Too Scary; Didn't Watch - 30 DAYS OF NIGHT with Eugene Cordero

Episode Date: March 11, 2020

A top cop, a muffin monster, and Danny Huston giving an incredible performance as a vampire who can play records with his fingernail - we're recapping 30 Days of Night! Eugene Cordero (Tacoma... FD, Golden Arm) joins us to talk about our very first vampire horror movie and explains how it uses the whole buffalo. Tune in to find out if Henley's eyes are stronger than her heart. Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily, and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley, and I'm too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley and I'm too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Sammy and I like watching scary movies and I like telling my friends about them. She does. She's obsessed with them.
Starting point is 00:00:34 Did anything scary happen to us this week? I took a 12 hour flight this week um and at with my fiance tim and at the end of the flight in the last two hours i turned and look at tim and tim was gray like his face had turned from a healthy natural flushed um complexion to literally white as a like so pale and um then he proceeded to have very severe food poisoning oh for the last two hours of the flight oh did he throw up on the plane multiple times oh god he had eaten something in the airport before we left and then it set in like you know 10 hours in and then um in our uber on the way home and you know the opening of la La Land where they do that whole like choreographed dance. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:27 I think that's the 110 ramp, right? Yeah, I think so. Well, that's where we pulled over. Oh, no. It was horrible. Oh, my God. It was really, really bad. And luckily, you didn't have a fever.
Starting point is 00:01:40 So I don't think it was coronavirus. But I bet everyone on that flight with you was really anxious. But that's not even really a symptom of coronavirus. I was going to say, I don't think vomiting is part of it. See, I don't have a fever, so I don't think it was coronavirus. But I bet everyone on that flight with you was really anxious. But that's not even really a symptom of coronavirus. I was going to say, I don't think vomiting is part of it. See, I don't know. I'm part of the problem. I would just think that it is. No, it's not.
Starting point is 00:01:53 And so, but nonetheless, it was horrible. And I hope that never happens to anyone I know. Because it was really bad. Oh, that's so awful. I'm so sorry. What about you guys? Oh, boy. That's so awful.
Starting point is 00:02:01 I'm so sorry. What about you guys? Oh, boy. I, Henley, this is not to make you feel bad, but I got very overwhelmed with planning bachelorette parties because I was planning three at once. That's too many. And I was in like six different thread, text threads of like buying shit and planning shit. And I had to take a Xanax. I had a full panic attack.
Starting point is 00:02:23 Oh, you did? I'm so sorry. It's okay. You have too many friends. I have too many friends. She's too loved. And here's the thing. I'm really excited for all of them. It just was like too much at once and I really freaked out. Oh, God. I don't blame you. That's a lot of planning. Well, I appreciate your help. Thank you. I'm really looking
Starting point is 00:02:38 forward to all of these events is the silver lining. But mine is the silver lining. Mine the most though, right? Yours the most. Definitely. And to my other friends that also listen to this podcast. Also, there's the most. Also, there's the most. They don't matter, Sandy. All of them the most. What about you, Emily? So I feel like there's a lot of scary. There are a lot of scary things happening right now in this week in particular in the world. And I just have been really anxious and scared but i'm not going to talk about that what i'm going to talk about is that um my landlord discovered a
Starting point is 00:03:09 beehive outside of my apartment um and texted me to say there were people coming to take care of the beehive just so you know it'll be between these and these hours i was at work and so i came home and i i have i usually keep my door with the screen shut and like some windows open. So I came home and I shut everything. So I'm hanging out and sitting and I my cat starts sort of chasing after something. And I knew, OK, a bee got in. And so I got her away from the bee and I put in a little cup and a paper and put it outside. Sit back down.
Starting point is 00:03:42 She's meowing. She's in another room. It's not the bee. And I'm thinking, oh, my gosh, look, she's really going after these bees good for her um and then for the next hour i proceeded to take about 40 to 50 bees out of my apartment oh no um and it kept happening and i was like what the fuck is how is is this... All the doors were shut. They were gone. How is this even possible? So I stayed in that room for a little while to see if I could see where they were coming from.
Starting point is 00:04:12 And opened a closet. And around an outlet that must have been replaced at some point, there was a hole. And they were all coming in through that hole. So many bees. I can't even... It was so many bees. It was so many bees. It was so many bees. And I was certain it was never going to end.
Starting point is 00:04:30 I did eventually duct tape around that outlet. And then they didn't come in anymore. But there are a lot of dead bees. There are a lot of dead bees trapped inside my closet. And, you know, it's not good to have a beehive outside of my apartment. But it wasn't a problem for me until they did something about it. And then I had bees inside my apartment. It's not okay.
Starting point is 00:04:51 Anyway, so I dealt with a lot of bees. It sounds stressful. Let's all soothe our nerves with a very relaxing film. I can't wait. What film is that, Sammy? This week's film is 30 Days of Night. is that sammy this week's film is 30 days of night it came out in 2007 directed by david slade who also directed hard candy and twilight eclipse guys another another vampire i'm sorry which one in the order is that second one third third one okay okay yeah we recently watched all that for
Starting point is 00:05:23 those listening i recently watched all the twilight films for the first time. Huge fan. We loved them. We loved them. Written by Steve Niles, Stuart Beattie, Brian Nelson, based on a comic written by Steve Niles and Ben Templesmith, starring Josh Hartnett, Melissa George, Danny Houston, Ben Foster, and Mark Boone Jr. Melissa George, Danny Houston, Ben Foster, and Mark Boone Jr. Well, here to talk to us about this film is an actor, a comedian, a lovely person, a fourth, we just learned, Eugene Cordero. Hi.
Starting point is 00:05:57 The fourth. Hello, Eugene. Eugene Cordero the fourth. The fourth. Please. That's what I do. That's my full title. That's what I go by now, yeah. Hi, slate your name, Eugene Cordero the fourth. Want to That's what I do. Use my full title. That's what I go by now. Isolate your name.
Starting point is 00:06:06 Eugene Cordero the fourth. Want to highlight that? Perfect. Eugene, did anything scary happen to you this week? I got LASIK done. Oh my gosh. No. I really would love to get LASIK, but I'm very blind.
Starting point is 00:06:20 I don't think I can. I think you can, but it's scary. Yeah, it seems scary. You're awake during it but it's scary yeah it seems scary you're awake because you're awake the whole time right tell you about it and they show you a video of them using a later flipping your eyelid I mean I ball open oh and then shooting another laser and and then flipping your eyeball back and then that's it. So it's not that long, but it was scary because they flip your, you see them flip your eye and you're looking at this light and then they
Starting point is 00:06:51 flip your eye. Jenna's catatonic. And then you're looking at another light and you smell burning. Oh my God. You smell burning, which means there's something they They're burning your face. Your eyes. And then they flip it back and then you can see.
Starting point is 00:07:10 Immediately? Immediately. And then they put this foggy juice on you and then you can't again. Foggy juice? I called it foggy juice. I don't think that's a good term for it. But is it really working? Well, foggy juice? Yeah. That's what this is.
Starting point is 00:07:24 Yeah, it sounds like a rapper's drink. Yeah. Foggy Juice. Hey, man. It's my tour. It's 2020 tour. Check me out this summer. Foggy Juice.
Starting point is 00:07:35 Talk to my son Wes until it gets canceled. I'll be there. Until coronavirus shuts it down. Yeah. Wow. But yes, so that was scary. That's horrific. But great, but it works.
Starting point is 00:07:48 Yeah. Also, I reach, I'm like, oh, my contacts are itchy. I should take these out of my, oh no, these are my eyes. Whoa, that's so crazy. It's nice to wake up. I'm sure it's nice to wake up and just be able to see. Yeah, it was great. I haven't been able to do that in my entire life.
Starting point is 00:08:04 But my wife picked me up from that um from my appointment I mean from my surgery and um and that night my eyes were painful and burning oh but we had to go I there was a um Nick and Jessica Jessica Simpson's old reality show oh I remember that episode she did likeic and they go to Red Robin. Yeah. And eat burgers. So did you go to Red Robin? She had to take me there.
Starting point is 00:08:29 We had to do. That's amazing. I had to do all of the lines that are like funny to her. What does she say? Does she say anything? She goes, did I put too much ketchup and there's a mound of ketchup on that thing? So I had to do that.
Starting point is 00:08:41 And I had to like read the menu very straight. So you had to play a part. Yeah. After your surgery. My eyes were bleeding i think oh my god did i put too much ketchup i had fucky juice it was all fine that's a big one that's a good one that's a good scary thing to have happened big week big week big week well speaking of of scary experiences, do you like scary movies? I love scary movies. Yes.
Starting point is 00:09:10 I love them. I hated them as a youth, but I was afraid of Freddy Krueger. Yeah, sure. Because he attacks you in your fucking nightmares. In your dreams. Yeah, that was terrifying. Oh, no. It's so bad.
Starting point is 00:09:24 So it was just a scary thing. You couldn't escape it. So then I was just like, no, I can't do this. And I used to love Thriller, the song, by the artists we're not allowed to listen to. But Vincent Price's
Starting point is 00:09:39 part where he starts just talking, I would have to run upstairs and away from that room but you don't dance during a fucking monologue nobody's dancing then everybody's just being spooks that's spooks time and i'm not gonna be part of it and i won't be here for that But my shoulder's going up and I'm clapping over my head moments later. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:08 Yeah. So, but I eventually people were started loving, like my cousins and stuff would love getting together on a night and watch these movies. And the idea of that was so much more fun than me being the one that was, that was scared that i started enjoying it and enjoyed being scared because it was kind of like social pressure yeah got you yeah these
Starting point is 00:10:30 are so communal yeah yeah and people would scream and then i got even more into it as an adult because my wife um loves scary movies as well, but is a big screamer. That's fun to watch. It's so fun. And a bunch of us go to almost every scary movie that comes out, and everybody wants to sit next to my wife. That's great. Because she's going to react to Vegas.
Starting point is 00:11:02 Come on! I love it. And everybody is having a blast. And I would check in and be like, are you okay? because she'll be just like come on and then and everybody is having a blast and she's having and I would check in and be like
Starting point is 00:11:09 are you okay and she's like no yeah of course what shut up yeah we're having fun let me be in it
Starting point is 00:11:17 that is such a that's one of my favorite reactions to a scary movie is the scream and the like ah you made me scream like the like anger at the reaction
Starting point is 00:11:24 was really fun so good I feel like Emily you have pretty made me scream. Like the like anger at the reaction was really fun. So good. I feel like Emily, you have pretty good strong reactions just to the trailers that we watched together. I can't help it. I know. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:32 I am very scared. Scares. Very emotive. Do you have a scariest movie you've ever seen? There's movies that I won't watch. What are those? I mean, I won't watch Midsommar Summer. That was the first episode of this podcast.
