Too Scary; Didn't Watch - APOSTLE

Episode Date: September 16, 2020

A kidnapping, a determined infiltrator, and a cult leader that we have to admit makes some pretty solid choices - we're recapping the 2018 Netflix horror film Apostle. There is some very nasty shit in this one and not even Dan Stevens can make it go down easy! Listen to find out why Henley has a soft spot for a hard foot.  Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, everybody. It's Wednesday, and you know what that means. You know what that means. It's why you're here. You opened the dang podcast episode, so you know it's Wednesday. Or you're listening to this on a different day, and that's fine, too. But you still know that Wednesday is when this first appeared. Yeah, so true, so true. So true, so true. So true, so true. And we got to shout out some of our new patrons.

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so that's it for now but boy will there be more to come i think i hope you know i think i hope until then until then enjoy the episode this is emily henley and sammy and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily, and I am too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley, and I'm also too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Sammy, and I just love watching scary movies. I love them.

She loves them. She loves telling us about them. It's true. Yep. You guys are so curious. You're always asking me. Tell us about those horror movies, Sammy. And so we made a podcast about it, and I do on a weekly basis now.

Yeah, now you have to. For the rest of our lives. Forever. For the rest of our lives. For the rest of our lives. Yep. So here we are. Here we are.

And what's up with us this week? Oh, I have one where we're going to have to post this on our Instagram. But I want to ask the listeners what they think is up with this cat that was at our Airbnb. I went to stay with my fiance's family at an Airbnb in upstate New York, and it came with a cat. And this cat walks, walked very strangely, had a big belly and would sit in incredibly odd ways. And I'm pretty sure, well, the cat's name is Rainbow also, which is like a great name for a cat. That's a great name for a cat.

And I'm pretty sure the cat is pregnant, but also the cat is 14 years old. So if anyone can, we'll post some pictures. You guys let me know what you think. I also just didn't know that an Airbnb could come with a cat. It feels like pretty poor pet ownership to be like, oh, and anyway, you also watch my pet. Watch my cat, stranger. It was the cat had a like self-filling food and we would just give it water. But it didn't take a lot of taking care of and it was a

naked outside cat too all right all right okay and honestly rainbow was the best rainbow was like yeah i mean it's it would be a selling point for me for sure but i just have never heard of it before so i think that's fascinating um okay well listeners can't wait to hear your thoughts on this cat and the big news over here on the west coast is that it's on fire it's big time on fire big time on fire and in la where emily and i are it's not it doesn't even look as bad as it does further up north. It's like Northern California and then up into Oregon. And even in Washington, the skies are just orange. And it's just bizarre. It like feels like, like dusk all day long. Like I stood up like, it's time for dinner at like 1pm today. And my cats are confused too.

They keep coming out being like, dinner time? I'm like, nope, it's still the afternoon. Does it smell like smoke when you go outside? I will say up until today, at least where I'm in LA, it hasn't. But it has just looked like weird yellowish glow. Today, for the first time, this fire, I smelled it a bit and it has gotten a bit better as the day has gone on,

but the sky has gotten worse looking for me, so I don't really know. It doesn't smell too bad, but for the majority of today, it smelled and I had a definite smoke-induced headache. Oh, no. It's also really fun in COVID to have like symptoms. Smoke

and like a respiratory pandemic also with like smoke in the air. Oh yeah. Man. Things are not great. All this to say climate change is real and super real. Vote for people who believe in science.

This is where I'm going with that. Science is cool and real. Science is and real Science is so fucking cool What about you Emily Well In a moment of Well you guys know I love to Paint and do things to my apartment Especially in COVID times

Because I have learned My brain desperately needs projects like big big big time needs projects so my latest project is perhaps my my largest endeavor yeah largest endeavor and also just like

such a clear indication of where my mental state is currently is that I've decided to turn my bathroom into the bathroom at the Madonna Inn which if you're not familiar with the Madonna Inn listeners wow go look it up it is one of my favorite

places on earth if not my favorite place on earth I am obsessed with it I love it so much it's so weird but long story short it's aggressively pink like aggressively pink and so I bought some Long story short, it's aggressively pink, like aggressively pink. And so I bought some truly alarmingly pink paint and a bunch of really stupid accessories to turn my bathroom into the Madonna Inn. And I'm really fucking excited.

And I can't wait to love being in there. But I think almost no one else on this earth will love being in there. So it's really it's a huge statement that like, hey, man, this bathroom is for me. So I'm pretty excited about it. I haven't painted yet, but I did. I have ordered like some stuff to put on the walls and I got a little cart for in there and I've Spray painted everything The gold because also It's like gold like antique Accents with like really intense pink Walls

Is my aesthetic I'm going for But I don't have the pink walls yet so Now I'd walk in there and I feel like I'm fucking Donald Trump because it's just like a stupid Like Big gold like Things on the walls and so I'm not loving this part of the process

but we'll get there and as I'm saying this Henley I realized I forgot to take a fucking before picture for you because Henley was about to ask and I was about to ask it too I wish we could take a before picture documented I think the listeners are going to want to see the finished product at least

I'm dead you reminded me because here's the thing I think the listeners are going to want to see the finished product at least. They will. I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead. You reminded me. I reminded you. I did not. Because here's the thing. I, we've talked about this before.

I, there's zero lag time between me making a decision and beginning to act upon that decision. So I truly, of course, I already started doing it. I can't wait. I think it's going to be really cool. And I think it will be a destination for me as well once it's safe for me to be in your bathroom. Truly, I would love for my bathroom to be a destination. Henley, have you thought about getting married in Emily's bathroom?

I was going to say, it sounds like the perfect place for a destination wedding. I think it might be. Exactly. Two people can fit in there. So the officiant can stand outside and do it through a window. COVID safe. It's a COVID safe wedding destination. If anybody wants

to get married in my bathroom, it is a COVID safe wedding destination. The requests are going to be rolling in. Listeners, I'll keep you posted. I might be losing my mind. Yeah, I want to see it. I gotta see pics of this uh okay okay so another thing i was going to say is that i'm watching the vow on my nemesis network hbo max um and i just wanted to real quick recommend it to the listeners it's great and it just was my little segue into this week's movie because it's cult related.

Um, and this week's movie is Apostle. It came out in 2018. It's a Netflix, Netflix film streaming on Netflix. If you want to check it out, uh, written and directed by Gareth Evans starring Dan Stevens. Yeah. We know Emily loves him. starring Dan Stevens. Yeah. We know Emily loves him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Michael Sheen. Lucy Boynton. Boynton? Boynton? I like Boynton. I like for it to sound like an onomatopoeia. Yeah. Boynton. That's a fun one to say. Like a like a... Boynton. Boynton. That's a fun one to say.

Like a water thought. Boynton? Boynton? Boynton? Boynton? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Lucy Boynton, yeah. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay. Oh, God. Everyone needs to calm down. Bill Milner, Christine Froseth, Mark Lewis Jones, and Sharon Morgan. Not to be confused with Sharon Horgan. Different Sharon.

Different Sharon. Different name. Also, Michael Sheen. Big fan of Michael Sheen, too. And I know you are, Sammy. I'm a big fan of Michael Sheen. I bet you are excited. As we know, he gave a phenomenal performance in the Twilight franchise as the leader of the Volturi.

