Too Scary; Didn't Watch - 30 DAYS OF NIGHT with Eugene Cordero
Episode Date: March 11, 2020A top cop, a muffin monster, and Danny Huston giving an incredible performance as a vampire who can play records with his fingernail - we're recapping 30 Days of Night! Eugene Cordero (Tacoma... FD, Golden Arm) joins us to talk about our very first vampire horror movie and explains how it uses the whole buffalo. Tune in to find out if Henley's eyes are stronger than her heart. Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch.
Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for
those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily, and I am too scared to watch scary
movies. I'm Henley, and I'm too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily and I am too scared to watch scary movies.
I'm Henley and I'm too scared to watch scary movies.
I'm Sammy and I like watching scary movies and I like telling my friends about them.
She does.
She's obsessed with them.
Did anything scary happen to us this week?
I took a 12 hour flight this week um and at with my fiance tim and at the end of the flight in the last two
hours i turned and look at tim and tim was gray like his face had turned from a healthy natural
flushed um complexion to literally white as a like so pale and um then he proceeded to have very severe food poisoning oh for the last
two hours of the flight oh did he throw up on the plane multiple times oh god he had eaten something
in the airport before we left and then it set in like you know 10 hours in and then um in our uber
on the way home and you know the opening of la La Land where they do that whole like choreographed dance.
Yeah.
I think that's the 110 ramp, right?
Yeah, I think so.
Well, that's where we pulled over.
Oh, no.
It was horrible.
Oh, my God.
It was really, really bad.
And luckily, you didn't have a fever.
So I don't think it was coronavirus.
But I bet everyone on that flight with you was really anxious. But that's not even really a symptom of coronavirus. I was going to say, I don't think vomiting is part of it. See, I don't have a fever, so I don't think it was coronavirus. But I bet everyone on that flight with you was really anxious.
But that's not even really a symptom of coronavirus.
I was going to say, I don't think vomiting is part of it.
See, I don't know.
I'm part of the problem.
I would just think that it is.
No, it's not.
And so, but nonetheless, it was horrible.
And I hope that never happens to anyone I know.
Because it was really bad.
Oh, that's so awful.
I'm so sorry.
What about you guys?
Oh, boy.
That's so awful.
I'm so sorry.
What about you guys?
Oh, boy.
I, Henley, this is not to make you feel bad, but I got very overwhelmed with planning bachelorette parties because I was planning three at once.
That's too many.
And I was in like six different thread, text threads of like buying shit and planning shit.
And I had to take a Xanax.
I had a full panic attack.
Oh, you did?
I'm so sorry. It's okay. You have too
many friends. I have too many friends. She's too loved.
And here's the thing. I'm really excited for all of them.
It just was like too much at once and I really freaked
out. Oh, God. I don't blame you.
That's a lot of planning. Well, I appreciate
your help. Thank you. I'm really looking
forward to all of these events is the
silver lining. But mine is the silver lining.
Mine the most though, right? Yours the most. Definitely.
And to my
other friends that also listen to this podcast. Also, there's the most. Also, there's the most.
They don't matter, Sandy. All of them the most. What about you, Emily? So I feel like there's a
lot of scary. There are a lot of scary things happening right now in this week in particular
in the world. And I just have been really anxious and scared but i'm not going to talk about that what i'm going to talk about is that um my landlord discovered a
beehive outside of my apartment um and texted me to say there were people coming to take care of
the beehive just so you know it'll be between these and these hours i was at work and so i
came home and i i have i usually keep my door with the screen shut and like some windows open.
So I came home and I shut everything.
So I'm hanging out and sitting and I my cat starts sort of chasing after something.
And I knew, OK, a bee got in.
And so I got her away from the bee and I put in a little cup and a paper and put it outside.
Sit back down.
She's meowing.
She's in another room.
It's not the bee.
And I'm thinking, oh, my gosh, look, she's really going after these bees good for her um and then
for the next hour i proceeded to take about 40 to 50 bees out of my apartment oh no um and it kept
happening and i was like what the fuck is how is is this... All the doors were shut. They were gone.
How is this even possible?
So I stayed in that room for a little while to see if I could see where they were coming from.
And opened a closet.
And around an outlet that must have been replaced at some point, there was a hole.
And they were all coming in through that hole.
So many bees.
I can't even...
It was so many bees. It was so many bees.
It was so many bees.
And I was certain it was never going to end.
I did eventually duct tape around that outlet.
And then they didn't come in anymore.
But there are a lot of dead bees.
There are a lot of dead bees trapped inside my closet.
And, you know, it's not good to have a beehive outside of my apartment.
But it wasn't a problem for me until they did something about it.
And then I had bees inside my apartment.
It's not okay.
Anyway, so I dealt with a lot of bees.
It sounds stressful.
Let's all soothe our nerves with a very relaxing film.
I can't wait.
What film is that, Sammy?
This week's film is 30 Days of Night.
is that sammy this week's film is 30 days of night it came out in 2007 directed by david slade who also directed hard candy and twilight eclipse guys another another vampire i'm sorry which one
in the order is that second one third third one okay okay yeah we recently watched all that for
those listening i recently watched all the twilight films for the first time. Huge fan.
We loved them.
We loved them.
Written by Steve Niles, Stuart Beattie, Brian Nelson, based on a comic written by Steve Niles and Ben Templesmith, starring Josh Hartnett, Melissa George, Danny Houston, Ben Foster, and Mark Boone Jr.
Melissa George, Danny Houston, Ben Foster, and Mark Boone Jr.
Well, here to talk to us about this film is an actor, a comedian, a lovely person,
a fourth, we just learned, Eugene Cordero.
Hi.
The fourth. Hello, Eugene.
Eugene Cordero the fourth.
The fourth.
Please.
That's what I do.
That's my full title.
That's what I go by now, yeah.
Hi, slate your name, Eugene Cordero the fourth. Want to That's what I do. Use my full title. That's what I go by now. Isolate your name.
Eugene Cordero the fourth.
Want to highlight that?
Perfect.
Eugene, did anything scary happen to you this week?
I got LASIK done.
Oh my gosh.
No.
I really would love to get LASIK, but I'm very blind.
I don't think I can.
I think you can, but it's scary.
Yeah, it seems scary. You're awake during it but it's scary yeah it seems scary you're awake
because you're awake the whole time right tell you about it and they show you a video of them
using a later flipping your eyelid I mean I ball open oh and then shooting another laser and
and then flipping your eyeball back and then that's it. So it's not that long,
but it was scary because they flip your,
you see them flip your eye and you're looking at this light and then they
flip your eye.
Jenna's catatonic.
And then you're looking at another light and you smell burning.
Oh my God.
You smell burning,
which means there's something they They're burning your face.
Your eyes. And then they flip it back
and then you can see.
Immediately? Immediately. And then they
put this foggy juice on you and then you can't
again. Foggy juice? I called it
foggy juice.
I don't think that's
a good term for it. But is it really working?
Well, foggy juice? Yeah.
That's what this is.
Yeah, it sounds like a rapper's drink.
Yeah.
Foggy Juice.
Hey, man.
It's my tour.
It's 2020 tour.
Check me out this summer.
Foggy Juice.
Talk to my son Wes until it gets canceled.
I'll be there.
Until coronavirus shuts it down.
Yeah.
Wow.
But yes, so that was scary.
That's horrific.
But great, but it works.
Yeah.
Also, I reach, I'm like, oh, my contacts are itchy.
I should take these out of my, oh no, these are my eyes.
Whoa, that's so crazy.
It's nice to wake up.
I'm sure it's nice to wake up and just be able to see.
Yeah, it was great.
I haven't been able to do that in my entire life.
But my wife picked me up from that
um from my appointment I mean from my surgery and um and that night my eyes were painful and
burning oh but we had to go I there was a um Nick and Jessica Jessica Simpson's old reality show oh
I remember that episode she did likeic and they go to Red Robin.
Yeah.
And eat burgers.
So did you go to Red Robin?
She had to take me there.
We had to do.
That's amazing.
I had to do all of the lines that are like funny to her.
What does she say?
Does she say anything?
She goes, did I put too much ketchup
and there's a mound of ketchup on that thing?
So I had to do that.
And I had to like read the menu very straight.
So you had to play a part.
Yeah.
After your surgery. My eyes were bleeding i think oh my god did i put too much ketchup i had fucky juice
it was all fine that's a big one that's a good one that's a good scary thing to have happened
big week big week big week well speaking of of scary experiences, do you like scary movies?
I love scary movies.
Yes.
I love them.
I hated them as a youth, but I was afraid of Freddy Krueger.
Yeah, sure.
Because he attacks you in your fucking nightmares.
In your dreams.
Yeah, that was terrifying.
Oh, no.
It's so bad.
So it was just a scary thing.
You couldn't escape it. So then I was just like, no, I can't do this.
And I used to love
Thriller, the song,
by the artists we're not
allowed to listen to.
But
Vincent Price's
part where he starts just talking,
I would have to run upstairs
and away from that room
but you don't dance during a fucking monologue
nobody's dancing then everybody's just being spooks that's spooks time and i'm not gonna
be part of it and i won't be here for that But my shoulder's going up and I'm clapping over my head moments later.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So,
but I eventually people were started loving,
like my cousins and stuff would love getting together on a night and watch
these movies.
And the idea of that was so much more fun than me being the one that was,
that was scared that i started enjoying
it and enjoyed being scared because it was kind of like social pressure yeah got you yeah these
are so communal yeah yeah and people would scream and then i got even more into it as an adult
because my wife um loves scary movies as well, but is a big screamer.
That's fun to watch.
It's so fun.
And a bunch of us go to almost every scary movie that comes out,
and everybody wants to sit next to my wife.
That's great.
Because she's going to react to Vegas.
Come on!
I love it.
And everybody is having a blast. And I would check in and be like, are you okay? because she'll be just like come on and then
and everybody
is having a blast
and she's having
and I would check in
and be like
are you okay
and she's like
no yeah of course
what
shut up
yeah
we're having fun
let me be in it
that is such a
that's one of my favorite reactions
to a scary movie
is the scream
and the like
ah you made me scream
like the like
anger at the reaction
was really fun so good I feel like Emily you have pretty made me scream. Like the like anger at the reaction was really fun.