Starting point is 00:11:48 Oh, it was? I won't watch it because I'm already scared of white people during the day. So it's not like you need to also show me something that... I get it. I'm correct. They're fucking scared.
Starting point is 00:12:04 It's a movie about how I'm right. So if I go to a field where you guys are having a party, something might happen to me. I knew that. I won't feel safe here. I get it. I get it. I get it. You have a different party than I do.
Starting point is 00:12:19 It's a movie about a different party. I'm trying to think of the scariest. The idea of the movie The Strangers. Is that the one where they come at them in a vacation home or something?
Starting point is 00:12:31 Yeah, where they just like and there's no reason for it. They're just like, we're going to kill you. They're just like, hey, let's walk into this house. That's so scary. It's unfair.
Starting point is 00:12:37 I don't like that. I don't like that one little bit. Yeah, no, that's not. Yeah, there's no reason. Like if there's like a serial killer, I'd lose them. But great.
Starting point is 00:12:44 Let me see it. Like Halloween or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, great. Let me see it. Like Halloween or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. I get it. Tell me why it happened.
Starting point is 00:12:50 I'm on his side. I can empathize. I'm building empathy. I'm building empathy. He had a hard childhood. I feel it. We get it. Yes.
Starting point is 00:12:57 We get it. We get it. The omen. Yeah. The kid was in the wrong bedroom, but I get it. I get it. And that's enough. That's enough.
Starting point is 00:13:04 What's the name of the um one where they go splunking splunking the descent baby that shit is scary as shit i remember that movie being one of the scariest ones just because the way they did like claustrophobic moments were so good like horrible i can't wait till we do the dissent on this podcast because I've been hearing Sammy and Jenna talk about the dissent for honestly years now. But this is one that you will all watch, right? No. The dissent?
Starting point is 00:13:33 Yes. No, there's no way in hell. No, but you have to. If you're going to do it, and you need to record it while you're watching. Wait, Silent Jenna's giving two watching them wait this has to be giving two thumbs up this has to be i think you have to you have to get the fans of the podcast to reach out and have you guys do a two-hour live stream i don't even know i think a live stream would be great it's
Starting point is 00:13:59 not a bad idea honestly i want to oh god this be a my eyes are bigger than my stomach situation, but I want to. Which is a metaphor I love using with watching movies. My eyes are bigger than my stomach. There's no better way to say it. I was about to destroy this whole movie. Can someone come up with a better metaphor? Can someone come up with a better metaphor? You're biting off more than you can chew. Come up with a better metaphor. Can someone come up with a better metaphor? My...
Starting point is 00:14:25 You're biting off more than you can chew. Same sort of thing. Same sort of thing, but also food. Yeah, yeah. No, I like eyes are bigger than... Yeah, I like my eyes are bigger than my stomach. My eyes are bigger than my brain. My eyes are stronger than my heart.
Starting point is 00:14:46 We're going to copyright some of these. Something like this. My eyes are stronger. That's a t-shirt. Than my heart. Hi guys, it's cocktail hour and this week's cocktail is a bloody Negroni. To make this drink, you'll need three quarters an ounce of gin, three quarters an ounce of Campari, three quarters an ounce of sweet vermouth, and three quarters an ounce of gin, three quarters an ounce of Campari, three quarters an ounce of sweet vermouth and three quarters an ounce of blood orange juice.
Starting point is 00:15:09 I know last week's cocktail also had blood orange juice, but guess what? They're in season and my neighbor has a blood orange tree. Plus, they're really good. You will stir all ingredients with ice and garnish with a blood orange slice. Cheers. Yeah. OK, so tell me about this movie, Sammy. What have you got? Because I know...
Starting point is 00:15:28 Oh, gosh. I don't have much trivia. I know that it was shot in New Zealand, which surprised me. It is set in Alaska, northern Alaska. Those are different. And this story was originally... Steve Niles, the writer,
Starting point is 00:15:46 pitched it as a film for a while and was rejected a lot and so wrote it into a comic book. Smart. And then- You hear that, people? Hear that? Comics. Yeah. And then one of the studios that rejected him were like, wait, what's this comic?
Starting point is 00:15:59 And turned it into a movie. Oh, wow. Okay. I never heard that work around, but that sounds- A little roundabout way to get it done sure interesting put the middleman back in yeah that's the secret an extra step i have a bunch of rom-com ideas that i can't wait to turn into comics hell yeah amazing um and the vampires in this movie speak a completely original language created for the film with the help of a linguistics professor at a New Zealand university.
Starting point is 00:16:30 Oh, that's why they went. I'm sure the payoff for that was huge, right? You know what? It was off-putting. The language they speak in, it feels like something we should know, but scary enough that you're like, I shouldn't know this. Okay. So it does actually work.
Starting point is 00:16:50 It was worth it. I think it was worth it. And I would say the sound design mixes with their voices and screams a lot and music. It kind of blends together. The sound design in this is really, really great. But also the language. Can we talk about the parts of the movie already or no? Yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:17:09 Yeah, let's do it. All right. My favorite line and a line that I quote all the time from this movie is because these vampires speak this other language, there's only one moment where they speak English, or there's a couple of small moments, but one main moment where they do speak English and it's terrifying
Starting point is 00:17:28 so I think that's why that would be so jarring to you all of a sudden yeah then you're like oh they understand choosing to speak in a language they're significantly smarter than us yeah are we gonna watch the trailer I think I'm gonna watch the trailer I wanna watch the goddamn
Starting point is 00:17:44 trailer Are we going to watch the trailer? I think we're going to watch the trailer. Let's watch the trailer. I want to watch the goddamn trailer. Somebody! Help! Help! I saw them. They're decent. Do we... Vampires here? Vampires don't exist, Jake.
Starting point is 00:18:06 That cold ain't the weather. That's death approaching. We're tearing through everyone's home. We can last a month. Okay, wow. Oh, I am really excited to hear about this movie. That trailer was like, especially the music, it was like very rock and roll.
Starting point is 00:18:40 Oh, yeah. It's very 2007. Yes. Like rap rock. very 2007. Yes. Like rap rock. Rap rock. Yes. I could tell by the fashion choices that were made. There were a lot of baggy long pants. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:52 It was nice. And Josh Hartnett. And Josh Hartnett. Just nice stovepipe pants. Yeah. It just goes straight down. You don't know where the knee is. You just know that it bends.
Starting point is 00:19:05 It starts at a hip, it ends at a foot. What's happening in between? The rest is just pants. Oh, my legs, they're pants. And it also, it looked almost, I guess because it takes place at night, but it all looked almost like black and white the whole movie. It looked like there was a lot of color in it. It was blue and the blood all looked very black.
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Starting point is 00:22:53 see is not correct really yeah um so yeah it just it starts with um telling us that we're isolated 80 miles away from anything else yeah cut off every winter for 30 days of night and this is a real thing that happens and it's fucking terrifying and what a great place to set a horror film oh absolutely about vampires especially especially about these yeah we start with seeing um ben foster who is great in everything jenna and i were like he's so fucking good yeah all the time anyways he's um looking out at an abandoned ship um for the vessel heads out there and sammy loves ships and i'm like are we getting into a vessel film here we're not but i was excited to see one nonetheless is there a lot of vessel heads that listen to this podcast i don didn't even know Vesselhead. We coined Vesselhead.
Starting point is 00:23:46 We're trying to build a movement. Vesselheads. Not me, us. Vesselheads. My eyes are bigger than my heart. Sammy has a thing for ships. Let's just say that. Vesselheads.
Starting point is 00:24:00 Vesselheads. Yeah, I'm a Vesselhead. Trying to create a very specific community. Hashtag Vesselhead. heads vessel heads yeah i'm trying to create a very specific community yeah hashtag vessel head um and he is wild looking his teeth are crazy ben foster he's on his own he's looking like he's up to no good yes then we see josh hartnett who i watched the entire movie assuming his name was Evan. It's not. It's Eben with a B. What? Okay. Did you know this?
Starting point is 00:24:28 I did not know that. Wait. Who calls him Eben correctly? Everybody. Because I scrolled through. I like went through it again today to like take notes. And they're all saying Eben. And it just sounds.
Starting point is 00:24:40 I just assumed they were saying Eben. Yeah. Yeah. For a short time. For Ebenezer? Like that's not a name. Yeah. I don't know. But it really threw me. I was like, wait, what? I do were saying Eben for short for Ebenezer. That's not a name. I don't know, but it really threw me. I was like, wait, what? I do know an Eben.
Starting point is 00:24:49 I know an Eben too, actually. Is it short for something? I don't know. I don't know. I would be crazy if it was short for Ebenezer. It'd be crazy if it weren't. Can you imagine? Anyway, okay. So Eben. I had never heard the name before
Starting point is 00:25:05 I think you can just call him Josh Hartnett throughout this or Josh Josh Jobs Jobs Jobs okay so what's he doing
Starting point is 00:25:20 we start with him and Billy they're cops and they find a pile of cell phones that have been burned. And they're like, this is weird. That's it.
Starting point is 00:25:35 A little bit of a great joke of like, huh, your roaming charges joke or something. Someone must have been real mad about those roaming charges. I remember it being like a very like, okay okay we're getting the comedy out with the partner this is their vibe yeah this is their vibe there might be some hijinks throughout no no no i think that's where it starts is that the is that the fun and games portion i think that actor gets fired after that scene okay it wasn't in the script.
Starting point is 00:26:07 He ripped and he got fired. Hey, man, do me a favor. But they kept it in. It's a horror movie. I know you're local. Know the movie, my friend. Yeah, don't pepper in your own thing. It's based off a comic book, right?
Starting point is 00:26:18 Those are funnies. Funny pages. The funnies. The funny pages. They're going around town and kind of shutting things down because a lot of people leave this town for the 30 days um as you should yeah and so they change the population of the town sign and he's like why are you doing that nobody cares and he's like it's tradition and he changes it from like 500 to like 120 because i guess most people leave is the implication that the vampires come every year are we gonna get to get to that? Sorry, am I jumping ahead?
Starting point is 00:26:45 We'll get to it. And actually, I'm not. They go somewhere every year for sure. Not always this town. No, I don't think it's this town. It's not this town. Somewhere in Alaska. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:56 Because they know that. So you don't really know when they're going to come for you. Right. Well, they don't know any. There's not even any. Well, they burn the cell phones. Yes. So they're not communicating.
