Too Scary; Didn't Watch - DOG SOLDIERS with Jon Gabrus
Episode Date: July 13, 2022Six soldiers, a pack of werewolves, and zero silver bullets...we're recapping Neil Marshall's 2005 film Dog Soldiers! This week we are joined by the hilarious Jon Gabrus (High and Mighty, Act...ion Boyz, 101 Places to Party Before You Die) to discuss fun accents, Land Rover product placement, and the delicate art of consuming the correct amount of edibles. TRAILER Recap begins @ 32:25 Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fm Podcast artwork by @EllaTalkinSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Podcast.
This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch.
Hi everyone, welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves.
I'm Emily, and I am too scared to watch scary movies.
I'm Sammy, and I love watching scary movies, and so I watch them, and I tell you about them so that you don't have to watch them.
We're missing our Henley this week, which is scary in and of itself.
It's true.
But other than that, Emily, did anything scary happen to you this week?
Did anything scary happen to me this week?
Well, first, I just want to really quickly say this is not scary.
This is joyous.
This is such a reason to celebrate, which is that we are currently recording on July
3rd, which is, I mean, first, I'll just say it's Silas Hamlin, Henley's child's first
birthday.
Huge happy birthday to him. Happy birthday, Silas. He's one. He's listening. I know you're listening, Silas Hamlin Henley's child's first birthday Huge happy birthday to him
Happy birthday Silas
He's listening
And understanding all of this
And not to be outshone
Sorry Silas I love you honestly obviously more
But today is the 60th birthday
Of America's
National hero Tom Cruise
And
I am so happy.
I didn't realize it was
his 60th. It's his 60th. It's a big
day. This is a big day today. It's a huge day.
He saved the movies this year.
He saved the movies. He brought them back.
He's our hero.
His highest box office ever.
It's incredible. It is
a perfect film.
I have spent so much time on this podcast talking about Tom Cruise.
So it's fine.
I will let it go.
But I just happy birthday, Tom.
I love you.
And the scary thing that happened to me this week.
So recently, Sammy, you've been talking about how mosquitoes are back, which sorry.
Sorry to bring it up for you again.
You know what else is back in the summer?
Oh, no. Cockroaches. OK, cockroaches okay no you know god knock on wood i never i don't really have i've never really had a big
cockroach problem which i i do get them sometimes i know you do and so does henley what is my
landlord call him again water bugs water bugs that's right they're cockroaches they're cockroaches. They're cockroaches. No, but I get... Ew, flies.
Flies.
And let me tell you something.
I, a certain, and I know you'll understand this, Amy, because this happens to you with mosquitoes.
Again, sorry to mention it.
I get so, like, a part of me awakens when there is a fly in my home.
Oh, it's primal.
There's a fly in my home.
Oh, it's primal.
I like fixate in such a way that I'm like nothing else can get done until I get this fucking fly.
Oh, God, I'm familiar.
I'm familiar with the feeling.
They're like big.
They're like getting bigger.
I don't know.
They're big.
And and the buzzing noise.
And you do have four cats in the house, though.
Uh huh. Which is maybe a helpful
thing to kill the flies you know the cats can only get up so high and the true so they're trying they
are actually trying theo has finally he's been like all over the place trying to get after
a fly today which is great but it's just like i like i, I get so mad and I like have to kill, I have to kill them.
And I will like smack the shit out.
Like, it's like, I like revel in the like smashing of life.
I don't like who I become when a mosquito is in my house.
I want the mosquito to suffer as much as I'm suffering.
It becomes not just about killing the mosquito, but about like, I need to like see you explode.
And so this is the first summer
that Joel and I have lived together.
And so he's never seen this firsthand.
He knows about it.
He knows about it.
But this is the first time seeing it.
And we had a fly in our bathroom the other day.
And I get glad when it gets in a room like that
Because I can shut the door
I went and I got a big roll of
Construction paper and I shut myself
In the bathroom with him
And he was in the living room and I was just
I just wouldn't stop until I got it
And I did get it
But
He's just really having to see it
And it's not
Pretty but we're just I's going to I just can't.
I fucking hate flies.
There's like one a day.
I'm killing them.
Where the fuck are they still coming from?
Yeah, I have a little gap in my screen door.
And the screens are always open.
The windows are open because it's hot.
Yeah, I don't know what to do about it.
I need to, like, do some DIY handiwork to yeah they have
little like patches like screen patches at um because it's maddening it's absolutely maddening
yeah and I really feel for you because the mosquitoes are smaller so it's like you even got
like you gotta plug up the tiniest little holes never open your door never let anyone in or out
it's just okay I'm getting like worked i can like feel my blood pressure rising
as i like talk about this um so instead sammy to anything scary happened to you this week
something a little scary did happen to me this week um as you know i've been dabbling back
in edibles we know that i'm not good at knowing what amount to eat. Right. And that sometimes the overthinking of that leads to disastrous consequences.
Yeah.
Which means the past two times that I've done it,
I had 25 milligrams and 2.5 and those are two very different experiences.
So this time I did five and then after a few hours,
I did 10. Oh, you added five. You didn't add 10. I was after a few hours, I did ten.
Oh, you added five.
You didn't add ten.
I was like, okay, I'm feeling okay.
Okay, great.
You waited a few hours.
That's what you're supposed to do.
And that's what I never do because I'm like, well, I'm bored.
I think I waited two and a half hours.
And I was like, this seems like a good amount of time.
I'll have another one.
And it was fine.
It was not as bad as the 25 milligram day
um but uh it was while I was watching this week's movie and it got to the point where I was like a
little too stoned that I couldn't like follow fast cuts anymore like I was just like I'm getting a
little lost here I'm gonna have to watch this tomorrow night so I I turned this off but as I
went to close like getting ready for bed I went to close, like getting ready for bed, I went to close.
I have a back door that looks out onto the parking spaces.
And behind my car, I saw what seemed like a silhouette of an eight foot tall man.
Oh, no.
And it scared me so bad.
Do you remember in the night house how she sees men in the negative space?
It was it was like that. It was like the fence and the wall made what looked like the shape of a shadow, a very tall man.
And I knew logistically it gets way too tall to be a man.
It's like it was so tall. So it's nothing or a monster.
It was either nothing or a monster. And my way of dealing with it was, OK, close the door and I'm going to bed.
Like I was just like, well, and it reminded me of how in horror movies so many times people
just ignore things and you as an audience are angry at them.
Right.
There's obviously a problem here, but that is absolutely what I would do in a horror
movie is just ignore it and go to bed and hope for the
best yeah it's like when i heard someone scream outside my apartment and i was like well i don't
know what to do with that and i always think well if i scream someone will hear me and they'll do
something and like they absolutely won't i didn't so well so it is nothing terrible happens to us
which is kind of the hope, you know, regardless.
So true.
Glad it wasn't a huge man.
That is the scariest thing in the whole world.
You know, maybe it was.
And he left.
We'll never know.
But he thought he thought, well, she went back inside.
What am I supposed to do?
Yeah, I've got bars on my window.
So good luck, man.
Good luck to you.
Good luck, man.
Good luck to you.
But then the next night, I was coherent enough to watch this week's movie.
Oh, right.
Which is Dog Soldiers.
Came out in 2002.
Written and directed by Neil Marshall, who is the writer-director of The Descent.
Oh!
Wow.
My favorite horror movie of all time so uh i've been very excited to talk about this movie it is starring kevin mckidd sean pertwee emma cleasby
and liam cunningham and this was like not streaming for a long time in the u.s i know i remember the
big thing was like you couldn't find it you were were really trying to find this for so long. I couldn't find it fucking anywhere. I bought it on Blu-ray
before you had a Blu-ray player before I had a Blu-ray player. But it's now it's now finally
available to everyone to rent for two ninety nine on Amazon. Thank God. Thank God. And thank God
we have a guest joining us this week to talk about this movie.
He's an actor and comedian, host of fellow HeadGum podcast, High and Mighty.
Welcome to the pod, John Gabrus.
Hi.
Hi.
Thank you so much for having me.
Oh my gosh, thank you for being here.
I couldn't have been a better person to be a guest on this episode,
as I consider myself quite the edibles expert and also or maybe not expert but well
versed in the territory of edibles uh i also uh the descent is one of uh mine and my wife's
favorite horror movies my wife's favorite and one of my favorites and rules and i've been meaning
to see dog soldiers for years but like you said hard to find on streaming so when you guys asked i checked
your list of uh audience recos and stuff i haven't uh seen and i was just like fuck let me see if dog
soldiers is streaming and it is and it's fucking and it's fucking rules it's arguably not scary at
all emily if that makes you feel like it.
I was going to say, Emily could definitely handle it.
It's like got a lot of action in it.
I feel like any action horror.
I can do action horror.
Yeah.
If it's not blood that scares you, if it's like the forebodings, like it's like the dread
and the unsettling.
This movie is paced in an interesting way in that you kind of know what the problem
is at like minute 20, which not a lot of horror movies do.