So good.
I feel like Emily,
you have pretty good strong reactions
just to the trailers that we watched together.
I can't help it.
I know.
Yeah.
I am very scared.
Scares.
Very emotive.
Do you have a scariest movie you've ever seen?
There's movies that I won't watch.
What are those?
I mean, I won't watch Midsommar Summer.
That was the first episode of this podcast.
Oh, it was? I won't watch it because
I'm already scared of white people
during the day.
So it's not like you need to
also
show me something that...
I get it. I'm correct.
They're fucking scared.
It's a movie about how I'm right.
So if I go to a field where you guys are having a party, something might happen to me.
I knew that.
I won't feel safe here.
I get it.
I get it.
I get it.
You have a different party than I do.
It's a movie about a different party.
I'm trying to think of the scariest.
The idea of the movie
The Strangers.
Is that the one
where they come at them
in a vacation home
or something?
Yeah, where they just like
and there's no reason for it.
They're just like,
we're going to kill you.
They're just like,
hey, let's walk into this house.
That's so scary.
It's unfair.
I don't like that.
I don't like that one little bit.
Yeah, no, that's not.
Yeah, there's no reason.
Like if there's like
a serial killer,
I'd lose them.
But great.
Let me see it.
Like Halloween or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, great. Let me see it. Like Halloween or something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I get it.
I get it.
Tell me why it happened.
I'm on his side.
I can empathize.
I'm building empathy.
I'm building empathy.
He had a hard childhood.
I feel it.
We get it.
Yes.
We get it.
We get it.
The omen.
Yeah.
The kid was in the wrong bedroom, but I get it.
I get it.
And that's enough.
That's enough.
What's the name of the
um one where they go splunking splunking the descent baby that shit is scary as shit i remember
that movie being one of the scariest ones just because the way they did like claustrophobic
moments were so good like horrible i can't wait till we do the dissent on this podcast because I've been hearing Sammy and Jenna
talk about the dissent for
honestly years now.
But this is one that you will all watch, right?
No. The dissent?
Yes. No, there's no way
in hell. No, but you have to.
If you're going to do it,
and you need to record
it while you're watching.
Wait, Silent Jenna's giving two watching them wait this has to be giving two thumbs up
this has to be i think you have to you have to get the fans of the podcast to reach out and have
you guys do a two-hour live stream i don't even know i think a live stream would be great it's
not a bad idea honestly i want to oh god this be a my eyes are bigger than my stomach situation, but I want to.
Which is a metaphor I love using with watching movies.
My eyes are bigger than my stomach.
There's no better way to say it.
I was about to destroy this whole movie.
Can someone come up with a better metaphor?
Can someone come up with a better metaphor?
You're biting off more than you can chew. Come up with a better metaphor. Can someone come up with a better metaphor? My...
You're biting off more than you can chew.
Same sort of thing.
Same sort of thing, but also food.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I like eyes are bigger than...
Yeah, I like my eyes are bigger than my stomach.
My eyes are bigger than my brain.
My eyes are stronger than my heart.
We're going to copyright some of these.
Something like this.
My eyes are stronger.
That's a t-shirt.
Than my heart.
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Campari, three quarters an ounce of sweet vermouth, and three quarters an ounce of gin, three quarters an ounce of Campari, three quarters an ounce of sweet vermouth and three quarters an ounce of blood orange juice.
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You will stir all ingredients with ice and garnish with a blood orange slice.
Cheers.
Yeah. OK, so tell me about this movie, Sammy.
What have you got?
Because I know...
Oh, gosh.
I don't have much trivia.
I know that it was shot in New Zealand,
which surprised me.
It is set in Alaska, northern Alaska.
Those are different.
And this story was originally...
Steve Niles, the writer,
pitched it as a film for a while and was rejected a lot and so wrote it into a comic book.
Smart.
And then-
You hear that, people?
Hear that?
Comics.
Yeah.
And then one of the studios that rejected him were like, wait, what's this comic?
And turned it into a movie.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
I never heard that work around, but that sounds-
A little roundabout way to get it done sure
interesting put the middleman back in yeah
that's the secret an extra step i have a bunch of rom-com ideas that i can't wait to turn into
comics hell yeah amazing um and the vampires in this movie speak a completely original language created for the film with the help of a linguistics professor at a New Zealand university.
Oh, that's why they went.
I'm sure the payoff for that was huge, right?
You know what?
It was off-putting.
The language they speak in, it feels like something we should know, but scary enough
that you're like, I shouldn't know this.
Okay.
So it does actually work.
It was worth it.
I think it was worth it.
And I would say the sound design mixes with their voices and screams a lot and music.
It kind of blends together.
The sound design in this is really, really great.
But also the language.
Can we talk about the parts of the movie already or no?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, let's do it.
All right.
My favorite line and a line that I quote all the time from this movie
is because these vampires speak this other language,
there's only one moment where they speak English,
or there's a couple of small moments,
but one main moment where they
do speak English and it's terrifying
so I think that's
why that would be so jarring to you all
of a sudden yeah then you're like oh they
understand choosing to
speak in a language they're significantly
smarter than us yeah are we
gonna watch the trailer I think I'm gonna watch the trailer
I wanna watch the goddamn
trailer Are we going to watch the trailer? I think we're going to watch the trailer. Let's watch the trailer. I want to watch the goddamn trailer.
Somebody!
Help! Help!
I saw them.
They're decent.
Do we...
Vampires here?
Vampires don't exist, Jake.
That cold ain't the weather.
That's death approaching.
We're tearing through everyone's home.
We can last a month.
Okay, wow.
Oh, I am really excited to hear about this movie.
That trailer was like, especially the music,
it was like very rock and roll.
Oh, yeah. It's very 2007.
Yes.
Like rap rock. very 2007. Yes. Like rap rock.
Rap rock.
Yes.
I could tell by the fashion choices that were made.
There were a lot of baggy long pants.
Oh, yeah.
It was nice.
And Josh Hartnett.
And Josh Hartnett.
Just nice stovepipe pants.
Yeah.
It just goes straight down.
You don't know where the knee is.
You just know that it bends.
It starts at a hip, it ends at a foot.
What's happening in between?
The rest is just pants.
Oh, my legs, they're pants.
And it also, it looked almost, I guess because it takes place at night, but it all looked
almost like black and white the whole movie.
It looked like there was a lot of color in it.
It was blue and the blood all looked very black.
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give it give us some uh uh context we're in barrow alaska okay northernmost town in alaska in the u.s is that real um do we
know i think the place is real but they've filmed in new zealand so got it got it got it so what we
see is not correct really yeah um so yeah it just it starts with um telling us that we're isolated
80 miles away from anything else yeah cut off every winter for 30
days of night and this is a real thing that happens and it's fucking terrifying and what a
great place to set a horror film oh absolutely about vampires especially especially about these
yeah we start with seeing um ben foster who is great in everything jenna and i were like he's so fucking good yeah all the time anyways he's um looking out
at an abandoned ship um for the vessel heads out there and sammy loves ships and i'm like are we
getting into a vessel film here we're not but i was excited to see one nonetheless is there a lot
of vessel heads that listen to this podcast i don didn't even know Vesselhead. We coined Vesselhead.
We're trying to build a movement.
Vesselheads.
Not me, us.
Vesselheads.
My eyes are bigger than my heart.
Sammy has a thing for ships.
Let's just say that.
Vesselheads.
Vesselheads.
Yeah, I'm a Vesselhead.
Trying to create a very specific community.
Hashtag Vesselhead. heads vessel heads yeah i'm trying to create a very specific community yeah hashtag vessel head um and he is wild looking his teeth are crazy ben foster he's on his own he's looking like he's up
to no good yes then we see josh hartnett who i watched the entire movie assuming his name was Evan. It's not. It's Eben with a B.
What?
Okay.
Did you know this?
I did not know that.
Wait.
Who calls him Eben correctly?
Everybody.
Because I scrolled through.
I like went through it again today to like take notes.
And they're all saying Eben.
And it just sounds.
I just assumed they were saying Eben.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For a short time.
For Ebenezer?
Like that's not a name. Yeah. I don't know. But it really threw me. I was like, wait, what? I do were saying Eben for short for Ebenezer. That's not a name.
I don't know, but it really threw me. I was like,
wait, what? I do know an Eben.
I know an Eben too, actually.
Is it short for something?
I don't know. I don't know.
I would be crazy if it was short for Ebenezer.
It'd be crazy if it weren't.
Can you imagine?
Anyway, okay.
So Eben. I had never heard the name before
I think you can just call him Josh Hartnett
throughout this
or Josh
Josh
Jobs
Jobs
Jobs
okay so what's he doing
we start with him and Billy
they're cops
and they find a pile of
cell phones
that have been burned.
And they're like,
this is weird.
That's it.
A little bit of a great joke of like,
huh, your roaming charges
joke or something.
Someone must have been real mad about those roaming charges.
I remember it being like a very like, okay okay we're getting the comedy out with the partner this is their vibe
yeah this is their vibe there might be some hijinks throughout no no no i think that's
where it starts is that the is that the fun and games portion i think that actor gets fired after
that scene okay it wasn't in the script.
He ripped and he got fired.
Hey, man, do me a favor.
But they kept it in.
It's a horror movie.
I know you're local.
Know the movie, my friend.
Yeah, don't pepper in your own thing.
It's based off a comic book, right?
Those are funnies.
Funny pages.
The funnies.
The funny pages.
They're going around town and kind of shutting things down because a lot of people leave this town for the 30 days um as you should yeah and so they change the population of the
town sign and he's like why are you doing that nobody cares and he's like it's tradition and
he changes it from like 500 to like 120 because i guess most people leave is the implication that
the vampires come every year are we gonna get to get to that? Sorry, am I jumping ahead?
We'll get to it.
And actually, I'm not.
They go somewhere every year for sure.
Not always this town.
No, I don't think it's this town.
It's not this town.
Somewhere in Alaska.
Yeah.
Because they know that.
So you don't really know when they're going to come for you.
Right.
Well, they don't know any.
There's not even any.
Well, they burn the cell phones.
Yes.
So they're not communicating.