Starting point is 00:27:04 Right. know any there's not even any well they burn the cell phones yes so they're not communicating right um so then we meet stella who is um the fire marshal and that we get some info that she's separated from ebben yeah josh hartnett yeah yeah josh like marriage separated yes and they're like like she's talking to someone are you ever gonna tell me what's going on with you and ebben and like why aren't you guys speaking and she's like no i gotta get out of here i gotta make sure i'm like not here for these 30 days like i'm leaving right um and then we see a shot of some huskies and it's like uh 10 dogs you guys know how dogs fair and horror films yeah this isn't gonna be good for them. Right, right, right, right. All ten of these dogs die
Starting point is 00:27:45 instantly. Instantly? It's wild. It's just like a shot of a knife and all the dogs get stabbed to death right off, right out the gate. It's really crazy. Why aren't they getting eaten alive? I guess the dogs can fight back. I think, you know what? You know what I think it is? I think it's so that the dogs don't, like, alert
Starting point is 00:28:01 the humans to their So maybe they don't want dog blood to eat. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We better shut these dogs up. Yeah, yeah. Then we're seeing Eben going around town. Oh, sweet Eben.
Starting point is 00:28:14 Everyone likes him. Everyone loves him. Well, there's one guy that's kind of... His name is Bo, and he gives him a parking ticket or something. Sure his name's not Vo? Yeah, it's Bo. Who knows? Who knows? Anything goes right now. Sure his name's not Vo. Yeah it's Vo. Who knows. Anything goes right now. It's Eben and Vo.
Starting point is 00:28:28 Eben and Vo. Yeah. It gives him a ticket. Bo's I don't know what do we call him curmudgeon-y? Yes. Like a grumpy man that lives further out of town. So he's like if I give him a ticket it'll make him feel more a part of the town. Which is like what? Oh Eben. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:44 And then Stella is driving to the airport she's got to make it before this last plane or she's stuck here for 30 days she will be i bet and the fucking emily what the fuck sorry the craziest truck that has like a blade saw what is this truck um it's like it feels like a different movie. For a moment. It's like Final Destination for a second. Okay. There's a couple of moments in the movie where you're like, just to get to the movie.
Starting point is 00:29:13 Yeah. Like, thinking of the, kniving the wolves with the phones and all that stuff. Like, to just kind of like pepper in what's happening. Uh-huh. Is like, kind of huge. They couldn't figure out another way to do it. So like, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:29:27 a huge crazy car. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's as if it has an enormous chainsaw in the front of it. It looks extremely dangerous. It's like mad. Matt.
Starting point is 00:29:36 It's a mad man. Yes. It's so insane. And it crashes right into her car. Okay. And it's pretty scary. Jump scare. I jumped on purpose.
Starting point is 00:29:44 I was holding hot tea. I almost spilled it. Oh my gosh. Well, that's brave. Yeah. I mean, it's pretty scary. Jump scare. I jumped. On purpose? I was holding hot tea. I almost spilled it. Oh my gosh. Well, that's brave. Yeah, I mean, that's how you watch a horror movie. Piping hot tea. Piping hot tea.
Starting point is 00:29:52 Seriously holding a mug of hot tea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something campy. Some meal tea. Something in the oven that needs to go out immediately. Like all of these things are perfect for a horror movie.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Yeah, it's perfect. Wait, does it run into her on purpose? Do we know? No, it's like a townsperson. He's like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I'll call my mom. She can come drive you. And then she's like, but you know, she's pretty slow.
Starting point is 00:30:15 And so she calls Eben. It's a tense phone call. She's like, I need a ride to the airport. And we can talk if you want on the way to the airport. And he calls his friend Billy. Billy, by the the way has the whitest teeth in the world good for billy yeah yeah yeah way before any of this um congrats yeah and eban just like says billy can you go get stella like i'm not driving her um so stella she does miss her flight she does she does miss it wow and it's not coming billy's like you can stay with uh me and my wife and the price will be you have to tell us what
Starting point is 00:30:51 happened between you and eban yeah um eban is back back at the station we meet his brother and his grandmother um so he's a local he's a local he's staying there for the winter he's yeah and because he's a cop um he's one of the cops that has to stay i feel like he might be like what is the head cop sheriff yeah yeah i think he's the vessel head of the he seems too young to be the sheriff so young yeah yeah young pope young sheriff it's all in there um and so then uh his grandma who's in the playstation says there's a been on call of vandalism and he goes to this like plant to check out this vandalism and there we meet wilson just a lot of characters in this movie. We meet Wilson, who's mad about his... Someone has destroyed his helicopter.
Starting point is 00:31:47 Yep. And the parts have been thrown into what they refer to as a muffin monster, which is essentially like a wood chipper, but like a metal chipper. It's like a really intense blade thing. Oh, no, I don't like this. Like a garbage disposal for metal. But it's huge. It's enormous. And a really intense blade thing. Oh, no. I don't like this. Like a garbage disposal for metal. But it's huge. It's enormous.
Starting point is 00:32:07 And it looks like big teeth. Oh, no. You know. Oh, no. It looks like a Saw movie weapon. Torture device. Got it. Got it.
Starting point is 00:32:15 Yeah. Oh, nothing. Chekhov's muffin monster. Yeah, Chekhov's muffin monster. We all know it. You've seen it a million times. The muffin monster. You hate to see it.
Starting point is 00:32:25 But yeah, so again, it establishes like, oh, you can't get out of here because of the helicopter and it just so happens. There's also a big muffin monster. Then there's a muffin monster. One truck, no more flights. No cell phones. No cell phones. Then we go to the electric plant and the man that's like manning the security cameras or
Starting point is 00:32:45 whatever, does power go out or something? And he's like, goes outside with flashlight. This is a scene in the trailer and you see kind of people moving behind him. Shadows around him. Shadows. And then all of a sudden he's surrounded. He's like, who are, what's going on? Who are you people?
Starting point is 00:33:01 Which is what you see in the trailer. And then they lunge at him and you see them bite his neck. Yes. Very violently. And they have a lot of sharp teeth. A lot. Like shark teeth almost. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:13 They got shark mouths. They're not sexy vampires. They're not. No, no, no. Then we go to the diner and the strangers, the strangers, what they call him, Ben Foster's character is like sitting at the bar being real creepy and he's like i'll get like a whiskey or whatever and um they're like we don't have alcohol during this time because like it's hard enough without or like without alcohol what
Starting point is 00:33:37 it's hard enough to not have alcohol i was enraged as well yeah Yeah. Yeah. Excuse me? She threw her hot tea because of it. That seems unrealistic. It's constantly night and we aren't drinking? I know. Yeah. Torture. Yikes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:33:53 And so then he says, all right. What is his accent? I can't remember it, but it's good. Yeah. It's McConaughey. It is kind of McConaughey. It's McConaughey. It's like, I'll take some raw hamburger meat then.
Starting point is 00:34:06 Get me some raw hamburger meat. Ew. And Josh Hartnett walks in and is like, all right, buddy, let's settle down. You're creeping everybody out. What's the deal? Yeah. And they get in kind of a little standoff. And he's like, let me take you down to the station.
Starting point is 00:34:21 And Ben Foster kind of gets in his face. And then Stella pops up behind and puts a gun to his head, the stranger's head, and is like, no, you're going to want to do what he says. And then they together escort him back to the police station. And then on the drive there, she's like, my car got wrecked by the crazy chainsaw truck thing. And he's like, yeah, it's been a hell of a day.
Starting point is 00:34:46 And in the backseat, seat he goes just you wait so he knows yeah how does he know whatever i don't need to know that we'll find out maybe or we won't i don't know i think we will we do cool um so back at the police station they're kind of trying to figure out where he came from they're like you didn't get here on a plane he has a different accent I bet this is a town that doesn't see a lot of visitors not during this time especially
Starting point is 00:35:14 so they can't figure out where he's from they put him in a jail cell yeah they put him in a cell because they don't know where he's from what do we do with you okay so we see him in the trailer. He's very trusting. The little tiny cell.
Starting point is 00:35:29 Yes. Yeah. We get some info that grandma has been growing pot because she has cancer. He finds pot on his little brother and is like, what the heck? And he's like, it's grandma. It helps her with her cancer. That'll come back. Thank you. Yeah. It's a movie about weed yeah this is actually a stoner yeah yeah yeah hell yeah it's so scary what happens um and then like phone lines are down
Starting point is 00:36:01 and is the power out the power power, I think, goes out. Maybe they have backup generators, so it's just that the phones are down. I can't totally remember. Okay. But they get some... For some reason, he needs to go to check on Gus's... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:15 Okay. Something seems off. Oh, yeah, the backup generator pops on. Yeah, so he's like, let me go check out what happened. Drives on out there. And Gus's head is on a spike. Decapitated head. Wait, who was Gus again?
Starting point is 00:36:32 The power guy. He got eaten. We saw him get bitten in the neck. Gus is the power guy. Oh, no. They put his head on a spike. They put his head on a spike. They have a message. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:39 So they're not hiding. They're like. They're saying we're here now. We're here now. Oh, and sorry. Before that happened, the stranger Ben Foster has a good little line or monologue type thing
Starting point is 00:36:50 where he goes, he's like laying down saying creepy weird shit. He says, check on Gus. We'll board the windows, try to hide. They're coming. So he even knew this fucking guy's name. Well, they said it. They're like, we're going to go check on this.
Starting point is 00:37:06 Oh, and he was like, we're going to do it. And he says, this time they're coming, and this time they're going to take me with them. For all that I have done. Is he like a big fan freak of these vampires? He's a fan freak. Ew. Yeah, he's a fan freak.
Starting point is 00:37:21 Oh, I don't like that one little bit. So he's on their side. He thinks they're going to give him something. What could they possibly give him? Immortality. I don't think they can do that. They're going to eat him, obviously. Maybe they can.
Starting point is 00:37:34 Yeah. We'll see. We'll see. Eben is obviously very disturbed by this head on a spike. He's driving around telling everyone, go inside. If you have a generator, go inside. If you don't have a generator, meet in the diner. I don't know what's going on.
Starting point is 00:37:46 Everybody stay inside. And goes back to the station. Oh, no. First, we see the couple who had their dogs were killed. All the huskies were theirs. And they're in there. Oh, it's a personal husky. That's sad.
Starting point is 00:38:00 It was like all, yes. It wasn't a wild pack of huskies. No. They were on personal huskies. No. Personal huskies. Personal huskies. And they're in their house and Vampire jumps right through the window.
Starting point is 00:38:13 We see this in the trailer. This is in the trailer. Already upset that their huskies have all been stabbed. They're already having a bad time. If it was one husky you'd have like a bad lunch. Ten huskies.
Starting point is 00:38:28 Multiply that by ten. Yeah. Got ten dead huskies. Yeah. It's bad. It's bad. And a dead wife now. About to be a dead wife.
