Too Scary; Didn't Watch - DRAG ME TO HELL with Joel Jensen

Episode Date: December 18, 2019

A woman named Chris Brown, a spooky hanky, and maggots that are made out of PASTA (actor's rights win!!!) - we're talking Sam Raimi's Drag Me To Hell! Our first ever guest Joel Jensen (UCB's ...The Dragons) returns to describe another fluid-filled Sam Raimi flick. Or does he spoon feed it to us? Listen to find out! Follow the show: @TSDWpodcast on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Check out our Patreon for bonus episodes and additional content! Rate Too Scary; Didn’t Watch 5 Stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Emily, Henley, and Sammy. Advertise on Too Scary; Didn't Watch via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is Emily, Henley, and Sammy, and you're listening to Too Scary, Didn't Watch. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Too Scary, Didn't Watch, the horror movie recap podcast for those too scared to watch for themselves i'm emily i'm scared i'm excited to be here she's excited um hi i'm henley i'm scared too i am sammy and i am brave great cool cool nailed it um did anything scary happen to us this week a scary thing that happened to me and definitely happened to me is that Jeremy Strong didn't get nominated for a Golden Globe
Starting point is 00:00:52 it's sad it really is sad for real yeah Brian Cox got nominated how did Brian Cox and Kieran Culkin I'm sorry but Brian Cox he's so good but over Jeremy Strong. It's crazy. Well, we are quite partial to
Starting point is 00:01:07 Jeremy Strong in this room. We love him. Fans of the pod will know. And he is amazing. But also so is Brian Cox. But I don't know. You know, it's political. It's political. Brian Cox didn't have to literally shit the bed. Do we think that Jeremy Strong literally shit the bed? I heard he's a true method actor.
Starting point is 00:01:25 So, yeah. Yeah. They're like, you must do the shitting. So that was pretty scary for me and only me for you personally. Scary. My scary thing is that I visited my parents this weekend and I spent approximately two hours with my 96 year old grandmother trying to show her how netflix works on her television oh no i left halfway through to go take like a big gulp of scotch in her kitchen
Starting point is 00:01:52 it was like noon did she get did she learn it um no she has no intuition for technology like in a way that blows my mind yeah she i I would be like press the right arrow. And she would have no fucking idea. I feel like yeah. Our brains just like do work differently. From old people's brains. She has no idea. Well a scary thing for me.
Starting point is 00:02:16 That also happened to all of us. Can I talk about this? Yeah. Fuck it. He didn't subscribe. We received a review that started with you know how two out of ten women understand movies without having them spoon fed to them and look i got a lot of problems with this but my biggest thing my number one is say one out of five bitch like two out of
Starting point is 00:02:40 ten fucking come on it's just crazy to start a review with like, you know how women are really stupid. And you don't get anything ever. You know this fact we all understand to be true, which is that women are dumb and don't understand anything. Also, this podcast, also dumb. Okay, but here's the thing, though.
Starting point is 00:03:00 I really meant what I said, which is that I feel honored to have been trolled. Yeah, I feel honored. Actually, we have been trolled. Yeah. I feel honored. Actually, we've been trolled and it's great. Our first trolling. I mean, it was a long review. He wrote like, I mean, at least a paragraph. He cared to let us know how dumb he thinks we are.
Starting point is 00:03:14 He took some time. That's special. Yeah. I mean, I think that we touched him in a way. We touched him in a way. We touched his anger at the stupidity of women. We really got at that core oh man no the best part is that he
Starting point is 00:03:28 was mad that it wasn't a review but it was a recap and he was like these horror movie reviewers are no good they're basically just recapping it when in the description of our podcast if you would read it says a horror movie recap podcast and it's what Emily says in the
Starting point is 00:03:44 very beginning of every single episode. So if anybody's listening now, if you're listening for a review podcast, tune out. Just turn it off. Guys, this podcast is ladies, friends sitting in my living room talking about a movie. That's literally
Starting point is 00:03:59 all you can hope for with this podcast. Yep. And fucking deal with it. But we've got a lot of great reviews. So thank you to everyone who's written good reviews. And you know what? We do it for us. We do it for us. So here we are. Self-care. Self-care.
Starting point is 00:04:15 This podcast is for self-care. I mean, guys, talk about growth and self-care. We're talking about growth, but that's part of it. I've now watched two scary movies because I watched a scary movie this week. Is this when we do this? Yeah. Great.
Starting point is 00:04:33 This week's movie is Drag Me to Hell, which I watched. Emily. So brave. You've made so much progress. I made a lot of progress and I really screamed several times. I feel like we all have made progress. Henley, you watched Hereditary. I feel like I'm getting braver. We're made so much progress. I've made a lot of progress and I really screamed several times. I feel like we all have made progress. Henley, you watched Hereditary. I feel like I'm getting braver. We're just really doing it.
Starting point is 00:04:49 We're really growing and getting brave. I don't know if that doesn't count. I count it. I fast forward through the whole thing. No, I count it. But this week's movie is Drag Me to Hell. It was released in 2009. Directed by Sam Raimi, who also directed Evil Dead, which we've done. Written by Sam Raimi, who also directed Evil Dad,
Starting point is 00:05:05 which we've done, written by Sam Raimi and Ivan Raimi, his brother, starring Alison Lohman, Justin Long, Lorna Raver, and Dilip Dilip. I'm going to say that wrong.
Starting point is 00:05:16 I'm so sorry. Rao is his last name, and I'm so sorry. And to talk about this week's film is guys if you can believe it our first ever guest and our first return guest he is a comedian a writer a director thrilled to have him back on the podcast it's joel jensen Hi. And let me be the first to say it's great to be back. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:05:50 And let me be the second to say that two out of ten women need to be spoon fed. Movies work. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Joel. Oh, it's so validating. Yeah, it's a stat I didn't know before.
Starting point is 00:06:04 And it's because we're too stupid. Yeah, because we're of the other eight. Wait, I forgot you were our very first guest. We're the witch. I didn't realize I was your first guest either, but yeah. Because we did Midsommar on our own. Right. The first guest.
Starting point is 00:06:17 I came in and did the witch. The witch was such a good episode. So if you guys haven't listened to it, go back and listen to it. Joel, did anything scary happen to you this week yeah I think um for me the scariest things happening this week is I'm turning 35 years old
Starting point is 00:06:32 um and it's 35 is like I don't know what it is it's like um a sort of the Robin to 40s Batman where it's getting tangled up in the same shit that turning 40 is
Starting point is 00:06:49 but isn't quite all the way there. Right. It's halfway to 40. What a relatable metaphor. Thanks. But yeah, I'm turning 35. I think birthdays when you get into your 30s, birthdays become scary because they become referendums on what people think about you
Starting point is 00:07:05 as when you like invite people to like come to your birthday you really run the risk of nobody coming and I think it's like less about getting older and more about being confronted with my ultimate isolation
Starting point is 00:07:22 in the universe so you have a straight up existential crisis at every birthday now. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Maybe every day. I was going to say more often than every birthday, but birthdays really hit at home, you know? Well, Joel, we've already sort of, you've been, you're a return guest. So we've sort of talked to you before, but I mean, what's your relationship to scary
Starting point is 00:07:40 movies, Joel? Yeah, give us a refresher. My relationship to scary movies only gets stronger i only like them more um this year has been a really nice one uh like midsummer was such a special experience um i also was thinking about how last time i you asked me what scariest movies i'd ever seen was and i said hereditary and i have been thinking about it and i have a another entry that is more unexpected than hereditary let's hear it which is earnest scared stupid which did you guys ever watch the earnest movies i have not earnest goes to jail i have not which is why i'm extra
Starting point is 00:08:16 laughing at it because i have no context other than like the ridiculous covers of the movie character so earnest the character what he was actually a guy created by a comedian named Jim Varney. And in Ernest Scared Stupid, I don't even know why Ernest is involved in this, but there's a town that this troll comes to. And the troll
Starting point is 00:08:37 would like lure kids to his lair by mimicking the voice of their parents. Oh, that's really scary. He would lure them into sewers and ditches in the woods. That's really scary. Yeah, and he would capture them and turn them into little wooden statues. And it's like the scariest
Starting point is 00:08:54 creature design. Sounds way scary. It has two noses. Two normal, two human noses. Yuck. With four nostrils. Scary. And it's slimy and goopy. Slimy and goopy. Wait, are they supposed to be comedies? Yes, it's slimy and goopy. Wait, are they supposed to be comedies? Yes, it's supposed to be a funny movie. It's supposed to be funny. But I saw this
Starting point is 00:09:10 movie and it totally fucked me up for weeks. I was having nightmares for weeks. This was last year? This was last year. 34th birthday? If I couldn't see my mom and she called my name I like was afraid
Starting point is 00:09:25 oh no that's so scary awful it's such a scary movie I'd be very curious if your listeners can relate Colin
Starting point is 00:09:33 listeners Colin listeners Colin comment hit that comment button it's one of the craziest scariest looking creatures I've ever seen it's like a
Starting point is 00:09:42 it's a true monster you kill them by squirting them with milk or kissing them on the lips. That's pretty good. Oh, my God. It's so scary. Wow. Hi, everybody.
Starting point is 00:09:56 It's time for cocktail hour. Last time we had Joel on as a guest, we had a black Manhattan in honor of Black Phillip, the goat and the witch. And guess what? There's a goat in this movie too, so why not keep that going? So this week's cocktail is a Negroni and the goat. To make a Negroni and the goat, you'll combine one and a half ounces of gin, three quarters, an ounce of Aperol, three quarters, an ounce of sweet red vermouth and a half an ounce of Averna. You'll stir all ingredients with ice and strain into an ice filled glass and garnish with an orange zest twist.
Starting point is 00:10:38 Cheers. I have some trivia. I do too. Let's hear some trivia. Um, so we won't get this until we get into the movie, but Lamia is the name of the spoiler demon in this film. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:10:53 And a Lamia is actually a boogie woman from Greek mythology who stalks the countryside looking for children to devour. And Lamia in it needs to be and Lamia in mythology needs to be spoon fed the curses that it's issued on, right? Thank you for keeping that going. Only two out of
Starting point is 00:11:14 ten Lamia though. Only two out of ten Lamia. Sorry. We'll have to post the screenshot of that review when we post this episode. Also, this is just a little fun thing that before Sam Ray decided to direct the film himself he asked edgar wright to direct was that your trivia yeah that's my trivia do you want to say it instead we'll cut mine out wait who's edgar wright again he did um sean of the
Starting point is 00:11:35 dead scott pilgrim baby driver baby driver in fact the reason he couldn't direct this is because he was working on hot fuzz which is is, I think, his best movie. Hot Fuzz is great. So good. Besides from that, he said he wasn't the right director for this movie. He felt he was not the right director. And this is just for Sammy. I thought you would like this trivia.