Right. know any there's not even any well they burn the cell phones yes so they're not communicating right
um so then we meet stella who is um the fire marshal and that we get some info that she's
separated from ebben yeah josh hartnett yeah yeah josh like marriage separated yes and they're like
like she's talking to someone are you ever gonna tell me what's going on with you and ebben and
like why aren't you guys speaking and she's like no i gotta get out of
here i gotta make sure i'm like not here for these 30 days like i'm leaving right um and
then we see a shot of some huskies and it's like uh 10 dogs you guys know how dogs fair
and horror films yeah this isn't gonna be good for them. Right, right, right, right. All ten of these dogs die
instantly. Instantly? It's wild. It's
just like a shot of a knife and all the
dogs get stabbed to death right off, right
out the gate. It's really crazy.
Why aren't they getting eaten alive?
I guess the dogs can fight back. I think, you know
what? You know what I think it is? I think it's
so that the dogs don't, like, alert
the humans to their
So maybe they don't want dog blood to eat.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We better shut these dogs up.
Yeah, yeah.
Then we're seeing Eben going around town.
Oh, sweet Eben.
Everyone likes him.
Everyone loves him.
Well, there's one guy that's kind of...
His name is Bo,
and he gives him a parking ticket or something.
Sure his name's not Vo?
Yeah, it's Bo. Who knows? Who knows? Anything goes right now. Sure his name's not Vo. Yeah it's Vo. Who knows.
Anything goes right now. It's Eben and Vo.
Eben and Vo. Yeah.
It gives him a ticket. Bo's I don't know
what do we call him curmudgeon-y? Yes.
Like a
grumpy man that lives further out of town.
So he's like if I give him a ticket it'll make him feel more a part
of the town. Which is like what?
Oh Eben. Yeah.
And then Stella is driving to the airport
she's got to make it before this last plane or she's stuck here for 30 days she will be i bet
and the fucking emily what the fuck sorry the craziest truck that has like a blade saw what
is this truck um it's like it feels like a different movie.
For a moment.
It's like Final Destination for a second.
Okay.
There's a couple of moments in the movie where you're like, just to get to the movie.
Yeah.
Like, thinking of the, kniving the wolves with the phones and all that stuff.
Like, to just kind of like pepper in what's happening.
Uh-huh.
Is like, kind of huge.
They couldn't figure out another way to do it.
So like,
I don't know,
a huge crazy car.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's as if it has an enormous chainsaw in the front of it.
It looks extremely dangerous.
It's like mad.
Matt.
It's a mad man.
Yes.
It's so insane.
And it crashes right into her car.
Okay.
And it's pretty scary.
Jump scare.
I jumped on purpose.
I was holding hot tea. I almost spilled it. Oh my gosh. Well, that's brave. Yeah. I mean, it's pretty scary. Jump scare. I jumped. On purpose? I was holding hot tea.
I almost spilled it.
Oh my gosh.
Well, that's brave.
Yeah, I mean,
that's how you watch a horror movie.
Piping hot tea.
Piping hot tea.
Seriously holding a mug of hot tea.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Something campy.
Some meal tea.
Something in the oven
that needs to go out immediately.
Like all of these things
are perfect for a horror movie.
Yeah, it's perfect.
Wait, does it run into her on purpose?
Do we know?
No, it's like a townsperson.
He's like, oh my God, I'm so sorry.
I'll call my mom.
She can come drive you.
And then she's like, but you know, she's pretty slow.
And so she calls Eben.
It's a tense phone call.
She's like, I need a ride to the airport.
And we can talk if you want on the way to the airport.
And he calls his friend Billy. Billy, by the the way has the whitest teeth in the world good for billy yeah yeah yeah
way before any of this um congrats yeah and eban just like says billy can you go get stella like
i'm not driving her um so stella she does miss her flight she does she does miss it wow and it's not coming
billy's like you can stay with uh me and my wife and the price will be you have to tell us what
happened between you and eban yeah um eban is back back at the station we meet his brother and
his grandmother um so he's a local he's a local he's staying there for the winter he's
yeah and because he's a cop um he's one of the cops that has to stay i feel like he might be
like what is the head cop sheriff yeah yeah i think he's the vessel head of the he seems too
young to be the sheriff so young yeah yeah young pope young sheriff it's all in there um and so then uh his grandma who's
in the playstation says there's a been on call of vandalism and he goes to this like plant to
check out this vandalism and there we meet wilson just a lot of characters in this movie. We meet Wilson, who's mad about his...
Someone has destroyed his helicopter.
Yep.
And the parts have been thrown into what they refer to as a muffin monster,
which is essentially like a wood chipper, but like a metal chipper.
It's like a really intense blade thing.
Oh, no, I don't like this.
Like a garbage disposal for metal. But it's huge. It's enormous. And a really intense blade thing. Oh, no. I don't like this. Like a garbage disposal for metal.
But it's huge.
It's enormous.
And it looks like big teeth.
Oh, no.
You know.
Oh, no.
It looks like a Saw movie weapon.
Torture device.
Got it.
Got it.
Yeah.
Oh, nothing.
Chekhov's muffin monster.
Yeah, Chekhov's muffin monster.
We all know it.
You've seen it a million times.
The muffin monster.
You hate to see it.
But yeah, so again, it establishes like, oh, you can't get out of here because of the helicopter
and it just so happens.
There's also a big muffin monster.
Then there's a muffin monster.
One truck, no more flights.
No cell phones.
No cell phones.
Then we go to the electric plant and the man that's like manning the security cameras or
whatever, does power go out or something?
And he's like, goes outside with flashlight.
This is a scene in the trailer and you see kind of people moving behind him.
Shadows around him.
Shadows.
And then all of a sudden he's surrounded.
He's like, who are, what's going on?
Who are you people?
Which is what you see in the trailer.
And then they lunge at him and you see them bite his neck.
Yes.
Very violently.
And they have a lot of sharp teeth.
A lot.
Like shark teeth almost.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They got shark mouths.
They're not sexy vampires.
They're not.
No, no, no.
Then we go to the diner and the strangers, the strangers, what they call him, Ben Foster's
character is like sitting at the bar
being real creepy and he's like i'll get like a whiskey or whatever and um they're like we don't
have alcohol during this time because like it's hard enough without or like without alcohol what
it's hard enough to not have alcohol i was enraged as well yeah Yeah. Yeah. Excuse me? She threw her hot tea because of it.
That seems unrealistic.
It's constantly night and we aren't drinking?
I know.
Yeah.
Torture.
Yikes.
Okay.
And so then he says, all right.
What is his accent?
I can't remember it, but it's good.
Yeah.
It's McConaughey.
It is kind of McConaughey.
It's McConaughey.
It's like, I'll take some raw hamburger meat then.
Get me some raw hamburger meat.
Ew.
And Josh Hartnett walks in and is like, all right, buddy, let's settle down.
You're creeping everybody out.
What's the deal?
Yeah.
And they get in kind of a little standoff.
And he's like, let me take you down to the station.
And Ben Foster kind of gets in his face.
And then Stella pops up behind and puts a gun to his head,
the stranger's head, and is like,
no, you're going to want to do what he says.
And then they together escort him back to the police station.
And then on the drive there, she's like,
my car got wrecked by the crazy chainsaw truck thing.
And he's like, yeah, it's been a hell of a day.
And in the backseat, seat he goes just you wait so he knows yeah how does he know whatever i don't need to know
that we'll find out maybe or we won't i don't know i think we will we do cool um so back at the
police station they're kind of trying to figure out where he came from
they're like you didn't get here on a plane
he has a different accent
I bet this is a town that doesn't
see a lot of visitors
not during this time especially
so they can't figure out where he's from
they put him in a jail cell
yeah they put him in a cell because they don't know
where he's from
what do we do with you
okay so we see him in the trailer.
He's very trusting.
The little tiny cell.
Yes.
Yeah.
We get some info that grandma has been growing pot because she has cancer.
He finds pot on his little brother and is like, what the heck?
And he's like, it's grandma.
It helps her with her cancer.
That'll come back.
Thank you. Yeah. It's a movie about weed yeah this is actually a stoner yeah yeah yeah hell yeah it's so scary what happens um and then like phone lines are down
and is the power out the power power, I think, goes out.
Maybe they have backup generators, so it's just that the phones are down.
I can't totally remember.
Okay.
But they get some...
For some reason, he needs to go to check on Gus's...
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Something seems off.
Oh, yeah, the backup generator pops on.
Yeah, so he's like, let me go check out what happened.
Drives on out there.
And Gus's head is on a spike.
Decapitated head.
Wait, who was Gus again?
The power guy. He got eaten.
We saw him get bitten in the neck.
Gus is the power guy.
Oh, no.
They put his head on a spike.
They put his head on a spike.
They have a message.
Yeah.
So they're not hiding.
They're like.
They're saying we're here now.
We're here now.
Oh, and sorry.
Before that happened, the stranger
Ben Foster has a good little
line or monologue type thing
where he goes, he's like laying down
saying creepy weird shit. He
says, check on
Gus. We'll board the
windows, try to hide.
They're coming. So he even knew
this fucking guy's name.
Well, they said it. They're like, we're going to go check on this.
Oh, and he was like, we're going to do it.
And he says, this time they're coming,
and this time they're going to take me with them.
For all that I have done.
Is he like a big fan freak of these vampires?
He's a fan freak.
Ew.
Yeah, he's a fan freak.
Oh, I don't like that one little bit.
So he's on their side.
He thinks they're going to give him something.
What could they possibly give him?
Immortality.
I don't think they can do that.
They're going to eat him, obviously.
Maybe they can.
Yeah.
We'll see.
We'll see.
Eben is obviously very disturbed by this head on a spike.
He's driving around telling everyone, go inside.
If you have a generator, go inside.
If you don't have a generator, meet in the diner.
I don't know what's going on.
Everybody stay inside.
And goes back to the station.
Oh, no.
First, we see the couple who had their dogs were killed.
All the huskies were theirs.
And they're in there.
Oh, it's a personal husky.
That's sad.
It was like all, yes.
It wasn't a wild pack of huskies.
No.
They were on personal huskies. No. Personal huskies.
Personal huskies.
And they're in their
house and
Vampire jumps right through the window.
We see this in the trailer.
This is in the trailer.