Starting point is 00:38:37 She gets snatched right out of the window and pulled under the like crawl space under the houses. I don't think we see either of them really die but you get the idea. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. either of them really die, but you get the idea.
Starting point is 00:38:45 Yes, yeah. Okay. You see them getting pulled into the darkness, basically. Yes. That's not good. Then we're back in the station. Eben's brother, I think his name is Jake, and the grandmother and Stella
Starting point is 00:38:57 are there playing like a board game. And the stranger in the cell is like taunting them. And the brother throws a piece at him and he says thank you for throwing me that plastic piece i'll be able to use it to like break out of here and the brother like panics and goes to like run to grab it and he grabs the brother by the neck against the uh bars Like a pull-in situation. Yeah, and he's like strangling him. And then Josh Hartnett walks in, just in the nick of time, shoots him in the shoulder. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:39:34 And then walks into his cell and handcuffs him up to the bars. And this man was arrested for being weird, yes? Yeah. I think he has no crime at this point. At this point, he just has weird teeth. He's now been shot on his handcuff. Cool, cool, cool. I mean, to be fair, he did grab-
Starting point is 00:39:51 I guess strangling a child. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's probably a crime. Okay, great, great, great, great. I mean, I don't think they're wrong, but- Right. You know, in the eyes of the law. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:04 Alaskan law is a little different. Especially Alaskan New Zealand law. It's a little different. I'm sure they've got their own set of principles. Yeah. So do they have any idea what's going on at this point? Are they asking questions? I mean, like, is anyone like, why did Gus's head end up on a stake?
Starting point is 00:40:20 Is that like a question? I kind of like that about this movie. It doesn't really take too much time to explain anything to you. No. They're just like, oh, we're in it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, at that point, they're just like, what? Josh Ebbin is just like, what's going on with this head? This is messed up. We've got this weirdo in this cell.
Starting point is 00:40:36 So it does kind of set up like as an audience member, you know that they're vampires. Of course. Yes. But I think in that world, maybe Josh Hartnett's performance isn't like this let us know this yet but it feels like maybe it's just like a bunch of punk like like just guys like him right like a stranger guy right as far as he knows these are just some freaks it's not nothing supernatural right yeah this is so it hasn't fully passed
Starting point is 00:41:03 that line yet we haven't seen the eye. I don't think we've seen how crazy they look. I don't think Josh Hartnett has seen what they look like yet. Right. So then they get they drive back to the station and brother and grandma
Starting point is 00:41:16 are gone and the station is covered in blood. Oh my God. No. The stranger is still there still handcuffed and looks very sad and he says they
Starting point is 00:41:28 didn't take oh didn't take me with them um yeah we feel really bad we feel really bad that's the right no i don't remember him but they oh no the grandmother and the brother and then we get our first scene meeting the vampires and we hear the language danny houston is the main one who i just learned today angelica houston's brother oh really oh didn't know it i didn't know that either i know i was really shocked um but they kind of look alike and it makes sense yeah he in a weird way kind of looks like vincent d'onofrio yes i can I see that. But Danny Houston is really great in this and I really enjoyed this whole performance.
Starting point is 00:42:08 Does he do other things? Is he in other things? He's in succession. The most important of all. Oh, the most important of all. Oh my God. I don't know it. Never heard of it.
Starting point is 00:42:17 Eugene, really? I mean, I know of it. But you haven't seen it. I've never seen it. It's worth seeing. But so just his like body movements and everything are so good. Yes. And so they look.
Starting point is 00:42:29 He's good at being like creepy. He's very creepy. Their eyes are all black. All black. Shark teeth. Shark teeth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they have nasty long nails.
Starting point is 00:42:38 Ew, ew, ew. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like big heavy brows. Yes. Like prosthetics. Pterodactyl nose. In the scariest way because like. It looks really scary.
Starting point is 00:42:47 You can just see it from a distance. Yeah. So it just like has that shadow. It's almost like they're just off from being normal humans. Yeah. Like it's not so crazy. Right. But it is like.
Starting point is 00:42:58 Right. Where if they're far, far enough away, you're like, oh, that's another human. And then they get closer and you're like oh no I'm in trouble something about this feels wrong yeah yeah yeah okay um and so we get a little vampire exposition great oh you love it and he says
Starting point is 00:43:16 Danny Houston says this is all subtitled by subtitled in the crazy language oh cool and he says the heads must be separated from their bodies do not turn them. Oh, so if you don't do that, then you get turned. They'll become vampires. Yes.
Starting point is 00:43:30 And he doesn't want them to. Correct. Josh Hartnett's going to be a vampire at the end of this movie. Oh, ooh, prediction. He's going to turn into a helicopter. Oh. If you want the end now, I'm just letting you know. Stella's going to turn into a muffin monster.
Starting point is 00:43:45 And then they become robots together. And then it's like a Netflix kid. It's a Transformers movie. They realize that the truck was their son already. Oh, no. Emotional film. Emotional film. It was a comic first.
Starting point is 00:43:59 Right, right, right. Okay, so you have to cut their heads off. Otherwise, they'll become vampires. Right. Honestly, not on Twilight. Sorry. Does anyone want to try to do the voice? The language?
Starting point is 00:44:11 The language? I don't even know. I don't even know. Is it more like Latin-y? It sounds like an old language. It does. Okay. He's their leader.
Starting point is 00:44:19 He's the leader. There's like a female vampire that seems to be, I don't know, his love interest. I don't know. Sure, sure, sure. How many of them are there? Kind of a lot. There's like, yeah. At least, I feel like at first we probably see 10 to 15.
Starting point is 00:44:37 Yeah. Okay. But there's like five-ish main ones. Yes. Okay. We see in the diner where people are gathering and we see that his brother jake is still alive and he's in the diner with the rest of the people and um is he is he in bad shape no he's okay oh okay um everyone's very scared and um we see another scene of those
Starting point is 00:45:01 danny houston and the female lady vampire killing another couple in their house they're basically going house to house just killing people yeah i mean there's only a hundred and however many people there's not that many houses yeah not that many houses um but this one i like because after he kills them he uses his fingernail to play a record that's playing and somehow that's the call to all the rest of the vampires. They get very excited in this moment. Yeah. And from there go on to like basically kill everybody. It was very like, I mean, like thematically it was awesome. The idea of that, that would do it now that I'm hearing that.
Starting point is 00:45:39 It's a little wild. All right. I'm going to play some music. When I find a house that has a record player. That'll be your cue. That'll be your cue. But if I don't find a house, everybody just kind of eat. Also, and like you have to listen for record versus CD.
Starting point is 00:45:57 Yeah. Don't. If you hear a CD playing, no, no, no, that's not it. Y'all heard when I DJ, right? Yeah. It sounds very specific it's my nail it's a certain song you know what it sounds like it's a little bit okay okay good good good also the implication is they all have like superpower hearing yeah they can hear this
Starting point is 00:46:17 record player and i would imagine we don't know what time of day it is because it's always night so it doesn't really matter doesn't doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It was more of a continuity of the movie than it was. I don't know. When was this shot? Who cares? A lot of night shoots. Okay.
Starting point is 00:46:32 Okay. And so they basically kill everybody in the town. There's like a light who's not in the diner. It's like a montage type. Vampire killer montage. There's like a very cool overhead shot where you just see like craziness. Yeah. Them going in. And then that's when you see that like stream of blood, like all of that kind of stuff,
Starting point is 00:46:49 because it's just like now that the record's playing, which again goes into like this kind of, you know, cool. Rap rock. Rap rock. Situation. 2007. 2007. Rap rock of them going on a killing spree.
Starting point is 00:47:03 And it's but it's brutal. Like you really see it. This is when you see what I was worried about. We could see. Yeah, but it's stylized really well. It just feels scary. It feels more like they're just taking over than anything. Right.
Starting point is 00:47:18 So they're essentially killing everyone who's not in the diner. Yeah. Pretty much. They're killing everybody except for everybody that was the large amount of people that were introduced. Previously introduced. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:47:30 Killing off all the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All of the New Zealand. All the. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:34 Extras. Yeah. All the below the line crew. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so Eben and Stella arrive at the diner to check on everybody. And he sees that Jake
Starting point is 00:47:46 is still alive. Nice little reunion. And he says they killed grandma. Grandma's dead. And they're like, okay, we got they're going house to house. But then they're like, wait, where's her weed though? But also, why didn't they kill the brother? I think he maybe just got away.
Starting point is 00:48:02 They were busy. They were preoccupied. We didn't see it, so I can't say for sure they got tired after the grandma because there was a lot of weed in her system so they were like whoa what happened let's just chill and then the stranger was like hey take me they're like man you're killing me right now
Starting point is 00:48:18 we're just fucking chilling I'm just trying to hear a song from my boy who's DJing over there. Like, just fucking, you're working too hard. You are ruining the vibe. Bitch. I mean, that's a subtext. This is a genre bending film and I fucking love it.
Starting point is 00:48:40 That's why I'm saying you'd be in it the whole time. They're like, we need to find somewhere else to hide. And someone says there's so-and-so's house a few doors down has an attic with a hidden door that you can't see. And he's already boarded up all his windows for winter. So if we could just get in there, that would be a good hiding spot. And Eben and Stella are like, well, we better get some weapons first before we go there. Correct.
Starting point is 00:49:09 So they drive so fast to get them. And then in, I think maybe my favorite scene in the movie, the car stops as if something pulls it from behind. They're going like 50 miles an hour. Flying. And it just stops and then lifts up and these vampires are just pushing it up with their crazy
Starting point is 00:49:30 strength. Oh my god, how many? Six or so. Oh no. Maybe more. And they like push it entirely vertical. It's not looking good for them. No. Do they have the weapons in their car by now? No. They're en route.
Starting point is 00:49:46 Okay. Oh, and also, everybody at this point in the Dinah conversation has accepted the fact that these are all vampires. Oh, right. How do they come... Has anyone seen them? I think it's Jake, the 15-year-old brother that's like... I think they're vampires.
Starting point is 00:50:02 Oh, because he saw Grandma die. Yes. And maybe this is a legend we've heard of before? I'm trying to think. I just remember at that point because we have all seen it as the audience members. So you're not questioning. You're like, yeah. As soon as they kind of say it for a second, I think I just kind of was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:18 Now you guys know. You guys know. You guys know these guys, though. They don't dwell on it. We don't need to unpack it. Right, right. Yeah. So they flip their car upside down and bow comes in with like a snow a snow plow and like smashes a whole bunch of them against the wall and i think saves them and they get into
Starting point is 00:50:39 the snow plow they're like shooting some of them yeah, Beau is the one that he gave the ticket to in the beginning to make him feel like more part of the town. He's a curmudgeon guy who is from further uptown. Great. Even more remote. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. He would be like the Creole character. He would be like the you know, like the... Slightly different accent.
