Toni and Ryan - Why Australia is better than the USA
Episode Date: August 28, 2022Things Australians get that Americans don't, and we watched MAMMA MIA!!! Love you! Toni x Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan... on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. I'm the butter to Tony's bread. We're calling
Hello
Do you love me?
But you've never heard that joke before ever do you approve this podcast
Hey, this is Kiki from Boston, and I approve this podcast.
Coming up, a wrap and review of Meow-Ma-Meow.
Yes, the movie, the Meowvie, Meow-Ma-Mea.
And can I just say.
You know, Meow or Straight.
With Meow or Straight.
Yeah, and a mewndesire phrase.
I knew it was a musical.
A meowsical.
Sorry, use the correct term.
I knew it was a meowsical, but it's really a meowsical.
There's a lot of meowsic in it.
But because it's all ABBA, I'm like you can't forgive it because at least it's music you know. There's a lot of meowsic in it. But because it's all ABBA, I'm like, you can't forgive it
because at least it's music you know.
There's a lot of music.
There is a lot of music.
It was just like, I know I'm watching a musical,
but like I'm really watching a musical.
Yeah, like how do you know someone's a vegan?
Like they'll fucking let you know.
They'll let you know.
Yeah.
I know you're a musical.
I get it.
Yeah.
I get it.
There's a few ABBA songs like we know ABBA exists.
Yeah.
Okay.
Anyway, Toni will be wrapping her thoughts there.
It only occurred to me that we're doing meowvies because we like to meow,
but we're both allergic to cats.
Yep.
How funny is that?
I love it that when people are like, oh, my God, Tony, you must love cats.
No.
I can like them from afar.
I don't like them.
There's a cat from my next-door neighbour, John,
who lives in my backyard a lot of the time,
and I can appreciate her with the door shut.
Yeah, but not without a has-man suit in person.
Yes, has-cat.
A has-cat suit.
Things Australians understand that Americans do not.
It turns out Australia is very different to the US.
We often assume here in Australia we're kind of the same.
We speak the same language.
We watch the TV shows.
Yeah.
Do you ever feel like, and I always thought this as I was growing up
because I was always jealous because you learn so much
about like how the American school system works
and the things that they do and they call nappies diapers
and things like that.
And I always felt so left out.
I was like, why am I American?
Really?
It's so much cooler there.
Yeah.
Do you still feel like that?
I know you haven't been to Hollywood, but have you ever been to America?
No, I haven't.
So next year when we go to Paige's wedding.
It'll be my first time.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, a USA version.
Yeah.
But I always, yeah, so growing up I was always like, oh,
there's so much further ahead and there's so much stuff
and like obviously the social issues now.
Yeah, not as ahead as.
But I know a bit more of that.
But I feel like still I'm like, oh, well, Americans, they just get it.
They just get it.
They're just cooler than us.
Well, I'm going to ask you if you still think that in about six minutes.
Okay, great.
Because what you're about to hear.
Oh, it's long for you.
Will.
It takes me five and a half to get the belt off.
Australians do things that people in the USA do not.
Tony, chant what comes next, all right?
Here in Australia, we're finishing up Happy Birthday.
Happy birthday, dear someone.
Happy birthday to you. Hip, hip, hooray. Hip Happy birthday, dear someone. Happy birthday to you.
Hip hip, hooray.
Hip hip, hooray.
They don't do that.
What?
They don't do the hip hip hooray.
So they don't have fun there.
No, they don't have fun there.
This lady named Emma, she was visiting friends in the US.
Yeah, as an Australian.
As an Australian, goes to the US., assumes this is like a global thing,
and it's like her friend's friend, you know,
heaps of people she doesn't know, and she's the random foreigner,
and they all sing happy birthday.
Then she's like, hip, hip, and everyone's like.
And the commitment to the hip-hip is big anyway.
Yeah, especially if you don't know them.
That's usually reserved for a best friend.
Yeah, or a dad. Yeah. Someone's dad is normally the hip. That's usually reserved for a best friend. Yeah. Or a dad.