Already upset that their huskies
have all been stabbed.
They're already having a bad time.
If it was one husky you'd have like
a bad lunch.
Ten huskies.
Multiply that by ten.
Yeah.
Got ten dead huskies.
Yeah.
It's bad.
It's bad.
And a dead wife now.
About to be a dead wife.
She gets snatched
right out of the window
and pulled under the
like crawl space
under the houses.
I don't think we see
either of them really die
but you get the idea. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. either of them really die, but you get the idea.
Yes, yeah.
Okay.
You see them getting pulled into the darkness, basically.
Yes.
That's not good.
Then we're back in the station.
Eben's brother, I think his name is Jake,
and the grandmother and Stella
are there playing like a board game.
And the stranger in the cell is like taunting them.
And the brother throws a piece at him and he says thank you for throwing me that plastic piece i'll be able to use it to like break out
of here and the brother like panics and goes to like run to grab it and he grabs the brother by
the neck against the uh bars Like a pull-in situation.
Yeah, and he's like strangling him.
And then Josh Hartnett walks in, just in the nick of time, shoots him in the shoulder.
Oh, fuck.
And then walks into his cell and handcuffs him up to the bars.
And this man was arrested for being weird, yes?
Yeah.
I think he has no crime at this point.
At this point, he just has weird teeth.
He's now been shot on his handcuff.
Cool, cool, cool.
I mean, to be fair, he did grab-
I guess strangling a child.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's probably a crime.
Okay, great, great, great, great.
I mean, I don't think they're wrong, but-
Right.
You know, in the eyes of the law.
Yeah.
Alaskan law is a little different.
Especially Alaskan New Zealand law.
It's a little different.
I'm sure they've got their own set of principles.
Yeah.
So do they have any idea what's going on at this point?
Are they asking questions?
I mean, like, is anyone like, why did Gus's head end up on a stake?
Is that like a question?
I kind of like that about this movie.
It doesn't really take too much time to explain anything to you. No. They're just like, oh,
we're in it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, at
that point, they're just like, what? Josh
Ebbin is just like, what's going on with this head?
This is messed up. We've got
this weirdo in this cell.
So it does kind of set up like
as an audience member, you
know that they're vampires. Of course. Yes.
But I think in that world,
maybe Josh Hartnett's
performance isn't like this let us know this yet but it feels like maybe it's just like a bunch of
punk like like just guys like him right like a stranger guy right as far as he knows these are
just some freaks it's not nothing supernatural right yeah this is so it hasn't fully passed
that line yet we haven't seen the eye.
I don't think we've seen how crazy they look.
I don't think Josh Hartnett
has seen what they look like yet.
Right.
So then they get
they drive back to the station
and brother and grandma
are gone
and the station
is covered in blood.
Oh my God.
No.
The stranger is still there
still handcuffed
and looks very sad and he says they
didn't take oh didn't take me with them um yeah we feel really bad we feel really bad that's the
right no i don't remember him but they oh no the grandmother and the brother
and then we get our first scene meeting the vampires and we hear the language
danny houston is the main one who i just learned today angelica houston's brother
oh really oh didn't know it i didn't know that either i know i was really shocked
um but they kind of look alike and it makes sense yeah he in a weird way kind of looks
like vincent d'onofrio yes i can I see that. But Danny Houston is really great in this
and I really enjoyed this whole performance.
Does he do other things?
Is he in other things?
He's in succession.
The most important of all.
Oh, the most important of all.
Oh my God.
I don't know it.
Never heard of it.
Eugene, really?
I mean, I know of it.
But you haven't seen it.
I've never seen it.
It's worth seeing.
But so just his like body movements and everything are so good.
Yes.
And so they look.
He's good at being like creepy.
He's very creepy.
Their eyes are all black.
All black.
Shark teeth.
Shark teeth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they have nasty long nails.
Ew, ew, ew.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And like big heavy brows.
Yes.
Like prosthetics.
Pterodactyl nose.
In the scariest way because like.
It looks really scary.
You can just see it from a distance.
Yeah.
So it just like has that shadow.
It's almost like they're just off from being normal humans.
Yeah.
Like it's not so crazy.
Right.
But it is like.
Right.
Where if they're far, far enough away, you're like, oh, that's another human.
And then they get closer and you're like oh no I'm in trouble
something about this feels wrong
yeah yeah yeah okay
um and so we get a little vampire
exposition great oh you love it
and he says
Danny Houston says this is all
subtitled by subtitled in the crazy language
oh cool and he says
the heads must be separated from their bodies
do not turn them.
Oh, so if you don't do that, then you get turned.
They'll become vampires.
Yes.
And he doesn't want them to.
Correct.
Josh Hartnett's going to be a vampire at the end of this movie.
Oh, ooh, prediction.
He's going to turn into a helicopter.
Oh.
If you want the end now, I'm just letting you know.
Stella's going to turn into a muffin monster.
And then they become robots together.
And then it's like a Netflix kid.
It's a Transformers movie.
They realize that the truck was their son already.
Oh, no.
Emotional film.
Emotional film.
It was a comic first.
Right, right, right.
Okay, so you have to cut their heads off.
Otherwise, they'll become vampires.
Right.
Honestly, not on Twilight.
Sorry.
Does anyone want to try to do the voice?
The language?
The language?
I don't even know.
I don't even know.
Is it more like Latin-y?
It sounds like an old language.
It does.
Okay.
He's their leader.
He's the leader.
There's like a female vampire that seems to be, I don't know, his love interest.
I don't know.
Sure, sure, sure.
How many of them are there?
Kind of a lot.
There's like, yeah.
At least, I feel like at first we probably see 10 to 15.
Yeah.
Okay.
But there's like five-ish main ones.
Yes.
Okay.
We see in the diner where people are gathering and we see that his brother
jake is still alive and he's in the diner with the rest of the people and um is he is he in bad
shape no he's okay oh okay um everyone's very scared and um we see another scene of those
danny houston and the female lady vampire killing another couple in their house they're basically going house to house just killing people yeah i mean there's only a
hundred and however many people there's not that many houses yeah not that many houses um but this
one i like because after he kills them he uses his fingernail to play a record that's playing
and somehow that's the call to all the rest of the vampires. They get very excited in this moment.
Yeah.
And from there go on to like basically kill everybody.
It was very like, I mean, like thematically it was awesome.
The idea of that, that would do it now that I'm hearing that.
It's a little wild.
All right.
I'm going to play some music.
When I find a house that has a record player.
That'll be your cue.
That'll be your cue.
But if I don't find a house, everybody just kind of eat.
Also, and like you have to listen for record versus CD.
Yeah.
Don't.
If you hear a CD playing, no, no, no, that's not it.
Y'all heard when I DJ, right?
Yeah.
It sounds very specific it's my
nail it's a certain song you know what it sounds like it's a little bit okay okay good good good
also the implication is they all have like superpower hearing yeah they can hear this
record player and i would imagine we don't know what time of day it is because it's always night
so it doesn't really matter doesn't doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
It was more of a continuity of the movie than it was.
I don't know.
When was this shot?
Who cares?
A lot of night shoots.
Okay.
Okay.
And so they basically kill everybody in the town.
There's like a light who's not in the diner.
It's like a montage type. Vampire killer montage.
There's like a very cool overhead shot where you just see like craziness.
Yeah.
Them going in.
And then that's when you see that like stream of blood, like all of that kind of stuff,
because it's just like now that the record's playing, which again goes into like this kind
of, you know, cool.
Rap rock.
Rap rock.
Situation.
2007.
2007.
Rap rock of them going on a killing spree.
And it's but it's brutal.
Like you really see it.
This is when you see what I was worried about.
We could see.
Yeah, but it's stylized really well.
It just feels scary.
It feels more like they're just taking over than anything.
Right.
So they're essentially killing everyone who's not in the diner.
Yeah.
Pretty much.
They're killing everybody except for everybody that was the large amount of people that were
introduced.
Previously introduced.
Yeah.
Okay.
Killing off all the.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All of the New Zealand.
All the.
Yeah.
Extras.
Yeah.
All the below the line crew.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so Eben and Stella arrive at the diner to check on everybody.
And he sees that Jake
is still alive. Nice little reunion.
And he says they killed grandma.
Grandma's dead.
And they're like, okay, we got
they're going house to house. But then they're like, wait,
where's her weed though?
But also, why didn't they kill the brother?
I think he maybe just got away.
They were busy. They were preoccupied.
We didn't see it, so I can't say for sure
they got tired after the grandma
because there was a lot of weed in her system
so they were like whoa what happened
let's just chill
and then the stranger was like hey take me
they're like man you're killing me right now
we're just fucking chilling
I'm just trying to hear
a song from my boy who's DJing
over there.
Like, just fucking, you're working too hard.
You are ruining the vibe.
Bitch.
I mean, that's a subtext. This is a genre bending film and I fucking love it.
That's why I'm saying you'd be in it the whole time.
They're like, we need to find somewhere else to hide.
And someone says there's so-and-so's house a few doors down has an attic with a hidden
door that you can't see.
And he's already boarded up all his windows for winter.
So if we could just get in there, that would be a good hiding spot.
And Eben and Stella are like, well, we better get some weapons first before we go there.
Correct.
So they drive so fast to get them.
And then in, I think maybe my favorite scene in the movie, the car stops as if something
pulls it from behind.
They're going like 50 miles an hour.
Flying.
And it just stops and then
lifts up and these vampires
are just pushing it up with their crazy
strength. Oh my god, how many?
Six or so. Oh no.
Maybe more.
And they like push it entirely
vertical. It's not looking
good for them. No.
Do they have the weapons in their car by now?
No. They're en route.
Okay.
Oh, and also, everybody at this point
in the Dinah conversation has accepted
the fact that these are all vampires. Oh, right.
How do they come... Has anyone seen
them? I think it's Jake, the
15-year-old brother that's like...
I think they're vampires.
Oh, because he saw Grandma die.
Yes. And maybe this is a legend we've heard of before?
I'm trying to think.
I just remember at that point because we have all seen it as the audience members.
So you're not questioning.
You're like, yeah.
As soon as they kind of say it for a second, I think I just kind of was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, yeah.
Now you guys know.
You guys know.
You guys know these guys, though.