But I do think it's mostly like assault on Precinct 13 or any like we got to defend this tower kind of movie.
But it's man, it's rad.
Neil Marshall can do a lot with not a lot.
That's like what he's kind of famous for.
Are those his only two?
Like, no, he went into a lot of TV.
He directed some Game of Thrones.
He directed Blackwater, the most famous episode of Game of Thrones, the one where all the
boats catch fire.
Yes, and the other one he directed was also good, too.
I can't remember.
Wow.
Watchers on the Wall was the other one.
Oh, my God.
What a fucking yeah dud yeah he's got like he's got he's got real like real solid skill set in making
not a lot of money go a long way because like not once does dog soldiers look expensive but
not once does it feel like cheap to the degree like right it feels like in a sam raimi kind of
way cheap but it's never goofy
it's so fucking cool i mean it's funny so much is going on in this movie and it's such like a
bros hanging out movie too like uh without you know it's not like misogynistic or toxic masculinity
but it's a lot of like dudes being dudes and busting balls and shit. And when there isn't toxicity like folded into that,
I love that shit.
Like I have no problem with a movie that is doing that.
I absolutely love it.
In fact,
I think when it can separate toxicity,
it's like,
great,
give me more of this.
See,
you don't need to be the fucking assholes in order to be men.
A whole nother layer of it is that they're british too
so you get like the british slang and the british lad lad culture mate culture you know and it's
like that's at least different than like uh the homophobic culture of early 2000s american
masculinity like so it's yeah it's pretty rad to see to see. It also gives it that even more mysterious feel,
even though they are white people speaking with British accents,
it still feels distant and weird.
And like you're hearing a legend or something like that.
There's just even that minor tweak that they are in England or Scotland
in the case of the movie.
Ooh.
It works.
I'm so excited to get into it.
First, just did anything scary happen to you this week?
You mean besides the slow descent to fascism in our country?
The fact that we are actively living in hell.
Anything else?
Besides like the widely understood hellscape that we are currently transitioning to.
Moments of humanity.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Besides that, I saw a bug.
No, I'm just kidding.
I stayed.
I was traveling on the East Coast this like a week or two ago and had a wedding in Cape
Cod where no seeums as they call them which are
like the gnats that you can't see that chew up your ankles bite you those motherfuckers are
brutal so the whole time you're talking about that that's what I was thinking of they're so
bad they're little like sand beach bitey bugs you literally can can't see. And they just destroy you.
And you just all of a sudden, you're just like, oh, my legs itch.
And then you wake up the next morning and you have like a hundred little bumps around your ankle.
Oh, no.
Oh, I hate that very much.
Me too.
And, you know, we didn't used to have mosquitoes in L.A.
I mean, they've gotten out of control.
It's crazy.
I moved here 10 years ago.
And 10 years ago, we had no mosquitoes in Los Angeles. I think they came gotten out of control It's crazy I moved here 10 years ago And 10 years ago we had no mosquitoes in Los Angeles
I remember
They came on a shipment of bamboo
Apparently
Like a shipment of bamboo
Brought a bunch of mosquitoes over here
And then they just
And it got a little damper here
And it's a little grosser here these days
So I think they just breed like fucking animals You know and the legal weed and the uh sort of like that like the bugs aren't
gonna leave for that you know we got perfect weather like the mosquitoes aren't going anywhere
we gotta learn we gotta learn to live with them oh yeah oh so the scary thing that and then
the end of that trip we stayed at my mom's house on Long Island. And I stayed in my childhood bedroom.
And me and my wife were laying in bed.
Now, I had been on a cocktail of mushrooms and German pilsners all day.
But I still stand by.
There was a weird noise.
Sounded like a footsteps or a tapping.
And it's just me, my wife.
My mom is upstairs in this giant fucking house and my
my mom's dog dog wasn't moving my mom wasn't moving i keep hearing like the noise and i just
like roll over and look to see if i see anything and i'm like oh i'm just like bugging out a little
bit it's like the house settling or whatever you know what whatever you tell kids and then
out a little bit it's like the house settling or whatever you know what whatever you tell kids and then tiff my wife is like i hear that too did you just hear that and i'm like what no no no she's
like what the fuck is that and it's like my only like non-scary answer for what it might have been
was stuff in the closet of the room we were staying in settling like falling like oh the sneaker fell
a little and I'm like
I'm doing a lot of work
so Tiffany and I were just
like maybe it is a ghost and we're just like
okay well we're going to sleep like
we now have like the hippie ghost fear
where we're like hey if you are here
we mean no trouble we're just
going to bed and I'm on
mushrooms. Here for the night Do what you gotta do.
If you're gonna like sexually assault us,
do both of us, please.
Yeah, don't leave one of the other ones jealous.
Can it be a blowjob ghost, please?
Like Ghostbusters.
Can something thrilling happen from this?
Gotta hope for the best.
Yeah, it's interesting that your first year of thought is like,
okay,
be a ghost in that closet.
I'm thinking,
does someone live in that closet in a big house that that room is
unoccupied?
And they were like,
Oh shit,
somebody's here tonight.
And they hid in the closet.
It's like the children beneath the stairs kind of shit.
Oh yeah.
Uh,
yeah.
I mean,
it's probably also a little bit of like male privilege to be like oh
it's probably a ghost meanwhile my wife's like it's a rapist breaking into the house it's a human
it's a human here to do harm to me because i am a woman and i'm like oh oh yeah i didn't even think
of that i'm like it's probably a ghost babe oh boy well you made it out whatever it was i hope
you know if it's a ghost
Respect them
If it's a human
Hopefully they're still with me
Yeah maybe they
Attach themselves to me
And will slowly
Make me go insane
Over the course of time
Hey
Who can tell
Keep us posted
Yeah
Tricks on them
I'm quickly going insane
And it's already been happening
Since before the possession
Things are already bad
Do your worst
I'm already spiraling
Good luck ghosts
Yeah good luck to you I've attached myself to you You're the one Things are already bad. Do your worst. I'm already spiraling. Good luck, ghosts.
Yeah, good luck to you.
I've attached myself to you.
You're the one who's going to get fucked over by this.
What is your relationship to scary movies in general?
Sounds like you, I mean, you've seen The Descent, which means you can handle some fucking scary movies.
Yeah, I'm not scared of any movies because I have like my I have like a dangerously logical brain where I'm like, it's a movie.
I'm constantly fighting that because I want to be scared.
Like when I see a scary movie, I want to be.
And then I always liked horror movies.
And when I was a real young, they scared me.
And then when I was in like my late teens through my mid-20s they didn't really do anything for me and i was like nah uh horror movies are whack or whatever but then
i got back into like i got really into movies overall in general like realized they were a
passion of mine and like felt like found some top shelf horror movies that i really enjoyed then i got into weed in my mid
20s 2.5 milligrams to start uh i'm well aware of the the sammy conundrum the sammy 2.5 or 25
which one is the right way what's the normal you just put the decimal point wherever you want
after 250 milligrams let Let's ride.
Oh, my God.
I would have died.
Yeah.
No, you would have been.
You would have slept for 18 hours.
You would have thought you were dying for a huge chunk.
Because I did.
Yes, that's true.
I did.
You looked it up.
Can you die?
And you can't.
No, you can't.
I wouldn't if you're right.
No, you can't.
You would have to like you could only die like if you drop the lit joint into gasoline
soaked pants or something like that.
Like weed cannot kill you without like actively pursuing death.
I guess maybe someone could prove us wrong by being like, oh, yeah.
Right. Because you can die from like drinking too much water.
Probably just if you like we're really trying to push it.
You probably could.
But it'd be tough.
But getting back into getting i guess it's
technically back in the weed since i was smoking weed in junior high and shit uh getting back in
the weed in my 20s made horror movies a little scarier made haunted houses a little scarier
made scary yeah movies or scary things a little scarier just like it makes funny movies a little
funnier turns off that logical brain a little bit something for that or i get a little extra focused or i have a little bit of
the light paranoia that comes with getting stoned i don't know exactly what it is but weed which
you know ramps up my enjoyment of all movies like adds a layer to horror movies kind of lets you get
tunnel visioned in there and lets you overthink it a little bit and lets you get scared and then as i got older and more into movies the
uh share the shared experience of a horror movie in the theater is like something that is
uh you know it's just below uh or just above a shared uh comedy movie a shared hilarious movie
in a giant theater something about being in a
large group of people with the exact same emotions at the same time that kind of is again i just
sound like the 40 year old hippie that i've become but like there's something magical about a bunch
of strangers all feeling the same raw emotion of either elation or fear at the same time like
that's yeah that's a wild experience uh and like everyone cringing
at this everyone knowing something and like we all know this the scaffolding of movies now so
you know when the like you can feel like oh they're building us up for a jump scare and that
doesn't help you uh manage it anymore or any less you're just still like here it comes and everyone's
just like uh and you hear like the the sort easier, more scaredy cats versus the less scaredy cats.
You hear like the spectrum of like,
you know,
here when they start getting a little nervous,
you hear when they take a deep breath.