He really did. Truly, it really is a really fantastic performance. He's a great actor. He's really fucking good in this, too. He's such an interesting actor. I feel like he does. He's all over the place and he does it all well. And probably not too big of a curveball for you guys but I think he's hot

yeah Michael Sheen oh whoa he was with Kate Beckinsale and then Sarah Silverman yeah they have a daughter together oh I'll just do a quick plug since we've really devolved into madness here um listeners if you would like to follow

Kate Beckinsale on Instagram you will really be glad that you did she has a delightful Instagram presence and if you would like to follow Kate Beckinsale on Instagram, you will really be glad that you did. Really? She has a delightful Instagram presence. And if you like cats, she's got a good one. I didn't know this. She's got a good one. And it's a lot of cat content.

And she is, Kate Beckinsale is super weird. And it's really fun. Yeah, she's funny. It's a surprise. And she's great. A fun follow. Was this a scary one, Sammy? Like really scary?

It was. When we get to the trailer, I'll tell you more about my thoughts about it. It was not as scary as I thought it was going to be, no. Okay. Okay. I have been told that I will hate it. And do you think that that's true? I think that might be true.

There are a few key scenes that are very tough. Great. Can't wait. Hi, my friends. Welcome to Cocktail Hour. This week's cocktail is the blood and sand. Chosen because of the blood and other substances that we're going to get to as we get further along in this movie.

So, hey, buckle up. To make this drink, you're going to need three quarters an ounce of scotch, three quarters of an ounce of cherry earring liqueur, three quarters an ounce of sweet vermouth, and three quarters of an ounce of freshly squeezed orange juice. You will shake all ingredients with ice and fine strain into a chilled martini glass and garnish with an orange zest twist. If I were you, I would make this drink now and drink it fast because I doubt you're going

to want to be consuming any liquids as we get further along in this movie. If that's not something to look forward to, I don't know what is. Good luck, my friends, and cheers. Oh, trivia. We got to do trivia. gotta we gotta not that i looked not that i have any so we don't have to um there there isn't any on our trusty imdb where we pull from no trivia no trivia not even how many jeeps or anything? There's no Jeeps. It said in 1905 Wales.

Oh, okay. So pretty minimal Jeeps in this. Do we have good accents? Good accents. Hell yeah. Are they all British? Dan Stevens finally doing his British accent and can I tell you, it sounds like he's doing a fake accent because everything I've seen him in, he's doing an American accent.

Oh, because you haven't seen Downton Abbey. He's British in Downton Abbey. Yes. So I was like, this seems like this seems like the put on accent is kind of weird. I love Dan Stevens. You know I do. I love him so much. He's very good

in this. He's really cute. And guess what? He's hot. Of course he is. Of course he's good in it. Of course he's hot. This is Dan Stevens we're talking about. This's really cute. And guess what? He's hot. Of course he is. Of course he's good in it. Of course he's hot. This is Dan Stevens we're talking about. This is Dan Stevens. This is Dan Stevens we're talking about. In lieu of trivia, I looked up some reviews. Okay.

That's fun. Actually, before that, let me say Gareth Evans is the director. Writer-director also edited it. Good for him. Wow. So odd. Give somebody else a job, Gareth. Makes me nervous as an editor when directors do that, because I'm like, oh, guess you don't need me.

Yeah, it's like, come on, spread the wealth, my dude. Yeah, but, you know, I guess good for him. Sounds like he really knows what he wanted. Good for him, I guess. But yeah, he's the director of the Raid franchise. You've seen the Raid, right? That's right! I have no's the director of the Raid franchise. You've seen the Raid, right? That's right!

I have no idea. What is the Raid franchise? I've only seen the first one, the original. But the Raid rules. The Raid is like very action-y. It's basically like them going into a building and moving their way up and just like a huge crazy fight on every level.

It's like, yeah, just like fight sequence on fight sequence on fight sequence. But it's so cool. Oh my God, it's good. It's like martial arts, like very cool, skilled fighting. It is so cool. Okay, here's some reviews. This is from Peter DeBruge from Variety. Gareth Evans eschews his signature brand of

hyperkinetic pugilism in favor of suspenseful, long-fuse mind games, offering the growing cult of Netflix subscribers this stylishly deranged black mass, which plays like an homage to The Wicker Man, the 1973 original, not Nicolas Cage's

notorious 2006 B-movie remake, with better costumes creepier customs and a lot more blood did he get paid by the word what the fuck was that it was like a spelling bee i know i know i know there's i that's why i picked that sentence i was like wow so many words that was one sentence many words. A lot of big words. Okay, this one is from Charles Brumesco from The Guardian. And Gareth Evans' maximalist more-is-more ethic piles on one spectacle after another, building to an operatic hallucinatory climax that leaves our puny Reason behind for medical physical Nirvana wow

Whoa Yeah okay That's all I got I don't know I just figured We needed something to fill this Trivia spot okay well I think we have a good sense of what we're in For here yeah let's do it Let's watch the trailer let's

Watch that freaking trailer I Can't fucking wait for you guys to see this trailer. Oh, God. Every time you say that, Sammy, I'm very nervous because it can't be good news. I'm scared. Thomas, your sister, she's gone. These people, they're blasphemers. A cult, a disease.

Bring her home. Name? Thomas Richardson. A dream of a world in which each waking day we rise equal. This island, it's our paradise. We have an intruder on our land. We have to find him. Your eyes.

They've seen things. Who are you? He shall be cleansed according to the edict of this land The promise of the divine is but an illusion God is pain God is suffering Beware

false prophets which come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly they are ravening wolves Let us begin That's i'm mad it seemed it seemed manageable for the first half i was like okay okay okay and then i was like no no no no no no no no no no no no no yeah I knew you guys were really gonna hate that trailer but I was just too excited to see your

reactions to those few shots cause boy oh boy are they tough oh I hate it wow I hated that trailer so much that one was really hard for me. Really hard for me. Okay, let's just dive right in. Let's just rip this band-aid off, Sammy. Just tell us what's up with this cult. I'll tell you what's up.

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his father is like not in good health and doesn't really know what's going on and so someone else is like well you go in his place go get her back so he sets out to go kind of infiltrate this cult to to get the sister back he has no intention of paying the ransom. So, okay. So then he sets out on his journey there. You know, he's taking his carriage. He's taking a boat. He's got, oh, they've included a travel pass for him in the letter.

Like, come and give us the ransom and here's your pass. So as he's in line for the boat, he looks at his pass and he sees that it has a dot that the other passes don't have and so he sees like he's been marked and so an old man is like packing a suitcase on the side and he's like oh let me help you with that and as he helps him he swaps out his travel pass with this man's travel pass and they are then welcomed on the boat and he looks back at the guy, sees that he is also welcomed on the boat, but they mark an X on

his suitcase without him noticing. Oh, no. So, on the boat, I think a lamb falls out of it where its cage was or something and breaks like, breaks its leg. And Dan Stevens goes to pick it up and hold it.

