Too Scary; Didn't Watch - AS ABOVE, SO BELOW

Episode Date: March 31, 2021

A treasure hunt, the philosopher's stone, and a rag tag crew that doesn't ask enough questions - we're recapping As Above, So Below! Join us on a quest through the catacombs into hell...which as it turns out is actually only a couple hundred feet down! Hopefully we can hang out with Lil Nas X down there.As Above, So Below is streaming on Netflix.00:00 - Patron Shoutouts03:34 - Episode starts19:19 - Trivia25:51 - Recap starts Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

All right, you guys, this is it. Our third and final week of March Madness. The results are in. We're doing As Above, So Below. You guys voted on it. Oh my God, spoiler. Huge spoiler. Huge spoiler.

Don't spoil. Jeez, tease it a little, Henley. Man, oh man. It's a good one, you guys. This movie is ridiculous. um it's a good one you guys this movie is ridiculous um but before we get into that it's our favorite time of the week it's time to shout out our patrons we love them so much thank you guys for supporting us this week we have a bunch of new names to shout out starting up with our champions for actors rights we got jessica bovington helena

glanville maxwell snell and lupe rosales thank you guys we love you forever and ever starting now starting now and we love these next folks so much forever and ever starting now who have joined up their vessel heads they want the world to know they love a good vessel and we want the world to know that we love them and they are Jen Vedder and Led and welcome

to the boat welcome to the boat welcome to the boat. Welcome to the boat. We have a freaking buttload of members joining. A true buttload. A true buttload. So many. Joining Tony fucking Collette's inner circle.

I presume they wanted to hear us talk about our least favorite movie of all time, The Green Inferno. Hated it. It was fucking horrible. But we hope you guys liked hearing us talk about it. And these new members are Jessica Gonzalez, Laura Braden,

Russell Woods, Ginny Redmond, Cindy Harris, Morgan Trent, Kat, Shania Vaughn, Leah Hatcher, Katri,

Hannah Pfeiffer, Christy Ariel, Xander, Marissa Bernard, Tootin Watson, Lauren Hostie, Marjorie Berman, Jennifer Schneeweiss, Mary Lyle, Vixie Van Helen, and Natalie Pfeiffer. Man, oh man. What a list. We love them all so much. What a list.

That was amazing. We love you guys all so much, unconditionally, forever, starting now. We're so happy to have you here. It means the freaking world to us. It really does. Man, that's cool. Thank you all so much. Wow.

Before we get to this episode that only spoiled, we've got to shout out a few people who we've already loved and been loving and they joined Tony fucking Glett's inner circle

because they had enough time on their respective boats and ships and we are so appreciative that they jumped up to that inner circle they are Megan Albright Campos Shane Isley and and Danielle M. Rubio. Woo-woo! Thank you so much for your support.

Wow. We just love you all very, very much. We love you all very much. And if you'd like to join our Patreon, go to patreon.com slash TSCW podcast. And we hope that you love this episode. As above, so below below i'll say it again it's spoiled if you don't want to hear it too late it's as above so below and it starts right now this is emily henley and sammy and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch.

Hi everyone, welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves. I'm Emily, and I'm too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley, and I'm also too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Henley and I'm also too scared to watch scary movies. I'm Sammy and I love watching scary movies and I love telling Emily and Henley about them and I love telling you guys about them and that's why we do this. That's why we do this. That's what we do. That's what we do. How are we this week? Oh my god. We made it winter, you guys. It's almost April. That's true. It's touch and go there for a bit.

Touch and go. Oh, boy. We had the Equinox. Vaccines on the horizon. Well, I just moved recently. Apartments. Moved a couple buildings down. And probably everyone knows about this already but just for anyone who is uh thinking of moving or about to move if you don't know there's a service where

you can rent plastic crates do you guys know about this this is probably like common knowledge i just did not know and it makes moving so much easier i only know because of yeah when i helped my um office move they did that. And I was like, Oh, this is great. This is the way to do it. Yeah. So much better. Well, there are a bunch of different ones. So, um, in New York we used one called rent to create, but they also have like box up and all these other ones. But, um, basically you rent them for like seven days or 10 days or two weeks, however long you need them, however many you need, they come and drop them off. They come on dollies. They're like super easy to stack, super easy to fill up with stuff and put on dollies, move around. Like

it's so much better. And then they come and pick them up after a week. You don't have to deal with boxes. It's not wasteful because you're reusing things. You're not like having to put boxes together, tape them up, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, just a little plug for doing some rent-a-crates if you're moving. Love it. I love it. Do they pick up the full crates and move them from your one apartment to your next apartment? They do offer that as a service, but we just had, we hired movers to do everything. So we actually, and actually Tim, since we were only two buildings down, Tim ended up pushing the crates down. So we would have to spend less on movers. So he spent all day

and almost didn't quite throw us back out, which we were planning on happening. So we're planning on happening we truly were planning on it we were like by sunday you won't be able to get out of bed but that's okay oh my gosh tim throws his back out constantly all the time feels like the kind of guy who should hire movers well we did we did but we were trying to be you know economical with our time and our money sure sure um hey who needs a back who needs a back i don't know so that's what's up with me what about you guys um well speaking of broken bodies oh no no it's a it's not so bad but i've been getting on and off this thing called texting thumb oh wait, Emily's had this too. It's back. I keep getting it. And then I, it's when,

it's from the repetitive motion of texting. And so it's my right thumb that I'm just constantly on my phone with. And then it gets inflamed and starts really hurting. And then I have to text with my pointer finger. Like an old person. Yeah. I look like my mom just poking at the screen. And I have to text that way for a week or two. And then it goes away. But it's back now.

And so I'm back to my pointing texting. And it just makes me feel very stressed about the ways in which technology is affecting our bodies. And I go into a big old spiral about, well, what's going to happen in 10 more years, 20 more years? And I just sit at a desk all day. And then when I'm not sitting at my desk, I am texting on my phone anyway. So then I get into a little existential crisis about that. And but I don't go outside. God knows I won't do that. It's worse out there than it is. It is worse out there. Wait, Emily, you also thought that you

had like carpal tunnel syndrome. Carpal tunnel for like one calendar day. And then it seems to have improved. But for one day, yeah, I had this like like crazy like anytime i tried to grab anything with my right hand it would like really hurt and sort of like cramp up yeah it was weird i thought it was from crafting because i just met the day before sewing and then my hand hurt but then it but it's been better ever since but but something about my body that's not better is that you guys know this i've had heartburn for like three weeks oh no it hasn't got it hasn't gone away it has gotten you know better times worse at times i've been doing non-prescription um nexium is that what you call it oh yeah that was my suggestion is it working i think it's working but the thing is like not well enough that i feel like when this

14 day course ends i will will be better. Right. So that is my next hurdle where I'm like, well, shoot, it's not better. And I, you know, I've been being better about what I consume and take into my body, but I'm not going to not drink coffee and I'm not going to not drink alcohol. And it's really seeming like I've got to do one of those things at least for like a period of time just like less that makes it sound like you just drink coffee and alcohol non-stop no I'm doing less I am doing less but it's still like it's not 100% better and so I'm like and also here's the thing so here's what makes it worse coffee

and alcohol and stress and that's like essentially my whole life i was gonna say that's i feel like that's basically everybody's lives part of me is like is it just gonna get better with with time you know it's a long process and i'll just need to keep being good and and will it get better with time when i'm less stressed or is this just my life now you guys know i'm turning 30 soon and i'm like is this just my body now is it just can i just not have things yeah those are my crises where i'm like is this just my life now? You guys know I'm turning 30 soon. And I'm like, is this just my body now? Is it just can I just not have things? Yeah. Those are my crises where I'm like, is this the rest of my life?

Am I either always in pain or can't have the things that I like? And are those the choices I have to make? Yeah, my hips have started cracking when I move. I know that we're young. I know. But like your body gets worse as you get older. That just is true. And it is happening.

And I had my chiropractor tell me that 30 is when your body like stops producing as much collagen. And so I have a lot of like bone issues and my back gets, and Tim's back. Tim can probably relate. Yeah. After 30, it's all downhill. Is this it for me now? We're just one foot in the grave.

Over the hill. There are so many options for heartburn. I feel like everyone has heartburn. You're going to figure it out. There's going to be a solution. There's going to be a solution. There just is. I just there just is i just know that there is a solution and it that it allows me to continue having daily coffee and and alcohol for sure not quite daily because i'm cutting back from daily but like regular alcohol please let me know please let me know i need to me know. I need to know it. Because also I'm like, you know, I want to drink a lot on my birthday.