Yeah.
Someone's dad is normally the hip-hipper.
Are you a hip-hipper?
No, I get anxious.
I would love to be, but I'm scared that if I hip-hipped out of line,
that it'd be a bit forward.
Oh, because you don't want to start saying it when somebody else has said it
because what a party faux pas.
Yeah.
A social crime.
But apparently it's only a crime in Australia because other countries
don't hip-hip.
Oh, wow.
Oh, my God.
I can't imagine not hip hippieing.
Neither.
Because then you go, hooray.
It's an incomplete song.
You'll click.
You'll click.
You'll clap.
It's a joke without a punchline.
Yeah.
It's a putting it in without a finishing.
Without the hip hip, it's just singing a stupid fucking song.
Some would argue it's just a stupid fucking song anyway.
But you're right. It is just a stupid fucking song. I'm's just a stupid fucking song anyway but you're
right it is just a stupid fucking song i'm a hip-hipper yeah yeah you would be it's like alpha
dog energy don't you think it's like the ultimate i think that's why i'm scared i don't want to be
that i don't want people to go oh who's this alpha dog thing he fucking reckon mate yeah but you
already know you're an alpha dog yeah it, it's the biggest flex, I reckon.
Not only are you the muscles of this podcast,
you're the butter to my bread, you are the alpha dog
and official hippie part of this podcast.
I'll put that on my LinkedIn.
That way if this podcast ever goes down to shit,
I can apply for jobs.
Muscles, official hippie part.
People will be like, oh, my God, when can you start?
We need someone new in the workplace.
We're looking for someone with audio skills, this,
and we actually don't have an alpha dog to do the hip hips
for a staff birthday.
John just left.
Tony, could you?
Yeah, I could.
Check out our LinkedIn.
Can someone let us know which countries hip hip and which do not?
If you don't know what the fuck we're talking about, guess what?
You're in a not hip-hip country.
And that's not hip-hip.
No, that's the opposite of hip.
Things Australians understand but Americans do not.
With all the smart tech people in Silicon Valley,
Americans still haven't discovered kettles,
which blows my tiny mind.
This is insanity to me.
It is.
I cannot believe that Americans don't use kettles or jugs or mugs
or whatever you call it wherever you're from.
So in the rest of the world, you put water in an electric jug
and you just push a button and it boils it in a minute.
There's no pot.
There's no light and fires.
No, and I think the other thing that they do in America is like put a mug of water in the
microwave.
No.
Because I was watching, you know that TV show on Netflix selling Sunset?
Yeah.
So they're all rich as fuck, right?
And they've got these like beautiful big dope houses.
Christine Quinn, who was recently on an episode of Call Her Daddy.
Great.
Yeah.
She's awesome.
Like she's the villain of the piece, but she's really rich.
Her boyfriend, her husband is like fucking owns a tech company.
Yeah.
And she got her fucking Gucci mug, filled it up with water,
and then put it in a fucking microwave.
I thought you can't buy class.
You can't buy class.
It's true what they say.
It's true what they say.
And that's coming from Tony Lodge.
Yeah.
She had a freezer in the, a deep freezer in the garage.
It really sends British people when they see Americans making a cup of tea like that because
British people are like very particular about their tea and rightly so.
Yeah.
It's an important part of the day.
And if I'm going through a tea phase, I'll drink like eight cups of tea in a day.
Absolutely.
And so we actually, we have one of those, it's got like a keep warm function.
Yeah.
So it's just fucking sitting there all day.
Could you imagine?
How much is a Gucci mug?
I don't know.
Stupid amounts.
Oh my God.
Surely it'd be like $400.
They've got what I'm going to assume is a $1,000 microwave.
Yep.
But they can't buy a $12 jug?
Yep.
I'll send them one.
I'll send them.
At Kmart, they're like $4.
And you can get fucking nice ones that can match the decor
and you can get a Smeg one that matches your fancy toaster
and your fancy oven.
They actually released a range of Smeg crossed with Dolce and Gabbana.
Maybe that would be right up Christine Quinn's alley.