Starting point is 00:51:00 Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little more local know-how. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, who? Oh, that's the alligator man. Oh, yeah, that's A little more local know-how. It's like, oh, that's the alligator man. Oh, yeah, that's me. He's the alligator man for sure. The alligator man. There's two different alligator men in here. The stranger and then this alligator.
Starting point is 00:51:13 Yeah. It's all making sense now. Yeah. I'm so glad that you're here because of the way I'm explaining this movie sounds like such a different movie. Well, there's an alligator man. There's another alligator man. There's two different alligator men. But then there's shark teeth people, right? Well, there's an alligator man. There's another alligator man. There's two different alligator minds. But then there's shark teeth people, right?
Starting point is 00:51:28 And then there's a DJ. Anyways, it is so scary. So, okay. So they all make it back to the attic. And did they get their weapons or no? I don't think they did. No. Okay.
Starting point is 00:51:43 They just had to get out of there. Yeah. No weapons. No weapons. But actually, maybe Bo has some weapons. weapons or no i don't think they did no okay they just had to get out of there yeah no weapons no weapons but actually maybe beau has some weapons and and um eban still has his like sheriff weapons okay he still has his stuff in the truck of his thing yeah um sheriff weapons i like it was like who's the head of the police? Who's the leader? Oh, the sheriff. The sheriff with his sheriff weapons. I could call it a gun, but it's a sheriff weapon. It's a sheriff weapon.
Starting point is 00:52:09 It's different. Sounds cooler. Hell yeah. And then we see Danny Houston finally going to see the stranger in his cell. Oh, okay. Some context. He says, you did all that I asked, and now we'll take care of you. Oh, they're going to kill him.
Starting point is 00:52:25 Man, he just snaps his neck. Of course he does. Yeah, they don't have an allegiance. They don't care. What did he ask him to do, I wonder? Well, I'll come back to it.
Starting point is 00:52:33 So he's like a vampire fan, essentially. Yeah, you saw what we do in the shadows, right? He's like the familiar. He's a familiar. Okay. Which is why he wasn't
Starting point is 00:52:43 working on his look. Because he was like, eventually I'm going to have this big forehead. Oh my God. Why even bother? Familiar. He's a familiar. Okay. Which is why he wasn't working on his look. Right. Because he was like, eventually I'm going to have this big forehead. Oh my God. Why even bother it? My teeth are fucked up, but they're going to be shark teeth soon. They'll be shark teeth in a matter of minutes. Who cares?
Starting point is 00:52:55 Over the course of this evening, which is 30 days, something's going to happen that's going to change me. I'm going to have some shark teeth. Yeah, I'll be fine. It's fine. And then the passage of time from here is a little crazy because the movie does take place over the 30 days. 30 days, yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:09 Oh, okay. But it's like a huge time jump. A lot of big time jumps where it's like, it feels nonstop, but there's like weeks in between. But time has passed. Yes, okay. And they're in the attic and time has passed. Well, they move around a lot. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:23 But okay, so they are in the attic and I guess some amount of time passes and they're like, we need food. Yes. And there's, we think, 20 of them, right? That haven't died? In the attic, there's only like eight. Oh my, OK. But there's still kind of like people that are like kind of hiding out and able to like
Starting point is 00:53:39 stay away from these vampires who at this point, even though weeks have passed and they think they've gotten everyone, I guess they keep on looking at the population sign and being like, how many did you have? How many did you have? Start with you. How many? You'd think they would move on to
Starting point is 00:54:00 another town if they've gotten almost everybody, but they were just like, no, we gotta get everybody. If they're trying to also, like, it feels like, how much food do they need all at once? My dude's like, spread it out. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. We're in Alaska. There aren't a lot of towns. Yeah, but they're intermittent fasting, so it's like
Starting point is 00:54:15 they gotta get it all now. Binge fast. Binge fast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, fair, fair. Okay, so there's like a woman they hear someone calling for help. This is amazing. It's so good. This is one of my favorite scenes of the movie.
Starting point is 00:54:34 And a little part of it is in the trailer. Oh, it's that woman walking through the snow. She's walking through the snow and she's just like, help, help. And you can just see people kind of looking through like where they're hiding. Hiding places. Of just being like, oh my gosh, she's out there by herself. And essentially she's bait. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:57 You see the vampires like jumping around on the rooftop. Oh, they're like intentionally not eating her. They're not killing her because they want to see who she lures out of hiding places. Right. How did they get her to do that? I think probably threatening to kill her.
Starting point is 00:55:12 You won't die yet. You won't die yet. Yeah. Or we'll save you or we'll spare you. We'll spare you. They won't. No, they're not the type.
Starting point is 00:55:19 They're not the type. At all. If I understand. Yeah. But that's one of the scariest things because once you see them that they're doing and you know that they're that smart too. You're like, oh boy, this is scary.
Starting point is 00:55:31 They're thinking like long term in a way that you don't want violent creatures to be thinking. And you're also like, oh no, they do want everybody. They could eat her right now but they don't want to. Who do you have? Okay, you saw that dude. There's definitely a couple more.
Starting point is 00:55:45 There's more dudes. We gotta find them. Let's get her out there. So Eben goes out. Oh no, Eben. Not to like save her. I don't know quite why he's going out. At this point, I'm like, I'm not going out for that lady. Yeah. Absolutely not.
Starting point is 00:56:01 He doesn't go out to save her? But for some reason he's out. Doesn't make any sense. Is he going to save her but for some reason he's out doesn't make any sense is he going to save her i think he is he was trying to like sort of see what the deal is yeah like kind of like assess it and then just gotta be like i'm not gonna go all the way up yeah yeah yeah i don't care about this woman but i'm just gonna go outside to see the surroundings just needs a little fresh air um and then that would be fair. And then while he's outside, he sees the husky dad under the crawlspace of
Starting point is 00:56:30 one of the houses. He's still alive. Oh, no. The husky dad? Yes, the man who owned the ten huskies from before. Whose wife got pulled under. I wasn't sure if he meant the man or the husky. Like a husky. A father husky? Oh, you meant like just a thick dude?
Starting point is 00:56:50 He's like a husky dad. He's just kind of like a husky. I don't know how else to describe him. Big boned, maybe? Like a thick dad. T-H-I-C-C. Thick dad. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:57:04 And he kind of is like, oh, my God, you're still alive. Like, come here, come here. And he's like like oh yeah but i'm i'm just so hungry and he's like we'll get you food we'll get you some food no no and then he sees his eyes and his teeth and his eyes are all black teeth not yet not yet he's not yet he's like still kind of himself maybe it takes a while to morph into a full dude. Yes. Do we imagine their face gets crazy as they become? Yeah. I think the brow takes time. The brow takes some time.
Starting point is 00:57:34 The eyes are first. Eyes are first. Teeth are second. Teeth are probably not. Brow probably just like... I think those nails probably take a while too. You earn the brow, you earn the nails. The nails are some years. And to get them to play records is, yeah. You earn the brow, you earn the nails. Yeah, the nails are some years. Years. And to get them to play records
Starting point is 00:57:47 is like centuries. You gotta learn that. You've got to learn that. You've got a long time. Yeah. Not everyone can play a record with their nails. Not everybody can have
Starting point is 00:57:55 that kind of ability. And where does the sound come out? Your mouth? What are you? A brontosaurus? Is that Flintstones? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:03 Okay, okay. So he sees his eyes and they're bad. And then eventually he does like go, he goes for him. The husky dad like lunges. The husky dad goes for Josh Hartnett? Yes. And like chases him and gets, chases him through this backyard and gets caught up in like a swing set.
Starting point is 00:58:21 Oh. And while he's tangled. My God, to have a swing set in alaska come on yeah there's some summer times for what for like what a week um he grabs he finds like a an axe on the ground and he first axes the guy in the arm. And I yelled, well, that's not going to do anything. Yeah. And then he goes right for the neck. And it's pretty gnarly. Oh, because you have to separate the head.
Starting point is 00:58:51 Well, he doesn't know that. That's true. But he's just trying to kill him. And he does kill him. Gets him. He gets him. And then back. Now he's out in the open.
Starting point is 00:59:00 He is. It's hard to keep track of all their movements. There's a lot of movements in this movie. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. So we go back to the attic. Wilson, the one with the helicopter, his dad has Alzheimer's.
Starting point is 00:59:15 And in the attic, he wakes up. Oh, he's going to speak some fucking truth, isn't he? No. Yes. I mean. Did I just Call the goddamn movie No no okay no he just Um like doesn't
Starting point is 00:59:31 Because you have to be really quiet And he like doesn't know where he is and he's Like calling for his wife it's really Sad and they're like mom Mom died like a long time Ago dad and he's like I gotta get Out of here and he's talking so loud and they're all like oh no it's very stressful very bad and um and i think they like settle him
Starting point is 00:59:54 down and then later while they're sleeping oh josh hartnett gets back goes to sleep he's exhausted from killing that guy he got home safe he got home safe okay um in the meantime also we saw the woman who was used as bait get killed. Get killed in a really This didn't work. Yeah. They're just like, all right, well. You didn't do a good job being bait. She's like, when they come up to her, she's like, please God. And he's like, God?
Starting point is 01:00:16 Oh, I love that. This is. Are you being Danny Houston right now? Yes. I saw it in your goddamn eyes. And that and this is the best line in English. Oh, okay. In the whole movie. Okay. And she's like, oh, God save me, God. And this is the best line in English. Oh, okay. In the whole movie. And she's like, oh, God save me.
Starting point is 01:00:29 And then he laughs. Kind of smirks. And goes, God. No, God. And he has those eyes that are just black. But he looks up to the sky. And he's just kind of looking around and just being like. I don't see him.
Starting point is 01:00:44 It's not going to rain today. But and he's just kind of looking around and just being like I don't see it's not gonna rain today you know but it's like just his like kind of and he kind of tilts his head and gives you this look of like you're fucking dead yeah are you kidding me it's very condescending the scariest it's very best line
Starting point is 01:00:59 I say it all the time whenever somebody says like god I go no go that's pretty scary no go I'm scared but they like slash her to death I say it all the time. Whenever somebody says, like, God, I go, no, God. That's pretty scary. No, God. I'm scared. But they, like, slash her to death. She dies a very bad way. They, like, fuck with her.
Starting point is 01:01:12 Like, a whole group of, like, ten of them just kind of, like, bounce her around and each, like, slash her with their crazy fingernails to death. It's a little cat-ish. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's like. I think they're trying to still maybe lure people with, like, how violent this death is. Like, see, we're going to really kill her really badly.