I need to feel better-ish before that. So then when I do that, I don't feel so much worse after. You know what I mean? So it's just tough, you know? It's just tough. I'm trying to figure it out. It's tough. Bodies are really tough.

Bodies are really tough. And my body used to be able to handle anything. And so it's also just really upsetting to be like, oh, yeah, right. That stops. Changes. And here we are. My brother is seven years older than me. And I remember him telling me that, like being like Henley, there will be a day where you

won't be able to just eat like a full fast food meal and then drink like a bunch of four locos and feel totally fine the next day. And I remember being like, not believing him being like, no, I'll be different, though. Not me. Me. I'm different. It won't happen to me. Well, as you recall, this heartburn episode really got really got kicked up a notch the night that I got Shake Shack and had a cheeseburger and fries and onion rings and a bunch of wine and then was like wait I feel really bad and like why

can't I just do that when I want to do you know what I mean I like can't freaking sucks man it freaking sucks I love my body it lets me move and it's I appreciate it and it's fine but you know I love my body too I just want and it's i appreciate it and it's fine but you know i love my body too i just want to throw in one quick thing which is did i ever tell you about guys about the girl i went

to high school with who only drank diet coke and then her hands curled up into little claws for 24 hours when did like when did her hands i'm sorry i need to understand what i've lost control i've lost control of the thread. No, guys, I'm not joking. Like T-Rex hands. Was she okay after that? What's the science behind this? I don't know what the science is,

but if you only drink Diet Coke and you don't drink water, then it does terrible things. Your body just gets dehydrated and crunches up. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Maybe it was like

when you put like fruit in a dehydrator and just goes like like her hands did that it was very scary so just remember to drink water in addition to the coffee and alcohol don't forget about water here's the thing i definitely drink more coffee and alcohol than some't forget about water. Here's the thing. I definitely drink more coffee and alcohol than some people, but it's not like I only drink Diet Coke all day. Why is my body failing me? I drink water and I

eat vegetables. What the fuck? You eat salads? I eat salads. What is my body doing to me? Okay. Well, obviously this is the first podcast you come to me? Okay. Well, obviously, this is the first podcast you come to for health advice and for feeling optimistic about the future. Yeah, we started this one off really nice. Yeah. Listeners, help us.

Sorry. Help us. Sorry. Help us. Just a cry for help. Is something good happening? What can I say? I have a

visitor cat visited on my doorstep this week and it was really cute. Cutie. I never get neighborhood cats and this one was really friendly so that was a treat. Cats are good. Cats are good. Thank God for cats. Thank God for cats.

We have a good thing to do. I'm happy to be here. I haven't made it clear but I'm happy to be here. I haven't made it clear, but I'm happy to be here. Yeah. Listeners, we will do what we came here to do, which is to recap the third and final winner of our March Madness brackets. Wowie. Which is As Above, So Below.

Came out in 2014. Directed by John Eric Dowdle. Written by John Eric Dowdle and Drew Dowdle. Starring Perdita Weeks, Ben Feldman, Edwin Hodge, Francois Civil, Marion Lambert, and Ali Marhiar. And it is streaming on Netflix, for those of you who would like to watch it. Okay. Had you seen it before,

Sandy, or not? I had not, but I've heard... I had seen it being requested before. This is one that I've seen messages and emails about, so... Um... I was a little surprised that it won, to be honest. I felt like it was up...

It was a tough bracket. I beat the Grudge. I thought for sure the grudge was going to win. I know. I thought the grudge was going to win, too. It was very close. It was super close. We definitely do have to do the grudge at some point. We will. But also for anyone who's disappointed that their request didn't win, we will

eventually do that one, too. They're all on the list. They're all going to happen eventually. Well, I don't know Henley, our list is quite long. Well, hundreds. So it might be a year, it might be two years. It'll happen though. Doesn't mean it won't happen.

This is a great good cop, bad cop situation we've got going on. Hey, what can we say for that that's not cops? Good mmm mmm good girl, bad girl. Good girl, bad girl bad girl good girl bad girl good girl bad girl that's what we do now perfect a classic good girl bad girl

scenario do you guys know anything about this movie no is it like vampires no no is it not. Is it found footage? It is found footage. Okay. That's what I thought. Nope. Okay, but found footage.

Oh, I watched Shaun of the Dead this week, which I realized was the first time I'd ever seen it. Isn't that insane? Really? Yeah, I hadn't seen it. I thought I had, but I hadn't. Anyway, it's really good. It's so good.

Yeah, that's one I have seen. It's great anyway it's really good so good that's i have yeah that's one i have seen it's great it's a great one it's a great one but so that's not this that's not this okay what else is below catacombs well yep it's the catacombs france oh is it like murderers Oh, is it like murderers? I guess. How much longer do you want us to get? Do we like this as the podcast? Wait, are there going to be murderers in this? Rewind.

Oh, boy. Why don't you tell us, Sammy? Well, Sammy, tell us about it. But also speaking, because it's on Netflix, I'm just wondering if you guys have used the feature on Netflix where you can speed up watching something. And I feel like that would be perfect for someone who's curious about a horror movie

but too scared to watch it. You can speed it up. You can watch it on one and a half speed. Wow. Oh, that'd be weird. It would be weird, but I think it would make it less scary for sure. I feel like it might make some stuff scarier. Like, you don't get a chance to breathe. You're like, it keeps happening, keeps happening, keeps happening.

Yeah, but it would ruin all the tension building. That's true. That's true. That's a good tip, Henley. Should we fucking get into this movie? I don't know. Should we? I could keep guessing.

Hi, everybody. It is cocktail hour, and this week we are drinking a Gates of Hell. To make a Gates of Hell, you will need one and a half ounces tequila, two teaspoons lemon juice, two teaspoons lime juice, crushed ice, and lime juice with ice and shake. Strain into an old-fashioned glass filled with crushed ice. And then drizzle cherry brandy over the top. About a teaspoon of cherry brandy. And enjoy. Cheers. Welcome to hell.

Hail Satan. I've got some trivia. Okay. Okay, so this was the first ever production that secured permission from the French government to film in the catacombs. This is actually filmed in the catacombs. It is not a set. Oh, wow.

Holy shit. The film utilizes a set of narrow, winding tunnels of the Paris catacombs, complete with real mint skeletons creepily arranged centuries ago. I mean, the catacombs has six million corpses in them. Oh, I wouldn't feel good about being in there. No. Spooky. This movie's not going to make you feel better about it.

No? Okay. One of the actors, Ben Feldman, actually suffers from claustrophobia and had to keep taking breaks to cope with it. Pretty tough filming location for someone with claustrophobia. Yeah, that would not be good. The title of the film comes from Masonic teachings and lore, which in turn is based heavily on Christian language and belief, specifically being transcribed from a part of the Lord's prayer in which the phrase on earth as it is in heaven, refers to God's will being carried out both in heaven and on earth as he sees fit.

Hmm. Okay. This movie has a 26% on Rotten Tomatoes. Hey, that's not high. A 38% on Metacritic and a 6.2 on IMDb. It's about on par with Green Inferno, which I think is unfair. That's pretty low. Yeah. Did you like it? I'll be honest with you. It's not the best movie I've ever seen, but I think that these ratings are a little bit harsh. I think it's fun. I think it's a very middle of the line movie. I'm not going to see this movie again. I'm not going to think

about it again. Okay. But I had some fun. Great. Perfect. That's all we're asking for these days. That's all we're asking for these days. The budget was $5 million. The box office, $42 million. Okay. Not too shabby, but, you know, obviously not as amazing as some of the found footage films that we have covered.

Mm-hmm. as amazing as some of the found footage films that we have covered. And one last thing I'll say is that this movie plays a lot into biblical stuff and Dante's Inferno and the like nine circles of hell and I don't really know anything about any of that stuff so I'm sorry if I miss any important things that it's alluding

to. I just don't know. I just don't know. I just don't know. I just don't know. I just don't know. I just don't know. But I think that we should watch the trailer, get you guys a little glimpse of these catacombs. Cool.

Let's look at those catacombs. My name is Scarlett Marlowe, and I'm a student in urban archaeology. 370 feet beneath this point is a hidden chamber that might contain a critical missing piece of our history. How are we supposed to get down there? Catacombs. There are 200 miles of tunnels right underneath our feet.

They're holding the remains of six million corpses. Stop. This is the empire of the dead. These are human bones. We go through here? Let's do it. Keep it slow and steady, yeah? I think I'm stuck. Just breathe with me, please.

It's okay stuck What was that What the hell do we do now we can't go back just keep moving Tell me we didn't just go in a circle. It's exactly the same. No, everything's upside down. What happened to the entrance? Wait, there's something here. Oh my god. What the hell is this? When I was a kid we had a piano that looked exactly like this.