We should ask her.
You've got a blue tick on Instagram.
Could you message her?
I will.
Message her and be like, hey, Christine, love your work.
Could we send you a kettle doll?
Also, your husband runs a tech company.
Could he invent kettles for the people of America?
Maybe they just need their own people to invent it and then they'll be keen.
And then they'll be like a world first.
Yeah, cool.
But while you're on the phone to her, she's like ringing those old phones.
You've got to like wear it up at the same time.
Now, Americans will wear a hoodie with the name of their university on it
all the time.
You see that everywhere, right?
But as you know, that's not appropriate here in Australia.
It isn't.
It is not.
Go on.
Well, I'm just remembering the story that you got into.
Was it a LinkedIn argument with somebody
because you are going to Melbourne Uni, Melbourne Business School,
and you didn't get a hoodie.
Everyone else was rocking these hoodies.
And you didn't get one and you said, well, I'm paying such
and such $1,000 a year to come here.
I should get a hoodie as well.
And you told me this story only recently and I was like,
well, when are you going to wear that?
Literally you're going to get it, cause all this fuss,
and then it's going to sit in your cupboard.
Okay, here's the issue.
And you're maybe going to wear it when you paint the house
or something if it was like one of those kind of outfits.
Yeah, so first of all, as soon as I kicked up a stink on LinkedIn,
I was like, why don't I get them?
They're sold out from the online store.
I want to get this thing.
Where do I buy it?
Wow, that is alpha dog energy.
I've paid all this money.
It's more Karen energy, if I'm being honest.
And I made a bit of a stink that I couldn't buy one.
A total stink.
And I'm paying, you know, it's an MBA, the better one in Australia.
It's ranked high.
What I'm saying is it's an investment.
It's a big layer.
And all I'm asking for is a hoodie.
And I was like, well, how much is it? Where is it? Why
is the shop online so close? And then this
lady from Melbourne Business School replies on
LinkedIn and goes, you don't have
to buy it. All students can just go to the cupboard and grab
it. Have you been in to grab
yours? Obviously not.
It's coming tomorrow. I'll get it for you. And I was like,
oh, yeah.
And poor Tanya, who fucking messaged you.
She's like,'s this arsehole
Every fucking day
Yeah and I literally rocked up
And there's just like
Anyone can just walk in
And grab
There's like drink bottles
It's like you just grab it
Yeah
And they're like
So you grabbed 10
Sold them online
Made a profit
MBA
I was like I paid for it
And they're like
Yeah you did
So help yourself
And I was like
Oh
Okay
So then he is
So I was a bit
I was a bit embarrassing
And then when I was in class, because, you know,
when someone from your university tags the university,
everyone else goes there, sees it.
And so a lot of people are like, oh, hey, man, did you get your hoodie?
Because I saw that stink.
How fucking embarrassing.
So anyway, have I worn it?
I then went to – I had class a few weekends ago.
I've been doing every Sunday.
And I went to put it on and bridge it.
And maybe even you said as well, oh, no, that's a bit keen.
No, that's not.
You can't wear it to uni.
That's way too, you know.
Faux pas.
Faux pas.
Yeah, not okay.
And I was like, well, I'm not going to, like, wear it down the street.
Absolutely not.
So if I can't wear it down the street.
You get beat up.
Yeah, and rightly so.
I've seen a few around here.
And you're like, oh, their wife didn't let them know.
So I'm like, well, I can't wear it down the street.
I can't wear it. I street. I can't wear it.
I've kicked up a stink and it's just sitting in the cupboard.
Yep.
Yep.
If I was in the US, I'd be rocking it.
Yeah, but that would be fine.
In an episode of the OC, they're like all deciding what college
they're going to go off to.
And Marissa has like a Berkeley hoodie and stuff like that.
And I remember being like, oh, my God, when I go to uni,
I can't wait to get a hoodie.
Were you also going to go to Berkeley with Marissa?
No, I wasn't.
I was just going to WAPA in WA.
But I really thought the same thing as you.
I thought how great's that?