They don't dwell on it.
We don't need to unpack it.
Right, right.
Yeah.
So they flip their car upside down and bow comes in with like a snow a snow plow and like smashes a whole bunch of them against the wall and i think saves them and they get into
the snow plow they're like shooting some of them yeah, Beau is the one that he gave the ticket to in the beginning
to make him feel like more
part of the town. He's a curmudgeon guy who is from
further uptown. Great.
Even more remote. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay. He would be like the
Creole character. He would be like the
you know, like the... Slightly different accent.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little more local know-how.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, who? Oh, that's the
alligator man. Oh, yeah, that's A little more local know-how. It's like, oh, that's the alligator man.
Oh, yeah, that's me.
He's the alligator man for sure.
The alligator man.
There's two different alligator men in here.
The stranger and then this alligator.
Yeah.
It's all making sense now.
Yeah.
I'm so glad that you're here because of the way I'm explaining this movie sounds like such a different movie.
Well, there's an alligator man.
There's another alligator man.
There's two different alligator men. But then there's shark teeth people, right? Well, there's an alligator man. There's another alligator man. There's two different alligator minds.
But then there's shark teeth people, right?
And then there's a DJ.
Anyways, it is so scary.
So, okay.
So they all make it back to the attic.
And did they get their weapons or no?
I don't think they did.
No.
Okay.
They just had to get out of there.
Yeah.
No weapons. No weapons. But actually, maybe Bo has some weapons. weapons or no i don't think they did no okay they just had to get out of there yeah no weapons no
weapons but actually maybe beau has some weapons and and um eban still has his like sheriff weapons
okay he still has his stuff in the truck of his thing yeah um sheriff weapons
i like it was like who's the head of the police? Who's the leader? Oh, the sheriff. The sheriff with his sheriff weapons.
I could call it a gun, but it's a sheriff weapon.
It's a sheriff weapon.
It's different.
Sounds cooler.
Hell yeah.
And then we see Danny Houston finally going to see the stranger in his cell.
Oh, okay.
Some context.
He says, you did all that I asked, and now we'll take care of you.
Oh, they're going to kill him.
Man, he just snaps his neck.
Of course he does.
Yeah, they don't have
an allegiance.
They don't care.
What did he ask him to do,
I wonder?
Well, I'll come back to it.
So he's like a vampire fan,
essentially.
Yeah, you saw
what we do in the shadows, right?
He's like the familiar.
He's a familiar.
Okay.
Which is why he wasn't
working on his look.
Because he was like, eventually I'm going to have this big forehead. Oh my God. Why even bother? Familiar. He's a familiar. Okay. Which is why he wasn't working on his look. Right.
Because he was like, eventually I'm going to have this big forehead.
Oh my God.
Why even bother it?
My teeth are fucked up, but they're going to be shark teeth soon.
They'll be shark teeth in a matter of minutes.
Who cares?
Over the course of this evening, which is 30 days, something's going to happen that's
going to change me.
I'm going to have some shark teeth.
Yeah, I'll be fine.
It's fine.
And then the passage of time from here is a little crazy because the movie does take
place over the 30 days.
30 days, yeah.
Oh, okay.
But it's like a huge time jump.
A lot of big time jumps where it's like, it feels nonstop, but there's like weeks in between.
But time has passed.
Yes, okay.
And they're in the attic and time has passed.
Well, they move around a lot.
Okay.
But okay, so they are in the attic and I guess some amount of time passes and they're like,
we need food.
Yes.
And there's, we think, 20 of them, right?
That haven't died?
In the attic, there's only like eight.
Oh my, OK.
But there's still kind of like people that are like kind of hiding out and able to like
stay away from these vampires who at this point, even though weeks have passed
and they think they've gotten everyone, I guess
they keep on looking at the population
sign and being like, how many did you have?
How many did you have?
Start with you.
How many?
You'd think they would move on to
another town if they've gotten almost everybody, but
they were just like, no, we gotta get everybody.
If they're trying to also, like, it feels
like, how much food do they need all
at once? My dude's like, spread it
out. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no.
We're in Alaska. There aren't a lot of towns.
Yeah, but they're intermittent fasting, so it's like
they gotta get it all now.
Binge fast. Binge fast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay, fair, fair.
Okay, so there's like a woman
they hear someone calling for help.
This is amazing.
It's so good.
This is one of my favorite scenes of the movie.
And a little part of it is in the trailer.
Oh, it's that woman walking through the snow.
She's walking through the snow and she's just like, help, help.
And you can just see people kind of looking through like where they're hiding.
Hiding places.
Of just being like, oh my gosh, she's out there by herself.
And essentially she's bait.
Yeah.
You see the vampires like jumping around on the rooftop.
Oh, they're like intentionally not eating her.
They're not killing her because they want to see who she lures out
of hiding places.
Right.
How did they get her to do that?
I think probably
threatening to kill her.
You won't die yet.
You won't die yet.
Yeah.
Or we'll save you
or we'll spare you.
We'll spare you.
They won't.
No, they're not the type.
They're not the type.
At all.
If I understand.
Yeah.
But that's one of the scariest things
because once you see them that they're doing
and you know that they're that
smart too. You're like, oh boy, this is scary.
They're thinking like long term
in a way that you don't want
violent creatures to be thinking. And you're also like,
oh no, they do want everybody.
They could eat her right now
but they don't want to.
Who do you have? Okay, you saw that dude.
There's definitely a couple more.
There's more dudes. We gotta find them.
Let's get her out there. So Eben goes out.
Oh no, Eben.
Not to like save
her.
I don't know quite why he's going out.
At this point, I'm like, I'm not going out
for that lady. Yeah. Absolutely not.
He doesn't go out to save her? But for some reason
he's out. Doesn't make any sense. Is he going to save her but for some reason he's out doesn't
make any sense is he going to save her i think he is he was trying to like sort of see what the deal
is yeah like kind of like assess it and then just gotta be like i'm not gonna go all the way up yeah
yeah yeah i don't care about this woman but i'm just gonna go outside to see the surroundings
just needs a little fresh air um and then that would be fair. And then while he's outside, he sees
the husky dad
under the crawlspace of
one of the houses.
He's still alive. Oh, no.
The husky dad? Yes, the man who
owned the ten huskies from before.
Whose wife got pulled under.
I wasn't sure if he meant the man or the husky.
Like a husky. A father husky?
Oh, you meant like just a thick dude?
He's like a husky dad.
He's just kind of like a husky.
I don't know how else to describe him.
Big boned, maybe?
Like a thick dad.
T-H-I-C-C.
Thick dad.
Oh, no.
And he kind of is like, oh, my God, you're still alive.
Like, come here, come here. And he's like like oh yeah but i'm i'm just so hungry and he's like we'll get you food we'll get you
some food no no and then he sees his eyes and his teeth and his eyes are all black teeth not yet
not yet he's not yet he's like still kind of himself maybe it takes a while to morph into a full dude. Yes.
Do we imagine their face gets
crazy as they become?
Yeah. I think the brow
takes time. The brow takes some time.
The eyes are first.
Eyes are first. Teeth are second.
Teeth are probably not. Brow probably just like...
I think those nails probably take a while too.
You earn the brow, you earn the nails.
The nails are some years.
And to get them to play records is, yeah. You earn the brow, you earn the nails. Yeah, the nails are some years. Years.
And to get them to play records
is like centuries.
You gotta learn that.
You've got to learn that.
You've got a long time.
Yeah.
Not everyone can play a record
with their nails.
Not everybody can have
that kind of ability.
And where does the sound
come out?
Your mouth?
What are you?
A brontosaurus?
Is that Flintstones?
Yeah.
Okay, okay.
So he sees his eyes and they're bad.
And then eventually he does like go, he goes for him.
The husky dad like lunges.
The husky dad goes for Josh Hartnett?
Yes.
And like chases him and gets, chases him through this backyard and gets caught up in like a
swing set.
Oh.
And while he's tangled.
My God, to have a swing set in alaska come on yeah there's some summer times for what for like what a week
um he grabs he finds like a an axe on the ground and he first axes the guy in the arm. And I yelled, well, that's not going to do anything.
Yeah.
And then he goes right for the neck.
And it's pretty gnarly.
Oh, because you have to separate the head.
Well, he doesn't know that.
That's true.
But he's just trying to kill him.
And he does kill him.
Gets him.
He gets him.
And then back.
Now he's out in the open.
He is.
It's hard to keep track of all their movements.
There's a lot of movements in this movie.
Yeah.
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
So we go back to the attic.
Wilson, the one with the helicopter, his dad has Alzheimer's.
And in the attic, he wakes up.
Oh, he's going to speak some fucking truth, isn't he?
No.
Yes.
I mean.
Did I just Call the goddamn movie
No no okay no he just
Um like doesn't
Because you have to be really quiet
And he like doesn't know where he is and he's
Like calling for his wife it's really
Sad and they're like mom
Mom died like a long time
Ago dad and he's like I gotta get
Out of here and he's talking so loud
and they're all like oh no it's very stressful very bad and um and i think they like settle him
down and then later while they're sleeping oh josh hartnett gets back goes to sleep he's exhausted
from killing that guy he got home safe he got home safe okay um in the meantime also we saw the woman
who was used as bait
get killed. Get killed in a really
This didn't work. Yeah. They're just like,
all right, well. You didn't do a good job being bait.
She's like, when they come up to her, she's like, please
God. And he's like, God?
Oh, I love that. This is. Are you being
Danny Houston right now? Yes. I saw it in your
goddamn eyes. And that
and this is the best
line in English. Oh, okay. In the whole movie. Okay. And she's like, oh, God save me, God. And this is the best line in English.
Oh, okay.
In the whole movie.
And she's like, oh, God save me.
And then he laughs.
Kind of smirks.
And goes, God.
No, God.
And he has those eyes that are just black.
But he looks up to the sky.
And he's just kind of looking around and just being like.
I don't see him.
It's not going to rain today. But and he's just kind of looking around and just being like I don't see it's not gonna rain today
you know but it's like just
his like kind of and he kind of
tilts his head and gives you this look of
like you're fucking dead
yeah are you kidding
me it's very condescending the scariest
it's very best line
I say it all the time whenever somebody
says like god I go
no go that's pretty scary no go I'm scared but they like slash her to death I say it all the time. Whenever somebody says, like, God, I go, no, God.