I used to play it all the time. The A4 key was messed up. What's going on Can you read that according to mythology that's the inscription over the gates of hell And they should be made to crawl on their belly to enter the kingdom of darkness She Did you hear that? Oh, no! Is somebody there?

What's happening to us? Dad? Go, go, go! it wasn't my fault it wasn't my fault I'm interested you're intrigued I'm interested yeah definitely giving me descent vibes I'm interested. You're intrigued. I'm interested. Definitely giving me Descent vibes.

Yeah, that's the biggest thing. I was just like, man, The Descent is the better movie, obviously. I love it. Of course. So there's just a lot of things that reminded me of The Descent that obviously The Descent does better. So if you're only going to watch one of these two movies, watch The Descent. the descent does better so if you're only going to watch one of these two movies watch the descent that said the descent is great and i understand wanting to kind of copy the descent it sucks that the one time they got approval to film in the catacombs the movie ended up not being good i mean that's just too bad it was too bad i wonder if anything has been filmed there since

there might be stuff that's happened that's been filmed afterwards but i mean they're very spooky yeah it looks scary cool looking but i imagine filming down there would be such a technical challenge yeah i like i bet they wouldn't be able to do it because you can't like disturb i don't know it just feels like that'd be really really difficult. Part of me wonders if they only filmed on there for like a couple of days and then just built everything else. Maybe. They must have had to. There's some stuff in that trailer that I'm like, even. I mean, they wouldn't put a burning car down there.

If a lot of it was CGI. They're not burning cars in the real catacombs. How do they get a car in the catacombs? You know what I mean? They're like, do you mind if we just blow up a car in the catacombs? Great. So now that we have your permission, we're going to light a car on fire. Yeah, I got

a lot of questions, but... Wow, I'm interested. I'm interested! It's interesting. It's an intriguing premise, and I feel like there are parts of it that are very cool, and then parts of it that are just pretty dumb. Less cool.

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Go to hellobello.com slash too scary to get 30% off your first customized bundle and a full size freebie product of your choice. That's hellobello.com slash too scary to start bundling with 30% off your first order. Don't forget that's hellobello.com slash too scary. Okay, so we start with a woman in a bus. And we kind of set up that it's found footage. She's talking straight to a camera. She's filming herself and kind of whispering. And she says, I've just crossed the border into Iran. I think that I'm going to find something.

They're about to blow up some underground caves that she thinks there's a piece of a piece of history that's really important down there that her father was looking for that now she's looking for she says i just want people to know that i came here of my own free will knowing full well that the punishment is being buried up to your neck in sand and having a brick wall pushed on top of you. Wait, what? That's so specific. Specific punishment. And where does one get a brick wall for doing such a thing?

Just like a loose brick wall that you can push over. Also, is it like a trope in movies for archaeologists to be like family endeavors? It's always like a father was looking for this ancient artifact yeah yeah and now i must take it up myself yes um it definitely comes up a lot seems that way um so she arrives to someone who a man's house who's helping her and he kind of pulls back a little secret passageway and there's a tunnel from his home into the underground caves it's all you know found footage it's very frantic and shaky cam and this first scene the pace of it is really rushed because these caves are literally

about to be blown up this evening. And so she's running in there. She runs in with the guy. He's kind of leading her to the part of the cave that she's looking for. Police start coming in and basically trying to clear out to make sure the cave is empty. And they're hiding from them. And she's rubbing on the wall looking for inscriptions. She finds these carvings in the wall. She's reading it. And the cave kind of starts rumbling. And she says, no,

it shouldn't be blown up yet. We still have time. And the man that she's with is like, I'm sorry, I have a family. I can't stay down here. She's like, that's fine. You go back up to safety. I'll come soon. I have to finish this. I have to see this through. And she is pressing on the inscription and she reads it. She says bull head and she's basically needs to film everything in the room before she can leave she's like i have to capture everything this is what i came here for i can't leave until i've documented the whole thing so she's just like running around the room filming because there's more carvings and inscriptions that is gonna she's calling it the the the rose key and so this is a piece of a puzzle that's gonna help her do some other things all very indiana jonesy very like the mummy but anyway so she finally films the walls of this whole cave and the cave starts collapsing or the tunnels or whatever and um she gets out just in the nick of time back into the man's house and the tunnels collapse behind her smoke

is blowing in they're both coughing and the man says you remind me so much of your father just as now's the time now's the time to bring that up. Just two adventurers like father like daughter risking their lives. Absolutely. Wasn't Lara Croft, wasn't Tomb Raider father-daughter stuff? I feel like it's over and over again. I'm not sure, but I would

buy it. I bet it is. I'd believe it. But he tells her you have to be careful though. Your father's quest was a quest to madness and everyone who has searched for flamel's stone has gone insane nicholas flamel i know i was gonna say that sounds familiar the alchemist what was that no it's the isn't that's the harry potter isn't nicholas yeah like harry pot the Harry Potter? What is he in Harry Potter, though? The creator of the Sorcerer's Stone, Dumbledore's friend.

Oh, okay. Then we cut to later. She is now in Paris being interviewed by a cameraman. And we get some more background information on her. She says, my name is Scarlet. I'm a professor at the University Scarlett. I'm a professor at the University of London. I'm a PhD in urban archaeology, chemistry, and symbology. And the person interviewing her says, what did your father teach you about the Philosopher's

Stone? And she says that it could turn metals into gold, could give you eternal life. And he spent his whole life searching for it. And I think this thing that I just found is the key to finding it. Like we're closer than ever before. He says there was rumors that your father was mentally unstable. Well, do you have anything to say about that? And she gets a little, looks a little insulted and kind of goes quiet and says, why? Because he, because he killed himself? Not a very polite interviewer. little seemingly documentary about her search for the philosopher's stone and they're now walking

through the streets of france and she says this is nicholas flamel's house uh he is the alchemist that has was believed to successfully create the the sorcerer's stone or yes philosopher's stone i'm getting confused by my Harry Potter names the British version is Harry Potter and the philosopher's stone so then she says that basically when they

people have at some point tried to dig up Nicholas Flamel's body and his tomb was empty and then they go to a museum and where his headstone or tombstone is displayed. And it's inscribed with an ancient looking language. And she says the rose code that I found will now help us decode his little clue that he put to help us find philosopher stone and it's i think aramaic is what she says and she says i

don't speak that but i know someone who does it's all like super adventure-y up top like feels like two different movies and so she breaks into this little clock tower in a church and Benji is kind of like what are you doing we can't go in here she goes I know the guy

I know he loves breaking into places and fixing things. And they climb up this little, these staircase to this clock tower. And we see the person that she's looking for. And he looks down and sees her and says, whatever you want.

The answer is no, I'm not following you again. And she's like, George, please, please. It won't be like last time. She's compiling a team and the team is hitting all the

right notes already i fucking love it and he kind of turns to benji and she says this is benji he's making a documentary about me and he says benji if you're smart you'll stop making this documentary right now the last time i went anywhere with this woman i ended up in a turkish prison she turns to him and says george i found i found the rose key and he kind of was like what and he says was it in iran she says yeah he says i knew it i knew it was going to be in iran like how did you get it did you go to iran and she says it doesn't matter who went and was it in Iran? She says, yeah. He says, I knew it. I knew it was going to be in Iran. Like, how did you get it? Did you go to Iran? And she says, it doesn't matter who went and you can see him being a little protective. Maybe there's a little romantic history here. Oh, the plot thickens. Is this Ben Feldman?

Yeah. This is the claustrophobic one. So she says, I need you because you speak or can read Aramid. You can help me decode. He's like, OK, I'll help you translate. That's it. Like, I'm not going on any of your adventures with you. So they go back to the where the heads where Nicholas Flamel's headstone is, and he is able to use the rose key to decode it. And it has a little riddle on it. I don't know.

I don't write down the riddle. I'm like, I'm already like sick of all the like, and this means that, and this is that. And so just, just, we'll just trust that they're able to solve something from this.

We're not archeologists in this group. Right. And somehow George comes to the conclusion that, you know, ancient philosophers thought that it was 741 feet to hell. And so it would be. It's not very far. It's not far. And so it would. Something in the riddle says halfway between heaven and hell or something like that.

So they're like they deduce that it will be three hundred and seventy point five feet beneath Flamel's tombstone. That's where they will find the philosopher's stone. And, you know, how are they going to get three hundred and seventy point five feet underground? How are they going to get 370.5 feet underground? And Scarlett says, the catacombs. Of course, the catacombs. Of course. There are miles and miles of tunnels beneath Paris. But not miles and miles to hell.

