Toni and Ryan - You Love To See It Marathon

Episode Date: November 13, 2023

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. We are calling San Antonio in Texas and it is Carrie. Carrie? I reckon it's Carrie. Carrie. Hello. Hello. This is Tony and Ryan from Tony and Ryan HQ in Melbourne, Australia. Who are we speaking with today?
Starting point is 00:00:24 Carrie. Carrie. I was right. I we speaking with today? Carrie. Carrie. I was right. I thought it might have been Carrie. Yeah. Ryan said Carrie. No, it's common. Oh.
Starting point is 00:00:32 I know. When you read it, when you read it before you said Carrie and I was like, oh, but it's not your fault. It happens all the time. Oh, so I did it too. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Sorry, Carrie.
Starting point is 00:00:41 Sorry, Carrie. Just, you know what? Blame my parents. It's not your fault. Yeah. Actually, that's a great point. Yeah. Let's get them on the Carrie. You know what? Blame my parents. It's not your fault. Actually, that's a great point. Yeah, let's get them on the phone. Yeah, what's the deal? Right?
Starting point is 00:00:51 Will you approve today's podcast? Yes, I will. Yes. Woo-hoo! There we go. Hi, it's Carrie from San Antonio, Texas, and I approve this podcast. Yeah. All right, coming up today, things in Australia that we would like to offer as a gesture that America might like to adopt
Starting point is 00:01:22 after we'll be adopting a few American things. Yeah, advice is free. You don't have to take after we'll be adopting a few American things. Yeah. Advice is free. You don't have to take it, but I strongly suggest that you do. Yeah. But first, these are top confessions. And that's top confessions, Tony and Ryan podcast confessions.
Starting point is 00:01:41 You go. Oh, sorry. No, you're right. No, okay, you go. What? No, you go. Oh, sorry. No, you're right. No, okay, you go. What? No, you go. Tonyandryan.com.au. There's a confessions page. You can submit these anonymously, and today's are anonymous for a reason.
Starting point is 00:01:57 I mean, they're always for a reason, but, like, it's pretty fucked. Would you like to start with hardworking slut or the mystery poop in a school camp? Hardworking slut. Okay. Because that sounds like me. Yeah. We like to start with hardworking slut or the mystery poop in a school camp? Hardworking slut. Okay. Because that sounds like me. Yeah. We like to see when life imitates art. All right.
Starting point is 00:02:12 Anonymous said, says, messages in. Frustratingly anonymous, by the way. We cannot ask any follow-up questions. This innocent girl at my high school, Jane, heard some other girls calling someone a slut and she didn't know what it meant. She asked me and Jane, she's just so sweet and I mean, oh, it just means hard working. Sure. She didn't want to
Starting point is 00:02:43 go into details and she said you know girls are saying nasty things about other girls and she was just like oh you know it just means hard working it's a good thing or you know don't don't worry about it right p.s girls is mean in high school hey oh like awful like so so, so awful. Yeah. Like we said yesterday, I did not grow up hot. I grew up interesting. And it's like not a nice way to grow up when you're at school. It's good now.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Yeah. How's it going for you? Yeah, I mean, where are the hot girls? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. They're in California. Yeah, fuck.
Starting point is 00:03:30 Little did I know Jane started using this word with the meaning I gave her. And she said of another girl, I bet Trisha will be a real slut when she's older. Jane meant it as a compliment. But as girls would know, the fact Jane said this about Trisha spread like wildfire through the school. That is. Did you hear what Jane said about Trisha? Trisha was in tears and was so humiliated. And Jane was getting ripped into by everyone for being so mean. I feel like this was kind of my fault. Well, it actually was your fault. 100% your fault. Yep. And years later, I still feel terrible.