Starting point is 00:11:57 In preparation for her role in this film, Alison Lohman, who plays the main character, she would watch a horror movie every day. Wow. Just so she could absorb the horror genre. She would turn off all the lights, watch a horror movie every day. It does change you.
Starting point is 00:12:17 I feel changed. I will say this about this movie. It was scary while I watched it. There were jump scares. I screamed loudly like twice, once or twice, once for sure. Yeah. But it didn't stick with me after like it's like it feels very contained to the movie itself.
Starting point is 00:12:37 So I could handle it. But I really am having a hard time with even when we do the podcast like Paranormal. I was so scared like in the middle of the night. Paranormal is the one that really like, in the middle of the night. Paranormal is the one that really scares me in the middle of the night still, too. So this was okay, because if it's just scary while I'm watching it, I can, like, I can sort of do that.
Starting point is 00:12:53 Even though it was scary. But I do have one more trivia, which is gonna, you guys are gonna know why this is gonna be my favorite trivia, and I'm really, I was really thrilled to read this. Is it about actor rights? It is about actor rights! It is about actor rights! It is about actor rights!
Starting point is 00:13:10 Okay so so this is Sam Raimi same director as Evil Dead who if you're listening to previous episodes you know he likes fluids He loves his fluids. He loves his fluids. There are a lot of fluids in this movie. A lot of fluids and a lot of just like nasty stuff.
Starting point is 00:13:27 And at one point, maggots are vomited onto our main character. Oh, no. Don't like that. Into her mouth. Into her mouth. And guess what? Don't say that. Fake.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Fake maggots. Fake. Thank God. Maggots. The maggots are made out of pasta. And I was thrilled. We've done it. We did it, guys.
Starting point is 00:13:50 We did it. I was thrilled to read that fact. Really, really happy pasta, you guys. It's an actual edible item. So look, so look, if you're horror directors, if you're listening, if you're an aspiring horror director and you're listening, fucking figure it out. Make you can be creative. You're a director.
Starting point is 00:14:11 Don't put real maggots into your actor's mouth. No real cockroaches. No cockroaches. No real chainsaws. No real chainsaws. Come on. No real blood. Come on.
Starting point is 00:14:21 She was spoon fed. Oh, my God. We walked right into that one.-fed because we're stupid okay that's our new tagline because because we're stupid the horror movie recap podcast because we're stupid we're fucking stupid um can i just say before we get into this movie yes also please i'm so proud of what you guys have done with this podcast. When I came on, it was like a real ragtag operation. And now it's like you have cool mics. We have cool mics, headphones. And we're spread out more.
Starting point is 00:14:53 You guys have really figured out how to do it. It's really cool. I listen to it every week. Oh, my God. A week to week listener. Wow. Thank you so much, Joel. That means a lot, actually.
Starting point is 00:15:04 Thank you so much, Joel. Coming from a man, I mean, this should be huge. It counts twice as much as anybody else's opinion. I bet 10 out of 10 men don't need anything spoon-fed to them ever. 10 out of 10 men are brilliant and good. Should we watch the trailer on that note? Let's watch it. Someone has cursed you.
Starting point is 00:15:23 He's the Lamia, the most feared of all demons for the first three days the spirit torments its victims after that it will come to take you take me where to burn in hell for eternity it's coming for me please listen to me there is nothing coming for you how do i get rid of this you can give the curse away this movie i should have mentioned earlier but it's like quintessential to my love of horror movies. Because the first time I saw this movie, I saw it in theaters. And I had the best time I've ever had in a movie watching this.
Starting point is 00:16:16 I remember you saying that's like what made you start to like horror movies is the theater experience. Theater going experience. I went. It was like it had been like out for a couple weeks and we went to the theater in yeah we're going experience i went uh it was like it had been like out for a couple weeks and we went uh to the theater in culver city that's where i lived at the time and we went in there there was probably like 20 people in the in the audience and like me and like a few of my friends and we had the funnest time in the world because this movie is so scary. It is also so funny. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:47 And on purpose. Right. And so the 20 of us that were in this movie theater were like. Screaming and laughing. Rioting together. Yeah. Like looking at each other, like standing up, like going bonkers because this was the it's one of the funnest movies I think yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:17:06 I've seen this movie but I am excited to hear about it again because I don't remember anything I'm excited to hear that it was funny on purpose yes I feel like it's kind of like cabin in the woodsy vibe right like even more I would say it's like it's silly like there are moments that are like so
Starting point is 00:17:22 absurd yeah to me you described it as you said like a looney tunes to me this is like if you looked at wiley coyote as a horror like if you shot wiley coyote stuff to be like horror like using
Starting point is 00:17:38 the trappings and the tropes and the visual cues of horror right essentially like literally at one point we'll get into this but an anvil drops on somebody's head and her eyes pop out into somebody's mouth yeah and it is again really fluidy i cannot wait to hear every little should we get the fuck into it let's do it um into it so i'll say so the main characters we've got allison loman who plays christine brown they call her chris um justin long chris brown the only chris brown we recognize on this podcast you might recognize allison loman from such films as white oleander white oleander also she's just
Starting point is 00:18:20 like a normal lady now and i i said this earlier but i looked up her instagram she's got like 4 000 followers and it's so normal. And I was really thrown. I was really thrown. But so, yeah. Alison Lohman, Christine Brown, Justin Long plays her boyfriend, Clay. Then we have, what was her name? Lorna Raver is the, what's her name?
Starting point is 00:18:41 Oh, Sylvia Ganush. Sylvia Ganush, who's the nastiest bitch oh my god she's an old lady oh my god she's so nasty it's awful it's awful how disgusting she is um let's get into it I was really upset by how disgusting she is um
Starting point is 00:18:57 Joel start us off yeah so I took notes here now I do qualify this with um a disclaimer and also a claim. A claim and a disclaimer. My claim is I think this is one of the best movies to watch when you get high that I know of. Okay. Great to know.
Starting point is 00:19:17 It's so much fun to watch high. I'm too scared. And second, my disclaimer is that I was high when I watched it and took these notes. There we go. There we go. No when i watched it and took these notes there we go there we go no you watched it not high yeah and then two days later you re-watched it high and took notes yes yep correct so we've got a little bit of a got a little bit of both a little bit of both if you're a new parent a bad day means you either ran out of coffee diapers patience or all of the above stocking up on cold brew and deep breaths are all you, but at least Hello
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Starting point is 00:20:23 off your first customized bundle and a full-size freebie product of your choice. That's HelloBello.com slash TooScary to start bundling with 30% off your first order. Don't forget, that's HelloBello.com slash TooScary. I used to love back-to-school shopping so much that I would tell my mom that I wanted to work at Staples when I grew up because I just loved getting all the things that I needed that I would use every day in class. I still to this day have nightmares about showing up in class without notebooks or number two pencils. Really scary stuff. But luckily I wake up and I realize I don't actually need notebooks or number two pencils anymore. But this fall there is something that I will be using every day and would be terrified to be caught without. And that's Raycon's best-selling everyday earbuds.
Starting point is 00:21:20 I've been trying to go on walks every day and so I need earbuds that I can rely on to listen to all my favorite podcasts. And I know you guys listen to podcasts as well, so you know what I'm talking about. I got my Raycons in carbon black because that's my vibe. But they come in other cool colors as well, like forest green and brush violet. But my favorite thing about them is the battery life. They stay charged for 32 hours and they have a new quick charge function. So 10 minutes of charging gets you 90 minutes of battery life. Really freaking convenient for, I don't know, say a long morning walk.
Starting point is 00:22:08 You forgot to charge them and you just need a little bit of juice to listen to one episode of a podcast. It's only going to take you 10 minutes. It's incredible. So go to buyraycon.com slash too scary today to get 20 to 40% off site wide. That's right. You'll get up to 40% off everything on Raycon's website when you go to buyraycon.com slash too scary. Okay, so here we go. So we open in Pasadena, 1969. And keep in mind what's going on in L.A. in 1969, the Manson murders. It's nothing to do with this movie at all. It's not mentioned.
Starting point is 00:23:00 It's never referenced. Absolutely not. But it made me think about it. Anyway, so we're in this like old kind of like gothic huge cool home and this pickup truck like skids up into the driveway and these two mexican migrant workers get out of the truck and their kid is like swaddled up in he's like six years old he's like swaddled up in towels and the mother runs up to the door and like pounds on it and out walks this this woman um and they speak in spanish and she's the the mother says
Starting point is 00:23:34 this woman like our son is sick something is going on we we don't know what it is we think he's been possessed or something supernatural is going on and the woman asks like well what did he do and they and they're and they're like he didn't do anything he's a he's a six-year-old child yeah and then and then she looks at them like right in the face and goes i'm not fucking playing what did he do and they confess like he stole this silver necklace from a gypsy woman. Mm-hmm. And they pull out this big silver necklace and hand it to the woman. Sandina is her name. Yeah, Sean Sandima.
Starting point is 00:24:16 And like a little fly lands on the chain and then flies away. And this movie has some of the best fly performances you'll ever see there was one in the trailer yeah it's great fly work and so this fly lands on the chain and flies away and then she's like as she clutches it
Starting point is 00:24:33 she like immediately is like oh shit this is seriously run inside and the kid is like all sweaty and like shaking sweaty and he's saying stuff about like they're following me I can see them they're close okay so he's been cursed yes oh he're following me. I can see them. They're close. Okay. So he's been cursed. Yes. Oh, he says every time they come back, they get stronger or something like that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:49 He's coming back every time stronger. And it's been three days since the curse was put on him and it's been getting worse and worse and worse. So they run into the room of this big, beautiful, gorgeous house in Pasadena and she like gets ready to like do an exorcism when all of a sudden all the doors burst
Starting point is 00:25:05 open the windows shatter we first see we just see from the kids perspective he looks oh my god I can't believe I forgot this shot this is one of my favorite shots this kid is like tripping out he like looks up at the skylight in this room which is like this beautiful stained glass have we mentioned how beautiful this house is
Starting point is 00:25:22 this house is gorgeous and it's like this stained glass skylight and all these puppeteered hands of like demonic clawed. Freaky like crawly. Three fingered hands. Oh no. They do look like Muppet like.