That's pretty scary.
No, God. I'm scared.
But they, like, slash her to death.
She dies a very bad way.
They, like, fuck with her.
Like, a whole group of, like, ten of them just kind of, like, bounce her around and
each, like, slash her with their crazy fingernails to death.
It's a little cat-ish.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, it's like.
I think they're trying to still maybe lure people with, like, how violent this death
is.
Like, see, we're going to really kill her really badly.
Like, sure, you don't want to come save her?
No, thank you.
It's like, yes, we're extra sure now.
Yeah, we're extra sure.
Also, yeah, they're like, it's been 20 days.
They're just like trying to have a little bit of a good time.
There's no more.
What else are they going to do?
Yeah.
Nothing's happening.
So Josh Hartnett gets back to the attic.
Everyone's happening. So Josh Hartnett gets back to the attic. Everyone's sleeping.
And Stella wakes up to the grandpa walking out.
He's leaving the attic.
He goes down the stairs.
And she's quietly following him, being like, no, let him go.
Let him go.
Yeah, kind of let him go.
And he's like, I got to go.
I got to find Mary.
I got to.
He's like, bye.
And she's like, no, no, no.
Come back upstairs.
No, Stella.
And he's like, Wilson, come down here. We got to go home. And she's like, no, no, no. Come back upstairs. No, Stella. And he's like, Wilson, come down here.
We got to go home.
And Wilson's like, dad, dad, dad, no.
And they like settle him down.
And he's like, OK, well, let me just go to the bathroom.
And they're like, OK, you can go to the bathroom, but you can't flush.
But whatever.
He goes in and then.
And it just stinks in there.
That's like a 20 minute scene
of them like
a bunch of reaction shots
they're like
oh boy
has no one flushed
this is when the sound design
really shines
yeah
it's dumb and dumber
it's that scene
oh boy
really making it scary the movie I'm shocked this movie didn't do better oh boy um no that
really making it scary
the movie
I'm shocked this movie
didn't do better
truly
I
yeah
um
but
grandpa hops right out
that bathroom window
which is quite
um
I feel like a feat
for a
for a grandfather
um
but Wilson goes out
and chases him
oh Wilson no
and Stella's like
no no no
tries to stop both of them
he like slams Stella she like smacks her head no. And Stella's like, no, no, no, tries to stop both of them. He like slams Stella.
She like smacks her head on a table.
He's like, I gotta get my dad.
the bang wakes up Josh Hartnett.
He comes downstairs and
a vampire does hear them and
comes in the house. Yes. Oh, inside
the house. Yes. Oh, no.
They've now made too much noise.
He gets maybe Wilson. I think he gets Wilson, yeah. It's Oh, no. They've now made too much noise. Yeah. He gets maybe Wilson.
I think he gets Wilson.
Yeah.
It's just to also just show that now they can't go back to the attic.
Right.
They've been in places.
So it's like, boom.
So then everybody's going to have to-
So they have to keep moving.
A new place.
Start moving.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I think he, but he does get Wilson in the meantime.
I think he does.
Yeah.
And probably the grandpa as well.
Yeah.
Because they're not they're
not seen again yeah um and we get a little bit of backstory into why into what's happened between
stella and eban thank god i was wondering um finally she says something about like i should
have done more like i i could have stopped them and he's like people
will do anything for family and there's nothing that can get in between that and she says we were
like that once and i kind of got the feeling that there was maybe a child that they had that they
lost i think so yes oh okay that's sad and it's never really explicitly said josh hartnett looks
like he's 16 in this movie yeah he. He really does. The fact that he has
a past life
that involves a child
that's already dead,
that's surprising to me.
That's already dead.
Yeah.
Right.
Crazy.
And that's kind of all we get.
And he's the sheriff.
And he's the sheriff.
A lot of things
are not lining up,
but that's okay.
He's the head cop.
He's the head.
The cop in charge.
The top cop.
The top.
And he has all the weapons
to prove it.
Well, yeah, he does.
Okay, so then they're like, we got to move to the grocery store.
We need food.
It's like blizzarding now.
They're using that as cover.
They go to the grocery store.
They're like getting some supplies and then they hear something.
And there is a little girl.
Oh, no.
Who has been turned into a vampire.
And turns around and says she's killing people.
They stumble on her killing people.
And she says, you want to play with me now?
And lunges at them.
And is very crazy crazy it's a real
so there's like very strong is a thing we've learned
about they're strong they can kind of defy gravity
some of them like
big jumps maybe not quite flying
but big jumps
crazy quads yeah
yeah like just long jumps for
days yeah
crouching tiger hidden dragon yeah yeah
walking on top of like yes yes yes yeah yeah
yeah okay okay yeah i see it i see it um and so they've still got their axe and this little girl's
like hiding in the shadows it lung she lunges at josh hartnett is he an axe little girl and pins
him against the wall i think and he can't. He is pinned with
no weapons. None of his sheriff weapons.
Oh God. And
Jake
the brother
axes this little girl
right in the neck.
It needed to be done.
And this kid gives a good
performance. How old is he by the way?
He looks so upset. he's 15 yeah and he
goes into like full body shakes afterwards in a way that really upset me yeah i mean but it's good
i mean he's really reacting to having killed a little child that's when scary movies scare me
the most when people are having actual real reactions to the things that are happening
around them yes that's when it's always the most scary. When the stakes feel so real.
Yeah. Because if
everyone doesn't care about anything
that's happening, it's like, you don't care either.
But as soon as people start really caring, I'm
like, I need to leave.
I can't be honest. But that introduction
of the little girl who also then also kills
so now there's like three people.
Oh, right. She probably kills them.
I think we're down to Stella.
Oh, she kills some of them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In the grocery store.
There was like eight.
We're probably down to like five now.
Yeah.
Three of which are Stella, Josh, and Jake.
We've still got Bo.
We got Bo.
Oh, and Bo.
What about the Jews?
And then we've got like two other women that I don't know their names.
Do we have Helicopter Man?
No, I think he died.
No, that's Wilson.
That's his dad.
Oh, that was Wilson.
Oh, okay, okay, okay.
So we have Alligator Man number one.
Right.
Some ladies and then the family.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The four three.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Okay, so then after killing this little girl, they're trying to think of a plan and Stella's
like, they must not be able to handle
sunlight and that's why they had the stranger do things for them and so you kind of put together
that those he burned the cell phones in the beginning and killed the huskies killed the dogs
he did that okay that makes a lot of sense so he's going in while it's daytime to kind of set things up for them.
He's prepping.
Cutting the phone lines.
Power lines.
Yeah.
So they find an ally.
Where?
Yeah.
They find a familiar.
Right.
And then that's their sous chef.
And that's their sous chef.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So their sous is just like getting the mise en place going
yes no if a supernatural evil being like a vampire ever promises you anything yeah
they're decline they will decline have you seen interview with a vampire though
i all i remember is who is it kristin dunst kristin dunst krist Kristen Dunst and I all I remember her as her being really cute yeah
I mean they're just I mean
vampires have had ye
years decades to get
their game right they got charmed for days
they know what they know what to say
they know what to say
ugly though these ones are ugly so
it has to be like good words
yeah and they've got power
that's true and they seemingly live forever.
And this got this,
Stranger had fucked up teeth
and was also kind of weird.
So like,
he's not,
you know.
This is an upgrade for him for sure.
Yeah,
he's like,
what am I doing here?
They're not,
you know,
they're not shooting for the stars here.
No.
They're not pulling your Jennifer Lawrence's,
your Charlize Theron's.
Come on.
They're not going like,
let's just go straight for Josh Hartnett
they're like
he won't go for it
no he won't
let's get
where's the freaks
give me the freaks
yeah
they know
you think Hartnett
might go for it
he's like
Eben
no
his name is Eben
he obviously is ready
to do bigger things
no
with the sheriff
oh the top cop
the top cop
oh the top cop
no no no
top cops
he's too busy
let's get the homeboy over here I like that better than sheriff I, the top cop? No, no, no. Top cop's, he's too busy. Let's get the homeboy over here.
I like that better than sheriff.
I'm the top cop.
I'm the top cop.
Top cop?
Top cop.
Okay.
Okay.
So Stella.
We're in trouble.
Stella says.
We're in trouble.
Yeah.
Stella's like, I feel like, you know, we're just going to go with the fact that they're
vampires.
No questions asked.
Vampires don't like sunlight.
Your grandma was growing some weed.
She's got some UV lights in her house.
Oh, a greenhouse!
Oh, fuck.
They're using the whole buffalo in this movie.
Yes!
Yes!
Good for them. Good for them. It happens
honestly more rarely than you would think.
So often it's like
that won't come back. Often they leave a fucking
half a buffalo in a goddamn movie.
Turning they left
almost all of the buffalo.
At every corner. The turning?
Oh really? They left the whole buffalo.
They leave a lot of buffalo. Sometimes it's
a buffalo and you're like I thought it was a buffalo.
They're like no it's a horse. You're like what?
Okay but y'all had a buffalo.
Y'all started with a buffalo right? He's like yeah but then halfway through we're like no it's a horse you're like what okay but y'all had a buffalo y'all started with a buffalo right he's like yeah
but then halfway through we were like shouldn't it be a horse
we couldn't figure out
what if it's a donkey
but this one yeah this one's going buffalo
this one does well buffalo on it
I respect that so they're trying to set up
a diversion
Eben is going to the UV light thing
to make a distraction so they
can move from the grocery store
but I don't know where they're going
just to another hiding spot
I think they're trying to go to the power plant or something
I guess the power plant yeah they're trying to get to
to the muffin machine
oh but also
I mean that's a good point how are the
UV lights going to work if the power
isn't working well they have backup generators.
That are still functioning?
They're fixed to rest, I guess.
Everybody's dead, so everything got turned off.
Okay.
Nobody's using a lot of power here.
We've got power for days.
So Eben goes.
He runs and makes a bunch of noise.
He's banging on things.
He's like, come get me.
I'm a human.