Starting point is 00:04:11 But wouldn't Jane have been like, hey, why did you tell me it means this thing when it doesn't? It's like a horrible thing to say. Anonymous is implied through the whole message that like just in the whole high school learning things that like Jane didn't really remember where she picked that up. Oh, okay. She's like, oh, I just heard it meant this. Oh. Oh, I mean, poor Tricia, because that's really horrible. So, what happens, someone comes up and goes, hey, Tricia,
Starting point is 00:04:33 I'm sorry that I have to tell you this. I didn't want to have to tell you this, but I think you should know. But I am going to. But I think you should know that Jane is telling everyone that you're a slut. I mean, and that is what happens. Yeah. Because that's how it goes down. Yeah. I wish I didn't have to tell you this.
Starting point is 00:04:47 Really? You ran over and found me. Yeah, you sprinted. Yeah, you sprinted from the library and told me that you heard this thing. That's fucked. I mean, it's fucked that we call each other that kind of shit anyway. Like, you know on Mean Girls when she's like, you guys have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores and stuff.
Starting point is 00:05:07 I'm like, oh. But, I mean, everybody used to say it when I was at school. Yeah. I feel like we've reclaimed it a bit. Like, you know Jonathan Van Ness from Queer Eye? Yeah. And they're like, oh, you're a hot slut and you're going to slay the day. And so, I'm just like, oh, I love that.
Starting point is 00:05:24 Mystery poop in a school camp. Again, this sounds like me as well. Anonymous says, I'm a fussy eater and on school camp I didn't like most of the food, so I only ate boiled rice and salad cream. And after a few days of eating only that and not needing to go to the bathroom, by the time I did need to go, it was physically dense and with a dense smell. The poop and the air around it was thick. Oh, but just the thought of only having rice and dairy in your tummy,
Starting point is 00:05:56 you've basically eaten rice pudding nonstop for five days. Yep. Oh. It was so dense and so thick that it did not flush. And she's at a school camp with all her friends. And they often like the water isn't like great at like a camp. The girls in the cabin were hysterical. But they didn't want to like have to get the teacher or anything because everyone was embarrassed. But my friend Sarah was a trooper.
Starting point is 00:06:23 She rolled up her sleeve and grabbed it and threw it out the cabin window. The rest of us stood in silence as Sarah washed her shit-covered hands. We were both disgusted and slightly impressed at the same time. Why is this not the first confession we've had where someone threw a shit out the window? Like, you're pissing on a bus and now we're like, what is happening? We should be shocked by these by now. No.
Starting point is 00:06:52 I'm like, oh, yeah, so then what happened? Yeah, when's the confession start? Oh. But I love that. Threw the shit out the window. But I love that the girls are standing there and going, what are we going to do? And Sarah's like, fucking take a step back, everyone.
Starting point is 00:07:02 Oh. I do. You love to see that from Sarah. I think someone had to take control of the situation. The next day, a crowd gathered to watch the maintenance man clear up the fecal matter that had baked in the previous day's afternoon sun. We all think we knew, and by we, I mean all of the students, knew that this was a
Starting point is 00:07:28 human poop. You can just tell a human poop when you see a human poop. I think so. But the maintenance man... The smell as well. A dog poo doesn't smell like a human poop. You know what I mean? Now that your daughter Mabel is getting on solids, it starts to smell like poo. Yeah, real poo. Like actual poo. Yeah. Like when it's just milk or formula or whatever.
Starting point is 00:07:48 It's just nothing. It's just kind of like sludge. It's just like zero. Yeah. But like it's actual human shit now. She's eating pumpkin and got a bit of meat the other day. Beware of the beets. You know, what I say, you got to-
Starting point is 00:07:59 Internal bleeding. Yeah. Yeah. The maintenance man couldn't figure out what animal could have left something so big because we're out on school camp. And you know when, like, you're talking about animal poo and they call it scat? Isn't that just the most disgusting? I've never heard that. Really?
Starting point is 00:08:15 Yeah, like, oh, the animals leave their scat. Like, you talk about, like, marsupials and stuff. It's like what kind of scat they leave. But isn't that still nicer than... Oh, the animal shit. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Especially on school camp with primary school that still nicer than... Oh, that little shit. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Especially in a school camp with primary school kids,
Starting point is 00:08:28 they'll be like, oh, shit. Pooh-poohs. Pooh-poohs. Scat. I've never heard that. Is that related to Scatman? I was about to. I'm the Scatman.