No, hell is just a couple hundred feet below that. 100 feet below that. And they lay out these maps and basically figure out that the catacombs don't go right under Flamel's tomb. Of course not. And so Scarlet says, we'll have to burrow through. And George says, it's pure limestone. How are we going to burrow through and then they and then george says that there's been three sites over the past few decades that the ground has caved in or collapsed in these three spots and

one of them is pretty close to flamel's tomb and so he says there must be some kind of secret passageway there because the ground wouldn't be able to collapse on pure limestone. And so we need someone who really knows the catacombs for assembling a team. Compiling a team. This is basically an Oceans movie.

Yeah, it's an Oceans movie. It's like a Marvel movie. Do they do that in Marvel movies? I don't know. Feels like a superhero movie. They do it in like Suicide yeah exactly exactly this is like this is just like suicide squads exactly like it's suicide squad meets what's the movie nicholas cage was in national treasure national treasure and so first they kind of they're just the three of them go down on just a regular tour of the catacombs led by you know tour guide tour guide and a group of people. And as they're kind of going through, getting near to where they need to go, they. He knows the tombs better than anyone. You can find him at this club. And they're like

okay, thank you. And then they turn. The tour guide is yelling at them because they're falling behind. And then they turn back and the guy's gone. Oh, I love it. They're like, huh, weird. So after the tour, they go to the club. Weird, that man answered a question we didn't ask. And now he's gone. Let's trust him though and let's go to the club. Weird, that man answered a question we didn't ask. And now he's gone.

Let's trust him, though, and let's go find this guy. Yeah. So they go to the club that he says, and they're asking around, and they find Papillon. Isn't that a kind of dog? Sounds like it. I think a Papillon is a kind of dog. Well, this is a man. This is a human man.

This is a man. A human man. So they find him at this club and basically propose to him we need someone to take us down to the catacombs. He says, do I look like a tour guide to you? Oh, good. Sammy, I didn't see that coming.

Oh, yeah. Emily's right. Emily is right. It's a type of dog. Yes, that's how it's spelled. Papillon. Papillon. And Scarlett says, do I look like a tourist? And says, I'm searching for something, some valuable treasure. There is a part of the catacombs that no one has been to.

And he says, impossible. Like, I know every part of the catacombs. And she says, this part would have been constructed to be invisible. And unless you knew what you were looking for, you would never find it. And he says, well, if we find treasure, can we get half of the treasure? She says, you can have all the treasure. I'm not after the treasure. But if you lead us there, yeah, you can take all the treasure.

And he's like, great. Okay, great. I'll do it. And I got to assemble the rest of my team. So we get, he introduces us to Sook-See, and then his friend Zed, and they kind of have a van with all their gear in it. They start gearing up, and this is the next day.

And as they're kind of gearing up, Scarlet is trying to convince George to come with them. Like, please, George, I need you. And he says, no way, absolutely no way. You know, I don't do caves. I don't go underground. And she says, I know. I just could really use you there.

And he's like like no way in hell I'm not doing it and Benji's filming everyone and kind of doing some little pre going into the catacombs interviews and says to Succeed like what can we? What could go wrong down there? What should we be mindful of and she says if our battery if we run out of batteries and our lights um we won't be able to see anything we could run out of water we could get injured um basically lots of stuff could go wrong a similar similar to the descent pep talk in the beginning things bad things can happen in underground situations yeah and as benji's filming uh papillon he sees that his hand has a burn on it and he turned like a bad burn and he turns to zed and asks

what happened to papillon's hand and zed says we don't talk about that. Then they are all geared up and Papillon says, we've got to be quick. If cops see us going in there, we're going to be in big trouble with all this gear. So they run down to these kind of abandoned train tunnels and find this secret entrance way into the into the catacombs. And George is saying his goodbyes again scarlet's trying to convince him please come he says no i'm not going and right at that moment someone runs at papillon and tackles him and we see that it's a cop but he runs at him like at such a high speed it looks like i i thought it was gonna be a zombie but it's just a human cop that's tackling him and a really fast cop yeah and just like immediately tackling them um

and so this commotion breaks out pepion gets away george kind of panics and runs into the entrance too. They all run into the catacombs and Papillon is throwing little smoke bombs out and they're kind of zigzagging in and out through the tunnels. They're running and they lose the cop and Papillon's like, cops can't catch me.

They can't catch me. And they did it. They evaded the cops and now they're all in there. George is pissed. He does not want to be there. Benji's getting everybody suited up with headlamps because it's dark in there. And so Benji's holding his main camera. And then also everyone has a GoPro basically on their headlamp. And he puts one on George. George looks very mad and Benji says, oh man, you really hate caves, huh? And George storms off and

Scarlet comes up to him and says, his brother drowned in a cave when he was here. And Benji is like, oh my god, I didn't know. And she's like, it's okay. It's okay. You didn't know. You didn't know. And she's like, it's OK. It's OK. You didn't know. You know.

But hey, Scarlett, you did. Yeah. So maybe you should never have asked him to even be a part of this. So he can't. Can't he back out now? Or what happened? What made it so that he had to go with them? I mean, I know the cop chased them, but couldn't he just turn around?

I guess he's like, I'm already in here. Might as well keep going. Yeah, I guess. I mean, I feel like in here. Might as well keep going. Yeah, I guess. I mean, I feel like, yeah, he probably could have. To answer your question, I think he could have. But he doesn't. He reluctantly pushes forward. And they're now kind of winding through these tunnels of the catacombs.

And we see a lot of graffiti on the walls and Papillon taps a place that says Pap and that's his tag. And we see he's like, oh, it's me. And there's a few of those around. That's his little tagging sign. And as they move further into it, we hear this kind of these women singing

and everyone's kind of like what the fuck is that and pepion says oh there's like weirdos down here sometime sometimes and they pass one little room and it's all these women looking like they're doing some sort of ceremony like a witch witches or a cult or something just kind of with their faces painted and they peek in and the women look and kind of that just are like oh weird okay let's keep moving cool and so they keep moving and papillon leads them to this tunnel that's basically filled with bones and says, you know, here it is. This is where we have to crawl through here. That'll get us to the more, I don't know, hidden tunnels.

And Scarlet's looking at her map and says, no, no, no, this isn't right. This tunnel would be a faster path. This is a more direct, like that's the direction we need to go. This way would save us probably hours. And she starts kind of peeling a stone. It's like a filled in tunnel and she starts pulling stones out of it. And Pepiana is like, no, we are not going that way. pulling stones out of it and pepion is like no we are not going that way that tunnel is evil anyone who has gone in there has never come out says we had a friend named uh what is his name la taupe la taupe la taupe which means the mole that lived down here for years and years and knew these tunnels better than anyone and he knew that that tunnel was evil and he wouldn't go in there. But eventually his curiosity got the better of him and he wanted to

figure out, he wanted to see what was in there. And no one has seen him since. That was two years ago. So I'm not going in that tunnel. If you want to go in there, fine, but I'm not going and I'll go this way. And George says, you know, they know this better than we do. The stone has been down here 600 years. What's a couple more hours if we go a longer route? Like, who cares? Let's just go the way he says. So they do.

And they start crawling. Zed goes first, crawling through this very tight passageway filled with bones. Just looks like a real nightmare. this very tight passageway filled with bones just looks like a real nightmare and as he's crawling he starts screaming and his legs start shaking and they all start screaming and he goes oh just kidding i'm fucking with you guys classic fake out boy needed one classic fake out and so they go one at a time, crawl through this very tight passageway. And Benji is going last and he gets a little stuck, maybe because he's carrying the big camera and he starts having a panic attack. And this is very much this is straight from the descent.

attack and this is very much this is straight from the descent this is an exact scene from the descent where the camera uh it's scarlet that's facing him and so her camera is on his face and his camera's on her face and we kind of see it's actually just stays on him as he's like i'm stuck i'm stuck i'm stuck i'm not gonna i can't make it through i can't fit i can't fit and she's like you need to calm down you need to calm down um pull your arms in closer to your body he's like you can't I can't like and the women are like singing louder the little uh witchy looking women and he's like why are they singing why why why are we doing why is it why is this happening why is that why tell them to stop singing and she's like you need to scrape, push the bones out of the way. And so he starts kind of raking his fingers through the bones to kind of clear more space for him to crawl through. And as he does, we hear a bad rumbly noise and the walls start shaking.