And runs to Grandma's house fires up that uv light
and closes the door and the um lady vampire is that okay to call her she is that i don't know
i mean we need to ask her yeah this comes out it's better than vampire i don't know i don't
know any of the vampire names yeah yeah um they speak a different and we don't it. I don't know any of the vampire names. Yeah, yeah. It's fine. They speak a different,
we don't know.
Yeah.
We don't know.
Sammy, I'm a little offended,
but it's okay.
Keep going.
Well, I was trying to think of like,
I mean, calling him Danny Houston,
one of them looks like Drax
from Guardians of the Galaxy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She kind of reminds me
of Edie Patterson in a way.
Okay.
We'll call her that.
I'll call her Edie Patterson.
We'll go with Edie.
We can go with that.
So Edie the vampire.
Edie. And so she's like, I'll take this one. I'll call her Edie Patterson. We'll go with Edie. We can go with that. So Edie the vampire. Edie.
And so she's like, I'll take this one.
I'll go in there and get him.
Uh-oh.
And she breaks down that door and gets blasted with the UV light.
What does it do to her?
And she's screaming in pain.
Like burns alive.
It burns him.
Burns dead.
So this movie is a huge add for the effectiveness of UV light.
Yes.
It's correct.
How it can affect all of our skins.
All of our skins.
Powerful.
Powerful.
Yeah.
And then also in this time, Bo, he's getting in that crazy chainsaw truck and he's just
slicing.
He's driving it in like 360s, slicing vampires left and right.
Hell yeah.
And he slams into this corner store thing, I don't know, and is trying to lure them in there.
And he explodes the building with a lot of them in there.
And he survives.
He is thrown back and then like into the ice and crawls out.
And Danny Houston walks over to him,
steps on his head.
I don't like that.
And he slams down on it and the like footprint goes into the head.
It's so gross.
It like crushes in a very nasty way.
Yeah.
It crushes like.
Like as if you're like stepping in butter.
Yeah.
It really is.
Like all of a sudden.
I don't know what kind of shoes vampires wear, but
they butter your face.
It's not good.
It does have a butter quality
as he moves through. It's not how a head
would crush. It's like a
Play-Doh type situation. It's like only the part
where his foot smushes and the rest
stays in shape. Wait, so does he die
right away or is he like still alive? I mean he dies
his head's buttered. I know
I didn't know how extreme the butter was
but it was like I guess that's also
to show how strong
Houston was that it's just kind of like
bonk like it's just like quick
that he could just step down
but he didn't even eat him he just fucking killed him
and doesn't care. He was mad. Are you telling me
it was this hard for these strong
super like
super sensitive auditory beings
to not find them in the attic
I'm sorry they were being quiet Henley
they were being real quiet except for
okay okay okay okay I'll let it go
I'll let it go they also might not have been
looking towards the attic you know they're looking
they're playing their records
they're having a yeah they were just enjoying their time in the dark yeah okay fine I they're looking. They're playing their records. Yeah.
Yeah.
They were just enjoying their time in the dark.
Yeah.
OK, fine.
I won't nitpick.
It's their favorite 30 days.
Right.
It's like Christmas for them.
Yeah.
Christmas.
It is.
So the group now gets back together.
Minus Bo, who has died.
Yes.
And they're in.
I don't know exactly where, but they see across the way a flashlight signal, like a little SOS coming from Billy's house
from the beginning with the very white teeth,
his cop partner.
Oh, the white teeth man.
The funny guy.
Funny guy.
Yeah, funny guy.
Jokes.
Funny guy.
And they go over there, they find him,
and he's not doing well.
And he says, I shouldn't have signaled you.
I just can't handle being alone
and you see over to his the like bed and there's sheets over like body outlines with gunshot wounds
in their foreheads and uh josh hartnett peels back the sheets and looks at them and billy is crying and he said i heard
i heard all the screams i heard how everyone was dying i didn't want them to have to die like that
and so he fucking killed his family before anything happened yeah oh my and he says and
then i tried to shoot myself and the gun jammed.
Oh.
So he's just mentally unwell.
He's not physically unwell. He's not physically unwell.
He's just like, I killed my family and then couldn't kill myself.
I lured you all here.
And then hid for 20 days by himself.
With the dead bodies in a bed.
Of his wife and children.
That's bad.
Josh Hartnett is not happy.
No. But they can't have a good big fight because they have to be quiet
so they have a quiet fight where he grabs
him and he's like your family you never
hurt your family. It's like. Okay
he doesn't need that. Honestly he's
clearly had enough time to feel pretty bad
about his choices. No it's not a
fun scene. But he could have stepped
out at this point and just got eaten by
Yeah, that's true.
If he wanted to die, he could have fucking died.
He could have figured it out at this point. Yeah, that's true.
And so
I think then they're trying to make it back to the
plant. They leave his house.
They take him with and
they see
a little boy walking down the street covered in blood looking like so
a little in shock like i'm not good at this six he's young yeah um another child
and they recognize him they're like oh that's like timmy or whatever sorry timmy love you timmy how dare you he's gonna love the shout
out um and it still runs out and grabs him oh no um and then a very benedict cumberbatch looking
vampire oh yeah okay yeah pops out and they they all run back to the plant. Then we cut back to Danny Houston,
who slicks his hair back with blood,
which I think is a very cool detail.
He's fucking-
He's amazing.
I'm telling you.
He's so good.
He makes this movie.
He goes to a corpse and uses blood.
What's their relationship like, I wonder?
Are they close?
Are they fun siblings?
Do they hang?
I'm curious.
I'm curious.
I think there's five siblings.
Whoa, that's a lot of Houstons. A lot of Houstons.
John Houston is their dad, the director of
The Maltese Falcon.
Okay. Showbiz family.
Showbiz family.
Okay, so then, yeah, we're in
the plant with the
Muffin Monster. Okay.
Here we are.
The whole fucking buffalo. and this boy the whole fucking buffalo is this boy human yes he's just
seen some shit he is covered in blood and like not speaking it's not good okay um danny houston
outside gives a little speech about how it took them centuries to make people forget about them and make them think
that they were just nightmares and so it's important that we kill everybody everyone
they don't want anybody to know people will come back and they won't know what happened right
no witnesses really playing the long game here you guys need to watch a clip of danny houston what happened. No witnesses.
We're only playing the long game here. You guys need to watch a clip of Danny Houston in this movie
because his performance is so fucking good.
It's amazing.
I'll do that right afterwards.
I'll do this.
I'll do this right now.
I'll do this.
My eyes are bigger than my stomach.
I'll do it.
I will do this.
My eyes are bigger than my heart.
Okay, so in the plant um the drax the guardians of
the galaxy looking vampire drops down behind billy he's inside he's inside and a big fight
ensues they hear they hear billy screaming they come out josh harnett comes out with that axe
drax grabs the axe right out of his hand, just throws it away.
Yeah, sure, sure.
Doesn't even, it's like not even a...
It's Jack's.
Yeah.
And they're fighting.
It's crazy.
He's about to kill Josh Hartnett and Billy, or he's like holding Josh Hartnett over the
muffin monster.
Oh, no.
And then Billy knocks him in to the muffin monster and...
Billy White Teeth.
White Teeth Billy.
Okay.
Who has just killed his whole family
nothing to lose
except for his arm
he turns back around
his arm is gone
it went with the vampire to the muffin monster
ow ow ow
I hate it
I hate it
it's my least favorite
die or keep your whole body I hate it. I hate it. You don't like that? It's my least favorite.
Yeah.
Die or keep your whole body.
Got it.
I don't like anything in between.
You also don't like knives.
I hate knives.
And that's a lot of knives.
Well, those axes are similar to knives, I feel like.
Oh, my God. Yeah.
Oh, my God.
They're just hammer knives.
Yes, they're just big, big old hammer knives.
Heavy knives.
Blades. Blades is maybe a way better way. Bl Big old hammer knives. Heavy knives. Blades.
Blades is maybe a way better way.
I don't like blades.
Or blade.
And Billy has, in this process, been scratched by the vampire.
And so he's missing an arm and it's spurting blood.
And he is screaming very loud and crazy and in a lot of pain and
while he's screaming you see his teeth
kind of changing a little bit
and he's starting to like
well we can't see his eyes because they're squeezed shut
because he's in so much pain but
he's starting to
kind of sound
like them
and
they're all staring.
They don't know what to do.
Josh Hartnett picks up that axe and axes his head right off in front of everybody. And everyone just, it cuts to everybody's reaction, kind of staring at it happening.
And nobody's having a good time.
No.
It's really upsetting.
But had to happen.
That's why he's the top cop.
That's why.
The top cop has to make tough decisions.
Has to make hard decisions.
Do they explain ever why they didn't want to turn anyone?
Maybe it's hard enough to get through the world.
I think they just like their crew.
Yeah.
I think they're good with their crew.
No new friends.
No new friends.
No new friends.
It's hard enough.
They've got 20 of them.
And it's hard to make time
and they already know
how they do things
you listen to the record
you'd have to like
tell a new guy like
hey hey hey
I know you're new
but we like listen to this record
and he'd be like
what
this guy plays a record
what are you talking about
why
why
they'd be like
this is why we don't
turn new people
and they'd be like
I just thought of this
yeah okay okay
okay so
Stella and the little boy have not made
it back to this place by the way sorry they're except they're not here oh no and we now see that
they are trapped under a car surrounded by vampires um and they have a walkie-talkie
and they walkie-talkie josh hartnett and josh hartnett can like he's looking through a
little hole and you can see them and he's like you're surrounded oh don't move she's like we're
free we're freezing um so they're like literally laying in the snow her and this little boy
and she kind of it's seeming like she's pretty sure they're going to die. So she starts to say her
kind of goodbyes. Oh my gosh.
They lost a child. And she's like
I'm so sorry. She's saving this child.
I'm so sorry for leaving you when I did.
And he's like
no, you know, don't talk
like that. Sun's going to come up tomorrow
by the way. We're at the 30 days.
They've made it quite a ways.
They've made it quite a ways quite a ways
and we're gonna watch that sunrise together
don't talk like that
we're gonna do this
and
she
notices that the street is
filling up with oil
something in one of the plants has
like broken
and there's oil leaking all over the town.
And the vampires lighted on fire.
And one of the girls in the plant is like, they're going to burn the whole town down.
So it looks like everything was just like a freak accident.