And one of the other future cult members or present cult members grabs it from him and flings it off the boat and basically says, like, the water decides who lives and dies or something like that. You did. You made that decision. You did it. You did that. Although I recently read that when sheep herders, if a sheep stops, they kill the sheep

because it means there's something wrong with the sheep. I don't like that. I was really upset to hear that too. I had never heard that before. Henley loves her hooved animals. I have a soft spot for hooves. But this also kind of reminds me of, I think,

in The Ring, right? When the horse falls off the ferry. Similar. Soft spot for a hard foot. Oh, that's a t-shirt. Add it to the list of t-shirt ideas. Add it to the list. Get your merch.

Soft spot for a hard foot. Get your merch. Oh, God. It's not funny. I'm sorry. But it's not funny it's i'm sorry but it's so funny okay so all right they arrive at uh it's called arizden is the town and it's an island and he checks into his room everyone's a little people are weird there i don't know how to set. Everyone's a little... People are weird there.

I don't know how to set this. It's a cult. They're all... A cult in 1905. So everyone on the boat who's going to this island or whatever is part of the cult. Yes. Okay. And then it's time for church.

And as he's walking to church, he andrea who is lucy boynton and i can't really remember what happens in that interaction but we meet her and they have a little a little flirty moment so that's not his sister it's not his sister no okay um as he's walking into the church he turns and sees a group of kind of soldier guard type people carrying the old man's limp body and they make eye contact and he looks at them like what the fuck and they kind of give him a look like is this a problem like do you need to be a problem like a threatening look

and he's like okay never mind and walks into the church doesn't see what's happening with that poor old man that he seemingly has sentenced to death well the man was coming to join a freaky cult, so I guess. True.

And so, okay, so we go into the church where Michael Sheen is leading a sermon. He is the cult leader. His name is Malcolm. And we get some backstory that him and his two friends, Quinn and Frank, I think escaped prison. And on their little escape boat, the waters were rough. And they ended up on this island. And he says, she appeared to me, and she chose me to speak through me. And that's why we're here is because I'm the chosen one. And that our crops are growing healthily. It's safe and everything's abundant here because I have spoken to the goddess of the land.

Something like that. What happened to the people he escaped with? They are there, oh okay um and while he's giving this sermon uh thomas sees an old woman a kind of creepy old woman walking by the church window and no one else really seems to notice her but he turns and looks and malcolm turns and looks and then mal sees Thomas seeing the woman. And there's just kind of a weird moment of like, what is going on? The sister.

It's not the sister. But then after the sermon, they go outside and Thomas kind of looks to inspect to see if he could see where that old lady go and sees a piece of moss on the side of the building just really rapidly die and like wither and die like where she was standing. So it kind of feels right away kind of supernatural. OK, and then we cut to Malcolm going into kind of an interrogation room where they have this old man tied up. He's not dead, but he's bloody and bloodied and beaten. And they, of course, originally assumed

that he was the father of the sister who they're asking for a ransom. They see this man has no money. He doesn't know what they're talking about. And they slit his throat. Oh, no. Oh, my God. And basically end the interaction by being like,

well, we have an intruder here that's blending in, and we got to find him. Okay. Then we cut to a young couple jeremy and fionn who are kind of you know a late teens young love kind of giving the vibe of like they kind of want to escape from this cult they just love each other a lot they have sex which is not allowed because they or we are getting the impression that's not allowed because they're being very secretive. Like, are you sure? Are you sure? And they're like, oh, we just love each other and we're so horny. Yeah, let's do it.

Meanwhile, Thomas is kind of snooping around outside everyone's houses, peeking into people's windows, probably looking a bit for his sister and also just trying to get a feel who are these people and he looks in one of the windows and sees a woman sticking a knife into her elbow crease and like it bleeding a lot it's looks bad but she's basically um what do you call letting bleeding oh blood letting blood letting and pouring it into a cup. And her husband does it too. And they're looking at their daughter trying to beckon her over to also do it. Daughter looks scared.

Thomas is looking in the window thinking what the fuck is going on. Then bumps into someone. And we got the impression like he's not supposed to be out at night. Everyone's in their homes. And so it's like a little scary. then we see that it is um jeremy and sister no jeremy and fionn oh where is the sister where is she where is she where is she that's what he wants to know i know um but because jeremy and fionn are also sneaking around and don't want anyone to know that they're outside, they kind of all give each other a knowing look like, okay, we cool.

We cool. Everyone like, keep this to yourselves. Shut up. And they all. Everybody cool. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. They all back away going. It's like three minutes of shushing genius filmmaking i love that but so they all go back to their separate rooms and as thomas enters kind of the the cabin or the hallway of rooms that he is staying in, he notices in front of everybody's door, there is

a cup filled with blood. Oh my god. And as he gets to his door, he's got an empty cup and he uses he like takes one of the other cups and splits it

between the two. That's what you gotta do. And then as he goes to open his bedroom door, he cuts himself on the key somehow. And some of his blood drips down onto the floorboards. Again, then kind of rolls down into the floorboards. And in a very Hellraer-y vibe yeah a uh zombie head seems to eat the blood as he walks into his room it's like gobbling the blood okay all right all right so there's some zombies that live in the basement of the cult

yes seems that's that's what i was thinking at this point and then from his window he sees he sees michael sheen excuse me malcolm go into like i guess he can see across into his cabin and sees him open a hidden door in the floor and go down below it. So something is, there's some sort of network of tunnels or little hidden passageways below the town. Where all the little blood-eating goblins are. That's where the goblins are. Goblins.

eating goblins. That's where the goblins are. Goblins. Okay, so then we see Malcolm emerging from seemingly the other end of this secret passageway, kind of in the middle of the forest. We don't really know where he is. And there's a big house, like log cabin-y thing that just looks pretty spooky. We don't know what it is. It cuts.

Cuts to next morning. Okay. So we wake up with Thomas. Waking up with Dan Stevens. Love to wake up with Dan Stevens. And we see on his back, he has a big burn scar of a cross. And there's a knock on the door. of a cross and there's a knock on the door

and it's Jeremy who was having sex last night with Fion and Jeremy he's kind of like what are you doing here and he says it's time for work and there's this whole like thing of like he's trying to blend in but he does not know the rules or customs of

this town and yeah it's like which one's the infiltrator the guy who asks so many questions right right right he's like the one who hasn't done a single thing that everybody else is doing probably him yeah so he's like uh it's time for work duh like the thing we do every day and he's like oh yeah duh duh totally so they do some work and quickly Thomas decides Jeremy, he has something he can hang over Jeremy's head. And so he kind of decides that he will show, kind of let Jeremy in on that he is the infiltrator. Shows him a photo of his sister. Huge risk.

Yeah, really, really risky. But he has spent one night there and hasn't seen his sister. So he also has no idea how anything works and is very obviously the infiltrator. I saw a man like be murdered probably. But yeah, he's on a time crunch. Cut to the chase. Yeah, for sure. Where's your sister?

We're all dying to know. On the edge of our freaking seats here, folks. dying to know on the edge of our freaking seats here folks but so he yeah he basically takes him away from everyone else and threatens him and shows him a photo of his sister says have you seen

this woman and Jeremy's crying and he says yeah I've seen her I didn't know well he just starts crying in that moment yeah well okay something bad happened to her and so so yeah so he's he basically I've seen her. I didn't know. Well, he just starts crying in that moment. Yeah. Well, okay. Something bad happened to her. And so, yeah.