And they're like, you got to fucking move, move, move. And they like are pulling him and they get him out just in time and the passageway collapses behind them exactly from the descent exactly from the descent and they all are like covered in in dust and coughing and turn and look at the closed passageway and they're just like oh fuck fuck fuck fuck and then they turn and and look around to see where they have arrived and or look in the room that they're in and uh there it's as if it's a reverse of the room that they were just in like the the tunnel the evil tunnel is in this room also with the stone pulled out that she had pulled out and she says did we just go in a circle and he says no no no you could papillon

is like freaking out and it's like this isn't right this isn't right this isn't where this tunnel goes i've been through this tunnel before like this is not right and that tunnel shouldn't be here like what's going on what's happening and she's like you told us that this is not right and that tunnel shouldn't be here like what's going on what's happening and she's like you told us that this is where this goes like what why did you take us through here and he says no like i swear like this is not right something's going on i don't understand what's happening and uh there's more tunnels ahead kind of um like mirror images of what they have just been through and i think scarlet says well i mean i guess we just have to keep moving we can't go back the way that we came we have to find another

way out and which way should we go and pepion says i've i've never been here i've i don't know like i don't know what's happening and so they just kind of move forward down the main hall and ahead of them. And there's a pap tag, graffiti tag on the wall, his tag. And Scarlet's like, oh, you've never been here before? And he's like, I swear to God, like, that's not that. I don't know what's happening. That's not that's not mine. I've never been here before. it's happening that's not that's not mine i've never been here before and then a old-fashioned phone ring we start hearing a phone ringing in the distance like echoing in the underground do we still hear the old lady singing or not anymore not anymore um but they're all kind of like what the fuck is their phone is their phones down here and papillon says there was phone lines that they routed down here but there wouldn't be actual phones down here and they're kind of looking at the walls and george sees um a sign on one of the walls some of the walls have carved into them you know letters and numbers

that are basically equivalent to like street signs kind of telling where they are and he says this is one of the spots where the ground collapsed this is like he's looking at his map of the catacombs and it matches the spot that i guess the the ground collapsed in a decade ago or whatever wait why did it matter that the ground collapsed again because that's how he knew there was like more catacombs secret i think it's how they knew there was yeah secret passageways okay because the ground secret rooms because it wouldn't have done that with solid ground underneath even Even though I feel like that can happen, right? Yeah, for sure.

I have no idea. I think it does and it is very scary. I feel like sinkholes are one of the scariest. Yeah, there was one that happened like near my hometown recently and it just swallowed like a bunch of cars and like an electric pole. That's so scary.

It's just, just yeah very scary well didn't need to add that to my list of things to be scared of yeah no don't google sinkholes they're really scary really scary i won't um so they're kind of navigating these hallways trying to figure out which way to go and they get to this one little room and there's a piano in it dusty old old piano and george says we had a like well first he's like what the fuck like how could this be down here and benji says maybe it fell when the ground collapsed like you said like maybe that's left over here from when the ground collapsed and george says maybe it fell when the ground collapsed like you said maybe that's left over here from when the ground collapsed and

George says we had a piano like this when I was kids me and Danny used to play it all the time the A4 key was fucked up so we could never play the one song that we knew how to play and he starts playing it and he gets to that A4 key and it is fucked up and his face looks

very upset and he like looks like what the fuck is going he turned like whips around and looks all of them what's what is happening uh what's going on right now and then the phone the phone is ringing again and scarlet just runs in the direction of it and they're all kind of chasing after her like scarlet like don't go right like don't you could get lost and they're chasing her and following her and she finds this room that the phone is in it's just a like old-fashioned telephone on a little side table again very dusty looking shouldn't be down here in these tunnels and she answers it and it's just a man groaning it's like

she's like who is this who is this um and then the line goes dead um and then at that moment they hear something coming from around the corner of another tunnel. It's like a maze kind of down there. And someone appears and they turn and look and they're like, who is that? Who is that? And they shine a light and it is Latope, the friend who went

missing two years ago. Ooh. And he he is very creepy this actor did a great job he just is kind of he's tall and

looks just very dazed and Pepillon and Sook-See and Zed are you know super surprised to see him and are just like, Latope, where have you been? And he looks at them and says, Sook-See, you shouldn't be here. None of you, none of you should be here. And then they do not ask enough questions in this moment because I guess they're panicked and they're trying to figure out how to get out.

But it's like, well, you need to stop and have like a big conversation with Latope here. Yeah. Where have you been for the past two years? Are you OK? What are you eating? How are you alive? Why shouldn't we be here? Where did this son come from? Why is my childhood piano here? here why shouldn't we be here come from why is my childhood piano here yes they do not ask him any questions they're just like we need to get out of here how do we get out and the taupe says you didn't even come to look for me you didn't even come not once brutal and they're like i'm sorry let's hope like how do we how do we get out and he says the only way out is down and it's like turns and is like follow me and moves impossibly quickly to the end of the hall and they shine their light and are all like how how did he get over there so fast like he moved like 50 feet in a second and they're like well i guess he's just fast. Like, let's just keep following him. Oh, my God. Yeah. Let's follow the guy who seems to be like clearly angry at us for not looking for him

for two years. Deeper into whatever this is. How have you been surviving for two years? What are you eating? Oh, and that's the other thing. He has no headlamp. And so they, Sook-See says, how does he see down here? He's just moving quickly through these tunnels with no lamp.

And his pupils are really big. They make his eyes, I'm sure there was some contacts that he was wearing. He looks creepy. And so they are kind of running to keep up with him, following him. And he leads them to these boards that are laid down on the ground and pushes them aside uncovering a very deep well that goes further down and says the only way out is down you got to go down here okay and i can't remember why something to do with the the riddle again scarlet is able to to convince them all that this is a good idea she's like well according to the riddle it is

you know further down and the location we're at is about right um how would she possibly i don't know i don't know but the riddle says okay the riddle says, okay? The riddle says. Fine. Yeah, I believe in riddles. That's foolproof logic if I do say so myself. So with seemingly no other options or, I don't know, no better options, I guess, they decide to rappel down this well. They've got climbing gear.

So they start rappelling down and um as george is kind of halfway down he looks up and calls to benji benji are you okay and benji says i i don't know and something happens benji we see him like falling down and screaming my hands and they both fall and kind of hit the bottom. It's not I think the the impact of Benji hitting George kind of slowed his fall. So they both just hit. It's not like a terribly bad fall. terribly bad fall but benji's hands are really fucked up and we can see that he was again like the descent trying to hold on to the rope and it sliced both of his palms open out so scarlet is wrapping his hands up and they're just once they get his hands wrapped up just she's again says we just need to keep moving forward we need to keep moving forward. We need to keep moving forward. We need to be fast. Like our time down here is going to be limited. Our batteries are going to start running out on our headlamps. Like we got to move quickly. Like no time to stop and ask

questions. And so they walk down this little kind of narrow hallway. as george takes a step forward into it he kind of falls down and we see that he falls into there's a shallow pool of water and as he falls into it all the sound disappears and none of them have fallen underwater. But it sounds like it's underwater because they're all like muffled. Like it's really creepy. I liked this part. And they're all looking at each other and Scarlet's like clapping and it's not making noise. And it's so disorienting. Imagine walking into a room and all of a sudden not being able to hear.

It's really creepy. That's cool. Yeah, that's cool. Wait, so they all fell into the water or just George fell into the water? No, just him and just one foot. I mean, he's just halfway and I don't know if it has anything to do with it. But they're all in this like new room. Yeah.

And then after a moment, a really, really loud noise starts and they're all covering their ears and running and it's all very you can't totally tell what's happening their little gopro cameras they're just running uh i guess away from uh the noise and as they're running one of the cameras turns to look down another little hallway you see a little boy like a little ghost looking little boy not a good little boy not a normal not a normal little boy and they make it to the end of this hallway and the sound stops and scarlet says what what was that what the hell was that and latope says the question is not what but who and then she turns to... Hey, Latope, what?

Can you explain that? And she turns to Pepion and says, like, what the hell does he mean by that? And then she said, how long have you known him? And he says, he's different now. And she says, should we be following him? And he says, I don't know. And she says, should we be following him? And he says, I don't, I don't, I don't know. And it's like, motherfucker, you knew from the moment you saw him, this was a roll of the dice.

This is a man who has been in these tunnels for two years and is just. We should have asked this question before. Yeah. So they get to the end of this hallway and it's a dead end. And they're all freaking out again because this is supposed to be the direction, according to Scarlet. And they're like, well, now what do we do? This is a dead end. And again, some more little Indiana Jones shit happening.