Starting point is 01:01:26 Like, sure, you don't want to come save her? No, thank you. It's like, yes, we're extra sure now. Yeah, we're extra sure. Also, yeah, they're like, it's been 20 days. They're just like trying to have a little bit of a good time. There's no more. What else are they going to do?
Starting point is 01:01:39 Yeah. Nothing's happening. So Josh Hartnett gets back to the attic. Everyone's happening. So Josh Hartnett gets back to the attic. Everyone's sleeping. And Stella wakes up to the grandpa walking out. He's leaving the attic. He goes down the stairs. And she's quietly following him, being like, no, let him go.
Starting point is 01:01:55 Let him go. Yeah, kind of let him go. And he's like, I got to go. I got to find Mary. I got to. He's like, bye. And she's like, no, no, no. Come back upstairs.
Starting point is 01:02:03 No, Stella. And he's like, Wilson, come down here. We got to go home. And she's like, no, no, no. Come back upstairs. No, Stella. And he's like, Wilson, come down here. We got to go home. And Wilson's like, dad, dad, dad, no. And they like settle him down. And he's like, OK, well, let me just go to the bathroom. And they're like, OK, you can go to the bathroom, but you can't flush. But whatever.
Starting point is 01:02:17 He goes in and then. And it just stinks in there. That's like a 20 minute scene of them like a bunch of reaction shots they're like oh boy has no one flushed
Starting point is 01:02:33 this is when the sound design really shines yeah it's dumb and dumber it's that scene oh boy really making it scary the movie I'm shocked this movie didn't do better oh boy um no that really making it scary
Starting point is 01:02:46 the movie I'm shocked this movie didn't do better truly I yeah um but
Starting point is 01:02:52 grandpa hops right out that bathroom window which is quite um I feel like a feat for a for a grandfather um
Starting point is 01:02:59 but Wilson goes out and chases him oh Wilson no and Stella's like no no no tries to stop both of them he like slams Stella she like smacks her head no. And Stella's like, no, no, no, tries to stop both of them. He like slams Stella. She like smacks her head on a table.
Starting point is 01:03:08 He's like, I gotta get my dad. the bang wakes up Josh Hartnett. He comes downstairs and a vampire does hear them and comes in the house. Yes. Oh, inside the house. Yes. Oh, no. They've now made too much noise. He gets maybe Wilson. I think he gets Wilson, yeah. It's Oh, no. They've now made too much noise. Yeah. He gets maybe Wilson.
Starting point is 01:03:25 I think he gets Wilson. Yeah. It's just to also just show that now they can't go back to the attic. Right. They've been in places. So it's like, boom. So then everybody's going to have to- So they have to keep moving.
Starting point is 01:03:35 A new place. Start moving. Yeah. Okay. So I think he, but he does get Wilson in the meantime. I think he does. Yeah. And probably the grandpa as well.
Starting point is 01:03:43 Yeah. Because they're not they're not seen again yeah um and we get a little bit of backstory into why into what's happened between stella and eban thank god i was wondering um finally she says something about like i should have done more like i i could have stopped them and he's like people will do anything for family and there's nothing that can get in between that and she says we were like that once and i kind of got the feeling that there was maybe a child that they had that they lost i think so yes oh okay that's sad and it's never really explicitly said josh hartnett looks
Starting point is 01:04:22 like he's 16 in this movie yeah he. He really does. The fact that he has a past life that involves a child that's already dead, that's surprising to me. That's already dead. Yeah. Right.
Starting point is 01:04:32 Crazy. And that's kind of all we get. And he's the sheriff. And he's the sheriff. A lot of things are not lining up, but that's okay. He's the head cop.
Starting point is 01:04:40 He's the head. The cop in charge. The top cop. The top. And he has all the weapons to prove it. Well, yeah, he does. Okay, so then they're like, we got to move to the grocery store.
Starting point is 01:04:52 We need food. It's like blizzarding now. They're using that as cover. They go to the grocery store. They're like getting some supplies and then they hear something. And there is a little girl. Oh, no. Who has been turned into a vampire.
Starting point is 01:05:12 And turns around and says she's killing people. They stumble on her killing people. And she says, you want to play with me now? And lunges at them. And is very crazy crazy it's a real so there's like very strong is a thing we've learned about they're strong they can kind of defy gravity some of them like
Starting point is 01:05:31 big jumps maybe not quite flying but big jumps crazy quads yeah yeah like just long jumps for days yeah crouching tiger hidden dragon yeah yeah walking on top of like yes yes yes yeah yeah yeah okay okay yeah i see it i see it um and so they've still got their axe and this little girl's
Starting point is 01:05:54 like hiding in the shadows it lung she lunges at josh hartnett is he an axe little girl and pins him against the wall i think and he can't. He is pinned with no weapons. None of his sheriff weapons. Oh God. And Jake the brother axes this little girl right in the neck.
Starting point is 01:06:17 It needed to be done. And this kid gives a good performance. How old is he by the way? He looks so upset. he's 15 yeah and he goes into like full body shakes afterwards in a way that really upset me yeah i mean but it's good i mean he's really reacting to having killed a little child that's when scary movies scare me the most when people are having actual real reactions to the things that are happening around them yes that's when it's always the most scary. When the stakes feel so real.
Starting point is 01:06:46 Yeah. Because if everyone doesn't care about anything that's happening, it's like, you don't care either. But as soon as people start really caring, I'm like, I need to leave. I can't be honest. But that introduction of the little girl who also then also kills so now there's like three people.
Starting point is 01:07:02 Oh, right. She probably kills them. I think we're down to Stella. Oh, she kills some of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the grocery store. There was like eight. We're probably down to like five now. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:13 Three of which are Stella, Josh, and Jake. We've still got Bo. We got Bo. Oh, and Bo. What about the Jews? And then we've got like two other women that I don't know their names. Do we have Helicopter Man? No, I think he died.
Starting point is 01:07:25 No, that's Wilson. That's his dad. Oh, that was Wilson. Oh, okay, okay, okay. So we have Alligator Man number one. Right. Some ladies and then the family. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:35 The four three. Yeah. Fuck. Okay, so then after killing this little girl, they're trying to think of a plan and Stella's like, they must not be able to handle sunlight and that's why they had the stranger do things for them and so you kind of put together that those he burned the cell phones in the beginning and killed the huskies killed the dogs he did that okay that makes a lot of sense so he's going in while it's daytime to kind of set things up for them.
Starting point is 01:08:07 He's prepping. Cutting the phone lines. Power lines. Yeah. So they find an ally. Where? Yeah. They find a familiar.
Starting point is 01:08:18 Right. And then that's their sous chef. And that's their sous chef. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So their sous is just like getting the mise en place going yes no if a supernatural evil being like a vampire ever promises you anything yeah they're decline they will decline have you seen interview with a vampire though i all i remember is who is it kristin dunst kristin dunst krist Kristen Dunst and I all I remember her as her being really cute yeah
Starting point is 01:08:45 I mean they're just I mean vampires have had ye years decades to get their game right they got charmed for days they know what they know what to say they know what to say ugly though these ones are ugly so it has to be like good words
Starting point is 01:09:01 yeah and they've got power that's true and they seemingly live forever. And this got this, Stranger had fucked up teeth and was also kind of weird. So like, he's not, you know.
Starting point is 01:09:10 This is an upgrade for him for sure. Yeah, he's like, what am I doing here? They're not, you know, they're not shooting for the stars here. No.
Starting point is 01:09:16 They're not pulling your Jennifer Lawrence's, your Charlize Theron's. Come on. They're not going like, let's just go straight for Josh Hartnett they're like he won't go for it no he won't
Starting point is 01:09:26 let's get where's the freaks give me the freaks yeah they know you think Hartnett might go for it he's like
Starting point is 01:09:32 Eben no his name is Eben he obviously is ready to do bigger things no with the sheriff oh the top cop
Starting point is 01:09:38 the top cop oh the top cop no no no top cops he's too busy let's get the homeboy over here I like that better than sheriff I, the top cop? No, no, no. Top cop's, he's too busy. Let's get the homeboy over here. I like that better than sheriff. I'm the top cop.
Starting point is 01:09:49 I'm the top cop. Top cop? Top cop. Okay. Okay. So Stella. We're in trouble. Stella says.
Starting point is 01:09:55 We're in trouble. Yeah. Stella's like, I feel like, you know, we're just going to go with the fact that they're vampires. No questions asked. Vampires don't like sunlight. Your grandma was growing some weed. She's got some UV lights in her house.
Starting point is 01:10:08 Oh, a greenhouse! Oh, fuck. They're using the whole buffalo in this movie. Yes! Yes! Good for them. Good for them. It happens honestly more rarely than you would think. So often it's like
Starting point is 01:10:23 that won't come back. Often they leave a fucking half a buffalo in a goddamn movie. Turning they left almost all of the buffalo. At every corner. The turning? Oh really? They left the whole buffalo. They leave a lot of buffalo. Sometimes it's a buffalo and you're like I thought it was a buffalo.
Starting point is 01:10:40 They're like no it's a horse. You're like what? Okay but y'all had a buffalo. Y'all started with a buffalo right? He's like yeah but then halfway through we're like no it's a horse you're like what okay but y'all had a buffalo y'all started with a buffalo right he's like yeah but then halfway through we were like shouldn't it be a horse we couldn't figure out what if it's a donkey but this one yeah this one's going buffalo this one does well buffalo on it
Starting point is 01:10:58 I respect that so they're trying to set up a diversion Eben is going to the UV light thing to make a distraction so they can move from the grocery store but I don't know where they're going just to another hiding spot I think they're trying to go to the power plant or something
Starting point is 01:11:14 I guess the power plant yeah they're trying to get to to the muffin machine oh but also I mean that's a good point how are the UV lights going to work if the power isn't working well they have backup generators. That are still functioning? They're fixed to rest, I guess.
Starting point is 01:11:29 Everybody's dead, so everything got turned off. Okay. Nobody's using a lot of power here. We've got power for days. So Eben goes. He runs and makes a bunch of noise. He's banging on things. He's like, come get me.
Starting point is 01:11:42 I'm a human. And runs to Grandma's house fires up that uv light and closes the door and the um lady vampire is that okay to call her she is that i don't know i mean we need to ask her yeah this comes out it's better than vampire i don't know i don't know any of the vampire names yeah yeah um they speak a different and we don't it. I don't know any of the vampire names. Yeah, yeah. It's fine. They speak a different, we don't know. Yeah. We don't know.
Starting point is 01:12:07 Sammy, I'm a little offended, but it's okay. Keep going. Well, I was trying to think of like, I mean, calling him Danny Houston, one of them looks like Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:17 She kind of reminds me of Edie Patterson in a way. Okay. We'll call her that. I'll call her Edie Patterson. We'll go with Edie. We can go with that. So Edie the vampire.