When people hit their thresholds,
like as it moves through the audience.
Yeah.
Like,
not a horror movie,
but I saw Crimes of the Future,
the David Cronenberg movie in the theater.
And it was actually kind of a crowded theater,
shout out LA,
where people go see Cronenberg on opening day.
But at one point, a dude just goes, what the fuck?
Oh, no, it was seeing the movie Men with Tiffany.
My wife.
Happened in both movies.
And if you've seen both, you'll know why.
Yeah, we've talked about both. We've discussed them, yeah.
Yeah, Men was just like, someone was like, what the fuck?
At like that volume right behind us
and the entire crowd started laughing we were all like yes that is the right attitude yeah
it's an appropriate reaction for that for that film for sure yeah i mean that that whole movie
is just like oh okay yeah cool holy shit, cool. Holy shit. I do not.
I do not know what's going on.
Really ramps up in that third act.
Just when you're like, oh yeah, I get it.
It's sort of like, oh, nope.
Nevermind.
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't get it.
Don't know what he's going for at all.
This is insane.
Okay.
I have some stats and trivia about Dog Soldiers for us.
Great.
It has an 80% on Rotten Tomatoes,
6.8 on IMDb.
The budget was 2.3 million pounds.
Oh, fancy.
Jesus.
And it made 5 million pounds.
So, you know, not terrible.
It didn't get a theater release in the U.S.
It got released on the SyFy channel.
So Neil Marshall was not thrilled about that, but still making five million pounds,
which is without a U.S. theater release.
What's the exchange rate in 2002?
It's more than five million dollars.
Yeah, you got to throw inflation and conversion and currency on that
yeah that's a lot i'm short circuiting i'm sure i can't do it i can't do it but a lot of money
uh neil marshall chose to use dancers as the werewolves instead of typical stuntmen in order
to highlight in order to highlight their grace and elegant movements. And the set was also designed size-wise to force the creatures to have to bend upon entering,
thereby highlighting their statuesque physiques.
There are a few shots where they're, like, crawling in windows that look genuinely fucking freaky.
They're big.
It's really kind of spooky in the way that, like, Cats, the musical, is spooky.
Like, the strange movement and shit.
You're like, this is wrong and I can't pinpoint why, but it feels bad to see.
Five million pounds comes out to a little bit over six million pounds.
Six million pounds in 2003 is the equivalent to $9.5 million.
Nice.
Yeah.
Sorry, I'm a math nerd and once equations are thrown around i gotta i gotta get in very
impressed we notoriously never check a single stat we don't we just throw things out about all
that math and no one's gonna ever check that so we're gucci true we never would we absolutely
never would never will um simon pegg was offered a part in this film, but turned it down after Edgar Wright asked him to save his first horror role for Shaun of the Dead in 2004.
Whoa.
It's interesting to ask an actor to save your first horror role.
I think because they wrote it.
They wrote Shaun of the Dead together.
Yeah.
Simon, I think Nick Frost even wrote on it, too.
I don't remember.
But yeah, I think it was like their collaboration.
So Edgar was probably like, no, not yet.
Please, please.
Right.
Right.
Save it.
Clearly, Simon Pegg had a little bit of a career before this or at least auditioned
on Face and whatnot.
Yeah, exactly.
And that was with Edgar, too.
So I feel like he was I mean, that's a bold thing to ask a friend, but it looked like
that gamble worked out well.
Seems like they made the right call.
I'm not mad about it.
Sure, I would have liked to see him in this movie, but he's, you know, obviously.
He's doing great.
Shaun of the Dead is iconic, so can't go wrong.
Kevin McKidd, who plays the protagonist Cooper in this film, cracked a rib in the first few days of shooting, but hid it from Neil Marshall
for fear of being replaced and eventually decided the pain was too much to bear and revealed the
injury, at which point Marshall did indeed fire him and replaced him with Jason Statham.
But then Jason Statham had to back out due to scheduling conflicts with ghosts of ghosts of Mars.
And McKidd was rehired after his injury healed up.
Great.
Stressful, stressful order of events there for Kevin McKidd.
But are you guys are you guys Grey's Anatomy fans?
I was at a time.
Certainly it's been on for 1000 years.
So I haven't stayed.
Yeah.
Stayed true to it.
I left before Dr. Owen Hurt.
Like I he was like right at the tail end of my enjoyment
of Grey's. He came in. Is that this guy?
That's Kevin McKidd would go on to do
several hundred more episodes of Grey's.
And make all the money in the world, probably.
That's what I was thinking about. These actors
that are in these
TV shows that just run forever. It
made me a little sad that we don't have more
Kevin McKidd movies. I'd like to see him in more stuff i like him you're stumbling upon something that
i've been talking about a lot lately in hollywood is like i would like to like seeing liam hemsworth
in the movie spider head or seeing him in black hat where he's not thor you're like oh this dude's
a pretty solid fucking actor he's objectively handsome and uh fun to look at
but he's also a very good actor but he's been playing thor we've been like eating up his like
prime acting years as thor downey jr like came back hard and then got did iron man in like 21
movies sam jackson has been nick and like it just eats these people's times up like uh like Scar Jo uh Olsen like these
are all great Cumberbatch these are all great actors who are forced to like live in a compound
in Atlanta and make like hundreds of movies for us or in the case of like some of these golden
handcuffed tv shows like uh everyone who's a cast member of Grey's is working 10 months out of the
year making millions and millions of dollars they're not going to take their two months to not go to San Tropez for whatever you know
right right yeah but yeah it bummed me out I was like Kevin McKidd is great feels like we're over
doing an overall disservice to the ecosystem of cinema by trapping people in these but because
in this country if you don't have, you could just easily die or be unhappy
like or lose your house or something.
So even Kevin McKidd's like, I got to do 300 episodes of Owen Hurt.
Yeah.
He directed like 30 episodes of Grace.
You know, like that's where the money starts getting real crazy.
It gets to a point where they're like, well, this show is just exclusively made by us for
us for for the rest of time.
Yeah.
It becomes like a huge like ponzi
scheme where it's like the network needs to keep making it so it's on the books so that this money
goes there and that money goes there and meredith makes this much you know like it's so fucking
dumb she's like the highest paid actor of all time right now right alan pompeo yeah and she wasn't
and she was like underpaid for a very long time considering the name of the hospital and the longest running show is about her and she's the one constant the
entire time yeah man oh man damn i saw her at a fuck cafe once oh yeah yep name the cafe name it
it's called fuck Cafe. Oh, okay, great.
So.
I saw her at Fuck Cafe once is what I heard. I was like, I thought that was like some young hip dance party or something.
You guys were like, oh, it's like, oh, it's a cafe.
It's for Gen Z LGBTQ kids to get together and just dance.
I was like, oh, I gotta hear more about this Fuck Cafe.
Okay, let's watch this trailer oh my god get into this movie oh my gosh i'm excited one of the most explosive brutal and purely enjoyable horror debuts since the evil dead
genuinely frightening Genuinely frightening.
Jaws, Aliens and Predator with a werewolf twist.
A bitch of a werewolf movie. Playtime!
Dog Soldiers. It'll blow your house down. a werewolf movie. Playtime! Dog soldiers.
It'll blow your
house down.
Okay, I can see the reference
to Evil Dead in terms of
the look of it a little bit.
Yeah, and they're at kind of a remote
place in the woods, and yeah.
Yeah, and also Aliens,
I guess it's one of my favorite movies of all time and i
didn't put together that it has that exact vibe like uh-huh and it has like the predator like a
group of elite soldiers out in nature and something is hunting them yeah so i was destined to like
this movie it's comprised of like we've it's been referenced references like four movies that i like
oh my gosh there are a lot of references in it.
It's so clearly his first movie because he's a movie fan, obviously.
And there's so, there is no spoon.
And it's 2000, the movie came out in the early 2000s.
So the references are like, yeah, like we kind of know them.
If you know, it's like, they're not like super archaic, like movies that you're like,
oh, I don't even know what he's referencing here.
I was sort of getting Attack the Block vibes a little bit, too.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That's like pretty much the same premise as a predator and all those.
Like it all is that like, oh, wait, bad, a mythical evil thing in a place where it's not supposed to be.
And we are uniquely equipped to try to stop it.
One thing I thought watching this trailer was the rip I watched on Amazon, it was the color quality
and the lighting quality was way, whatever they call that, the transfer was way worse than whatever
that trailer looked like. That made me want to buy the Blu-ray. The movie looks so much more light.
I must have watched the same version you watched too. Cause yeah, it has like a 4k transfer that there's a trailer for that too. That I was like, damn,
this looks way better than what I watched. I didn't watch your Blu-ray. I don't have the remote.
I couldn't press play on it. I didn't watch the Blu-ray. I had to rent it. Blu-ray, a Blu-ray
player that you also need a remote for is fundamentally broken. I was going to say, there's no freaking buttons on the thing.
Why isn't there buttons on the player?
Dude, my television, you can't shut off by just pushing power.
Ours either.
It was so stupid.
We had the other day and we were like, how the fuck do we turn this off?