Starting point is 00:25:37 And they're so Muppet like and that is one of my favorite shots to look at when you're high because you go, these are Muppet hands. What the fuck? But it is like the shadows of like all these hands reaching into the center
Starting point is 00:25:47 there's like dozens of hands like reaching over this like in shadow and he's like very scared and they're so cool and then she begins this exorcism then all the doors burst open all the windows shatter and you hear this like roaring cruel
Starting point is 00:26:03 malevolent sound and then shawn samuels gets punched and you hear like a physical like but you don't see it you just see her yeah she just like jerks over then both of the parents get their asses beat by whatever force this is and then the kid like as like the wind is like rattling around the kid gets up runs out of the couch he like runs out onto this like balcony over the foyer of this gorgeous house and the camera like pursues
Starting point is 00:26:34 him and then like it he gets catapulted over the ledge and falls down like two stories onto this beautiful marble flooring and he's like smashed down there like hurt and like dazed and Sean Sandimus runs out and like
Starting point is 00:26:49 looks over the balcony and sees him wind is blowing through her face and she realizes what's happening and is like no no no and then the parents run out and see they look down the kid and the floor starts to crack open with orange reddish orange glowing
Starting point is 00:27:06 light like streaking up through it oh no the kid is like what the fuck is happening and then the floor collapses like three feet and you see like stalactites and cavern like a cavernous glowing uh hell uh-huh and his parents and his parents like look on and scream like, no, no, no. And then demon hands grab the kid out of the hole and start yanking him down. They drag him
Starting point is 00:27:37 to hell. Then the floor closes up. The floor closes up and they hit you with the title screen, which is my favorite things in horror movies. When like the cold open finishes, then the title of the movie. But right
Starting point is 00:27:51 before that happens, Sean Sandimus goes, we'll meet again. We will meet again. Bam! Drag me to hell. So then we cut to 40 years later, 2009, and we're seeing like LA traffic and we cut into Christine Brown's car and she's listening to pronunciation guides for how to like do the like innocuous california like mid-atlantic
Starting point is 00:28:13 accent she has a midwestern accent we learned she's like a midwestern like farm girl and she's trying to blend in in pasadena the audio is like sounds abound when the mouth is round and she's trying to blend in in LA and Pasadena. The audio is like, sounds abound when the mouth is round. And she's like, sounds abound when the mouth is round. She like goes huge with her Midwestern accent. Two out of ten women. Two out of ten
Starting point is 00:28:37 women need to be spoon fed. Good sounds abound when the mouth is round. I have a little bit of Midwestern accent so i struggle with saying this um you're doing great thank you uh she's trying to like essentially she's trying to escape her past yeah the next the next thing we see with her as like this like corny her like corny theme music is playing the next the next so we start with like her driving to work trying to like not speak um in a midwest accent. The next thing we see of her
Starting point is 00:29:05 is from the interior of a bakery there's like a whole bunch of pastries in the window and she like walks past it and looks in and really wants to get a pastry and then like convinces herself not to eat one. I better not. So like she's better not.
Starting point is 00:29:18 So she's a girl from Midwest. She used to be fat and she's like trying to like be skinny now. So she walks past the pastries then we get into her office which she works at a bank and she's a loan officer at a bank and as she sits at her desk and settles in she like walks uh some people through gives them some good news that they're approved for a loan and then they leave and she sees the empty assistant manager's desk at the bank. So like she really eyeballs.
Starting point is 00:29:45 It's very dramatic. It's almost as if it were spotlit. Yeah. It's very dramatic and very melodramatic. She wants this job. Yeah. And that is like the motivator for so much of this. She's just like a sweet,
Starting point is 00:29:59 basic ass pumpkin spice motherfucker who wants to get this assistant management job. That's all she wants. Then the next thing that happens is this dude, Stu enters the equation stew is an all-time great guy the new guy guy he's in the trailer uh i got a taste yeah and his his his entrance is so she goes and talks to the the manager of the the bank branch and like mentions to him about how she's interested in the assistant manager position and how and he says that he's like yeah you're certainly in condition but so is the new guy stew yeah stew guy stew stew guy new guy stew
Starting point is 00:30:31 and the manager's like hey could you um take your lunch break now by the way christine um and maybe while you're out grab me a sandwich oh god stew walks up and hears it and goes oh yeah could you get me one too oh fuck you stew yeah oh Stu. Yeah. Oh no. And he goes with extra mustard. Oh my god. And anyway. What a piece of shit. So Stu sucks. He comes and he's like, really projects douchebag. He's in the dark night.
Starting point is 00:30:56 Douchebag. So now we've seen what she's up against. What she has to she's ashamed of who she was she's trying to like better herself she's ambitious and now she goes out for lunch break and meets
Starting point is 00:31:12 with her boyfriend who is Justin Long who is a fucking awful boyfriend by the way she brings him lunch she brings him lunch he's trying to be a professor he's a fucking soulless professor of like I don't feel like they present him as that
Starting point is 00:31:28 negative he's just like kind of dopey like he's just like kind of like he's kind of ignorant to her problems he's just not like a great guy all he cares about is intellectualizing thing oh I think this is a part of the thesis of the movie right is
Starting point is 00:31:43 he's intellectualizes everything so he doesn't believe anything spiritual and this man this comes up later he collects coins but he loves christine but i don't think he really does to be very frank so like they have uh they have a they have a chat about just like being in love with each other she then leaves and she no she gives him at this lunch oh she gives him a coin collector she works at a bank and she whenever i guess we're they have coins at banks yeah so whenever she finds old coins she will give them to him because i don't need the old coins so she gives him this old rare old coin super rare right so they're at lunch in his desk he's like oh so cool he takes he like puts in a little envelope and like puts it in
Starting point is 00:32:24 his bag to be like cool i'm gonna take this home i'm such a dork i collect his desk. He's like, oh, so cool. He takes he like puts in a little envelope and like puts it in his bag to be like, cool. I'm going to take this home. I'm such a dork. I collect coins. Yeah. And it's like the way that he takes this coin is like if you're like thinking about like the way it's written, the script coin is definitely in all caps. He takes the coin and places it in an envelope.
Starting point is 00:32:41 Also, just really quick poll. The word envelope, envelope. How do you all say it? Envelope. Now that you've said it both ways, I don't know. Envelope. Also, just really quick poll. The word envelope, envelope. How do you all say it? Envelope. Now that you've said it both ways, I don't know. Envelope? I don't know how I say it. I say envelope.
Starting point is 00:32:51 I think I say envelope. I think it says too fancy. God damn it. I would have thought if you had asked me without thinking about it that I say envelope, but I say envelope. And I don't know what's wrong with me. Wow. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:33:00 It's too French. Henley says aunt. That's true. That's weird. Can I tell you? Can I confess? I avoid saying either because I hate saying aunt.
Starting point is 00:33:13 Wait, what's wrong with aunt? And I don't think I'm fancy enough to say aunt. Aunt is fancy. What's wrong with aunt? Well, and it also is like very East Coast-y and like, what's your uncle's name? Spacklewood or whatever? Spotswood, however? Spacklewood or whatever? Spotswood, Haliburton. Spacklewood.
Starting point is 00:33:28 It's very Spotswood. Uncle Spotty. What's your aunt's name? Genevieve and Uncle Spotty. Yes, that's what I needed to hear. I do say, I say milk. I say M-E-L-K. Oh, I know people who are like that.
Starting point is 00:33:41 Do you say pillow? No, I don't say pillow. Pillow. Okay. Or bag. I think saying it milk just warms the drink up by 10 degrees. It's always lukewarm.
Starting point is 00:33:54 Milk. If it's cold, it's milk. If it's warm, it's milk. Okay, well this is an important sidebar. Am I being too detailed here by the way no no you're being perfect so they have the lunch wait what's he a professor of sorry psychology? psychology yeah
Starting point is 00:34:12 so she gives him the coin she leaves because this lunch break is over and as she's walking out the door he gets a phone call from his mother from his mother and he puts it on speakerphone which is crazy she's barely out the door. Crazy.
Starting point is 00:34:25 She's still in the hallway and his door is ajar. And his mom is trying to set him up with another girl. Oh, no. And he's like, Mom, I love Christine. And I forget. He's like, I love Christine. And she goes, oh, who? That farm girl?
Starting point is 00:34:37 Oh, come on. And he's like. Chris Brown. And so Christine is from a farm. She is. She is. brown and so christine is from a farm yes she is she is you know how people discriminate against farm girls all the time yeah i'm from i'm from iowa and that is the prevailing narrative is that like oh us like oh us people from iowa like these fancy these fancy professors from santa barbara don't like us and born out in this movie. His mom's an asshole. And she's like, well, why don't you date this other girl?
Starting point is 00:35:10 You know, you know, so-and-so has been looking for somebody to play tennis with, which is such a funny line. It's so funny to me. So they're wasps. They're wasps. And here's one of the things that I think where he's a really bad boyfriend. So him and his girlfriend have these plans to come up and have dinner at their house in Santa Barbara and his mom doesn't know who he's talking about and he's like Christine the girl I've been
Starting point is 00:35:33 dating for a year if you're if you live in Los Angeles and your parents live in Santa Barbara and you've been dating somebody for a year and haven't brought him around I think that's crazy that's crazy do you yes no i do a year a year is a long time they're only in santa barbara i think that's crazy especially if you're like an hour or two yeah and especially if you're projecting yourself the way he he carries himself in a way that's like it's disingenuous anyway so so christine goes back uh after that lunch where basically again you know we learn that she's kind of ashamed of who she is deep down and that is just now
Starting point is 00:36:08 reaffirmed for her by this conversation with the mom she goes back to work she hears all of it from the hallway she overhears that whole conversation about the farm girl and how his mom doesn't know who she is right so that happens she goes back to work and Stu immediately tells her that she got his order wrong
Starting point is 00:36:24 he's like I asked her extra mayo and she's like, no you didn't. You clearly said mustard. So she's pissed off and then he goes and she's like, no I didn't fuck your order up. And he goes, you know what? Don't sweat it. Oh, fuck you. Stoosh bag.
Starting point is 00:36:39 A classic stoosh bag. Oh, and then the next scene Stu gives the boss Lakers tickets. Yeah. So just like compounding. He's like, you go to Lakers, right? Yeah. And then as this happens, as he hands those tickets over, the camera then pans over.