And then I was like, it's a certain type of person that wears the T-shirt
or the hoodie to the university, you'll find.
When I went to college in the US, every second person was wearing it.
I know, I know.
But every second person was wearing the college hoodie
because, again, it's part of their culture.
Question.
Yeah.
Could you wear the American hoodie like college that you went to in Australia?
Would that be a flex or would people be like,
that guy bought that from Cotton Mom? He didn't go there.
I did back in the day and it was a flex.
Nice.
Because it's like, yeah.
Because you're like, I didn't buy it from Cotton On.
Yeah.
I fucking went there.
Cotton On's not selling Lindenwood volleyball hoodies.
But they sell fucking like NYU ones and shit.
Yeah.
So Americans will wear hoodies with a university name on it.
Not appropriate in Australia.
No.
But what is appropriate in Australia is a hoodie with the hardware store logo on it.
Oh, yep.
A Bunnings one or a Bunnings hat.
Yep.
Now, I'm assuming other countries might look down on that.
But here in Australia, we're like, nah, bro.
That's cool.
That's real cool.
You go to a music festival, you see someone in a Bunnings cap and you're like, what a mad dog.
Yeah.
We have the big broad brim Bunnings hats like for camping and going to the beach.
How many times have you camped in the last two years?
Last two years?
Oh, we actually don't even have them anymore.
When we were in WA we did.
Oh, okay, right.
Yeah.
Or if you're doing like housework out the front or whatever,
what's that called?
Gardening.
Out the front of your apartment building?
Been a few years.
Bridget got one of those hats to do some gardening out the back
and used it once and had a great day and now it's just sitting there.
But, I mean, now it's a piece of history.
Yeah.
We're just waiting for a music festival to wear it.
An homage to your favourite hardware store.
In Australia, if you like to, go to the snow.
You go to the snow this year?
Have you been to the snow?
Do you want to go to the snow?
Have you ever been to the snow?
No.
So in America.
That's rich people chat.
Yeah.
Well, you're from Western Australia.
They don't get snow and people don't understand snow in Western Australia.
No, no, no.
We don't.
We genuinely don't.
It frightens us.
But in America.
Yeah.
You don't go to the snow.
The snow comes to, it literally falls from the fucking sky.
You wouldn't, you wouldn't read about it.
But in Australia, it's such a foreign concept.
I just, yeah, it doesn't make sense to me.
So I, when I was, again, I was in St. Louis where it snows in the winter
and I once said, oh, yeah, we used to go to the snow.
And then someone said, oh, no, no, you've got that wrong, Australian kid.
You don't go to the snow.
It comes to you from the sky.
But can you just like, I know that you can't like ski
in your neighbourhood or whatever, but is tobogganing like a real thing?
Absolutely.
Like when you slide down a hill or whatever?
Is that real?
When it pissed down, is that a technical term for snow?
No.
It really came down strong for a few days.
So we went to the, like, there's
a big grassy bank at the football field where you
sit on the lawn and watch the game. And we were sliding
down that. Is that real?
Yeah, and I was drunk. Because you see that on the TV.
It really is. And there was a girl who had her snowboard
out going down just a hill and it was
funny. And we ended up playing football,
all of the volleyball dudes,
because you can tackle each other and land in the soft snow and it's
kind of just like you're kids again.
And people who were maybe locals were a bit like, oh, okay.
But there was me and like the guys from Hawaii and we're like,
it's Christmas.
This is the greatest day ever.
It probably literally was Christmas.
And they're like, yeah, it is.
I'm like, yeah, but like it's a saying.
And they're like, yeah, but it is.
What?
What?
It's the 25th.
But I remember just like running because it was a bit icy as well
and just like sliding on my chest, like just running and just sliding.
It's insane.
Like 10, 20 metres.
She's like, this is so fun.
Oh, I've only been in like falling snow once or twice in Japan.
And the first time I saw it, I cried.
Yeah, it's beautiful.
I like bawled my eyes out.
It was so special.
People from Perth don't see snow.
No, no, it's not.