So he basically confirms that she is here. And then we go to another barn and Quinn and Malcolm. Quinn and Malcolm. It's a sheep giving birth, moaning. Quinn, you know, sticks his hands inside to pull out the little lamb. And the lamb is born with already a slit throat. It's like front is cut open. Holy shit. Oh, no.

And they give the impression that this happens a lot and so they're like another one basically toss it aside into a bucket it's really sad oh no yeah and they're like that i think they say something like she's gonna keep doing this she's gonna keep doing this whoa okay also man that woman really shouldn't have thrown a lamb overboard right yeah valuable they really need lambs they're running low yep now we're with fion who is friends with andrea lucy boynton boynt Boynton. And they're doing laundry. And she basically confides in Andrea that she thinks she might be pregnant. Right, right.

Then a bell rings. People are being called to the church. Malcolm seems angry and basically only brings the men into the church we know he's looking for a man and he says someone broke the rules last night and was out after curfew or whatever and we gotta know who it is so everybody get on your knees and makes everyone get on their knees in a line. And he starts reciting Bible verse, except it's not Bible. It's like their specific scripture and basically goes down the line, making each person pick up where the last left off. line making each person pick up where the last left off and dan stevens is looking quite nervous kind of reaching for the knife in his pocket he seems a pretty good test of which of you actually

knows your shit who does not and so it's going further down the line, closer to him. He's getting ready. He might have to strike. He doesn't know what he's going to do. And then the guy just before him also doesn't know the words. And he pulls out a knife and goes to attack Malcolm. And as he does, Thomas lunges at him to like save Malcolm some quick thinking. Oh, smart. And as he does that, the guy turns and slashes Thomas on the like face and throat.

So Thomas falls to the ground. And then again, he goes to lunge at Malcolm and all the guards guards standing around malcolm have spears and impale him at like five different angles so he's basically looks he looks like a little what do you call like jacks you know the little when you play jacks he looks like oh yeah yeah so he's got rods coming out from every direction every which which way. But he doesn't die right away. And it like props him up in such a way. It's pretty nasty. Oh, gross.

I hate that. Oh, that's a knife situation. Emily is not a fan. I'll take a spear over a knife if I'm being really honest. OK, OK. We might get some knife stuff for you later. I bet we will um

and so they kill him and Malcolm turns to Thomas and is like quick this man needs medical attention they hurry him off into Malcolm's cabin in which Lucy Boynton lives

that's his daughter. We find out. Oh, wow. So Andrea is patching up Thomas. And as he as they set him down, Malcolm comes up to you and says, if you spill blood for me, I spill blood for you. Grabs his knife, slices open his palm, and they do you spill blood for me i spill blood for you grabs at his knife slices open his palm and they do a little blood handshake and he says i'm indebted to you for life my brother and we're thinking okay good good good he's gotten in his things are looking up good graces and i'm like right as he turns uh malcolm turns back to his cronies and he says, we still have an intruder here, though.

Like, no, don't don't relax. Like, there's still an intruder in our midst. And so he doesn't think it was that other guy. No. And Thomas, like, does kind of a come on. Like, look. Oh, man. That would have been.

That would have been nice and so then Malcolm leaves and Andrea and Thomas are alone together flirting some more he kind of asks her you know you strike me as a girl who has more ambition than just being the daughter of a prophet. And she's like, well, you know, what am I going to do? Not a lot of options, but he asks her where her mom is. Her mom died in birth. They're just having a little bonding moment. Okay, so he's bandaged up and he goes back into his room. And he goes back into his room. He's drawn a little map on the back of his, you know, travel pass.

That's kind of the layout of the town and where he thinks the big house is, I guess. I don't know if he's seen it yet. I feel like he hasn't, but I think it's on the map um but as he's kind of working on that we hear the a little bell ringing and malcolm is dragging his sister through town center on a cart there she is there she is he's yelling out to everybody you know i know there's a traitor in our midst where you wherever you are come out now or you're going to regret it. I mean, I'll say this about Malcolm. He knows what he's doing.

Yeah. He's making some smart moves. The first effort, good effort. This one, even better. The man knows how to work his own system. That's the scary thing about cult leaders is they're often making smart decisions about manipulating people. Yeah. Yeah.

It's kind of what they're best at. They're really, really, really good at that. Yeah. It's too bad. And making people doubt themselves. They're really good at that, too. Yeah. That's a bad combination.

Okay. So, yeah. So, really good at that, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a bad combination. Okay, so, yeah. So, they've got her out there. Thomas is looking through the window, kind of debating, does he go out? Probably not, because then it's him against, you know, everybody probably won't end well. So, he decides to stay in his room and watch as his sister is, you know, crying, pleading for help. They cut off a big chunk of her hair. And then we cut to Fionn in a bathroom.

And she's looking at her vagina with a mirror. She's looking at her vagina with a mirror. And I was looking on Reddit just when I was looking to see if I could find any trivia or interesting things. And someone just asked the question, like, what did she think she was going to see when she used a mirror on her vagina? And someone commented, someone commented, if the baby waves, you're pregnant. And it really made me laugh. I commented, if the baby waves, you're pregnant. And it really made me laugh. Baby waves.

But she's, I guess, I think what they're trying to say is she is naive and young and doesn't really know how it works and thinks that she's pregnant. And then we see someone watching her, an eye in like a hole in the wood on the outhouse. Ew. And we see that it is Quinn, who is one of the leaders of the cult. And we find out that he is her father. Oh. And then he walks away. Just a very creepy scene. Oh.

So Malcolm's next plan to weed out this intruder is that he's going to throw a festival. And while everyone is at the festival, he's going to search everybody's rooms. God, he has so many good ideas. He's so smart and cool and also hot. I see nothing wrong with him. I'm going to join this cult. I want to join the cult. Yeah.

I want to join the cult. Yeah. And so as he's searching people's rooms, he finds the map in Thomas's room. Thomas, while he's at the festival, is teaming up with Jeremy again and is basically like, I found, I know they have this underground tunnel. I know where the entrance is.

I'm going to go in. I need you to stand guard. And finds this entrance into this tunnel from like below one of the houses. Goes into it. Jeremy closes it behind him. And as he does that, Malcolm has sent Frank and Quinn to go find Thomas because they know that he's now the intruder and Frank runs to the under the house where Jeremy is gets there Jeremy is his son and so he's like what the fuck are you doing and he's like I'm sorry I'm sorry and he just throws him

out and he says get back to the festival. And Frank just acts like nobody is there. So then Quinn and Malcolm are close behind. And he says, I think he's like, he made it into the tunnel. The intruder made it into the tunnel. Wait, who's the son of who? Jeremy is the son of Frank. Jeremy is the one that is having sex with Fionn.

Of having sex. And Frank is the son of Quinn. Yes. So. Of having sex. And Frank is the son of Quinn. Yes. So. Yes. Yeah. So everyone is the offspring of one of the cult leaders. So we feel like this cult's been around for a while, probably as long as these kids have

been alive. Yes. I think they were all. I think they were all born there. Yes. Okay. It's a long time. So. Okay. So Thomas a long time. So, okay.