The remote wasn't working.
We're like, there's nothing to do.
We could only do it with the remote.
And if you lose the remote or when you're going to sleep,'s very easy to just like walk past the tv and push power instead you're like
looking through the cushions for the remote before bed to just shut it off nightmare so
it is funny too i guess dog soldiers is a little funny it's funny in that like
i laughed humor way yeah i laughed at a few points too. Yeah.
In the past few years,
I have hit a point where I only want to be wearing clothes that are comfortable.
It happened.
It happened to me.
But you know what?
I still also want to look cute.
And these are two desires that are often extremely opposing.
And I don't want to have to sacrifice.
I want both.
I want comfort.
And I want to feel cute and confident.
And guess what?
Skims has freaking done it again with their soft lounge collection. I am currently very,
very obsessed with, I have the soft lounge tank and boxer set. Okay. This tank, it's a great
little rib tank. Classic. You can wear it every day. You can pair it with jeans. You can wear it
out in the world, or you can wear it with this little boxer short that is so comfortable. It is super, super soft, lightweight
rib. They're great. I also truly have been for years stealing Joel's boxer briefs to wear as
sleepwear and loungewear. And guess what? That ain't cutting it. I'm not feeling too cute in
those. I'm not feeling too comfortable. But desperate times. However, desperate times know more because Skims has done it.
You too can get on board with this.
You can see just how cute and comfortable you can be.
Shop the Skims Soft Lounge Collection at Skims.com.
Now available in sizes extra, extra small through 4X.
And if you haven't yet, be sure to let them know that we sent you.
After you place your order, select podcast in the survey
and select too scary, didn't watch in the drop down menu that follows.
If you're a new parent, a bad day means you either ran out of coffee,
diapers, patience, or all of the above.
Stocking up on cold brew and deep breaths are all you,
but at least Hello Bello's got your baby's butt covered.
Hello Bello believes all families deserve premium, affordable baby products. With their
ultra-convenient diaper bundle subscription service that includes seven packs of diapers
and four packs of plant-based wipes, you'll never run out of supplies ever again. Better yet,
they're delivered to your door. Set, change, and cancel your delivery schedule whenever you want.
And these designs are so cute, you guys.
I did not think it would be possible to be jealous of a diaper.
Named Best Diaper Subscription by New York Magazine and winner of the 2022 Good Housekeeping
Parenting Award, Hello Bello will keep you well-stocked on diapers and wipes.
Go to hellobello.com slash too scary to get 30% off your first customized bundle and a
full-size freebie product of your choice.
30% off your first customized bundle and a full size freebie product of your choice.
That's HelloBello.com slash TooScary to start bundling with 30% off your first order.
Don't forget, that's HelloBello.com slash TooScary.
All right, shall we get into recapping it?
Oh man, I'm excited.
Let's do it.
Yeah, it's funny because like even recapping it, I can't imagine a point in which you would be scared you know what i mean emily like because it's like there's not even a lot of spooky like
an articulatable spookiness to it like yeah it's pretty straightforward yeah i'm fairly certain
i'll go watch this like soon joel loves this movie and it was i'm sure he'll want to watch it
uh and we we have the blu-ray so sure he'll want to watch it. And we,
we have the Blu-ray.
So,
you know,
people want to see the Blu-ray.
We've got it.
Do you have a remote though?
Is the question.
We don't.
Well,
we,
it's a PlayStation,
so you don't need a remote,
but you do need the,
the controller,
the controller,
which is basically a remote.
So it's a,
yeah,
it's exactly that.
Just more,
maybe more buttons.
So we get like the little preamble where cooper meets the special cooper is denied the special forces because he won't
kill a dog before even that we see it's in scotland and there's a couple camping and it's
like a very obvious little like placement of a potential weapon they're in a tent it's like oh the letter opener
that's pure silver hun it's like oh thank you you better like it it's pure silver who doesn't camp
without their letter it was a gift because he's like a newly a writer or something like that
and she keeps and they say pure silver enough times that you're like this is checkoff's letter opener this is gonna come
back into play later yeah and i thought this might be the longest distance between a setup
and a usage of like a deus ex weapon uh kind of situation because this is moment one of the movie
and the letter opener comes back at like moment like at the exact very last yeah oh cool yep so these campers like they get
dragged out by some sort of beast or some sort of murderer we don't really hear or know what we see
they like pulls the woman so hard the the boyfriend or whatever is like holding her hands trying to
hold her into the tent and it pulls her so hard that her arms rip in half i think or like rip off of her body yeah it's pretty awesome there's a lot of like uh huge gaping wounds and guts hanging out
in this movie that are kind of fun we get to some guts uh so then it goes to cooper who's kevin
mckidd dr owen hurt he's our lead uh And he's at the end of a special forces trial where he classic fake out.
He's like running through the woods, murking people, whipping flashlights at dudes.
And why is this movie coming back to me?
So crystal clear.
I didn't take notes.
It's just coming back to me.
So crystal clear.
And again, it's because the movie is mega simple.
Right. It's super straightforward.
It follows a logical
order. So he, what's
the main, the other baddie's name?
Owen or whatever? It's
Ryan. Captain Ryan. That's
Liam Cunningham. He was in
Game of Thrones. Davos.
So they got to work together again, Neil Marshall
and... Oh, Davos!
Lord Davos the onion knight the
smuggler turned uh king's hand uh he's in this and you you think he's gonna he's gonna come back
in an interesting way arguably interesting but the main takeaway from this scene is in order to
be in the special forces which is like in a an extra elite uh you know i guess it's sas if they're british uh
he has to kill a dog according to this guy ryan and he refuses that he goes he goes well on a
mission you might have to do it and he goes like yeah well i'm i would i'm not against killing a
dog i'm against killing this dog for no reason and it's really a like and then uh ryan captain ryan shoots the dog and kills it so this is a training exercise where they're really like and then Ryan, Captain Ryan shoots the dog and kills it.
So this is a training exercise where they're just like, and now kill this dog that's here for your training purposes.
Yeah, it doesn't make a lot of sense, except if you know that dogs and wolves will be a huge part of the rest of the movie.
Any other movie, this scene is very dumb.
any other movie this scene is very dumb and this scene is just in this movie is just pretty dumb because we're definitely setting up some sort of love hate of dogs and wolves in general and like
the irony is what ryan will eventually become as well and like uh cooper will have to kill the dog
for the sake of the mission so he doesn't get it right and then uh we see him that is the next
thing sammy like the other the new mission that starts that kicks off like the full movie it's
six soldiers being dropped into the scottish highlands it's like a month later for a training
exercise and cooper is one of those guys and ryan is not it's like cooper and five other people including sarge spoon terry and like you know like
just arbitrary fucking you know random and this is where there's so many reasons why diversity
is important but on like the dumbest reason is if you have six white guys and they're all in
military uniforms it's so hard it's so hard to tell them apart. It's so hard to tell them apart.
They all have shaved heads too.
So it's just like,
it's almost impossible to tell them apart.
I really struggled.
I had that with,
we just did Predator,
which I've seen a bunch of times and I love,
and like all the white dudes who aren't Schwarzenegger,
I have in my notes,
all their names are messed up the whole time.
And I have to go back and be like,
wait, no, this one.
Cause it's like,
yeah, the guys.
Predator has two black guys and a giant i think native american is what billy goes is claimed to be or something like that yes that movie has like visual freaks too
which i think helps it's like which one's arnold the one who doesn't look like a person
which one is mac oh that's clay man yeah the black old dude who shaves with the dry shaves with a razor.
You know, like there are those.
Yeah.
This movie just is like, he's the loud one.
He's the other loud one.
Yeah.
But they're all they're all kind of cheeky, busting each other's balls.
They're not excited about this mission.
There's a big footy match on.
They're sort of just like basic ass dudes.
And the thing is they gotta like invade
this area for this war game uh and there's like patrols they gotta not get caught and
it really doesn't make a lot of sense and then the plan that ryan is like there's a separate
thing happening on top of this which we'll get to which doesn't make a lot of sense like it seems hyper specific
where he's like i needed you guys to draw out the werewolves so we could finally kill them
allegedly but i don't even know if that's what ryan's plans were so they're there under false
pretenses a little bit they don't know it yet yeah okay this is already when i had to turn it
off because i was a little too stoned to be fair, it is like if you're stoned and they land with those big fake guns and shit
like that, they have like the weird blanks and stuff like that.
But you're right.
Cause I was like hyper focusing on things too hard that then I couldn't like follow
the next thing.
Cause I'd be like thinking about the one thing for a little too long.
And then I'm like, fuck, I missed all the next stuff.
And I was like, all right, this isn't happening tonight.
That's when you know you're too high when you're like oh my god the movie moved on without me you're like yeah that's exactly what was plugged into time code 621 the movie's at 740
at this point you're like fuck oh she could be the scientist and i go like movie is just and
the best is when you're high and you are misinterpreting something and diving in deep.
And then you're watching it with someone else.
And I'll be like, that makes total sense because she's the dolphin from the cold open.