There will be no evidence of anything that happened here.
So the whole town catches fire.
And Jake, the brother, is like and jake the brother is like well
this building is not going to burn down we're in like a really it's like a power plant so we're
safe here but stella and the child are definitely not yeah and so josh hartnett is faced with this
choice of or he's like if if she runs from under the car they'll kill her they're right there
they're surrounding her if she stays there she'll burn to death oh god if i come out of this hiding
spot i'll give up i'll give up everybody's location and they'll kill all of us and just a lot of bad choices here. And he has a little moment of
I know what I gotta do.
And he
rummages in this little bag
like a first aid kit
finds a syringe
and goes
and gets some blood from Billy
and injects it
into himself.
And he's like I've got to become one of them.
What?
I can't fight them as me.
There's some time in between,
because he saw the other guy.
Billy change, and the other guy change.
And the other guy change,
so he knows you're still yourself for a little bit.
And he's like, I'm'm gonna go out there as like a
strong hybrid vampire
me so that I can fight them
and actually stand a chance
it's wild I was shocked
as well I did not
see it coming I am shocked
I'm shocked Henley you said it earlier
you were like he's gonna become a vampire at the end
fuck but but
you didn't think it was gonna happen this way I didn't think
also I didn't think that he would know
that he could just inject blood into
his own system and that would
turn him yeah right you don't
necessarily I don't really know
that's I mean if you're the top copy you know a lot
of math that we don't know
I teach you special math
there's a master's degree
whoa okay so he is okay That's true. They teach you special math. You have to. There's special math. There's a master's degree. Whoa.
Okay.
So he is.
Okay.
Still a risk, but I guess.
But it's all a risk at this point.
Better odds than the other ones.
You mean there's a risk of mixing blood?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So he starts to turn.
His eyes get black.
He gets the teeth pretty fast.
Yeah.
Almost simultaneously teeth
and eyes yeah and he
still has his own
he still has his own personality ish
he turns to his brother and says I can smell your blood
gross which is gross
but he had said that a couple of times through
the movie
so it's just kind of a contract
and they're like I'm gonna miss you
I can smell your blood
like I said before and he goes out to It was just kind of a callback. And they were like, I'm going to miss you. Right after that. I can smell your blood.
Like I said before.
Yeah.
And he goes out to face all the remaining vampires.
How many would you say are left?
Now, I think less than the population of the town.
I'd say less than 10. But I would say a solid 8 to 10.
Yeah.
Just basically anybody surrounding this car and then maybe a couple of stragglers.
Yeah.
To kind of pop out of somewhere.
He walks out.
Danny Houston looks ready for a fight and he's like, what's this?
What's happening?
And he's kind of fucking with him at first and winning pretty easily.
They start to fight.
Yeah.
And hand to hand combat. Hand to hand combat. Hand to nail. Kind of. Yeah. with him at first and winning pretty easily they start to fight yeah and hand-to-hand combat hand
to hand combat uh hand to nail kind of yeah he does get he scratches him right in the face
he like flings him over a car and josh hartnett's not doing well um i feel like he gets a few
punches in but overall is not faring well i, it feels like a superhero against a bad guy.
Yeah.
You know, like, oh, no, he's not doing well, but that just means he's going to do better.
Yeah.
Exactly.
You know it's coming.
But one gross thing that happens is he, like, goes to punch him, and Danny Houston grabs
Josh Hart in its hand and bends it in half at at the palm level yeah yeah it's really in half
it's so gross yeah he like pops out the center of his palm which i've never seen done before
um and so josh hartnett is like huddling holding his palm and um danny houston Dana Houston walks a little distance away and then kind of runs and jumps at him.
And Josh Hartnett flings around and punches through his mouth through the back of his skull.
And punches his brain essentially out of his head.
Yeah.
It's really out of nowhere.
So crazy.
That feels like a Sam Raimi moment for sure.
Out of nowhere, super strength, realizing it after palm is in half.
Well, hey.
And there's a moment where.
Same palm or the other one?
I think it's the other one.
It's the other one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it's not like it turns into like some kind of weird knife at that point.
Super palm.
It's super palm.
No, it's the other.
It's the good arm.
Okay. that point super palm it's super palm no it's the other it was it's the good arm okay but also just the fact that houston was just like going away and goes you know what no i'm gonna turn back around
i'm gonna turn back around give him an open mouth mistake give him an open mouth jump hey
um then all the rest of the vampires are like what the fuck do we do now they look very um
confused and they don't attack him.
Well, they just sort of back away.
I think so.
Josh Hartnett's our new leader.
Well, that's what I kind of thought.
But they all just kind of.
He's going to become a vampire now.
He's going to become a vampire.
There's no reversing this process.
Right.
Oh, fuck.
But they all kind of just leave.
Well, because now it's getting close to the.
Right.
Daytime.
So then they're just like, fuck. well, we got to get out of here.
We got to get out of here.
And there's this crazy guy.
He's not going to be part of our crew.
Right.
We're going to head out.
And he's going to die in the sunlight.
Yeah.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
And so...
Maybe best case scenario for him.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Stella has been watching some of this from under the car.
Mm-hmm.
Comes out out is like
what did you do to yourself
she's crying
obviously they're saying their goodbyes
it's yeah they don't have a happy ending
coming up here
so they go to the place where they have
their first date which was mentioned earlier
in the film and I forgot to mention it
but it's basically like
an overlook where you can see the sunrise.
Aha. Classic.
Hence that we're going to watch the sunrise
to get there. Got it.
And they
sit and
kiss. Oh my.
With the shark teeth? Which I thought was
crazy. I was like, I don't know the rules of this.
And also like we're really trusting
that he's got a handle on this transformation right and it seems like it would be transmitted
through blood and he is covered in blood yeah and we're putting our mouth on that mouth
it seemed like a bad idea but i guess it was sweet yeah um they have a kiss and the sun comes up and his skin turns to ash.
Oh my God.
And he dies.
Yeah.
Is that the end?
And it ends on her face looking very sad and closing her eyes and holding his dead little ash body.
Oh God.
It was like a rom-com at the end.
It's a rom-com.
This is actually a romantic film.
So this is a uh sort of
weed comedy yes yeah and a rom-com yeah yeah yeah it's like a family drama yeah oh man a lot of
layers um this movie was nuts it was really nuts i think i it sounds a little different than
twilight a little different a little different though Twilight. A little different.
Though head removal,
big part of Twilight as well, in case you're wondering. I'm really glad
that I saw this movie, I will say.
Did you have a fun time? I had a really fun time
and I will say most
of the movies we've done are rewatches for me.
This was the first one that this is the first time
I had seen it. This and Event Horizon.
And it's fun to see it for the first time.
Yeah! I was excited. And it's an older see it for the first time. Yeah! I was excited.
And it's an older one.
I mean, now it's like, what, 13 years
old? Yeah, 13 years old. But I feel like it
holds up. It does hold up. I mean, other than music-wise
and like, you know. Rap rock.
Rap rock.
Thematically and like the way that it's done is really
cool. It looks cool. It looks
good still. The trailer did look good. Yeah.
And yeah, I really enjoyed it. Andosh hartnett holds up he does he does
and that's what i was oh i looked it up he was 29 when this movie was made which honestly he
looked so much younger in that trailer i'm hey i mean forever young what a little baby face yeah
what's that say about me that i'm like almost the same age and feel like he looked 15 years
what does that mean about how I perceive the world around me?
I don't know.
I really don't know what to do with that, Henley.
I don't know.
I'm going to think about it.
I'll get back to you guys.
Okay.
Please let us know.
But he was great.
He got better as the story got better.
I'd say especially, I feel like when he became a vampire,
I was like, oh, Josh Hartnett's fucking good.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
But what's his name?
Act on them like fucking circles around them.
Oh, Danny Houston.
Danny Houston crushed this movie.
We're going to have to post some clips of Danny Houston.
He made the movie.
Hell yeah.
Because he's so fucking good in it.
He's so good.
Just even the way that he moves in this movie.
A gif could do it.
A gif could show you just the like.
What he's bringing to the table.
It's like the way he moves is so fucking great.
I mean, he's great.
We'll post some gifs. Yeah. We'll post some gifs yeah we'll post some gifs
wow what a journey I liked this
a lot this was great this was a fun time
Eugene thank you so much yeah of course
for doing this with us
you're the best I wish you
could watch the movie but I get what this podcast
is took you until the
end of it to understand what we're doing here well
no just because as we're explaining it I'm like it's so good get in there i know i feel the same way a lot but then
i but like and i'm like oh can you skip over the scary parts like no they're kind of important
thing right like i i feel as though i'm able to obviously i can't get the full picture but i can
appreciate a lot more of these movies than i otherwise would be able to because I can't get the full picture but I can appreciate a lot more of these movies than I otherwise
would be able to because there's some horror
movies though that don't have
they don't you know
use any of the buffalo or they
don't even like tell a real good story it's
just kind of like yeah this scary weird
thing and you're just trying to get
yeah yeah jump scares and all that stuff
this actually has like the
you know it's suspenseful.
It's like a thriller.
Which is great and also is what's hard for me.
Like that tension build is really
hard for me. And there is a lot of knives and
hammer knives.
Yeah see.
That muffin maker. What is it?
Muffin machine? Muffin monster.
Muffin monster. That makes sense.
Yeah no that's not for me.
That's not. I don't like toin Monster. That makes sense. Yeah. No, that's not for me. That's not.
I don't like to.
It's tough.
I get it.
That's fair.
The way we have to close this out is both of you have to say your goodbyes in the best
vampire speak you can.
Like in a different language?
I don't know.
In the vampire language.
We would never know.
Listen, I know that I tried to lob this in earlier.
You said no. I could
try. You said no, but I
really want to hear your best efforts.
You both seem ready.
I mean, it's going to be bad. In my head
it sounds okay and it's going to be bad, but it would be
like...
That was honestly great.
It's more like Latin-y. It is though.
It is.
That's better. It's a... Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's better.
That's better.
Oh, you did it.
It's like...
It's like you say...
Just say like the Latin phrase.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Carpe diem.
Mea culpa.
Yeah.
Hey, everyone. It's Henley.
Thanks for listening to another episode of Too Scary Didn't Watch.
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