorrow.
We've all been walking around this world going, yep,
here's how I live my life.
Here's what I'm planning for the future.
And I'm going to tell you something and you're going to go, oh,
this changes everything and I think I might be in for this.
Oh, my God.
Guns and Towers coming in tomorrow.
We're all going to become magicians.
That's the life-changing information.
I imagine it's not a scam, but that does sound scammy, doesn't it?
And all you have to do is call right now and you get 20% of cryptocurrency.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, get into my downline and then, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, a legitimate like, oh, this is the line, you'll say.
I didn't realize that was an option for us regular people.
And it's going to the same tattoo artist as Cosmeteena.
You can go there.
You can go there.
Anyone can. See you tomorrow, big dogs. Oh, Tina, you can go there. You can go there. Anyone can.
See you tomorrow, big dogs.
Oh, tomorrow, video show as well.
Video show on YouTube.
Love you, bye.
Go and subscribe.
Love you, bye.
And keep your dog's face off my phone.