Starting point is 00:36:55 We realize we're from Christine's POV and we pan over to these like thuddy. Let me see if I can get it on. Like thuddy fingernails like on the desk nasty fingernails that's a better way to do it and they're like rotten and nasty angular and like
Starting point is 00:37:15 broken and yellow and we pin over and it's this old old lady with one eye is like dead and cataracted and white and the other eye is there and it's Sylvia Ganish. She is applying for a loan extension at the bank. She
Starting point is 00:37:31 is behind on her payments. Her house is going to get taken. Her house is going to get taken. She's defaulted twice on her loan. She's defaulted twice already and Christine says I don't think that Well Christine tries to help her at first. Well yeah and Christine also says like I don't think that my manager can will extend this but like
Starting point is 00:37:47 let me talk to them she like really looks at her with such kindness and like you can tell that she's a nice girl and like what she wants to help she's very she's also trying to get that assistant manager position and the her boss had previously told her we forgot this like
Starting point is 00:38:03 that in order to get that job, you're going to need to make really difficult decisions and I kind of think you're maybe too sweet to get this job. Yeah, he was like, I don't think you can do that. I have to spoon feed you all of the decisions that you make. I really wish everything that was about to happen happened to Stu.
Starting point is 00:38:18 Don't we all? Well, we come to that eventually. Why couldn't she go to Stu's desk? So she goes in and tells the manager like you know like look this old she's like old she was sick like i think we should extend this loan and her boss is like you know if she defaults like the bank will make a lot of money and that would look really good for our branch and that would look really good for somebody who might be looking for an assistant manager's position. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:38:46 And but he goes like, but it's your call. So Christine walks out, turns back to him and goes, I'll take care of it. Because she like looks back at that assistant manager's desk one more time. The spotlight. They're really they're really hitting you hard with she wants this job. So she goes back and tells her like, Ganish I'm sorry we can't extend the loan and Miss Ganish gets like really upset
Starting point is 00:39:10 and pleads with her gets down on her knees please please please like I can't go live with my granddaughter I never beg for anything I never beg for anything please I'm begging you she like grabs like the hem of Christine's dress
Starting point is 00:39:25 and like kisses it and pleads. And this obviously freaks Christine out. Also, we failed to notice that, or to talk about that, while Christine is in her boss's office, the camera pans back over to Mrs. Ganouche who takes her dentures out. They're slobbery.
Starting point is 00:39:39 She like cough hacks under her handkerchief and it's like green, nasty, good. It's like squish and it makes squishy sounds. Fucking disgusting. Yeah she like hawks a huge loogie into her hanky. She is the nastiest nastiest lady you've ever seen. And by the way note the hanky.
Starting point is 00:39:55 Yeah the hanky is important. So Christine goes back and tells her no we can't So then this woman's fucking like begging at your skirt and she's nasty. Christine then gets like freaked out and like jumps away from her and she falls down. And like by this time, everybody in the bank is looking. Security comes over. It's like a big scene has happened.
Starting point is 00:40:11 Yeah. Christine is like screaming for security to come. They take her outside. They like the security escorts her outside. Fun trivia. Her car is Ash's car from Evil Dead. Also, before she leaves the bank, when security comes over and she's like, they're like trying to get Mrs. before she before she leaves the bank but security comes over and she's like they're like trying to get mrs ganouche out of the bank mrs ganouche turns to christine
Starting point is 00:40:32 she goes i beg you and you shame oh my god yeah that's in the trailer you shamed me and i think for my hot take that's going to come later that is the most important line I begged you and you shamed me what was the shaming moment that she called security when the woman was begging so the woman begged and was like hey
Starting point is 00:40:57 and she's like I've never begged anyone in my life please don't do this so in what way could she have said no and not shamed her she could have there isn't i don't know i think there is wow victim blaming no i think that i think that well but we'll get into this later what matters is she was scared she was trying to say no to like get her promotion she did it right she this woman begs to her she calls security gets her kicked out i guess she could have been like i'm so sorry stand up i'm so sorry stand up there's a lot of ways she could have
Starting point is 00:41:27 played it but also this woman but i was nasty and scary yeah but i think that the point is like she could have like taken her to another room she could have broken it to her easily also also like blaming victim well her boss put her in that position and also capitalism doesn't reward kindness her boss didn't though it was her choice it was I think it is important for the film that it is her choice but it also was not it is and isn't her choice she doesn't want to be a nice farm girl anymore it was her choice she has to be a cutthroat
Starting point is 00:41:53 loan shark she even says later in the movie I could have extended the loan and I chose not also relevant is this movie came out in 2009 a year after the housing crisis the mortgage crisis of 2008 so and that's like a part of what she's, the deal is. So anyway, oh my God, we have to move so much faster. It's been like an hour.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Yeah, let's keep going. Okay. Let's talk about the recession though. How did you guys feel? How did it affect each of us? I can't believe how much I fucked this up. No, no, no, Joe, we're fine. We're fine.
Starting point is 00:42:20 Oh my God, Joe, no, you totally did it. You totally did it. This is good. This is good. We're just at the inciting incident. You totally did it. So anyway. You We're just at the inciting incident. You're totally fine. Don't worry. So then we see her boss also is proud of her
Starting point is 00:42:32 for making this decision. He comes to her at her desk and goes, by the way, you've done really great work on this McPherson report. She better get that fucking promotion. Which is on file. And he's like, hey, would you mind? I'm really happy with you. Would you mind going home tonight and working on this McPherson report and bring it to me in the morning
Starting point is 00:42:48 because the VPs are gonna like love what you're up to she's feeling great yeah so then we cut to night and we're in a parking garage and she's walking to her car with a big bucket of like her office supplies including a stapler as she like walks to her car we see
Starting point is 00:43:04 Sylvia Ganish's car and she recognizes it that we see Sylvia Ganish's car. And she recognizes it, that it was Sylvia Ganish's car. She recognizes it as Ash's car from Evil Dead. She recognizes it, yeah. And she starts to get spooked. She jiggles with her keys, and we hear echoey hacking of Sylvia Ganish somewhere
Starting point is 00:43:20 in the parking garage. In her fucking nasty tanker tube. So she then gets really scared because she hears her coughing. So then she gets into her car and her car is like facing Sylvia Ganish's car. And in front of it
Starting point is 00:43:36 we see the handkerchief on the ground. And the breeze blows and the handkerchief in a parking garage. The handkerchief lifts off the ground. It starts floating. Even though it's filled with phlegm. Filled with fluid.
Starting point is 00:43:48 Heavy, heavy snot. It starts floating in front of the car. And it's, she's like, Christine's terrified by it. And it floats, begins to float towards her car. Oh no. And this is where this movie is perfect because you're so scared of this handkerchief but it's a fucking handkerchief right and it starts floating and it's it like floats past her windshield loops around the car takes the corner goes to the back window she's looking in her rear
Starting point is 00:44:18 view and goes past the back window and christine's following it and as the camera pans we see the silhouette of Sylvia Ganish in her back seat of Christine's car. So scary! And she slowly quietly leans forward. Light catches the side of her face just with her dead eye and she goes you shamed me.
Starting point is 00:44:40 Oh no. And then she attacks Christine. She lunges at her. It's like, she goes at her. She like choke holds her, grabs her hair, rips a wad of her hair out. She gets like eight wads of hair ripped out of her head by the end of the movie. Every time she's in a fight,
Starting point is 00:44:55 someone rips out a wad of her hair. Jesus. So then they like into this fight. The car is like in motion. She like throws into reverse, like jam it against a wall. This is the first sign of Christine being kind of a fucking badass. She's like, okay, here we go.
Starting point is 00:45:08 She's a farm girl. Farm girls are badass. And this is where you see like her ash side where like she has that ash resilience. And that's the best part of her character. She's like this amazingly resilient woman. Yeah. And she like gets into this fight. She like, she grabs the stapler out of her office supplies and fucking swaps
Starting point is 00:45:25 Sylvia's head with it and it staples her forehead and then she staples her dead eye shut oh my god then she then she like is getting choked by her and she like reaches for the gear shift of her car and she can't quite reach it it's a very Sam Raimi shot with like
Starting point is 00:45:42 her being like like fingertips just touching it. She finally gets a hold of it, throws it into drive, slams the gas, starts driving straight out of another car that's parked, then struggles to like put her seatbelt on. Oh, yeah. Managing to get her seatbelt on, crashes into the car. Sylvia flies out of the backseat, hits her face on the dashboard and her dentures fly out of her mouth.
Starting point is 00:46:03 And also the staple pops out of the one. The staple pops out of the eye towards camera. Oh no. Her dentures fly out and like hit her. And then Sylvia like recovers, like leans up in the passenger seat, like feels her mouth, realizes that her dentures aren't in there.
Starting point is 00:46:19 And then lunges at Christine and starts gumming her chin. She tries to like bite her, but she doesn't have teeth. This whole fight sequence is so silly, but also horrifying and disgusting. She's drooly, gummy, and it's sticky, and you can see it. Sylvia Ganesh is indestructible. All this shit keeps happening to her, and she's fucking fine. It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:46:43 Yeah. So she gets into this fight. Eventually, like, we'll abridge plenty of it. I mean, there's so many details to it. But I want to do the ruler and the throat. Oh, Christine then grabs a ruler out. And as Sylvia, like, lunges at her again, stabs the ruler into her throat. And then you cut back to, like, a reverse of it.
Starting point is 00:47:01 And the ruler's, like, sticking out of out of just like the side of the frame. What? And then Sylvia like coughs and she goes like, and it just like quivers a little bit. Ew. And then she hawks the ruler out of her mouth
Starting point is 00:47:15 and it shatters her window. She's fine. And she coughs it out. She's not human. She coughs it out so hard that it breaks Christine's driver's side window. It's crazy. Christine kicks her out.
Starting point is 00:47:27 Sylvia ends up dragging her out of the car and with like a brick in her hand and it's like Christine's like screaming Sylvia's screaming it is like really really really intense really hot and and it's all like sexual no no no no like the the heat is there it's like a big moment so fucking
Starting point is 00:47:43 hot sorry so god damn hot and like the music is climaxing It's like a big moment. So fucking hot. Sorry. So goddamn hot. And like the music is climaxing. It's really culminating. And then all that happens is Sylvia just plucks the button off of Christine's coat. All this build up just she goes and pulls a button off the coat. She needs like a
Starting point is 00:48:00 token or something. And then she and then the camera gets bleary like the lens gets all bleary and Sylvia whispers a curse onto the button and says, Amia onto the button and then hands it back to Christine and then leaves. And that's it.