So, Thomas is now in these underground tunnels. He sees some, like, bloody scratch marks on the walls. It's creepy down there. It's, like, muddy. And Malcolm knows

where he's going to the big house, which we don't know what the big house is yet, but that's clearly where something is. Maybe his sister's there. Maybe something else is there.

Malcolm wants to guard this house. He runs there. He sets up at the top of the little secret door that comes from below, basically pointing a gun at it. So whoever comes up from below, he's going to shoot. Thomas makes it there. And as he's climbing up that ladder thomas realizes that he's

standing right there and decides okay i can't go up there walks back sees another lantern coming he's being cornered by frank and quinn now and he finds a little um hole that goes into basically I think it's like the sewage system but it's also filled with blood too because all these cups of blood I think are going there. Oh everyone's pouring their blood down the drain every night. But it's like also shit I think.

I think it's both. It's really nasty. So he slides into it. Ew, ew, he slides into it. That's enough. That's enough. And so Thomas is swimming through this like shit and blood. And he stays still at one point.

And there's a jump scare of a seemingly dead rat coming back to life next to him. That's really gross. And so that's a little bit of a scare. And then you're like, okay, it's just a rat. And then right after that, something big moves in the water. Ooh, a zombie. He looks, freezes, looks at it and a head raises out of the liquid. And it's an old woman.

Oh, no. and it's an old woman uh oh no and she just opens her mouth and lets out this really high-pitched scream like like a siren they refer to her as a siren at at one point earlier when they're telling kind of the story of the beginnings of the land. And she starts chasing him. So he's running now down this little tube, panicking, and makes it to an exit, tumbles out into kind of a cave. He doesn't know where he is, but turns back to hit her. If she comes out or something, she doesn't come out. It's silent. So he's just gathering himself now in this cave somewhere where he doesn't know where he is.

Oh, gross. We see that there are cave paintings in the cave. We go back into the main house and Malcolm speaks to we see an old woman. How the fuck am I going to describe this? It was really unexpected. An old woman who is being held prisoner. On a kind of throne of branches like she is chained and there's and there's just branches enveloping her and roots and leaves. And it's the woman from earlier.

Is it the woman who was in the sewer? It's the woman who was in the sewer. It was the woman that was walking by the church. It's the same woman. But we see that she's actually being held prisoner and I think can just like project. I don't think it was actually her body. I don't know.

Maybe it was. But she just clearly can't move. Trapped. Because these are happening simultaneously. Yes. She's both in the sewer and in this chamber. Well, we're past the sewer scene, but it just happened. Yes.

So, like she wouldn't be able to like. It wouldn't have time to get clean. Yeah. Yeah. So, it's something supernatural. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. And we see malcolm approaching her looking really angry and she said and he says you showed yourself to him competition she doesn't speak she just makes kind of animalistic noises and malcolm says he won't worship you like i do slices his hand open again drips it into her mouth and as blood is like spilling down her mouth she's drinking his blood and the branches and roots all around the building all start blooming like coming to life. Like as she drinks blood, greenery appears all in the house. So she's some kind of like evil mother nature situation.

Something like that. They call her the goddess. Oh, I see. So that's why Malcolm looked at Thomas when Thomas looked at the lady because no one else could see her. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. That must be it. So he was like, uh-oh, you see her? I'm only supposed to see her. But then why didn't he, like, immediately question him

after that? Well, maybe he wasn't sure if Thomas actually saw her. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. And now he's like, oh, he's the fucking intruder. So on top of that, it's worse. Mm-hmm. But as he's, ascolm is feeding his blood to the woman we see a shirtless man with essentially like a wicker head kind of like the wicker man like a

like a like a beehive almost wicker wrapped around his head. So you can't see his face. We see this person approaching in the background. He's a supernatural character. Is he like a human with some kind of like torture device on his head? He might be a human. We don't know. It doesn't fully answer that. Okay. But so he comes and he has a sack with someone in it that he strings up, which we think is Thomas's sister.

Oh, God. The next morning, Thomas wakes up in the cave. Andrea finds him there and says, you found it. So Andrea knows what's up, knows what's going on on this island. And we get the sense she's not, you know, thrilled to be there. She would not be here if she could choose. And so her and Thomas are kind of forming a little partnership. She's like, let me help you change out of these clothes.

Because his clothes are bloody and shitty. Change out of these clothes because his clothes are bloody and shitty change out of these clothes you're disgusting and as they're changing she asks about the scars on his back and we get a flashback to basically it seems that he was a missionary in china on on a mission that went badly and in revolt uh the people tied him up and branded him essentially with with a cross and the the significance of this moment is that in the flashback it shows that it's basically when he lost his faith that before this was happening he's like yelling out like please god like help me save me help me and it's like obviously not how it works right like i mean yeah that's definitely not how it works it's like if god could do that for every individual person but i I guess if you're a missionary, you're like, I'm God's messenger. I'm really special.

Right. Because she kind of says to him, well, you're you're alive. And he's like, yeah, but. But it hurts. But it hurts. Yeah. But it's not what I wanted. And I asked God for something different.

I asked God for something else and he didn't get it. What aren't you understanding? I'm sorry. Let me break this down for you. This didn't go how I wanted it to go. And God knew that? Here's the thing. God knew it.

And he still let it happen. I'm really shitting on my favorite man, Dan Stevens. I don't mean to be Dan. You're shitting on Thomas. i'm shitting on thomas and the belief in an interventional god interventionist god yeah which is just it's just not i mean it's obviously not it's obviously not there's a lot of proof that it's not that yeah like the whole world of suffering is proof that it's yeah yeah yep um but he's he it's not that. Yeah, yeah. Yep. But he's, it's just showing

that he's a little jaded. He says the promise of the divine is an illusion, but she seems a little more optimistic, I suppose.

She still has her faith and she's helping him. They go through fields of dead wheat, very similar to the witch where she says it just, you know, it was was it used to be abundant and now all the crops are like this you know she's a blight yeah she makes it this way it's toxic

and this is what she is deciding for us or something like that. We go back to Fionn and Jeremy, who Fionn informs Jeremy that she is pregnant. And Jeremy is very excited, asks her to marry him, says like, well, you know, we'll get away. We'll start a life. Just the two of us. Just three of us. It's like very. I'm sure it'll work out really well for them. I bet it will. I bet it will.

I bet it won't be bad immediately right after right now. Oh, no. Yeah, probably not. Probably not. And so, Jer... Wait, I have... I just have a quick question. Does it seem like... Does it seem like this recently happened? Like, she turned on

them recently and like killed all their crops and they're going through a bad period or is it like always it does seem semi-recent yes it okay seems like it was good she changed her mind yes she changed the past few seasons have not been as uh abundant lucrative they're struggling got it got it got it got it okay okay jeremy says okay i have something i want to show you stay right here i'll be right back oh no after he leaves quinn her father walks in looks at her he's not speaking she sees that she's packing a bag and locks the door behind him and she's like dad dad please father let me explain let me explain and he says i don't need you to explain anything and she says i'm pregnant and like this baby is mine and i want to raise this baby and he says you have no idea the monstrosity that is growing inside of you

and she will not let that be born and i won't allow you to go through what like what this means basically whoa whoa so this goddess is a bitch um then we see jeremy kind of skipping back he's got like a book or something to show her and was it worth it jeremy to go get the book and he opens the door and we just see fionn dead on the ground cut open like her baby womb has been cut out of her jesus christ and he freezes and quinn is standing there looking at him and says you did this what the fuck and jeremy's just kind of in shock but then pieces it together i guess and attacks quinn who by the way, Quinn is huge. He's a big man. Jeremy is like a 17-year-old gangly kid, but he really holds his own in this fight pretty well.