Most of Australia, like you just don't see snow. No, no, it's not. Most of Australia, like, you just don't see it.
Oh, see, America is so cool.
I remind you they don't have kettles or hip hip.
Yeah, or abortions.
Final one.
Apparently, now this might flap you actually.
This isn't even like a judgment.
I reckon this will, like, the more you think about this,
the more it will do your head in americans pay for petrol before they fill up the
tank how much do you need okay what's it gonna cost so someone i'd put this what if i pay for
it and then the fuel bowels is not and I've got to do a whole refund?
So I put this on Twitter last week and I said,
how much do you put in?
And this lady replies, goes, you just sort of guess.
Guess what?
Oh, I'll just put $1,000 down just in case.
Like, what do you mean? Well, then if you spend $100, where's your other $900?
There's no refund.
Isn't there?
Well, then you've got to go, well, you probably could,
but then you've got to go back in and there's another person waiting for you
because you're going back in.
Oh, my God.
It costs $1,000 every time you fuel up.
Yeah.
Or the worst I would have thought is if you go, okay, $20.
That's obviously not the full tank.
Yeah.
You just get a three-quarter tank and you're like, well, I was too scared to overpay, so
now I've got a three-quarter tank.
Nah.
We aren't going next year.
We're never going.
Flight's cancelled.
Nah.
There's just no way I can deal with that kind of anxiety.
Even if we don't have cars because we don't live there?
Nah. You refuse to get an cars because we don't live there? No.
You refuse to get an Uber because what if it needs petrol?
Hey, this is Kiki from Boston, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tarpers over at our Patreon.
You can check it out at any time you like.
The link is in our bio, in our show notes, on our TikTok.
Not in our B-reel.
We didn't do that.
We didn't do that. Lots of people messaging us.
We didn't do that.
Damien Wright.
Damien wrong.
Katie Wrigley.
Oh, she's moving around a bit. Laura Kathleen. do that. Damien Wright. Damien wrong. Katie Wrigley. Oh, she's moving
around a bit. Laura Kathleen. Hayley St. Odd Art. Amy Gillis. Thank you so much. Abby.
Rails. Gabby Smith. Vivian. Oh my God. If you're new to the show, you might not know
that nothing, well, maybe a barista who's Sam Draper, but nothing gets Tony worked up
more than a girl named Vivian.
Just the name Vivian.
Does not matter who it is.
Oh, whoop.
Thanks, Vivian.
Chug you after this.
Anna Williams, Jess Pratt and Ruth Lee, thank you very much
for being part of Patreon.
Tomorrow on the show, things you can...
Do you need them?
I reckon Vivian's listening now.
Vivian?
Hey, Viv, if you are.
Tomorrow on the show
things you can say making a cuppa
cup of tea, cup of coffee
and also in the bedroom.
That's coming up tomorrow. But one of
the many things that Champion Tappers have
access to and all people on the Patreon
they vote on the movies we watch each
week and this week
we actually had a fan submission.
A fan submission.
Of a movie category.
Is it the most random category we've had yet?
If you don't know, like it's kind of like if you know, you know.
Like if you don't listen to the pod, then you'd be like,
what the fuck does that mean?
But if you're listening, you're like, ah, that adds up.
So what was the category?
So Gemma suggested movies that you can put meow into the title.
So we
came up with a couple. Austin Powers
Gold Meowmba, the third
Austin Powers movie. Meowt
the Parents. The
Hunger Games Meow King J
Part 1. Mad
Meowks or The Meow Tricks.
And the winner, far and away, 51% of votes, Meowma Mia.
Meowma Mia.
With Meow All Street and A Meow in Deciphery.
And I sort of forgot that Pierce Brosnan was in it.
Oh, yeah.
And the three dads.
Colin Firth.
Yeah.
They're all, like, legit.
Yeah.
I don't know who the other guy is.
I don't know his name, but as soon as I saw him, I was like, you know,
oh, that guy.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, hey, mate.
Yeah.
I know I said it before, but, jeez,
they really rub the musical in your face, don't they?