Starting point is 00:48:16 All this whole fight just culminated in just that. Yeah, she could have killed her. She had a fucking brick over her head. I don't think I've ever seen a fight scene between an elderly woman and a young woman before and it's fucking i did not see it coming she's just it just like goes and it is huge so now we go into like uh the police show up she's giving her statement justin long shows up and hugs her um and she's traumatized and scared we cut now to like they
Starting point is 00:48:42 leave some shop they walk and they're like walking on the street she's talking about like how scary it was and they walk past the fortune tellers in our very own Silver Lake yeah and so Christine's like hey can we like go into this fortune teller like I would like to have my fortune told and of course Justin Long
Starting point is 00:49:00 who's a fucking prick is like do you really want to get your fortune wrapped she's good for her she like always sticks to her fucking prick is like do you really want to get your fortune wrapped she's good for her she like always sticks to her convictions and is like yeah I've had a long ass day and this is what I want so they go in and
Starting point is 00:49:14 do you really though he's such as like a college guy you know he's like probably what I was like in college which is why i hate him so much and so they go in and then uh this the this figure this character ram joss comes out who's uh dillip i forget his last name rao and is like hey i'll read your fortune and so they go in to do the fortune reading and of course justin starts quoting Freud to him about like
Starting point is 00:49:45 scoffs at how much money he charges. He's like seriously. Yeah, which is cheaper than the house of intuition by the way. But anyway I was going to say 2009 psychic prices. I can't imagine they're too crazy. It tracks based on psychic inflation. So then Justin Long is like freud at him and then
Starting point is 00:50:07 rom then quotes young back to him which fucking team young over here yeah team young too like come on freud yeah justin long sucks yeah right yeah for sure fucking child anyway so then he starts to read a fortune and like at first it like seems like kind of like um he's a charlatan like he like is like something's been taken from you and he like flips her arm over and it's like a button and just as long as like yeah anybody could fucking figure that out like her button is missing that doesn't mean anything which points to him for that then rom really starts like getting into it and then the like lighting shifts and this like weird filter like starts circling around the room and it gets really intense things start rattling
Starting point is 00:50:52 photo frames start cracking and then he like rom just goes like you know what um actually i think you should go and i don't want your money no charge i think it's time for you to leave like paranormal activity never a good sign never a good sign yeah he's like just please go i i don't want your money no charge I think it's time for you to leave like paranormal activity never a good sign never a good sign yeah he's like just please go I don't have anything to do for you and then they're like she's like what the fuck like what happened and he's like did you speak ill of the did you
Starting point is 00:51:16 blaspheme the dead in a cemetery have you been like fucking with Ouija boards standard first question yeah yeah yeah have you been fucking around with Ouija boards like and then Justin's like come on man and he's like hey like look you should just go and then he then eventually when she's like i haven't been speaking to the dead i haven't been fucking with with ouija boards he goes perhaps somebody has cursed you then and then we go then just long drops her off at her home and it's like he has to go take care of something for an hour or so and
Starting point is 00:51:44 so she's home alone and this is where ding ding ding round one of Lamia versus Christine comes into the equation yeah it's crazy even like regardless of that she was fucking attacked in her car and she's just left alone yeah just being home alone well
Starting point is 00:51:59 not fully alone she has a little kitten she has a little kitten and he's a bad boyfriend he's a bad boyfriend so she's like no i was gonna say good kitten round one begins she's baking she's like baking something in her oven and as she it's like a cake or something i don't know and as she she like folds up her uh her like baking cookbook and as she closes her bacon cookbook a photo of her as the pork queen from her hometown falls out of the book. So in her hometown when she was fat she was the pork queen.
Starting point is 00:52:32 In my hometown? We had a pork queen in my hometown. In what way is she the pork queen? It's like a community thing like the county fair. It's like a beauty pageant kind of thing and like they'll crown a pork queen. I knew the pork queen in my in my hometown. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:52:47 You knew. Yeah. So she's the port queen. And you see her. She was like a she's like a fat kid and she's posing with the pig. And it says a port queen. And she's embarrassed about it. And she like throws the picture away because she's like, again, embarrassed about who she is.
Starting point is 00:53:01 Then as she's like doing this, then like you hear this like really terrifying squeaking grating of metal on metal and the lights get nasty and you're like oh fuck here we go right lami is here lami is here and then she like looks out the door oh it's just the the metal gate in front of my house yeah we see like the gate like sort of opening and shutting. Okay. Outside. But then like as soon as she figures that out, she like looks in and these shadows start to coalesce into the silhouette of a goat-faced
Starting point is 00:53:34 being. It's always a goat. That then leaps off of the wall at her and like with like a jump cutty like and like she's scared. And then it like courses through the house and like with like a jump cut he like and like she's scared and then it like courses through the house and like rattles all of her pots and pans breaks the back window
Starting point is 00:53:50 and then like rams into her and smashes her against the cabinets and like bloodies her lip so she's like been physically attacked same as like in the opening sequence so like it's like it can like punch you but it's just like a force of air so like it's like it can like punch you but it's right air so then justin long comes home and it's like uh you like i can't believe that sylvia came here
Starting point is 00:54:11 again she's like it wasn't sylvia and he's like so who was it a shadow of a goat yeah and she's like i don't know like it's the demon and he doesn't believe her right he calls the cop and that's when he's like the cop is like yeah well you know like we don't have any evidence of anybody who's here and then just long goes to the cop like it must when he's like, the cop is like, yeah, you know, like we don't have any evidence of anybody who's here. And then Jess Long goes to the cop like, I must be, this is classic PTSD. Yeah, she's psycho. Yeah. And so then they go to sleep and she falls asleep in her bed and she wakes up in the middle of the night.
Starting point is 00:54:34 Huge mistake. She falls asleep next to him, wakes up in the middle of the night, sees that the window is open. I've seen this and I'm scared. Yeah. And then she like goes back to sleep and this fly comes in to the room, flies in through the window. I think it's the same fly actor as before.
Starting point is 00:54:52 Yeah, I think so. Same fly actor. I think so. I think it's an Andy Serkis mocap. So the fly comes in and then the fly like buzzes around and this is a very Sam Raimi moment. The fly lands on the camera lens and it racks focus onto the fly and then racks back out which
Starting point is 00:55:07 is just like Sam Raimi going like remember that I'm that this is a movie that's being like composed by me he's like I'm a director and I'm good at it yeah he's like remember I'm here so the fly like then lands on Christine's face and starts to walk around her face
Starting point is 00:55:23 and it climbs up her nose comes back out of her nose then climbs into her mouth and she wakes up again coughing oh no and she's like and then she like calms down reclines back to go to sleep and next to
Starting point is 00:55:40 her is Sylvia again and she's rotted face who screams at her even nastier than before who screams at her. Even nastier than before. Yeah, screams at her, jumps on top of her, starts barking at her like a junkyard dog. Oh my god. And then pukes a whole bunch of maggots into her mouth. Which, guess what?
Starting point is 00:55:55 It's pasta. Pasta. Ew. Like orzo, I'm guessing. Orzo. It's like one of those. Yeah, orzo is a good guess, I guess. No, I think it's bigger than orzo. Bigger than orzo. I think it's like one of those. Yeah, Orso's a good guess, I guess. No, I think it's bigger than Orso. Bigger than Orso. I think it's like those like almost like seashell shaped little guys. Oh, you've thought about it. You've thought about it. Those tiny little.
Starting point is 00:56:11 They're maggots. It's Ditalini. They look like. They're maggots. They're just maggots for our purposes. Pasta for me. And they like go into her mouth. They're like nasty.
Starting point is 00:56:21 And there's like all this like black rotten like looking stuff with them too. It's so gross. It's so gross. And there's one of the things you have to understand about this movie is like it's not like 20 maggots got puked in your mouth it is 5 000 maggots there are so many of them it's like so over the top wait emily when did you scream you said you screamed twice is this one of the times i think i screamed with the shadow in the kitchen. You screamed with around one shadow, yeah. And the second scream hasn't happened yet. Okay. Be sure to let us know.
Starting point is 00:56:48 Yeah, please do. Yeah. So then she wakes up the next morning and is scared and is like, I couldn't wake up. I couldn't wake up. And then Justin Long drives her to work. She goes, Stu asks her for more help about their loan procedures. And she screams at him about getting his filthy pig knuckle off of her desk because she's all crazy at this point
Starting point is 00:57:07 she still has his hand on her desk and is doing the same like finger tapping thing but she sees it as Sylvia Gannu's hand and she can't stop and so then she goes get your filthy pig knuckle off my desk and then she gets in trouble for this she like creates a scene
Starting point is 00:57:24 we know she's a port queen so she thinks in terms of picking up and she creates a scene gets in trouble and then in the commotion uh stew steals the mcpherson report off of her desk in the commotion she gets a massive nosebleed she gets a massive nosebleed that like again when we're talking about 5 000 maggots being puked out onto her her nosebleed is like air pressurized. It shoots out. Sammy loves Sammy. Sam Raimi.
Starting point is 00:57:48 Sorry. Sam Raimi. Sammy Raimi loves fluids. And it is, she like shoots blood out of her nose. It sprays all over her boss. And one of my favorite lines in the movie is the boss, I think five times, goes, did it get in my mouth? Did it get in my mouth?
Starting point is 00:58:07 Where it's like, you don know that if blood got in your mouth it's so funny to me who could answer that for you it's a perfect one you're the only one can you see so that scene is great because she's like shooting blood and then in the commotion yes Stu steals a McPherson report important moment so then
Starting point is 00:58:22 Christine's like fuck dude this is real i've been cursed and like all these crazy things are happening to me i've been attacked my nose is bleeding i'm freaking out so she goes to sylvia again and she's granddaughter's house to be like is sylvia here i need to talk to her i need her to forgive me so that this curse will go away and her granddaughter's like fuck you man get the fuck out of here like what do you think you can do like and then eventually the granddaughter's like all right fine you know what come on in so christine comes in it's like a creepy house and then she walks down this hallway and then all of a sudden she's like incorporated into this crazy party with all these people like drinking, screaming, dancing, playing cards, having
Starting point is 00:59:05 fun. It's very, it's filmed very like you feel like lost. It's like the hottest party in LA. Honestly, it's like dope. And then she realizes that this is the funeral for Sylvia Ganish. Sylvia Ganish has died. Oh no. It is too late.