And it's a pretty stressful fight. This is where you can see that this is the director of the raid, where it's like someone's got a knife. They're, you know, holding the knife on the eye and then someone else gets the upper hand and they're flipping around. And eventually Jeremy slices Quinn's neck pretty good, but not a lethal slice. So Quinn is holding his neck bleeding and Quinn bursts out of the door. Now Jeremy has the knife in his hand quinn bursts out of the door into the village and is screaming help help he killed fion he's attacking me and everyone gathers around and just sees jeremy with a knife in his hand and jeremy says no no like it's not what happened and quinn is just screaming he killed my he killed

he killed my little girl he killed my baby he killed my angel um it's fucked up and he turns to the other village village people all the village people are there and says you know we need he needs to be purified which is already i feel like a really scary sentence do you think was he using this uh as just an excuse was any of this real the like your baby growing inside of you is gonna i mean i think that's worth it's worth questioning we're not sure yeah i mean those lambs were born fucked up. Yeah, but, like, wouldn't you want to see... Wait and see? Wait and see instead of immediately cutting out a baby out of your daughter and killing her?

I will say, I think my biggest problem with this movie is Quinn, as a character, is he kind of just spirals from here on out just turns into like a super villain and we don't really know there's no real motivation behind it i mean there's a little bit and we'll get there but it's like i think in order for someone to go full like this evil i feel like there needs to be a little bit more backstory we need yeah we need to see more of why yeah yeah do we get the idea that because like i mean i mean, I'm making a leap, but if he was watching her in the bathroom, is it because he was just spying or does he want to fuck his daughter? Is he in love with her? He's definitely rapey for sure.

I mean, it is a little gross. And where is, where, oh, you know what? Where are any of their mothers? We never see any. Yeah, where are the moms all of the moms are seemingly gone oh that's interesting i didn't even think about that but andrea talks about her her mom died in childbirth we don't see fion's mom we don't see jeremy's mom so it is nefarious nefarious i've never used that word before in my life. Well, you used it well just there.

Just did it, Sammy. Congratulations. Thank you. I was inspired by those reviews I read earlier. So he's basically telling the guards, you know, he needs to be purified, sound the alarm. And there's a moment where someone says you know that's malcolm's choice and he says no malcolm's not in charge of everything i'm also in charge of some stuff so it's like seemingly also like a power struggle like he's like fuck malcolm listen to me and so

everyone's looking a little like usually we would need need Malcolm's approval for this stuff, but okay. They start sounding an alarm. Oh, God. Okay. And then we get in. Oh, no. Is it starting to get gory? Oh, no. They're purifying each other. Yeah, the purification. So, we're at the purification ceremony, and no, it's not fun. So, there's a

very medieval looking, well, it's like a slab that they're chaining him up in. Strap his head in, strap his arms in. And even in those, they crank those tight. So it's not just like he's cuffed. He's like in a stretcher. It's not even that

he's just cuffed, but it's that they've put pressure on his bones to hold him in place. The way that they hold him down is by cranking onto his limbs he's like clamped he's clamped in exactly clamps like that episode of Futurama

you guys ever watch Futurama there's a robot named clamps and he's like is it time for the clamps it's just like that it's just light hearted it's exactly like that tonally everything it turns animated in this scene. Yeah, it's cartoon for a second.

But there's a really cool and also upsetting POV shot where so they're also clamping his head in. And so the camera kind of turns kind of like it's POV is cranking up towards the the sky and he is screaming and trying to get out of this but then as the camera turns to like the top something cracks in the camera lens and it looks like blood so almost as if like a blood vessel in his eye like burst it's really gross it's sick but no a very um cool shot so they've got him all clamped in he's screaming he's crying andrea is also um andrea and thomas heard the commotion and in this have run to see what's going on thomas is kind of trying to lay in the background a bit. He knows everyone knows who he is. So, but also this is his friend,

his good friend, Jeremy. So he wants to be there. And Andrea is screaming and crying me like, what are you doing? Quinn? Stop it. He,

your daughter loves this man. And he's like, he killed my daughter. And she knows that he's lying. And she's like, he would never do that and kind of pieces together that Quinn

did it just through how evil he is and is screaming at him you monster and they start shaving the top of of Jeremy's head and with like a straight razor so even the scariest kind of

shaving there can be i mean that's the only kind of razor there was in 1905 but still it's really adds to just the unpleasantness of it all the sound effects of a razor being like shaving hair off so he just has a big bald spot on the top of his head and then we see the medieval looking torture device that is basically just a big metal screw and they possess i hate it i hate this Can we skip this part? Nope. Andrea's screaming, you have no right. You have no right. And Quinn says, Malcolm is a false

prophet. I'm the one who should be in charge. And lines up the screw. Pauses. It's a silent. Everyone is standing, like the rest of the cult is all standing around all dressed in black robes like a hot fuzz thing and it's really silent for a second and he says

let's begin and he starts cranking and the drill is going into his head and he is oh my god screaming and kind of flopping around on the table. But he's going fast and I in watching, this is a really hard scene to watch, but in watching it I was like, I think he would die like pretty quick, I think. Like, yes, there would be about

10 seconds that were really, really, really bad, but I think you'd probably die after 15 seconds. That was how I got through this scene personally and he oh he does he does die he keeps drilling he drills for a while and there is another piece on the drill that's kind of a big circular thing so it's basically taking a big circular chunk out of his head removing the skull and he pulls it back and he holds up a rose petal

and basically says like may this I grant thee the symbol of purity and we get a shot of that emptied out scalp. No! And he with pliers puts a rose

petal in it. Emily is gonna actually drop. Emily looks really upset. It's really gross. So purifying someone just means killing them. I guess so. But like blessing them while you do it. But then you give them a rose. A rose petal. Not a

rose. Just a petal. You put it in their brain. Yeah, it's nasty. That petal, not a full rose. This single petal. Just a petal. We just need the petal. We put it in their brain. Yeah, it's nasty. That's gross. That's super gross. And Andrea is like crumpled on the floor. She's been screaming and crying this whole time. And then they all kind of turn their attention to Thomas and they're like, all right, now you're here, so.

Oh, so they saw him. Yes, everybody has seen him. Your turn. This man is bad at hiding bad at it yes so they bind him up they put like a pole along his arms and tie him up in like a little similar to a crucifix might look and at this moment malcolm runs up he's missed all of this and he's pissed because he's like first of all you just did this ceremony that only i am usually allowed to initiate and and this is when they're kind of screaming at each other and Quinn says okay like if you are the leader that you

claim to be kill Thomas in front of your daughter because you think he can tell that Andrea likes Thomas so Malcolm takes a little or he hands him a knife and he is walking up to Thomas. Andrea again is begging him, please, please, please don't be the man that I fear that you have become. Like, don't prove to me that you are as bad as Quentin, basically. And we see that Malcolm looks pretty conflicted. Like he does have some goodness left in him. He is not just a murdering maniac, but he's also has to prove that he's the leader of this cult. And just as he's about to do it, we hear a gunshot and we hear a commotion.