And my wife will be like, what?
And I'll be like, oh, I'm seeing a connection that's not there.
And then adding to it.
Oh, I made a different movie happen.
I'm making a different movie now.
Oh, that's not happening in this movie.
Okay, cool, cool, cool cool but i like it okay so they've been dropped in scotland for what they think is a
training exercise but maybe it's something else yeah and their guns they have like no they're
fake guns they don't have real bullets yeah okay they have to like invade uh invade something uh cooper who's kind of like very knowledgeable
he was almost special forces as we know uh but he's got a moral reason why he won't be there not
not a skill reason so he notices that there's patrols going this way and this way and they
can shoot through the patrols at a specific point and later on we'll hear i just might as well say
it at this point that ryan who's uh part of the special
forces that are hunting the werewolves or dealing with the werewolves in some capacity or working
with the werewolves or want to harness the werewolves or are the original creators of the
werewolves that's all confusing to me in the movie but he's unbeknownst to them setting them up to
take this very specific path to bring them in the in within the range of the right using them as like bait basically yeah but unfortunately for
ryan and his crew they get attacked by we don't see it that i think neil marshall does a great
job in this movie of slowly letting us see uh the you get such quick little flashes at first
yeah it's like their little silhouette running by we also get a black and white pov with growling
so we can see we can see because it gives us their night quote-unquote night vision which
is another important part of the movie as it goes on you're like oh yeah night vision of course
they're better at night yeah we should stay inside
i mean that's just such simple movie making too like the fear of night and then you're like
like at a disadvantage i saw blair witch in the theater and like i i remember you know i was also
young so you know 17 or 16 or
something like that and i just remember being like every time it was morning in the movie being like
fuck yes and then like when i left the theater and it was still light out outside like i saw
it on like a weekend afternoon i was like a sigh of true relief of like, oh, thank fucking God.
I could not handle nighttime right now.
So scariest time.
And then we get our like team of six.
The team of six stumble upon the wounded or the the dead uh and there's gear they have like non
they have live ammo and weapons and shit and then out of like the fucking debris pops uh captain
ryan and he's got a huge cartoon three-pronged slash across his chest he's got like a he's got
like a very art directed claw on his chest and you're
like this dude has been through it what the fuck he's he's crazy and he's not really talking about
what's going on but they roll him into their crew and they and they know something's up they don't
know it's werewolf yeah he he mumbles to himself there was only supposed to be one there was only
supposed to be one right clearly clearly the pack to be one. Right. Clearly, clearly the pack is growing.
And that's ironic, too, based on what happens to Ryan over the course of the movie.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Then the like comms are not working.
They're they're freaking they're like getting the real guns.
Now they realize now that it's something is up and this isn't the test anymore.
Yeah. They're like ditch all their dumb blanks gather up real guns and their plan is to just get the fuck to the objective or get
out of here they end up getting in another scuffle with some uh with the dog soldiers with the wolves
and they run and get into a car or this this movie features some dope land rovers
it's true they're there and they like call them out by name a lot they're like the land rovers
in the shed yeah we have the back they have a backup land this movie features a backup land
rover i love in anything when you when a brand is mentioned movie or show like we joel and i've
been watching old seasons of Top Chef recently and every
season they're like sponsored by a different Toyota car.
And so they'll be like,
all right guys,
let's get in the Highlanders.
And I just think it's so like nobody ever does that,
but it's so funny to me.
Packed up the Highlanders and we took off.
These Range Rovers are cool.
They're like the old school ones that are like slightly extended for more seats.
Yeah.
Before the Land Rover though,
there's like a scene where they hear something coming
and they like grab Ryan and they're running.
And yeah, I don't think they have like a super clear plan.
They're just trying to get away.
And they are in this wooded area.
And one of the men runs straight into a tree branch that impales him.
Oh, right.
This fight first.
Yes.
That's awesome.
Because you think he's getting speared by the wolf or something like that.
And then they pull out the reveal.
In his panic, he just ran directly into a tree branch
and that's a great old school hollywood scary effect where you tape the tip of a branch to
his back have him lean up against this and just have blood everywhere and it really works and
like you know he's like alive for one more second during that and then another one of his buddies shows up to help and this is uh we
get some we get some good guts here our first visible guts he gets his stomach like slit open
by the wolf claw and he falls down and he has like the visible guts spilling out like intestines
like the sausage links yes it's it's a lot and he's like he's the sergeant sergeant wells and he tells
cooper like leave just go without me and cooper's like no no i can't leave you behind and it's
really he that this interaction is one of those kind of funny moments where he's like my guts are
spilling out he's like well put them back in he goes they don't fit he's like they have to and he starts shoving them back
he starts shoving his guts like into his stomach and like yeah yeah it's awesome and it looks it
it sounds so terrifying and gross but it does look a little kid showy in a good way like it like it
does look a little comical so it's it's not fully horrifying and it feels like they
know that when he goes when he says they don't fit and then uh he's like they have to i forgot
about this moment this is a really and that establishes that knocks him down to five and
makes the sarge kind of uh a victim for the whole the whole thing but uh so then they get into the land rover with the
veterinarian or zoologist whatever yeah megan oh that's fun yep she just comes out of nowhere and
they're like well great we'll get in this car was she giving you scottish melanie linsky vibes at
all by any chance i could see that for sure she was giving me that in that she was like. I liked her. Yeah. I liked her.
I liked her a lot.
Yeah, she was great.
She's such an interesting layer to this movie because she's not a damsel in distress.
She's not the sort of magical female scientist character that saves everyone.
She's sort of like a complicated character who only gets more complicated as the movie
goes on.
It's kind of rad.
But we get
this dope ass action sequence inside the range rover where land rover where the wolf arm is
down through the center of the ceiling uh the roof and they're all kind of sitting around it
like stabbing it like try like they're all like let's stab it but cut it's fucking you know and
they're all trying to do stuff to it it's like kind of he's like drive drive drive you know it's
like that classic situation.
It's all like hectic and crazy.
I think there's a shot in there
where Cooper is like squeezing hand sanitizer
on his open guts.
They're like trying to do their triage,
like, fuck, like we gotta get him.
Something cool with the wolf arm,
they put the knife like in the forearm and like pull it down through the wolf arm.
And it's not enough to stop the wolf, but it is enough.
Like it is.
It's something that looks very cool and visceral.
And you would think would be like this ought to end the wolf.
And that's just still like fucking rocking it and shit like that.
And Ryan has said something earlier, like as they're loading up with a bunch of ammo he's
he says like it doesn't matter it's not you're not it's not gonna they're not gonna die yeah
this won't kill it and they have and they have a shit ton of weapons yeah they've got a lot and
ryan is like nope it's not gonna work yeah so then this random woman has rescued five six soldiers
now and she's like, I know a house
that these neighbors live around here.
We should be able to hide out there.
They should be able to give us,
you know, lodging for the night.
Supplies or whatever.
They're like trying to,
they need to get this man
either stitched up or something
before they can get him to the hospital.
They're like, we need to do like some temporary.
Yeah, we need to get him squared away. and then we get him in the car that we drive
because the hospital is according to the zoologist four hours uh it's three hour drive in any
direction before you even hit civilization yeah deep they're deep and excuse me they're deep in
the highlands okay and this house is dope this house is so it's decorated so well there's a dog
there which of course comes into major play uh never
the dog has some fun moments um involving guts later but for now they still don't know what
they're up against but they're everyone is hinting at
inside the logic of the movie people are hinting at what's going on like ryan's hinting at it even
the woman is like i came here to study them or whatever and we're learning more and more that
she came here to study the phenomenon these animal of whatever this is that's made campers go missing
and uh solo hikers
disappear.
There's been like legends.
And she's like,
I came to investigate the legend and I found evidence.
But the family that lives in this place is not there.
Nowhere to nowhere to be found.
So they go and they basically just like check it,
make sure it's clear.
And then basically use it as their base camp for now.
Yeah.
They don't check the basement,
which I think could end up being a problem.
Wink wink.
Basement is always a problem.
It is always a problem.
Yeah.
It's Chekhov's basement.
You don't even know about it till the end of the movie.
And it's like,
and guess what?
There's bodies and a silver letter opener down here.
Surprise basement.
I hate to see it.
Um,
but so they like realize that,
or Cooper is basically saying Sergeant Wells isn't going to make it.
We need to get him to the hospital and they decide they're going to try to
drive.
Cause he's going to die if they don't,
but him and one of the indistinguishable
other soldiers go outside to check the car and it has been basically ripped to shreds by the wolves.
Like the engine has been pulled out. It looks really cool. The hood is like ripped open like
a human chest cavity and the engine is gone. They didn't hear that or see that uh you know these
professional soldiers who are setting up a base missed all that but that being said can't leave
now they're stuck in the house and this is funny because we're we're going kind of beat by beat
on the story here but at this point the like if you had to like write the outline of this movie
you would be here you would go 45 to 55 minutes of defending the house for Will.
Yes.
It's like basically all that for a while.