Starting point is 00:59:23 Sylvia is dead. died oh it is too late sylvia is dead and then as she's like spinning around worried about this she trips over the table that sylvia's body is laid out on a casket on this yeah she breaks the legs of the table and falls to the ground and sylvia till sylvia's corpse tumbles out and falls on top of her and barfs a whole bunch of embalming fluid into her mouth. Just 8 million gallons of it. So now she's like, fuck, Sylvia's dead. She cannot lift the curse off of me. And her granddaughter walks up to her
Starting point is 00:59:54 and goes like, you deserve everything that's coming to you. And then that's the end of that scene. I don't think she knows exactly what's coming to her. One of the things that the granddaughter says to her when she opens the door Is you used to be a real fat girl Did it you?
Starting point is 01:00:09 Oh my god What is this fat phobia? And then Christine goes Yeah like kind of like a gunfighter Would say it And then she goes I could tell And anyway Wow
Starting point is 01:00:23 So then so now. That's so rude. Yeah. What a weird like plot point. So she goes back to Ramjas then and is like, fucking Sylvia is dead. What am I going to do? And he's like, she can't lift the curse. What do I do? And so Ramjas is like, well, you could offer it a blood
Starting point is 01:00:39 sacrifice to appease the spirit. An animal sacrifice. An animal sacrifice of some sort. Oh no, not to kitten of some sort and she's like i'm a fucking vegetarian she goes on a whole thing of like i don't even i'm a vegetarian i don't just kill animals and then rom goes you'd be surprised what you'll do when the lamia comes for you so he gives her a book on blood sacrifice she goes home and she's reading it and like you like see the cover as she's like reading it she shuts it and it like smash cuts to her little kitten. No, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 01:01:08 And like mewling to her. And then ding, ding, ding. Round two of Lamia comes in. Lamia comes back. And he he like comes in kind of like he did before. The like clanging sound, the shadows. And she's scared. So she she like runs upstairs.
Starting point is 01:01:23 This might be when I screamed. Yeah. She like runs upstairs into her bedroom and like locks the door and she hears these clomps clomp clomp up the stairs and you see the silhouette of these cloven hooves like on the other side of the door
Starting point is 01:01:38 and then the cloven hoof shadows like invert themselves into shadow the shadows of hands that like start reaching out towards her and like swipe at her she she tries to run away she tries to go to the window to get out of her house and then a flashy demon
Starting point is 01:01:53 face charges it again like and she screams this that was an point and then and then she gets the shit kicked out of her by an invisible force it like pulls her up into invisible force it like pulls her up into the sky it like spins her around it throws
Starting point is 01:02:10 her into like it smashes her room up it throws her against her wardrobe her whole room is like destroyed and she's just like totally got the shit kicked out of her and then like and then it stops and then this like look of deadness comes across her face.
Starting point is 01:02:26 And then we cut to a dutched shot of her knife block. And she grabs a knife, a big sharp knife out of it. To stab at the invisible force? And then goes, here kitty, kitty, kitty. Oh no! And then we find the cat laying in a pile of her laundry very cutely. Again, it is a kitten. It's not even a cat.
Starting point is 01:02:50 Small and very cute. We cut to then an exterior of her house and the cat squeals. No. In the director's cut, you see her stab it. God damn it. I'm so glad I didn't watch it. And then we cut to the next morning. She's like burying its body in her garden.
Starting point is 01:03:06 And Justin Long comes in and is like, hey, like maybe we shouldn't do this trip to my parents' house. You've been having a rough time. And she's like, you know what? No, I think everything's going to be OK. She's like, I just killed my kitten. I'm feeling good. And he, I guess, hasn't noticed that the cat is dead.
Starting point is 01:03:24 He's a bad boyfriend. Yeah, he basically barely knows that the kid he doesn't care right so he she's she's an accessory for yeah he's all concerned about his he's like we're meeting my parents you're gonna like this is my so yeah so she says like you know what honestly i think everything's fine i think i solved it and he after he's like there's blood on you and she's like no i was cutting a tomato and it squirted onto me so then we cut to like she's uh walks down the stairs modeling this like beautiful dress that she wants to wear to go see his parents all right so then we go to his parents house and they walk in and his parents are like so rich and they're so waspy they like are like oh hello they're like like it's like they like they're like holding their noses as they speak.
Starting point is 01:04:07 Yeah. He calls. Justin Long calls his dad, sir. Gross. Oh, no. They're like, and his wife asked for a Chardonnay. And then they like go and they walk into the dining room to have dinner and they walk past their cat, whose name is Hecuba.
Starting point is 01:04:20 A black cat. A black cat named Hecuba. And Hecuba hisses at Christine. Because she knows. And her parents and Justin Long's parents are like, Hecuba. A black cat. A black cat named Hecuba. And Hecuba hisses at Christine. Because she knows. And her parents and Jessalyn's parents are like, Hecuba's never like this. Hecuba's usually so sweet. And then they go and they, oh, and
Starting point is 01:04:34 Christine has brought her own offering, which is maybe what she was baking in round one with Lamia, because this was just the day before, which is what she calls a harvest cake. And it's this nasty, gross looking before which is what she calls a harvest cake and it's this nasty gross looking cake that is like um and uh she like her just long as mom is like what what's that and she goes oh it's called a harvest cake she goes oh is that some sort of farm cake and she goes yes like when
Starting point is 01:05:00 we have um why is it called a harvest cake well yes when uh it's harvest time and we have a good gaggle of geese and she goes geese she says yes uh at harvest time makes for it the yolks are denser so it makes for a richer cake which is the grossest way to describe making a cake ever because a it's made out of goose eggs b the yolks are dense egg. The yolks are dense. And it's like a dense yolk cake. It's gross. So they go and they have dinner. Wait, so you forgot one of the very best parts,
Starting point is 01:05:34 which is when Hecuba hisses at her, they say, the mom's like, do you have any cats? And, or she, or something, Chrissy does something like. You know how cats are. She's like, yeah, she's like, oh, you know, I had a cat. And Desmond goes,
Starting point is 01:05:47 had? And she goes, I mean, who's, who even knows? Who knows how cats, I don't know where my cat is. Who could even tell?
Starting point is 01:05:54 Like this very obvious thing of like, is my cat gone? I don't know. Who could know? Cats go here and there. What's, who knows?
Starting point is 01:06:01 She has this like super guilty look on her face when she does it. It's so wild. So then they go in to have dinner and they're like talking and you know it's like intimidating to meet these parents and stuff and they start talking and christine starts talking about her parents and she starts talking about her mother and and basically tells clay's parents that her mother is an alcoholic and it's like this big uh-oh moment then Clay's mom is like oh my gosh you're
Starting point is 01:06:26 so strong to be able to admit that my dad was an alcoholic and I was never strong enough to be able to admit it I really like you you have backbone I really like this girl then they start talking shit about his ex-girlfriend like Clay's ex-girlfriend and now we're in now like it's like oh we all like
Starting point is 01:06:41 each other now that you've said something that exactly happened to me yeah now I can relate. Yeah, they're Republicans. Big time. So now it's like, things are going good. And then all of a sudden, Sylvia Ganish's eyeball pops out of her cake. We're serving the harvest cake. So we're all eating the harvest cake.
Starting point is 01:07:00 And then Mommy Business is like, this looks great. I can't wait to eat the harvest cake. They're all served. Via the servant. So Sylvia Gansh's eyeball pokes out of the cake. It like squirms around and then she like flicks away with her fork. And then all of a sudden this eyeball pops out. And she's like, what the fuck?
Starting point is 01:07:18 And she tries to stab it with her fork. And then it like bleeds strawberry jam all over her plate. And then her fork gets sucked into the cake of course nobody else sees this happening she's like hallucinating this she starts to panic she starts to get weird stops listening to the conversation and then all of a
Starting point is 01:07:36 sudden starts coughing like really hard and then she coughs up the fly that flew into her mouth the previous night and then they're all like this and then they like uh snap zoom into the cake where it's like a bunch of raisins and stuff in the cake and they're like oh there's flies in the cake and they get scared then the room starts to rattle and shake for christine only and she jumps up throws her glass at a door and screams like I see you I see you what do you fucking
Starting point is 01:08:06 want every time the mommy comes it's like really loud for her like the sound she like definitely plug her ears it's like really intense only for her yeah and so it's like waging the psychological warfare about her so so then after she like has this freak out she says to like the
Starting point is 01:08:22 parents like I think I need to leave and the mom is like yeah I think you need to get the fuck out of here right and then just and then like just long as gonna like follow Christine and her and his mom like grabs and was like don't follow her right and he's like I have to save her and she's like she's a sick girl
Starting point is 01:08:38 and I think that says a lot about his character too right who I really don't like him then she goes back to ram joss and she's like screaming at him like i killed the and she says i killed that little kitty you're full of shit she's so mad that she killed a kitten yeah and then he's like you need to like mad too yeah he's like you need to like hire the big guns then and you need to go to Sean Sandimus and get this motherfucker dealt with. She's been
Starting point is 01:09:07 touched by Lamia before. She's contended with him before. You just need to get $10,000 in cash by tomorrow. $10,000. Wait, isn't Lamia a woman? Well, in Greek mythology, but in this movie he's a male demon. Okay.
Starting point is 01:09:23 Typical Hollywood. Typical Hollywood. Greek mythology but in this movie he's a male demon okay typical Hollywood how old is Sean Sandimus she's probably like in her 60s at this point yeah she was young she was like in her 20s probably so now he's like she's like your only hope then the next day at work
Starting point is 01:09:41 she goes next day she goes to work and finds out that Stu gets the promotion well the way she finds out is she goes to work and finds out that Stu gets the promotion. Well the way she finds out is she goes to her boss and she says hey I'm going to need an advance on my first assistant manager's check. Because she needs the money. And he goes oh well. About that. About that. The
Starting point is 01:09:57 project you were working on the McPherson file fell through. A different bank got it. A different bank got word of it. We lost it. So you're not going to be the assistant manager did that because stew stole it stew stole it wow stew so she's like how the fuck do i get ten thousand dollars by tomorrow so now she's like she she like finds out that like so now she's lost her man she's lost her promotion she lost everything that act one set up that she had to gain she goes
Starting point is 01:10:26 home and she's like she's like i have to pawn off all of my belongings to get 10k so i can go and like deal with this shit so the first thing she packs up is a flute then she runs into her shed and packs up figure skates and into a big pink chest because again this is so there's 80 dollars yeah so and then while she's like running around her shed like getting her belongings she like pulls a curtain aside and there's Sylvia Ganish and who jumps at her grabs her
Starting point is 01:10:56 slams her into a pole and then punches into her mouth and down her throat so like her whole arm goes into her mouth elbow deep and then this is when we have our true Looney Tunes moment where Christine with
Starting point is 01:11:12 Sylvia's arm still in her mouth this whole scene happens with the arm in her mouth oh no she has her figure skates to her side she looks around the room sees an anvil hanging from the ceiling by a rope, follows the rope through a pulley,
Starting point is 01:11:29 sees where the rope ties in, grabs the ice skate and chops the rope so the anvil falls from the ceiling onto Sylvia Ganish's head, knocking her eyeballs out and into Christine's mouth. You know how you just have an anvil in a shed on a rope, fully?