She says she turns to George and says, it's a Ptolemy, a Kinch, a Ptolemy, a Kinch. And in ancient times, they would hide passageways. And there's another riddle. And she says, we need to find the exact number of you move the exact stone. And if you move the wrong one, the whole thing, the whole thing will collapse. That's potentially when these holes in the streets of paris happened these tunnels collapsing um is pulling the wrong stone and so they have to solve another little riddle to figure out what stone to pull And they do it. They get it right. And this new tunnel reveals itself. Basically, a little stone rolls out of the way and reveals this long tunnel that she is, Scarlet's very excited about. Nobody has seen this in 600 years. We're on the right track. This is it.

They all climb through this tunnel. Why do we need this stone to begin with? Like, what's the big deal? I mean, it's her family, like I said, her father. Right. Sure. Right. Right. I forgot. Her father wanted to find it and she does too.

And doesn't it give you a mortal life? It's eternal life. Who would want that? Eternal life. And it can. I just want eternity without heartburn. I want like five years without heartburn and then I can have death.

You know what I mean? I don't want to live forever. Just till you're 35. Just a pleasant 35 is all I want. I mean, as we. It's a really good 35. I mean, as we, yeah. It's a really good 35. As we established, we're close. We're close to death.

Our bodies are failing. We're over the hill for sure. Yeah. Shit. Do we need to go on a hunt for the Philosopher's Stone? You know what this also reminded me of? Was in Color Out of Space when we talked about Nicolas Cage going on a quest for the Holy Grail that is a real thing that Nicolas Cage has done

that's right I forgot and he was like it was completely worth it right yeah I think so that's amazing maybe we got to do a quest guys might be time for a quest might be time for us to take a quest we've almost it's vaccine is a quest. Might be time for us to take a quest.

We've almost, the vaccine is near and I think the second we're vaccinated. Oh my God, that's such a good idea. Spray tan quest. Spray tan and a quest. Spray tan Botox quest. In that order. In that order.

We're going to look so fucking good for this quest. Honestly, let's make quests cool again honestly let's make quests cool again let's make quests cool again let's bring back quests let's bring back quests i'm starting to sound like queefs is it henley to me they sound like two different words i did not hear queefs i did over and over again over and over again uh so they get into this new hidden room and there is a corpse laid on a slab kind of like in an ancient egyptian tomb type of thing. But the corpse is not at all deteriorated. Like, this looks like a man who

has recently died. But she says this man died 700 years ago. And they're all like, why the fuck is he still, like, in such good condition? She's like, I don't know. How does she know he died 700 years ago? She just knows. I think, maybe it's Nicholas Flamel't i don't how does she know he died 700 years ago i think maybe it's

nicholas flamel i don't know oh okay sure i don't totally know but yeah i think she knows like who it is she says she's got a phd in archaeology yeah yeah she knows she knows what's up um and they see on one of the walls is a word is carved in says vitriol. And this is some anagram for something. I don't know. Again, a lot more riddles. She's speaking Latin now. And she figures out that vitriol. Oh, vitriol is like the word for alchemists.

I don't fucking know. I couldn't follow all this shit. like the word for alchemists i don't fucking know i couldn't follow all this shit but uh somehow seeing vitriol makes her decide we we have to go deeper um we're not there yet this isn't it everybody turn your headlamps off and they all turn and benji's like fuck that there's like a dead guy right there and she's like it's gonna be fine it's gonna be fine they all turn and Benji's like, fuck that. There's like a dead guy right there. And she's like, it's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine. They all turn their headlamps off and there's a glowing light from the ground and they turn the lights back on and they see that there's like a little pool of water and some stones underneath it and she jumps right into the pool of water starts pulling these stones out she says I think this is a passageway clears the stones out and just like dives and swims through this passageway George is like Scarlett stop what the fuck are you doing she makes it through

we see her come up the other side into this room filled with treasure with a flame burning and a wall with kind of a mural drawn on it and then george back in the other room jumps in to follow her starts swimming through and very deeply triggering for George. Seriously, this is not good for George. George is not happy. George is very stressed. George hasn't been happy for quite some time. No. I don't blame him. And he gets there.

We into the into this new room and we see that Scarlett is crying with happiness and she says, this is it. This and she says this is it this is it this is the room and the rest of the crew

one by one kind of swims in she is very hypnotized by the not distracted by the treasure she's looking at this mural and this again with her kind of decoded riddle

thing, she's like, this is where the sun and the moon meet. And the sun is going to be the philosopher's stone. And we see this little jewel embedded in the mural. And she takes a little hammer, knocks it out. She's like, like it's so it looks so simple like simple like hidden here it's the best way to hide it is in a room full of treasure where nobody like nobody would think to look at this thing and of course everybody else everybody's coming to this room everybody's coming to this room but uh papillon and zed and sooksy are opening the gate to the treasure room and like way too late scarlet turns says no that's a trap which is like bitch why why wouldn't you stop at the door and be like, hey, before everybody comes in here, let me

just tell you that this is a trap. If I know that information, I'm not like getting distracted and doing my own thing in this room. Anyways, she. Look, Scarlet. Pretty selfish. Yeah, she's being really selfish. I have a lot.

I take issue with a lot of Scarlet's choices. Yeah, she's making bad choices. Yeah, I agree But it's too late they have opened This room of treasure and the Ceiling collapses Onto them like the middle Of the room kind of

Caves in they are able to Run to the sides of the room And Most of them get out Okay But Sooksy gets pinned of the room and most of them get out okay but Sook-See gets pinned under some rocks and

is screaming in pain and they're also like La-Took. Is it La-Took? I have no idea. I was going to ask you about him a few minutes ago but I completely forgot what he's called. La-Tope. La-Tope. I was going to say you about him a few minutes ago, but I've completely forgot what he's called. Latope. Latope. I was going to say Lupit.

Latope is, has kind of been with them, not really interacting or participating or saying anything. And now he's gone. They think he's buried in the rocks and they start kind of trying to dig it up. They're like, Latope, Latope. Scarlet says, I don't think that's a good idea. I don't think we should be digging through the rocks. But they're able to pry out Sook-See, whose arm is super fucked up.

And she is screaming in pain, kind of putting pressure above it, holding it. And Skrat's like, wait, wait, wait, I've got the perfect thing. She grabs the philosopher's stone and.

Oh, my God. This bitch kind of scrapes some little shavings off of it onto the arm and says it's going to hurt. Presses her hand on top of these shavings and holds it tight. She's pressing rock dust into her wound. Presses it for a couple seconds and pulls her hand up and the arm is healed. Oh my.

Imagine if it weren't and she was just like, what the fuck? You just put dirt in my wound. And they're all convinced now this is real, this is the philosopher's stone and uh they kind of get up and they're kind of looking how can they get out now the room is all

caved in they're looking for an exit and uh scarlet sees this drawing on the wall of these two right side up triangle and a upside down triangle with a man in each and she says uh oh this is as above so below uh what i can't remember what she says what exists in me exists everywhere scripture some scripture stuff we got the name of the movie oh yeah we got the name of the movie they notice a door carved into the into the ceiling of this particular little cave room and she says as above so below like the there must be a door below this door carved into the ceiling and they look and it's solid rock and she says i don't think that it is solid rock. She takes a rock and starts smashing it and the floor

falls out and reveals another well going another hundred feet down. I mean at this point we're only 100 feet away from hell I think. We're getting a little too close.

A little too close for comfort. They crawl down that one and there's an entrance to another tunnel and it has some inscription above it in another language and Scarlet asks George if he can read it

and it says, abandon all hope, ye who enter here. Not what you want to read. Scarlett's like, oh. I wasn't expecting that. Yikes, yikes, yikes, yikes. Oops, oops, oops, oops. And

Benji asks her, what? What do you mean? What's going on? And she says, her, what do you mean? What's going on? And she says, well, that's according to scripture. That's what's engraved over the gates of hell. And there's nowhere else for us to go now. So we have to go. Let's go to hell.

Let's do it. Let's just do it. go let's go to hell let's do it let's just do it so they shimmy through this little tunnel and they get to the other side and come out and it's the same room that they were just in and pep pepion is like what the fuck this is this is exactly the same exactly the same as where we just were. And Scarlett says, it's not exactly the same. Everything's reversed. And she sees that drawing of the two triangles and the colors are flipped. So it's as if it's upside down. And she says, yeah, everything is, it's a mirror of what we were just in and then they turn to look back and the door that they came in has disappeared and it is just a flat rock surface where they just came through

so this room now has the same little swim tunnel so it's now that they have to kind of reverse go through what they've just done. So they swim back through this little tunnel and come up on the other side and it's in that's the room with the tomb now. The guy, except now

his corpse is deteriorated as if he has been there for 700 years. Hmm. They come up in this room and LeTope... God, I forgot his name again. That sounds right. LeTope. LeTope.