This will shock many people, I would say.
It shocked one of my best friends, Lane.
She loves this movie, Meow, Meow, Meow.
Yep.
I hadn't seen it. Really. I hadn't seen it.
Really? I hadn't seen it.
That is a surprise.
Yeah.
And now that you have seen it?
I feel like if I'd watched it years ago,
it would be probably one of those comfort movies that you love to watch.
If you watch it when you were at art school at WAPA doing music
and when you were in your theatre stage.
Or if it was something that like you went to the movies and saw it with your sisters
or something that you'd probably froth it.
I had seen the show, like the live show with mum, like when I was a kid.
So I didn't remember it like at all.
I didn't hate it.
It was loud.
It was colourful.
I thought that like the, like Meryl Streep's friends,
they were really funny and stuff like that. And I thought it was just like so innocent,
so dumb. And I didn't hate it. I love their commitment to a green screen when appropriate.
There were a few scenes where they're like, oh, you definitely shot the boat scene in Greece.
Yeah. This one? Who's to shot the boat scene in Greece. Yeah.
This one, who's to say?
Maybe not in Greece.
Who's to say?
I do appreciate that.
And one thing that does me in, and this is going to become a common theme
from now on in cinema history and music history,
is I've seen the TikTok, don't go wasting.
And then I had that moment of like, that's from this.
I've seen people recreate that scene a million times.
I'll sing the song and lip sync it.
On the beach and stuff, yeah.
But I didn't know that this is where it was from.
Because I found myself singing along.
I'm like, but I don't know this song.
Why am I singing along?
And then it gets to that line and I was like, it's that TikTok thing.
I did the exact same thing with the, how old are you?
20.
Ah!
You know how that's like really like, ah!
I'm 20.
I did that.
I was like, oh, that's from this.
Oh, that's from here.
That's nice.
That's nice.
So for the wrap this week, are we.
Sorry.
Hang on.
Oh, we're not done yet.
You don't even fucking find out who her dad is.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I'm watching the movie and then it's over.
And I'm like, oh, fuck, did I tune out at some point?
Yes.
Yep.
But I'm like, oh, fuck, I've missed something.
And I kind of, like, went back and because obviously Pierce Brosnan,
like, no spoilers, came out fucking 65 years ago.
Pierce Brosnan, like, proposes to Meryl Streep and stuff.
But I was like, oh, so he's the dad.
But he's, like, and I was like, hang on, I fucking missed something here.
I Googled it.
You don't find out.
So.
There's, like, Reddit on, I fucking missed something here. I Googled it. You don't find out. There's like Reddit threads about it.
Imagine this.
It's a murder mystery movie.
Yeah.
Meow to mewstery.
Meowvie, yeah.
And you get to the end of the movie and like the movie producer just walks out
and goes, oh, we don't know either.
And the credits come down.
It's basically like a who is it and you never find out.
Oh, my God.
What?
Have you seen, oh, fuck, what's that Jake Gyllenhaal movie?
That killer, the killer that sends the codes.
It's like based on a true story.
Donnie Darko.
No.
Love and other drugs.
Spider-Man. No. Love and other drugs. Spider-Man.
No, fuck.
Everybody's shouting at their car right now or their AirPods or whatever.
The Boxer.
No, hang on.
I've used up all my Jake Gyllenhaal movies.
Jake Gyllenhaal killer movie.
Zodiac.
The Zodiac Killer.
Right.
Right.
Okay, so Zodiac came out in 2007, so hopefully this isn't a spoiler.
So this movie is based on a real story and you're watching it
and it's like really fucking scary because all this stuff happens.
It's fucking spooky as.
Then all of a sudden the credits roll and you don't find out who killed him.
What?
And I turned to Torbs and I was like, what a fucking stupid movie.
I was on the edge of my seat the whole time.
He's like, they don't know who it is in real life either.
I would be quite happy for the scriptwriter to just choose a guy.
But I was like.
Would that be the ultimate defamation?
It's like it's a movie based on a real story and they're like,
it was Carl.