Starting point is 00:08:42 That's his remix, obviously. Yeah, I love that song. Not anymore. Our cabin group never said anything on the camp or ever again till now. Oh, no, you've got to keep that locked down. That I, the anonymous pooper, was the one who dropped the floating brown bomb. Oh. I think Sarah deserves more.
Starting point is 00:09:00 What a hot slut. What a hot slut. She's going to be such a slut when she's older. Hi, it's Kerry from San Antonio, Texas, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Tapas, Tony and Ryan podcast. There was evil coming out of that.
Starting point is 00:09:40 It was like an episode of Supernatural. We're on the other side of the planet. I'm all weird. We're out of whack. Yeah. And we're also just like, we've been away for a while Yeah, shit's getting a bit kooky over here. Anything I can do for you, mate? No, I'm pretty good. You okay? Yeah. You want me to get you some cold water? No, I've got some room water and then this iced coffee is actually pretty yum
Starting point is 00:10:01 Yeah? We've had some good coffee and we've had some pretty not good coffee. We're about to talk about things that maybe America could adopt. Maybe we could add coffee to the list. Shea Tribe, good on you, Shea. Thank you so much. Catherine Moser, Katie Krull, Ashburn and Cubby Coastner. Sorry, was it someone called Ashburn? Ashburn.
Starting point is 00:10:20 Okay, I think that's a suburb in Melbourne. Ashburn. That's very funny. But it's Byrne, B-Y-R-N-E. In Australia, I mean, in Perth, there's Ashburton. I think there's an Ashburton in Melbourne as well. If you live in Ashburton, well done to you or your parents. Oh, is that gone? Oh, that's not where I live, obviously. Obviously not.
Starting point is 00:10:48 Are we doing things that we're liking in Australia? So things that we would love to suggest that maybe the Americas adopt from the Australias. Australian things that Americans could froth if they wanted to. Could froth. Froth. Froth. Froth. Froth. Can you tell me something's good like you froth it? Oh, froth. Fuck, okay,oth. Froth. Froth.
Starting point is 00:11:06 Can you tell me like something's good like you froth it? Oh, froth. Fuck, okay. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got you. And the first one is the use of that word. Yeah. We love it.
Starting point is 00:11:13 We love it. Use it right though because you get dangerous in the wrong hands. Yeah. I know we were talking about coffee very briefly just then. Yeah. So, Australia, massive coffee culture, especially Melbourne. We're such wankers about it um i explained to um like we were in a taxi and they're like oh so you're from the uk and i was like now
Starting point is 00:11:32 we're from australia and he's like oh you guys don't even have coffee in australia and i was like you have got that wrong i'll be right fucking there mate um and i was explaining to this guy about how it's like not for everybody to have a proper espresso machine in their house, or at least a Nescafe pod or whatever. Nespresso, sorry. Anyway, and we're talking about coffee, and the thing that I would like for Americans to take on from Australia about coffee,
Starting point is 00:12:05 and it's not to do with the beans, it's not to do with the taste. Make them smaller, dog. Oh, yeah. You cannot go anywhere and get, like, a six-ounce coffee. Remember that time we all ordered a medium and all nearly died? I ordered a small, and it was, like, a large Coke Zero that you get from McDonald's. Like, they are just so big, and I just can't get through it.
Starting point is 00:12:28 Like, it's so hot. You have to wait for ages. And then you're, like, carrying around this, like, gulp, super gulp with, like, a hot liquid in it. Yeah. I don't need that. It's too much admin. A big coffee is too much admin.
Starting point is 00:12:42 I know that you loved New York. Yes. I did. And even though literally every city we went to, we were like, oh. I'm going to leave you here. I know that you loved New York. Yes, I did. And even though literally every city we went to, we were like, oh. I'm going to leave you here. We're going to leave you here. I mean, New York, like, touched your heart. It did.