And Frank, who is the third founder of the cult, Jeremy's dad just realized that Quinn killed his son and oh my god in a very bad way and so he's coming out of his cabin with a gun

he wants to kill Quinn they won't let him kill Quinn or Malcolm like keeps him off of Quinn. And he's like, and then Frank says she needs to die. She's the she's the all our problems. She and he just takes off in the direction of the woods. So they all start chasing him.

So they're they're running to the house and right as they arrive, Thomas, oh, Thomas, Thomas, like, does some cool little martial arts thing, breaking the thing that he's bound to and whacks each of the guards, gets away and also pursues Frank headed towards the house because he thinks his sister's there. He's got to be there. towards the house because he thinks his sister's there. He's got to be there. And as Frank runs into the door, he gets shot. He stumbles out with a gunshot in his chest. We see that the scary man with the beehive head has shot him and shoots him again. He shoots him a few times in the chest. And as Frank is like stumbling out, Thomas is hiding up against the side of the house and sees this fucking scary guy hides from him and then finds another little hole in the ground into that little underground layer and slides in there again before Beehive Head Man sees him.

Beehive Head Man credited as the Grinder. Oh, the Grinder. I'll call him the Grinder now. But speaking of the Grinder, my favorite TV show on Fox. And guys, if you haven't watched it, it's really, really good. I've never even heard of that. The Grinder? It was only on for one season.

It was canceled after one season starring Rob Lowe as a TV lawyer starring rob low as a tv lawyer and fred savage as a real lawyer and their brothers and rob low like thinks he can be a lawyer as well because he played one on tv oh my god it's so funny and it's so good and i'm really sad that's gone so anyways guys go watch it it's not anywhere for free but honestly it's worth buying okay good so okay so thomas has jumped under the house quinn and malcolm arrive and quinn shoots malcolm i don't really remember any cool dialogue leading up to it but they get there they have a confrontation quinn shoots malcolm he falls into the the crawl

space as well or the underground space and we don't know if he's dead but he is he's he's lifeless he's not moving thomas through the little underground part comes up into the house and sees the grinder um feeding the woman frank we see frank's top half of his body and not his bottom half of his body so he cut he cut off his bottom half and and put it through a grinder and so it's's like a cup of meaty blood that he... That's so gross. Like, why? Just why? We don't need it.

We don't need it. And you see that he's like force-feeding the siren. She, again, is... Or the goddess. She doesn't want it. She doesn't want it. She's closing her mouth. She's trying to get away from it.

He's forcing it. And she is tied up or bound up. And still, as she drinks the blood, the foliage grows. So they're going about it the wrong way. So they're basically holding Mother Earth prisoner is kind of the vibe. So they're basically holding Mother Earth prisoner is kind of the vibe and forcing her to to give them good harvests by giving her blood sacrifices. But it's not it's against her will. She's not interested. But so Thomas sees this and then sneaks around the house and finds his sister hanging up in the sack,

cuts her down. They have an emotional reunion. They're crying. And he's basically like, I'm going to get you out of here. Like, I'm here to save you. And just as he says that, she turns and looks.

She sees something. He turns. It's the grinder. And he hits him in the head with the hammer really hard. Blood flies out of his head. He collapses on the ground. And we see... That's two for two. Dan Stevens getting hit in the head with a hammer. Yeah, not good. And so we see from his

point of view, his sister being dragged off by the grinder, and he's like too out of it to move. Too in pain. Too debilitated was the word I'm looking for there. Injured? Yeah.

Hammerheaded? He's too hammerheaded. He's too hammerheaded to do a damn thing. Then we see Andrea back in the town praying. She's crying and praying. And we just see a shot of someone walking in with handcuffs into her room.

And so she turns to the door. Handcuffs. Not looking good. Then we cut back to Thomas, who is now bound with hooks through his hands, like a big fish hook. Gross. I think it's like two fish hooks through his hands, like through both of his hands, connecting his hands together. Fish hooks all in his legs and arms attached to like wire or um rope and he is on essentially a conveyor belt that the grinder turns a little lever thing that's pulling the hook so he's being pulled by the hooks

in his skin towards you guessed it a meat grinder grinder. Okay. Okay. And he's being pulled like head hands first. Um, and he's cranking, he's cranking and his hands go. I mean, there's like a part where it gets so close and I'm like, Oh,

I mean, it's, he's going in it and he goes in it. Um, and he has to wait till his hands get ground up enough that it frees the hook hooks in his hands so basically

the top of his left hand or whatever comes off and frees the nails and so with his he pulls his other hand down once that's free and starts unhooking the rest of the hooks. So he's not but he's still being pulled by like some of them.

So he has to like unhook them quickly because those are still pulling him back. And the the grinder is, you know, trying to hook them back into him. They're getting in a fight. It's so stressful they're getting on a in a fist fight essentially on a conveyor belt into a meat grinder thomas gets all the hooks out slams a hook into the grinder's face well into like the mask of wherever his face would be but we see blood come out we see blood come out of it and so he got he got him and then he's cranking the thing trying to get his head into the thing but his arms are free and i yelled out at this point his arms watch out for his arms and of course of course

his arms reach out and grab thomas and they're he's holding on to him. So now they're both looking like they're going to go in the meat grinder. And then Thomas sees something hanging above them, like a big heavy thing that he basically cuts a little lever and it falls and it smashes onto the grinder's head. So he dies. He does die. Yes. smashes onto the grinder's head so he dies he does die yes and he walks over to the imprisoned goddess and she looks at him and says in a different language that he seems to understand how i've waited for you my son she then puts her hands on his temple and he sees a flashback, like she's showing him something. And we see basically the beginning of when the three men first arrived at the island

and found her and tied her up, held her prisoner prisoner and they were at first feeding her animal blood and then that stopped working and they had to start feeding her human blood and she's basically revolting against them and not giving them good crops anymore because she's a prisoner and doesn't want to be a prisoner and then we go to back to who is now chaining up andrea and thomas's sister in a in a stone room below the church and it has an open roof and he basically says like enjoy looking out this open roof like that's all you're gonna see

for the rest of your lives and they will be long lives and basically tells them that he is going to impregnate them repeatedly and feed their wombs, feed their newborn babies to the goddess. What? Because

human blood is working for, doesn't seem to be working for and I'm going to take charge and this is what needs to be done and Malcolm won't do it. Wait, like newborn baby blood will work then? It's like all so arbitrary. Like he just thinks that I guess. He's just trying to up the ante each time. He's like, we did livestock. That worked for a while.

We did humans. That worked for a while. Seems like she probably wants babies now. I think Quinn is just looking for an excuse to be an absolute sadomegalomania. I think so. He's like, yeah, you're gonna be down here for a long time, so hope you like it down here. It turns to walk out. Thomas is there. Thomas attacks him, stabs him

with a knife, and someone has a gun, and they get in a big fight, and the girls use their chains that they're chained up with to strangle around his throat. Thomas gets on top of him and Quinn uses the knife, uses a knife and stabs Thomas a whole bunch of times in the side. It doesn't look good. It looks like a fatal wound, I'd say.