LeTope. LeTope. He is sitting motionless in the corner of this room. Uh-oh. Looking real creepy. And not speaking. Is he the same guy who said you gotta get Pappy on the club? No.

Okay. That was just a random guy. Maybe. gotta get Pappy on the club? No. Okay. That was just a random guy. Maybe. Or maybe we haven't met that guy yet. Oh my god, maybe he's the devil. Is it the devil? No. Oh. Okay. And Sook-See starts

kind of approaching him, like tiptoeing like, whatever your name is. Guy, friend. Why'd you pick such a confusing name? Buddy, pal. And she's like tiptoeing towards him. And they're like, Sook-See, like stay stay back from him and he as she kind of touches his arm he jumps up and grabs her and she jumps back and is able to not he doesn't he doesn't get her and

then as soon as she gets away from him he like freezes again and now he's just standing up standing still and motionless and she again approaches him and is like, are you OK? What? Get away from this dude. No, he is not OK. And she touches him one more time and he grabs her and smashes her face super, super hard a bunch of times into the rocks. Oh, all right. So it begins. You know, fool me once. Super hard a bunch of times into the rocks. Oh, all right.

So it begins. You know, fool me once. Fool me once. Shame on you. Fool me twice. Shame on me. That's what's shame on me. Shame on me.

My head gets bashed. It's actually fool me can't get fooled again. Fool me. Fool me once. Shame on me. Fool me twice. Fool me can't get fooled again. Do you guys know this?

What's that from? No, that was George Bush trying to use this quote. Did he actually, this actually happened? Oh my God, yes. I can't believe you don't remember this. It was so funny. He was basically... Remember when he was our stupidest president? I mean, he was quite stupid.

He meant well. That's what's too bad about George Bush. I don't think that he did. I don't know that he did. I think he was just really stupid. And just let everyone else make decisions for him. And was just like, I think that he was right. Yeah, I guess Dick Cheney was his vice president who is like

pure evil. And Donald Rumsfeld was like horrible. And Karl Rove. all those people were bad people well and george bush was just kind of like you guys are fun you want to hang out just kind of going along with the starting starting wars not really stopping anyway yeah you can't can't really be good if you're cool with that. Yeah, he's not good. Don't get me wrong. I don't think he's good. But he was trying to quote, fool me once, shame on me. Or fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me. And realized halfway through saying it that it would end with shame on me. And he didn't want that to be the case. And he was trying to still put the blame on who... I can't remember what he was talking about. But he goes, you got to watch this video. He this video he's like you fool me can't get fooled again he says no no one will this will just slip past everyone no one will notice this god it was funny fool me can't get fooled again so sook-si was probably thinking fool me can't get fooled again. So Sook-See was probably thinking, fool me, can't get fooled again.

Fool me, can't get fooled again. She's like, I know how this goes. You fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you can't get fooled again. Fool me, can't get fooled again. She's a huge fan of George Bush. Huge fan of George Bush. This French woman is a huge fan.

Huge fan. A former U.S. president, George W. Bush. Yeah. Did I not mention she's got a huge George Bush tattoo former u.s president george w bush yeah did i not mention she's got a huge george bush tattoo she's got george bush with a heart so funny i'd love that if that was just like a side point in a character but they just love george bush has that ever happened in a movie ever i don't know we gotta make it it will it'll happen it'll happen in the movie about our quest once we're done with our once we're done with our quest which one of us is gonna fall in love with George Bush

well we gotta have a crew it can't be just us we gotta have at least six we'll have silent Jenna too okay silent Jenna is getting a George Bush tattoo and okay so Okay, Silajana is getting a George Bush tattoo. And okay, so Sook-See, her face is really smashed in. She dead?

She's for sure dead. Yeah, okay. And Pepiana is crying, leaning over her, saying, do the stone thing again, Scarlet. Do it again. And Scarlet says, it's not going to work. It can't bring people back from the dead. It can heal, but it can't bring people back.

But he's like, just fucking do it. So she does it. Oh, no. It doesn't work. And so they put a little jacket over her face, her horribly, horribly smashed face. It looks really, really bad. I mean, she's dead. It's that bad bad i mean she's dead it's that bad is that bad it's that bad and where is lupot here oh that's the other thing is that they lupot

my buddy my pal where's my buddy as as this as he was smashing her face and they're all running towards her they kind of they like lose they're like point the light point the light and keep it keep an eye on him and he kind of just disappears in the corner of the room and they shine a light everywhere and he's no longer in this room he is gone and scarlet says i'm sorry we we have i'm so sorry we have to keep moving we have to keep moving a passage have to keep moving. A passageway. Seems like we maybe went into the evil tunnel. I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say somehow we entered the evil tunnel.

Seems that way. So another passageway appears, like the one that they found on the way down, where it just rolls open, revealing a new tunnel. And they're like, well, let's go. rolls open, revealing a new tunnel. And they're like, well, let's let's go. And then they get to another well, that first well that they went down. Now they're back again. And Benji's like, we just keep going deeper and deeper. Like how much fucking deeper can it go? And they start rappelling down this well. Andji is going last and we see him at the top of the well and they're calling up to him. Everyone is already down at the bottom and they're calling up Benji.

Is everything OK? He's like, yeah, it's fine. I'm just like getting my camera. And we see a woman cross the tunnel like behind him. And it looks like one of the the the singing women. And it's very creepy and he kind of hears something and says hello is anybody there and kind of does the thing where he picks up his camera and he's turning it and so you just see the camera's pov kind of moving in circles and kind of going back and forth and nothing's there and nothing's

there and you just fucking know something's coming this is gonna be a jump scare and it is and eventually it's a woman and a baby kind of lunge at him and he screams and he falls into the well and from the bottom we see him crash into the ground, like right next to Scarlet. And it is a very long fall from the top of the well. And he lands like right on his face. And it's just pouring blood. And he is also for sure dead. Scarlet.

Scarlet is scream crying. She is very, very upset. She put him in this situation scarlet you know we've made our thoughts about scarlet's choices clear and this is where we're really feeling pretty mad scarlet um and so he benji is dead. And they have to just keep moving. They leave him there and find their way to the first little tunnel filled with bones. So they have to crawl back through this bone tunnel. And as they're crawling... Oh, well, Benji would have hated doing that again.

That's true. That's true. And as they're crawling. Oh, well, Benji would have hated doing that again. That's true. That's true. So as they're crawling through, George sees kind of he's moving some of the bones and he moves some. And it looks like there's almost a glass like a glass bottom boat situation. And he can see.

Danny, his little brother under underneath him, drowning as if it's water below him screaming like danny is like screaming hitting to save him and he's um screaming down like danny danny danny trying to like dig through and break through the glass and uh scarlet is saying george it's it's not real it's not real it's not real danny's not here. And as she says that, it kind of disappears and it goes back to being bones and rock. And he's super freaked out. And they make it through this tunnel and get out to the other side. And they're back in kind of bigger open tunnels. and they're back in kind of bigger open tunnels and we just hear screaming just screaming all around like instead of echoing phone ringing it's now just echoing screams which is not fun not a good sign and they see a glowing light coming from around one of the corners like a fire it seems it's kind of crackling and then slowly tiptoeing towards it and turn uh the corner and we see a car on fire with a person inside and as papillon approaches we see that it is the man that gave them directions to papillon and he is burning alive and looking at

papillon and papillon says it wasn't my fault it wasn't my fault and starts trying to run away and then by an invisible force is pulled into the car and the car then implodes and disappears. And as it disappears, he gets somehow stuck in the ground. His feet are sticking up through the ground. And they're trying to save him. But it's pretty clear that he is dead and for some reason halfway buried in this rock so do we think that this man died a while ago and he appeared as a ghost to tell them i think so yes okay i think so okay so now it is just scarlet uh george and zed and zed is completely freaking out. Those are his now both of his friends are dead and he's trying to go back. And Scarlett and George are like, said, we can't go back.

Like we have to keep going. The only way out, only way out is through baby. Only way out is through. And so they are continuing down these dark halls and we see a cloaked figure cross the hallway in front of them who is seemingly like smoking. Like he is he it looks really cool. It's very creepy. But the back of him is like wispy smoke. He's like a cloaked smoky guy. Okay. Cloaky smoky smoky smoky smoke. He's like a cloaked smoky guy. Okay. Cloaky smoky guy.

Cloaky smoky guy. And they see him and he looks like very scary and bad. I think this might be Satan himself. Oh. And they find this little hiding spot and they're kind of hiding in there. And George says to Scarlet, whatever happens,

I just need you to know that week in Turkey was the greatest week of my life. She's in prison. I don't know which are, I guess, up until the prison part. And she says, mine too. They hug, they keep walking and sneaking around and turn a little corner. And the cloaked figure is now sitting in this little throne facing away from them. So they're behind this cloaked figure. This little Nas giving him a lap dance.