Starting point is 00:12:55 There was something very special about being in New York, I think, like, a little Perth girl in the big city, something pretty thrilling about that. Near Spotify in Brooklyn, New York, the cafe down there, a little coffee. Well, I'm moving to Brooklyn. Yeah. Gentrification, love to say. But I just, I don't know why. Rich white girl moves out of Manhattan to the suburbs of Brooklyn. Across the bridge.
Starting point is 00:13:17 But I actually saw the little cups and I was like, they get it. Because it's not about the milk and your fucking daily carb intake. It's about the taste of the yum coffee. Yeah. And if you're filling it with milk and pumps of fucking syrup, what you're doing is covering over the fact you probably burnt the beans. Yeah. Let the coffee be the hero.
Starting point is 00:13:34 Yeah, but there's been a few places here where- Cover the beans. Cover up the beans. There's a reason that they use the syrup. Know what I'm saying? Did you want three or four pumps of the hazelnut sweet art? Yeah. You know what?
Starting point is 00:13:46 Pop some chocolate in there and, like, make it a deal. Don't let me taste them burnt beans. One of the first places that we went, they're like, do you want sugar? And I was like, oh, no, thank you, like, I don't take sugar. And then I tasted it and went, could I get some of that sugar, please? Yeah, please. Yeah. But I just want a little coffee, a little tiny coffee,
Starting point is 00:14:04 and it's not a thing here. Yeah. Yeah. It would be great if you could want a little coffee, a little tiny coffee. And it's not a thing here. Yeah. Yeah. It would be great if you could get a little coffee. Yeah. And what would they call that? Because they can still keep the big sizes. But, I mean, if you've already got a small, medium, large,
Starting point is 00:14:14 is this like an extra small? Well, you know. And then you can be like, I just like them tiny. Yeah, I'm so small. You know how in Melbourne, like a piccolo is like literally just a shot with like a touch of milk in it or something. A piccolo here would probably be like a small coffee flat white in Australia. So, if you got a piccolo here and that was like a regular cup, that would be fine. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:40 If we're talking about like the size comparisons. Or maybe, I wonder how big a baby Chino is in America. Yeah, but they don't have coffee. It's not a size. It's like there's no coffee in it. Yeah, but it's a little cup. Yeah, so a baby Chino sized Chino. Latte.
Starting point is 00:14:55 Yeah. Can I get a baby Chino hold the baby? That was very funny. I'll take that. Or it's like a baby Chino with coffee. Yeah, can I get the adult Chino? With his decaf. Can I get the re-calf?
Starting point is 00:15:12 Re-calf. Re-calf the baby Chino. Can I get a re-calf baby Chino? Hold the marshmallow? Thank you so much. Now, this one's a subtle suggestion that you don't need to take. But we... But we implore that you do.
Starting point is 00:15:23 No, because we've done it and they didn't get it. And so we look like the fuckheads. Oh, no. What have I done? In Australia, when you leave a shop or a cafe or a bar. Oh, don't. In Australia, when you leave a place, on your way out, you go. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:15:43 Thank you. Cheers to guys. Thank you. Cheers, guys. All good. Thank you. And usually the person behind the bar or behind the coffee machine or the waiter just goes, cheers, mate. All good. Have a great day.
Starting point is 00:15:52 Yeah. So, that's just very- Even if you don't buy anything. Yeah. Thank you. All good. Cheers, guys. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:00 It was so embarrassing. It has happened more than once. Yeah. Should we just talk about the first time? Yeah. The first of many times, but the first time this happened, we're at a bar, we have a few drinks, great place, and then we leave and we're like, thanks, guys.
Starting point is 00:16:17 And the bartender's like, what the fuck? It was like we were trying to make a grand exit. Like, it was- Like, that's what they thought. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like they're looking at us like.
Starting point is 00:16:27 We are leaving. Hey, just letting everyone know we're going. Like, did anyone want a photo? They're like, who the fuck are you? Who are these Australian main characters here announcing an exit? Get the fuck out. And I was like. You already paid and tipped.