It was him. And then Carl goes to court four years later and the jury's all seen the movie
and they go, well, we know it was you, Carl.
Jake Gyllenhaal told us that's what happened.
So you calling Jake Gyllenhaal a liar?
Is that what you're saying?
Because we've seen Donnie Darko.
We've seen the fighter.
He gave great performance in all of them and I trust him with my life.
I've seen him in Brokeback Mountain.
But so, yeah, and you literally don't know who the killer is
and Torbs is like super smug.
He's like, yeah, I don't know who did it. Shut up, Torbs.
That's fucking horrifying.
If you hadn't knew that.
Yeah, he's still out there.
Yeah.
Somewhere out there.
It could be you.
It could be one of the dads from Mamma Mia.
It could be the same guy who chased in my murderous.
Okay, the rap.
Do you want to hear it?
Please.
Okay. 2022. Mamma Mia rap. Here we go to hear it? Please. Okay.
2022.
Meow-ma-mia rap.
Here we go.
Team Lodge.
Let's do it.
Movies with a meow in the title for a change.
The options all covered a bit of a range.
We ended up with Meow-ma-mia.
This week, fans of our bar.
Can't be crap, huh?
Sophie's getting married trying to find her dad.
But with three options it could end bad.
Not sure what she thought would happen.
Inviting all these random men.
Me, me, me.
Sorry, Anne.
I was so mixed up in the mystery of who was the father,
I forgot to put the horns at the end.
Mate, you've got to be horned.
Always be horned.
And I'm always saying that.
Yeah, you are always saying that. I have said that many a time.
You are on record as saying that.
So, in conclusion.
Yes.
Don't know who the dad is.
We don't even know who Amanda Seyfried is.
No.
She could be the Zodiac Killer.
Things you love to see.
A message here from Heather Diamond, who's a tarper.
Hi, Heather.
And she put this in the group.
My husband and I struggle sometimes being on our phones too much,
and I think we can all fall into that trap.
You're just sitting on the couch on your phones and, you know,
you just want your start.
It makes me so sad because I think what if Torbs dies
and I've spent every night sitting next to him in a scroll hole
looking at other people's lives instead of enjoying ours?
I mean, that's what Heather was experiencing.
But now that you've said that, I think we're all going to go home and cry.
So that's fucking depressing for a Monday.
Sorry.
So tonight, says Heather, we played a game where we both wrote out relationship coupons.
And then we played different games and made different bets to win them.
So, you know, just try and have a bit of fun.
That's cute.
I was worried all of his coupons were going to be like sex related or jokes.
But we ended up writing down a lot of the same things.
Taking each other out for dates, spa days at home,
cooking for one another and no phones date.
It reaffirmed that I married the right guy and you just love to see it.
You fucking do love to see that.
You do love to see that.
That's very special.
Yeah.
What a great idea.
What a great date night idea.
Great date night idea.
But I think I also like the playful gaminess of it.
Yeah.
Because there's a bit of back and forth and whatever.
Yeah.
And then you don't know what the other person's going to write down as a coupon and stuff.
Yeah.
What would Torbs like as a coupon from you?
Um, ooh, you're putting me on the spot here.
Why ponder?
I know for Bridget, she is like in the love language game and acts of service.
So for me to write out a coupon that's like, if you get home and you're tired and it's like,
I'll do the dinner, the cleaning, the whatever.
You don't even have to choose what you want to eat.
You just sit there and I'll take care of it.
She would go, oh, what a gift.
I was literally about to say the same thing.
He's the same.
Torbs would appreciate it if I was like, I'll do dinner.
Yeah.
All good.
Yeah, because he does all the cooking.
I did dinner last night.
No, you didn't.
Yeah.
What did you make?
Did you order pizza?
Yeah.
No, we got a gnocchi and I found like a tomato sauce.
It was very easy, but it was just, again.
It's just the fact that she's on the couch, she doesn't have to do it.
No, that's really nice.
Oh, where'd you go?
Tiramisu?
No, we went the apple and rhubarb pie.
The one from Toscano's?