Just like little battle, a little reprieve, little battle, little reprieve.
Yeah.
And they do a good job of keeping it dynamic that you don't get bored.
But it is in this one location and constantly like firing rounds at a window and then you know
the wolf being gone like it's a lot of it's a lot of uh repetitive action but it does
lull you into a sense of like what is going to happen for these people uh do we know do we have
a sense of how many wolves there are or like how much have we seen of them? Definitely more than one. Have we seen a full form yet?
Okay.
There's definitely more than one.
She later on says
they're hunting in packs.
There's an alpha and a beta
and a sidekick.
So she's like doing the math
on how many of them there are.
And for the eagle-eyed viewers
or second-time viewers
or by the end of the movie,
we know that there's definitely three
uh because we saw that it's the entire family spoiler uh and there's a fourth werewolf and
we won't get to that spoiler just yet okay i mean there's literally no point because the whole movie
is downhill in a good way from here you know what i mean like it's just like defend the house hopefully survive let's learn more about werewolves
and it's just like one guy becomes like super gung-ho there's a fun there's a fun uh sam ramey
beat where they're running low on bullets and they find like an axe make some boiling water
find a sword find like that sword really made me laugh they like open
a little chest and there's just a fucking huge sword in there and just like yeah and he's like
this could be true or but i'm like oh but that's because they're in scotland i don't know probably
people have swords in their house the scottish the scottish islands makes me think of braveheart
which makes me think of swords i'm not i'm not here to say uh i have a sword in my house the scottish the scottish islands makes me think of braveheart which makes me think i'm not i'm not here to say uh i have a sword in my house yeah not in my i don't i wish i had a
chest i do have a sword but i need a chest uh you gotta get a chest for that sword even one guy
pulls out like the electric carving knife out of the drawer like they're like doing a lot of like
that rambo montage of like what are we suiting. But we get a lot of cool gun shit too.
There's a lot of like spraying bullets at werewolves,
werewolves getting hit with shotguns and stuff,
but no long-term damage.
A lot of like,
maybe Sammy,
what were some highlights of the combat?
I liked when the werewolf climbed the rope outside that was taught,
like this is towards the end during,
when they're going to try to get the other truck. I like the werewolf climbing the rope outside that was taught like this is towards the end during when they're going to try to get the other truck i like the werewolf climbing the rope i like learning that the
flashes of lights fuck uh like a camera flash fucks yes megan is using megan is using a camera
flash as as a weapon that makes sense as a weapon that is because not lethal not lethal well we
learn nothing is lethal that's true but they do feel
pain at least because they when they get shot they run away they don't like it but it doesn't
kill it it's like it doesn't kill the turret they heal in one of these earlier fights okay
so one of the werewolves grabs one of the guys i think his name is terry and cooper comes in to save him and i think uses the sword or a knife to cut off
the werewolf's whole arm he cuts off the whole arm does it grow back i maybe it does but later
like because we never see a one-armed werewolf later but he does cut and it's like like and
that's a classic horror movie trope it's like we can't make a realistic looking werewolf body it's like, and that's a classic horror movie trope. It's like, we can't make a realistic looking werewolf body.
It's like, I got one arm.
We just, the hero arm gets cut off.
We shoot it in a closeup and it looks dope.
Yeah.
And there's a line that someone says where he says,
dogs more like pussies.
Yeah.
And then immediately gets killed by a werewolf.
Yeah.
It's pretty good.
How many have we lost at this?
I mean, like,
is it just sort of whittled down to...
I think Terry goes first
and they're kind of spread out
among the house.
It looked like a big house
from the trailer.
It's two story
and Cooper and Megan
go upstairs with...
Sarge.
Who's in bed.
The sergeant, yeah,
to lay him in the bed to do...
Yes, they're doing...
They get some super glue and
they're gonna perform some real they're gonna close them up uh and this is kind of fun this
sequence good good memory here sammy because they get the sarge drunk so they can do the surgery and
he is like unruly he's like you have to knock me out and so uh cooper just punches him in the face twice
and knocks him out it's like that is very funny like they're like that is why they get him wasted
and some trivia is that that actor got drunk for real oh my god and that kevin mckidd on the second
punch accidentally did punch him for real and he said said that he didn't feel it because he was so drunk.
Oh my God.
So that seems somewhat real.
There's a moment where they're trying to stop the door.
The werewolves coming in through the door and they're all trying to stop the
door.
This is a little earlier and there is a dog in the house and the dog is
pulling at the guts of Sarge.
Like, chew it.
And in the trivia, it says the original line called, original scene called for the dog to be in the guts.
They thought it was too gross.
So they let, they switch it to the bandage.
But in the cut, the bandage doesn't, it doesn't look like the dog has a bandage in its mouth
it looks like it's stretching his intestines soaked in blood so it just looks yeah but again
it's like pretty funny and then we see ryan is contemplating killing the dog in that moment of
course he loves to kill dogs yeah that's like the one thing cooper knows about him cooper knows it's the same guy and he's like uh so but
as time goes on ryan's being really weird and not really helping with defense or anything like that
but then cooper starts putting some shit together and cooper's like let's see the wound let's see
your big chest wound uh he's like i know you're healed under there because i'm starting to put
together that you're one of these fucking werewolves dude and oh oh what how smart because he would have healed i was
thinking like because they're gonna be like hair no it said he's healing they rip open his shirt
and he's he's no longer got three huge gashes in his chest which uh retroactively makes the
cartoonishly large gashes on his chest like make sense for the right understanding of the movie you've got to really see where they're not yeah and and that's that's very interesting like it doesn't
really pan out in the long run except that makes ryan the ultimate bad werewolf for cooper to
eventually go head to head with uh but other than that it is like a now we have one inside the house
like now there's one inside the house with us. That's extra terrifying.
And they don't really play it like that,
but we do get him transforming in the living room.
And then they put a sword through his chest.
Which doesn't kill him.
Okay.
Does not kill him because he comes down later
to fight Cooper with the sword still stuck in him,
which is awesome.
Oh, that's fun.
I like that.
Yeah.
What other cool action shit happens in here so there's a scene that they um they i think megan says they keep a spare land
rover in the barn and so someone one of the guys is gonna make a distraction while the other guy
runs to the barn to grab the truck so that they can maybe use it to escape.
They do that. It's Spoon and Joe. Not that it matters, really, but they they like one is a
distraction and one runs for it. Joe goes to the barn and gets in the truck and he sees Terry,
who's the one that got dragged away right after calling him pussies.
that got dragged away right after calling them pussies yeah we see him being eat like eaten live it looks kind of it sounds great and it looks pretty good yeah but the the foley on it is like
a dog eating peanut butter it's like and then they cut over and he's just chewing on like a
dummy's neck and their blood and that head looks kind of realistic it's it's pretty awesome and then he
gets scared and like drives out uh gets out drives like a wild man pulls up in front of the house
and he's like come on come on and people are like getting ready and then all of a sudden
you just hear like and the dude in the car i think it's spoon or joe at this point is like
you're right behind me aren't you and then the best i think this is one of the better sequences in the movie because
it matches his character and he's like and that's fucking it and he dives into the back seat to
fight it and it's shot in a way where you don't see the werewolf ever you just hear and then
they come running out open up the car door,
and Joe slides out as like a puddle.
He's like a legit, it's like a puddle with a head and a uniform in it,
just come pouring out.
But his action of like, you're right behind me, aren't you?
And you think he's going to get like, he goes, and that's it, you Roy cunt,
or whatever British slang he yells. He like turns and like that's it you roy cunt or whatever british slang he yells he like
turns and like leaps into the back of the truck and they do like the rocking truck action and
shit like that it works so well yeah oh and this is during this is when the distraction guy is
trying to climb the rope up uh and the werewolf is chasing him the rope is tied to a bed when the
werewolf gets the rope the bed starts sliding towards the wall and they're rapidly trying to cut it and again that's kind of low stakes because like the werewolf is going to
fall eight feet if they do it but the movie features a lot of these like hurry and cut the
rope or else we're all dead like these like goonies-esque kind of moments which just vary
the threat and danger like it doesn't feel too scary but it feels better than shoot it. You know, it just, it's something new.
And I, I, I appreciate, uh, them coming up with newer and newer ideas or different ideas.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, and then after Joe is killed, basically liquefied in the car.
Yeah.
Once he's pureed, once he's turned into a Joe smoothie.
yeah once he's pureed once he's turned into a joe smoothie there's the like moment in the film like the dark night of the soul where they play claire de lune on the piano and you've got to
play claire de lune and they're feeling like more fucked than ever now the second car is fucked up
and there's really no escape uh their ammo is super low. And this is when they start interrogating Captain Ryan.
So they're like, OK, tell us what the fuck is going on.
Like, I know, you know more than you're saying, which like I'm not sure why they didn't ask him this a while ago.
I was like, now he's one of them.
So can we trust anything he would tell us?
Oh, well, this is actually before he turned.
Sorry, I'm jumping.
I'm jumping.
But this is like right before he turns into a werewolf.
But they've seen that he's healed.