And then Andrea is using her full weight to drag Quinn by his neck by the chain. And Thomas takes a different knife, plunges it into his heart and as Andrea is dragging him the knife slides down his whole front of him and basically guts him open

like a fish. It's really gnarly. Oh, I skipped some stuff. Shit. I'm sorry. So in... Honestly, honestly, skip it. It's okay. It's okay. Honestly, skip it. Skip it. Skip it. Skip it. No, it's important. One thing's important.

So basically... Sammy! No! Well, because he's... He was with the goddess and she basically says, uh, set me free. And so he starts a fire and she looks really happy and relieved to be on fire. Like she's going back to the land. And as after that, that's when he goes and runs to save them.

And as he runs through the woods, he sees all the other soldiers and guards impaled on various trees like she has done that that was in the trailer and um so the whole town is on fire now and they've killed quinn he gets andrea and his sister free they're running they're trying to make it for the boats they need to get off of this island before it all burns down and he is not obviously he's not doing well he's been stabbed a whole bunch of times in the stomach and he collapses and him and his sister have a very tearful moment where he says no like i came here for you and like you're my the the best thing in my life and like this is what i wanted like i'm not gonna make it please go on without me and and andrea looks at him looks very sad and he says pray for me and she nods like I will. She has her faith back. Oh, this is a religious film. And so they leave him and run, get on the boat.

The island is simultaneously like exploding on fire, but also all the grass is growing. Like it's all getting greener. All the grass is growing like it's all getting greener. And Thomas is sitting on a cliff overlooking where the boats are watching them. Malcolm walks up beside him injured. They're both like bloody and injured. Thomas more mortally so, more fatally so. And they just kind of look at each other and smile. And they just kind of look at each other and smile.

And then Thomas lays down in the grass, which is growing really quickly. And it starts growing into his skin and puncturing his skin and growing inside of him. And he's just looking up at the sky, smiling. And that's the end of the movie. So, wait, so he's so he's like also, he's related to Mother Nature somehow?

Or is becoming Mother Nature? She recognized him. It may be like a self-filling prophecy type deal where because he made it to her it's like oh you're you're the one who was going to say right sort of deal you know right because you're here you are the chosen one you know i mean so malcolm so he so do you think malcolm going to remain a cult leader?

Is there going to still be a cult? I'm a little confused. What do you think happens after? Well, most of it seems as if all of the cult has boarded the boat except for them. OK, so I don't think anyone is left except for Malcolm. And I think it's them just kind of making peace with. We're not in control. In a way, finding their faith again and kind of, you know, relinquishing control.

And in a way, thinking it's beautiful that this goddess or entity is taking back control of her land. Do you think they're setting it up for a sequel that's just like a buddy comedy between Michael Shane and Dan Stevens? I think that could be fun. I'd watch it. I'd watch it for sure. On the island? I would watch it. No knives allowed or meat grinders? Um, so, the prediction

was accurate. I hated it. Yeah, it got really bad at the end. I hated the end end i hated everything that happened i didn't like it either it didn't feel like there was enough of like this is my problem with some of these movies is it's like it doesn't feel like there's enough of a setup really for then all the gore it's like do you know what i mean it's like yes who is his sister and like what's their relationship yeah no it definitely it definitely could have done some more interesting character exploration um but i did enjoy it more

than i thought i would i think the cinematography is really beautiful and the acting is very good costumes are really great um And so it's nice. And like The Witch, it takes you away to that time. But unlike The Witch, I feel like it leaves a lot of questions unanswered. I don't feel totally sure of what these people's motives are. Especially, like I said, I have the biggest problem with Quinn where I just like okay you've been on this place with these people for how long and now

you're just all of a sudden like well I'm crazy now and I'm gonna take control I've had it it's like what have you guys ever has this ever been done it's not to harp on this but like have you ever seen someone make a sequel of a

movie that is the same characters in the same universe but completely different genre wouldn't that be cool i have heard again not not probably not such a huge uh shift but that the the raid 2 whatever that is very different in tone from the raid that the raid 2 is very different in tone from the raid the raid is like just non-stop action like fight sequence fight sequence fight sequence and that the raid 2 is not that

and that's coming from someone who has clearly no details or other information I believe it it really fits in nicely with this movie because it's the same director. Well, I'm glad that I heard about that movie and didn't

see that movie. I'm still disappointed I had to watch the trailer. There's nothing I can do about that now. And I think there were some good lessons to learn about living in harmony with nature. Don't chain up Mother Nature, especially with all these fires going on on the West Coast. I think

it's a lesson is that you know, mankind is a sickness. Mankind is a sickness. And our desire to play God is not going to work out in the long run.

Oh, I learned also that Lucy Boynton is my favorite name. Boynton. Lucy Boynton. Boynton? I'm going to name my child, their first name is going to be Boynton. Boynton. I love it. And I'm going to marry Lucy Boynton so that her name is Boynton Boynton. I think I love

it so much. Genius. That's stupid. Sorry. Okay. Well, this is amazing. Sammy, thank you. I'm going to have horrible nightmares tonight.

Yeah, what a feat. What a feat, Sammy. Thank you very much. You guys are so welcome. I'm going to have very bad nightmares. Yeah, you're welcome. Enjoy. Enjoy them. Enjoy your nightmares.

Enjoy those nightmares um and you too listeners thank you for spending time with us and listening to us talk about meat grinders if anyone needs a a little palate cleanser um i recommend looking up the image of dan stevens in his cgi beast suit um just a little dan stevens palette cleanser for you all that is delightful it's funny every time you look at it even if you've just seen it if you look at it again it's still it's still just as good because because then you get to imagine the days and weeks on set with that man in that suit and how everyone had to be serious about making a movie

with that and it's very funny. It makes acting more impressive. Yeah. Acting is like the stupidest thing in the world sometimes and it's very funny. It's very funny. And then also look up Dan Stevens at the premiere of The Rental in the

weirdest outfit you've ever seen a very rich famous person wear. You can scroll back. We posted about it on our rental episode. Look, Dan Stevens is perfect and we can all agree on that at least, you know? And I was really trying to think of, you know, how to do a Welsh accent and I just don't know so Matthew Rees Matthew Rees

is Welsh you guys know we love Matthew Rees think of something that he says so much when he gives his Emmy speech I don't have the time or the words which would do you justice. Carrie Lynn, he calls her Carrie Lynn.

Something like that. Oh, that's cute. Oh, that was good. That's cute. It was a really good speech. You guys should look that up, too. Emily and I both cried in it. We cried.

We cried. Oh, okay. Well, it sounds a lot like my other for me it sounds like my scottish it sounds like me irish it's all one accent for me uh that's all it is and um good boy good boy goodbye hi guys sammy here thank you so much for listening to another episode of too scary didn't watch I'm sorry that I referred to Wales as an island a whole bunch of times I was thrown off by the boats aka the vessels that they took to get there but I know that Wales isn't an island and Welsh people I love you please don't tell Matthew Rhys about this episode.

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