Yeah.
I mean, you just put it in the oven.
It's easy.
But slice of that and a little bit of ice cream. Oh, shit. Do you got custard on a pie? I like a custard on a pie. The one from Toscano's? Yeah, I mean, you just put it in the oven. It's easy. But a slice of that and a little bit of ice cream.
Oh, shit.
Do you got custard on a pie? I like a custard on a pie.
I do like that. I don't do it.
Like, choose it. But if it was there,
you'd go it. 100%.
Yeah, you have to. Be rude not to. I think Mum whips that out
at Christmas sometimes. Don't you?
Go on, I'll be making my way up to Eltham for Christmas.
Well, you were invited last year and didn't come.
Okay, that is not the full story.
Anyway, my love to you.
Is that true, though?
Did I not invite you for Christmas?
There wasn't room for us at your Christmas.
Did I invite you to Christmas?
Was there room for us at Christmas?
Did you get invited?
Was there room?
But did you get invited?
Was it an empty offer?
If I'd have said yes, it would have been a bit of a drama.
No, it would have been fine.
Yes, it fucking would have.
We would have had to find a couple of extra seats.
And beds. No, we would have figured fine. Yes, it fucking would have. We would have had to find a couple extra seats. And beds.
No, we would have figured it out.
But did I invite you?
It was an empty offer.
Did I invite you?
Yes.
And did you say no?
Was it an empty offer?
No, it was not.
Yes, it fucking was.
Take that fucking smug grin off your face.
All right, all I'm going to say is that there were six or,
I think there were six seats at the table.
Yep.
And there were six of us on the day.
Yep.
So it was an empty offer. No, we would have brought in the trestle table. We wouldn't have had BJ seats at the table. Yep. And there were six of us on the day. Yep. So it was an empty offer.
No, we would have brought in the trestle table.
We wouldn't have had BJ sit on the floor.
And that, you know, really ruins the atmosphere when you're at...
Running a trestle in.
But when you're the one sitting on the trestle...
It's for...
My cousin Ryan brought some girl he works with.
Some girl he works with!
That was from Bonnie.
That was her voice. Fucking... I'm going to steal her jumper. Anyway, okay. I've got to... That was from Bonnie. That was her voice.
Fucking, I'm going to steal her jumper.
Anyway, okay, I've got a You Love To See It.
And it also is from a top up from Logan Devaney.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Logan said, my You Love To See It was driving across the country
on a four-day drive in America and making my best friend
slash passenger listen to Tony and Ryan the whole time.
Good, good. It only took him about 13 hours to get him hooked on the podcast.
It's a slow burn.
That's 26 episodes.
You know those really shit true crime.
But in season three, it really gets going.
And here's a picture of Logan's car.
And you can see Tony and Ryan playing on the side.
Only took 13.
13 hours.
26 episodes.
Wow, good to know.
Or just stick with it for 26 episodes.
You'll love it.
No, you'll get the hang of it after a few.
Maybe we'll need to work on making the first ep good.
Yeah, well, not every ep can be good,
and every ep could be someone's first.
If today's your first ep, give it another 25, I reckon,
and then you'll really hit it.
It really hits it straight around 50.
Yeah, this isn't that shit, actually.
I do love to say that, though, thanks for the commitment.
I thought that was sweet.
Just imagine, I mean, we did go on a road trip together.
We did.
And I had to take a nap just to give us a break from one another.
Isn't that what the deal was when you were like, oh, did you want to have a nap?
Is that what you meant?
No, we actually had a good time.
Well, it fucking doesn't sound like it, does it?
No, we did.
Anyway, goodbye.
No, I don't want to leave on this note.
Never go to bed angry.
Maybe we could write each other a coupon.
Maybe that would be a good friendship exercise.
What would I put on my coupon?
For me?
Anal.
Okay.
Yep.
Did you want time to think about it or?
Maybe anal.
What would you put on my one?
I already said.
Oh, we're both the same thing.
We're just exchanging anal notes.
All right, we'll see you tomorrow.
Love you, bye.