Starting point is 00:16:40 What do I, what am I doing? What more pleasantries are there? Yeah. And they're like, I'm not going to make any more fucking money out of you. So, if you could just get the fuck out. You had your drink, you paid for it, now fuck off. Oh, and I keep doing, like, as just automatically, I just keep doing it. And it's not going down well.
Starting point is 00:17:00 There hasn't been. I'm standing by it, though. I think it's polite. I think it's nice too And it's nice to kind of like Wrap up the convo Like you know how we talked about recently Monday and a couple of weeks ago
Starting point is 00:17:11 They all roll into one Yeah But when we were talking about How like when you're on the phone with someone And you don't just go Cool bye And hang up You kind of go
Starting point is 00:17:19 Alright look Well I better let you go And then they go Oh yep no worries Alright well I'll chat with you later Yeah sweet See you later See ya bye See ya Thank you mate Yeah I'll chat with you later. Yeah, sweet. See you later.
Starting point is 00:17:25 See you, bye. See you. Thank you, mate. Yeah, I'll chat to you soon. See you, Tony. All right, bye, mate. Catch you later. You know, you've got to do a few goodbyes.
Starting point is 00:17:35 That's to me what the thank you, guys, feels like. It's like the final wrap up. Yeah, because if we didn't do that, like, am I still at the bar? Are we still chatting, technically? Where was the closure? Am I still? Yeah, no, I didn't want another Diet Coke. You know, like you're on the phone with them. I'm actually not in Fort Worth anymore, so I don't need an extra lemonade, but thank you. Y'all good here, you know? Yeah, I
Starting point is 00:17:55 think that that is a nice one. Yeah. And it's just polite, and like I said, you don't have to do it, but if everyone started doing it, they'd be like, this is nice. I think it's nice. It's just a nice final, like, tick. Bye. If you came over for dinner, would you- I'd love to. Hypothetical.
Starting point is 00:18:18 Not an invitation. Thank you. Would you just finish your meal and just leave my house? No, I would do that. All right, better let you go. Cheers. Yeah, all right, bye. Better let you go, mate.
Starting point is 00:18:31 No, I'm actually good. No, I better let you go. Yeah, I'm like, oh, you told me I could stay over. Do you want to stay over? Oh, you couldn't because Pippa. Bring Pippa. Pippa and Mabes could bunk together. Now she's up and about, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:44 Yeah. Yeah, I'd love to come to dinner, though. Okay. Do you guys want to come to our- That was a soft no for the stay of the night. Oh, I just said Mabel and Pipps could bunk together. Pippa would love your big backyard, I reckon. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:58 Because she loves running around at the dog park. Yeah. I miss Pippa so much that I actually can't talk about it. Another thing that I think that Americans could take if they would so choose, something in Australia that I didn't know was weird, a bit like the thank you. Raccoons. I mean, free entertainment in the park.
Starting point is 00:19:20 Squirrels. Something that Americans could take from Australia from a safety perspective. I didn't know that Australia was weird for this. A loud pedestrian crossing. Yeah. I am really surprised. So, if anybody's ever listened to Billie Eilish, you'll probably know what I'm talking about.
Starting point is 00:19:39 This is like a viral story. But in Australia, when you hit a pedestrian crossing button and then the traffic stops, it kind of, it ticks as you wait and then when the light goes green for you to walk across, it goes... You're about to hear the audio queen. You're going to hear the button being pressed. You're going to hear the chill out wait ticks and then you're going to hear that all good start walking ticks.
Starting point is 00:20:05 Right. That wasn't that bad, actually. That was good. And when that second bit goes, you go, oh. When the happens. It's like someone's giving you a gentle nudge and you're like, oh, here we go. And we're off. Oh, and it kind of happens. It's like someone's giving you a gentle nudge and you're like, oh, here we go. And we're off.
Starting point is 00:20:29 Because if you're kind of like standing there and chatting or you're like you're on your like, because especially while we were in New York, we walked everywhere because like locals, you're like on your maps a lot kind of being like, oh, should I turn up here or whatever? And I was on my maps. And then like all of a, everyone just starts walking. It's like a mass exodus. Yeah. But there's no alert.