Starting point is 01:12:25 Edie. And so she's like, I'll take this one. I'll call her Edie Patterson. We'll go with Edie. We can go with that. So Edie the vampire. Edie. And so she's like, I'll take this one. I'll go in there and get him. Uh-oh. And she breaks down that door and gets blasted with the UV light. What does it do to her? And she's screaming in pain. Like burns alive.
Starting point is 01:12:39 It burns him. Burns dead. So this movie is a huge add for the effectiveness of UV light. Yes. It's correct. How it can affect all of our skins. All of our skins. Powerful.
Starting point is 01:12:51 Powerful. Yeah. And then also in this time, Bo, he's getting in that crazy chainsaw truck and he's just slicing. He's driving it in like 360s, slicing vampires left and right. Hell yeah. And he slams into this corner store thing, I don't know, and is trying to lure them in there. And he explodes the building with a lot of them in there.
Starting point is 01:13:16 And he survives. He is thrown back and then like into the ice and crawls out. And Danny Houston walks over to him, steps on his head. I don't like that. And he slams down on it and the like footprint goes into the head. It's so gross. It like crushes in a very nasty way.
Starting point is 01:13:37 Yeah. It crushes like. Like as if you're like stepping in butter. Yeah. It really is. Like all of a sudden. I don't know what kind of shoes vampires wear, but they butter your face.
Starting point is 01:13:50 It's not good. It does have a butter quality as he moves through. It's not how a head would crush. It's like a Play-Doh type situation. It's like only the part where his foot smushes and the rest stays in shape. Wait, so does he die right away or is he like still alive? I mean he dies
Starting point is 01:14:06 his head's buttered. I know I didn't know how extreme the butter was but it was like I guess that's also to show how strong Houston was that it's just kind of like bonk like it's just like quick that he could just step down but he didn't even eat him he just fucking killed him
Starting point is 01:14:21 and doesn't care. He was mad. Are you telling me it was this hard for these strong super like super sensitive auditory beings to not find them in the attic I'm sorry they were being quiet Henley they were being real quiet except for okay okay okay okay I'll let it go
Starting point is 01:14:37 I'll let it go they also might not have been looking towards the attic you know they're looking they're playing their records they're having a yeah they were just enjoying their time in the dark yeah okay fine I they're looking. They're playing their records. Yeah. Yeah. They were just enjoying their time in the dark. Yeah. OK, fine.
Starting point is 01:14:48 I won't nitpick. It's their favorite 30 days. Right. It's like Christmas for them. Yeah. Christmas. It is. So the group now gets back together.
Starting point is 01:14:56 Minus Bo, who has died. Yes. And they're in. I don't know exactly where, but they see across the way a flashlight signal, like a little SOS coming from Billy's house from the beginning with the very white teeth, his cop partner. Oh, the white teeth man. The funny guy.
Starting point is 01:15:13 Funny guy. Yeah, funny guy. Jokes. Funny guy. And they go over there, they find him, and he's not doing well. And he says, I shouldn't have signaled you. I just can't handle being alone
Starting point is 01:15:26 and you see over to his the like bed and there's sheets over like body outlines with gunshot wounds in their foreheads and uh josh hartnett peels back the sheets and looks at them and billy is crying and he said i heard i heard all the screams i heard how everyone was dying i didn't want them to have to die like that and so he fucking killed his family before anything happened yeah oh my and he says and then i tried to shoot myself and the gun jammed. Oh. So he's just mentally unwell. He's not physically unwell. He's not physically unwell.
Starting point is 01:16:11 He's just like, I killed my family and then couldn't kill myself. I lured you all here. And then hid for 20 days by himself. With the dead bodies in a bed. Of his wife and children. That's bad. Josh Hartnett is not happy. No. But they can't have a good big fight because they have to be quiet
Starting point is 01:16:32 so they have a quiet fight where he grabs him and he's like your family you never hurt your family. It's like. Okay he doesn't need that. Honestly he's clearly had enough time to feel pretty bad about his choices. No it's not a fun scene. But he could have stepped out at this point and just got eaten by
Starting point is 01:16:48 Yeah, that's true. If he wanted to die, he could have fucking died. He could have figured it out at this point. Yeah, that's true. And so I think then they're trying to make it back to the plant. They leave his house. They take him with and they see
Starting point is 01:17:03 a little boy walking down the street covered in blood looking like so a little in shock like i'm not good at this six he's young yeah um another child and they recognize him they're like oh that's like timmy or whatever sorry timmy love you timmy how dare you he's gonna love the shout out um and it still runs out and grabs him oh no um and then a very benedict cumberbatch looking vampire oh yeah okay yeah pops out and they they all run back to the plant. Then we cut back to Danny Houston, who slicks his hair back with blood, which I think is a very cool detail. He's fucking-
Starting point is 01:17:53 He's amazing. I'm telling you. He's so good. He makes this movie. He goes to a corpse and uses blood. What's their relationship like, I wonder? Are they close? Are they fun siblings?
Starting point is 01:18:01 Do they hang? I'm curious. I'm curious. I think there's five siblings. Whoa, that's a lot of Houstons. A lot of Houstons. John Houston is their dad, the director of The Maltese Falcon. Okay. Showbiz family.
Starting point is 01:18:13 Showbiz family. Okay, so then, yeah, we're in the plant with the Muffin Monster. Okay. Here we are. The whole fucking buffalo. and this boy the whole fucking buffalo is this boy human yes he's just seen some shit he is covered in blood and like not speaking it's not good okay um danny houston outside gives a little speech about how it took them centuries to make people forget about them and make them think
Starting point is 01:18:48 that they were just nightmares and so it's important that we kill everybody everyone they don't want anybody to know people will come back and they won't know what happened right no witnesses really playing the long game here you guys need to watch a clip of danny houston what happened. No witnesses. We're only playing the long game here. You guys need to watch a clip of Danny Houston in this movie because his performance is so fucking good. It's amazing. I'll do that right afterwards. I'll do this.
Starting point is 01:19:14 I'll do this right now. I'll do this. My eyes are bigger than my stomach. I'll do it. I will do this. My eyes are bigger than my heart. Okay, so in the plant um the drax the guardians of the galaxy looking vampire drops down behind billy he's inside he's inside and a big fight
Starting point is 01:19:36 ensues they hear they hear billy screaming they come out josh harnett comes out with that axe drax grabs the axe right out of his hand, just throws it away. Yeah, sure, sure. Doesn't even, it's like not even a... It's Jack's. Yeah. And they're fighting. It's crazy.
Starting point is 01:19:50 He's about to kill Josh Hartnett and Billy, or he's like holding Josh Hartnett over the muffin monster. Oh, no. And then Billy knocks him in to the muffin monster and... Billy White Teeth. White Teeth Billy. Okay. Who has just killed his whole family
Starting point is 01:20:06 nothing to lose except for his arm he turns back around his arm is gone it went with the vampire to the muffin monster ow ow ow I hate it I hate it
Starting point is 01:20:22 it's my least favorite die or keep your whole body I hate it. I hate it. You don't like that? It's my least favorite. Yeah. Die or keep your whole body. Got it. I don't like anything in between. You also don't like knives. I hate knives.
Starting point is 01:20:34 And that's a lot of knives. Well, those axes are similar to knives, I feel like. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, my God. They're just hammer knives. Yes, they're just big, big old hammer knives. Heavy knives. Blades. Blades is maybe a way better way. Bl Big old hammer knives. Heavy knives. Blades.
Starting point is 01:20:45 Blades is maybe a way better way. I don't like blades. Or blade. And Billy has, in this process, been scratched by the vampire. And so he's missing an arm and it's spurting blood. And he is screaming very loud and crazy and in a lot of pain and while he's screaming you see his teeth kind of changing a little bit
Starting point is 01:21:10 and he's starting to like well we can't see his eyes because they're squeezed shut because he's in so much pain but he's starting to kind of sound like them and they're all staring.
Starting point is 01:21:25 They don't know what to do. Josh Hartnett picks up that axe and axes his head right off in front of everybody. And everyone just, it cuts to everybody's reaction, kind of staring at it happening. And nobody's having a good time. No. It's really upsetting. But had to happen. That's why he's the top cop. That's why.
Starting point is 01:21:47 The top cop has to make tough decisions. Has to make hard decisions. Do they explain ever why they didn't want to turn anyone? Maybe it's hard enough to get through the world. I think they just like their crew. Yeah. I think they're good with their crew. No new friends.
Starting point is 01:22:00 No new friends. No new friends. It's hard enough. They've got 20 of them. And it's hard to make time and they already know how they do things you listen to the record
Starting point is 01:22:07 you'd have to like tell a new guy like hey hey hey I know you're new but we like listen to this record and he'd be like what this guy plays a record
Starting point is 01:22:14 what are you talking about why why they'd be like this is why we don't turn new people and they'd be like I just thought of this
Starting point is 01:22:21 yeah okay okay okay so Stella and the little boy have not made it back to this place by the way sorry they're except they're not here oh no and we now see that they are trapped under a car surrounded by vampires um and they have a walkie-talkie and they walkie-talkie josh hartnett and josh hartnett can like he's looking through a little hole and you can see them and he's like you're surrounded oh don't move she's like we're free we're freezing um so they're like literally laying in the snow her and this little boy
Starting point is 01:22:59 and she kind of it's seeming like she's pretty sure they're going to die. So she starts to say her kind of goodbyes. Oh my gosh. They lost a child. And she's like I'm so sorry. She's saving this child. I'm so sorry for leaving you when I did. And he's like no, you know, don't talk like that. Sun's going to come up tomorrow
Starting point is 01:23:20 by the way. We're at the 30 days. They've made it quite a ways. They've made it quite a ways quite a ways and we're gonna watch that sunrise together don't talk like that we're gonna do this and she
Starting point is 01:23:36 notices that the street is filling up with oil something in one of the plants has like broken and there's oil leaking all over the town. And the vampires lighted on fire. And one of the girls in the plant is like, they're going to burn the whole town down. So it looks like everything was just like a freak accident.