Starting point is 01:11:47 So, yeah, so then she goes, yeah, so she goes to the pawn shop, gets $3,800 for her troubles. And Sylvia, like, disappears because she was in a figment of her imagination. Yeah, she goes home and eats ice cream and then Clay comes over. Even though she's lactose intolerant. Yeah, and goes, hey, why are you eating ice cream? I thought you were lactose intolerant.
Starting point is 01:12:03 She goes, I just wanted to eat ice cream. So Clay comes in and is like hey I paid Ram. I gave him the $10,000. And she's like why? And he's like because when I fell in love with you I made a promise to take care of you. To save you. And so I paid him.
Starting point is 01:12:22 I paid him. And didn't she also say like you don't believe it and he's like no but but you don't believe it. And he's like, no, but you are having a hard time. Yeah. He's like, I believe in you. And so I paid him.
Starting point is 01:12:30 I don't know. I feel crazy, but I did it because I love you. And I remember the moment I fell in love with you. I mean, in the last scene we saw him, he said, I have to save her. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:37 He wants to save her. This is about him. Yeah. Feeling like a good guy. Also, money is immaterial to Clay. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:44 His parents are rich as fuck so now she goes to the seance clay takes her to the seance and we meet sean sandemus again uh christine talks to her about it like you know you've met lamia what happened she's like i lost the soul of a young boy to him and i swore i would get my i would get mine off of this motherfucker. Yeah. And so they begin. And we have in our stands four people. We have Christine. We have Ram. We have Sean Sandimus.
Starting point is 01:13:13 And we have a new character named Milos. Who I learned in trivia is her son. Is Sean Sandimus' son. That's what he's meant to be. Oh, really? They don't really say it explicitly. Interesting. He's a huge idiot. Justin Long is not there.
Starting point is 01:13:26 No. No. He's not allowed idiot. Justin Long is not there. No. He's not allowed in. He does not come in. So they so Milos brings a goat out because Lamia is a goat spirit and the idea here of this seance is they'll summon Lamia. Lamia will possess Sean Sandimus and then they need to get Sean Sandimus' hand onto the
Starting point is 01:13:42 goat which will transport Lamia into the goat and then they'll slaughter the goat and that'll be the end of Lamia. Got it. Again, basic physics. They do the seance. Pretty simple stuff. And I'm gonna try to make this quick because I know we're running so long. That's okay. But they eventually start by conjuring
Starting point is 01:13:58 some ghosts. One of the ghosts is carrying a trombone which is very funny to me. It's a very haunted mansion at Disneyland ride style ghost appearance they're all like in old timey clothes and like playing musical instruments then those ghosts disappear and then Lamia arrives
Starting point is 01:14:13 and when Lamia arrives it all falls very very quiet Lamia pushes the furniture of the room around very sort of just like lackadaisically just to like flex a little bit and and yes and then and then all of a sudden it gets really loud unbearably loud everybody in the room is like covering their ears freaking out and then the camera like shoots in on
Starting point is 01:14:40 Sean Sandimus and she becomes possessed by Lamia and her pupils like dilate for her to be her whole eyes. This is what we were going for. Her teeth get sharp and Lamia is nasty, nasty and also like very cool. When she becomes Lamia, she like leans back in her chair. She becomes like so sedate. She's got swagger.
Starting point is 01:15:01 Yeah. And like, she's like luxuriating in her chair. She feels fucking good. And Ram Joss is like, Hey, like Lamia, look, well, first of all, she's like luxuriating in her chair and there's fucking good and ram joss is like hey like lamia look well first of all christine's like it wasn't me it was my boss she says her boss's name and then oh and then ram joss is like shut the fuck up like and he's like lamia look let me level with you christine is nobody surely a demon of your stature doesn't need to like fuck waste his time with christine brown and lamia leans back in that chair and lamia is like wait this isn't chris brown oh my god oh no
Starting point is 01:15:35 i've made a huge mistake lamia goes like lamia starts laughing and is like oh i'm coming for you christine brown i'm going to feast on your soul i'm gonna feast on your soul for all of eternity and i can't fucking wait oh baby i'm gonna fucking rip you to shreds forever and i'm gonna love it i'm gonna love every fucking minute of it and it's awful it's really awful then but but lamia's flaw is hubris lamia's not paying attention and so christine while lamia's like being like all like showy showy knocks his hand onto the goat and lamia's spirit goes into the goat the goat then has the ability to speak english and calls her a black hearted whore and a bitch. The goat, like literally a puppet of a goat goes, black hearted whore.
Starting point is 01:16:28 They use a puppet for that scene I saw. It's really funny. Then Milos goes to like go kill the goat. It's his one job. The goat is tied to the table. Milos totally blows it and accidentally cuts the rope that the goat is tied to. The goat runs away.
Starting point is 01:16:43 Then the goat bites Milos' hand and then Lamia's spirit is transported into Milos who then starts floating and flying around and like dancing on top of the table he kicks like a candle over it like creates a big fire and he's like dancing and like circus music starts playing and it's really broad and crazy
Starting point is 01:17:00 and his face gets all like practical makeup his teeth get sharp like his nose gets and then he like beats up everybody in the room except for Christine and then like chases her and like blocks her from leaving Christine like screaming at him
Starting point is 01:17:15 like please please please like I killed my kitten to like appease you and then he pukes her kitten's corpse up at her feet and goes I don't want your fucking kitten, Christine. I want you. It's like very scary. It's crazy.
Starting point is 01:17:35 And he goes, I don't want your cat, you dirty pork queen. Oh my God, again with the pork queen. He calls her a dirty pork queen, which for a demon to call somebody else dirty is very silly very silly looking at mirror buddy so then so then uh uh sean sandemus gets like resuscitated by uh rom and she like does some badass conjuring style shit and like exercises lamia's spirit from the room and it's like very dramatic and big and
Starting point is 01:18:07 exercises him from Milos who collapses onto the table the room goes quiet the lights become normal and then Milos recovers and goes I'm okay and it really is very funny I'm okay I'm okay
Starting point is 01:18:22 and then Sean Sandimus dies dies it's she spent her last like her last life force getting lamia out of there okay yeah and now she's dead too much so then christine's like hey fuck yeah like i can't believe she died but it worked she's like she says to rom she's like crazy that she waited her whole life to confront him and then she did and she got him out and then she died because christine's like, she says to Rom, she's like crazy that she waited her whole life to confront him. And then she did. And she got him out and then she died. Because Christine's like needs this like round ending on everything. And then Rom goes, nah, dude, all she did was kick him out of the room.
Starting point is 01:18:56 He's coming for you still. Yeah. And she's like, well, fuck, what do I do? And he's like, you've got one more course course of action which is to give the cursed object to somebody else passing it on just passing it on same fate they will be banished to hell for forever so then she gets picked up by uh by uh her bad boyfriend they drive away and then they almost crash into an old man who's walking across the street and he has to hit the brakes really hard. And her bag and Justin Long's bag both fall into the foot space of the passenger seat of the car, mixing up the contents of their bags.
Starting point is 01:19:36 Now note that each one of them, so earlier he put his coin into an envelope. Huge spoiler. And later she put her button into an envelope. Okay. So it's mixed up. They carry on. Then she goes to this and then he's like, hey, we're going to take this trip tomorrow morning. Meet me at the train station at
Starting point is 01:19:55 7.30 a.m. And he's like, do you want to stay with me? She's like, no, I have to do something before we go on this trip. She's all worried after the car, that they almost got a car accident. She's like, oh my god, where's my envelope? Where's my envelope? And she's worried she's not going to find it. She finds the envelope. She's like, oh, thank god. And she like takes her envelope
Starting point is 01:20:12 and is really happy. Yeah, she's like very relieved because their plan is to like go to his parents cabin for the weekend to like relax. Which I learned in a trivia that he meant that Sam Raimi meant to be the cabin from Evil Dead. Yeah, why not? You know? Which is also like, if they the same universe there also would have been bad. He said it was the same universe.
Starting point is 01:20:29 Um, so she's like, Hey, I like, yeah, I'll meet you there at seven 30. I have to take care of some things before we, we go.
Starting point is 01:20:37 So she, we cut to, she's at a diner eating or drinking coffee and like, like tapping the envelope on the counter like very nervous looking around and there's like a waitress at the diner's like are you only going to drink coffee
Starting point is 01:20:54 and she's like what do you care and she's like people who drink coffee don't tip well and she goes say one more thing and I'll give you a tip you'll never forget like badass this is where she goes into like she's in ash mode now. This is like Cillian Murphy at the end of 28 Days Later type.