Starting point is 00:20:48 Like, the light just changes. And then you're like, hang on. And because the three, and you can tell the Australian are my way because we're standing there like fucking assholes. Yeah. Like, why aren't they leaving? Like, because the sound hasn't started yet. But the other thing is, is that people like, especially, again,
Starting point is 00:21:02 in New York, are fucking ruthless and they just start walking and everyone just beeps and it's like- What are they doing? What? Oh, they're walking in. Thank you. Sorry. I was like, what sound does that make?
Starting point is 00:21:17 People just start walking like even when the light is red and kind of you're not paying attention and you just go, oh, it's obviously- it hasn't. it's still read, like you're not supposed to walk yet. And people use their horns in like quite a kind way here. If you beeped in Australia, you'd be like, what's that guy's problem? So if Tony hears a beep, that's the birthplace of 0 to 100 Tony. Oh, and I'm just like, I did not do anything wrong. The beep could be from six blocks away. From six blocks away, not directed at Tony,
Starting point is 00:21:48 but anytime someone beeps in Tony's mind, she's like, what their fucking problem with me? Well, what have I done wrong? Because instantly I'm like, I've obviously cut someone off or I've walked to the wrong thing. Anyway, but people beep a lot here, which is a lot. It freaked you out when I was saying when I was in Malaysia and Thailand, the beep's just like, just letting you know I'm coming through. Coming through, beep, beep. All good. Just letting you know I'm here.
Starting point is 00:22:07 Here if you need. But it's a pip of the horn. It's not a honk. So it's a coming through, not a coming through. Yeah, but it's like you beep differently. It's like a pip, pip rather than like a, what are you doing? As weird as the last 30 seconds has probably sounded, I... Everyone will know.
Starting point is 00:22:27 Everyone, it makes sense? It does. It's actually hard to comprehend how much sense that makes. It's upsetting that a pip-pip makes a difference to a... Anyway, I think that a loud pedestrian... Did you consider naming your dog, huh? Or was just a lot of pip-pip? Does it go... Yeah. Did you want the French bulldog or the smoker's cough?
Starting point is 00:22:56 Apparently a woman can have both. You can have both. You can be hot and interesting. I think that would be a cool thing that Americans could use. Try it, yeah. It's handy. Yeah. Or does it just go to show how, like, dumb we are because we've become so accustomed to it?
Starting point is 00:23:11 But, I mean, it's good for the, like, visually impaired. It's like it, like, tells you that you're ready to cross the road. We also have the, like, I don't know what they're actually called, but, you know, have, like, the bumps on the ground, like, so that you feel it. Yeah. It's like. Technical speak. Yeah, I don't know what it's called.
Starting point is 00:23:26 I probably should know what that's called. But I think that would be really cool to implement. Compared to the USA, my favourite thing about Australia is having doors in public toilets that don't have a four-inch gap that you can walk between. If the little things turn to red, I trust that there's someone in there. I don't need you to show me a guy shitting to prove it's taken. Sounds like it's coming from a really personal place. Well, what's more personal than taking a shit with a guy staring at your soul? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:56 Your arsehole. Yeah. R.soul. Yeah. I actually agree with this. They are. You could drive a fucking truck through it. They're pip-pipping through, let me tell you.
Starting point is 00:24:08 Americans have, there's a door on this studio. There's a door on the front of houses. They know how they work. Yeah. They have, like, they have the infrastructure, apparently. They get doors. You know how you get into a car and you close the door and there's, like, not a gap? Like, they get it.
Starting point is 00:24:23 They get it, yeah. But, like, why do they forget that they get it when designing a public bathroom? I just don't know why a public toilet is cowboy world in terms of, like, gaps underneath and at the top. It's not that high. It comes up a bit at the bottom. It's basically like you're shitting in a wide belt. It is like that. People can see above.