I was going to say. And then little Nas walks in looking so freaking good and gives him such a sexy little lap dance. And it saves everybody. And they all just live happily forever in hell. Oh, my God. I love this movie. Perfect. Oh, my God.

I'm so obsessed with that Lil Nas music video. It's so good. But no, unfortunately, Lil Nas does not come and give Satan a lap dance. But Satan's just seemingly sitting, chilling, not noticing them. So they're able to sneak right behind him. Does he have like horns? No, I wouldn't have known that he was Satan, but I read in some of the trivia kind of referred to him as Satan. Oh, okay. So they sneak by him and they get to this other little tunnel that has stone faces protruding out of the walls, looking like people, I don't know, frozen in these walls.

And they're hiding here. And then the stone guys come alive and burst out of the walls. And one of them bites George's neck. He's being attacked by a stone monster guy. And they are able to punch the stone guy. And it seems to work. It seems to knock him out. Just fist fighting the stone demon men.

just fist fighting the stone demon men and they drag george uh to another little hiding spot and uh his neck is pouring blood his blood's coming out of his mouth it looks very bad he's choking on blood and they're putting pressure on this wound and uh as scarlet's like don't like you he oh she tries her little philosopher's stone trick again it doesn't work she's like why isn't it working why isn't it working and george says vitriol and she says uh she starts replaying a piece of the riddle again. I don't know what fucking part it is, but she's like, rectify the stone, rectify the stone. This isn't the real stone. This isn't the stone.

I have to go back. I have to go put this one back and then get the real stone. Okay. And she says to Zed, like, stay here here keep pressure on the wood and he's like what fuck what are you doing and she's like i gotta go back i gotta go back and she just starts running back all the way that she just came a stone man pops out i just do not agree with her choices i know a stone man pops out at her she punches it in the face again it's like a fucking video game she's like pooh pooh running down these halls running across that little water part and the water part is now filled with blood and all these hands burst out of it and

start grabbing her she's able to fight them off she kind of falls into it and gets like completely covered head to toe in blood again like the descent and she comes out on the other side and there's a man hanging in a noose and she goes up and pulls oh he has like a little little bag on his head and she's like approaches it pulls the bag off it's her jumps out at her she keeps running uh to the next room and now swims through that underground tunnel part underwater tunnel part and gets back to the room with the treasure and the the mural and puts the stone back into the spot that it was and she's like now the right the real stone should reveal itself and but why did it work before i think maybe because they were in that room who knows who fucking knows okay but maybe it had one to trick one one little power to trick you to

make you ah yes there it is that's probably what it. As she's asking the new stone to reveal itself, she realizes there's a mirror right in front of her. She dusts it off and looks at herself in the mirror. Aha. She's the stone now. Freaking Harry Potter. I know. It's like just Harry Potter.

It says Harry Potter meets Suicide Squad, meets the descent. Fascinating. Oh, she says, as above so below, as I believe the world to be, so it is. And then she is able to run quickly back through because now she can make things

disappear as she believes things are so they are. So she's now got a little bit of control of this world all the little hands in the blood pool disappear and she quickly runs and makes it back to george and zed and puts her hands on george's neck and kisses him and he is healed a A little sleeping beauty, a little magic trick. She's the stone. Said, says, how did you do that? And she says, no time to explain. Come on, come on. We gotta keep moving. her recognize it recognizes him as her dad and she says dad i'm so sorry i didn't answer the call that night i'm so sorry i didn't answer your call i didn't know you were in so much pain and she hugs him and he disappears oh wow okay trauma healing for her that's good

uh so she gets back to zed and George, heals George. They keep running down the rest of this hallway. They're being chased by more little stony guys now. And they make it to one more well. They throw a little rock down it. We see that it's the deepest well yet. And they don't have any climbing gear now.'ve they've lost it all after um benji died and she says we we got to jump we got to jump and zed is like are you kidding me like we'll die

we'll all die it's so deep and she says we have to rectify ourselves and uh that will like she says like oh she goes to george, George, why is Danny haunting you? And he says, because I told him that I would be back for him. I told when he was stuck, I said I was going to get help. So he died waiting for me. And she turns to Zed and is like, Zed, like, what what have you done? And he says, I have a child that I've never seen and I know that it's mine and I deny it and I've never acknowledged it before. And she's like, OK, like we all just need to rectify ourselves and take a leap of faith, take a leap of faith. And we've got to jump into this well.

And so they all hold hands. Oh, my God. And they jump into this well and it looks like the fall just keeps going and going and going and they scream. But then they hit the bottom and none of them die. They've all survived this jump. But now they are in a room with no entrances. It's just a big round rock room. And Zed starts screaming and freaking out like, fuck, fuck, fuck, we're gonna die in here.

But then at the bottom of the room, there's like a manhole cover. And so they're like, okay, can you pry your fingers in there? Pull that out. Um, and they can't. They're like, ah, fuck, it won't budge, it won't budge. And as they're trying to pull it up, they like slip and fall down on it and push it down. And they see like a little bit of light come through. And they're like, what did you just do?

She's like, I pushed it. And so they go one, two, three, push. And they're able to push it down and slide it below. And it looks like nothing, like emptiness down there. Like there's nothing there. And they stick the camera out and turn it around. And we see that it is Paris upside down and that they are coming out of a manhole onto the streets of Paris, like reversed gravity and so they they climb out onto the streets and the camera flips around the other way and the world like turns right side up again and they all get out and they have a little group

hug and then zed just like looks at them looks at them and gives them a nod and walks off that's it just a nod he literally doesn't say anything and then it cuts to a the opening interview clip with Scarlett and

Benji asking her so you just want the truth right and she says yes I just want the truth and right? And she says, yes, I just want the truth. And that's the end of the movie. What the fuck? Wait. Okay. All right.

Wait. Fascinating. I really thought that once Sook-See and Papillon and Zed? Once those two died. How many people died? Only two people died. Three. Three people died. I thought they would all die. Or like just Scarlet would survive or something.

It's interesting that they had like half of them die for no reason. Right. And like what was up with the evil tunnel? What was up with the guy tunnel what was up blue with the guy i guess they were in hell yeah i just i mean they just stumbled on hell yeah i think they were in hell it's it's i mentioned dante's inferno because i think a lot of it is there's oh right there's nine circles of hell limbo lust gluttony greed anger heresy violence fraud and

treachery and i guess there are nine things that they go through so i think it's something it's like that like so the first one being limbo something i read in the in the trivia was that our buddy their buddy buddy guy buddy guy latupe latope was in limbo that he was dead and was not able to leave this place to go to heaven or hell. So he is just stuck here eternally. And that's kind of all I got. And I kind of didn't really care to really figure out all the levels of it. Yeah.

Huh. So you see what I mean? Like, it's not it's not a great movie, but there's some fun stuff in it. There's some cool things in it. Yeah. Huh. So you know what I mean? Like it's not a great movie but there's some fun stuff in it. There's some cool things in it. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't, it wasn't too it wasn't too scary at all

either. No. There's like a good number of jump scares but no other than that not really. I think thean design that guy is pretty spooky smoky smoky clokey he's pretty spooky the poster was really cool the poster is very cool it's a really good poster yeah the poster is really really good wow sammy thank you so much i truly don't even know what to say about this movie.

Like, it's a... I mean, it's not much. That's what I mean. I felt like, okay, well, I'll never think about that again. It's fine. Yeah. Well, okay. Right.

We made it through winter. We made it through March Madness. And the catacombs. And the catacombs. We need to do some more listener requests. Yeah. Yeah. Anything.

Yeah. We got a big long list. We got a big long list. We'll keep. Don't get your hopes up. It might take a couple of years. But we will slowly but surely make our way through all these things. Yes.

And I think we must do a French accent to say goodbye accent I'm very good at it for some reason so well now I'm fucking it up but I feel like it's kind of an easy one for some reason yeah if you just think of beauty in the wrist. Papillon. Papillon. Papillon. Souci. If anyone listening is French, I am so sorry. Je suis désolée.

But that's just what it is. This is what we do. We like to do the accents. This has already been going on for such a long time. So sorry. And we will say au revoir from all of us here at Too Scary Didn't Watch. Oh, that's really good. Say me. Au revoir. Au revoir. Hi, everybody. Thank you so much for listening to another episode of Too Scary, Did It Watch?

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Really, really exciting stuff. So be sure to check that out. And we will be back next week with a regular episode. We will talk to you then. Love you so much. Bye.