So they know that he's like, yeah, going to be.
He's still a man.
Yes.
And as far as we can see.
OK, OK.
Yeah.
And this is where he gives the reveal that they were using the team as bait to draw out the werewolves because apparently they
wanted to capture one alive
to do like testing on it
maybe use it as a weapon
it is a little convoluted and I don't really
you know very alien
like though you know
I was gonna say I see
the sneeze and I think I'm distracting everybody
no I'm like
I want to talk about this movie too at the sneeze and I think I'm distracting it by no I'm like I want to talk about this movie too
at the same time
I agree
like it's it is like alien
there it's like the corporation like
exactly the and the
pro militarization of like it's a
potential weapon like
that that shit
was such a trope of movies growing up
and now it's like a 40 year old man who
understands like the dangers of capitalism i it's all completely believable it's like the
polarizer character in aliens is the most believable character ever it's like no no i was
gonna let all these strangers die for a slight uh increase in my salary yeah it's like oh i was
completely comfortable with that yeah it makes total sense now yep all right and that's the the final like final set piece involves breaking
through wall like involves like zelda level re-understanding the layout of the house i got
pretty lost in the final set piece i got it's. I mean, it's very fun, but yeah, they're straight up just like going through walls.
So after Ryan transforms into werewolf, they stab him with a sword.
There's a fun line where at first when he transforms, they like don't know what to do.
And one of them has a stick and throws it and says, fetch.
And then they stab him and he jumps out a window.
He's obviously not dead and uh then we get
they kind of realize okay there's werewolves spend most of their time as humans and there's
no humans around here except for the family that live in this home so this is where they put
together that the family that lives here must be the werewolves and megan is
saying you know like they're good people like and not anymore megan seems to know a little too much
about the family uh and a little too much how they're really she's really overselling that
they're good people and yeah cooper's like too bad because we have to fucking kill him. Is it her family? Circling, warmer, warmer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then she comes up with the idea, with her zoologist knowledge, she's saying, okay, well, yeah, wolves hunt in packs.
This makes sense that they would have their alpha pair, their beta pair, and they would be staying in shelter near where their food
is and so they're probably all in the barn and she suggests this suggests a plan of basically
using like all their shit to blow up the barn right and then this is where we get the huge uh
molotov they can't get the match to light and then the slow motion throwing of the
molotov cocktail into the gasoline that runs great explosion of the barn uh blows up the barn
completely uh doesn't stop the wolves now i'm really curious about megan's perspective here
and yeah as soon as they blow up the barn she has a moment where she kind of looks like she's
gonna kiss cooper she like goes close to his face and then she says i'm sorry i i thought you were
the best chance i had and again like i'm a little i'm a little confused about some of megan's
motivations here no not arguably none of it makes sense. Because I feel the same way about Megan
in this movie. I'm like, what was she doing from the jump? But she basically reveals,
she gives this little monologue, says, I thought you were the best chance I had at getting out.
I came here to be with nature, to be one with nature. And I got what I wanted.
And you see Cooper's little wheels turning in his head.
And he said, they weren't in the barn.
None of the werewolves were in the barn, were they?
And she says, not a one.
And he goes, the picture of the family, you took that picture, didn't you?
You're not in it because you took it.
She's like, yep.
Oh, Megan, the wolf. Oh, shit. took it she's like yep and there is a shot earlier where she does have a healed scar on her arm of
three scratches that i had noticed about halfway through the movie and i she also she also cuts
her hand gets the bandage and then loses that over the Right, so there are little hints at it. That's fine! But again, I'm like not sure what her
what her whole
deal is with being
pretending to be on there. I thought you were on Best Chance to
Get Out. Like Get Out how?
Yeah. Get Out of where?
Like you're a werewolf. Meh, whatever. It makes no
sense because she like, the thing that
makes the most sense is that she's long
playing the trap for them, more or less.
But then do they have
control over when they transform and i thought like one of the main things of being a werewolf
is you can't control over yeah your transformation very confusing because she would be disappearing
for large swaths of the movie too if she like right yeah there's a couple fun lines in this
exchange as cooper is getting pissed realizing he's been had where he says, you women, same old shite.
Always pretending not to be a wolf and then being revealed to be a wolf.
I told myself this wouldn't happen to me again.
Oh, and do they say they say Goldilocks when they come in?
I feel like they reference. And then this whole thing is arguably Little Red Riding Hood.
Right.
It's like or the three little pigs.
Because there's a lot of like there's a lot of that floating around where it's like grandma's.
Oh, you are a werewolf.
Oh, the wolves want to come in.
There's a lot of that going on, which is kind of fun.
In the trailer.
Yeah.
The last thing is like, it blow she also has a line where she says to cooper you may think all women are bitches or something like
that but i'm the real thing because she's a female dog and it just really made me laugh
so stupid it's like this villainous speech but also just pretty confusing
oh and then the last thing i'm sorry one more little one-liner she has is like
do you think i like this do you think i chose this no but it's that time of the month
that's a really funny that's a really funny way to tease that out. Yeah.
And then we see all the werewolves coming up behind her in like a pretty creepy shot.
She's like backlit and we just see their shadows and like growing behind her and she starts transforming.
Her eyes turn yellow, her teeth get all gnarly and crazy.
And one of the other guys just shoots her right in the head as she's
transforming.
Cause I think they've established that you can kill them while they're
human.
Before they transform.
Yes.
And so that's,
I think why they're waiting.
There's like mention of,
we just got to make it till sunrise.
Like when they transform back into humans,
we can just kill them all then.
And so one of the guys just doesn't hesitate and shoots her right before she transforms
and she seems to die but then yeah then we get this crazy big fight with the rest of them
set piece like breaking through walls they hide in a closet at some point so to try to explain
this to you emily and the view and listeners who have who won't see the movie for some reason um they like
like zelda stop using doors and start just breaking through side like to get away from the
wolves so the sarge is in the closet sarge knows he's gonna turn into a wolf and he's like he's
like saying like leave me here get out of here i let me die and so sarge is in there he's using
like hairspray and a match or hairspray and
a lighter to like defend and cooper's trying to get to him but coming in a roundabout way by
busting through walls after wall and it's very it's kind of cool but like sammy said very hard
to keep track very hard to follow where the fuck they are you said it earlier emily you're like it
seemed like a big house this is where the house seems enormous there seems to be like space in between walls and shit so they're busting around and it's
kind of fun because it's like again he does a neil i'm saying he but neil marshall does a good
job of like now there's like a new thing you're rooting for of like hurry cooper break through
the wall you know like and it's like has nothing to do with shooting and wolves so it's kind of at least and so when they're doing that they fall through to the first floor and notice like uh
some like they notice breaking in the ground and then they fall through eventually to the basement
okay here we go now we've fallen through like we've gone through like six walls on the second
floor fallen through the ground and then fall through another hole in the ground, and
what's in the basement? Carcasses
and all of the... That's
the lair. That's where
when she... It wasn't the barn, it was
here. It wasn't the barn, it was the basement. And
like, them blowing up the barn makes
them use all their explosives. Now you realize
they don't have the capabilities. Now they're...
Cooper is in the
basement, and Ryan, in wolf form shows up
to and and damn oh sorry i forgot one other fun set piece sammy is the dude who uh spoon before
he dies fist fights the werewolf he's like he's like out of bullets he's like oh fuck it then come
on now and it's just like throwing haymakers and like dodging and like punching the werewolf as hard as he can and
then getting like thrown around and he gets absolutely decimated and when they're looking
for him later they find like his watch or whatever yeah in a pile of guts and they're like
quote the matrix and say there is no spoon yeah he's like spoon or spoon there is no spoon. Yeah, he's like, spoon or spoon? There is no spoon. There is no spoon. It got me. It got me good.
I mean.
So now we see Cooper's in the basement
squared off against Ryan in wolf form
and Cooper's using all the pre-established
things we've seen.
He's doing hand-to-hand combat.
He's got a gun briefly.
He loses it,
but he gets tossed to the side
and ends up amongst a shredded tent and carcass and
you're like i recognize these tents i wonder if the letter opener is in there because even earlier
uh they try to melt down silverware and megan says like would be weird for a family of werewolves to
keep a bunch of silver in the house and so it's like shit you're right that's not even silver and now it's like all of
those signs point to this little letter opener and cooper gets it in and smoke and fire comes
out from the fucking wound and shit it looks pretty rad and like you're like there's no reason
to root for like the movie does a good job of making you care about cooper who's just uh you
know who if he died it doesn't affect our lot anyone's lives at job of making you care about cooper who's just uh you know who if he died
it doesn't affect our lot anyone's lives at all but like you care about him so much so him winning
in this moment is fucking rad and i feel like the little dog the border collie that has been at the
house like kind of helps him too he's like you know just there for moral support and just like
barking and like biting at the world so it's like see this dog that he didn't shoot in the head you should have never ryan ryan you turned this is why you don't
kill dogs can be a helpful ally in a fight almost is like this is your revenge for having killed the
dog is that you will be killed as a dog and a dog will hate you a dog yeah so it's it's a weird you know turn of events to get to
the comeuppance but it works wow but are there still other werewolves sergeant wells is in the
house still um as um cooper gets out sergeant wells cuts the main gas line in the in the main
house and basically explodes the whole house with the
rest of the werewolves in there so we don't see him die but we're crossing our fingers
we see we see an amazing explosion yes an amazing practical effects giant fucking explosion of a
house and that uh as you watch more and more action movies in 2022, non-CGI fire and explosions is pretty fucking rad.