Starting point is 00:24:44 They can see below. I'm like, you may as well just leave the door off. Why is that? I don't know, but I agree with you. There is like a large gap between the like jam, like the door jam and the actual thing. I think it was the Atlanta airport where I thought like, oh, this is a messy bathroom because someone's just thrown the toilet paper and it's like looped over the stall into the main bit. Yep. But then when I got in there, I realized someone had done it to cover the gap.
Starting point is 00:25:10 So, I was looped over the door filling in the three-inch gap between it. Must have been another tourist, like another Australian. It was an airport. They were like, well, I'm not having a bar of this. Yeah. Oh, and in an airport, like. International poops. I love the travel poops.
Starting point is 00:25:24 They're very real. They're real. They travel poops. They're very real. They're real. They're fucking real. They're very real. And so, being in an airport- They've been realer. An airport is like, you know, that meme and it's like, an airport is no man's land. Like, you're drinking at 10 a.m. and your tummy's all funny.
Starting point is 00:25:35 I think it's the same with the toilets. We experienced no man's land when we sat at a restaurant in the Chicago airport at 9.30 in the morning. Like, we're actually not doing breakfast anymore. What kind of spaghetti would you like? Yeah, and I hadn't had breakfast and I was like, I guess I'm ordering a pizza. And I was like, but do you have coffee?
Starting point is 00:25:51 He's like, oh, yeah. I'm like, okay, coffee and a pizza. That's interesting. Yeah, well, the guy on the table next to us, he didn't need convincing. He was like, right-o, champion, I'll get two pepperonis and a couple of lagers. Yeah, he's sitting there with a beer. Yeah, obviously on holiday time, which I love to see.
Starting point is 00:26:04 Yeah, I love to see that. But just some notes. Just some notes and friendly sharing, you know. The toilet doors, the pedestrian crossings, I think we can all learn from each other. Small coffees. I've got what you love to see to hear. Oh, great.
Starting point is 00:26:20 And thanks to Tapa Jess for bringing this to my attention. Hi, Tapa Jess. Thought Ryan, as a dad now, might appreciate this. And spoiler alert, he does. Oh. He does appreciate this. Okay, a bit of editorial from you. My old favourite thing on the internet was people selling mirrors on Marketplace.
Starting point is 00:26:36 Oh, yep. Now, this is like an oldie but a goodie. Dad's naming boats. I did this as a you loved to see it like two days ago. I thought you might have. It sounded familiar. And I said if I had a boat, I would call it the C word. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:53 Yeah, it is familiar. It is familiar. Thanks for coming to work today, bud. No, I wrote it down and I went, this does feel familiar. What were the other ones that you said? That's what I said. I would call a bonus if I had one. Can I just read out some and then I'll do a better
Starting point is 00:27:10 You Love To See It. This is just a bonus round. I'm glad that you listened to the things that I say. No, I did. It's really great. No, well, because Jess sent this to me and I was like, thank you, Jess. And then I read it and I was like, this is familiar.
Starting point is 00:27:25 Maybe it's like hit my algorithm. Like I knew I knew it from me and I was like, thank you, Jess. And then I read it and I was like, this is familiar. Maybe it's like hit my algorithm. Like I knew I knew it from someplace and I'm embarrassed that it was you. Your job. Yeah. One of them was called fishizzle. I don't get it. Fish. Like it's a fishing boat.
Starting point is 00:27:38 Oh, fish. Oh, right. Yeah. It just occurred to me that a lot of these puns are like spelling based and you can't see them. Including peer pressure. That's good. Aquaholic.
Starting point is 00:27:50 Oh, yep. And feeling naughty. That's good. I like that. Yeah. I guess I'll go fuck myself. I got another one here. This is the real one.
Starting point is 00:28:01 It's from Chloe. Oh, videos of dads who didn't want dogs that now love the dogs. Is that the You Love To See It that you have? Nope. Oh. Why did you also do that last week? No, but I've got it. My You Love To See It is also from Chloe.