Starting point is 01:21:09 She's got nothing left to lose. It's her soul or somebody else's. She's like looking around like who do I give this curse to? Who do I curse to? She like looks around the room and sees this old, old, old man. With like an oxygen machine. He's old eating pie alone
Starting point is 01:21:26 in the corner. She gets it. She's like, well, he's old. Right. I mean, I see the reasoning behind it, but I'm still not fond of it. So she gets up to like hand it to him. Soul for eternity, though. Well, yeah, true. She gets up like she's going to hand it to
Starting point is 01:21:42 him. And then as she's walking, this old lady walks up to the old man with a big slice of pie. And the old man takes his oxygen mask off and goes, oh, my gosh. They're like so sweet. And I tell you, every time somebody gives me any object, I think about that old man going, oh, my gosh. Oh, it's really sweet. So if you ever hand me anything, the internal monologue is me going,, oh my gosh. Every time. It's really sweet. So if you ever hand me anything, the internal monologue is me going, oh my
Starting point is 01:22:09 gosh, from like an emphismatic old man. And then she's like, I can't, I can't do this. So she like goes and sits back down. She's like, who can I give this to? And she's like, fucking Stu. So she calls Stu from a pay phone and is like, come to this diner right now and he's like
Starting point is 01:22:26 i know what you did yeah she's like i know what you did he's like what did you what did i do and he's like she's like i know about the mcpherson report and he's like just okay okay okay i'll come just don't tell my dad which is so funny we've never we don't know his dad his dad is not a character so it's like so funny and so stew shows up and is like oh my god christine oh my god i'm so sorry and he's like crying and freaking out and she's like hanging the button like this is a gift that i give you please acknowledge that like you are the owner of this object and it is yours now he's like okay whatever you want just please don't tell my dad what i did and then she like looks at his pathetic face and it's like fuck dude i can't like put this on you
Starting point is 01:23:07 and so she's like you know what just go just leave just get the fuck out of here and so he leaves and christine is like fuck who do i give this to who could i possibly who deserves this of anybody that i've ever encountered who deserves this curse so anybody that I've ever encountered, who deserves this curse? So she looks over to a newspaper and it's the obituaries. And Sylvia Ganesh's face is in the obituaries. And she goes, that bitch deserves it. So she runs back to Ram Joss and goes, can I curse a dead person's soul? And he's like, yeah like in that culture um people like
Starting point is 01:23:46 offer prayers and try to curry favor with souls the souls never really die so yeah you could you could give the curse back to her so she so now we're in full Killian Murphy 28 days later mode so he's like yeah you could offer it as a gift to her and she goes
Starting point is 01:24:01 I'll shove it down her god damn throat so she goes to the shove it down her god damn throat so she goes to the cemetery and it's raining it's raining and but as she's as she's driving to the cemetery the fucking handkerchief comes back and like lurks up it like attacks
Starting point is 01:24:18 her it like slides in through her car's front grill and comes out of her air conditioning vents and gets in her face and attacks her and she crashes her car into the cemetery gates. And then the handkerchief tries to fly down her throat
Starting point is 01:24:34 and she grabs the final corner and pulls it out. And then she throws it onto the ground and starts stomping on it and the handkerchief screams. And then she rips it in half. And then she goes into the cemetery and she digs up Sylvia Ganish's grave as it's like downpouring.
Starting point is 01:24:52 Yeah. Opens it up. Nighttime dirty muddy. Pulls open her casket. And then like as the rain is coming down, like pulls the button out and goes, I, Christine Brown, give a gift of this button to you, Sylvia Ganish. And like shoves it into her throat and then fucking kicks it, kicks her mouth shut onto the button.
Starting point is 01:25:16 Oh, my God. It's like it's like downpouring on her. She's like covered in mud. They're both now like floating in the mud because it's pouring down into this open grave. So much rain comes in that the whole grave like fills with water. And Sylvia Gannish like grabs her hair another time. Pulls out a chunk. The corpse does.
Starting point is 01:25:32 The corpse does. Also earlier when we're at the funeral and it falls on her when they like pull the corpse off of her, it like rips her hair out. So many chunks of hair. Oh no. And so now we're in this like flooding grave as with the the the envelope in her in Sylvia's mouth. It's filling with water. And then a grave tips over and like hits Christine on the head.
Starting point is 01:25:53 But it's like so fucking badass. It's really cool. And then she gets knocked unconscious. And then we come back and she like comes out of the like water-filled grave climbs out dawn has come and she goes home and takes a shower and this was like this was the third day and she feels great she goes to the train station union station to meet with clay she walks in sees this jacket that she really, really wants and buys it. She's like, I deserve it.
Starting point is 01:26:28 Yeah, she's like, I did it. Like a new day is coming. Like I beat this curse. I fucking made Sylvia Ganesh choke on her own curse. I'm awesome. And I'm going to go have this nice weekend with my boyfriend. Everything will be normal. She walks out in her new coat.
Starting point is 01:26:45 Clay sees her and is like, you look so good. What happened? What's that new coat? And she's like, oh, I just wanted to get this new coat. I really liked it. And he's like, oh, what did you do with your old coat? She's like, oh, I got rid of it. And he's like, oh, that's really too bad
Starting point is 01:26:58 because I was looking through my bag and I found in my bag this envelope that has a button from your old coat. No, she didn't even notice. You even set it up and I found in my bag this envelope that has a button from your old coat. She didn't even notice. You even set it up and I forgot. And he hands it to her. He like pulls it out and she's like oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. And he's like by the way
Starting point is 01:27:15 I think you have my coin that you gave me at the beginning of the movie. She didn't notice that it was not a button. It was in a sealed envelope. They're both round. The same size. The same shape. And she goes oh my God, oh my God. And she backs up. She walks backwards.
Starting point is 01:27:27 She walks backwards. She walks backwards and we're on a train platform. Oh no. And falls onto the train tracks. Oh no. As a train is approaching. And Clay is like screaming. And Clay is like screaming.
Starting point is 01:27:37 Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. And when she falls onto the train tracks, we see the train coming. And then all of a sudden, the ground beneath her cracks open. We see those red orange flames. A bunch of demon hands reach up and drag her to hell. And we see Clay's reaching over and the hellfire reflected in his face as he's crying. And it's like, no. And she's being pulled into hell.
Starting point is 01:28:03 And at this point, train is like going over the tracks like where she is but she's being dragged down she's in hell now and that's and then drag me to hell font comes up on screen and that's the end of the movie it's fucking wild oh
Starting point is 01:28:19 no she got dragged to hell she got dragged to hell they told us she would I couldn't fucking believe it. I couldn't believe that's how it ends. Is there a drag me to hell too? I don't think so. No, but Joel has an idea for a sequel. If you're listening. I was in love with it if you want to come back.
Starting point is 01:28:36 If you're listening, this idea is Joel's trademark. Can I tell you this? Sam Raimi, if you're listening, I know that you haven't made a sequel because you needed the right idea. I have the right idea. And great news. There it is.
Starting point is 01:28:49 Joel's got it. I looked it up in an interview with him and he was like, I never wrote a sequel because I just figured she's obviously dead and burning in hell forever. It was so upsetting. He was like, there's no other story for her. She's being tortured for eternity. There's nothing else to happen. Game over. tortured for eternity there's nothing else to happen there are some people too that have that there's a theory out there that like none of this was real
Starting point is 01:29:08 and she just felt guilt at the end she just kills herself like she just throws herself in front of the train to kill herself because you see the train like going over her when she's being dragged down like the train would have hit her and there is that theory I don't
Starting point is 01:29:24 really buy it because I don't think that the movie asks you to. Especially given that Sam Raimi interview. Yeah. Where he said she's burning him out. It's so brutal. What's your hot take? So my hot take is maybe it's not that hot now that we're in and I've already like planted my seeds. But maybe that's a weird thing to say.
Starting point is 01:29:41 Maybe that's a weird thing to say. But I think that the big, so in that final scene, she says to Clay, like, hey, I just have to say to you, I could have given Miss Ganesh a extension and I chose not to. And I've been feeling really guilty about that and that's what this has all been about.
Starting point is 01:30:04 And I have to take ownership that I could have has all been about and i have to like take ownership that i could have given her an extension and i didn't right and it's presented as if that is the arc of her characters that she realized that that's what she did wrong right that is not what she did wrong and so i think the reason that she ends up going to hell is because she doesn't square with what she actually got cursed for, which was shaming that woman. She kept putting it off on like, well, I made this business decision. And that wasn't what her flaw was.
Starting point is 01:30:34 It was that she didn't treat a person with dignity. Wow. I would encourage listeners, if you're not going to watch the whole movie. Sounds fun. It's really fun. But watch that final scene because it is so chilling that realization
Starting point is 01:30:49 of like I spent a whole night in a fucking open grave with a corpse and it was for nothing because I didn't a rare coin down her throat I didn't open a fucking envelope I'm going to hell
Starting point is 01:31:05 forever. It's crazy. Yeah, that's upsetting. It's upsetting. And if you want to look up Alison Lohman on Instagram, she's only got about 4,000 followers. Give her a follow. Give her a follow. I hope that we conveyed how funny
Starting point is 01:31:21 this movie is. It's funny. It's so funny. It's like slapstick and it's also so scary but it's so so funny. And it won't give you nightmares I don't think. Even I woke up in the middle of the night the night after watching it and went and like thought about it and was like am I gonna be scared? Am I gonna be scared? No.
Starting point is 01:31:37 Okay. And if that's true for me it's true for anyone. There you go. That's an endorsement. Watch it. Watch it. I don't know guys. What do you think Ken do you think ken not a fan no no i'm a fan you're not gonna watch it i don't think i'm gonna watch it but that being said i would i think i would want to watch it in the context that joel first saw it with like a bunch of people with like 20 people in a big movie theater where no one knows what's going on and then you're pleasantly surprised and shocked all right any other i joel thank you for taking us on that wild ride two very different films you've you've guided us through to be honest
Starting point is 01:32:17 you are such a good storyteller oh wow you, really good. And we need to have you on the pod every other week. Every other week. I'm like, not kidding. There's other movies I'd love to share with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Start making a list. All your favorites. I'll make a list.
Starting point is 01:32:35 Check it twice. Make a list. Check it twice. And find out who's only naughty. That's it. Well, guys, what a great time. What a great fucking time. I had a good time. I had a great time. I what a great time what a great fucking time I had a good time I had a great time
Starting point is 01:32:49 I watched another scary movie maybe I'll maybe I'll watch another one at some point in my life yeah it's a great one who knows is the ratio gonna change are you guys gonna be brave and I'm gonna be scared no no no you can rest assured that I'm staying in scared camp but I'm like dipping a scared. No, no, no. You can rest assured that I'm staying in scared camp, but I'm
Starting point is 01:33:05 dipping a toe in. Just a tiny little toe. Every month. You're going to watch a scary movie. No, every quarter. Well, great. Wait, were there any accents in this? Or any fun voices?
Starting point is 01:33:23 I mean, I beg you. Yeah, Sylvia has a great accent. And you're shaming. Well. And we can't really say goodbye. It sounds like Dracula, but let's do it. Ready? Goodbye.
Starting point is 01:33:34 Goodbye. I don't know. I hate that. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Hi, guys.
Starting point is 01:33:42 It's Sammy. Thank you so much for listening to another episode of Too Scary Didn't Watch. Joel is such a great guest. We love having him so much. And if you had as much fun hearing all about Drag Me to Hell as we did, please rate us five stars on Apple Podcasts. It takes like less than a minute and it really means a lot to us. So we'd really appreciate it.
Starting point is 01:34:03 It takes like less than a minute and it really means a lot to us. So we'd really appreciate it. Um, and if you haven't yet follow us on social media at TSDW podcast, we are on Instagram and Twitter. That is where we posted our, um, crazy sexist review that we quoted way too much in this episode. Sorry about that.
Starting point is 01:34:22 But if you want to check it out, that's where to find it. Um, yeah. Have a great week. We love you so much. Bye.

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