Starting point is 01:23:58 There will be no evidence of anything that happened here. So the whole town catches fire. And Jake, the brother, is like and jake the brother is like well this building is not going to burn down we're in like a really it's like a power plant so we're safe here but stella and the child are definitely not yeah and so josh hartnett is faced with this choice of or he's like if if she runs from under the car they'll kill her they're right there they're surrounding her if she stays there she'll burn to death oh god if i come out of this hiding spot i'll give up i'll give up everybody's location and they'll kill all of us and just a lot of bad choices here. And he has a little moment of
Starting point is 01:24:45 I know what I gotta do. And he rummages in this little bag like a first aid kit finds a syringe and goes and gets some blood from Billy and injects it
Starting point is 01:25:01 into himself. And he's like I've got to become one of them. What? I can't fight them as me. There's some time in between, because he saw the other guy. Billy change, and the other guy change. And the other guy change,
Starting point is 01:25:20 so he knows you're still yourself for a little bit. And he's like, I'm'm gonna go out there as like a strong hybrid vampire me so that I can fight them and actually stand a chance it's wild I was shocked as well I did not see it coming I am shocked
Starting point is 01:25:38 I'm shocked Henley you said it earlier you were like he's gonna become a vampire at the end fuck but but you didn't think it was gonna happen this way I didn't think also I didn't think that he would know that he could just inject blood into his own system and that would turn him yeah right you don't
Starting point is 01:25:54 necessarily I don't really know that's I mean if you're the top copy you know a lot of math that we don't know I teach you special math there's a master's degree whoa okay so he is okay That's true. They teach you special math. You have to. There's special math. There's a master's degree. Whoa. Okay. So he is.
Starting point is 01:26:07 Okay. Still a risk, but I guess. But it's all a risk at this point. Better odds than the other ones. You mean there's a risk of mixing blood? Yeah. Yeah. So he starts to turn.
Starting point is 01:26:20 His eyes get black. He gets the teeth pretty fast. Yeah. Almost simultaneously teeth and eyes yeah and he still has his own he still has his own personality ish he turns to his brother and says I can smell your blood
Starting point is 01:26:34 gross which is gross but he had said that a couple of times through the movie so it's just kind of a contract and they're like I'm gonna miss you I can smell your blood like I said before and he goes out to It was just kind of a callback. And they were like, I'm going to miss you. Right after that. I can smell your blood. Like I said before.
Starting point is 01:26:46 Yeah. And he goes out to face all the remaining vampires. How many would you say are left? Now, I think less than the population of the town. I'd say less than 10. But I would say a solid 8 to 10. Yeah. Just basically anybody surrounding this car and then maybe a couple of stragglers. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:09 To kind of pop out of somewhere. He walks out. Danny Houston looks ready for a fight and he's like, what's this? What's happening? And he's kind of fucking with him at first and winning pretty easily. They start to fight. Yeah. And hand to hand combat. Hand to hand combat. Hand to nail. Kind of. Yeah. with him at first and winning pretty easily they start to fight yeah and hand-to-hand combat hand
Starting point is 01:27:26 to hand combat uh hand to nail kind of yeah he does get he scratches him right in the face he like flings him over a car and josh hartnett's not doing well um i feel like he gets a few punches in but overall is not faring well i, it feels like a superhero against a bad guy. Yeah. You know, like, oh, no, he's not doing well, but that just means he's going to do better. Yeah. Exactly. You know it's coming.
Starting point is 01:27:55 But one gross thing that happens is he, like, goes to punch him, and Danny Houston grabs Josh Hart in its hand and bends it in half at at the palm level yeah yeah it's really in half it's so gross yeah he like pops out the center of his palm which i've never seen done before um and so josh hartnett is like huddling holding his palm and um danny houston Dana Houston walks a little distance away and then kind of runs and jumps at him. And Josh Hartnett flings around and punches through his mouth through the back of his skull. And punches his brain essentially out of his head. Yeah. It's really out of nowhere.
Starting point is 01:28:42 So crazy. That feels like a Sam Raimi moment for sure. Out of nowhere, super strength, realizing it after palm is in half. Well, hey. And there's a moment where. Same palm or the other one? I think it's the other one. It's the other one.
Starting point is 01:28:56 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's not like it turns into like some kind of weird knife at that point. Super palm. It's super palm. No, it's the other. It's the good arm. Okay. that point super palm it's super palm no it's the other it was it's the good arm okay but also just the fact that houston was just like going away and goes you know what no i'm gonna turn back around i'm gonna turn back around give him an open mouth mistake give him an open mouth jump hey
Starting point is 01:29:17 um then all the rest of the vampires are like what the fuck do we do now they look very um confused and they don't attack him. Well, they just sort of back away. I think so. Josh Hartnett's our new leader. Well, that's what I kind of thought. But they all just kind of. He's going to become a vampire now.
Starting point is 01:29:34 He's going to become a vampire. There's no reversing this process. Right. Oh, fuck. But they all kind of just leave. Well, because now it's getting close to the. Right. Daytime.
Starting point is 01:29:44 So then they're just like, fuck. well, we got to get out of here. We got to get out of here. And there's this crazy guy. He's not going to be part of our crew. Right. We're going to head out. And he's going to die in the sunlight. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:54 Right. Oh, yeah. Okay. And so... Maybe best case scenario for him. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Stella has been watching some of this from under the car.
Starting point is 01:30:03 Mm-hmm. Comes out out is like what did you do to yourself she's crying obviously they're saying their goodbyes it's yeah they don't have a happy ending coming up here so they go to the place where they have
Starting point is 01:30:18 their first date which was mentioned earlier in the film and I forgot to mention it but it's basically like an overlook where you can see the sunrise. Aha. Classic. Hence that we're going to watch the sunrise to get there. Got it. And they
Starting point is 01:30:33 sit and kiss. Oh my. With the shark teeth? Which I thought was crazy. I was like, I don't know the rules of this. And also like we're really trusting that he's got a handle on this transformation right and it seems like it would be transmitted through blood and he is covered in blood yeah and we're putting our mouth on that mouth it seemed like a bad idea but i guess it was sweet yeah um they have a kiss and the sun comes up and his skin turns to ash.
Starting point is 01:31:07 Oh my God. And he dies. Yeah. Is that the end? And it ends on her face looking very sad and closing her eyes and holding his dead little ash body. Oh God. It was like a rom-com at the end. It's a rom-com.
Starting point is 01:31:22 This is actually a romantic film. So this is a uh sort of weed comedy yes yeah and a rom-com yeah yeah yeah it's like a family drama yeah oh man a lot of layers um this movie was nuts it was really nuts i think i it sounds a little different than twilight a little different a little different though Twilight. A little different. Though head removal, big part of Twilight as well, in case you're wondering. I'm really glad that I saw this movie, I will say.
Starting point is 01:31:52 Did you have a fun time? I had a really fun time and I will say most of the movies we've done are rewatches for me. This was the first one that this is the first time I had seen it. This and Event Horizon. And it's fun to see it for the first time. Yeah! I was excited. And it's an older see it for the first time. Yeah! I was excited. And it's an older one.
Starting point is 01:32:08 I mean, now it's like, what, 13 years old? Yeah, 13 years old. But I feel like it holds up. It does hold up. I mean, other than music-wise and like, you know. Rap rock. Rap rock. Thematically and like the way that it's done is really cool. It looks cool. It looks good still. The trailer did look good. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:23 And yeah, I really enjoyed it. Andosh hartnett holds up he does he does and that's what i was oh i looked it up he was 29 when this movie was made which honestly he looked so much younger in that trailer i'm hey i mean forever young what a little baby face yeah what's that say about me that i'm like almost the same age and feel like he looked 15 years what does that mean about how I perceive the world around me? I don't know. I really don't know what to do with that, Henley. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:32:50 I'm going to think about it. I'll get back to you guys. Okay. Please let us know. But he was great. He got better as the story got better. I'd say especially, I feel like when he became a vampire, I was like, oh, Josh Hartnett's fucking good.
Starting point is 01:33:01 Yeah. Hell yeah. But what's his name? Act on them like fucking circles around them. Oh, Danny Houston. Danny Houston crushed this movie. We're going to have to post some clips of Danny Houston. He made the movie.
Starting point is 01:33:13 Hell yeah. Because he's so fucking good in it. He's so good. Just even the way that he moves in this movie. A gif could do it. A gif could show you just the like. What he's bringing to the table. It's like the way he moves is so fucking great.
Starting point is 01:33:24 I mean, he's great. We'll post some gifs. Yeah. We'll post some gifs yeah we'll post some gifs wow what a journey I liked this a lot this was great this was a fun time Eugene thank you so much yeah of course for doing this with us you're the best I wish you could watch the movie but I get what this podcast
Starting point is 01:33:39 is took you until the end of it to understand what we're doing here well no just because as we're explaining it I'm like it's so good get in there i know i feel the same way a lot but then i but like and i'm like oh can you skip over the scary parts like no they're kind of important thing right like i i feel as though i'm able to obviously i can't get the full picture but i can appreciate a lot more of these movies than i otherwise would be able to because I can't get the full picture but I can appreciate a lot more of these movies than I otherwise would be able to because there's some horror movies though that don't have
Starting point is 01:34:09 they don't you know use any of the buffalo or they don't even like tell a real good story it's just kind of like yeah this scary weird thing and you're just trying to get yeah yeah jump scares and all that stuff this actually has like the you know it's suspenseful.
Starting point is 01:34:26 It's like a thriller. Which is great and also is what's hard for me. Like that tension build is really hard for me. And there is a lot of knives and hammer knives. Yeah see. That muffin maker. What is it? Muffin machine? Muffin monster.
Starting point is 01:34:41 Muffin monster. That makes sense. Yeah no that's not for me. That's not. I don't like toin Monster. That makes sense. Yeah. No, that's not for me. That's not. I don't like to. It's tough. I get it. That's fair. The way we have to close this out is both of you have to say your goodbyes in the best
Starting point is 01:34:55 vampire speak you can. Like in a different language? I don't know. In the vampire language. We would never know. Listen, I know that I tried to lob this in earlier. You said no. I could try. You said no, but I
Starting point is 01:35:07 really want to hear your best efforts. You both seem ready. I mean, it's going to be bad. In my head it sounds okay and it's going to be bad, but it would be like... That was honestly great. It's more like Latin-y. It is though. It is.
Starting point is 01:35:25 That's better. It's a... Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's better. That's better. Oh, you did it. It's like... It's like you say... Just say like the Latin phrase. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:34 Oh, yeah. Carpe diem. Mea culpa. Yeah. Hey, everyone. It's Henley. Thanks for listening to another episode of Too Scary Didn't Watch. If you enjoyed hearing us chat about 30 Days of Night, we'd love to hear from you. Head on over to Apple Podcasts where you can subscribe, rate, and review us.
Starting point is 01:36:05 We're also on social media at TSDWpodcast on Twitter and Instagram. We are also now on the Stardust app, so if you want to see our actual real faces respond to these movies, head on over there where you can see us do some pretty dumb reactions to these things. We would
Starting point is 01:36:21 love to hear from you. Thanks so much for being a fan and talk to you later.

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