And this explosion.
And we got the barn explosion, which is just a little amuse-bouge to the full-blown fucking.
And then Cooper stumbles out with the dog into its daylight now and he comes out of the house
well what's left of the house
and that's the end
of the movie and there's a few little
clips in the credits
it's got a hang
over I should
look up when the hang over one came out because it
rips off the hang over or the hang over rips
off it hang over
came out in 2009 so the hang over rips off this hangover or the hangover rips off it hangover came out in 2009 so the hangover rips off
this ending because this ending shows the photos that were snapped with the camera during the
action which is very fucking because megan was using a camera as the weapon that is so cool
so we see the photos developed and it's like uh black and white of a werewolf climbing into the
window black and white of a werewolf like this and it's really it's like black and white of a werewolf climbing into the window black and white of a werewolf like this
and it's really it's really it's kind of
a cool tag to the movie
I was gonna lose my mind if the
if hangover had come out before
this movie and it
had been 20 something years of or
20 years of the hangover I have no like see
that's the thing is I have no bearing on time anymore
it's hard I mean I would have believed it I was
like probably and then I but I'm I believed it. I was like, probably.
But I'm honestly relieved.
I was like, oh, I watched The Hangover in high school.
It's like, no, it came out when you were 30, John.
Okay.
It does sort of feel like it's existed forever.
Yeah.
Somehow. That's fair.
Wow.
What a cool movie.
There's one little shot in the credits too of the front of a newspaper.
And it's a photo of Cooper.
And the headline is werewolves ate my platoon.
But then you pan out and you see that the main headline is England beat Germany five to one.
That's like takes up like the leading story.
And that's the footy match that Joe has been talking about the whole time.
Yeah.
I thought that was fun.
Yeah, that's cool.
That is fun.
But yeah, that's Dog Soldiers.
That's Dog Soldiers.
I had a great time.
Hell yeah.
Two unwatched Blu-rays between the three of us.
Ridiculous. Man, I Man, this movie did not disappoint. I was very excited to check it out.
I'm a big fan of Neil Marshall. I've seen Centurion. I like even his later movies. I've not seen the David Harbour Hellboy, which I will now watch next. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I didn't even know
he directed it, if I'm being honest, until I looked up his IMDb to see which episodes he what other stuff he's direct. Yeah. Centurion is really fun, too. I don't know if it's fun, but I really like that movie when I first saw it. I'm going to check that out. Yeah, I haven't seen that either. But he's he's great. He's a great director. I love him. Damn. Yeah. Big fan. So I was this movie did did not disappoint it was the early low budget kind
of action thriller that i i needed yes i'm very i'm so happy that you picked it it was a perfect
choice yeah i'm definitely gonna watch it i like any i can do an action horror an action slash
anything i will subscribe to yeah hell yeah and it's funny and and British and British.
So yeah,
unless you can't stand
the sight of even fake blood,
I think you could probably handle it.
Yeah, exactly.
The deterrent is the gore.
It's not like super scary.
Yeah.
And it has the low budget
and comic timing
that makes you feel a little safer and at home.
Yeah, they're not.
We've talked about this, that there are some horror movies where their point is for you to have a good time as the viewer.
That I can do.
You're kind of in on it.
You're kind of in on it is the way I would describe it.
Yeah, I think you're right.
They're like, you can be scared if you want, but mostly just come along for the ride. I think you can handle it. I barely know you and I think you can handle it.
Thank you. I think that I think I can. potentially also for a trilogy. But that's fun. But then he's been interviewed him and like, yeah, no, that's never going to happen.
But we can dream.
I feel like I'd watch a sequel to this movie.
You never know.
It just does feel like the kind of movie, especially because given that it didn't have a U.S. theatrical release.
I know so many people who think this movie totally rules.
And I'm like, it's a movie I've heard about and heard about and heard about.
think this movie totally rules and I'm like it's a movie I've like heard about and heard about and heard
about it seems
like the kind of movie that 20
25 years later would be like they're making
another and everyone would be really pumped about it
yeah
it'll be remade soon enough
and we will not
we will not like the
Killian Murphy dog
I don't know
maybe I like it maybe he likes Killian Murphy dog. I don't know. Maybe I like it.
Maybe he likes Killian Murphy.
Hell yeah. I'm so happy to have done this. I also
feel so lucky to have another
fun one.
We haven't had a real depressing one
in a minute and I'm pleased.
Sometimes we leave these feeling
very bad.
Not today.
Today's not that day. Sometimes horror movies without the context of watching them Sometimes we leave these feeling very bad. Not today. Not today.
Today's not that day.
Sometimes horror movies, without the context of watching them, in the context of just someone describing the plot, they're just like a little too fucked up.
Yeah.
But when you watch it, you're like, oh, it's fun.
I see what they're going for.
But if you're like, and then the father had been raping the daughter for a generation,
you know what I mean?
It's like when you describe it, you're like, oh, fuck, that's awful to hear.
I'm in a bad mood now.
You guys know better than me.
Yep, we've definitely experienced that.
We've definitely experienced that.
Sometimes this can ruin
a day. This can really
leave me with the
bad remainder of my weekend, but not today.
Not today.
Today, the horror is the world.
Well, tomorrow, the horror is the world.
Today, it's happy birthday, Tom, which is all I'll be thinking about.
60 years of Tom is we're so blessed.
Not enough.
Not enough.
It'll never be enough.
Never enough.
He'll keep giving us perfect film after perfect film and we're not worthy.
Thank you so much, Gabrus, for coming on, for picking this movie.
Of course.
Thank you for having me.
This was a true pleasure.
This was such a treat.
Yeah.
You know, we mentioned High and Mighty Podcast.
What else would you like to plug?
What's coming up?
Where should our listeners check you out?
At this point, if you're a movie fan, if you listen to Too Scary, Didn't Watch because you like movies, I have a movie podcast called Action Boys.
We have several hundred episodes behind a paywall, but we have a few free episodes that you can find pretty easily with some light Googling.
Get hooked.
Get a sniff.
Get addicted.
Come back for more.
Get your $5 a month Squared away
But also
I have a TV show
Premiering July 14th
At 10.30pm
Which I believe is tomorrow
Yes
If you're listening in real time
If you're listening in real time
It's 11 days
After Tom Cruise's birthday
Yes
That's how we measure time
If anyone's using
The Tom calendar
Yeah
Some people are Gregorian
Some people are Mayan time spiral And a lot of us's using the Tom calendar. Yeah. Some people are Gregorian.
Some people are Mayan time spiral.
And a lot of us run on the cruise calendar.
The cruisian, yeah.
But the show is called 101 Places to Party Before You Die.
And it's pretty much all there in the title.
It's not as deep as one would believe.
It's me and my buddy, Adam Pally, who I think people are fans of. And we travel the country and party and see if we can see what that's like for two 40
year old friends to be partying together.
Hell yeah.
We used to.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Seems you seem to have survived it.
We survived it.
To survive your dream job is an interesting point of view, but I did manage to survive
my absolute dream job uh so
that's on true tv um and if you're a cord cutter i don't know what the fuck to tell you uh figure
it out uh true tv.com or something i don't know send your mom's dvr just like whenever you know
sneak a password from somebody you can do it you can do it i trust you
pirate it i don't give a fuck just watch it that's all that matters to me uh and thank you guys for letting me uh do a little plugs there yeah everybody check it out
tomorrow and or 11 days after uh grisly and new year however you describe it however you describe
it well i guess we got to do a freaking brit accent. Yeah, we sign off with an accent.
I feel ill prepared.
Let me think of a statement here.
What do they say?
I've got one for you guys.
I've got one for you guys.
Okay, let's hear it.
Women, aka birds.
Oh, birds.
You shite in it.
Shite in it.
Shite in it.
From all of us here at Too Scary Didn't Watch.
That was pretty good.
Yeah, didn't watch.
I like that watch.
Goodbye in it.
Shite in it.
Cheers, mate.
Cheers.
Hey.
Goodbye.
Piss off.
Piss off.
Piss off.
Hey, piss off.
Hi, everybody.
Thank you so much for listening to another episode of Too Scary Didn't Watch.
If you enjoyed the episode, please remember to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
And if you really want to make our day, you can rate us five stars on Apple Podcasts and on
Spotify. You can also follow us on social media at TSDW Podcast. We are on Instagram and Twitter. And if you want even more content,
you can become a patron
at patreon.com slash TSDW Podcast.
We will be back next week
with a regular episode.
We love you a lot.
Bye.
That was a HeadGum Podcast.