Starting point is 00:28:16 Chloe Eldridge? Yeah. So you just said no, it's not the same one, but it is. Yeah, because I got scared that you did that one last week as well. Oh, no. Okay, let me just keep scrolling. No, no, this is fine because this is a very good one and a lot of dad gear, which I love.
Starting point is 00:28:29 Oh, no, here it is. Here it is. No, here's my real one. I was just tricking you. Message from Hannah Hawes. Anyone? You're all good. What's Austin Powers like by name and reputation?
Starting point is 00:28:48 I also like to live dangerously I suggest you hit So you have seven I suggest you hit Fourteen, the house we're in Unfortunately, you are not allowed to film in casinos in Vegas because you would see some of the worst Austin Powers interpretations and Tony just donating money to the casinos in the name of comedy.
Starting point is 00:29:13 For the comedy, yeah. It would have to be Austin Powers and The Hangover as well, like both of them, yeah. Hannah Hawes. I just called to book in a blood test and I said, oh, you know, do I need to bring anything? And the lovely receptionist goes, just your arms will be fine. It always helps if you have those.
Starting point is 00:29:32 I also did this one last week. Are you joking? No. Are you joking? Have you just read my prep? No, that was also a fake one. Okay, no, we can stop now. No, no, no, here's my real one.
Starting point is 00:29:44 What's in the coffee? What is in the... I haven't drank a lot of coffee on this trip. I'm all buzzed up. Fuck me. Do you listen to anything that I say? No, I'm genuinely interested to know whether I say anything that you actually listen to. No, it just means we've got similar senses of humour.
Starting point is 00:30:04 Like a little throwback. You know how we do best of sometimes? Yeah. This week, my love to see it, best of Tony's love to see it. Fuck, I reckon you might know this. I probably said it. Yeah, you probably did. And this is my, like, I'm going to have to,
Starting point is 00:30:23 this is more my love to see it for the week. Hey, Cam, just a note., this is more why I love to see it's for the week. Hey, Cam, just a note. Can you post a new you love to see it thread in the Facebook group? Do you know the thing about Jersey Shore? No. Thank fucking God for that. You're a Jersey Shore fan, right?
Starting point is 00:30:38 I am. Yeah. Fun fact. Yeah. Because of translations and things are named different things in different countries. Totally. In Japan, it's called Macaroni Rascals. That's what it's called.
Starting point is 00:30:55 Why is it called that? You know, sometimes the Australian name is just like different. Macaroni Rascals. Obviously they've, Jersey Shore. What is it? Jersey Shore. Yeah, maybe it doesn't translate well. And they went, oh, they're Italian-ish, so let's call them Macaroni. And they're a bunch of rascals, so let's just call it that.
Starting point is 00:31:16 And that's what it's called. I do love to see that. That's so funny. And wouldn't you, if you were in the cast and it was a hell-hot photo of you, but then underneath it's like, Tony from Macaroni Rascals. Do you remember The Little Rascal? Yeah. Great movie.
Starting point is 00:31:31 Little Rascal's great movie. With Alfalfa. I got two because I got two because I got two because hey, hey, hey, hey. Yeah. Wrong sign, porky. Well, my love to say it was Chloe. Videos of dads who didn't want the dogs but now love the dogs. You love to see it.
Starting point is 00:31:47 Those videos get me every time. All right. Well, we've done about 25. You love to see it. You love to see that. I'm going to need an extra hour's prep before we... Yeah, I thought so. Thank you so much for listening.
Starting point is 00:32:03 What are we doing tomorrow? Oh, sorry. I'm flapped. That's usually what I do. No Oh, sorry. I'm flapped. That's usually what I do. No, I know. I'm flapped too. I've got beef. And Tony's been scammed.
Starting point is 00:32:12 Oh, man. Well, has she been scammed or is Tony a fuckhead? You decide. Who's the fuckhead, actually? You decide. That's coming up tomorrow. And some fresh, you love to see it. We'll be the judge of that tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Love you. Bye. Fresh, you'll love to see it. We'll be the judge of that tomorrow. Love you, bye.

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